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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,046 --> 00:00:08,089 Hey, tommy! Cut out all that drum playing! 2 00:00:08,089 --> 00:00:10,261 Tommy: sorry! 3 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:15,136 [ Laughing ] I'm gonna pee! I'm gonna pee! 4 00:00:15,136 --> 00:00:18,399 I'm gonna pee on myself! [ Laughs ] 5 00:00:18,399 --> 00:00:20,691 I'm gonna pee on myself! 6 00:00:20,691 --> 00:00:24,195 Boy, what are you laughing at? 7 00:00:24,195 --> 00:00:26,817 Oh, oh, god. Oh, god -- "growing pains." 8 00:00:26,817 --> 00:00:29,280 Oh, god. It doesn't get any better than this. 9 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:31,031 Man, that alan thicke. 10 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:34,245 Man, you know, he's, like, the richard pryor of our era. 11 00:00:34,245 --> 00:00:37,208 Even his last name is funny -- "thicke"? 12 00:00:37,208 --> 00:00:40,661 [ Laughs ] with an "e"! With an "e"! 13 00:00:40,661 --> 00:00:42,213 With an "e"! [ Laughs ] 14 00:00:42,213 --> 00:00:43,504 You're thick. 15 00:00:43,504 --> 00:00:44,875 No, he's thicke! 16 00:00:44,875 --> 00:00:47,258 ♪ Claire and tony sitting in a tree ♪ 17 00:00:47,258 --> 00:00:49,550 ♪ K-i-s-s-i-n-g ♪ 18 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,632 ♪ First comes love, then comes marriage ♪ 19 00:00:51,632 --> 00:00:53,724 ♪ Then comes claire and the baby carriage ♪ 20 00:00:53,724 --> 00:00:56,557 Oh, yeah? ♪ Little kady, beaten by a tree ♪ 21 00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,809 ♪ Teeth m-i-s-s-i-n-g ♪ 22 00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:00,851 ♪ First comes blood, then comes stitches ♪ 23 00:01:00,851 --> 00:01:02,813 And I'm not rhyming anymore because I'm serious! 24 00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:04,185 [ Screaming ] 25 00:01:04,185 --> 00:01:05,646 Hey, hey, hey! Claire! 26 00:01:05,646 --> 00:01:08,819 Claire, sit down! Sit! I said sit. 27 00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:10,361 And you know what? 28 00:01:10,361 --> 00:01:12,453 I am so sick and tired of all of this yelling, claire. 29 00:01:12,453 --> 00:01:13,904 I wish this house was empty, 30 00:01:13,904 --> 00:01:15,366 And I could pretend to be 16 again. 31 00:01:15,366 --> 00:01:16,367 Why? 32 00:01:16,367 --> 00:01:17,748 Because when I was 16, 33 00:01:17,748 --> 00:01:19,460 The only thing I had to worry about 34 00:01:19,460 --> 00:01:21,832 Was practicing for my career in musical comedy. 35 00:01:21,832 --> 00:01:25,706 ♪ Come on, let's ease on down, ease on down the road ♪ 36 00:01:25,706 --> 00:01:29,550 ♪ Come on, let's ease on down, ease on down the road ♪ 37 00:01:29,550 --> 00:01:31,302 ♪ Don't you carry nothing ♪ 38 00:01:31,302 --> 00:01:32,303 [ Door closes ] 39 00:01:32,303 --> 00:01:33,974 ♪ That might be a load ♪ 40 00:01:33,974 --> 00:01:36,016 ♪ Come on, ease on down, ease on down ♪ 41 00:01:36,016 --> 00:01:37,478 ♪ Ease on down, ease on down ♪ 42 00:01:37,478 --> 00:01:40,100 ♪ Ease on down, down the road ♪ 43 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,353 ♪ Ease on down the road ♪ 44 00:01:42,353 --> 00:01:43,644 Ease on down. 45 00:01:43,644 --> 00:01:45,436 ♪ Ease on down the road ♪ 46 00:01:45,436 --> 00:01:47,067 Get one more out. 47 00:01:47,067 --> 00:01:49,150 ♪ Ease on down the road ♪ 48 00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:50,231 ♪ I said, eee-eee ♪ 49 00:01:50,231 --> 00:01:53,113 ♪ Eee-eee-eee ♪ 50 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,736 ♪ Eee-eee-eee... ♪ 51 00:01:55,736 --> 00:01:57,328 You we-- you weren't in the play. 52 00:01:57,328 --> 00:02:00,331 You was not -- I don't remember you there. 53 00:02:00,331 --> 00:02:02,002 Okay. 54 00:02:02,002 --> 00:02:04,375 But I was close to the stage. I felt like I -- 55 00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:06,507 Yeah, but you wasn't with me on the stage. 56 00:02:06,507 --> 00:02:08,459 That was me. That was my turn to shine. 57 00:02:08,459 --> 00:02:10,211 That was my turn to shine, michael. 58 00:02:10,211 --> 00:02:13,214 What did you do to your mother? 59 00:02:13,214 --> 00:02:15,256 What makes you think I did something? 60 00:02:15,256 --> 00:02:17,558 Because she's easing down the road. 61 00:02:17,558 --> 00:02:19,430 Michael, michael, you saw me in "the wiz." 62 00:02:19,430 --> 00:02:21,392 Michael, that was good. Michael, that was g-- 63 00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:23,103 I was -- I was damn good. 64 00:02:23,103 --> 00:02:25,145 Did you play dorothy? What? 65 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,527 No, I didn't play dorothy. 66 00:02:26,527 --> 00:02:28,229 The good witch? 67 00:02:28,229 --> 00:02:30,731 It's not important who she played. No, I didn't play -- 68 00:02:30,731 --> 00:02:32,112 Auntie em? 69 00:02:32,112 --> 00:02:34,695 No, I wasn't -- I was the house. 70 00:02:34,695 --> 00:02:37,778 I flew in, and I broke that witch in half. 71 00:02:37,778 --> 00:02:39,159 I was the house. 72 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:44,044 She played the house, the front door, the backyard. 73 00:02:44,044 --> 00:02:46,377 She was the window, the lights, all that. 74 00:02:46,377 --> 00:02:48,289 And I was the feet, and I curled it. 75 00:02:48,289 --> 00:02:49,340 I was brilliant. 76 00:02:49,340 --> 00:02:51,672 I was so good. 77 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:54,215 [ Laughing ] the house! That's sad! 78 00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:56,387 Sad? What are you talking about, claire? 79 00:02:56,387 --> 00:02:58,969 I was husky, claire. 80 00:02:58,969 --> 00:03:03,183 I was husky. I made it work for me, okay? 81 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,805 You were great, baby. 82 00:03:04,805 --> 00:03:06,607 You were great. Come here. 83 00:03:06,607 --> 00:03:08,649 No, I don't feel like it. [ Whining ] 84 00:03:08,649 --> 00:03:10,611 What's the matter? 85 00:03:10,611 --> 00:03:12,273 I will tell you what's the matter. 86 00:03:12,273 --> 00:03:15,025 I've been playing referee between these girls all day, 87 00:03:15,025 --> 00:03:17,278 And I got "radio" sitting on my front couch. 88 00:03:17,278 --> 00:03:19,660 [ Laughs hysterically ] 89 00:03:22,583 --> 00:03:23,954 He's off the couch now. 90 00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:25,165 Michael... 91 00:03:25,165 --> 00:03:27,748 This house has turned into grand central station. 92 00:03:27,748 --> 00:03:30,461 We don't get a minute's peace. And it's not just the kids. 93 00:03:30,461 --> 00:03:32,002 Vanessa's parents -- 94 00:03:32,002 --> 00:03:33,964 They made this their second home. 95 00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:36,467 I swear, michael, if I hear calvin say, one more time, 96 00:03:36,467 --> 00:03:38,429 [ Deep voice ] "heh heh heh. 97 00:03:38,429 --> 00:03:40,180 "We was just in the neighborhood. 98 00:03:40,180 --> 00:03:42,473 Hmm. Do I smell bacon?" I'm gonna lose my mind! 99 00:03:42,473 --> 00:03:44,605 Michael, between school, 100 00:03:44,605 --> 00:03:46,687 Part-time job, taking care of this house, 101 00:03:46,687 --> 00:03:48,729 The neighbor's kid banging on that drum, 102 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,731 I'm just going crazy, michael, I swear. 103 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:51,852 I understand. 104 00:03:51,852 --> 00:03:54,064 [ Sighs ] you understand what? 105 00:03:54,064 --> 00:03:56,026 I know. I know. 106 00:03:56,026 --> 00:03:57,318 You know what? 107 00:03:57,318 --> 00:03:59,820 It's that time. 108 00:03:59,820 --> 00:04:02,242 The time for what? 109 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,534 The curse. 110 00:04:03,534 --> 00:04:05,456 What is this wi-- I don't have the curse. 111 00:04:05,456 --> 00:04:07,207 You don't? No. 112 00:04:07,207 --> 00:04:09,540 You sure? Yeah, I'm positive. 113 00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:12,713 Good, because I've booked us in an ocean-view suite 114 00:04:12,713 --> 00:04:14,375 At le chateau monet tonight. 115 00:04:14,375 --> 00:04:16,717 Le chateau monet, the resort and spa? 116 00:04:16,717 --> 00:04:18,339 Oh, my god, michael!! 117 00:04:18,339 --> 00:04:20,381 Wait a minute. How did you get a reservation? 118 00:04:20,381 --> 00:04:22,262 You have to book it six months in advance. 119 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,724 I made a couple of calls. All right? 120 00:04:23,724 --> 00:04:25,476 I knew you were stressed out, 121 00:04:25,476 --> 00:04:27,388 And I wanted to see you unwind. 122 00:04:27,388 --> 00:04:29,059 Oh, michael. 123 00:04:29,059 --> 00:04:31,732 Sometimes you can be such a pain the butt. 124 00:04:31,732 --> 00:04:35,316 You can -- you really, really, really, really, 125 00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:37,157 Really, like, really -- 126 00:04:37,157 --> 00:04:38,449 Get to the compliment. 127 00:04:38,449 --> 00:04:39,570 ...really can. 128 00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:42,363 But, michael, this time you have outdone yourself. 129 00:04:42,363 --> 00:04:44,325 I've always wanted to go to a spa. 130 00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:45,366 Thank you so much. 131 00:04:45,366 --> 00:04:47,207 Thank you. 132 00:04:47,207 --> 00:04:50,040 Figured you could do that house thing to me. 133 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,002 It only works on witches. 134 00:04:53,834 --> 00:04:55,215 I got a broom. 135 00:04:55,215 --> 00:04:57,257 That'll work. That'll work. 136 00:04:57,257 --> 00:04:59,009 [ Squeals, laughs ] 137 00:04:59,009 --> 00:05:00,721 Hey, you sure about the curse? 138 00:05:00,721 --> 00:05:03,474 Yeah, michael. I'm positive. 139 00:05:03,474 --> 00:05:05,886 Okay, I'm just asking. It's a $600 room. 140 00:05:05,886 --> 00:05:08,389 I understand that, michael, but so what if I did? 141 00:05:08,389 --> 00:05:10,891 I mean, couldn't we just spoon? 142 00:05:10,891 --> 00:05:13,313 For $600? 143 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,195 Whatever. 144 00:05:15,195 --> 00:05:18,779 ♪ Come on, let's ease on down, ease on down -- ♪ 145 00:05:18,779 --> 00:05:20,491 ♪ The road ♪ 146 00:05:24,495 --> 00:05:26,617 Baby, you keep spoiling me like this, 147 00:05:26,617 --> 00:05:28,078 You're gonna have to roll me to that spa. 148 00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:30,250 Michael, I still can't believe 149 00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:32,122 You're taking me to le chateau monet. 150 00:05:32,122 --> 00:05:33,624 Le chateau monet? 151 00:05:33,624 --> 00:05:36,256 Hey, has that place been bothering you guys, too? 152 00:05:36,256 --> 00:05:40,050 Oh, boy, what are you talking about? 153 00:05:40,050 --> 00:05:42,222 Oh, no, they called here a week ago, 154 00:05:42,222 --> 00:05:43,674 Asking to speak to michael kyle. 155 00:05:43,674 --> 00:05:45,225 So I told them, "this is michael kyle," 156 00:05:45,225 --> 00:05:47,137 Because that's the name you gave me when I was born, remember? 157 00:05:47,137 --> 00:05:49,890 Yeah, yeah, I remember. Continue. 158 00:05:49,890 --> 00:05:52,022 So, they were calling to confirm a reservation 159 00:05:52,022 --> 00:05:53,353 For saturday night. 160 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,315 Well, I told them I didn't need any reservation 161 00:05:55,315 --> 00:05:56,857 At any chateau monet. 162 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:59,239 I mean, why would I need to stay in a nice, luxurious hotel 163 00:05:59,239 --> 00:06:01,111 When I have a bed in the garage? 164 00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:02,112 You said all that? 165 00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:03,864 I said more. Here's the kicker. 166 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,246 Here's the kicker, baby. We about to get kicked. 167 00:06:06,246 --> 00:06:07,948 Yeah, I'm gonna kick ya. You ready? 168 00:06:07,948 --> 00:06:11,251 Okay, I told them to cancel the reservation -- 169 00:06:11,251 --> 00:06:13,083 No! Cancel the reservation? 170 00:06:13,083 --> 00:06:15,085 Cancel the champag-ne -- 171 00:06:15,085 --> 00:06:16,997 Not the champagne! 172 00:06:16,997 --> 00:06:19,259 Cancel the champag-ne, the double symphony massage -- 173 00:06:19,259 --> 00:06:21,672 I don't get a massage? 174 00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:24,264 And the romantic dinner on the beach with the violinist 175 00:06:24,264 --> 00:06:26,306 Because I don't like no damn violins. 176 00:06:26,306 --> 00:06:27,217 I like violins. 177 00:06:27,217 --> 00:06:28,889 Well, I don't. You know what I like? 178 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,270 I like hip-hop. Ha ha! 179 00:06:30,270 --> 00:06:32,182 And they said they canceled, 180 00:06:32,182 --> 00:06:36,316 But they still have to charge me a $300 cancellation fee? 181 00:06:36,316 --> 00:06:38,779 You know what I told them? I told them, "bring it on, 182 00:06:38,779 --> 00:06:41,151 Because I don't even have a credit card, you dummy!" 183 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:44,364 [ Laughs ] dummy! Ha ha! 184 00:06:44,364 --> 00:06:45,736 Dummy. 185 00:06:45,736 --> 00:06:47,287 Dumm-- 186 00:06:53,203 --> 00:06:55,996 Just go. Go. 187 00:06:59,540 --> 00:07:02,342 Michael, do we need to call the hotel or something? 188 00:07:02,342 --> 00:07:04,004 I'm doing it right now. 189 00:07:04,004 --> 00:07:05,716 Ooh, that boy. Oh, that boy. 190 00:07:05,716 --> 00:07:09,259 Hello? Yeah, this is michael kyle. 191 00:07:09,259 --> 00:07:11,221 [ Chuckling ] there seems to be 192 00:07:11,221 --> 00:07:13,223 A really funny misunderstanding. 193 00:07:13,223 --> 00:07:15,315 See, what hap-- hello? 194 00:07:15,315 --> 00:07:16,727 Hello? 195 00:07:16,727 --> 00:07:19,940 Well, dummy sure made an impression on them. 196 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,562 Thanks for trying, baby. 197 00:07:21,562 --> 00:07:24,525 I really do appreciate your effort anyway, okay? 198 00:07:24,525 --> 00:07:27,908 Some time alone would have been nice. 199 00:07:27,908 --> 00:07:29,870 Sure would have. 200 00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:40,751 Light! 201 00:07:48,509 --> 00:07:50,010 Ouch. 202 00:07:56,857 --> 00:07:58,979 [ Chuckles ] what is all this? 203 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:02,442 [ French accent ] welcome to le chateau monet, 204 00:08:02,442 --> 00:08:07,277 Fromage, chardonnay, bastille, eiffel tower, 205 00:08:07,277 --> 00:08:09,409 French fry de kyle. 206 00:08:09,409 --> 00:08:11,612 A reservation has just opened up 207 00:08:11,612 --> 00:08:14,374 After the children vacated their rooms, 208 00:08:14,374 --> 00:08:17,377 Freeing up the chateau for an evening of fun... 209 00:08:17,377 --> 00:08:19,830 And merriment. 210 00:08:19,830 --> 00:08:22,212 Michael, did you just get rid of the kids? 211 00:08:22,212 --> 00:08:23,213 Oui-oui. 212 00:08:23,213 --> 00:08:24,334 Ooh... 213 00:08:24,334 --> 00:08:26,757 [ Laughs ] 214 00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:28,298 [ Laughs ] 215 00:08:28,298 --> 00:08:33,303 Junior is with, how do you say, ze pregnant girl, 216 00:08:33,303 --> 00:08:36,937 And the other kids are with their grandparents, 217 00:08:36,937 --> 00:08:41,852 Which means, "goodbye, see you later, au revoir. 218 00:08:41,852 --> 00:08:44,314 [ Imitating "the godfather" ] "arrivederci... 219 00:08:44,314 --> 00:08:46,446 [ Japanese accent ] sayonara." 220 00:08:46,446 --> 00:08:50,030 [ French accent ] we are all alone. 221 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:53,323 Now, uh, that must have cost you a pretty penny. 222 00:08:53,323 --> 00:08:55,656 Yes, it was worth every franc. 223 00:08:55,656 --> 00:08:58,749 I mean, how do you put a price on love? 224 00:08:58,749 --> 00:09:03,333 Or as the french say, "on love?" 225 00:09:03,333 --> 00:09:05,085 [ Chuckles ] 226 00:09:05,085 --> 00:09:07,798 Ooh, you are a brilliant man. 227 00:09:07,798 --> 00:09:11,261 And handsome, no, yes, no, little bit cute? 228 00:09:11,261 --> 00:09:14,514 [ French accent ] no, handsome and... 229 00:09:14,514 --> 00:09:19,810 Well, now you shut your face and kiss my mouth. 230 00:09:19,810 --> 00:09:21,812 Mmm. 231 00:09:21,812 --> 00:09:24,354 Wait, I want to kiss you like pepé le pew, 232 00:09:24,354 --> 00:09:26,026 All over the body. 233 00:09:26,026 --> 00:09:27,357 [ Laughs] 234 00:09:27,357 --> 00:09:28,609 Wait a minute. 235 00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:31,281 What is on the agenda tonight, monsieur michel kyle? 236 00:09:31,281 --> 00:09:32,743 That is a good question. 237 00:09:32,743 --> 00:09:34,324 I thought we'd start the evening 238 00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,366 With a nice, romantic dinner. 239 00:09:36,366 --> 00:09:39,079 The oven has a roast presently simmering. 240 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,460 Ooh. 241 00:09:40,460 --> 00:09:42,332 And I turned off all the phones 242 00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:44,584 So that we will not be disturbed 243 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:47,047 While we play a naughty parlor game... 244 00:09:47,047 --> 00:09:49,379 [ Growls ] ...of your choosing. 245 00:09:49,379 --> 00:09:52,472 Perhaps... Knocking ze boots? 246 00:09:52,472 --> 00:09:54,424 [ Laughs ] 247 00:09:54,424 --> 00:09:56,637 [ Normal voice ] do I have time to take a bath? 248 00:09:56,637 --> 00:09:59,389 Yes, you can soak it in a hot tub 249 00:09:59,389 --> 00:10:03,393 Until it rises to the top like little dumplings. 250 00:10:03,393 --> 00:10:06,937 And I will swoop them out with my tongue. 251 00:10:06,937 --> 00:10:09,690 [ Cackles ] 252 00:10:09,690 --> 00:10:12,362 [ Squealing ] I'm gonna take a bath! 253 00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:14,074 Yes, yes, go, go. 254 00:10:14,074 --> 00:10:17,537 In the meantime, I will check my meat. 255 00:10:22,542 --> 00:10:24,665 Oh, dear god. Not the curse. 256 00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:26,957 Not the curse! 257 00:10:26,957 --> 00:10:27,958 Michael! 258 00:10:27,958 --> 00:10:29,169 What's wrong? 259 00:10:29,169 --> 00:10:30,801 Michael, I can't turn this thing off! 260 00:10:30,801 --> 00:10:33,013 Oh, that's all? I thought you had the curse. 261 00:10:33,013 --> 00:10:34,464 No, I think this thing is cursed. 262 00:10:34,464 --> 00:10:36,757 The faucet is broke. The stopper won't -- 263 00:10:36,757 --> 00:10:38,138 Let me try. 264 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,469 Let me try. Let me try. 265 00:10:39,469 --> 00:10:41,431 Whoops. You're right. 266 00:10:41,431 --> 00:10:43,563 Michael, in a few minutes, we're gonna be flooded. 267 00:10:43,563 --> 00:10:46,106 Can you go down to the backyard and turn off the main valve? 268 00:10:46,106 --> 00:10:47,317 Right -- here. 269 00:10:47,317 --> 00:10:48,819 By the way... 270 00:10:48,819 --> 00:10:51,361 You look beautiful. 271 00:10:51,361 --> 00:10:54,484 Really? Thank you. 272 00:10:54,484 --> 00:10:55,696 Now go! 273 00:11:03,834 --> 00:11:05,415 [ Grunts ] there. 274 00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,127 Ow! 275 00:11:07,127 --> 00:11:08,548 Ohh! 276 00:11:08,548 --> 00:11:12,002 Ah -- aah. Ooh. 277 00:11:19,009 --> 00:11:20,931 Ooh! Michael. 278 00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:23,513 Aah! Michael. 279 00:11:23,513 --> 00:11:25,395 Eee! Just stay. 280 00:11:25,395 --> 00:11:26,807 [ Breathes deeply ] 281 00:11:26,807 --> 00:11:28,648 Well, we're not off to a very auspicious start, 282 00:11:28,648 --> 00:11:29,940 Are we? 283 00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,651 I know, but the night is young, baby. 284 00:11:31,651 --> 00:11:33,153 Look, these are just minor setbacks. 285 00:11:33,153 --> 00:11:34,815 As soon as my head stops bleeding 286 00:11:34,815 --> 00:11:36,196 And my hand stops throbbing, 287 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,819 Our romantic night is underway, okay? 288 00:11:38,819 --> 00:11:41,581 Well, I'm ready when you are. 289 00:11:41,581 --> 00:11:44,084 Okay. Look... I'm ready, too. 290 00:11:44,084 --> 00:11:46,036 I don't want anything else to spoil our evening. 291 00:11:46,036 --> 00:11:48,208 Well, let me slip into something a little more comfortable. 292 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,090 Oh, really? Wait, can I give you another kiss? 293 00:11:50,090 --> 00:11:51,832 Right here, I see something. 294 00:11:51,832 --> 00:11:54,214 Right there? You see something? 295 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,386 Ooh! [ Laughs ] 296 00:11:56,386 --> 00:11:58,468 Aah! What is that noise? 297 00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:01,802 Aw, it's tommy with the damn drums again. 298 00:12:01,802 --> 00:12:04,104 Michael, how are you gonna plan a romantic evening 299 00:12:04,104 --> 00:12:06,306 And not pay off tommy the tone deaf drummer? 300 00:12:06,306 --> 00:12:08,228 I'm sorry, I forgot. I'll take care of it. 301 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,020 You go upstairs and slip into something 302 00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:12,312 That I can slip off real easily. 303 00:12:12,312 --> 00:12:14,694 [ Cackles ] 304 00:12:14,694 --> 00:12:16,947 Tommy! 305 00:12:16,947 --> 00:12:19,569 Tommy! 306 00:12:19,569 --> 00:12:21,491 Tommy! 307 00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:22,953 Tommy: what? 308 00:12:22,953 --> 00:12:25,125 Could you stop beating those drums, please? 309 00:12:25,125 --> 00:12:27,577 Don't you mock me, boy. 310 00:12:27,577 --> 00:12:29,960 Hey, I'm not kidding with you. 311 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,132 [ Chuckling ] all right, look. Look. 312 00:12:32,132 --> 00:12:33,633 You know what? 313 00:12:33,633 --> 00:12:35,966 I'll give you $10 if you stop making that noise. 314 00:12:35,966 --> 00:12:38,588 All right, $20. 315 00:12:38,588 --> 00:12:39,840 $30! 316 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,762 $50, But that's as high as I'm gonna go. 317 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,594 All right, I'll give you $100. 318 00:12:44,594 --> 00:12:46,977 I'm trying to have a romantic night with my wife. 319 00:12:46,977 --> 00:12:48,598 Just stop the drums. 320 00:12:48,598 --> 00:12:51,481 $100 Over the wall. 321 00:12:51,481 --> 00:12:53,103 [ Sighs ] 322 00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,736 Tommy!! 323 00:12:56,736 --> 00:12:58,528 Just kidding. 324 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,955 Why, don't you look sexy. 325 00:13:04,955 --> 00:13:07,207 [ Chuckles ] what do you call that thing? 326 00:13:07,207 --> 00:13:09,119 This is my new corset. 327 00:13:09,119 --> 00:13:12,913 They only had one left in my size -- tiny. 328 00:13:12,913 --> 00:13:14,754 [ Cackles ] 329 00:13:14,754 --> 00:13:16,546 [ Gasps ] 330 00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:17,968 [ Cackles ] 331 00:13:17,968 --> 00:13:19,970 [ Gasps ] 332 00:13:19,970 --> 00:13:21,922 What's the matter? 333 00:13:21,922 --> 00:13:23,884 I can't breathe! 334 00:13:23,884 --> 00:13:25,385 What? I can't breathe! 335 00:13:25,385 --> 00:13:27,187 Michael, I can't breathe! It's too tight! 336 00:13:27,187 --> 00:13:29,639 It's too tight! Oh, god, I think I'm dying. 337 00:13:29,639 --> 00:13:30,931 What do you want me to do? 338 00:13:30,931 --> 00:13:33,693 Loosen the string! Loosen the string! 339 00:13:33,693 --> 00:13:35,025 But you look so good! 340 00:13:35,025 --> 00:13:36,436 I do? 341 00:13:36,436 --> 00:13:38,278 Yeah. 342 00:13:38,278 --> 00:13:40,490 Maybe I could get in a quickie first, huh? You think? 343 00:13:40,490 --> 00:13:42,032 But I see the white light. 344 00:13:42,032 --> 00:13:44,034 Oh, no, don't go to the light. Don't go to the light, baby. 345 00:13:44,034 --> 00:13:45,615 Here, here, here you go. 346 00:13:45,615 --> 00:13:46,706 [ Coughing ] 347 00:13:46,706 --> 00:13:49,910 [ Gasping ] 348 00:13:49,910 --> 00:13:51,451 You okay? You okay? 349 00:13:51,451 --> 00:13:54,454 Oh, I thought I was dying. 350 00:13:54,454 --> 00:13:56,796 Well, hey, you sure looked good going out. 351 00:13:56,796 --> 00:13:59,719 I'm gonna take that as a compliment. 352 00:13:59,719 --> 00:14:01,841 Get your breath on, because we're about to go upstairs 353 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,263 And get this party started. 354 00:14:03,263 --> 00:14:06,266 Okay. All right, baby. I'm ready. You lead the way. 355 00:14:06,266 --> 00:14:08,728 No, no. I want to do something better. 356 00:14:08,728 --> 00:14:10,020 I want to carry you up. 357 00:14:10,020 --> 00:14:12,182 You want to carry me? 358 00:14:12,182 --> 00:14:13,563 Just like in the movies. 359 00:14:13,563 --> 00:14:15,605 Just like in the movies. 360 00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:17,187 One, two, three -- 361 00:14:17,187 --> 00:14:19,439 Whee! 362 00:14:21,401 --> 00:14:22,862 Four, five, six. 363 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,155 Up, up, and away! 364 00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:27,247 Seven, eight, nine. 365 00:14:27,247 --> 00:14:28,868 Light as a feather. 366 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,661 Ohh, my back. Oh. I got back pain. 367 00:14:31,661 --> 00:14:33,163 What? 368 00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:34,915 Oh, the pain! 369 00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:36,836 My back spasmed. A back spasm? 370 00:14:36,836 --> 00:14:40,760 Well, how in the hell did you do that, michael? 371 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:42,462 I don't know. 372 00:14:42,462 --> 00:14:45,095 Come on, michael. Come on. Just come on. 373 00:14:45,095 --> 00:14:47,347 Here, I'll help you to the bedroom. 374 00:14:47,347 --> 00:14:50,390 It hurts! It hurts! Ow. 375 00:14:54,314 --> 00:14:55,725 [ Grunting ] 376 00:14:55,725 --> 00:14:57,517 How's that? 377 00:14:57,517 --> 00:14:58,939 [ Grunts ] 378 00:14:58,939 --> 00:15:00,360 Is that good? 379 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:03,443 Oh, yeah, it's good, but it still hurts 380 00:15:03,443 --> 00:15:05,365 In that one spot that won't quit. 381 00:15:05,365 --> 00:15:06,576 Where is it, michael? 382 00:15:06,576 --> 00:15:08,488 It's right here! 383 00:15:08,488 --> 00:15:10,370 Right there? Okay, you know what? 384 00:15:10,370 --> 00:15:12,372 I know what I'm gonna do for it. 385 00:15:12,372 --> 00:15:14,374 I'm gonna stand on it like the little japanese lady. 386 00:15:14,374 --> 00:15:16,376 No! No. No. 387 00:15:16,376 --> 00:15:17,417 What? 388 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:21,461 Where are you going? Come back here, silly. 389 00:15:23,383 --> 00:15:25,465 No, not the japanese lady. 390 00:15:25,465 --> 00:15:28,548 Yeah, you may feel a little pressure. Ready? 391 00:15:28,548 --> 00:15:30,850 Please, no -- [ groans ] 392 00:15:30,850 --> 00:15:33,473 That means it's working. 393 00:15:33,473 --> 00:15:36,056 Just let it sink in. Stop squirming. 394 00:15:36,056 --> 00:15:38,438 I think I'm sinking in through the ground. 395 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:41,151 Oh, I see the light. I see the white light. 396 00:15:41,151 --> 00:15:44,364 I'm coming to you, skeeter. 397 00:15:44,364 --> 00:15:46,616 Listen, I'm gonna stand on it, all right? 398 00:15:46,616 --> 00:15:48,028 Huh? Don't sta-- 399 00:15:48,028 --> 00:15:50,570 One, two, three... 400 00:15:50,570 --> 00:15:52,372 Ease on down! 401 00:15:52,372 --> 00:15:54,374 Hey. 402 00:15:54,374 --> 00:15:55,915 How's that? 403 00:15:55,915 --> 00:15:57,747 Look, baby. It worked. 404 00:15:57,747 --> 00:16:00,540 See? I told you. 405 00:16:00,540 --> 00:16:01,921 You fixed it. 406 00:16:01,921 --> 00:16:03,843 I told you. Look at that. 407 00:16:03,843 --> 00:16:06,046 ♪ Da-da-da-da-da da-da-da ♪ 408 00:16:06,046 --> 00:16:08,348 You cured it, baby. 409 00:16:08,348 --> 00:16:11,471 And you're gonna benefit from all this movement. 410 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,143 Mmm. 411 00:16:13,143 --> 00:16:15,355 Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. 412 00:16:15,355 --> 00:16:16,596 That sounds like tony. 413 00:16:16,596 --> 00:16:20,150 ♪ But in the game I lost you ♪ 414 00:16:20,150 --> 00:16:22,862 ♪ What a price to pay ♪ 415 00:16:22,862 --> 00:16:24,564 No, no, no, just ignore him. 416 00:16:24,564 --> 00:16:27,067 Ignore him? No, michael, I can't ignore him. 417 00:16:27,067 --> 00:16:28,698 He sounds like a cat in heat. 418 00:16:28,698 --> 00:16:30,450 Why is he doing this? 419 00:16:30,450 --> 00:16:33,073 I'm not doing this until you get him to stop doing that. 420 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,207 [ Grunts ] 421 00:16:38,788 --> 00:16:40,290 ♪ Me-me-me-me-me ♪ 422 00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:43,583 ♪ Me me me me me-ee ♪ 423 00:16:43,583 --> 00:16:48,218 ♪ Oo-ooh, claire's my baby ♪ 424 00:16:48,218 --> 00:16:49,759 Ah! What are you doing?! 425 00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:51,471 What are you doing? 426 00:16:51,471 --> 00:16:53,513 I'm trying to win claire back. I think she broke up with me. 427 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,395 I've been calling her, like, 20 times since 4:00, 428 00:16:55,395 --> 00:16:57,016 And she's not returning my phone calls. 429 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,139 That's because she's over at sheila's house. 430 00:16:59,139 --> 00:17:01,691 Oh. 431 00:17:01,691 --> 00:17:04,023 ♪ Oh, oh-oh-oh ♪ 432 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,606 ♪ Oh, oh-oh-oh ♪ 433 00:17:06,606 --> 00:17:07,857 ♪ Oh-oh-oh oh ♪ ♪ oh-oh-oh oh ♪ 434 00:17:07,857 --> 00:17:09,529 No!! No! 435 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,861 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 436 00:17:11,861 --> 00:17:13,993 Look, the reason she hasn't called you back 437 00:17:13,993 --> 00:17:15,825 Is because I unplugged all the phones 438 00:17:15,825 --> 00:17:17,997 So I can have a romantic night with my wife. 439 00:17:17,997 --> 00:17:19,539 Ew. 440 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,711 Oh! 441 00:17:21,711 --> 00:17:23,123 Sorry. 442 00:17:23,123 --> 00:17:25,255 Wait, so... 443 00:17:25,255 --> 00:17:27,587 So, wait, claire hasn't broken up with me? 444 00:17:27,587 --> 00:17:28,628 No. 445 00:17:28,628 --> 00:17:31,221 It's a miracle. 446 00:17:31,221 --> 00:17:32,512 Oh, thank the lord. 447 00:17:32,512 --> 00:17:37,557 ♪ Amazing grace, how sweet the sound ♪ 448 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:40,310 Ohh! [ Coughing ] 449 00:17:41,731 --> 00:17:43,313 Look, if you keep singing, 450 00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:45,525 Then you're gonna be singing to the lord in person. 451 00:17:45,525 --> 00:17:47,527 That's wrong. 452 00:17:49,989 --> 00:17:53,493 Well, he's gone. [ Chuckles ] 453 00:17:53,493 --> 00:17:55,074 Now, where were we? 454 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,957 I think we were about to go down a street around the corner 455 00:17:57,957 --> 00:18:00,620 And step smack-dab into these. 456 00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:03,463 Uh-oh. Hello, officer jay. 457 00:18:03,463 --> 00:18:05,165 I think you'd better frisk me. 458 00:18:05,165 --> 00:18:07,587 I may have a concealed weapon. Not there -- right here. 459 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,919 Ooh! I think that's against the law. 460 00:18:09,919 --> 00:18:11,881 I'm gonna have to take you in. 461 00:18:11,881 --> 00:18:13,923 And spank me? Uh-huh. 462 00:18:15,675 --> 00:18:17,056 Wait, what is that? 463 00:18:17,056 --> 00:18:18,598 I think something's on fire, michael! 464 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:21,271 Oh, my god. It's the roast. You stay here. I'll go get it. 465 00:18:21,271 --> 00:18:22,352 Michael, wait! 466 00:18:22,352 --> 00:18:23,563 Whoa, hey. 467 00:18:23,563 --> 00:18:25,145 Come here. Oh, you okay? 468 00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:26,316 Yeah. 469 00:18:26,316 --> 00:18:28,278 Yeah, all right. Where's the key? 470 00:18:28,278 --> 00:18:29,649 Um, there is no key. 471 00:18:29,649 --> 00:18:31,030 It's supposed to press this button, 472 00:18:31,030 --> 00:18:32,362 And it's supposed to open. 473 00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:33,693 Well, it's not opening. 474 00:18:33,693 --> 00:18:34,944 I know it's not opening. 475 00:18:34,944 --> 00:18:37,076 Is there a magic word? Let's see. 476 00:18:37,076 --> 00:18:38,698 Abracadabra, abracazam! 477 00:18:38,698 --> 00:18:41,541 Ollie, ollie, ollie, get off me! 478 00:18:41,541 --> 00:18:43,002 Ugh! 479 00:18:43,002 --> 00:18:45,505 Oh, okay, well, you know what? Just come with me. 480 00:18:45,505 --> 00:18:47,297 Wait, michael, wait! 481 00:18:47,297 --> 00:18:48,918 Wait! 482 00:18:48,918 --> 00:18:51,711 You okay? [ High-pitched voice ] I'm okay. 483 00:18:51,711 --> 00:18:53,673 Come on. 484 00:18:53,673 --> 00:18:55,755 Oof, ow! What was that, a payback? 485 00:18:55,755 --> 00:18:59,429 No, that wasn't a payback. That was a payback. 486 00:18:59,429 --> 00:19:01,020 Oh, my god, michael! 487 00:19:01,020 --> 00:19:03,062 Let's get it out of there. 488 00:19:03,062 --> 00:19:04,724 [ Coughing ] [ coughing ] 489 00:19:04,724 --> 00:19:07,567 Get the things -- oh, I can't... 490 00:19:07,567 --> 00:19:09,609 Here. 491 00:19:09,609 --> 00:19:12,272 Just throw it in there. 492 00:19:12,272 --> 00:19:14,484 Turn on the water. 493 00:19:14,484 --> 00:19:16,406 The water's off. 494 00:19:16,406 --> 00:19:19,579 Here, pour the coffee in it. I'll pour this juice. 495 00:19:19,579 --> 00:19:22,492 You got it. 496 00:19:22,492 --> 00:19:24,584 Wow. 497 00:19:25,995 --> 00:19:28,378 Whoo! Oh, my god! 498 00:19:28,378 --> 00:19:29,999 What's going on here? 499 00:19:29,999 --> 00:19:31,501 What are they doing? 500 00:19:33,843 --> 00:19:36,216 Stand back! Move away from the fire! 501 00:19:36,216 --> 00:19:38,057 It's okay, everything's under contr-- 502 00:20:08,328 --> 00:20:11,591 The door was open! Why did they do that? 503 00:20:13,633 --> 00:20:15,004 [ Sighs ] 504 00:20:15,004 --> 00:20:16,716 [ Sighs ] 505 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,678 I'm sorry that our romantic night 506 00:20:18,678 --> 00:20:20,390 Turned into such a bust. 507 00:20:20,390 --> 00:20:22,302 I really wanted it to be special. 508 00:20:22,302 --> 00:20:23,843 Michael, it was special. 509 00:20:23,843 --> 00:20:26,145 You want to know why it was so special? 510 00:20:26,145 --> 00:20:29,559 The fact that my husband, my beautiful husband, 511 00:20:29,559 --> 00:20:31,611 Still, after all these years, 512 00:20:31,611 --> 00:20:34,734 Cares about romance and making his baby happy. 513 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,907 I love you so much, michael. 514 00:20:37,907 --> 00:20:39,779 Not like I love you. 515 00:20:42,822 --> 00:20:44,243 Cheers. 516 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,785 Seinfeld. 517 00:20:47,497 --> 00:20:48,868 Mmm. 518 00:20:50,540 --> 00:20:52,131 So you still want to -- 519 00:20:52,131 --> 00:20:53,873 Oh, no. I'm tired. 520 00:20:53,873 --> 00:20:55,044 Oh, thank god. 521 00:20:55,044 --> 00:20:57,086 Oh, baby, that was so much pressure. 522 00:20:57,086 --> 00:20:58,718 I didn't -- 523 00:20:58,718 --> 00:21:00,970 Oh, I was gonna have to take a pill or something. 524 00:21:00,970 --> 00:21:03,383 You're wonderful. 525 00:21:03,383 --> 00:21:05,094 Oh, I love you, too. 526 00:21:07,887 --> 00:21:09,939 Mmm. 527 00:21:09,939 --> 00:21:12,442 ♪ Claire's my baby ♪ 528 00:21:12,442 --> 00:21:14,444 Ah! What are you doing?! 529 00:21:14,444 --> 00:21:16,105 I'm looking for my mark. That's what I'm doing. 530 00:21:16,105 --> 00:21:19,489 Ah! It's right there! Ah! Aah! 531 00:21:19,489 --> 00:21:22,532 What are you doing?! 532 00:21:24,364 --> 00:21:25,785 [ Coughs ] 533 00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:28,117 What are you doing? 36625

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