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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,804 --> 00:00:06,572 OH, THE GREATEST THING IN THE WORLD 2 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:08,173 JUST HAPPENED TO ME! 3 00:00:08,274 --> 00:00:09,408 LET ME GUESS... 4 00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:10,786 YOU FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW TO SPELL YOUR NAME. 5 00:00:10,810 --> 00:00:12,845 Jay: HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA. 6 00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:14,213 DANG IT, THAT AIN'T FUNNY. 7 00:00:14,314 --> 00:00:16,058 NO, NO, NO, I GOT ONE, I GOT ONE, I GOT ONE. 8 00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:19,051 YOU FINALLY FOUND A HAT TO FIT THAT BIG DOME OF YOURS. 9 00:00:19,152 --> 00:00:20,185 HA HA HA! 10 00:00:20,286 --> 00:00:21,597 AIN'T GOING TO HAPPEN... EVER. 11 00:00:21,621 --> 00:00:22,488 HA HA HA HA! 12 00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,069 STICK TO THE GARBAGE CAN. 13 00:00:24,124 --> 00:00:25,024 HA HA HA. 14 00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,558 WHAT, DON'T Y'ALL LISTEN? 15 00:00:26,659 --> 00:00:28,779 NO, I ENTERED A NATIONAL CARTOON COMPETITION, 16 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,422 AND I WON. CHECK IT OUT. 17 00:00:30,497 --> 00:00:33,399 2,000 CLAMS. YEAH! 18 00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:35,768 WOW. WHOA. $2,000. 19 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,302 NO... CLAMS. 20 00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:38,848 YOU SEE, IT WAS SPONSORED BY A SEAFOOD RESTAURANT. 21 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,773 I HAD A CHOICE BETWEEN 2,000 CLAMS 22 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:41,940 OR 2,000 BUCKS, 23 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,682 BUT CAN'T FIT THAT MANY DEER INTO A CAR. 24 00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:45,844 HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! 25 00:00:45,945 --> 00:00:47,179 HA HA! 26 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,815 HA HA! 27 00:00:51,084 --> 00:00:52,084 NOT SMILING. 28 00:00:52,185 --> 00:00:53,652 MICHAEL, ACTUALLY, IT'S LEGITIMATE. 29 00:00:53,753 --> 00:00:55,287 THE BOY REALLY DID WIN A CONTEST. 30 00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:56,668 WELL, CONGRATULATIONS, SON. 31 00:00:56,756 --> 00:00:58,596 MAYBE YOU'VE FOUND SOME DIRECTION IN LIFE. 32 00:00:58,658 --> 00:01:00,159 SO WHAT'S THIS CARTOON ABOUT? 33 00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:02,071 OH, IT'S KIND OF LIKE OUR LIFE HERE IN THE HOUSE. 34 00:01:02,095 --> 00:01:04,006 REALLY? WHAT'S IT CALLED? "MY WIFE AND KID," 35 00:01:04,030 --> 00:01:06,665 AND IT'S ABOUT ME, VANESSA, THE BABY, AND ALL OF YOU. 36 00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:10,369 REALLY? REALLY, AND THE CENTRAL CHARACTER IS THE GRANDFATHER. 37 00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:12,448 WELL, OF COURSE HE WOULD BE. HE'S THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY, 38 00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:15,007 THE PILLAR OF STRENGTH, DISPENSER OF WISDOM, RIGHT? 39 00:01:15,108 --> 00:01:17,242 NO. HE'S MORE LIKE A BALD-HEADED LOUDMOUTH 40 00:01:17,343 --> 00:01:18,854 FREELOADER WHO LIVES IN THE GARAGE 41 00:01:18,878 --> 00:01:20,189 AND WORKS FOR HIS SON. 42 00:01:20,213 --> 00:01:21,547 HA HA HA HA HA! 43 00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:22,815 TAKE A LOOK. HA HA HA. 44 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,049 HA! OH, GOD. 45 00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:25,050 UNH-UNH. NO, NO. 46 00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:26,151 NO, NO, SEE, DAD, 47 00:01:26,219 --> 00:01:27,596 THIS IS A MADE-UP CHARACTER. 48 00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:29,988 YOUR NAME IS MICHAEL KYLE. HIS NAME IS KYLE MICHAELS. 49 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,567 COMPLETELY DIFFERENT GUY. 50 00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:33,192 WHY KYLE MICHAELS GOT MY EARS? 51 00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:35,237 OH, WELL, SEE, I JUST TOOK A COUPLE THINGS FROM YOU, 52 00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:37,006 LIKE YOUR EARS, YOUR FACE, YOUR PERSONALITY, 53 00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:38,874 YOUR SKINNY CALVES, AND YOUR CLUB FOOT. 54 00:01:38,898 --> 00:01:40,609 BUT OTHER THAN THAT, NOTHING LIKE YOU. 55 00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:41,877 WAIT, MICHAEL, DON'T LET YOUR EGO 56 00:01:41,901 --> 00:01:43,735 GET IN THE WAY OF THIS BOY'S SUCCESS. 57 00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:45,504 IT'S JUST A CARTOON. YOU NEED TO RELAX. 58 00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:47,506 OH, YEAH? WELL, I'M GLAD YOU FEEL THAT WAY, 59 00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:49,441 'CAUSE LOOK AT YOUR CARTOON. 60 00:01:49,542 --> 00:01:50,409 WHAT? 61 00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:51,343 HA HA! 62 00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:52,544 HA HA HA! 63 00:01:52,645 --> 00:01:55,647 LOOK AT THE TAIL ON THIS HEIFER! 64 00:01:55,748 --> 00:01:56,748 HA HA! 65 00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,083 WHY IS MY BUTT SO BIG? 66 00:01:58,184 --> 00:02:00,185 YOU TRYING TO TELL ME MY BUTT IS THIS BIG, JUNIOR? 67 00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:03,489 IT IS. HA HA! 68 00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:06,091 HA HA. LOOK, RELAX, IT'S JUST A CARTOON. 69 00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:09,128 HE JUST USED A COUPLE OF ASS-PECTS 70 00:02:09,229 --> 00:02:11,930 OF YOUR PERSONALITY. 71 00:02:12,031 --> 00:02:14,166 WHY IS THE MOUTH SO BIG, JUNIOR? 72 00:02:14,267 --> 00:02:15,978 OH, THAT'S BECAUSE SHE HAS 300 TEETH. 73 00:02:16,002 --> 00:02:17,202 300 TEETH?! 74 00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:19,304 YEAH, THAT'S YOUR MANDIBLE PROTRUSION. 75 00:02:19,405 --> 00:02:20,772 YOU ARE A SHARK. 76 00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:22,651 YEAH, THAT WAS MY MOTIVATION. YEAH. 77 00:02:22,675 --> 00:02:24,543 AND WHO THE HELL IS RUFUS? 78 00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:26,945 OH, RUFUS IS HER BUTT. HA! 79 00:02:27,046 --> 00:02:28,981 MY BUTT? YOU NAMED MY BUTT? 80 00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:30,826 YEAH... YOU SEE, YOUR BUTT IS A CHARACTER. 81 00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:31,850 SEE, AND IT HAS A VOICE. 82 00:02:31,918 --> 00:02:33,752 LET ME HEAR THE VOICE. 83 00:02:33,853 --> 00:02:36,188 GOOD MORNING. "GOOD MORNING." HA HA. 84 00:02:36,289 --> 00:02:38,423 WELL, I'M OFF TO WORK GIVE ME 5. 85 00:02:38,525 --> 00:02:39,691 THERE YOU GO. 86 00:02:39,792 --> 00:02:41,160 HA HA HA HA. 87 00:02:41,261 --> 00:02:43,529 I DON'T LIKE THIS. I DON'T LIKE THIS AT ALL. 88 00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:45,074 I LOVE IT. IT'S BRILLIANT. 89 00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:46,431 I DON'T LIKE IT, EITHER. 90 00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:48,133 I... THIS... YOU'VE GOT TO CHANGE THIS. 91 00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:50,235 YEAH, YOU NEED TO CHANGE SOME THINGS, JUNIOR. 92 00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:52,070 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE EMBARRASSING ME. 93 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,772 OR RUFUS. HA. 94 00:02:53,873 --> 00:02:55,974 WELL, IF IT WAS A HUGE SUCCESS, 95 00:02:56,075 --> 00:02:57,953 I COULD MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO MOVE MYSELF, VANESSA, 96 00:02:57,977 --> 00:02:59,444 AND THE BABY OUT OF THE HOUSE. 97 00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:00,979 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! 98 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:03,248 JUNIOR, JUNIOR, THE BUTT'S REALLY NOT THAT BIG, BABY. 99 00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:05,150 IT'S JUST VERY SHAPELY. I KIND OF LIKE IT. 100 00:03:05,251 --> 00:03:07,251 THIS IS CUTE. YEAH. SO WHEN ARE YOU LEAVING? 101 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,488 WHAT'S THE DATE? DO YOU GOT A TIME? 102 00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:10,689 'CAUSE I COULD GO PACK. 103 00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:12,301 LET ME GO PACK YOUR STUFF UP FOR YOU, 104 00:03:12,325 --> 00:03:13,492 BOY GENIUS. 105 00:03:13,593 --> 00:03:15,494 O-O-OKAY. Jay: [ As Rufus ] GET OUT! 106 00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:17,529 HA HA HA HA HA. 107 00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:22,211 SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? 108 00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:23,379 YOU WANT TO GO SEE A MOVIE? 109 00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:24,870 I'M TIRED OF SEEING G-RATED MOVIES. 110 00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:27,606 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I TOOK YOU TO SEE "THE PASSION." 111 00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:31,009 ALL RIGHT, WELL, THEN, LET'S DO SOMETHING EDGY. 112 00:03:31,110 --> 00:03:32,544 LIKE WHAT? 113 00:03:32,645 --> 00:03:35,113 UM, WE CAN READ THE BIBLE 114 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:38,116 WHILE SITTING ON THE EDGE OF A CLIFF. 115 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,219 I'M SORRY, TONY. THE THRILL IS GONE. 116 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,087 IT'S NOT THE SAME AS IT USED TO BE 117 00:03:42,188 --> 00:03:43,722 WHEN WE FIRST STARTED DATING. 118 00:03:43,823 --> 00:03:45,734 WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM? 119 00:03:45,758 --> 00:03:47,993 I'M JUST TIRED OF THE SAME OLD BORING RELATIONSHIP. 120 00:03:48,094 --> 00:03:49,171 WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? 121 00:03:49,195 --> 00:03:50,195 I DON'T KNOW. 122 00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:52,431 JUST DO SOMETHING SPONTANEOUS FOR A CHANGE. 123 00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:54,733 EVEN WHEN YOU KISS ME, IT'S UNINSPIRED. 124 00:03:54,834 --> 00:03:56,635 YOUR LIPS HAVE LOST THAT CERTAIN OOMPH. 125 00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,614 WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? I AM OOMPH. 126 00:03:58,638 --> 00:04:00,405 HERE, I'LL SHOW YOU. 127 00:04:00,506 --> 00:04:01,506 AH. 128 00:04:01,608 --> 00:04:03,242 HUH? HUH? 129 00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:05,877 NOTHING. ALL RIGHT, WELL, ONE MORE TIME. 130 00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:08,080 GET READY. 131 00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:10,115 MM. 132 00:04:10,216 --> 00:04:11,216 WHEW. 133 00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:14,019 [ GRUNTS ] 134 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:15,954 NOW YOU'RE JUST MESSING UP MY LIP GLOSS. 135 00:04:16,055 --> 00:04:17,356 ALL RIGHT, OKAY, WELL, 136 00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:19,558 LET ME DO MY SUPER ESKIMO KISS ON YOU. 137 00:04:19,659 --> 00:04:21,627 HERE WE GO. ARE YOU READY? 138 00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:22,728 HA HA HA. 139 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,365 MM... 140 00:04:26,466 --> 00:04:27,366 AAH! 141 00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:28,500 NO! NO, NO. 142 00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:30,302 TONY, LOOK, 143 00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:32,237 I REALLY NEED YOU TO THINK ABOUT US 144 00:04:32,338 --> 00:04:34,483 AND HOW YOU CAN BRING BACK THE SPARK TO OUR RELATIONSHIP, 145 00:04:34,507 --> 00:04:35,540 OR ELSE... 146 00:04:35,642 --> 00:04:37,776 OR ELSE WHAT, CLAIRE? 147 00:04:37,877 --> 00:04:39,311 WAIT... 148 00:04:39,412 --> 00:04:41,546 ARE YOU GOING TO LEAVE ME? 149 00:04:41,648 --> 00:04:43,615 [ HIGH-PITCHED MOAN ] 150 00:04:43,716 --> 00:04:45,150 AAH! 151 00:04:45,251 --> 00:04:47,986 [ MOANING ] 152 00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:51,800 GUESS WHAT... GUESS WHAT... WE'VE GOT BIG NEWS. 153 00:04:51,824 --> 00:04:53,325 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS. 154 00:04:53,426 --> 00:04:54,793 YOU BETTER NOT BE PREGNANT AGAIN. 155 00:04:54,894 --> 00:04:56,128 NO, MAMA, LOOK, 156 00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:57,873 I'VE GOT THE MOST EXCITING NEWS YOU'VE EVER HEARD... 157 00:04:57,897 --> 00:04:59,441 MAYBE THE MOST EXCITING NEWS ANYONE'S EVER HEARD. 158 00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:00,643 OKAY, WELL, WHAT THE HELL IS IT? 159 00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:01,667 OKAY, I GOT A CALL 160 00:05:01,768 --> 00:05:03,078 FROM THE ABC TELEVISION NETWORK. 161 00:05:03,102 --> 00:05:04,847 ONE OF THEIR HOT-SHOT EXECUTIVES SAW MY COMIC STRIP, 162 00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:06,715 AND HE WANTS TO TURN IT INTO AN ANIMATED TV SHOW! 163 00:05:06,739 --> 00:05:08,140 Jay: WHAT? 164 00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:09,408 MWAH! 165 00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:11,310 OH, MY GOD. THAT'S FANTASTIC. 166 00:05:11,411 --> 00:05:12,688 YEAH, HIS NAME IS FERNANDO TORRES. 167 00:05:12,712 --> 00:05:14,256 AND HE WANTS TO MEET WITH ME THIS WEEK. 168 00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:15,981 I LOVE YOU! MWAH! 169 00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:17,426 SO YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GO TO CALIFORNIA? 170 00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:18,560 NO, DAD, HE'S GOING TO FLY HERE 171 00:05:18,584 --> 00:05:20,095 AND MEET WITH ME THIS WEEK. 172 00:05:20,119 --> 00:05:21,297 THIS GUY'S THE REAL THING. 173 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,220 I LOVE YOU! 174 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:25,223 [ BOTH SCREAMING ] 175 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,993 OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. 176 00:05:28,094 --> 00:05:29,361 LISTEN... 177 00:05:29,462 --> 00:05:30,629 THANK YOU. 178 00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:32,531 CALM DOWN. LET'S NOT GET TOO EXCITED. 179 00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:34,543 LET'S TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND THINK ABOUT THIS. 180 00:05:34,567 --> 00:05:35,978 WHAT IS THERE TO THINK ABOUT? 181 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,413 WHATEVER THEY OFFER, I'M TAKING. 182 00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:39,604 THAT'S WHAT YOU NEED TO THINK ABOUT, SON. 183 00:05:39,706 --> 00:05:41,907 LOOK, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED? YOU NEED AN AGENT 184 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,209 WHO KNOWS HIS WAY AROUND THOSE SHARK-INFESTED WATERS 185 00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:45,977 OF NETWORK TELEVISION. 186 00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,890 HE'S RIGHT. YOUR DAD'S RIGHT. WHO? WHO CAN WE GET? WHO? 187 00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:49,191 "WHO," SHE SAYS. SHE SAYS, "WHO?" 188 00:05:49,215 --> 00:05:50,659 YOU HEAR SHE SAYS "WHO" JUST LIKE AN OWL? 189 00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:52,751 SHE SAYS, "WHO?" "WHO?" "WHO?" "WHO?" 190 00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:54,720 I'LL TELL YOU WHO. I'LL GO GET HIM. 191 00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:56,154 HELLO THERE. 192 00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:57,656 I'M MICHAEL KYLEBERG. 193 00:05:57,757 --> 00:06:00,559 I'M THE ATTORNEY, THE AGENT EXTRAORDINAIRE. 194 00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:01,700 UNH-UNH. UNH-UNH. UNH-UNH. 195 00:06:01,761 --> 00:06:03,562 MICHAEL, YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING 196 00:06:03,663 --> 00:06:05,564 ABOUT NEGOTIATING A NETWORK CONTRACT. 197 00:06:05,665 --> 00:06:07,476 NO OFFENSE, MR. KYLE, BUT YOU'RE IN THE TRUCKING BUSINESS. 198 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:09,768 OH, MY DEAR, SWEET, DAUGHTER-IN-LAW. 199 00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:12,437 YES, I AM IN THE TRUCKING BUSINESS, 200 00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,106 WHICH IS ACTUALLY AN ASSET, 201 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,775 BECAUSE WHAT ARE THE FIRST THREE LETTERS 202 00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,310 OF THE WORD "CARTOON"? 203 00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:19,277 C-A-R. 204 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,379 CAR. CAR. CAR. CAR. 205 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,280 AND WHAT DO CARS DO? 206 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:25,417 CARS DRIVE ON THE "NETWORK" OF HIGHWAYS. 207 00:06:25,518 --> 00:06:27,085 VROOM. 208 00:06:27,186 --> 00:06:29,654 THAT'S RIGHT, MEANING DRIVING A HARD BARGAIN IN THE ROOM, 209 00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:32,624 BEING ABLE TO POSTURE, BEING ABLE TO SAY, 210 00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:34,793 "YOU KNOW WHAT? WE'RE GOING TO PARK IT. 211 00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:36,795 "WE'RE GOING TO WAIT IN NEUTRAL, 212 00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:39,164 "AND WE'RE NOT AFRAID TO BE IN REVERSE 213 00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:40,866 IF IT AIN'T RIGHT." 214 00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:42,467 YOU SEE? 215 00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:43,869 NOW LET'S TAKE THE OTHER WORD. 216 00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:47,839 TOON... SEE, "TOON" IS A LATIN WORD FOR... 217 00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:49,908 TUNA. TUNA. FISH. 218 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:55,313 GO BACK TO THE NEUTRAL POSITION. 219 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,314 OKAY. 220 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,949 TOON... 221 00:06:58,050 --> 00:06:59,351 TO TUNE IN. 222 00:06:59,452 --> 00:07:00,819 HELLO? RADIO, DIAL IN. 223 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,320 [ IMITATES RADIO STATIC ] 224 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,589 RIGHT? TO BE ABLE TO TUNE IN 225 00:07:04,690 --> 00:07:07,092 TO THE AIRWAVES OF NEGOTIATION. 226 00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:08,193 THEY EVERYWHERE. 227 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,195 YOU SEE? AND TO BE ABLE TO SIT BACK 228 00:07:10,296 --> 00:07:11,797 AND HUM A TUNE. 229 00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:14,266 [ BOTH HUMMING ] 230 00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:17,502 UNTIL THE RIGHT DEAL IS STRUCTURED. 231 00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:19,271 NOW... 232 00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:20,939 YOU TAKE A TOON, 233 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:22,607 AND YOU TAKE A CAR, 234 00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:25,544 AND YOU PUT THE TOON IN REVERSE IN BACK OF THE CAR, 235 00:07:25,645 --> 00:07:26,878 YOU GOT CARTOON. 236 00:07:26,979 --> 00:07:28,213 CARTOON. BRILLIANT. 237 00:07:28,314 --> 00:07:31,149 IT'S THAT KIND OF SAVVY THAT I PLAN TO PUT ON THE TABLE. 238 00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:33,218 THAT'S WHAT HE'S BRINGING TO THE TABLE. 239 00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:35,164 THIS TABLE RIGHT HERE. HE'S BRINGING THAT SAVVY. 240 00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,132 SO YOU GOING TO GO WITH ME TO MEET MR. TORRES? 241 00:07:37,156 --> 00:07:38,557 NO. WHOA. 242 00:07:38,658 --> 00:07:41,036 YOU'RE GOING TO COME WITH ME TO MEET MR. TORRES. OKAY. 243 00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:43,161 SEE, FIRST OF ALL, HERE'S LESSON NUMBER ONE... 244 00:07:43,262 --> 00:07:44,696 TAKE IT RIGHT OFF THE TABLE. 245 00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:46,157 CATCH IT, PAT, PUT IT ON YOUR HEAD. 246 00:07:46,232 --> 00:07:47,432 OKAY, IT'S RIGHT HERE. 247 00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:48,811 I WANT YOU TO PUT IT IN YOUR HEAD. 248 00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:50,779 YOU DON'T EVER GIVE THAT MAN THAT KIND OF POWER 249 00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:52,437 BY CALLING HIM "MISTER" ANYTHING. 250 00:07:52,538 --> 00:07:53,405 NO MISTER. 251 00:07:53,506 --> 00:07:54,950 YOU'RE THE ARTIST. I'M THE ARTIST. 252 00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,552 HE NEEDS YOU. HE NEED ME. 253 00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:58,443 THAT NETWORK NEEDS YOU TO STAY ON. 254 00:07:58,544 --> 00:08:00,979 ABC NEED ME. THAT'S RIGHT. 255 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:02,691 SO YOU GO IN THERE, AND YOU PUT HIM ON THE DEFENSIVE. 256 00:08:02,715 --> 00:08:03,715 YEAH. 257 00:08:03,749 --> 00:08:05,450 YOU DON'T... YOU REDUCE HIS NAME. 258 00:08:05,551 --> 00:08:07,319 YOU DON'T CALL HIM MR. FERNANDO TORRES. 259 00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:08,453 YOU CALL HIM... 260 00:08:08,554 --> 00:08:10,332 YOU LOOK HIM IN THE EYE, AND YOU GO, "NANDO." 261 00:08:10,356 --> 00:08:11,523 YEAH. SHORTEN IT. 262 00:08:11,624 --> 00:08:12,924 SHORTEN IT. NANDO. 263 00:08:13,025 --> 00:08:14,459 NAN. 264 00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:19,698 OR JUST DO, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE AFTER. 265 00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:21,599 WE GET THE DOUGH FOR THE TUNA. 266 00:08:21,634 --> 00:08:22,667 THAT'S RIGHT. 267 00:08:22,768 --> 00:08:24,408 YEAH, AND MAKE THE SANDWICH. 268 00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:28,874 GO BACK TO NEUTRAL. 269 00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:30,275 OKAY. 270 00:08:30,376 --> 00:08:31,843 DAD, ON SECOND THOUGHT, 271 00:08:31,944 --> 00:08:33,856 MAYBE THIS IS SOMETHING I SHOULD DO BY MYSELF. 272 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,648 YOU DO IT BY YOURSELF. I'LL JUST BE THERE FOR BACKUP. 273 00:08:36,749 --> 00:08:38,049 YOU WON'T SAY ANYTHING? 274 00:08:38,150 --> 00:08:39,150 I'M NOT GOING TO... 275 00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:40,496 I SAID EVERYTHING I NEED TO SAY HERE. 276 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,964 DO YOU NEED TO GO BACK AND EXPLAIN "CARTOON" AGAIN? 277 00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:43,321 NO, WE... OH, GOD, PLEASE, NO. 278 00:08:43,422 --> 00:08:45,090 I THINK I SAID IT ALL. NO, YOU SAID IT. 279 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,992 THAT'S RIGHT, AND I'LL JUST SIT THERE 280 00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:49,037 AND SILENTLY SUPPORT YOU, AND IF SOMETHING'S GOING WRONG 281 00:08:49,061 --> 00:08:51,406 IN THE ROOM, I'LL JUST GIVE YOU A SUBTLE LITTLE MESSAGE. 282 00:08:51,430 --> 00:08:54,266 JUST A LITTLE TAP LIKE THAT, JUST BETWEEN ME AND YOU. 283 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,211 OKAY, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT... YOU'RE SAYING TO US 284 00:08:56,235 --> 00:08:58,180 THAT YOU'LL JUST SIT THERE SILENTLY IN THE ROOM, 285 00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,449 JUST SIT SILENTLY. THAT'S WHAT I'M PLANNING ON DOING. 286 00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:03,975 SON, YOUR LITTLE SHOW IS JUST A BEGINNING. 287 00:09:04,076 --> 00:09:06,511 I MEAN, ONCE WE GET OUR FOOT IN THE DOOR, 288 00:09:06,612 --> 00:09:08,056 WE'RE GOING TO PROGRAM THIS WHOLE NETWORK 289 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,324 WITH NOTHING BUT KYLE AND SON PRODUCTIONS. 290 00:09:09,348 --> 00:09:10,448 YEAH, YEAH, EXACTLY. 291 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,284 NOW, I FIGURE WE'LL SPIN OFF RUFUS FIRST. 292 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,919 JUST SPIN HIM OFF AND, YOU KNOW, 293 00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:15,387 MAKE HIM BE A COP. 294 00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:18,290 OR AN UNDERCOVER SPY. WE COULD CALL IT "ALI-ASS." 295 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:19,401 YEAH. YEAH. 296 00:09:19,425 --> 00:09:20,425 I LIKE THAT. 297 00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:22,160 AND THEN WE DO A SHOW WITH KADY 298 00:09:22,261 --> 00:09:23,728 WHERE SHE SOLVES CRIMES. 299 00:09:23,829 --> 00:09:24,696 YEAH. 300 00:09:24,797 --> 00:09:25,864 AND DURING RECESS, 301 00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:27,476 WHILE ALL THE OTHER KIDS ARE SLEEPING, 302 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,000 SHE GOES OFF AND SHE SOLVES A CRIME 303 00:09:29,101 --> 00:09:30,846 AND COMES BACK IN TIME FOR THE MILK AND COOKIES. 304 00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:32,915 MILK AND COOKIES. EXACTLY. AND SHE'S BLIND. 305 00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:35,307 SHE'S... OOH, THAT'LL GET PICKED UP IMMEDIATELY. 306 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:36,241 YES. OKAY. 307 00:09:36,342 --> 00:09:37,553 MR. TORRES WILL SEE YOU NOW. 308 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,577 LET'S GO. AHEM. 309 00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:40,078 WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? 310 00:09:40,179 --> 00:09:41,680 YOU'RE TOO ANXIOUS. 311 00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:43,615 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE INDIFFERENCE? 312 00:09:43,716 --> 00:09:44,983 WHERE'S THE CONTEMPT 313 00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:46,985 THAT YOU HAVE TO HAVE FOR THESE PEOPLE? 314 00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:47,919 I HAVE IT. 315 00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:49,698 THEY DISGUST YOU. YES... OH. 316 00:09:49,722 --> 00:09:51,423 NOW, YOU GO SHOW HIM YOU GOT SOME OF THAT. 317 00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:52,991 I GOT... OKAY. GO AHEAD. 318 00:09:55,227 --> 00:09:58,363 WE'RE READY TO SEE NANDO. 319 00:09:58,464 --> 00:10:00,699 LOOK, HE DOESN'T REALLY LIKE TO BE CALLED THAT. 320 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,668 I DON'T CARE. 321 00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:06,838 AND WHAT MAKES YOU THINK WE'RE READY TO SEE HIM? 322 00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:08,650 HE'S GOT ANOTHER APPOINTMENT IN 10 MINUTES. 323 00:10:08,674 --> 00:10:11,142 WE WILL SEE HIM NOW. 324 00:10:13,913 --> 00:10:15,880 HEY. 325 00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:17,392 HOW YOU DOING? THANKS FOR COMING. 326 00:10:17,416 --> 00:10:18,794 THANK YOU. HOW YOU DOING? 327 00:10:18,818 --> 00:10:20,262 THIS IS MY HEAD OF COMEDY DEVELOPMENT. 328 00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:21,553 VERY NICE TO MEET YOU. 329 00:10:21,654 --> 00:10:23,922 THIS IS PATRICK McGUIRE. HE'S AN INTERN FROM IRELAND. 330 00:10:24,023 --> 00:10:25,123 BLACK IRISH. 331 00:10:25,224 --> 00:10:26,825 TOP O' THE MORNING TO YOU. 332 00:10:26,926 --> 00:10:27,759 HA HA HA HA. 333 00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:29,194 PLEASE. 334 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:30,962 UH, WE'LL SIT. 335 00:10:31,063 --> 00:10:33,465 WE ARE VERY EXCITED ABOUT "MY WIFE AND KID." 336 00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:35,477 WE THINK YOUR CARTOON STRIP HAS THE POTENTIAL 337 00:10:35,501 --> 00:10:38,470 TO BE TURNED INTO A BREAKTHROUGH TELEVISION SHOW. 338 00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:40,649 WE THINK IT'S THE BEST THING SINCE "THE SIMPSONS." 339 00:10:40,673 --> 00:10:43,108 OH, THANK YOU. WHICH CHARACTER DO YOU LIKE THE BEST? 340 00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:44,776 WELL, I HAVEN'T ACTUALLY SEEN IT, 341 00:10:44,877 --> 00:10:46,557 BUT FERNANDO SAYS THAT IT'S WONDERFUL. 342 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,513 OKAY, WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER? 343 00:10:48,614 --> 00:10:50,592 I HAVEN'T SEEN IT, BUT MY KIDS TOLD ME THEY LOVE IT, 344 00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:52,951 AND THAT'S MY BAROMETER. THAT'S THE AUDIENCE. 345 00:10:53,052 --> 00:10:55,587 YOU SEE, WE'RE AFTER THAT KEY DEMO... 346 00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:57,322 12 TO 13 1/2. 347 00:10:57,423 --> 00:10:58,723 OY, THE KEY DEMO. 348 00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:00,392 IT'S THE KEY DEMO. 349 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,127 THAT'S WHERE ALL THE MONEY IS. 350 00:11:02,228 --> 00:11:03,595 OH, SPEAKING OF MONEY, 351 00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:05,630 WHAT KIND OF DEAL ARE YOU PREPARED TO OFFER ME? 352 00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:08,099 WE'RE PREPARED TO OFFER YOU WRITERS' GUILD SCALE 353 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,635 PLUS 1% OF THE ADJUSTED GROSS ON THE BACK END. 354 00:11:10,736 --> 00:11:13,138 1%? THAT'S FANTASTIC. 355 00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:14,583 IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG, MR. KYLE? 356 00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:16,741 UH, JUST A FLY. JUST A FLY... 357 00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:18,510 UM, YOU KNOW WHAT? 358 00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:21,613 WE WERE THINKING MORE 1 1/4. 359 00:11:21,714 --> 00:11:23,515 I MEAN 2%. 360 00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:26,151 YOU KNOW WHAT? HOW ABOUT 0%? 361 00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:28,820 DAMN, MUST BE A BUNCH OF FLIES. 362 00:11:28,921 --> 00:11:31,289 LOOK, NANDO... 363 00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:33,491 I READ IN "TV GUIDE" MAGAZINE 364 00:11:33,592 --> 00:11:35,894 WHERE THE GUY FROM "EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND" 365 00:11:35,995 --> 00:11:37,295 IS MAKING 366 00:11:37,396 --> 00:11:39,264 A MILLION DOLLARS AN EPISODE. 367 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:40,665 I WAS THINKING 368 00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:43,068 I'D LIKE TO HAVE SOMETHING IN THAT BALLPARK. 369 00:11:43,169 --> 00:11:44,813 WELL, RAYMOND DIDN'T START OFF MAKING THAT KIND OF MONEY. 370 00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:47,405 THAT'S BECAUSE RAYMOND 371 00:11:47,506 --> 00:11:51,209 DIDN'T HAVE ME AS HIS REPRESENTATIVE. 372 00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:58,049 WE GOT THEM IN A HUDDLE. NOW THEY'RE ON THE DEFENSIVE. 373 00:11:58,150 --> 00:11:59,651 NOW I'M GOING TO GO IN FOR THE KILL. 374 00:11:59,752 --> 00:12:01,352 NOW I START ASKING FOR THE JET. 375 00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:03,755 MAN, WE WANT THE GYM. WE WANT THE CHEF. 376 00:12:03,856 --> 00:12:05,757 WE WANT THE MASSEUSE. WE WANT SOMEBODY 377 00:12:05,858 --> 00:12:08,626 TO JUST OPEN UP YOUR BABY TOE AND GET THAT STUFF OUT. 378 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:09,861 YEAH, YEAH. 379 00:12:09,962 --> 00:12:12,063 SO... 380 00:12:12,164 --> 00:12:13,164 WHAT'S THE GOOD NEWS? 381 00:12:13,265 --> 00:12:14,866 WE PASS. 382 00:12:14,967 --> 00:12:17,035 PASS AS IN WE PASSED THE FIRST TEST, 383 00:12:17,136 --> 00:12:20,572 AND YOU LIKE WHO WE ARE, AND YOU LIKE HOW I NEGOTIATED? 384 00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:24,309 IT'S AS YOU'LL PASS CINDY ON THE WAY OUT. 385 00:12:28,714 --> 00:12:30,715 [ Gasps ] THE RETURN OF THE MOGULS. 386 00:12:30,816 --> 00:12:32,350 HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO! 387 00:12:32,451 --> 00:12:33,785 HOW DID IT GO? 388 00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:35,286 ASK MY DAD/AGENT. 389 00:12:35,387 --> 00:12:36,755 WHAT HAPPENED? 390 00:12:36,856 --> 00:12:38,567 OKAY, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED, OKAY? 391 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:39,724 IT WAS LIKE THIS... 392 00:12:39,825 --> 00:12:42,060 WE, UM, WE WERE, LIKE, THIS CLOSE TO... 393 00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:43,628 AHEM. 394 00:12:43,729 --> 00:12:46,364 OKAY, WE WERE ACTUALLY THIS CLOSE... AHEM. 395 00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:48,666 WE WERE SORT OF IN THE... AHEM. 396 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,301 WE WERE... HE BLEW IT, MOM. 397 00:12:50,402 --> 00:12:52,303 MICHAEL, YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SAY ANYTHING. 398 00:12:52,404 --> 00:12:54,873 I KNOW, BABY, BUT THEY WERE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HIM, 399 00:12:54,974 --> 00:12:57,475 AND I COULDN'T JUST SIT BACK AND LET THEM DO THAT TO MY SON. 400 00:12:57,576 --> 00:12:59,020 YEAH, MOM, THEY WERE TRYING TO FORCE ME 401 00:12:59,044 --> 00:13:00,455 TO HAVE A SHOW ON NETWORK TELEVISION. 402 00:13:00,479 --> 00:13:01,613 IT WAS AWFUL. 403 00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:03,148 SO HOW DID IT END UP? 404 00:13:03,249 --> 00:13:05,026 THEY CALLED SECURITY, HAD US ESCORTED OUT OF THE BUILDING. 405 00:13:05,050 --> 00:13:06,695 WHAT? YEAH, AND I'M GOING TO SUE THEM, 406 00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:08,029 'CAUSE THEY PUT THE HANDCUFFS ON TOO TIGHT, 407 00:13:08,053 --> 00:13:10,021 AND I THINK THEY MICHAEL JACKSONED MY SHOULDER. 408 00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:12,490 I CAN'T EVEN MOVE... EE! IT HURTS... EE! 409 00:13:12,591 --> 00:13:13,769 WAIT A SECOND, WAIT A SECOND. 410 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:14,959 YOU DON'T HAVE A SHOW? 411 00:13:15,060 --> 00:13:16,638 WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING. DAD BLEW THE DEAL. 412 00:13:16,662 --> 00:13:18,062 CAN'T YOU TAKE IT SOMEWHERE ELSE? 413 00:13:18,164 --> 00:13:19,875 WE TRIED. WE CALLED ALL THE OTHER NETWORKS, 414 00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:21,409 BUT APPARENTLY, SO DID FERNANDO. 415 00:13:21,433 --> 00:13:23,935 BY THE TIME WE GOT DOWN TO THE CARTOON NETWORK, 416 00:13:24,036 --> 00:13:26,704 THE SECURITY ALREADY HAD CARICATURES OF US. 417 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:27,939 I TOLD YOU, I TOLD YOU, 418 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:29,451 I TOLD YOU THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. 419 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,176 I TOLD YOU YOU COULDN'T KEEP QUIET. 420 00:13:31,277 --> 00:13:33,378 YOUR MOUTH IS BIG. I TOLD YOU. I TOLD YOU. 421 00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,090 I DON'T HAVE 300 TEETH IN MY MOUTH. 422 00:13:35,114 --> 00:13:37,115 MICHAEL, THIS IS NOT THE TIME RIGHT NOW. 423 00:13:37,216 --> 00:13:38,960 YOU'RE NOT MAKING ME FEEL ANY BETTER. 424 00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:40,262 I DON'T CA... HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL? 425 00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:41,897 ALL OF OUR HOPES AND DREAMS ARE THROWN OUT THE WINDOW 426 00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:43,054 BECAUSE OF YOU. 427 00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:44,699 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I'M SORRY. 428 00:13:44,723 --> 00:13:46,357 OH, TELL IT TO THE HAND. 429 00:13:46,458 --> 00:13:48,393 DOES SHE KNOW SHE LIVES IN MY HOUSE? 430 00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:51,963 MICHAEL, SHE IS UPSET, AND I DON'T BLAME HER. 431 00:13:52,064 --> 00:13:53,608 I KNOW, BABY, BUT... OH, TELL IT TO HER HAND. 432 00:13:53,632 --> 00:13:54,465 UH-HUH. 433 00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,367 COME ON, VANESSA. 434 00:13:56,468 --> 00:13:57,836 SORRY. 435 00:13:59,972 --> 00:14:01,172 I'M SORRY, SON. 436 00:14:01,273 --> 00:14:03,107 "I'M SORRY" DOESN'T CUT IT, DAD. 437 00:14:03,209 --> 00:14:04,375 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE MY FATHER. 438 00:14:04,476 --> 00:14:05,996 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LOOK OUT FOR ME. 439 00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:14,819 [ SOBBING ] 440 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,487 WHAT'S WRONG, TONY? 441 00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:19,357 I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING, FRANKLIN, AND NONE OF IT WORKS. 442 00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:21,136 FORGET CLAIRE. FORGET YOUR RELATIONSHIP. 443 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:22,627 SAVE YOURSELF. 444 00:14:22,728 --> 00:14:25,029 OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?! 445 00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:26,397 TO KEEP YOUR ATTENTION. 446 00:14:26,498 --> 00:14:28,338 WHAT I'M SAYING IS VERY IMPORTANT. 447 00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:30,902 GROW A BACKBONE, TONY. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. 448 00:14:31,003 --> 00:14:33,905 NO WOMAN WANTS A WHINY, SNIVELING LITTLE WEAKLING. 449 00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:38,009 [ Sobbing ] YEAH. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 450 00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:39,711 YOU'RE... YOU'RE RIGHT. 451 00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:42,547 YOU'RE RIGHT. BUT WHAT IF SHE REJECTS ME AGAIN? 452 00:14:42,648 --> 00:14:44,282 OW! 453 00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:45,917 WHAT WAS THAT ONE FOR? 454 00:14:46,018 --> 00:14:48,353 TO MAN YOU UP, BECAUSE HERE SHE COMES. 455 00:14:48,454 --> 00:14:49,454 OW! 456 00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:52,991 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 457 00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:56,561 [ SOBBING AND GASPING ] 458 00:14:56,662 --> 00:14:58,129 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M... NO. 459 00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,965 [ GASPING ] 460 00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:02,800 WHEW. 461 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,103 [ GASPING ] 462 00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:07,205 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M DOING HERE, CLAIRE. 463 00:15:07,306 --> 00:15:09,107 NOTHING'S EVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, 464 00:15:09,208 --> 00:15:10,608 AND YOU DON'T DESERVE ME. 465 00:15:10,709 --> 00:15:12,977 YOU'RE A SHALLOW, VAIN, UNGRATEFUL LITTLE GIRL, 466 00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:14,445 AND I'M A MAN... 467 00:15:14,546 --> 00:15:17,882 A GOD-FEARING, RIGHTEOUS, UPSTANDING M-A-N... MAN. 468 00:15:17,983 --> 00:15:20,051 PLUS I'M CUTE, 469 00:15:20,152 --> 00:15:21,396 AND YOU'RE GOING TO MISS ALL THIS. 470 00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:23,054 YEAH,ALL OF THIS. 471 00:15:24,957 --> 00:15:27,292 AND YOU CAN WATCH IT AS IT WALKS RIGHT OUT THAT DOOR. 472 00:15:27,393 --> 00:15:28,826 OH, YEAH. 473 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,729 AND HERE'S SOMETHING FOR YOU TO REMEMBER ME BY. 474 00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:35,133 [ GASPS ] 475 00:15:35,234 --> 00:15:36,501 [ GASPS ] 476 00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,836 NOW THAT HAD OOMPH. 477 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,004 WAIT. 478 00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:43,741 TONY, COME BACK! OOMPH ME AGAIN! 479 00:15:43,842 --> 00:15:44,842 TONY! 480 00:15:47,012 --> 00:15:48,379 Michael: HELLO, EVERYBODY. 481 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,548 MM-HMM. YEAH, HI. 482 00:15:50,649 --> 00:15:53,251 HEY, COULD YOU ALL AT LEAST SAY SOMETHING INTELLIGIBLE? 483 00:15:53,352 --> 00:15:55,453 HI, DREAM KILLER. I JUST HAD A HAPPY THOUGHT. 484 00:15:55,554 --> 00:15:57,065 WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME OVER HERE AND STEP ON IT? 485 00:15:57,089 --> 00:15:58,957 I WAS GOING TO GO REGISTER JUNIOR JR. 486 00:15:59,058 --> 00:16:00,425 AT PRESCHOOL TOMORROW MORNING. 487 00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:02,327 YOU WANT TO COME ALONG AND GET HIM KICKED OUT? 488 00:16:02,428 --> 00:16:04,162 DOES SHE KNOW SHE EATING MY CRUMB CAKE? 489 00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:06,364 SHE'S EATING MY CRUMB CAKE. 490 00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:08,299 WELL, YOU ALL ARE GOING TO BE EATING 491 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,702 THOSE NASTY, MEAN WORDS YOU'RE SAYING TO ME IN A MOMENT, 492 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,737 BECAUSE I HAVE SOME SPECTACULAR NEWS. 493 00:16:12,838 --> 00:16:14,716 [ Gasps ] WHAT, YOU SOLD THE HOUSE FROM UNDER US, 494 00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:16,220 AND NOW WE HAVE TO LIVE IN A TRAILER! 495 00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:18,042 CLOSE. 496 00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:20,311 ACTUALLY, I'M KIDDING. HA HA HA. 497 00:16:20,412 --> 00:16:22,013 LOOK... 498 00:16:22,114 --> 00:16:24,649 LOOK, I KNOW YOU'VE ALL PROBABLY BEEN WONDERING, 499 00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:27,251 WHERE HAVE I BEEN THESE PAST TWO DAYS? 500 00:16:27,353 --> 00:16:29,887 FOR REAL, I HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT YOU ONE TIME. 501 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,723 I GOT... MY HEAD IS... 502 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:36,060 WELL, IN CASE... IN CASE YOU WAS WORRIED... 503 00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:37,962 I WAS ONLINE. 504 00:16:38,063 --> 00:16:39,063 GREAT. WHY? 505 00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:40,598 WELL, LOOK, 506 00:16:40,699 --> 00:16:42,877 IT'S UP TO YOU, JUNIOR, IF YOU WANT TO ACCEPT THIS OR NOT, 507 00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:44,569 BUT IN AN EFFORT TO REDEEM MYSELF, 508 00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,304 I STRUCK A DEAL... 509 00:16:46,405 --> 00:16:47,905 HA HA HA HA... 510 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,508 I STRUCK A DEAL TO SELL YOUR IDEA 511 00:16:50,609 --> 00:16:52,510 TO A STARTUP INTERNET COMPANY. 512 00:16:52,611 --> 00:16:53,778 REALLY? 513 00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:55,613 YES. NOW, THE MONEY IS NOT AS GOOD 514 00:16:55,714 --> 00:16:57,682 AS, SAY, "NETWORK TELEVISION," 515 00:16:57,783 --> 00:17:00,485 BUT THE MERCHANDISING COULD BE HUGE, AND... 516 00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:01,853 YOU'LL OWN IT. 517 00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:03,755 WOW, DAD. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 518 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,656 JUNIOR, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING. 519 00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:06,924 I OWE YOU THIS. 520 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,926 AND YOU KNOW WHAT, JUNIOR? 521 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,895 ANYTIME YOU DO SOMETHING STUPID, 522 00:17:10,996 --> 00:17:13,108 I ALWAYS POP YOU IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD, RIGHT THERE. 523 00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:14,565 YEAH. 524 00:17:14,666 --> 00:17:15,944 AW, IT MAKE ME WANT TO HIT IT RIGHT NOW. 525 00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:16,868 YEAH... OH, OH... 526 00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:18,569 THAT'S THE SWEET SPOT 527 00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:20,004 RIGHT HERE. 528 00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:21,939 BUT... 529 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,307 I'M NOT GOING TO DO IT. 530 00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:24,275 OKAY. 531 00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:25,810 I'M GOING TO LET YOU... 532 00:17:25,911 --> 00:17:28,212 I'M GIVING YOU PERMISSION THIS TIME 533 00:17:28,313 --> 00:17:29,914 TO POP ME IN THE BACK OF THE... 534 00:17:30,015 --> 00:17:31,582 OOH, JUNIOR. 535 00:17:31,683 --> 00:17:33,384 HA HA HA! 536 00:17:33,485 --> 00:17:34,585 YEAH! 537 00:17:34,686 --> 00:17:35,720 Vanessa: THAT'S MY BABY! 538 00:17:35,821 --> 00:17:36,988 HERE WE... 539 00:17:37,089 --> 00:17:38,800 GET IT, BABY, GET IT, GET IT. NICE AND GOOD. 540 00:17:38,824 --> 00:17:41,392 RIGHT THERE, RIGHT ON THE... HA HA. 541 00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:42,860 HERE WE GO. 542 00:17:42,961 --> 00:17:43,861 AAH! 543 00:17:43,962 --> 00:17:45,163 AAH, I CAN'T DO IT, DAD. 544 00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:46,531 WELL, I CAN. I CAN. 545 00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:48,166 HEY, HEY, DO YOU KNOW 546 00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:50,501 THAT YOU SLEEPING IN MY HOUSE? 547 00:17:50,602 --> 00:17:52,113 HA HA. I'M JUST KIDDING, MR. KYLE. 548 00:17:52,137 --> 00:17:54,939 I'M NOT. OOH, OOH, OOH. 549 00:17:57,476 --> 00:17:59,187 OKAY, I'VE HOOKED UP THE COMPUTER TO THE BIG SCREEN 550 00:17:59,211 --> 00:18:00,555 SO WE CAN WATCH THE ONLINE DOWNLOAD 551 00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:01,746 ON THE SATELLITE UPLINK. 552 00:18:01,847 --> 00:18:03,792 YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET ALL THAT FANCY-SCHMANCY TALK 553 00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:05,516 AND LET'S TURN THE THING ON, KID. 554 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,352 [ APPLAUSE ] 555 00:18:08,454 --> 00:18:10,165 YOUR DAD CAME BY AGAIN TODAY 556 00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:11,823 ASKING FOR SOME MONEY. 557 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,191 NOT AGAIN. 558 00:18:13,292 --> 00:18:15,426 HE OUGHT TO BE HAPPY I LET HIM 559 00:18:15,527 --> 00:18:16,838 AND HIS BIG HEAD LIVE IN THE GARAGE 560 00:18:16,862 --> 00:18:18,496 [ ALL LAUGHING ] 561 00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:21,332 HEY, SON. I GOT A QUESTION FOR YOU. 562 00:18:25,237 --> 00:18:27,705 I GOT A BOOK FOR MY GRANDBABY. 563 00:18:27,806 --> 00:18:30,141 HE'S ONLY 3 MONTHS OLD. HE CAN'T READ. 564 00:18:30,242 --> 00:18:32,743 IT DOESN'T MATTER. THE BOOK'S IN SPANISH. 565 00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:34,345 YOU SURE ARE DUMB. 566 00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:35,746 OW! 567 00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:38,216 WELL, LET ME GET RIGHT TO THE POINT. 568 00:18:38,317 --> 00:18:40,318 I NEED SOME MONEY. 569 00:18:40,419 --> 00:18:41,919 YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY. 570 00:18:42,020 --> 00:18:44,155 WHY NOT? WE GOT PLENTY OF MONEY. 571 00:18:44,256 --> 00:18:45,389 WE'RE RICH. 572 00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:46,931 NO, DAD, I'VE GOT MONEY. 573 00:18:46,992 --> 00:18:48,392 YOU'RE BROKE. 574 00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:49,974 Michael: OH, NO. LOOK AT THAT. 575 00:18:50,028 --> 00:18:52,730 Woman: WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS KITCHEN? 576 00:18:52,831 --> 00:18:54,732 OH, LORD, HERE COME YOUR MAMA. 577 00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:55,833 HOLD ON! 578 00:18:58,103 --> 00:19:00,805 RUFUS IS STUCK AGAIN. 579 00:19:00,906 --> 00:19:02,340 [ ALL LAUGHING ] 580 00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:04,319 WHEN ARE YOU TWO GOING TO MOVE OUT 581 00:19:04,343 --> 00:19:06,177 AND GET A PLACE OF YOUR OWN? 582 00:19:06,278 --> 00:19:09,313 WHEN YOU SAY "YOU TWO," DO YOU MEAN ME AND YOUR MOM, 583 00:19:09,414 --> 00:19:12,216 AND DO YOU MEAN ME AND YOUR MAMA'S BUTT? 584 00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:14,585 OH, I GOT YOUR BUTT, ALL RIGHT. 585 00:19:14,686 --> 00:19:17,188 I KNOW YOU DO. YOU BETTER BRING IT UP WITH HIM, WOMAN. 586 00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:23,194 OH, MAN. THIS IS GREAT STUFF. 587 00:19:23,295 --> 00:19:25,096 YEAH, THAT'S GREAT STUFF. 588 00:19:25,197 --> 00:19:26,731 SO WHAT DO YOU THINK, MAMA? 589 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:27,965 UH... 590 00:19:28,066 --> 00:19:30,668 IT'S FUNNY, NO BUTS ABOUT THAT. 591 00:19:30,769 --> 00:19:31,936 SO DO YOU FORGIVE ME? 592 00:19:32,037 --> 00:19:33,371 OF COURSE I DO, JUNIOR, 593 00:19:33,472 --> 00:19:35,016 AND I WISH YOU NOTHING BUT THE BEST. 594 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:36,941 OH, THANK YOU. SO DOES RUFUS. 595 00:19:37,042 --> 00:19:38,075 OH, THANKS, MAN. 596 00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,554 [ As Rufus ] YOU'RE WELCOME. 597 00:19:39,578 --> 00:19:41,145 [ ALL LAUGH ] 598 00:19:41,246 --> 00:19:42,857 OH, SO WHAT ABOUT YOU, DAD? WHAT DO YOU THINK? 599 00:19:42,881 --> 00:19:45,349 SON, I THINK YOU HAVE A BIG HIT ON YOUR HANDS. 600 00:19:45,450 --> 00:19:46,984 REALLY? YEP. 601 00:19:47,085 --> 00:19:48,719 WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? NOTHING. 602 00:19:48,820 --> 00:19:50,098 YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO HIT THE SWEET SPOT? 603 00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:50,988 NO, HEY, HEY. 604 00:19:51,089 --> 00:19:52,857 COME HERE. I'M PROUD OF YOU, BOY. 605 00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:54,926 OH, THANK YOU, DAD. 606 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,727 HA HA HA. 607 00:19:56,828 --> 00:19:59,263 "TOON" IS ACTUALLY A SIMILE. 608 00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:01,265 I'M ONTO SOMETHING HERE. OKAY. 609 00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:03,434 NOW, "TOON" IS THE OTHER WORD 610 00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:05,603 IN "CARTOON," RIGHT? 611 00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:07,939 "TOON"... HA HA. 612 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,540 OKAY. 613 00:20:09,641 --> 00:20:13,644 AND TUNE IN TO THEIR THOUGHT PROCESS, HENCE... 614 00:20:13,745 --> 00:20:15,713 HA HA HA. 39966

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