Original subtitles

TOOKIE BAH WABA!

HAO!

IKI BAH BAH.

HA HA HA.

d I LAILA 'O KAUA'I LA d

d NO MALIHINI OHANA d

d WELCOME, COUSINS, A-COME ON BY d

d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d

MAKA MAKA!

d I LAILA 'O KAUA'I LA d

d NO MALIHINI OHANA d

d WELCOME, COUSINS, A-COME ON BY d

d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d

d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d

HA HA HA!

AH, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

d IKI TOOKIE NEE HI! d

d IKI TOOKIE NEE HI! d

d AKA TIKI BAH BAH d

d AKA TIKI BAH BAH d

d GABBA IKA TASOOPA? d

d GABBA IKA TASOOPA? d

OOOCHA! CHI-KA!

d MIKI MIKI COCONUT d

d I LAILA 'O KAUA'I LA d

d NO MALIHINI OHANA d

d WELCOME, COUSINS, A-COME ON BY d

d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d

d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d

d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d

Girls: WOW.

WE'RE UP SO HIGH.

I BET WE'RE IN SPACE ALREADY.

THIS IS ALMOST AS COOL AS THE REAL OUTER SPACE.

STOP SAYING YOU'VE BEEN TO OUTER SPACE, LILO.

REAL ASTRONAUTS HAVE SPACE SUITS.

YOU DON'T GOT A SPACE SUIT.

YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!

THE ONLY PLACE YOU'VE BEEN IS PLANET WEIRDO.

BUT IT'S TRUE!

ME AND STITCH...

WHOO! WAHH! STITCH?

STITCH!

Stitch: WHOO! [LAUGHS]

[LAUGHING]

NIKA!

STITCH, GET OUT OF THERE!

WHOA!

AAAH--

[MUFFLED] GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!

AAAAH!

GET THIS OFF! I CAN'T SEE!

[GRUNTS]

JIJIBA!

BAD STITCH--

HOT-WIRING THE MOON BUGGY.

BAD!

OKI DOPA!

HELP ME! HELP ME!

[CRASH] Stitch: UH-OH.

Lilo: COBRA BUBBLES?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

THERE ARE QUESTIONS IN LIFE ONE PREFERS NOT TO ANSWER.

SO TRUE.

SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

LILO, I APPRECIATE YOUR CURIOSITY,

BUT THERE COMES A TIME WHEN ADULTS

MUST DEAL WITH ADULT PROBLEMS,

AND CHILDREN MUST STAY WITH THEIR FIELD TRIPS

AND OUT OF ADULTS' HAIR.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

YOU DON'T HAVE ANY HAIR.

SOMETHING TELLS ME HE'S NOT HERE

ON OFFICIAL SOCIAL WORKER BUSINESS.

COME ON.

I'M AFRAID I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I KNEW IT.

HE'S OBVIOUSLY STILL MOONLIGHTING

FOR THE CIA.

[SQUEAKING SOUND]

UH-OH.

WHAT IS IT?

TELL ME!

POLA TA?

[MIMICS FLYING SOUND AND CRASHING NOISE]

EITHER AN EVIL FIST-WIELDING MANIAC

IS GOING AROUND SMASHING PLANETARIUM DISPLAYS...

OR A GIANT ASTEROID IS HEADING TOWARDS EARTH

TO DESTROY US ALL!

Cobra Bubbles' voice: I'M AFRAID THERE'S NOTHING THAT CAN BE DONE.

OUR GOVERNMENT JUST DOESN'T HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY.

NOTHING?

THERE MUST BE SOME CONTINGENCY PLAN.

IF YOU MUST KNOW,

THE PLAN IS TO GET KEY PEOPLE

SAFELY UNDERGROUND, THEN HOPE FOR THE BEST.

OGDEN HAS TO HELP OUT.

WOW. SO, WHERE SHOULD I REPORT,

YOU KNOW, TO GO UNDERGROUND?

I SAID KEY PEOPLE.

WE'VE GOT TO TELL EVERYONE.

COME ON!

I'M SO SICK OF THIS EARTH FOOD.

THE CHEWING AND SWALLOWING IS ABSURD.

ON HOME PLANET KWELTEKWAN,

NUTRIENTS ARE ABSORBED DIRECTLY THROUGH THE SKIN--

MUCH MORE EFFICIENT.

I FIND EARTH DINING A FASCINATING RITUAL.

FAMILIES SIT DOWN TOGETHER,

ENGAGE IN PETTY POWER STRUGGLES,

REPORT THE TRIVIAL NEWS OF THE DAY--

JUMBA, PLEAKLEY!

AN ASTEROID IS HEADING RIGHT TOWARDS EARTH!

OOH! AN ASTEROID!

I'LL NEED TO PUT TOGETHER

A NICE ASTEROID-WATCHING OUTFIT.

MAYBE WITH MY NEW SUN HAT--

PLEAKLEY, THE ASTEROID'S GONNA SMASH RIGHT INTO US.

WE'RE ALL DOOMED!

OH. PERHAPS A CASUAL GOLF VISOR

WOULD BE MORE APPROPRIATE?

CALM DOWN, LITTLE ONE.

I HAVE HERE TO MY DISPOSAL

THE MOST BOOTY-KICK MONITORING EQUIPMENT IN THE GALAXY.

IF WHAT YOU SAY WERE TRUE,

I WOULD HAVE BEEN NOTIFIED.

NOW, LET US SEE.

I'M SURE THAT ALL OF YOUR TALKS OF ASTEROIDS AND DOOM

ARE NOTHING AT ALL TO BE WORRIED--

Cheery computer voice: WARNING--

GIANT ASTEROID HEADING RIGHT TOWARDS EARTH.

YOU ARE ALL DOOMED.

AND YOU'VE GOT 2 NEW E-MAILS.

SEE? DOOMED?

DOOMED ISN'T FASCINATING.

DOOMED IS TERRIBLE.

WE'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!

ONLY TAKE THE ESSENTIALS!

I WILL PREPARE SPACESHIP. WE LEAVE TONIGHT.

OHANA MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND.

IF WE'RE LEAVING, WE HAVE TO TAKE EVERYONE WITH US.

YOU TELL YOUR COUSINS AND I'LL TELL MINE.

STITCH AND I ARE GOING TO EVACUATE THE PLANET

'CAUSE THERE'S AN ASTEROID COMING.

YOU BETTER PACK, TOO.

OH, UM, WHATEVERS.

JUST DON'T BE LATE FOR DINNER.

YEEOWW! [GASPS]

OK.

DINNER'S GONNA BE A LITTLE LATE TONIGHT.

HOGAIA, NATA CRINA BOOM!

WE'RE EVACUATING THE WHOLE PLANET.

NEESTA!

KAWANI WAKA MOOMBA!

EH.

UH-OH.

WE'RE ALL MEETING AT MY HOUSE TONIGHT

TO FLY INTO OUTER SPACE.

WE'LL BE SERVING FREE PEANUTS.

RIGHT ON.

AND THEN, ONCE WE GET INTO OUTER SPACE,

WE'LL PICK A NEW PLANET.

[LAUGHING]

OK, THEN WE'RE GONNA SPEND

OUR LAST HOURS ON EARTH

MAKING FUN OF YOU.

YEAH. YEAH. YEAH.

WELL, IT SOUNDS LIKE THEY'RE COMING.

THEY'RE PROBABLY ALL JUST HAVING TROUBLE PARKING.

EH.

HAMCHA.

I HOPE OUR NEW PLANET HAS THIS MANY STARS,

AND I HOPE IT HAS A BEACH WITH PERFECT WAVES,

AND FRIENDS, AND SHAVE ICE,

AND FISH THAT EAT PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES.

[SIGHS]

SURE WOULD BE BETTER

IF WE COULD JUST STAY HOME.

THEY'RE NOT COMING, ARE THEY?

NAGA.

WELL, AT LEAST YOUR COUSINS SHOWED.

HOW MANY ARE IN THERE?

[MUMBLES COUNTING]

KICHA! ONLY 6?

NO ONE BELIEVES US.

LITTLE GIRL, 626, HOP TO IT.

IT'S TIME TO GO.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA...

WHOA!

WE CAN'T GO!

WE CAN'T LEAVE EVERYONE HERE

TO GET...

ASTROIDED.

I WON'T DO IT!

PIKATA!

AAH!

OOF!

UNH, UNH, UNH!

I THINK HE HAS AN IDEA.

Jumba: WE LAND SHIP ON ASTEROID?

ICHI! ICHI!

DIGGING EXPERIMENT DIGS HOLE TO CENTER OF ASTEROID,

AND EXPERIMENT 513 IS MAKING BOOYA BIG EARTHQUAKE.

Stitch: BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!

ASTEROID IS BREAKING INTO 6,400,012 PIECES...

AND SAVING EARTH! HA HA HA!

CRAZY IDEA.

SO CRAZY IT JUST MIGHT WORK, RIGHT?

UH, NO. JUST CRAZY.

LILO, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

I TOLD YOU.

THERE'S AN ASTEROID HEADING TOWARDS EARTH.

WE WERE GOING TO EVACUATE EVERYONE,

BUT I THINK WE'LL GO ON A SECRET MISSION

TO DESTROY THE ASTEROID INSTEAD.

LILO, THERE HASN'T BEEN ANYTHING ON THE NEWS ABOUT THIS.

ANYONE WHO'D BELIEVE YOU

WOULD HAVE TO BE COMPLETELY LOLO.

YO, DUDES. HEY, SORRY I'M LATE.

JUST STOPPED FOR A PEPPERONI SLICE.

SEE? IT'S TRUE. ASK COBRA BUBBLES.

HE KNOWS.

OK! I'LL CALL HIM.

NOBODY MAKES ONE SINGLE MOVE

UNTIL I GET BACK.

LET'S GO.

PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THE IN-FLIGHT SAFETY DEMONSTRATION.

RRR...BBLL...BBLLL!

EVERYONE'S IN THEIR UPRIGHT AND LOCKED POSITION.

PERFECT. LAUNCH SEQUENCE ENTERED?

CHECK.

COORDINATES LOCKED? CHECK!

BLADDER EVACUATED?

CHECK.

THEN WE ARE READY TO ROCKET!

[ROCKET BOOSTERS FIRING]

[BOOSTERS SHUT DOWN]

OR MAYBE NOT SO READY.

INSTEAD, MAYBE WE ARE DOOMED.

IT APPEARS WE ARE HAVING

SLIGHT PROBLEM WITH THE POWER.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

WE HAVE NONE.

BATTERY IS KAPUT.

YOU DIDN'T RECHARGE THE BATTERY?

LILO!

HA HA HA.

ZON ZITSAGAL.

ZOS, ZOS!

SPARKY!

I BET HE CAN POWER THE SHIP.

Jumba: IT'S WORTH A SHOOTING.

OK, START 'ER UP WHEN I SAY GO.

OOH-WAAHH!

[ENGINES REVVING]

AAAAHHH! WHOOP!

OH!

LILO!

UNH! [GASP]

COBRA! I WAS JUST TRYING TO CALL.

I HAVE TO BE BRIEF, NANI.

I DON'T QUITE KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS.

SINCE YOU HAVE ACCESS TO A SPACESHIP,

I THOUGHT I SHOULD WARN YOU--

OH, NO. DON'T TELL ME.

AN ASTEROID?

HOW DID YOU KNOW?

SHE WAS TELLING THE TRUTH.

LILO JUST WENT OFF IN JUMBA AND PLEAKLEY'S SPACESHIP

TO TRY TO KNOCK IT DOWN.

WHAT DO WE DO?!

I NEED TO GET TO A COMMUNICATIONS UPLINK.

RARRRHHH!

THEY SEEM A LITTLE RESTLESS.

YOU SAID THERE'D BE PEANUTS.

WE NEED PEANUTS.

AND SODAS.

AND SWIZZLE STICKS.

UH-UH. I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE NEAR

THOSE LITTLE MONSTERS.

YOU GO.

BUT I'M TOO LITTLE

TO FIT INTO THE STEWARDESS OUTFIT.

SODA!

PEANUTS!

DON'T BE GRABBY.

THERE'S ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE.

PAHH!

Computer voice: INCOMING CALL FROM...

Cobra's voice: COBRA BUBBLES.

COBRA!

LILO, I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO.

THAT'S GOOD,

BECAUSE WE'RE KIND OF MAKING IT UP

AS WE GO ALONG.

YOU MUST BE EXCEEDINGLY CAREFUL.

Cobra: EVEN IF YOU DO SUCCEED IN BREAKING UP THE ASTEROID,

YOUR SHIP WOULD ALMOST CERTAINLY BE DESTROYED BY THE DEBRIS.

Jumba: LOOK! WELL, THAT IS THAT.

I'LL CALL AHEAD TO KWELTEKWAN.

THEY WILL SURE TO BE PREPARING A NICE WELCOME FOR US.

PERHAPS A PARADE? HO HO!

HOLD YOUR HORSEPOWER, MISTER!

WHO SAYS WE HAVE TO GO TO YOUR HOME PLANET?

WHO SAYS WE'RE GOING ANYWHERE?

EVIL GENIUS SCIENTIST SAYS SO,

AND EVIL GENIUS SCIENTIST IS DRIVING.

WOW. HE IS EVIL.

SHARING A BUNK BED, I TEND TO FORGET THAT.

Lilo: JUMBA, NO!

WE CAN'T GIVE UP!

WE ARE GOING TO KWELTEKWAN,

AND NO ONE OR ANYTHING ELSE

IS STOPPING ME!

AAH!

626, STOPPING, PLEASE! CAN'T SEE!

Lilo: STITCH, LOOK OUT!

THE ASTEROID!

UHHHH...

DAHH!

WHOOPS.

OH, GREAT.

YOUR LITTLE MONSTER HOGTIE MOVE

DESTROYED THE NAVIGATION RELAY.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

NICE FLYING, STITCH!

YEAH! HA HA HA HA HA!

JUMBA, YOU'VE GOT SOME 'SPLAININ' TO DO.

WHAT IS TO 'SPLAINING?

IF RIDICULOUS ADOPTED HOME PLANET

IS CHEWING OF FOOD,

AND BACKWARD SCIENCE IS TO BE DESTROYED,

I'M HAVING NOWHERE ELSE TO GO.

BUT YOU CAN'T GO BACK TO KWELTEKWAN.

YOU WERE BANISHED FOR EVIL GENIUSING.

YOU'D BE APPREHENDED THE SECOND YOU SET FOOT ON IT.

GOOD POINT.

BUT EVEN EVIL GENIUSES CAN BECOMING HOMESICK.

EARTH IS YOUR HOME.

YOU HAVE A FAMILY THERE.

AN OHANA.

WITH ME AND NANI AND PLEAKLEY AND STITCH.

THAT'S WHY WE HAVE TO TRY AND SAVE IT.

WE HAVE TO DESTROY THAT ASTEROID.

MAYBE IS LITTLE GIRL WHO IS GENIUS, AFTER ALL.

OKEY-DOKEY.

UNTIE ME,

FOR TO HELP SAVE EARTH.

YAY! INITIATING PROCEDURE

FOR ASTEROID LANDING

AND THE INEVITABLE CRUSHING OF OUR SHIP BY ASTEROID DEBRIS

THAT'S SURE TO FOLLOW.

YOU SURE YOU DON'T NEED ANY HELP?

Lilo: SOMEONE'S GOTTA WATCH THE EXPERIMENT.

THIRSTY!

SIT DOWN!

THE CAPTAIN HAS NOT TURNED OFF THE SEATBELT SIGN.

EVERYONE, BACK IN YOUR SEATS NOW!

HAMMERHEAD, QUIT BONKING KIX.

SPARKY, DON'T YOU TOUCH A THING.

AAH!

YOU TWO GO NORTH, I'LL GO SOUTH.

WE NEED NICE SOFT ROCK TO DIG INTO.

BUT I HATE SOFT ROCK.

LESS TALKING, MORE ROCK LOOKING.

BOOJA!

BURDAK! BURDAK!

ONCE WE BLOW UP THE ASTEROID AND SAVE THE EARTH,

I BET THE GOVERNMENT WILL GIVE US A PLAQUE.

SHH.

WHAT IS IT?

KELTA! YOSHI!

I DON'T SEE ANYTHING.

YARGAAH!

AAH!

A GHOST!

NAGA CHUGA.

YAYA! YAYA!

[GRRR] CHUGA SEVAH!

[GRRR]

[CLANK OF METAL]

[GRRR]

UH-OH! OOH!

IN MY OPINION, THAT'S GOTTA HURT EVEN STITCH.

AAH!

OW. UHHH!

LITTLE GIRL, SLOW DOWN.

WHAT IS THE FIRE?

HEH HEH.

HELLO.

WE COME IN PEACE TO BLOW UP YOUR HOME.

Stitch: AAAHHH! OOH!

OW...OOH...OUCH...

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THIS,

SCARING DEFENSELESS LITTLE GIRL

IN DEADLY GENETIC EXPERIMENT.

[SHOUTING]

WHAT'S HE SAYING?

IS ANCIENT DIALECT.

DOESN'T MATTER.

JUST SILLY ASTEROID SQUATTER.

GO ON, BEAT IT!

COME. I HAVE FOUND PLACE TO DIG.

LET'S GET TO IT!

WE CAN'T BLOW UP THIS ASTEROID.

EXCUSING ME?

WHAT IS YOUR IDEA?

THIS IS THAT CRABBY GUY'S HOME,

AND HE LOVES IT.

JUST LIKE WE LOVE THE EARTH.

WE CAN'T DESTROY IT.

CAN'T DESTROY EARTH. CAN'T DESTROY ASTEROID.

WA-AI-AI-AI-AIT!

HAH! I AM MORE GENIUS.

I AM HAVING A THEORY.

IF JUMBA DESIGNED HYPERDRIVE

COULD MOVE SHIP MILLIONS OF MILES TO KWELTEKWAN,

IT CAN PERHAPS MOVE ASTEROID OFF COURSE, MISS EARTH.

YOU MEAN... WE CAN SAVE EARTH

AND THE ASTEROID?

WAY TO GO, JUMBA!

YOU'RE HARDLY EVIL AT ALL.

BUT...IF WE PUT THE HYPERDRIVE ON THE ASTEROID,

WE WON'T BE ABLE TO CROSS THE VAST DISTANCES

INVOLVED IN INTERSTELLAR TRAVEL.

YOU AND I MIGHT NEVER BE ABLE TO RETURN TO OUR HOME PLANETS.

WE HAVE HOME PLANET, WITH LITTLE GIRL,

AND BIGGER GIRL.

ON EARTH.

OK.

YOU GOT ME.

YA BIG JERK.

Lilo: WE'RE GONNA PUT STITCH'S COUSINS TO WORK.

INNAHOUSA! IN! IN! IN!

YOU THINK IT WILL WORK?

Jumba: OF COURSE.

I DESIGNED EXPERIMENT 383

TO HYPNOTIZE ENTIRE ARMY INTO SUBMISSION.

SURELY IT CAN SUBDUE SIMPLEMINDED ASTEROID SQUATTER.

OH, FREAKY. HE SHALL BE UNDER FOR AT LEAST 20 MINUTES.

WE HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO--

Computer voice: ENTERING EARTH ATMOSPHERE IN...

4 MINUTES.

4 MINUTES?!

4 MINUTES?!

IF THIS THING HITS THE EARTH'S ATMOSPHERE,

WE'RE TALKIN' LEVEL 12 COLLISION!

NO SURVIVORS!

STITCH, GET THE HYPERDRIVE.

JUMBA, GET DIGGER DIGGING!

COME ON, PEOPLE, LET'S MOVE!

[GRUNTING]

AH!

[WHISTLES]

[GRUNTING]

BOOYA!

UNH!

[GRUNTING]

LET'S HOPE HYPERDRIVE HAS ENOUGH POWER

TO MOVE ASTEROID.

HOPE?

I SAID IT WAS THEORY ONLY.

[TEETH CHATTERING] OHH...

I CAN'T STAND THE SUSPENSE!

Jumba: ACTIVATING HYPERDRIVE...

NOW!

YAYA! YAYAYA!

Lilo: IT'S WORKING!

YAHOO!

[ALL CHEERING]

MMM-MMM-MMM.

DID WE LIVE?

I SPEAK NOT ONLY FOR MYSELF,

BUT FOR EVERYONE ON EARTH WHEN I SAY,

THANK YOU FOR SAVING OUR COLLECTIVE POSTERIOR.

SO...

WHERE'S THE PLAQUE?

THE COMMENDATION FROM THE PRESIDENT?

THE KEY TO THE EARTH?

THE GOVERNMENT PREFERS TO TAKE THE STANCE

THAT THE THREAT OF ANNIHILATION NEVER ACTUALLY EXISTED.

BUT I DID MANAGE TO SWING THIS.

"THIS DOCUMENT OFFICIALLY STATES

"THAT LILO AND STITCH

"ARE HONORARY AGENTS

"IN THE EARTH DEFENSE AGENCY,

UNDER 12 AND ILLEGAL GENETIC EXPERIMENT DIVISION."

COOL!

I BET NOT EVEN ALVA'S GOT ONE OF THESE.

WOW! RRRRR! I SHOULD BE GOING.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO?

I MAKE THE DINNER.

Nani: YOU COOKED?

OF COURSE!

I'M COOKING BIG, CHEWING, SWALLOWING MEAL

FOR MY EARTH FAMILY.

WE ARE TO BREAKING BREAD TOGETHER, YES?

UKATA!

MAGARAH!

SUYA!

STITCH!

IT'S JUST AN EXPRESSION.

OH.

[LOUD MUNCHING]

ARE YOU SURE IT'S SAFE?

Pleakley: DON'T WORRY!

I SUPERVISED EVERYTHING.

WE COULDN'T FIND BAKING POWDER,

SO WE SUBSTITUTED THIS FOOT POWDER WE FOUND.

I HAVE AN IDEA.

HOW ABOUT PIZZA?

NOW YOU'RE TALKIN'.

I WANT ANCHOVIES ON MY HALF!

OF ALL EARTH FOODS,

EVIL GENIUS' PIZZA

ALMOST MAKES CHEWING WORTHWHILE.

HEH HEH!