Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,333 --> 00:00:05,216
Oh, I love game night.
Everybody has so much fun.
2
00:00:05,216 --> 00:00:06,467
This is a great way
3
00:00:06,467 --> 00:00:09,050
To bring calvin and jasmine
into the family.
4
00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:12,343
You know the problem with
bringing calvin and jasmine
into the family?
5
00:00:12,343 --> 00:00:14,635
Is they become
part of the family.
6
00:00:14,635 --> 00:00:16,847
They are not that bad.
Now stop it.
7
00:00:16,847 --> 00:00:18,639
Plus you love
these game nights.
8
00:00:18,639 --> 00:00:20,771
No, I love you,
and I do them for you.
9
00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:22,443
It's like going
to the dentist.
10
00:00:22,443 --> 00:00:24,065
I know it's gonna be painful,
11
00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:26,026
But in the end,
they give you a lollipop.
12
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,858
You know why they give you
the lollipop?
13
00:00:27,858 --> 00:00:30,241
So you can rot your teeth
out, and you can go back.
14
00:00:30,241 --> 00:00:32,913
So you don't let them get that
cotton ball stuck in your mouth.
15
00:00:32,913 --> 00:00:34,455
It'll be in there
for three weeks,
16
00:00:34,455 --> 00:00:36,367
And you'll be like,
"what's stinking?"
17
00:00:36,367 --> 00:00:38,419
[ Sniffing ] you know
what's stinking?
18
00:00:38,419 --> 00:00:40,211
You, jay.
You be stinking.
19
00:00:40,211 --> 00:00:42,373
What does this have
to do with calvin?
20
00:00:42,373 --> 00:00:45,086
I don't know, but
my tooth's starting to hurt.
21
00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:48,509
All I'm saying is only an idiot
would love this game night.
22
00:00:48,509 --> 00:00:50,551
I love game night!
23
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:53,224
We are ready to part-ay!
24
00:00:53,224 --> 00:00:55,556
He's ready to party,
and I'm ready to pop.
25
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,138
But you look so pretty!
26
00:00:57,138 --> 00:00:59,680
Right, I look like
a brontosaurus in a dress.
27
00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:02,103
You are the cutest dinosaur
in town, baby.
28
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:04,105
Is that supposed to be
a compliment?
29
00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:06,607
Only if you like it,
because I love you.
30
00:01:06,607 --> 00:01:08,779
Oh, well,
I love you, too!
31
00:01:08,779 --> 00:01:09,990
Okay.
32
00:01:09,990 --> 00:01:11,322
All right,
cut it out.
33
00:01:11,322 --> 00:01:14,115
Help take these hors d'oeuvres
into the living room.
34
00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:16,327
Oh, boy, pigs in a blanket --
my favorite.
35
00:01:16,327 --> 00:01:17,368
Hey, baby...
36
00:01:17,368 --> 00:01:20,161
What does
that remind you of?
37
00:01:20,161 --> 00:01:21,332
You.
38
00:01:21,332 --> 00:01:23,374
I'll be back,
wobbles.
39
00:01:23,374 --> 00:01:26,337
I will never eat
one of those again.
40
00:01:26,337 --> 00:01:28,969
Oh, I'm so ready
to have this baby.
41
00:01:28,969 --> 00:01:30,381
Yeah,
we can't wait either.
42
00:01:30,381 --> 00:01:31,382
Can I say "hello"?
43
00:01:31,382 --> 00:01:32,383
Be my guest.
44
00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:33,674
[ Baby-talking ]
45
00:01:33,674 --> 00:01:34,805
Ow, he kicked me!
46
00:01:34,805 --> 00:01:36,767
Ooh, I want
to get kicked, too!
47
00:01:36,767 --> 00:01:37,928
Not by you. The baby.
48
00:01:37,928 --> 00:01:40,221
There's been
a lot of kicking lately.
49
00:01:40,221 --> 00:01:42,723
Go ahead, kick grandma.
Kick grandma.
50
00:01:42,723 --> 00:01:45,025
Oh, wow, I felt it.
51
00:01:45,025 --> 00:01:46,607
It's so cute.
52
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:49,320
We got a regular little
kung-fu fighter in there.
53
00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:51,282
Get ready
for "womb raider."
54
00:01:51,282 --> 00:01:52,993
Get it?
55
00:01:52,993 --> 00:01:56,327
"I want to kick
my way out of here."
56
00:01:56,327 --> 00:01:58,829
Oh, god, I hope
it opens this friday,
57
00:01:58,829 --> 00:02:01,912
'Cause I'm ready for it
to...karate-chop its way
58
00:02:01,912 --> 00:02:02,953
On out of here.
59
00:02:02,953 --> 00:02:04,205
Oh, yeah, laugh.
60
00:02:04,205 --> 00:02:06,167
After I set her up,
it's funny now.
61
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:07,958
Don't worry.
It'll happen soon.
62
00:02:07,958 --> 00:02:08,959
Go on in there.
63
00:02:08,959 --> 00:02:09,960
[ Doorbell rings ]
64
00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:11,051
Claire:
I'll get it.
65
00:02:13,344 --> 00:02:14,675
Hi, tony.
66
00:02:14,675 --> 00:02:17,348
Hi.
Whoo! Whoo!
67
00:02:17,348 --> 00:02:18,138
Whoo-hoo!
68
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,890
Where are you
coming from?
69
00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:21,141
I just saw "the passion."
70
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,224
Again?
How many times is that?
71
00:02:23,224 --> 00:02:24,685
11.
72
00:02:24,685 --> 00:02:27,318
You must really
have a passion for it.
73
00:02:27,318 --> 00:02:29,109
[ Chuckles ]
74
00:02:29,109 --> 00:02:31,071
Wow.
Okay, try this.
75
00:02:31,071 --> 00:02:34,575
I like it, but it's
not as good as the book.
76
00:02:34,575 --> 00:02:36,327
[ All laughing ]
77
00:02:36,327 --> 00:02:37,908
That's funny.
78
00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:40,661
I set that joke up.
79
00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:44,495
Whoo! Whoo!
80
00:02:44,495 --> 00:02:47,338
So, where's
your folks at?
81
00:02:47,338 --> 00:02:48,589
Probably lost.
82
00:02:48,589 --> 00:02:50,341
My father refuses to ask
for directions.
83
00:02:50,341 --> 00:02:52,343
I don't know
why he needs directions.
84
00:02:52,343 --> 00:02:55,175
He can easily be diverted
by a bacon truck.
85
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,348
I've never seen
a bacon truck before.
86
00:02:57,348 --> 00:03:00,761
Neither has he, but he
thinks if he takes a different
route, he might find one.
87
00:03:00,761 --> 00:03:03,103
Then he gets lost, and
he won't ask for directions.
88
00:03:03,103 --> 00:03:05,356
[ Doorbell rings ]
89
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,688
Hey, guys.
90
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,109
Sorry we're late.
91
00:03:09,109 --> 00:03:11,272
Calvin thought
he saw a bacon truck.
92
00:03:11,272 --> 00:03:12,693
We ended up
in new jersey.
93
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,815
Here's half a box
of wine for you.
94
00:03:14,815 --> 00:03:15,986
A half a box?
95
00:03:15,986 --> 00:03:17,908
Hey, look at the vintage --
friday.
96
00:03:17,908 --> 00:03:19,740
Yeah.
97
00:03:19,740 --> 00:03:21,081
Hi, everybody.
98
00:03:21,081 --> 00:03:23,163
Hi, jasmine. Hi, calvin.
Have a seat.
99
00:03:23,163 --> 00:03:24,325
Hey, baby girl.
100
00:03:24,325 --> 00:03:25,496
[ Smooches ]
101
00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:26,497
How you feeling?
102
00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:27,788
Fat.
103
00:03:27,788 --> 00:03:30,210
Fat? You're not even
half as big as your mom.
104
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,542
Cal-cal!
105
00:03:31,542 --> 00:03:34,885
Now, you know I lost all
my baby fat after I had vanessa.
106
00:03:34,885 --> 00:03:37,468
If you look behind you,
you'll find it.
107
00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:38,929
Okay, okay.
108
00:03:38,929 --> 00:03:41,512
Now that we're all here,
let the games begin.
109
00:03:41,512 --> 00:03:42,803
Yeah! Yeah!
110
00:03:42,803 --> 00:03:44,144
Yeah!
111
00:03:44,144 --> 00:03:45,846
Whoo!
112
00:03:45,846 --> 00:03:47,057
All right, calvin.
113
00:03:47,057 --> 00:03:49,189
You're gonna need
a big roll to beat me.
114
00:03:49,189 --> 00:03:51,312
Give me them dice,
'cause I'm gonna beat you.
115
00:03:51,312 --> 00:03:53,274
I'm gonna show you
how to do it here.
116
00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:55,446
All right,
we don't have all day.
117
00:03:55,446 --> 00:03:57,738
It's my turn!
I'll roll 'em the way I want!
118
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,239
Yes, you will.
119
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:02,783
Listen here, dice, if you want
to see the sunrise tomorrow,
120
00:04:02,783 --> 00:04:04,325
You better not come out.
121
00:04:04,325 --> 00:04:05,536
Lucky double sixes.
122
00:04:05,536 --> 00:04:07,498
He's threatening
the dice, jay.
123
00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:09,370
Come on, daddy,
just roll.
124
00:04:09,370 --> 00:04:11,542
Come on, calvin,
everybody waiting now.
125
00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:12,713
All right.
126
00:04:12,713 --> 00:04:14,465
Lucky
double sixes!
127
00:04:14,465 --> 00:04:15,546
Oh!
128
00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:17,928
[ Coughing, sneezing ]
129
00:04:20,220 --> 00:04:22,262
He pulverized
the dice, jay.
130
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,554
The man
pulverized the dice.
131
00:04:23,554 --> 00:04:25,145
I'm kinda hard on dice.
132
00:04:25,145 --> 00:04:27,438
You should've got
the steel kind.
133
00:04:27,438 --> 00:04:28,559
We need steel dice.
134
00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:31,562
Put that on the list
with a half a box of wine
135
00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:33,444
So we can have a full box.
136
00:04:33,444 --> 00:04:35,446
Calvin, it's your turn
to spin the arrow.
137
00:04:35,446 --> 00:04:37,988
Let me just get
my spin finger ready.
138
00:04:37,988 --> 00:04:40,321
Okay, now, you know
what color we want.
139
00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:41,612
We want blue.
140
00:04:41,612 --> 00:04:44,745
Now, you better get blue,
or I'm gonna break you.
141
00:04:44,745 --> 00:04:46,957
He's threatening
his finger, jay.
142
00:04:46,957 --> 00:04:48,539
Better his finger
than you.
143
00:04:48,539 --> 00:04:51,211
You better spin right, or I'm
gonna put you in the hole.
144
00:04:51,211 --> 00:04:52,333
What hole?
145
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:54,084
I don't know.
146
00:04:55,626 --> 00:04:57,678
Now, touch his head
for good luck.
147
00:04:57,678 --> 00:05:01,301
Has he been
in the hole today?
148
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,724
Not since I can remember.
149
00:05:03,724 --> 00:05:05,726
[ Laughs ]
150
00:05:05,726 --> 00:05:07,388
Psych!
151
00:05:07,388 --> 00:05:09,810
Okay, here we go.
Line her up.
152
00:05:12,192 --> 00:05:13,774
Here we go.
153
00:05:13,774 --> 00:05:14,935
Oh!
154
00:05:14,935 --> 00:05:16,106
Ooh!
155
00:05:25,285 --> 00:05:28,328
All right, we're down
to our last board game.
156
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,410
It's your turn.
157
00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:30,581
Okay,
let me line her up.
158
00:05:30,581 --> 00:05:31,582
Here we go.
159
00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:34,294
All right.
160
00:05:34,294 --> 00:05:35,716
Oh!
161
00:05:35,716 --> 00:05:37,458
Whoopsie daisy!
162
00:05:37,458 --> 00:05:38,879
[ Laughs ]
163
00:05:38,879 --> 00:05:40,511
Okay.
164
00:05:40,511 --> 00:05:44,675
Let's play something that
calvin can't break or eat.
165
00:05:44,675 --> 00:05:45,926
Like what?
166
00:05:45,926 --> 00:05:47,518
Oh, I know.
167
00:05:47,518 --> 00:05:50,100
We can play that twister
with all the bright colors.
168
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,812
[ All screaming ]
169
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,565
Get up off my stuff.
170
00:05:54,565 --> 00:05:57,187
Let's forget games.
Let's just communicate.
171
00:05:57,187 --> 00:06:00,441
We can just sit here and
get to know one another, okay?
172
00:06:00,441 --> 00:06:02,483
How's that?
Okay.
173
00:06:08,078 --> 00:06:09,490
[ Chuckling ]
174
00:06:09,490 --> 00:06:12,082
[ Clears throat,
whistles ]
175
00:06:13,664 --> 00:06:15,546
Hey, this is fun,
huh?
176
00:06:15,546 --> 00:06:17,838
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
177
00:06:17,838 --> 00:06:20,631
Oh, did you guys
hear about --
178
00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:21,842
What, what,
what?
179
00:06:21,842 --> 00:06:24,425
No, I told y'all
that one already.
180
00:06:24,425 --> 00:06:26,887
[ All sigh ]
181
00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:30,811
I know, there was a...
182
00:06:30,811 --> 00:06:32,683
No, she told you
that one already.
183
00:06:35,776 --> 00:06:39,109
Did you know that if string
theory actually proves true,
184
00:06:39,109 --> 00:06:42,402
It could have interesting
ramifications for...
185
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:45,075
Why did I even start talking?
186
00:06:45,075 --> 00:06:48,529
So, what did moses say
to the burning bush?
187
00:06:49,990 --> 00:06:53,834
Nothing. The bush did
all the talking! [ Laughs ]
188
00:06:53,834 --> 00:06:57,167
Read your bibles.
Go to church. Good night.
189
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:59,039
That's 'cause
I didn't set him up.
190
00:06:59,039 --> 00:07:01,381
You're nothing without
a set-up man. Pbht!
191
00:07:01,381 --> 00:07:02,803
Hey, you know what?
192
00:07:02,803 --> 00:07:04,675
This talking stuff
ain't working.
193
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:06,807
Why don't we play
"what do you know?"
194
00:07:06,807 --> 00:07:07,928
Oh, yeah.
195
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,139
About what?
196
00:07:09,139 --> 00:07:11,431
No, that's the name
of the game.
197
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,053
Yeah, and I said
"about what?"
198
00:07:13,053 --> 00:07:14,314
Like what?
199
00:07:14,314 --> 00:07:16,477
Let me slow it down
for you.
200
00:07:16,477 --> 00:07:21,862
The name of the game
that I want to play
201
00:07:21,862 --> 00:07:29,570
Is called "what do you know?"
202
00:07:29,570 --> 00:07:38,709
And I said,
"about what?"
203
00:07:43,584 --> 00:07:46,386
I know this game, cal-cal.
It's fun.
204
00:07:46,386 --> 00:07:48,258
Yeah.
Here's how you play.
205
00:07:48,258 --> 00:07:50,641
Everybody writes down
questions about themselves
206
00:07:50,641 --> 00:07:52,643
They think
their partner should know.
207
00:07:52,643 --> 00:07:55,395
Whoever gets the most
questions right wins.
208
00:07:55,395 --> 00:07:58,058
Let's play 'cause
we're gonna kick some butt!
209
00:07:58,058 --> 00:08:00,310
What, what?!
Huh!
210
00:08:00,310 --> 00:08:02,903
First the women are gonna
ask the question to the men.
211
00:08:02,903 --> 00:08:04,444
All right, baby,
come on.
212
00:08:04,444 --> 00:08:06,947
Let's show them how we do it
here up in connecticut.
213
00:08:06,947 --> 00:08:10,370
That's right.
We got 19 years on y'all.
214
00:08:10,370 --> 00:08:13,073
Mental telepathy going on.
Y'all can't beat us.
215
00:08:13,073 --> 00:08:14,374
Let's telepathize.
216
00:08:14,374 --> 00:08:17,247
What's the anniversary
of our first date?
217
00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:19,329
Huh?
218
00:08:19,329 --> 00:08:20,621
Um...
219
00:08:20,621 --> 00:08:22,292
Huh?
220
00:08:22,292 --> 00:08:23,584
Uh...
221
00:08:23,584 --> 00:08:25,676
Come on, michael.
Look me in the eye.
222
00:08:25,676 --> 00:08:27,297
You mean the first time
223
00:08:27,297 --> 00:08:30,300
That you and I went out
on a date, right?
224
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,341
The date of the date!
225
00:08:31,341 --> 00:08:32,893
Would you just tell them
the date?
226
00:08:32,893 --> 00:08:34,134
Got it.
227
00:08:34,134 --> 00:08:43,854
It's, uh, jun...ly...
Uary...ember...arch...
228
00:08:43,854 --> 00:08:47,858
Thirtee...ieth?
229
00:08:47,858 --> 00:08:49,570
No, michael, it's april 3.
230
00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:52,492
I can't believe you!
How could you not get that?!
231
00:08:52,492 --> 00:08:53,533
Oh, april 3rd.
232
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:54,575
Okay, so we got one.
233
00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:55,826
No, we didn't.
234
00:08:55,826 --> 00:08:57,658
I don't understand this.
235
00:08:57,658 --> 00:09:00,000
I really don't
even understand this.
236
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:05,085
I'm feeling this really weird
energy over in this area.
237
00:09:05,085 --> 00:09:09,009
Why don't someone else go so
we can feng shui the room again?
238
00:09:09,009 --> 00:09:10,671
I'll go.
239
00:09:10,671 --> 00:09:13,634
Go ahead, baby.
Let's show them how it's done.
240
00:09:13,634 --> 00:09:15,175
Oh, yes!
241
00:09:15,175 --> 00:09:20,440
How much time did I do
when I beat up that meter maid?
242
00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:23,273
Oh, let's see,
that's an easy one.
243
00:09:23,273 --> 00:09:27,187
Let's see, that was -- that
was the third time that month.
244
00:09:27,187 --> 00:09:29,189
You beat her with that meter.
245
00:09:29,189 --> 00:09:30,450
[ Both laugh ]
246
00:09:30,450 --> 00:09:32,152
That was 30 days.
247
00:09:35,245 --> 00:09:38,999
[ Laughs ] I guess I was too
busy picking up the change.
248
00:09:38,999 --> 00:09:42,412
Well, in any event,
you got the question wrong,
249
00:09:42,412 --> 00:09:44,625
So now it's our turn.
250
00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:46,296
All right.
251
00:09:46,296 --> 00:09:48,759
What do I cook better
than anything else?
252
00:09:48,759 --> 00:09:51,632
That's a trick question because
you don't cook anything good.
253
00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:52,803
Tony!
254
00:09:52,803 --> 00:09:55,305
Good answer.
255
00:09:55,305 --> 00:09:59,640
Uh, okay, well, it's either
boiled water or ice.
256
00:10:00,851 --> 00:10:03,063
And your ice is kind of
always runny,
257
00:10:03,063 --> 00:10:05,726
So I'm gonna go with steam.
258
00:10:05,726 --> 00:10:07,688
Steam, yes, good answer,
good answer.
259
00:10:07,688 --> 00:10:08,689
Good answer.
260
00:10:08,689 --> 00:10:10,150
My best dish
261
00:10:10,150 --> 00:10:11,692
Is peanut-butter-and-jelly
sandwiches.
262
00:10:11,692 --> 00:10:12,823
I made you one yesterday.
263
00:10:12,823 --> 00:10:14,785
Is that what that was?
264
00:10:14,785 --> 00:10:16,576
I thought that was tuna.
265
00:10:16,576 --> 00:10:17,577
Shut up!
266
00:10:17,577 --> 00:10:19,660
I'm sorry.
Thought it was tuna.
267
00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:20,871
Kady:
our turn, franklin.
268
00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:23,043
Which one of
the powerpuff girls --
269
00:10:23,043 --> 00:10:26,296
Oh, lord, lord, lordy, lord.
270
00:10:26,296 --> 00:10:29,549
Which one of the powerpuff girls
is my favorite?
271
00:10:29,549 --> 00:10:31,551
Barney?
272
00:10:31,551 --> 00:10:33,553
Barney's not a girl.
273
00:10:33,553 --> 00:10:35,676
Is it pinky?
274
00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:36,807
No.
275
00:10:36,807 --> 00:10:38,759
Wait -- trixie?
276
00:10:38,759 --> 00:10:40,390
No.
277
00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:43,603
Twinkie? Lucky? Sticky?
278
00:10:43,603 --> 00:10:45,645
No, no, no, no, no!
279
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,607
Three strikes,
and you're out.
280
00:10:47,607 --> 00:10:49,900
It's our turn. Let's show
them how it's done.
281
00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:51,692
All for you, baby.
Fire away.
282
00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:53,323
Come on, junior.
283
00:10:53,323 --> 00:10:54,614
All right.
284
00:10:54,614 --> 00:10:57,117
What is my favorite
yogurt flavor?
285
00:10:57,117 --> 00:10:59,740
Oh, mm-hmm, yeah.
286
00:10:59,740 --> 00:11:00,741
Seven.
287
00:11:00,741 --> 00:11:02,492
Seven?
288
00:11:02,492 --> 00:11:03,744
[ Laughs ]
289
00:11:03,744 --> 00:11:06,666
No, the answer
is strawberry.
290
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,418
Damn!
Only missed it by one.
291
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:09,840
Ow!
292
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,213
Well, this is fun, huh?
293
00:11:13,213 --> 00:11:14,885
Let's just start round two,
294
00:11:14,885 --> 00:11:17,758
And this time you
better get this one right.
295
00:11:17,758 --> 00:11:18,969
Yes, ma'am.
296
00:11:20,971 --> 00:11:22,142
This is the last one.
297
00:11:22,142 --> 00:11:24,104
Let's see if you
can redeem yourself
298
00:11:24,104 --> 00:11:25,856
On behalf
of your entire gender.
299
00:11:25,856 --> 00:11:28,108
Come on,
do it for us.
300
00:11:28,108 --> 00:11:30,941
This time, I'm not gonna use
the telepathy thing
301
00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:33,193
Because you're throwing
my energy off.
302
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:36,116
I'm just gonna go with my gut,
what I know in here.
303
00:11:36,116 --> 00:11:38,618
Fine.
Just get it right.
304
00:11:38,618 --> 00:11:40,580
Ow!
305
00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:43,493
Michael,
what is my dress size?
306
00:11:43,493 --> 00:11:46,036
[ Laughs ]
that's easy.
307
00:11:46,036 --> 00:11:47,377
[ Laughs ]
308
00:11:47,377 --> 00:11:48,498
I got this one.
309
00:11:48,498 --> 00:11:49,880
You
got it?
That's right.
310
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:52,833
I've had my hands on that body
for the past 20 years.
311
00:11:52,833 --> 00:11:56,676
All right, the answer
to your question
312
00:11:56,676 --> 00:11:59,970
Is your dress size
is a six...
313
00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:01,601
Yeah, dad!
Yeah, dad!
314
00:12:01,601 --> 00:12:02,843
...teen!
315
00:12:02,843 --> 00:12:05,015
[ Shrieks ]
a 16?!
316
00:12:05,015 --> 00:12:06,396
That's small.
317
00:12:06,396 --> 00:12:09,019
My neck size is only 16.
318
00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:10,901
Do I look like
a 16 to you?!
319
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,403
Ow!
320
00:12:13,403 --> 00:12:15,946
[ Women screaming ]
321
00:12:15,946 --> 00:12:17,067
I said "16."
322
00:12:21,161 --> 00:12:22,492
[ Whistling ]
323
00:12:27,037 --> 00:12:28,578
What?
324
00:12:28,578 --> 00:12:31,041
Why is everyone looking
at me like this?
325
00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:34,174
I feel such negative energy
over he--
326
00:12:34,174 --> 00:12:35,796
Just everywhere.
327
00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:39,049
You had to play
that stupid game.
328
00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:42,642
Yeah, it was your idea,
and now they're all mad at us.
329
00:12:42,642 --> 00:12:45,055
We should've played
"what don't you know?"
We could've won that.
330
00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:48,809
Look, guys, look, look, this
is a minor setback, okay?
331
00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:52,102
They're women, so they're
having an emotional reaction.
332
00:12:52,102 --> 00:12:54,394
That's what women do.
They get emotional.
333
00:12:54,394 --> 00:12:57,157
[ Voice breaking ] I can't
believe I lost claire!
334
00:12:57,157 --> 00:12:59,199
How am I gonna get
her back?!
335
00:12:59,199 --> 00:13:02,322
Well, first you got to take
your little g-string off
336
00:13:02,322 --> 00:13:04,164
And man up.
337
00:13:04,164 --> 00:13:06,076
I wear briefs.
338
00:13:06,076 --> 00:13:07,958
[ Sobs ]
339
00:13:07,958 --> 00:13:10,620
Look, there's a logical
approach to fixing this.
340
00:13:10,620 --> 00:13:13,213
All you have to do
is go reason with them.
341
00:13:13,213 --> 00:13:14,044
You better do something.
342
00:13:14,044 --> 00:13:15,375
Before this game,
343
00:13:15,375 --> 00:13:17,337
I thought jasmine was ready
for some action.
344
00:13:17,337 --> 00:13:19,799
She already had a half a box
of wine in her.
345
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:24,134
Guys, guys, look,
I can fix this, okay?
346
00:13:24,134 --> 00:13:25,926
I'm the female repairman.
347
00:13:25,926 --> 00:13:27,267
You better be
348
00:13:27,267 --> 00:13:29,269
Because I'm gonna be cuddling
with somebody tonight.
349
00:13:29,269 --> 00:13:30,981
And if it ain't jasmine...
350
00:13:37,027 --> 00:13:38,108
Ew!
351
00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:41,111
Ew!
352
00:13:41,111 --> 00:13:43,823
Can you believe that man said
I wore a size 16?
353
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,155
A size 16?
354
00:13:45,155 --> 00:13:48,208
Do you know what a size 16
looks like on little, old me?
355
00:13:48,208 --> 00:13:50,040
A circus tent with arm holes!
356
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:51,501
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
357
00:13:51,501 --> 00:13:53,163
Can you believe a man
358
00:13:53,163 --> 00:13:56,626
Wouldn't know how much time
his wife spent in jail?
359
00:13:56,626 --> 00:13:58,298
Yeah,
that's unbelievable.
360
00:13:58,298 --> 00:13:59,719
Unbelievable.
361
00:13:59,719 --> 00:14:01,131
What's more unbelievable
362
00:14:01,131 --> 00:14:03,423
Is that none of them
know anything about us.
363
00:14:03,423 --> 00:14:04,634
I hate men.
364
00:14:04,634 --> 00:14:06,846
Yeah,
except michael jordan.
365
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,308
And justin timberlake.
366
00:14:08,308 --> 00:14:09,349
And the rock.
367
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,061
And bow wow.
368
00:14:11,061 --> 00:14:12,062
And ike turner.
369
00:14:15,065 --> 00:14:16,066
What?
370
00:14:16,066 --> 00:14:19,940
All I know is I've never been
so angry, so hurt,
371
00:14:19,940 --> 00:14:22,782
So disgusted
in all my entire life!
372
00:14:22,782 --> 00:14:24,284
Hello, ladies.
373
00:14:24,284 --> 00:14:25,575
Together:
get out!
374
00:14:25,575 --> 00:14:29,079
Boy, I am sensing a lot
of negativity and hostility
375
00:14:29,079 --> 00:14:30,450
In this building.
376
00:14:30,450 --> 00:14:33,123
I know you guys
are angry, hurt, and disgusted
377
00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:36,496
Probably more than you've
ever been in your entire lives,
378
00:14:36,496 --> 00:14:39,129
But I am here to make
this situation right.
379
00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:40,880
Together: get out!
Oh, negativity.
380
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,843
Even down here,
I feel negative energy.
381
00:14:43,843 --> 00:14:46,886
Michael, there is nothing you
could say to take this back.
382
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,058
You don't know me.
383
00:14:48,058 --> 00:14:49,970
In fact, none of you
know any of us.
384
00:14:49,970 --> 00:14:51,851
Okay, fine,
but do you know what?
385
00:14:51,851 --> 00:14:54,064
We haven't finished
playing that game,
386
00:14:54,064 --> 00:14:56,776
So how do we know that y'all
know anything about us?
387
00:14:56,776 --> 00:14:58,188
He does have a point.
388
00:14:58,188 --> 00:15:01,281
It's true.
We never had our turn.
389
00:15:01,281 --> 00:15:03,323
You're gonna just turn --
okay.
390
00:15:03,323 --> 00:15:04,364
All right, michael.
391
00:15:04,364 --> 00:15:06,196
You just gonna make it worse
392
00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:08,989
'Cause we couldn't possibly
know less about you
393
00:15:08,989 --> 00:15:11,871
Than you know about us
because you know nothing.
394
00:15:11,871 --> 00:15:13,793
Only one way to find out.
395
00:15:13,793 --> 00:15:16,296
The game is in there, ladies.
396
00:15:18,298 --> 00:15:20,130
Calvin: [ laughs ]
here we go.
397
00:15:20,130 --> 00:15:23,803
If I was gonna try to take
the starter off my engine,
398
00:15:23,803 --> 00:15:26,846
What wrench would I use?
[ Laughs ]
399
00:15:26,846 --> 00:15:28,008
The wrong wrench.
400
00:15:28,008 --> 00:15:30,260
Then you'd get mad,
throw it at the engine.
401
00:15:30,260 --> 00:15:32,352
It'd bounce off,
hit you in the head.
402
00:15:32,352 --> 00:15:34,264
You'd come crying to me
as always.
403
00:15:34,264 --> 00:15:35,685
Technically
she's right, mike.
404
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:36,977
No, she's wrong.
405
00:15:36,977 --> 00:15:38,938
The answer was monkey wrench.
406
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,151
All right, tony.
You're up.
407
00:15:41,151 --> 00:15:42,612
Okay.
408
00:15:42,612 --> 00:15:47,237
Claire,
what is my favorite hymn?
409
00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:50,410
Alfonso ribeiro
from "the fresh prince"?
410
00:15:50,410 --> 00:15:52,572
No, he's great...
411
00:15:54,494 --> 00:15:56,916
But I didn't mean h-i-m.
412
00:15:56,916 --> 00:15:59,039
I meant h-y-m-n.
413
00:15:59,039 --> 00:16:01,671
Okay, uh, those
are church songs, right?
414
00:16:03,583 --> 00:16:05,345
Right.
415
00:16:05,345 --> 00:16:07,797
All right, um...
416
00:16:07,797 --> 00:16:10,350
"Hail mary," by tupac?
417
00:16:10,350 --> 00:16:11,891
[ Sighs ] no.
418
00:16:11,891 --> 00:16:15,895
"Shall we gather
by the river?"
419
00:16:17,647 --> 00:16:19,229
Okay.
420
00:16:19,229 --> 00:16:22,602
Well, well, it looks like
not knowing about your mates
421
00:16:22,602 --> 00:16:25,365
Is not just a male thing.
422
00:16:25,365 --> 00:16:26,606
Franklin, you're up.
423
00:16:26,606 --> 00:16:28,408
Our turn, my love.
424
00:16:28,408 --> 00:16:30,200
Just read the question, nerd.
425
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:34,034
Who is my favorite composer?
426
00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:35,285
Oh, I know this one.
427
00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:38,878
It's...
♪ Dum-dum-dum dum ♪
428
00:16:38,878 --> 00:16:39,749
Me?
429
00:16:41,831 --> 00:16:42,882
No, not you.
430
00:16:42,882 --> 00:16:44,214
Oh.
431
00:16:44,214 --> 00:16:46,005
You mean beethoven,
my dear?
432
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,217
Yeah, that's the guy.
433
00:16:47,217 --> 00:16:50,180
Wrong. Teddy riley
and the new jack swing.
434
00:16:50,180 --> 00:16:51,221
Yup, yup!
435
00:16:51,221 --> 00:16:53,303
Ooh, that one hurt.
436
00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:54,224
Yup, yup!
437
00:16:54,224 --> 00:16:57,016
All right, son.
Your turn.
438
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,308
Don't let us down.
439
00:16:58,308 --> 00:17:00,350
Oh, I won't,
of course.
440
00:17:00,350 --> 00:17:01,481
Okay, vanessa.
441
00:17:01,481 --> 00:17:04,064
If porky pig and daffy duck
got into a fight,
442
00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:05,275
Who would win?
443
00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:07,487
The questions are supposed
to be about you.
444
00:17:07,487 --> 00:17:10,110
All right,
I shall rephrase.
445
00:17:10,110 --> 00:17:14,324
If porky pig and daffy duck
got into a fight over me,
446
00:17:14,324 --> 00:17:16,156
Who would win?
447
00:17:16,156 --> 00:17:17,497
[ Laughs ]
448
00:17:17,497 --> 00:17:19,369
All right, that's creepy,
449
00:17:19,369 --> 00:17:21,871
But, uh -- I don't know --
porky pig?
450
00:17:21,871 --> 00:17:24,334
Uh, n-n-n-n-n-n-no!
451
00:17:24,334 --> 00:17:25,585
[ Laughs ]
452
00:17:25,585 --> 00:17:27,377
'Cause, see, daffy duck
can duck,
453
00:17:27,377 --> 00:17:29,839
And porky pig is too fat
to be quick enough
454
00:17:29,839 --> 00:17:31,131
To beat a ducking duck.
455
00:17:31,131 --> 00:17:32,302
All right,
I was wrong.
456
00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:33,433
Yes, you were.
457
00:17:33,433 --> 00:17:39,679
Well, it looks like it's down
to you and me, jay boinski.
458
00:17:39,679 --> 00:17:41,231
That's fine with me.
459
00:17:41,231 --> 00:17:43,393
Because there isn't anything
I don't know about you.
460
00:17:43,393 --> 00:17:45,815
We'll see, shall we?
We'll see.
461
00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:50,320
The question is, on what
date did I first realize
462
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,902
That I was losing my hair?
463
00:17:52,902 --> 00:17:55,325
[ Imitating clock ticking ]
464
00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:56,866
Um...
465
00:17:56,866 --> 00:17:58,458
You must know this one.
466
00:17:58,458 --> 00:18:00,120
Vanessa: jay,
come on.
467
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:01,411
That's a stupid question!
468
00:18:01,411 --> 00:18:02,832
Oh, no, no, no.
469
00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,964
I'm feeling some very
weird vibes and energy
470
00:18:04,964 --> 00:18:06,416
Coming from this way.
471
00:18:06,416 --> 00:18:10,170
Let me point out that this is a
very important date to any man
472
00:18:10,170 --> 00:18:12,712
Who has experienced
a loss of follicles.
473
00:18:12,712 --> 00:18:13,843
Amen!
474
00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:15,305
Let me help you out.
475
00:18:15,305 --> 00:18:17,597
Let me throw you
a little telepathy.
476
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,429
Give me the date.
477
00:18:19,429 --> 00:18:27,527
Jun...ly...uary...arch...
Sept... Ob...uary...
478
00:18:27,527 --> 00:18:34,534
May...pril
nine...ieth...teen?
479
00:18:34,534 --> 00:18:36,496
Wrong!
480
00:18:36,496 --> 00:18:38,448
[ Laughs ]
481
00:18:38,448 --> 00:18:41,371
November 18, 1982.
482
00:18:41,371 --> 00:18:43,333
[ Laughs ]
483
00:18:43,333 --> 00:18:46,166
See, so you don't know
everything about me.
484
00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,507
I guess so.
485
00:18:47,507 --> 00:18:49,419
So, are we forgiven?
486
00:18:49,419 --> 00:18:51,341
I forgive you,
franklin.
487
00:18:51,341 --> 00:18:53,383
I forgive you, junior.
488
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:55,345
I forgive you, tony.
489
00:18:55,345 --> 00:18:57,807
I forgive you,
cal-cal.
490
00:18:57,807 --> 00:18:58,968
[ Laughs ]
491
00:18:58,968 --> 00:19:00,520
Jay?
492
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,472
Um, wait.
493
00:19:02,472 --> 00:19:06,396
I have one more question
to ask you.
494
00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:08,358
Go ahead, ask it.
495
00:19:08,358 --> 00:19:11,070
Okay. Do you think
I should forgive you?
496
00:19:11,070 --> 00:19:13,233
Yes.
497
00:19:13,233 --> 00:19:14,614
Wrong again.
498
00:19:14,614 --> 00:19:17,036
Ow!
499
00:19:17,036 --> 00:19:19,659
Ooh.
500
00:19:25,335 --> 00:19:26,956
I don't understand it.
501
00:19:26,956 --> 00:19:30,089
Everyone else got forgiven,
including franklin,
502
00:19:30,089 --> 00:19:31,421
But you can't forgive me.
503
00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:32,552
Why is that?
504
00:19:32,552 --> 00:19:34,173
Because it kills me
to know
505
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:37,096
That the man that I love
doesn't really know me.
506
00:19:37,096 --> 00:19:40,179
Look, just because I don't know
the exact date we met
507
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,802
Or your dress size or --
what's the other one?
508
00:19:42,802 --> 00:19:44,143
My mother's name.
509
00:19:44,143 --> 00:19:45,395
Yeah, that.
510
00:19:45,395 --> 00:19:48,358
I've been calling her creature
for the past 18 years.
511
00:19:48,358 --> 00:19:49,609
I forgot.
512
00:19:49,609 --> 00:19:52,191
Look, that doesn't mean
that I don't know you.
513
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,483
It just kills me
514
00:19:53,483 --> 00:19:55,865
That you could know
everything there is to know
515
00:19:55,865 --> 00:19:57,777
About basketball,
football, golf,
516
00:19:57,777 --> 00:20:00,870
But when it comes to your wife,
you have momentary lapses.
517
00:20:00,870 --> 00:20:03,823
Fine, but give me credit
for the things I do know.
518
00:20:03,823 --> 00:20:05,285
Like what?
519
00:20:05,285 --> 00:20:09,919
I know that you cry when you
see a beautiful sunset.
520
00:20:09,919 --> 00:20:13,833
And I know that you twist
your hair when you're nervous.
521
00:20:13,833 --> 00:20:17,337
And I know how you feel in
my arms when we dance together.
522
00:20:19,389 --> 00:20:21,601
I know all
the important things.
523
00:20:22,932 --> 00:20:25,014
Can you please forgive me?
524
00:20:26,396 --> 00:20:29,439
Yeah, I can forgive you,
525
00:20:29,439 --> 00:20:32,442
But I still have
one more question.
526
00:20:32,442 --> 00:20:34,524
Okay, I'll try to answer it.
527
00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:35,905
Okay.
528
00:20:35,905 --> 00:20:39,489
Who do I love more than anybody
else in the entire world?
529
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,243
[ Laughs ]
530
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,125
Would that be me?
531
00:20:46,125 --> 00:20:48,077
[ Laughs ]
532
00:20:48,077 --> 00:20:49,999
Yes.
533
00:20:54,083 --> 00:20:56,175
You finally got one right.
534
00:20:56,175 --> 00:20:58,638
[ Laughs ]
535
00:21:00,590 --> 00:21:05,224
The name of the game
that I want to play is
536
00:21:05,224 --> 00:21:13,022
"What do you know?"
537
00:21:13,022 --> 00:21:22,281
And I said "about what?"
538
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:29,288
[ Laughs ]
36474
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.