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1
00:00:05,046 --> 00:00:06,887
Good morning, baby.
Good morning.
2
00:00:06,887 --> 00:00:07,798
What's for breakfast?
3
00:00:07,798 --> 00:00:09,890
Well, since I upset
your stomach last night,
4
00:00:09,890 --> 00:00:12,393
I decided to give you
something that I know works --
5
00:00:12,393 --> 00:00:16,517
Leftovers -- pizza,
mu gu gai pan, and bacon.
6
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,018
That sounds terrific.
7
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,441
...all cooked up
in an omelet.
8
00:00:20,441 --> 00:00:22,353
That sounds horrible.
9
00:00:22,353 --> 00:00:24,775
How many more days is your
mother gonna be out of town?
10
00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:26,407
Another week.
A week?
11
00:00:26,407 --> 00:00:30,030
That's 7 times 3 meals a day.
That's 21 more toxic meals.
12
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,203
I don't think
I'm gonna make it.
13
00:00:32,203 --> 00:00:34,865
Dad, I'm in trouble.
14
00:00:34,865 --> 00:00:37,918
Yeah, and if I eat this omelet,
we're all gonna be in trouble.
15
00:00:37,918 --> 00:00:40,421
No, I'm talking about
my science class.
16
00:00:40,421 --> 00:00:43,124
They expect me to write
a paper on cold fusion.
17
00:00:43,124 --> 00:00:46,167
When am I ever gonna need to
know about cold fusion?
18
00:00:46,167 --> 00:00:47,878
Look at me.
19
00:00:47,878 --> 00:00:50,381
I'm pretty.
Hello.
20
00:00:50,381 --> 00:00:54,225
Pretty girls like me don't need
to know about cold fusion.
21
00:00:54,225 --> 00:00:57,638
Yeah, let the buck-toothed, ugly
girls learn about cold fusion.
22
00:00:57,638 --> 00:00:58,849
I mean, they're the ones
23
00:00:58,849 --> 00:01:01,642
That's not gonna be affected
by the radiation.
24
00:01:01,642 --> 00:01:03,894
Right, you
understand exactly.
25
00:01:03,894 --> 00:01:05,896
Claire, being pretty
is not an excuse.
26
00:01:05,896 --> 00:01:07,738
What if you get into
a car accident
27
00:01:07,738 --> 00:01:09,450
And you mess up
that pretty face?
28
00:01:09,450 --> 00:01:11,822
Then I'll just comb my pretty
hair over my scars,
29
00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:13,494
Scabs, and keloids.
30
00:01:13,494 --> 00:01:15,956
You got it all figured out,
don't you?
31
00:01:15,956 --> 00:01:19,120
Look, claire, they give you
these science projects
32
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:20,961
To teach you how to think.
33
00:01:20,961 --> 00:01:22,963
You have to read.
You have to work.
34
00:01:22,963 --> 00:01:24,125
You have to investigate.
35
00:01:24,125 --> 00:01:26,417
You gotta use that
mental muscle.
Ow!
36
00:01:26,417 --> 00:01:27,968
You see?
You still got a soft spot.
37
00:01:27,968 --> 00:01:30,050
You're supposed to fill that up
with knowledge.
38
00:01:30,050 --> 00:01:32,973
Being stupid
never hurt anybody.
39
00:01:32,973 --> 00:01:36,217
Hey, mike.
40
00:01:36,217 --> 00:01:39,600
Calvin.
What do I owe the displeasure?
41
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:40,931
[ Sniffing ]
42
00:01:40,931 --> 00:01:43,894
Whoa, is that a pizza,
mu gu gai pan,
43
00:01:43,894 --> 00:01:45,646
Bacon omelet I smell?
44
00:01:45,646 --> 00:01:48,319
It is, you got a nose
like a bloodhound.
45
00:01:48,319 --> 00:01:50,070
Man, these
are hard to find.
46
00:01:50,070 --> 00:01:51,822
You mind
if I have a piece?
47
00:01:51,822 --> 00:01:53,444
You can have
the whole thing.
48
00:01:53,444 --> 00:01:55,406
I'll go get you something
to eat it with.
49
00:01:55,406 --> 00:01:57,077
Oh, no need.
I got my own utensils.
50
00:01:57,077 --> 00:02:00,000
My lucky knife and fork.
51
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,293
You'd be amazed at
how much food people give me
52
00:02:02,293 --> 00:02:04,335
When they see me coming
with these babies.
53
00:02:04,335 --> 00:02:06,377
I bet they give you
money, too.
54
00:02:06,377 --> 00:02:08,799
Well, sometimes,
but I don't eat that.
55
00:02:08,799 --> 00:02:10,841
Quarters are hard to chew.
56
00:02:13,304 --> 00:02:15,516
Okay, I'll remember that.
57
00:02:15,516 --> 00:02:18,259
So, calvin,
why are you here?
58
00:02:18,259 --> 00:02:20,851
Well, mike, I need a job.
59
00:02:20,851 --> 00:02:23,524
Well, I thought you
were on disability.
60
00:02:23,524 --> 00:02:24,765
Oh, not anymore.
61
00:02:24,765 --> 00:02:26,977
The disability man
found out my back got better.
62
00:02:26,977 --> 00:02:28,028
How'd he find that out?
63
00:02:28,028 --> 00:02:31,322
I threw him over a fence
when he accused me of faking.
64
00:02:31,322 --> 00:02:33,324
Gee, calvin, I wish
I could help you out,
65
00:02:33,324 --> 00:02:35,075
But right now,
we just don't have --
66
00:02:35,075 --> 00:02:36,947
Oh, there's got
to be something, mike!
67
00:02:36,947 --> 00:02:38,869
Honestly,
we're all staffed --
68
00:02:38,869 --> 00:02:42,203
Oh, think deep,
mike, think!
69
00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:43,704
I mean, really --
70
00:02:43,704 --> 00:02:45,165
You're not thinking, mike!
71
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,497
You know what?
72
00:02:46,497 --> 00:02:49,340
Something just opened up
on the loading dock.
73
00:02:49,340 --> 00:02:51,502
Hmm, the loading dock.
What would I be doing?
74
00:02:51,502 --> 00:02:53,554
Loading.
75
00:02:53,554 --> 00:02:55,556
You know I got a bad back.
76
00:02:55,556 --> 00:02:56,847
No, you don't.
77
00:02:56,847 --> 00:02:58,299
Oh, you know,
that's right.
78
00:02:58,299 --> 00:03:00,851
I've been saying it so long,
I almost believed it.
79
00:03:00,851 --> 00:03:03,564
[ Laughs mockingly ]
80
00:03:03,564 --> 00:03:05,015
Well, you know, mike,
81
00:03:05,015 --> 00:03:07,518
I was thinking more
of a managerial position.
82
00:03:07,518 --> 00:03:10,901
Is that what you
was thinking, management?
83
00:03:10,901 --> 00:03:13,944
Vice-president --
how does that sound?
84
00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:16,867
Hmm. Vice-president?
Yeah.
85
00:03:16,867 --> 00:03:20,371
Wait a minute, hold on.
V.p. Of the l.d.
86
00:03:20,371 --> 00:03:22,533
Oh, I like
the sound of that, mike.
87
00:03:22,533 --> 00:03:25,376
When do I start?
9:00 Sharp
tomorrow morning.
88
00:03:25,376 --> 00:03:27,918
Oh, 9:00?
That's not gonna work for me.
89
00:03:27,918 --> 00:03:29,039
Why not?
90
00:03:29,039 --> 00:03:30,631
I'm not a morning person.
91
00:03:30,631 --> 00:03:33,213
Morning makes me evil, angry,
and aggressive!
92
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,676
It triggers that short fuse
to my violent temper!
93
00:03:35,676 --> 00:03:36,927
Did I say 9:00?
94
00:03:36,927 --> 00:03:39,179
No, vice-presidents
start at 11:30.
95
00:03:39,179 --> 00:03:42,803
Oh, that's still early.
96
00:03:42,803 --> 00:03:45,346
Well, then, calvin, what time
do you want to come in?
97
00:03:45,346 --> 00:03:46,807
Well, let's see.
98
00:03:46,807 --> 00:03:50,020
I gotta have breakfast,
work out,
99
00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:53,654
Have breakfast number two,
work out.
100
00:03:53,654 --> 00:03:55,115
Then I gotta have
a number two
101
00:03:55,115 --> 00:03:56,777
To get rid of
breakfast number one.
102
00:03:56,777 --> 00:03:58,739
And then it's nap time
103
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:01,241
'Cause you know those number
twos take a lot out of you.
104
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,323
[ Laughs ]
105
00:04:02,323 --> 00:04:04,495
So how's about 4:45?
106
00:04:04,495 --> 00:04:05,786
Calvin, we punch out at --
107
00:04:05,786 --> 00:04:07,668
That's perfect.
I'll see you tomorrow.
108
00:04:07,668 --> 00:04:09,960
So, if you don't mind,
I like to eat alone.
109
00:04:13,424 --> 00:04:16,086
In my own house?
Yeah.
110
00:04:16,086 --> 00:04:18,299
You want a sip?
Do you mind?
111
00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:20,341
Yeah, I do.
112
00:04:26,387 --> 00:04:28,389
You did what?
113
00:04:28,389 --> 00:04:29,890
I gave calvin a job.
114
00:04:29,890 --> 00:04:32,443
Why?!
Lord, why?!
115
00:04:32,443 --> 00:04:35,696
Why, lord, why?!
116
00:04:37,358 --> 00:04:38,819
Because he was desperate,
117
00:04:38,819 --> 00:04:41,782
And the man was eating
an omelet with a machete.
118
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,574
What was I supposed to do?
119
00:04:43,574 --> 00:04:45,576
Anything but hire him.
He hates me.
120
00:04:45,576 --> 00:04:46,867
Why would he hate you?
121
00:04:46,867 --> 00:04:48,619
All you did was get his
teenage daughter pregnant
122
00:04:48,619 --> 00:04:50,961
And rob her of her innocence
and promising future.
123
00:04:50,961 --> 00:04:53,914
Exactly, and I don't think it's
smart for me to be around him.
124
00:04:53,914 --> 00:04:56,507
You're right, son.
You're fired.
125
00:04:56,507 --> 00:04:58,629
Thank you.
Problem solved.
126
00:04:58,629 --> 00:04:59,920
Hey, hey, hey.
127
00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:01,882
If I get fired,
then I don't get paid,
128
00:05:01,882 --> 00:05:04,845
And if I don't get paid, I can't
support vanessa and the baby,
129
00:05:04,845 --> 00:05:06,687
And calvin will
just kill me anyway.
130
00:05:06,687 --> 00:05:08,519
I might as well
just stay here and die.
131
00:05:08,519 --> 00:05:09,600
At least I'll get paid.
132
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,812
Look, he's only doing
a 15-minute workday.
133
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:14,775
What kind of trouble could he
get in on the loading dock?
134
00:05:14,775 --> 00:05:16,937
Boss, there's trouble
on the loading dock.
135
00:05:18,649 --> 00:05:20,741
[ Grunting ]
136
00:05:24,284 --> 00:05:26,947
He looks like
he's working hard to me.
137
00:05:26,947 --> 00:05:28,709
I can't find larry.
138
00:05:28,709 --> 00:05:31,502
Well, where is he?
Calvin, have you seen larry?
139
00:05:31,502 --> 00:05:34,585
You talking about the fella who
kept telling me to slow down?
140
00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:37,378
I ain't seen him since I loaded
the first refrigerator.
141
00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:39,420
Larry: [ strained voice ]
help me, mr. Kyle.
142
00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:43,133
Get me out of here.
Can't breathe.
143
00:05:43,133 --> 00:05:46,677
You didn't use the lucky knife
and fork, did you?
144
00:05:46,677 --> 00:05:49,019
My femur is crushed.
145
00:05:49,019 --> 00:05:51,642
Larry, where are you?
146
00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:55,396
Under the first refrigerator.
Help me.
147
00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:56,777
I hurt.
148
00:05:56,777 --> 00:05:59,530
Calvin, you gotta
get the man outta there.
149
00:05:59,530 --> 00:06:02,613
Okay, calm down.
150
00:06:02,613 --> 00:06:03,984
Whoops, quittin' time.
151
00:06:03,984 --> 00:06:07,117
I'll get him first thing
tomorrow at 4:45 p.m.
152
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:09,660
I can't feel my body.
153
00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:10,951
Calvin, don't punch --
154
00:06:10,951 --> 00:06:13,163
Look, you gotta get the man from
underneath the boxes.
155
00:06:13,163 --> 00:06:16,086
Are you offering me overtime
on my first day?
156
00:06:16,086 --> 00:06:19,259
No, I'm asking you to save
somebody's life.
157
00:06:19,259 --> 00:06:22,132
Well, I wonder what kind of
value he places on his life.
158
00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:25,095
I'll give you $100.
159
00:06:25,095 --> 00:06:27,508
Ooh, $100.
[ Chuckles ]
160
00:06:27,508 --> 00:06:30,220
He must have
low self-esteem.
161
00:06:30,220 --> 00:06:34,144
$200, But
that's all I've got.
162
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:37,317
Calvin, I'll give you
$300, huh? $300.
163
00:06:37,317 --> 00:06:39,019
Just get him
out of there, here.
164
00:06:39,019 --> 00:06:40,441
Okay, well, let me
count it first.
165
00:06:40,441 --> 00:06:41,782
It's $300, trust me.
166
00:06:41,782 --> 00:06:43,574
Let's make sure
it's right.
167
00:06:43,574 --> 00:06:46,156
$100...
168
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,327
Calvin!!
169
00:06:47,327 --> 00:06:49,580
Okay, all right, okay.
Calm down.
170
00:06:49,580 --> 00:06:50,831
Just hurry.
171
00:06:50,831 --> 00:06:53,664
I'm sorry, I didn't mean --
I just was --
172
00:06:57,798 --> 00:06:59,710
[ Grunting ]
173
00:07:02,382 --> 00:07:05,345
Aah!
174
00:07:05,345 --> 00:07:06,717
Man overboard!
175
00:07:06,717 --> 00:07:08,639
Thank you!
176
00:07:16,727 --> 00:07:18,148
Franklin!
177
00:07:18,148 --> 00:07:21,231
If it isn't my favorite person
in the whole, wide world.
178
00:07:21,231 --> 00:07:23,944
Cut the malarkey.
What do you want?
179
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,947
Okay, I have a problem that only
you can help me with.
180
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,328
What is it?
181
00:07:28,328 --> 00:07:30,741
I have to write a paper
for my science class.
182
00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:32,913
Well, I hope you're not
looking for help
183
00:07:32,913 --> 00:07:35,205
From the charlatans who
published this rag.
184
00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:38,208
They plagiarized huge sections
of my thesis on solar flares.
185
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:41,421
Solar flares -- now, that's
the kind of thing I need.
186
00:07:41,421 --> 00:07:43,584
You know a lot
about this stuff, huh?
187
00:07:43,584 --> 00:07:47,758
Have you actually ever looked
at your science book?
188
00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:48,759
Not really.
189
00:07:52,593 --> 00:07:55,596
"Dr. Franklin aloysius mumford
received his phd
190
00:07:55,596 --> 00:07:58,809
In particle physics
from harvard university."
191
00:07:58,809 --> 00:08:00,651
Hey, that's you!
192
00:08:00,651 --> 00:08:04,865
That's right.
You're a genius.
193
00:08:04,865 --> 00:08:06,817
Can you please help me?
194
00:08:06,817 --> 00:08:10,661
Indeed, but only if it's
something innovative and fresh.
195
00:08:10,661 --> 00:08:13,073
It's my penultimate
challenge.
196
00:08:13,073 --> 00:08:15,165
Yes, penultimate.
197
00:08:15,165 --> 00:08:17,578
And what does
"penultimate" mean?
198
00:08:17,578 --> 00:08:19,079
It's your word.
Don't you know?
199
00:08:19,079 --> 00:08:21,792
I'm just trying to gauge
how high this hill is.
200
00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:23,003
What hill?
201
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:26,256
The one between you
and knowledge.
202
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:29,299
Look, all I know is I have to
write a paper for science
203
00:08:29,299 --> 00:08:32,092
About cold fusion, and I have
no idea what that is.
204
00:08:32,092 --> 00:08:34,685
Now, can you please help me,
professor mumford?
205
00:08:34,685 --> 00:08:36,727
For your
future sister-in-law?
206
00:08:36,727 --> 00:08:38,188
Certainly.
207
00:08:38,188 --> 00:08:40,641
Let's get to work.
208
00:08:40,641 --> 00:08:44,104
This sure is a flattering
picture, don't you think?
209
00:08:47,738 --> 00:08:49,990
So what are we gonna do
about calvin?
210
00:08:49,990 --> 00:08:52,653
I'm thinking about cutting
his workday in half.
211
00:08:52,653 --> 00:08:55,155
I mean, what can you do
in 7 1/2 minutes?
212
00:08:55,155 --> 00:08:56,787
Well, I got vanessa pregnant.
213
00:08:56,787 --> 00:08:58,368
That accounts for
the 1/2 minute.
214
00:08:58,368 --> 00:08:59,870
What did you do with
the other 7?
215
00:08:59,870 --> 00:09:01,922
Recuperate.
216
00:09:01,922 --> 00:09:04,715
He's not gonna get in trouble
where I put him.
217
00:09:04,715 --> 00:09:07,167
Bad news -- he got in trouble
where you put him.
218
00:09:10,761 --> 00:09:12,843
Put me down.
Put -- put me down.
219
00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:15,515
Look, kazaam, put me down.
220
00:09:15,515 --> 00:09:17,307
Calvin,
put mr. Wedgie down.
221
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:20,350
I would like to, mr. Kyle,
but I don't know where.
222
00:09:20,350 --> 00:09:21,732
I don't see the sign.
223
00:09:21,732 --> 00:09:23,233
Some idiot put up
a pick-up sign
224
00:09:23,233 --> 00:09:24,945
And failed to put up
a put-down sign.
225
00:09:24,945 --> 00:09:27,567
It's a good thing he didn't see
the "loading in rear" sign.
226
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,860
We'll get you down,
little fella.
227
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:31,241
Here, hey, calvin.
Calvin.
228
00:09:31,241 --> 00:09:32,693
But that's where I
picked him up.
229
00:09:32,693 --> 00:09:34,284
Okay. Here.
230
00:09:34,284 --> 00:09:36,286
Put him down
right here, see?
231
00:09:36,286 --> 00:09:38,749
Here you go, little fella.
There you go.
232
00:09:38,749 --> 00:09:41,581
Okay, thank you
for your patronage.
233
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,294
You'll be hearing from
my lawyer.
234
00:09:44,294 --> 00:09:46,757
[ Chuckles ]
you're welcome.
235
00:09:48,128 --> 00:09:50,801
Whoops.
That's quittin' time for me.
236
00:09:50,801 --> 00:09:53,593
Whoo! Another day,
another dollar.
237
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,636
This job is almost easy
as disability.
238
00:09:57,718 --> 00:10:00,140
I'll see you tomorrow.
239
00:10:03,313 --> 00:10:04,775
Dad, what are we gonna do?
240
00:10:04,775 --> 00:10:06,436
I don't know,
241
00:10:06,436 --> 00:10:08,729
But you've just been promoted
to head of personnel.
242
00:10:08,729 --> 00:10:11,191
Oh, that's great.
What do I do?
243
00:10:11,191 --> 00:10:12,823
You get to hire people.
244
00:10:12,823 --> 00:10:14,905
And you get to fire people.
245
00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:16,737
Whoa, now, that's power.
246
00:10:16,737 --> 00:10:18,659
Now go fire calvin!
247
00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:21,371
Okay, but I have to fire
somebody else first.
Who?
248
00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:23,373
The new head of personnel.
249
00:10:25,165 --> 00:10:27,958
He's getting smarter.
250
00:10:32,342 --> 00:10:34,424
It's about
being courageous, son.
251
00:10:34,424 --> 00:10:36,306
You just
gotta be courageous.
252
00:10:36,306 --> 00:10:38,308
No, you don't.
Yeah.
253
00:10:38,308 --> 00:10:40,761
Look, okay, let's just
change the subject.
254
00:10:40,761 --> 00:10:43,023
Are you sure you
don't want to take the job
255
00:10:43,023 --> 00:10:44,264
As head of personnel?
256
00:10:44,264 --> 00:10:46,066
The offer's still
on the table.
257
00:10:46,066 --> 00:10:47,858
I'm not firing calvin, dad.
258
00:10:47,858 --> 00:10:50,981
Fine, I'll do it
myself, punk.
259
00:10:50,981 --> 00:10:55,485
All right, roll up the windows,
lock the doors.
260
00:10:55,485 --> 00:10:56,827
Locked.
261
00:10:56,827 --> 00:11:00,080
Unwrap the bacon sandwich.
That's gonna attract him.
262
00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,662
Here we go, here we go.
263
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,285
Aaahh!
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
264
00:11:05,285 --> 00:11:07,667
I didn't think it would
come that fast.
265
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,089
Calvin!
266
00:11:09,089 --> 00:11:11,421
Calvin!
267
00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:12,793
Get over here, look.
268
00:11:12,793 --> 00:11:16,096
Calvin, you're fired!
You're fired!
269
00:11:16,096 --> 00:11:18,759
Go home, we don't need you.
Pack your stuff and get out.
270
00:11:18,759 --> 00:11:20,140
Fired.
271
00:11:20,140 --> 00:11:22,102
Hold on, hold on.
272
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,649
I didn't hear you.
What did you say?
273
00:11:29,649 --> 00:11:32,522
[ Whimpering ]
274
00:11:32,522 --> 00:11:34,815
I said -- I said
you're -- you're tired,
275
00:11:34,815 --> 00:11:36,526
And you need a bacon break.
276
00:11:36,526 --> 00:11:38,779
Oh, you're
the greatest, boss.
277
00:11:38,779 --> 00:11:41,701
A bacon break and quittin' time
all in one.
278
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,414
This is a good job!
279
00:11:44,414 --> 00:11:46,326
Oh -- oh, by the way,
280
00:11:46,326 --> 00:11:48,378
Tomorrow I'm gonna talk to you
about a raise.
281
00:11:48,378 --> 00:11:49,669
Huh? I can't hear,
I'm sorry.
282
00:11:49,669 --> 00:11:51,591
I said, "I want to talk to you
about a raise."
283
00:11:51,591 --> 00:11:53,423
Roll down the window.
284
00:11:53,423 --> 00:11:55,796
Put the window down.
285
00:11:55,796 --> 00:11:57,968
I said, "tomorrow I want to talk
to you about a raise."
286
00:11:57,968 --> 00:12:00,931
Okay.
Don't forget your bacon.
287
00:12:00,931 --> 00:12:03,303
Aah! My finger!
288
00:12:05,515 --> 00:12:08,809
♪ Kady, kady, little star ♪
289
00:12:08,809 --> 00:12:11,772
♪ I'm gonna buy you a house
and a car ♪
290
00:12:11,772 --> 00:12:14,855
♪ Surround you with fur,
diamonds, and pearls ♪
291
00:12:14,855 --> 00:12:21,701
♪ Because you are
my spe-e-e-cial girl ♪
292
00:12:21,701 --> 00:12:25,325
♪ Kady, kady, little star ♪
293
00:12:25,325 --> 00:12:29,459
♪ We're gonna go,
oh, so far ♪
294
00:12:29,459 --> 00:12:31,081
Take it away, kady.
295
00:12:31,081 --> 00:12:34,464
♪ Franklin, franklin,
you're my honey ♪
296
00:12:34,464 --> 00:12:40,090
♪ Because you'll give me
all your monies ♪
297
00:12:40,090 --> 00:12:43,263
You little gold digger!
298
00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:47,307
"A" plus! "A" plus!
I did it! I did it!
299
00:12:47,307 --> 00:12:48,728
You did it?
300
00:12:48,728 --> 00:12:49,890
Well, we did it.
301
00:12:49,890 --> 00:12:52,312
We did it?
Okay, you did it.
302
00:12:52,312 --> 00:12:54,895
Congratulations to me.
303
00:12:54,895 --> 00:12:57,317
There's only one problem.
304
00:12:57,317 --> 00:12:59,609
The teachers wanna do
a "q" and "a" with me.
305
00:12:59,609 --> 00:13:02,823
That is a problem.
In fact, it's a disaster.
306
00:13:02,823 --> 00:13:04,454
Why?
307
00:13:04,454 --> 00:13:07,617
Because her teachers want to
question her about cold fusion,
308
00:13:07,617 --> 00:13:09,789
And she will have
none of the answers.
309
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:10,790
Oh, my god.
310
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,792
How are we
gonna handle this?
311
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,794
We? No way.
312
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,586
I refuse
to be a part of this.
313
00:13:16,586 --> 00:13:18,678
Come on, franklin.
No.
314
00:13:18,678 --> 00:13:20,260
Kady, talk to him.
315
00:13:20,260 --> 00:13:22,052
I get all your lipsticks.
Deal.
316
00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:24,514
Franklin aloysius mumford,
help her.
317
00:13:24,514 --> 00:13:27,637
Of course, dear.
318
00:13:27,637 --> 00:13:30,350
Okay, here's what we do...
319
00:13:33,643 --> 00:13:35,645
I'm gonna fire that man
tomorrow.
320
00:13:35,645 --> 00:13:38,148
I hope so, I can't stand
living in fear like this.
321
00:13:38,148 --> 00:13:39,489
I was up all night
322
00:13:39,489 --> 00:13:41,902
Getting every trace of bacon
out of this house.
323
00:13:41,902 --> 00:13:44,404
What's that noise?
Don't you play with me.
324
00:13:44,404 --> 00:13:48,158
Is he here?
No. No, listen.
325
00:13:48,158 --> 00:13:49,659
There.
326
00:13:49,659 --> 00:13:52,662
Franklin: ...electrochemically
charged palladium cells
327
00:13:52,662 --> 00:13:54,915
Rests on reports
of excessive heat,
328
00:13:54,915 --> 00:13:58,298
Or more precisely,
excess power.
329
00:13:58,298 --> 00:14:00,420
Or more precisely,
excess power.
330
00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:01,841
Next question.
331
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:02,672
Next question.
332
00:14:02,672 --> 00:14:04,844
What are you doing?
Jumpin' jehosaphat!
333
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,637
Jumpin' jehosaphat!
334
00:14:07,637 --> 00:14:10,810
Oh, hi, mr. Kyle.
What an unexpected pleasure.
335
00:14:10,810 --> 00:14:13,683
Yeah, little jehosaphat.
Who's on that walkie-talkie?
336
00:14:13,683 --> 00:14:16,566
What walkie-talkie?
The one in your hand.
337
00:14:16,566 --> 00:14:18,238
Where'd this come from?
338
00:14:18,238 --> 00:14:20,690
I don't know,
but let me see.
339
00:14:22,822 --> 00:14:24,244
Claire: so what you're
asking is,
340
00:14:24,244 --> 00:14:26,656
"Are the power levels themselves
being accurately measured,
341
00:14:26,656 --> 00:14:28,038
"And are they, in fact,
342
00:14:28,038 --> 00:14:29,789
Satisfying the chemical
assumptions made?"
343
00:14:29,789 --> 00:14:30,991
Good question.
344
00:14:30,991 --> 00:14:33,703
Let me think about that answer.
345
00:14:33,703 --> 00:14:36,796
I said, "let me
think about that answer."
346
00:14:36,796 --> 00:14:38,298
What's going on?
347
00:14:38,298 --> 00:14:41,801
He's answering questions for
claire, who's at school.
348
00:14:41,801 --> 00:14:44,424
Wow. Imagine if franklin would
have answered questions for me
349
00:14:44,424 --> 00:14:45,765
When I was in school.
350
00:14:45,765 --> 00:14:47,887
Then I wouldn't have graduated
at the bottom of my class.
351
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,639
That's right,
you would have graduated
352
00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:51,681
At the top of the bottom
of your class.
353
00:14:51,681 --> 00:14:54,684
Upper lower third, yeah!
Ha ha!
354
00:14:54,684 --> 00:14:56,726
Dum-dum in the house!
355
00:14:56,726 --> 00:14:58,778
That's me! Ha ha!
356
00:14:58,778 --> 00:15:00,320
It's not my fault.
357
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:02,612
Kady asked me to do it,
and I can't say no to her.
358
00:15:02,612 --> 00:15:04,114
She's bewitching.
359
00:15:04,114 --> 00:15:08,198
Her smile ignites my soul and
makes me think of angels.
360
00:15:08,198 --> 00:15:10,330
Oh, shut up.
361
00:15:10,330 --> 00:15:14,494
Okay, I'm gonna deal with
this girl right now.
362
00:15:14,494 --> 00:15:18,628
[ Imitating franklin ] and the
answer to the question is...
363
00:15:18,628 --> 00:15:21,921
Okay, the answer to that
question is onga wonga binga.
364
00:15:24,844 --> 00:15:26,426
Okay, the answer to
the question
365
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:29,099
"Are the power levels themselves
being accurately measured
366
00:15:29,099 --> 00:15:31,141
"And if, in fact,
they're being satisfied
367
00:15:31,141 --> 00:15:33,393
By the chemical assumptions
being made" is...
368
00:15:33,393 --> 00:15:37,767
When pigs
fly out of my butt.
369
00:15:37,767 --> 00:15:40,650
When pigs
fly out of my butt.
370
00:15:40,650 --> 00:15:42,402
Next question.
371
00:15:42,402 --> 00:15:44,614
How'd that go over?
372
00:15:44,614 --> 00:15:46,736
[ Normal voice ]
oh, this is great.
373
00:15:46,736 --> 00:15:49,529
The answer to that question is
I have on headphones,
374
00:15:49,529 --> 00:15:52,702
And I'm cheating right now.
375
00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:55,745
I'm so stupid, I'm just
parroting every word I'm saying.
376
00:15:55,745 --> 00:15:58,208
[ Laughing ]
377
00:15:58,208 --> 00:16:01,421
Man, I'm dumb.
378
00:16:01,421 --> 00:16:04,464
Oh, hi, dad.
379
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,636
Okay.
380
00:16:06,636 --> 00:16:09,679
My dad said to tell you that
I'm a big, cheating phony
381
00:16:09,679 --> 00:16:10,890
Who deserves an "f".
382
00:16:10,890 --> 00:16:13,593
Thank you and good night.
383
00:16:13,593 --> 00:16:15,355
[ Laughing ] oh, this is good.
384
00:16:15,355 --> 00:16:18,018
This is fabulous.
385
00:16:24,104 --> 00:16:26,606
Welcome to calvin's
mmm! Bacon rotisserie,
386
00:16:26,606 --> 00:16:28,698
Where we spell bacon
mmm-bacon.
387
00:16:28,698 --> 00:16:31,281
Hey, hey, hey.
What are you selling here?
388
00:16:31,281 --> 00:16:33,953
Oh, I got every kind of bacon
you can think of, mike.
389
00:16:33,953 --> 00:16:36,916
Bacon strips, bacon cakes,
bacon pot pie, bacon beans,
390
00:16:36,916 --> 00:16:38,708
Canadian bacon,
mexican bacon,
391
00:16:38,708 --> 00:16:41,331
Bacon brownie, shish ke-bacon,
and steak-on.
392
00:16:41,331 --> 00:16:43,123
That's the steak
wrapped in the bacon.
393
00:16:43,123 --> 00:16:44,424
Would you like to try one?
394
00:16:44,424 --> 00:16:45,715
Uh, no thanks.
I don't eat pork.
395
00:16:45,715 --> 00:16:49,049
That's why we have
an alternative -- veggie-acon.
396
00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:52,302
Tastes like bacon.
Mmm, mmm, mmm, but it's not.
397
00:16:54,804 --> 00:16:57,597
Hey, this actually does
taste like bacon.
398
00:16:57,597 --> 00:17:00,190
It really is.
I just say it isn't.
399
00:17:00,190 --> 00:17:03,733
[ Laughs ]
400
00:17:03,733 --> 00:17:06,446
Okay, folks,
calvin's bacon ro--
401
00:17:06,446 --> 00:17:08,648
That's mmm! Bacon
rotisserie.
402
00:17:08,648 --> 00:17:13,413
Calvin's mmm! Bacon rotisserie
is officially closed.
403
00:17:13,413 --> 00:17:15,615
Please go back to
mmm! Work.
404
00:17:18,158 --> 00:17:19,829
What's the problem, boss?
405
00:17:19,829 --> 00:17:23,463
Calvin, you cannot run a
business out of my business.
406
00:17:23,463 --> 00:17:24,464
Sure I can.
407
00:17:24,464 --> 00:17:26,376
I got my bacon-handling
certificate.
408
00:17:26,376 --> 00:17:28,548
Plus, I'm only working
15 minutes a day here.
409
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:29,669
I got plenty of time.
410
00:17:29,669 --> 00:17:32,432
It's not about the time.
It's about principle.
411
00:17:32,432 --> 00:17:34,884
I'm not selling principle.
I'm selling bacon.
412
00:17:34,884 --> 00:17:37,177
If you say bacon
one more time, I'm gonna --
413
00:17:37,177 --> 00:17:38,348
You're gonna what?
414
00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:40,350
I'm gonna have another piece
of this veggie-acon.
415
00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:42,272
Mmm.
416
00:17:42,272 --> 00:17:43,853
Tastes like bacon.
417
00:17:46,986 --> 00:17:49,449
Look, calvin,
this is the last straw.
418
00:17:49,449 --> 00:17:51,531
I'm sorry, I don't know how to
say this, but you're fired.
419
00:17:51,531 --> 00:17:53,403
I'm -- I'm fired?
420
00:17:53,403 --> 00:17:56,366
You mean, like go home, pack it
up, get it on, and kick rocks?
421
00:17:56,366 --> 00:17:58,288
Yes.
422
00:17:58,288 --> 00:18:00,660
[ Crying ]
423
00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:04,584
Are you crying?
424
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:07,917
No. No, no. That's just
some bacon in my eye.
425
00:18:07,917 --> 00:18:10,340
No, those are tears.
You're crying.
426
00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:14,424
All right.
You're right, it's tears.
427
00:18:14,424 --> 00:18:17,767
That's just
the way of my life.
428
00:18:17,767 --> 00:18:20,520
I don't blame you
for firing me.
429
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:21,771
I'm just no good!
430
00:18:26,025 --> 00:18:28,568
Calvin,
don't say that, okay?
431
00:18:28,568 --> 00:18:31,691
You are,
you're a good guy.
432
00:18:35,195 --> 00:18:37,697
Look, calvin, it's not that
you're no good, it's just --
433
00:18:37,697 --> 00:18:38,828
[ Blows nose ]
434
00:18:38,828 --> 00:18:41,331
Oh, my god.
435
00:18:41,331 --> 00:18:43,503
Look, calvin, all right --
436
00:18:45,295 --> 00:18:48,748
Now I know why the veggie-acon
was so salty.
437
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:54,464
Look, calvin, if you really want
to stay here and work with me
438
00:18:54,464 --> 00:18:58,178
And learn from me, I'm willing
to let you keep your job.
439
00:18:58,178 --> 00:19:00,520
Really, mike?
You'd do that for me?
440
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:03,223
Yes.
441
00:19:03,223 --> 00:19:05,185
You're the best.
442
00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:10,320
I'm really happy that we're
gonna still be working together.
443
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:12,942
Well, me too.
444
00:19:12,942 --> 00:19:15,905
So if there's anything
I can do for you right now,
445
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,156
You just name it.
446
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:20,490
Why don't you move that truck
for me, all right?
447
00:19:20,490 --> 00:19:22,952
I'm gonna go
get you the key.
448
00:19:22,952 --> 00:19:25,375
I can't seem to find
the key.
449
00:19:28,958 --> 00:19:31,881
Hold on,
let me get the front.
450
00:19:38,508 --> 00:19:40,350
Are you sure you don't
want to take the job
451
00:19:40,350 --> 00:19:41,391
As head of personnel?
452
00:19:41,391 --> 00:19:43,142
The offer's still
on the table.
453
00:19:43,142 --> 00:19:44,684
I'm not firing calvin, dad.
454
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:48,398
Fine, I'll do it
myself, punk.
455
00:19:48,398 --> 00:19:50,230
All right,
unwrap the bacon.
456
00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:53,273
That's gonna attract him.
457
00:19:53,273 --> 00:19:54,944
You see him anywhere?
458
00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:56,316
No.
459
00:19:56,316 --> 00:19:59,409
Okay, roll up your windows
before you do the bacon.
460
00:20:03,283 --> 00:20:04,824
Doors are locked.
461
00:20:04,824 --> 00:20:07,086
Door locked?
All right.
462
00:20:07,086 --> 00:20:09,959
Okay, so this is the stuff that
we're never gonna make the show.
463
00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:11,461
Of course not.
464
00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:12,962
I've been
in editing before.
33762
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