Original subtitles

-(teacher): So first...

you wanna squeeze the tip.

Make sure there's no air in there.

(rubber snapping) Then, you're going

to firmly unroll the condom

down the length of the shaft.

(laughing) You wanna...

hmm... try to... ooh. -(student 1): Ouch.

(laughing)

-You don't wanna peel the banana.

Though, there wouldn't be a banana, now would there?

-Ew! (laughing)

-If you don't learn this now, you're all gonna die!

(door opens)

Who's this?

(paper rustling)

Robin. Oh. You're a...

...merican?

From Washington... D.C.?

-Spokane, actually.

-Oh. Well, take a seat.

Now. Let's try this again.

-(Natalie): Is it a boy or a girl?

-(Jenn): I have no idea. Ew.

-(teacher): Do not tear the condom.

Then, you wanna squeeze the tip,

make sure there's no air in there.

(rhythmic pop music)

(school bell rings)

(indistinct chatter)

-(Carter): Hey! George Washington.

(bike clatters)

(tense synth music)

What are you?

-(Shev): Hey, Carter! Let's roll, man.

(music rises)

(fast-paced synth music)

♪♪♪

-HEY! Get the hell out of here! Get out of here!

-(Robin): Shit. -Get over here, freak!

Whatever. We'll try again tomorrow.

Come on.

-(Shev): Dude. -(Carter): Dude.

-(Shev): My scab is gnarly. Look, it's peeling.

-(Carter): Eat it. -(Shev): Gross!

-I'll give you two bucks. -You already owe me like, 200.

(birds chirping)

-Dude, that kid's such a freak. It's like, one of those, like,

zebra donkeys, where it's like a zombie.

-Gross. -In the savannah, they have,

like, the zombies. -Dude, what the hell?

-It's, like, not one but not the other.

-Like half of each?

(birds chirping)

Man, it's the worst class.

It's like you're just blowing into a tube

for an hour. (footsteps)

It's not even like you're doing anything to the tube,

it's just air going in and out.

-Dude, half the class doesn't know how to play, and, like,

why can't we learn, like, a cool instrument, like guitar

or something? I mean, dude.

(indistinct speaking)

(birds chirping)

(vehicles driving)

(distant dog barking)

-(softly): Rats!

(jazz music playing over speakers)

-You're home early. -I went to a thrift store.

What do you think?

-My shoes are too loose.

-Well, you'll grow into them.

-My feet feel like crying.

-Do you like your school? -It's fine.

-Was there any trouble?

-No. Were you smoking?

-I quit. You know that.

♪♪♪

(school bell rings)

(indistinct chatter)

-Hey, Marnold. -My name is Tony.

-Did he just say his name was Marnold?

-Marnold? What kind of name is Marnold?

-Tony! -Whatever you say, Marnold.

-(Shev): You're the expert.

-Okay. Robin, right? Let's find you an instrument.

-Back home, I used to be a clarinet player for a year.

-Mmhm. And you can be

whatever you want to be in life.

Here, we only have saxophones.

This one's broken. This one smells.

Here's an alto. Grab a chair

and a music stand, little friend,

and find a place to sit.

(squeaky saxophone notes)

-What do you think you're doing?

-I have to sit here.

-(Carter): Gross.

-All right! Let's tune up. Give me a D.

(Shev scoffs) -(Shev): I'll give her a D.

(Carter plays off-key note) -(Ms. Pahornyk): Carter! Shev.

(jazz music playing over speakers)

♪♪♪

(insects chirping)

(dishes clattering)

(door shuts) (bird chirps)

-These actually aren't half bad.

-Thank you! -Way to go, Dad.

-I can teach you how to make them, if you like.

-No.

(birds chirping)

(indistinct speaking)

-(Shev): You know I'm faster. -(Carter): Then why do I

always get here first?

(bike clatters)

What's this?

-Whoa. This is awesome. Is that you?

-Did you draw this? -Yes. That's why I'm asking

if this is you.

Hey, how come I'm not in it?

(chuckles) -You are!

-Womp womp.

(footsteps)

-What did we get? -Hold on, you mutant!

I don't even know. (bag unzips)

(trapdoor shuts)

(Shev sighs) Show me.

Bush Party!

Titty Town!

Cracks A'Poppin'!

-A fishing magazine? -I just grabbed them fast.

-You can have that one. -What's wrong with fishing?

I... Buttboy?!

Gross! Ah!

Don't get the AIDS on me! -You grabbed it.

-No, I didn't. I was just grabbing them fast.

-Say hello to Cyndi.

-WAH!

No way. (laughing)

-Yeah.

-Okay. So... try it now.

-I should put the disk in? -mmhm.

(pop music playing over speakers)

(floppy disk whirrs and clicks)

-It's still clicking. -Hmm.

So the problem is probably with your floppy disk.

-Does that mean you lost my syllabus?

-Look, uh,

obviously, you have more than one copy, right?

-Of course. -Great!

So why don't you get the backup, just to be safe,

and we'll work on recovering this one.

-Thank you. -A little easier

to work without him breathing down our necks, right?

(keys clacking)

-So how'd you get so good with computers?

-On my home planet, we are raised by machines.

-Really? -Spokane isn't a planet.

(chuckles) -Right.

You should come out for drinks after work with us.

-Oh, I gotta get home to my kid.

-Oh, you're married.

-Boy, was I ever. (laughs)

-Another time then?

We go to the Far Side Lounge every Friday.

-Man, that new game is so cool. -Yeah, Battle Wars.

It's pretty good. -Oh, yeah. Battle Wars.

That's the name. It's so...

Oh.

Eh... uh... ugh! (laughing)

How come they stop for you but not for me?

-Because you're lame. -Shut up, man.

What's so special about you?

(indistinct chatter)

(overlapping conversations)

(tapping on music stand) -(Ms. Pahornyk): Listen up.

Attention, please.

Can I have your attention?

(whispering): West... Edmonton... Mall!

Okay.

So, we have all the consent forms signed,

except for Carter. -It's coming.

-It's time to assign band buddies for the trip.

Bea, you're with Bridget.

Sophia, you're with Sophie.

Ethan, you're with Eli.

Tony, you're Natalie.

(laughing) -(Shev): Way to go, Marnold!

-What?! -Calm down. It's not like

they're getting married. I think the mall has

a wedding chapel. -Stop!

Stop! You're supposed to put boy-boy and girl-girl!

-Welcome to the future, Natalie.

Moving on. Jenn, you're with Robin.

-No! -Jenn.

(sighs) Carter, you're with Shev.

-Ha! Yes! -Nice! Radical.

This is gonna be cool.

-But don't forget, I need that permission slip signed ASAP.

(off-key saxophone notes) -(Carter): Yeah, yeah.

(sighs)

(indistinct chatter)

(birds chirping)

-Hey, space case!

Get over here.

(tense synth music)

Okay, band buddy.

These are my rules for the trip.

Don't touch my stuff. -I won't.

-I don't want you doing anything creepy,

like going through my underwear. -Why would I do that?

-What kind of underwear do you wear?

-What? -Let's have a look.

Now you're gonna get it.

-(student 2): Holy shit!

-(student 3): Oh, my God! (whimpering)

(thud) -What's wrong with you?!

Fight back!

(thud) (students groan)

-(Daniel): So you won't even call the police?

-For a schoolyard fight?

We'd be calling them twice a day.

Unless you want to press charges?

-No.

-You won't be able to pick your nose for a few weeks, kid.

But after that, you'll be right as rain.

-It's not my first broken nose.

(soft synth music)

(pop music playing over speakers)

-Are you okay? (boxes rustle)

-I guess.

-I'll give you an extra fortune cookie.

(crinkling) -Tony, hurry up.

You've got a delivery.

-If you're Chinese, why is your name Tony?

-I'm not Chinese.

(distant vehicles driving)

(keys jingling)

-Is that your friend from school?

-No. That's Marnold.

(indistinct chatter stops) -In light

of what happened yesterday, I am thinking of cancelling

West Edmonton Mall. (overlapping protests)

If you little jerks can't look out for each other here,

how can I trust you in the big city?

-But it wasn't our fault. -I don't care who started it.

I'm changing up the band buddies.

(overlapping protests)

-Put me with Carter. (silence)

-Me? -But I'm with Carter!

-Shev, you go with Tony.

-Marnold?! But he's already with someone!

-It's me, but that's okay. I'll go with Jenn.

-(softly): Yes!

You kids are gonna learn to get along if it kills you.

-Unbelievable. -And Carter...

I need that permission slip signed by Monday.

No more excuses, or you don't go.

-I'll make sure he brings it.

(indistinct chatter)

(soft synth music)

(vehicle drives past) (birds chirping)

(rock music blaring inside house)

(video game sound effects)

(indistinct conversation)

-No! NO! NO! Damn it!

(theme music plays) This game sucks.

-What? Stop touching me.

(laughs) -Give me your permission slip.

I'll take it to school for you. -How'd you know where he lived?

Is your sister here?

-Hey! You home? -(sister): Yup!

-Where are you? -In here!

I'm just getting ready for work. What do you want?

-Did you sign that thing for the school trip yet?

-What thing? -When's your mom coming back?

-Who knows? Got herself a new boyfriend in Lac La Biche.

-(Shev): Ha! Lac La Bitch! Ow!

What was that for? -I hope your parents

don't think we're paying them back for that school trip.

-(Shev): No, they don't care. -Must be nice.

Who's this little rock star? -I'm Robin.

-Hmm.

-(Carter): I need you to sign this.

-See you later, tube socks!

-Oh, come on!

-I can sign it.

Let me see your mom's signature.

-Whoa. -That's amazing.

-So, what're you guys doing now?

-Uh, get out of my house? (laughing)

(tense synth music)

-Cheer up. It'll be fun.

-It's just a shopping mall.

-And an amusement park with dolphins.

There's supposed to be a wave pool.

Did you want to bring a bathing suit?

-No.

-Here's some money.

Try to have some fun?

-Are you gonna have a big party while I'm gone?

-Yes. I'm gonna invite over all my new friends

to watch the music video show and dance.

-Do you even have any new friends yet?

-No. Do you?

-I will.

(upbeat saxophone music)

(static crackles)

(water flowing)

(indistinct chatter)

(upbeat saxophone music playing live)

(static crackles)

♪♪♪

-No!

You son of a ding-dong!

♪♪♪

(off-key saxophone scale) A bit... further.

Okay. Okay.

We're gettin' there. -Great job, squids!

Didn't they do a great job, Mrs. Lee?

-Oh! Just wonderful!

-Natalie, you killed that solo. Didn't she nail it, kids?

-Heh! Nail Natalie! -All right.

You've got some free time in the mall.

Stick with your band buddies and get back

to the bus on time. Everybody, grab ahold

of your band buddy's hand and hold 'em up in the air!

(upbeat synth music)

(inaudible conversation)

(kids laughing)

-Come on, Shev! Ha!

-You know, even in Spokane we've heard of this mall.

Have you been here before? -Yeah.

-Do you think they've ever been here before?

(laughing) (grunting)

-Do you think they've been out of their stupid town before?

-You don't have an accent. -Why would I?

-When you talk.

-How do you know I wasn't born in Canada?

-Do I have an accent?

-Yes! -No way.

(screaming) It looks stupid.

-Oh, my God. You're scared.

-I'll go.

What? It looks fun.

-Pfft. Come on, Marnold.

Let's go see if there's a bar around here.

-No. -Come on, band buddy!

(screaming) (rollercoaster rattling)

-You got ride tickets? It's three each.

-I can buy us some. (rollercoaster brakes)

(rhythmic synth music)

(horn blares)

♪♪♪

(inaudible)

(inaudible)

(inaudible)

-Hey!

Come here. -What?

-Just come on.

-Carter, wait.

(rock music playing over speakers)

(Robin gasps)

Is that from the ride?

(chuckles) -Yeah, I guess.

♪♪♪

(horn blares)

(seat locks click)

(horn blares)

(whooshing)

(distant screaming)

(engine starts) -Carter.

The bus.

-It's gone? What time is it?

-I don't know! I don't have a watch.

-Why don't you have a watch?!

They can't just leave. That's illegal! What time is it?

-It doesn't matter what time it is, they're gone!

(rapid breathing)

(distant honking)

Okay. I'm sorry.

(distant siren blares)

Come on.

(automatic door opens)

-Excuse me, sir.

Ma'am, do you have a quarter? We really need

to make a phone call. -Get a job.

-Okay. (coin clinking)

-[Hacienda Inn.] -Is this the Hacienda Inn?

-[That's what I said. How can I help you?]

-Do you have Ms. Pahornyk staying there?

-[Can you repeat that?] -Pahornyk!

P-A-H-O-- -We need to talk to

the band teacher staying there. -[Oh, are you looking for]

[those lost kids, too?] -We are those lost kids!

-[Please hold.]

-She put me on hold.

(chuckling)

(instrumental music playing over phone)

(slurping) (engine starts)

-Well... at least we got good at begging.

(brakes screeching)

(chewing)

Ew! Dude, don't chew on the straw.

-I wasn't, I just had my-- -You've had your mouth on it

this entire time.

(Robin sighs)

(engine starts)

(vehicle driving)

-When those girls were pounding on you...

you should've fought back.

(footsteps)

-Thank God you're alive. You two are so dead!

-Hey! -Save your apologies

for Mrs. Lee in the morning. -What the hell?!

-Watch your language! -How could you leave us there?

That's your fault! -I was very clear

about what time you were meant to be on the bus!

-We don't have a watch! -I guess that's my problem!

(footsteps)

You two are gonna stay at this motel all day.

Now Mrs. Lee doesn't get to go to Fort Edmonton Park either.

How do you like that?

(footsteps)

-I'm going shopping.

Don't get me in trouble.

(bird chirping)

(inaudible)

(upbeat synth music)

(skateboard rolls)

-♪ Come with me ♪

♪ Come with me ♪

♪ And I will make ♪

♪ You understand ♪

♪ We will be, we will be ♪

♪ Forever in ♪

♪ This wonderland ♪

♪ You're the one, you're the one, you're the one ♪

♪ You're the one, you're the one for me ♪

♪ You're the one, you're the one, you're the one ♪

♪ You're the one, you're the one ♪

♪ You're the one, you're the one, you're the one ♪

♪ You're the one, you're the one ♪

♪ You're the one, you're the one, you're the one ♪

♪ You're the one, you're the one ♪♪

-What?

-Come on.

-Are you lost? -We have money.

Will you buy us some beer? -And why would I do that?

-Because you look like you need a beer.

(scoffs) Come on. Give him some money.

-Why me? -Because I don't have

any money.

(bills rustling)

-There you go... ma'am.

(distant siren blares)

(footsteps)

-Sweet! We're gonna get drunk!

-We better not get into any more trouble.

-Stop being such a pussy.

(distant vehicles driving)

(sighs)

I wonder what Edmonton beer tastes like.

-Do you know what normal beer tastes like?

-Of course I do.

(rock music playing over speakers)

-What's all this? -The bartender gave us

free shots. -He gave you free shots.

-Which we will gladly drink.

-Sex on the Beach. -I don't drink.

-You do now. -Is it cream?

-It'll make you cream. -Cheers!

(glasses clinking) -Ugh.

Ahem. -I'm so glad

you finally came out with us.

-Yeah, well, the kid gets home from Edmonton tomorrow, so.

-Daniel, we've been talking about you.

-You have? -Yes.

You have a problem, and we're gonna fix it.

-Oh, no, it's nothing bad. -You know

that delivery girl, Jamie?

-I don't. Who? -The hot delivery girl.

-Jamie. -She asked about you.

-I don't know who that is. -Brown shorts? The legs?

-Oh! Yes. -Well, here...

is her number. -Oh. Heh-heh.

No, thank you. -Oh, come on!

She's so cute, though! -So cute!

-Really cute! -I'm fine. Thanks.

-Are you... already seeing someone?

-No. It's not that.

-Hmm. -You're not...

Are you a gay? -Trish!

-Well? -I'm just not interested

in seeing anyone right now. My... last relationship was...

Anyway, she's too young, so.

Ahem.

-Why would you move to Alberta?

(skateboard rolling)

(lighter clinks)

-Where did you say you were from?

-I'm from the States. -(mockingly): "I'm from

the States." -But I live in Alberta now.

-Mm. Sorry about your luck.

-I'm sorry about your luck.

-Oh-ho-ho.

(Robin chuckles)

When did you move here?

-Uh, this year. With my dad.

-What about your mom? (skateboard rolling)

HEY!

That's not cool. -Whatever.

-I gotta go. I have a bus to catch.

It has been a long night.

-It was nice meeting you. (woman sighs)

-Hey, kid. Watch yourself around that one.

(footsteps)

-Come on.

Reach into my pocket. -What?

-Put your hand in my pocket.

-You stole her lighter?

-Heh. Sorry 'bout her luck.

(distant vehicles driving) (insects chirping)

(distant dog barking)

-(Robin): Carter!

Don't get so close to the edge. (Carter chuckles)

-You're such a wuss.

-Whatever.

-This is way better than hanging out

with all those other gaylords.

(both chuckle)

-Yeah. Totally.

-What the fuck?

Don't touch my hair.

-Hey. Look.

There's Orion. -What?

-Those three stars.

That's the belt.

See, Orion's a hunter,

and he wears a belt.

That's his knife.

-I don't see it.

-Here.

Put your head on my shoulder...

...and follow my finger.

-Cool! Are they really close together?

-No.

They're hundreds of light years apart.

(light synth music)

(laughs)

(click) (pop music plays over TV)

Hey, see if there's a porno channel.

-Ew! No, let's just watch this.

-How was Fort Edmonton Park? -Great!

-Don't! I told you not to. -Natalie got attacked

by a turkey. (laughing)

-No way!

-Ugh! This tastes like piss!

-That's our last one! Gimme that.

-How'd you get beer anyway? -(Carter): We bought it.

-You did not.

-Madonna bought it for us. -You did not meet Madonna.

-Yes, we did. See?

-Whoa! -(Jenn): Wow.

A drawing of Madonna. Case closed.

-You did that drawing of me at the Rocket Ship.

-(Natalie): That's amazing. -(Jenn): It's okay.

-Oh, you're right. It's terrible.

-Hey, Marnold, how's the fishing going?

-It's not my magazine. -That's right.

It's Shev's fishing magazine.

-We've got more magazines. (drawer opens)

Check these out!

-Oh, ew! -You guys are disgusting.

-Boys are so horny.

-Horny virgins. -Hey, Marnold. You want a beer?

-Why are you guys so mean to him?

-We're not. Here you go, bud. -No, thank you.

-What, not allowed to drink? -Quit it, I can't hear.

-(Jenn): Yeah. Be quiet! We'll get caught.

-I just don't like the taste. -As if you've ever had it.

-You said it tastes like piss. I don't need to try it.

-I think you should try it. Piss tastes good.

-Real mature, Shev. -What? I drink piss

all the time. You do know what piss tastes like,

don't you, Marnold? -Come on, Natalie. Let's go.

-You're making the girls leave. -What the shit do I care?

-Language! We'd better wash your mouth out.

-Ah! Quit it! Get off! -(Shev): Stay down!

(grunting) Stay down!

-(Tony): Get off of me!

-(Shev): Just stay down! Stop struggling.

(indistinct speaking)

(tense synth music)

Stop!

(grunting)

(lighter clinks)

(inaudible)

(lighter clinks)

(lighter clinks)

♪♪♪

(lighter clinks)

(rock music blaring inside house)

-What do you want, numbnuts? -Is Carter home?

-Nope. -Where is he?

-I don't fuckin' know! Off with the elf.

-♪ Heartbreak, asleep in the night ♪

♪ Do what you want ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

-(Robin): There goes Marnold.

-(Carter): He deserves it. (Robin laughs)

-♪ Can't get you off my mind ♪♪

-(Robin): That looks great. -(Carter): Thanks.

-You're like a professional or something.

-Yeah? I'm actually pretty good.

-Everyone goes.

Men. Women. Children.

-And everyone's naked? -That's just

what saunas are like in Europe. -That's so gross!

What's the biggest penis you've ever seen?

-Probably my own.

-Whoa. Check it out. Who invited Bea Arthur?

-All right. All right.

Attention, please. This is Mr. Anderson,

from the community theatre. -Hello, children.

-He's here to tell you about something called summer stock.

-Who wants to be in a musical?

-They're doing Jesus Christ Superstar!

-Actually, we're not. -Oh?

-Couldn't get the rights. -Ah.

-So instead, I've written

an original musical,

from Mary Magdalene's point of view.

-You have? -I have!

-Oh. -I'm on the hunt for some

saxophone-playing centurions. -Excuse me.

-Yes. -Were there saxophones

in Jesus' time? -Yes.

-All right! So who wants

to volunteer to be part of the show?

It's five weeks of rehearsal at the college,

every Tuesday and Thursday night.

-My dad works there!

Don't you want to?

-Okay.

What about you? -Are you kidding me? It's gay.

And when I say gay, what I mean is it's for fags!

(indistinct chatter)

Watch yourself, Marnold.

-Where the hell is he going?

Ew! Dude, gross.

(engine humming)

(rock music playing over car radio)

-Okay. So I'll see you at 9:30, pick you up.

Oh. Um... I made some spaghetti for you to eat on the break.

-For me? -It's for both of you.

-Thanks. -Give you some energy

to... march around.

-Dad!

(Robin sighs)

(car doors shut)

(insects chirping)

(footsteps)

(engine starts) (jazz music plays over radio)

(pensive keyboard music)

-♪ Why me? ♪

♪ Me, why? ♪

♪ Why me? ♪

♪ Me, why? ♪

(fast-paced keyboard music)

♪ Come on, Dad, give me a break ♪

♪ How much shit am I supposed to take, man? ♪

♪ Come on, Dad, give me a break ♪

♪ How much shit am I supposed to take, man? ♪♪

-Smile, Jesus! Smile!

The poor man's facelift! -I will.

(tense keyboard music) ♪ Judas is wack. Why, Dad? ♪

♪ Cut me some slack! Why, Dad? ♪

♪ Mary's a drag. Why, Dad? ♪

♪ Always a nag! Why, Dad? ♪

♪ Dreams in my head. Why, Dad? ♪

♪ Showing me dead. Why, Dad? ♪

Why...

Dad?

(off-key saxophone music)

-No, no, no, no, no, no! STOP!

Yes. Yes.

Yes. Maybe.

Jesus...

that was beautiful.

Centurions, what the hell?

You! I mean, why aren't you

even in formation with the rest of them?

-This music is impossible to march to.

-Actually, it isn't. We'll do it again.

Just you this time. -It's in a 5/4 time signature.

-Don't confuse him. All right?

Five! Six! Seven! Eight!

Bah-dum, bah-dum! Right, left!

One, two and three. Why aren't you moving?

It's a marching band, not a standing band.

(laughing) Okay.

No need to laugh.

He's probably doing his best.

What's your name? -Marnold.

-Marnold is doing his best. (laughing)

-Gah! Take your musical and put it in your bum!

-(Carter): Oh! (laughing)

-Oh. Excuse me. I'm so sorry.

-Remember this feeling.

Jesus was surrounded by amateurs too.

Okay!

Moving on!

Isabella, are you out there?

Come on up. All right.

As you know, our lead actress also had to drop out

at the last second. No more dropping out!

So... I got us a new star!

Welcome our new Mary Magdalene, Isabella.

This is your boyfriend, Jesus.

-Hi.

The old one was... older.

-Yeah, I know. She's a shrimp.

But I think I can block around the height difference.

-Just... um... -Let's go from the top

of the ballad and see what we get, huh?

(soft keyboard music) Please be great.

-I think that's stupid. I feel bad for the Jesus.

He's gonna be, like, molesting her or something.

-♪ I don't want to hurt him ♪

♪ I don't to be ♪

♪ Hurt by him ♪

♪ He's just a man ♪

♪ Or is he at all ♪

♪ I can't date him ♪

♪ If he's a god ♪

♪ If he's a god ♪

♪ If he's a god ♪

(rock music playing over car radio)

-Hey! Faggot!

-Ha-ha! I got him! -(driver): Woo-hoo!

-Beat it, nerd!

-(Isabella): ♪ If he's a god ♪

♪ I guess I'll be cryin' ♪

♪ While everybody else ♪

♪ Applauds ♪

♪ I just can't date him ♪

♪ If he's a god ♪♪

(indistinct chatter) (giggling)

(camera clicks and whirrs)

-(Carter): Should we go talk to her?

-What for?

-I want to go talk to her. (laughing)

(sighs)

-Hey, Jenn. Hey, Natalie. -Hey, Carter.

-You're Isabella, right? -Just Izzy.

-Izzy. You sang good.

-Thanks. -You're way better

than the last girl they had. -What happened to her, anyway?

-She broke her leg waterskiing.

-So she can't sing anymore? -Well, no.

We're lucky to have you.

(indistinct whispering) -Shut up.

-Maybe we should rent a movie. -Sure.

-When? -Saturday.

Where? -What?

We can't go to my place. -My mom won't mind.

-Okay!

-Sure. -Sure.

(giggling) -(Carter): So...

I'm Carter, p.s.

-Hi, Carter p.s.

(camera clicks and whirrs)

-Come on, Carter. Let's go.

-Okay. Thanks, Izzy.

See you Saturday.

(giggling)

-This way.

-(mockingly): I'm Carter, p.s. (laughing)

(birds chirping)

(knocking)

-Is Izzy home? -Oh! Uh...

(pop music playing over record player)

-This is the best one. I love this band with all my heart.

-Don't they have a better song? -No!

-Hey, guys! -Hey.

-You're late. -We brought snacks!

-(whispers): I'm so hungry.

-So what movie did you get?

-Well, we couldn't decide so we're gonna watch

the Jane Fonda Workout video.

-Uh... -I'm just kidding. Here.

-Whoa... Your mom let you rent this?

-She didn't care.

(indistinct whispering)

(music stops)

-Can we ask for snacks? -I like your glasses.

-Thanks, they were my grandma's.

-Oh... I'm sorry.

-Why? -Isn't she dead?

-No. She just got new glasses.

(laughing) -(Natalie): Oh, my God.

(Jenn sighs)

-Dude! -We have to push them both off.

-Are they faded? -Yeah, I can repaint them.

(indistinct speaking)

-Robin, can I get you a chair? -No. I'm fine.

-Robin, get the lights.

-Or what, Jenn? You gonna break my nose again?

(laughing)

(kids chatter in movie) -Okay, okay.

-That was good. - They're so creepy!

- Why are they always hanging around?

-Snacks. - Over here!

-Ooh! -Oh!

-Thank you. - Nobody wants them here.

-Yeah, that's good. (whistle blows in movie)

-(coach): Out of bounds! -I don't like scary movies.

-Shh! Just watch it. -(player): Give me the ball!

Freaks!

(ominous synth music plays)

-(siblings): No, Mother. Please.

-(Mother): You stay down here!

-(siblings): Don't lock us in the basement.

-(Mother): Evil boy! Sinful girl!

(Mother screams)

AH! NO!

-(siblings) Mother, Mother, come and play.

-Robin? - Stay with us or go away.

-Hey! - Stay together, never stray.

(Mother screaming) Mother, Mother, all your days.

-(Izzy): Robin?

-Just... please keep watching.

-Hey, what's going on?

-Robin, come to my room.

(Mother screaming)

-Hey, nice bedroom.

-Just give us a moment, please?

-I'm sorry. Okay.

-That's holy water. From France.

-You've been to France?

-No.

(doorbell rings) -(Annie): Food's here!

(rock music playing over headphones)

-Marnold? -Whoa.

-Oh! Do you all know each other?

-No. We do not.

(fast-paced rock music)

(upbeat synth music)

(camera clicks)

-♪ You ♪

♪ Queen of my heart ♪

♪ You could have most anything ♪

♪ You could have most anything ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ The light from the stars ♪

♪ Agony and ecstasy ♪

♪ Entropy and victory ♪♪

-Well, it's a small two-bedroom,

but it serves its function.

-You know...

for what you're probably paying in rent,

you'd be better off owning.

-"Annie Waverley Realty."

-"Come Sale Away!" Heh.

My number's on there.

Call me anytime, Dan.

-Oh.

No one ever really calls me Dan.

-Hmm! I guess I do now.

(Annie chuckles) (girls giggling)

-(Jenn): Go! Go! -(Annie): Oh!

Looks like someone had a makeover party!

(giggling) -None for you?

-I didn't want to.

(snaps) -Uh...

Thank you for coming over.

-Bye, Izzy.

-Bye, Izzy. -Uh, bye!

-Yeah, bye! -Don't!

(rhythmic synth music)

♪♪♪

-♪ I'm the video ♪

♪ Video star ♪

♪ I'm the video ♪

♪ I'm the video ♪

♪ Video star ♪

♪ I'm the video ♪

♪ I'm the video ♪

♪ Video star ♪

♪ I'm the video ♪♪

(applause)

(soft keyboard music)

-♪ Love me ♪

-♪ I'm busy ♪

-♪ See me ♪

-♪ It's not you, it's me ♪

-♪ So focused on your career ♪

-♪ Okay ♪

♪ Get over here ♪

♪ Quick ♪ (lyric echoing)

♪ Before I change ♪

♪ My mind ♪♪

(applause)

(rhythmic instrumental music playing live)

(pop music playing over speakers)

(soft indistinct chatter)

-Hi, Dan. -Hi.

-How are you enjoying the show so far?

-Oh. Uh, well, Jesus likes

the sound of his own voice. (laughing)

-Can I buy you a drink? -Oh.

All right. Yeah, okay. Sure. Yes. Thanks.

-Oh... ah! -Oh.

(both chuckle)

(ice clinks)

-So... you're alone, too?

-You mean just tonight? -Oh!

I'm sorry. I don't mean to be too forward.

There's an empty seat next to me if you'd...

like to sit closer for the second half?

-There's an empty seat next to me if you'd like to sit

further away? -HA!

(chuckling)

(rhythmic music playing)

-One! (loud clap)

Two! Tell him what he's won!

Three!

Four!

Thirty-eight! (loud clap)

Thirty-nine!

It's Monday somewhere!

Forty! (loud clap)

Forty-one!

Ninety-six!

(loud clap)

Ninety-seven! (loud clap)

It's a livin'! Ninety-eight!

Ninety-nine! (explosion)

-Oh, my God. (laughing)

(soft instrumental music playing live)

-♪ Love me ♪

-♪ I'm dying ♪

-♪ See me ♪

-♪ It's not you ♪

♪ It's me ♪

-♪ I've got a life, you know ♪

-♪ I've really ♪

♪ Got to go ♪

♪ Now! ♪ (lyric echoing)

-I mean, what even are we?

Boyfriend and girlfriend? Or what?

Jesus? Answer me!

Oh!

♪ I'll love you ♪

♪ Love you ♪

♪ For all time ♪♪

(applause)

(cheering)

(upbeat synth music playing live)

(whooping)

-♪ I'm the video ♪

♪ Video star, I'm the video ♪

♪ I'm the video ♪

♪ Video star ♪

♪ I'm the video ♪

♪ All you need ♪

♪ With me ♪

♪ Video star ♪♪

-Cheers!

(pop music playing over speakers)

(indistinct conversation)

-Okay! Okay! What a show, huh?

What a night!

What a life! Yeah!

Let's hear it for our musical director,

Ms. Pahornyk! (cheering)

Yeah! (whistling)

(applause)

Jesus Christ, our well-hung Jesus,

how about those curls, girls? -Is he drunk?

-100%. -Oh, who cares

what the reviewers think. They can't do any worse to you

than the Romans! Oh! (laughing)

Okay. Come on, Conrad. (applause)

-Hey, have you guys seen Carter?

-Yeah. He's right there.

-Um... Come on, Natalie. Let's go get drinks.

-Mmhm.

(soft instrumental music)

(inaudible speaking)

♪♪♪

(rock music blasting inside house)

-He's not here, super squirrel. -Do you know where he might be?

-Probably out with his creepy little girlfriend.

(sighs) -Shit.

(birds chirping)

-Hey.

-So...

do you wanna make out?

-Let's do something else.

-Like what? -I dunno.

These are really good. Did you draw these?

-Yeah.

-Come on.

(trapdoor opens)

Let's go see if we can find some frogs.

-Don't you want to stay in the rocket ship?

-It's not going anywhere.

(rousing music playing over TV)

-(narrator): Geologists, tapping the mineral-rich region

of Northeastern Alberta, Canada,

develop a 10,000-square mile range of oil sands.

Sands so filled with oil

that engineers predict a potential yield

of 250 billion barrels.

Dynamiters blasts barely 20 feet beneath the surface.

(explosions) -What are you doing home?

- Like mining coal above the surface, steam...

-Why aren't you out with your friends?

- ...rich deposit for processing at a nearby plant.

-I don't know where he is.

- ...steaming hot water separates the globules...

-You are allowed to have more than one friend, you know.

- ...of sand. The oil rises

to the top, the sand goes to the bottom.

300 barrels of oil from 400 tonnes of sand,

and they've just tapped the surface.

(pop music playing over speakers)

-What do you think of this one?

-Nice. Subtle.

-(softly): Jenn, how do you say this?

Fuck... fuck... sia?

-Fuchsia, dummy.

-Fuchsia? That's--that's dumb.

-Oh! Ladies! Please don't apply

the product directly to your face.

-But-- -It's unsanitary.

You put it on your hand,

like this. Hmm? -Hmm!

-This is the last lime one. Do you think you have another

in the back maybe? -Oh? Let me go and check.

It's pretty popular, we should have it.

-That's so ugly. -What are you talking about?

-Izzy! -Come on.

-Izzy, don't!

(doorbell rings)

(door shuts)

(vehicle drives past)

-It's just a big makeup company, what do you care?

-It's wrong. -It's not hurting anyone.

They'll never even notice. -That's not the point.

-Hey, guys. -Hi, Robin.

(dog barking)

-Am I interrupting something?

-Well-- -Robin, do you think

it's wrong to steal a $5 lip gloss

from a giant corporation that owns the whole world?

-Is it a good colour? -You guys are assholes.

-Oh, come on. I thought you two were supposed to be so tough.

(both sigh)

-We already got caught once for shoplifting, okay?

-And if we get caught again, we'll, like, go to prison.

-Who told you that? -Come on, Natalie.

(bird chirping)

-This is the lip gloss in question.

Well, what do you think? -Very pretty.

-You want to try it?

-Sure.

(bird chirping)

(door opens)

(bell dings) -No, no, no. Those.

-These? -Mmhm.

(rock music playing over speakers)

(laughs) -What?

-Excuse me. -Yes?

-Do you happen have another pair of these?

-Hold on. Let me check.

(footsteps)

-Okay, now!

-♪ Just your A-boys ♪

♪ We will always be, we will always be ♪

♪ We will always be your A-boys ♪♪

-Nice try, dummies.

(sighs)

(jazz music playing over speakers)

-Don't sulk, please. -It was just a pair

of stupid sunglasses.

-Do you think you have to steal so people will like you?

-"You're allowed to have more than one friend, you know."

-Are these the kind of people you want to be friends with

if they want you to steal for them?

-Izzy had nothing to do with it.

-So you're trying to impress her?

Was she impressed?

Are you impressed with yourself?

(Daniel sighs)

What if they'd called the police?

I'm trying to be your friend, here.

But maybe that's a mistake. (exhales heavily)

(light synth music)

(bike wheels rolling)

(birds chirping)

(footsteps)

(birds chirping)

-So.

-So.

-Where were you yesterday?

-Hanging out. -Hanging out?

-Just... hanging out.

With Izzy.

-Just hanging out with Izzy?

-Ow! What the hell?

-Put your fingers in your mouth.

-What?

-Put your fingers in your mouth.

Now say something.

-Sausages.

(both laugh)

-Say Izzy.

Say Isabella.

-Isabella.

-What are you doing? Gross.

Why are you here? -I want my fishing magazine!

(trapdoor thuds) -It's gone, man.

-Gone? -I burned it.

What are you two? -Shut up.

-I'll tell you what you are, you're a couple of gross freaks!

(thud) OW! MY ARM!

AGH! Oh!

-Whoa!

-OW!

(rapid breathing)

-That's so messed up.

I bought these for you.

For my birthday.

-Thanks!

Happy Birthday. (Izzy chuckles)

-What's this? -Nothing.

Carter pinched me. But it's nothing.

-Are you okay?

-I don't know.

(both chuckle)

(camera clicks and whirrs)

(chuckles)

It's easier with you.

(Robin gasps)

(Izzy sighs)

It looks like it's falling on us.

-It is.

(pop music playing over speakers)

-Daniel, hi. -Annie, hello.

-You look very handsome. -Thank you. So do you.

(both chuckle)

-Oh!

Mm! Is that Van Dyke?

-I don't know. Uh, it's all they had left at the pharmacy.

So.

-So. Heh.

(Daniel sighs) Here we are.

Dan'n'Annie.

(chuckles) -That's right.

(Annie chuckles)

Oh.

-There you go.

-Thank you.

-(Izzy): I just...

don't know.

-Can you come up here and tell me?

-I don't want to climb into the treehouse, Carter.

-It's not a treehouse. It's a rocket ship.

I stole us beers from my sister.

Okay, I'll come down.

-No. Stay up there.

(Carter sighs)

I kissed Robin.

-Can't you just come up here?

-I'm sorry.

(soft tense music)

(sighs)

-So the horse then says,

"Oh, my God. It's talking dog."

-See? You do know a joke.

-Jokes are for people who aren't funny.

-Mm! I've got one.

What do you call a beaver

on skates?

Yes, please.

(soft tense music)

(bridge boards rattle)

(doorbell buzzing repeatedly)

-ROBIN!

ROBIN!

-Deep-fried wontons,

green onion cake, sliced barbequed pork,

egg rolls, and... a couple cans of cola.

Yeah. Okay.

On hold.

-Your mom lets you order food on your own?

-Yeah, I do it all the time.

Care for a drink before dinner?

(pop music playing over speakers)

-(singsong): Dan'an'Annie! (grunts rhythmically)

A-Dan'an'Annie!

(grunts rhythmically)

Oh!

(Annie giggles)

-Thank you for the invitation, Annie.

-You're leaving?

-Yeah. It's time for me to go.

-Your aura just got all judge-y.

(Daniel sighs)

-Take care of yourself, all right?

Take a cab home.

(pop music playing over speakers)

-(softly): Shit.

(pop music playing)

(chuckles)

-♪ She's a cool ♪

♪ Blonde, scheming bitch ♪

♪ She makes my body twitch ♪

♪ Walkin' down the corridor ♪

♪ You can hear ♪ (Izzy claps twice)

♪ Her stilettos click ♪

♪ I want her so much I feel ♪

♪ Sick ♪

♪ The girl can't help it ♪

♪ She really can't help it now ♪

♪ It's like a high school ♪

♪ A high school confidential ♪

♪ A high school ♪

♪ A high school confidential ♪

♪ Teenage Brandos ♪

♪ Stalk her in hall ♪ -Huh.

You did these. -♪ They tease her ♪

♪ With catcalls ♪

♪ She's a combination ♪

♪ Anita Eckberg, Mamie Van Doren ♪♪

(rapid breathing)

(tense instrumental music)

(thud)

-Carter!

-(Izzy): What are you doing?

-Don't you look at me.

-Carter, what the hell? -What are you doing?!

-Carter, get down from there! -Carter! Don't touch that!

-Seriously, put it down, Carter!

-Carter, it's not funny! -Carter, STOP IT!

(thud) -What was that for?!

-Carter, stop! Get down! -Carter, what the hell?

-Get off! Get out! (laughing)

What are you doing? Carter? -Carter!

Put it down. Carter, stop it! -Carter, don't!

-CARTER, STOP! STOP IT! -CARTER!

What are you doing?! Stop! -Stop it, Carter! Put it down!

(tense instrumental music)

(rock music playing over car radio)

(music stops) -(Izzy): CARTER, GET OUT!

(gasps) NO, CARTER! JUST STOP!

-(Robin): STOP! -(Izzy) Please, don't! GET OUT!

(indistinct shouting)

-IZZY! IZZY! -MOM!

(indistinct shouting)

-(Annie): WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!

You get out of my house!

(indistinct shouting)

GET OUT! -(Izzy): Please!

-I WILL RUIN YOU! You little piece of--

AGH! Oh!

YOU SHIT!

(rapid breathing)

(tense instrumental music)

(inaudible)

(inaudible)

(inaudible)

(inaudible)

(inaudible)

(soft piano music)

(insects chirping)

(insects chirping)

(doorbell rings) -(Tony): Hello?

Hello?

-(Robin): OVER HERE!

(footsteps)

-What's going on?

How can you drink that?

-I'm sorry.

-I don't care.

-I mean before.

We were assholes.

I was.

-And you're not anymore?

(Robin sniffles)

-Can I touch your hair?

-Yes.

-(Carter): Hello, girls.

-Carter-- -Oh no, don't get up.

-Stop it! -No, please, have a seat.

-What are you doing here?! -Stop it!

-You want some, Marnold? (Tony grunts)

(Tony coughs)

So you're cool now, is that the idea?

-Give it back!

(groans)

(thudding) -GET OFF OF HIM! GET OFF!

-Finally! This is what I've been waiting for.

Fight back!

-Stop it! -What are you doing?

Stop hitting yourself. -Stop it! Cut it out!

-I thought you were gonna fight back.

-FUCK OFF!

(rapid breathing)

What are you?

(siren chirps)

(tense synth music)

(whispers): Holy shit.

(car doors open and close) (indistinct speaking over radio)

Just give it.

(lighter clinks)

(footsteps)

(lighter clinks)

(thunder crashes)

♪♪♪

(panting)

♪♪♪

-(Jenn): Fight back! Fight back!

(rising punk music)

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

-♪ What's falling apart ♪

♪ Waking up from a teenage dream ♪

♪ It's the hardest part ♪

♪ To face the truth, accept defeat, hey! ♪

♪ Hangin' on by your fingertips ♪

♪ Hangin' on, but you're tired now ♪

♪ You hold, you got that, then you let go ♪

♪ Free-falling in slow motion, oh yeah ♪

♪ Another day was coming ♪

♪ Did you think it's gonna last forever? ♪

♪ If you did, you'd recall ♪

♪ You'd recall, you'd recall ♪

♪ The wall-to-wall will disappear ♪

♪ They all moved on and left you here ♪

♪ Wishing you could be ♪

♪ A kid again ♪

♪ Back then, in a simpler time ♪

♪ It's too late, the flaw in the design ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ On the street when the sun goes down ♪

♪ Angry kids with nowhere to go ♪

♪ Aluminum machines and the neon lights ♪

♪ Are just memories of you and I ♪

♪ An afterthought that makes us sigh ♪

♪ It all gets washed away in time ♪

♪ An afterthought that makes us sigh ♪

♪ It all gets washed away in time ♪

♪ Everyone you used to know ♪

♪ Now, they've gone and left you here ♪

♪ Wishing someone ♪

♪ Could take it all away ♪

♪ That was a simpler time ♪

♪ It's too late ♪

♪ The flaw in the design ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪