Original subtitles

TOOKIE BAH WABA!

HAO!

IKI BAH BAH.

HA HA HA.

d I LAILA 'O KAUA'I LA d

d NO MALIHINI OHANA d

d WELCOME, COUSINS, A-COME ON BY d

d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d

d I LAILA 'O KAUA'I LA d

d NO MALIHINI OHANA d

d WELCOME, COUSINS, A-COME ON BY d

d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d

d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d

HA HA HA!

d IKI TOOKIE NEE HI! d

d IKI TOOKIE NEE HI! d

d AKA TIKI BAH BAH d

d AKA TIKI BAH BAH d

d GABBA IKA TASOOPA? d

d GABBA IKA TASOOPA? d

OOOCHA! CHI-KA!

d MIKI MIKI COCONUT d

d I LAILA 'O KAUA'I LA d

d NO MALIHINI OHANA d

d WELCOME, COUSINS, A-COME ON BY d

d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d

d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d

d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d

[CAR APPROACHING]

AAH!

PLEAKLEY, WE GOT ONE!

UHH. UHH!

AND YOU BROUGHT IT HOME.

LOVELY.

WHAT DOES THIS LITTLE MONSTER DO?

THAT'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA FIND OUT.

MEEGA NAGA GATI!

NO WAY.

I CAN FIGURE IT OUT BEFORE YOU.

AAH!

HMM.

NO. NO.

COOL.

BUT NO.

I GOT IT!

IT--

EXPERIMENT 032.

YEAH.

I KNEW WHICH EXPERIMENT IT WAS ALL ALONG.

[BEEPS]

HEH HEH.

032 SAYS YOU ARE TELLING FIB.

HOW DOES HE KNOW?

IS LIE DETECTOR EXPERIMENT.

THE MORE YOU LIE,

THE MORE HE BEEPS.

FORCES PEOPLE TO TELL THE TRUTH,

RESULTING IN COMPLETE CHAOS.

IS GENIUS, NO? HEH HEH.

HOW COULD THE TRUTH CAUSE CHAOS?

AH, SOCIETY IS LIKE CLOTH,

AND LIES ARE THE THREAD

WHICH ARE HOLDING IT TOGETHER.

PULL THREAD,

CIVILIZATION UNRAVELS.

HEH HEH!

HUMANS CANNOT SURVIVE

TELLING TRUTH ALL THE TIME.

I'M GONNA NAME YOU FIBBER.

UNTIL WE FIND A NEW HOME FOR YOU,

YOU CAN STAY WITH ME IN MY HOUSE.

Nani: LILO!

DID YOU CLEAN UP YOUR ROOM?

YES.

[BEEPS]

HA HA! AJIBBA.

HA HA HA!

STITCH'S BED.

THAT'S WHERE YOU'LL STAY.

HE'S THE ONE THAT CAUGHT YOU, ANYWAYS.

[GRR]

Lilo: AND KEEP HIM OUT OF THE WAY.

WE DON'T WANT

THE T-SHIRT OF CIVILIZATION

TO COME APART.

[GRR]

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

625: UH-HUH, UH-HUH. THAT'S RIGHT.

OH, YEAH. OH, YEAH.

WHOO! OH--

WHERE'S GANTU?

HE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT A SPA WEEKEND.

OH, YEAH. MM-HMM...

THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE.

YOU TELL THAT FLAPPING FISH FACE

HE DOESN'T GET A VACATION

UNTIL HE CATCHES ALL THE EXPERIMENTS!

WHAT? SUDDENLY, I'M HIS SECRETARY?

AAH!

YEAH! HA HA!

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[PLEAKLEY SNORES]

[RINGING]

PLEAKLEY!

YOUR PHONE IS RINGING.

EH, IT'S HIS MOTHER.

ALWAYS CALLING, NIGHT AND DAY,

TELLING HIM TO FIND A WIFE.

A WIFE?

LIKE A LADY TO MARRY?

Pleakley: NO!

NO! NO! THERE WILL BE NO WIFE,

NO LADY,

AND NO MARRY!

MY EARTH STUDIES ARE MY LIFE.

I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR A RELATIONSHIP.

HELLO?

[WHISPERS] Lilo, no!

HANG UP.

Mother: HELLO? PLEAKLEY?

IS THAT YOU?

MOTHER?

PLEAKLEY! AW!

YOU KNOW HOW LONG I'VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU?

NO, I DON'T.

YOU SEE, I LOST MY PHONE IN THE OCEAN.

[032 BEEPS]

SO TELL ME, SON,

HAVE YOU FOUND A NICE GIRL TO MARRY YET?

I'M WORKING ON IT.

[BEEPS]

[BEEPS]

UGH. [BEEPS]

[GROANS]

WELL, YOU CAN STOP LOOKING

BECAUSE I FOUND ONE FOR YOU.

TA-DA!

[GASPS]

[GAGS]

SHE IS BREATHTAKING, ISN'T SHE?

NOW, HER PARENTS ARE ARRANGING

A BIG, FANCY WEDDING AS WE SPEAK.

W-W-W-WEDDING?

I KNEW YOU WOULD BE THRILLED!

PACK YOUR THINGS.

A LIMO CRAFT IS ON ITS WAY TO BRING YOU BACK HOME

TO MEET YOUR NEW BRIDE.

WAIT! I AM NOT THRILLED.

I AM THE OPPOSITE OF THRILLED.

I'M UNTHRILLED.

I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED!

Lilo: HOW LONG WILL YOU BE GONE?

OH, NOT VERY LONG.

JUST...FOREVER!

[CRYING]

BUT YOU CAN'T LEAVE.

WE'RE YOUROHANA.

OHANA MEANS "FAMILY."

AND YOU ALWAYS WILL BE MY FAMILY.

[CRIES]

I'LL MISS THIS BEAUTIFUL PLANET,

THE SMOOTHIE BARS,

THE 2-EYED PEOPLE,

THE MOSQUITOES.

Jumba: SO DO NOT GO.

TELL MOTHER YOU REFUSE

TO MARRY UGLY WIFE LADY.

AND DISGRACE MY FAMILY'S GOOD NAME?!

WHERE I COME FROM,

WHEN YOUR PARENTS CHOOSE YOUR UGLY SPOUSE,

YOU MUST HONOR THEIR DECISION.

HEY!

WHAT IF YOU TOLD YOUR MOM

THAT YOU ALREADY HAD A WOMAN TO MARRY?

I CAN'T LIE TO MY OWN MOTHER!

OH, NONSENSE.

LIES ARE HOLDING CIVILIZATION TOGETHER.

YES. I'M ENGAGED.

ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?

[032 BEEPS]

Mother: WHEN DID ALL THIS HAPPEN?

WELL, JUST A FEW HOURS AGO.

YEAH! A FEW HOURS AGO. I'VE BEEN--

[BEEPS]

JUST SO BUSY WITH GETTING ENGAGED

THAT I FORGOT TO TELL YOU.

[BEEPS]

[BEEPS]

NICE GIRL? OF COURSE SHE'S A NICE GIRL.

COOK? SHE'S A... PROFESSIONAL CHEF.

[MUFFLED BEEPING]

KEEP HIM QUIET.

YES, I'M AFRAID YOU WILL HAVE TO

CALL OFF THAT BIG, FANCY WEDDING,

'CAUSE I'M GETTING MARRIED ON SUNDAY.

[BEEPS]

WHAT'S THAT CRAZY BEEPING?

UH...IT'S THE DOORBELL.

[BEEPS] YES. IT'S THE DOORBELL.

WEDDING PLANNER'S HERE. GOT TO GO.

WHEW.

WELL? SHE BOUGHT IT.

SHE ACTUALLY BOUGHT IT.

THIS LYING THING IS WORKING OUT REALLY WELL.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

HMM. WHO COULD THAT BE?

OH, IT'S THAT LIMO CRAFT

MOTHER SENT TO PICK ME UP.

YOU KNOW, BEFORE I TOLD HER I WAS ENGAGED.

HA HA HA!

BOY, DID I PULL THE WOOL

OVER MOM'S EYE.

SHE IS SO...HERE!

WE HOPPED A WORM HOLE

AS SOON AS WE FOUND OUT.

I--I--I--

WHAT? DID YOU THINK YOUR OWN FAMILY

WOULD MISS YOUR WEDDING?

COME HERE. GIVE MAMA A HUG.

OHH.

MOTHER, PIXLEY, BERTLEY.

WHAT A WONDERFUL SURPRISE.

[032 BEEPS]

OHH.

[MUFFLED GROANS]

YOU ACTUALLY LIVE IN THIS HOVEL?

IT'S A HOME.

OH. HOW RUDE OF ME

NOT TO INTRODUCE YOU ALL.

THIS IS LILO AND HER MONSTER DOG THING.

ALOHA!

PLEASED TO MEET YOU.

[032 BEEPS]

PLEAKLEY!

ARE YOU WEARING FEMALE EARTH CLOTHES?

NO. [BEEPS]

WELL, YES.

I MEAN, IT'S STRICTLY A DISGUISE

FOR AN IMPORTANT MILITARY MISSION,

AND IT HIGHLIGHTS MY WASHBOARD ABS.

[BEEPS]

SO,

WHERE'S MY FUTURE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW?

I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET HER.

DAUGHTER-IN-LAW. RIGHT.

WELL, YOU SEE, SHE'S, UH--

Nani: LILO, WHO'S THAT AT THE DOOR?

SHE'LL BE RIGHT OUT.

ARE YOULOLO?

BUT OTHERWISE, I'LL LOSE ONE OF MY ALIEN BABY-SITTERS.

YOU'LL STILL HAVE YOUR UNCLE JUMBA.

I'M NOT GONNA BE

PLEAKLEY'S FIANCEE!

OK, I UNDERSTAND.

BESIDES, JUMBA IS PERFECTLY QUALIFIED

TO BE MY BABY-SITTER.

JUMBA!

CAN I PLAY WITH THE CHAIN SAW?

Jumba: OF COURSE.

BUT TRY NOT TO LOSE FINGER.

IS MESSY.

ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT.

I'LL DO IT.

THANKS, NANI.

I'LL NEVER BE BAD AGAIN.

[032 BEEPS]

WELL-- [COUGHS]

Nani: LOOKS LIKE IT'S READY.

VOLCANO SURPRISE.

HEH HEH.

AHH, IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE MY SON

FINALLY GETTING MARRIED.

SO, WENDY TELLS US YOU'RE--

[COUGHS]

WENDY? WENDY?

MY BROTHER, YOUR FIANCE,

THE ONE-EYED WONDER SITTING NEXT TO YOU.

HIS NAME'S WENDY?

YOU'RE MARRYING HIM,

AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HIS NAME?

OH, WELL, I ALWAYS JUST CALL HIM HONEYKINS.

[BEEPS]

UHH!

[GRUNTS]

AHH, HE WAS ALWAYS EMBARRASSED

BY HIS NAME.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY.

IT MEANS "BRAVE WARRIOR" IN PLORGANAR.

OH, HOW I WANTED THAT NAME.

MAYBE HE WAS EMBARRASSED BY IT

BECAUSE HE COULDN'T LIVE UP TO IT.

I MEAN, LOOK AT HIS CAREER.

EXCUSE ME, BUT BEING AN EARTH EXPERT

IS HIGHLY RESPECTABLE.

I'M THE C.E.O.

OF A MEDIUM-SIZED GALAXY.

I HAVE A BATHROOM IN MY OFFICE.

YOU SHARE A BUNK BED WITH AN EVIL SCIENTIST.

DO THE MATH, BROTHER.

OK, OK. PICK ON WENDY TIME IS OVER.

LET'S TALK ABOUT THE WEDDING.

NOW, HOW MANY GUESTS ARE YOU HAVING?

GUESTS? OH, LET'S SEE. ABOUT--

Lilo: NONE.

THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED AT CITY HALL.

[032 BEEPS]

[GRR]

[BANGING]

UHH. UHH!

THAT'S CRAZY TALK!

NO SON OF MINE IS SWEARING

HIS ETERNAL INTERGALACTICALLY BINDING VOWS

WITHOUT A DECENT WEDDING.

ETERNAL BINDING VOWS?!

[RING]

[RING]

HELLO. WENDY'S HOVEL.

ALOHA.

WHO IS THIS?

THIS IS PIXLEY PLEAKLEY,

Ph.D. AND C.E.O. OF THE GLORKNOT GALAXY.

WHO'S THIS?

THIS IS DAVID,

SURFER AND NANI'S BOYFRIEND.

BOYFRIEND?

APPARENTLY, NANI DIDN'T TELL YOU SHE'S ENGAGED.

SHE'S WHAT?

ENGAGED, AS IN "ENGAGED TO BE MARRIED."

ARE ALL YOU EARTH PEOPLE THIS DENSE?

[HANGS UP]

NANI'S GETTING MARRIED?

OH, IF ONLY GRANDMA PLEAKLEY

COULD SEE YOU IN HER WEDDING DRESS.

UM, YOU KNOW,

I DON'T THINK WE'LL BE ABLE

TO DO THIS WHOLE WEDDING THING.

WE DON'T EVEN HAVE ANYONE TO MARRY US.

THERE, THERE.

NOT TO WORRY.

I FOUND YOU A MINISTER.

HE WAS ORDAINED

AT THE HAPPY SLOTS CHAPEL

IN A PLACE CALLED LAS VEGAS. [MISPRONOUNCES]

I THINK THE VEIL

HIDES A MULTITUDE OF FLAWS, DEAR.

LILO!

UHH! OW!

LILO!

THIS--HAS--GONE-- WAY TOO FAR!

I'M NOT GOING TO MARRY PLEAKLEY!

BUT IT'S JUST PRETEND,

LIKE WHEN I MARRIED THE RAT

THAT LIVES IN THE GARAGE.

HIS MOTHER ORDERED A REAL MINISTER!

YOU CAN'T BACK OUT NOW.

WATCH ME.

NOW WHAT DO I DO?

Jumba: LITTLE GIRL,

DID YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH THIS?

[TURNS ON CHAIN SAW]

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

[BEEPING]

I'M HOME. WHAT?!

MY SHIP!

THE PAR-TAY IS OVER.

[BEEPING]

HOW LONG HAS THE CONTAINER COMPUTER BEEN BEEPING?

EVER SINCE YOU LEFT,

AND BOY, IS IT IRRITATING.

I JUST DROWNED IT OUT WITHELECTRO DANCE PARTY 4.

Computer: WARNING.

EXPERIMENT 032 ACTIVATED.

OH, HAMSTAVIEL'S GOING TO PUMMEL ME.

OH, THAT REMINDS ME.

THE RAT FACE CALLED, BUT NOT TO WORRY.

I HUNG UP ON HIM

BEFORE HE DESCRIBED HOW HE WAS GONNA PUMMEL YOU.

HA HA HA.

[GASPS]

WHEN I GET BACK, I'M PUMMELING YOU!

WHOO. OH, EASY. WHOA.

OH, TOO LATE THERE, COD BOY.

YOUR BREATH BEAT YOU TO IT.

WHOA!

[BEEPS]

[ROCK'N'ROLL WEDDING MARCH PLAYING]

[BOTH GASP]

SHE'S BEAUTIFUL!

WHERE IS NANI?

THINGS JUST DIDN'T WORK OUT.

YOU KNOW HOW IT IS.

THIS ONE HAS EVEN MORE EYES THAN THE LAST ONE.

MOTHER?

SO LONG AS HE MARRIES SOMEONE. CONTINUE.

[SONG ENDS]

WELL, DEARLY BELOVED,

HERE WE ARE, GATHERED,

TO WITNESS THE E'ERLASTING UNION

OF WENDY AND, UH...

JUMBINA.

[O32 BEEPS]

HE ESCAPED.

HA CHUTA.

WENDY, IT'S VOW TIME.

LAY 'EM ON US, BABE.

[GRR]

HA HA HA!

[SPLASH]

[FLUSH]

AHEM!

DEAREST, THE DAY WE MET,

I COULDN'T TAKE MY EYE OFF YOU.

[032 BEEPS]

WILL SOMEONE PLEASE STOP THAT INCESSANT BEEPING?!

HMM.

[SQUEEZING AND STAMMERING]

WELL, THEN, LOOKS LIKE WE HAVEALL THE RINGS HERE TODAY...

THE WEDDING RING, THE SUFFER-RING,

AND THE TORTURE RING!

HA HA HA HA HA!

OH, WHAT A JOYOUS DAY.

[STAMMERING]

[BELL CLANGING]

BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME

AS SOLE OWNER AND PROPRIETOR OF HAPPY SLOTS CHAPEL,

I KNOW PRONOUNCE YOU HUSBAND AND...

David: NANI!

NANI, YOU CAN'T--

YOU ARE INTERRUPTING CLIMAX OF EARTH CEREMONY, SURF BOY.

I CAN'T WHAT, DAVID?

OH?

NANI.

HI.

I--

[THUDDING]

LET ME GUESS.

ANOTHER EX-BOYFRIEND?

[ALL YELLING]

AAH!

GIVE ME THE ABOMINATION AND NO ONE GETS HURT.

THIS IS A PRIVATE WEDDING.

DO YOU HAVE AN INVITATION?

WEDDING?!

IS THERE CAKE? OW!

HA HA HA HA HA HA!

TROG, I'LL DESTROY YOU!

[WEAPON FIRING]

[GASPS]

YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY SISTER!

NOT UNTIL SHE TELLS ME

WHERE THE ABOMINATION IS.

WE DON'T HAVE IT!

[032 BEEPS]

WHAT WAS THAT?

NOTHING.

[BEEPS]

FIBBER!

AHA!

THE TRUTH COMES OUT.

NO!

AAH! LILO!

YAI!

FIBBER!

HEH HEH HEH!

I KNEW BIG BELLY WOULD BE COMING IN HANDY SOME DAY.

HA HA HA HA!

YOU WON'T STOP ME, TROG!

I WILL GET THAT LIE-DETECTOR!

A LIE-DETECTOR?

A LIE-DETECTOR?

YOU MEAN THIS WHOLE THING HAS BEEN A GREAT BIG LIE?

THE FIANCE, THE WEDDING, EVERYTHING?

WELL, NOT EVERYTHING.

[BEEPS]

EXACTLY.

YES.

WE TRAVELED 2 MILLION MILES FOR NOTHING?

I LOST 2 DAYS OF MY IMPORTANT WORK FOR THIS.

[032 BEEPS]

YOU ARE NOT FIT TO WEAR THE NAME WENDY!

[032 BEEPS]

I HATE YOU.

[BEEPS]

[CRYING]

HEY! FIBBER'S BEEN BEEPING.

ALL THAT MEAN STUFF YOUR FAMILY JUST YELLED AT YOU

MUST NOT BE HOW THEY REALLY FEEL.

IT--IT WASN'T?

WHY ELSE WOULD FIBBER HAVE BEEN BEEPING?

SO BERTLEY DOESN'T HATE ME.

NO.

I DON'T HATE YOU.

I NEVER DID. I WAS JUST...

JEALOUS!

I MEAN, LOOK AT YOU.

YOU'RE TALL, YOU'RE HANDSOME,

YOU'RE A BABE MAGNET.

HE DIDN'T BEEP!

IT MUST BE TRUE!

I'M A BABE MAGNET.

AND YOU'RE CREATIVE, TOO.

I FELT INFERIOR TO YOU MY WHOLE LIFE.

BUT YOU'RE THE C.E.O. OF A GALAXY!

I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE BETTER THAN YOU.

AND WHAT DID IT GET ME?

A HIGH-POWERED CAREER, A CUSTOM SHOE CLOSET,

AND BONE-SEARING LONELINESS!

YOUR SHOES HAVE THEIR OWN CLOSET?

[CRYING]

IT'S ALL MY FAULT.

I PUSHED YOU ALL TOO HARD!

I JUST WANTED MY CHILDREN TO BE HAPPY!

[SOBBING]

BUT, MOM, IAM HAPPY!

NO, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

HOW CAN YOU BE HAPPY?

[SNIFFS]

YOU'RE NOT EVEN MARRIED.

I DON'T WANT TO BE MARRIED, MOTHER.

I'M HAPPY JUST AS I AM.

THEN CAN I MARRY NANI?

NO! NO!

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

OH.

YOU KNOW,

I'M EVEN HAPPIER NOW THAT I KNOW

THAT YOU ALL REALLY LOVE ME!

YOU DO, RIGHT?

WELL...

WELL, YOU'RE NOT PERFECT.

PERFECT?

TRY LIVING WITH A SISTER

WHO POURS GRAPE JELLY IN YOUR SOCKS.

OR A SISTER WHO HOGS THE BATHROOM FOR HOURS!

BUT NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE ANNOY EACH OTHER,

WE'RE STILLOHANA.

AND WE LOVE OUROHANA....

JUST THE WAY WE ARE.

AH HA HA HA!

SEE? THE T-SHIRT OF HUMAN CIVILIZATION IS MADE OF LOVE...

NOT LIES.

I HATE TO INTERRUPT THE LOVEFEST,

BUT, UH, WHO'S DROPPIN' THE CHA-CHING?

HAVE A SAFE TRIP, EVERYONE!

GOOD-BYE!

BYE, SON!

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!

TRY WEARING MEN'S CLOTHES MORE OFTEN.

OH, DON'T WORRY, I WILL!

[BEEPS]

OK. BYE-YEE!

NOW WE JUST HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH FIBBER.

I SAID I'D BE BACK.

[GRR]

OH, NO!

COME ON. HOP INTO OUR SHIP!

WE CAN STILL CATCH HIM!

WE'LL CATCH HIM ANOTHER DAY.

FOR NOW, LET HIM STAY WITH GANTU.

HE COULD USE A LITTLE CHAOS.

NO, NO, NO. I WASN'T ON VACATION.

[BEEPS]

IT WAS AN EDUCATIONAL CONFERENCE.

[BEEP BEEP]

YOU LYING LUMP OF LUBBER!

YOU'RE ON PROBATION!

OHH!

YOU KNOW, FIB,

I THINK THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP.

[BEEPS]

[BURPS]