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1
00:00:04,545 --> 00:00:06,427
Whoo! Like it.
2
00:00:06,427 --> 00:00:08,549
Got you some tea.
3
00:00:08,549 --> 00:00:10,431
Listen.
4
00:00:10,431 --> 00:00:11,802
What? I don't hear --
5
00:00:11,802 --> 00:00:13,094
I know.
Isn't it heaven?
6
00:00:13,094 --> 00:00:16,227
See, this is a preview of what
our lives are gonna be like
7
00:00:16,227 --> 00:00:17,978
When the kids finally
leave home.
8
00:00:17,978 --> 00:00:20,101
Once we say, "get out!"
9
00:00:20,101 --> 00:00:22,353
That's right,
it has been a long time
10
00:00:22,353 --> 00:00:25,066
Since we've been in the house
alone together.
11
00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:27,198
Yeah, they spent nights
out before,
12
00:00:27,198 --> 00:00:29,650
But they never been out all
at the same time.
13
00:00:29,650 --> 00:00:31,072
Wow, what are we gonna do
14
00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:33,033
When these kids are
all grown, michael?
15
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:36,157
I don't know about you, but
I'm gonna change my address,
16
00:00:36,157 --> 00:00:37,458
My phone number,
my identity.
17
00:00:37,458 --> 00:00:40,081
I'm gonna join the parent
protection program,
18
00:00:40,081 --> 00:00:41,662
And I'm traveling the world.
19
00:00:41,662 --> 00:00:43,834
Now that sounds good to me.
20
00:00:43,834 --> 00:00:45,376
Mm-hmm.
21
00:00:45,376 --> 00:00:48,219
I mean, I really love being
a parent,
22
00:00:48,219 --> 00:00:51,672
But it's gonna be so wonderful
once they leave home.
23
00:00:51,672 --> 00:00:55,726
Which one of them are you
gonna miss the least?
24
00:00:57,348 --> 00:00:59,890
Hmm...
25
00:01:06,987 --> 00:01:09,029
I don't --
that's a tough one.
26
00:01:09,029 --> 00:01:12,032
I guess it's the one that's
given us the most problems.
27
00:01:12,032 --> 00:01:14,995
And that would be, uh...
28
00:01:22,413 --> 00:01:23,664
You think it's claire?
29
00:01:23,664 --> 00:01:25,586
I don't know, babe.
Think about it.
30
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,298
Well, she hasn't been
that bad.
31
00:01:27,298 --> 00:01:30,010
Not if you don't count
falling down all the time.
32
00:01:30,010 --> 00:01:31,632
She doesn't fall down
that much.
33
00:01:31,632 --> 00:01:32,633
Claire?
34
00:01:35,926 --> 00:01:37,978
[ Thumping ]
35
00:01:38,979 --> 00:01:42,143
[ Thumping ]
36
00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:43,564
My computer!
37
00:01:43,564 --> 00:01:46,647
I spent five hours finishing
my paper, and now it's gone!
38
00:01:46,647 --> 00:01:49,029
Oh, and ow.
39
00:01:49,029 --> 00:01:53,944
♪ Swo-o-o-o-o-- ♪
40
00:01:53,944 --> 00:01:55,196
♪ And a little bit of -- ♪
41
00:01:55,196 --> 00:01:57,618
♪ And a little bit of -- ♪
42
00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,039
[ Both laughing ]
43
00:01:59,039 --> 00:02:01,081
Yeah, well, besides her
falling down,
44
00:02:01,081 --> 00:02:03,123
That girl has been a joy
to be around.
45
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,296
What?! [ Groans ]
46
00:02:05,296 --> 00:02:06,837
[ Growls, groans ]
47
00:02:06,837 --> 00:02:07,838
[ Groans ]
48
00:02:07,838 --> 00:02:08,839
[ Scoffs ]
49
00:02:08,839 --> 00:02:09,840
Dah!
50
00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:11,382
[ Screams ]
51
00:02:11,382 --> 00:02:14,675
Besides all the [groans] and
the trouble she's gotten into,
52
00:02:14,675 --> 00:02:17,137
Especially since she started
dating tony,
53
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,680
I wouldn't exactly call her
a joy to be around.
54
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:21,602
Claire and I have decided
to have sexual intercourse.
55
00:02:21,602 --> 00:02:23,103
You son of a --
56
00:02:23,103 --> 00:02:24,225
Michael!
57
00:02:24,225 --> 00:02:25,606
Stop it!
58
00:02:25,606 --> 00:02:28,399
Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!
59
00:02:28,399 --> 00:02:30,611
Dad, you said we could talk
to you about anything.
60
00:02:30,611 --> 00:02:32,363
That's right, michael,
we did say that!
61
00:02:32,363 --> 00:02:34,074
Let's try to be calm
and rational
62
00:02:34,074 --> 00:02:36,076
And listen to what the kids
are trying to tell us!
63
00:02:36,076 --> 00:02:38,038
Thanks, mom, 'cause I
want to have sex, too.
64
00:02:38,038 --> 00:02:39,039
You little --
aah!
65
00:02:39,039 --> 00:02:42,873
[ Shouting indistinctly ]
66
00:02:42,873 --> 00:02:45,045
Hey, everybody.
We're back.
67
00:02:45,045 --> 00:02:47,708
Don't you
"hey, everybody" me!
68
00:02:47,708 --> 00:02:48,709
Michael!
69
00:02:48,709 --> 00:02:52,503
Tony: aah! Aah! Aah!
70
00:02:52,503 --> 00:02:54,174
You little --
71
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,256
Come back!
72
00:02:55,256 --> 00:02:56,387
Michael!
73
00:02:56,387 --> 00:02:57,558
Michael!
74
00:02:57,558 --> 00:02:59,760
We didn't do it!
We didn't do it!
75
00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,061
We didn't do it, dad.
76
00:03:01,061 --> 00:03:03,394
He didn't do it?
They didn't do it.
77
00:03:03,394 --> 00:03:05,686
He didn't do it.
Nothing happened!
78
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:08,859
You pull yourself together,
young man.
79
00:03:08,859 --> 00:03:10,020
Ow!
80
00:03:10,020 --> 00:03:11,902
Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!
81
00:03:11,902 --> 00:03:15,616
I was just trying to -- I was
trying to snap you out of it.
82
00:03:15,616 --> 00:03:18,579
I can't go on without her,
mr. Kyle.
83
00:03:18,579 --> 00:03:20,160
You won't have to, tony.
84
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:21,372
If I know my daughter,
85
00:03:21,372 --> 00:03:24,204
She's probably thinking
about you right now.
86
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,206
Really?
Yeah.
87
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,669
Hi, tony.
What are you doing here?
88
00:03:28,669 --> 00:03:31,292
Who's he?!
89
00:03:31,292 --> 00:03:34,715
Aah!
90
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,757
I've been going over
this hip-hop magazine.
91
00:03:36,757 --> 00:03:38,509
Okay, this is gonna be
our blueprint.
92
00:03:38,509 --> 00:03:40,180
We're gonna use this
to hip you up,
93
00:03:40,180 --> 00:03:42,182
Starting with your speech,
all right?
94
00:03:42,182 --> 00:03:44,054
Now, I highlighted some
very important words
95
00:03:44,054 --> 00:03:46,437
That I want you to incorporate
into your language.
96
00:03:46,437 --> 00:03:48,108
Na-- nahamin.
97
00:03:48,108 --> 00:03:49,229
Nahamem.
98
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,151
No, it's not hebrew.
99
00:03:51,151 --> 00:03:53,233
Okay.
100
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,234
It's ebonics.
101
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,776
It's "knahmean?"
102
00:03:55,776 --> 00:03:57,908
It means "you know what I mean?"
Knahmean?
103
00:03:57,908 --> 00:04:00,120
You just throw it all
together -- knahmean?
104
00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,162
You're good at it, mr. Kyle.
Why don't you do it?
105
00:04:02,162 --> 00:04:04,665
Because I'm not trying
to get my daughter back.
106
00:04:04,665 --> 00:04:07,247
Yeah. That's good.
107
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,248
Oh!
108
00:04:12,212 --> 00:04:13,374
Would you like something?
109
00:04:13,374 --> 00:04:16,006
We have some honeybuns in here
and also some melons.
110
00:04:17,468 --> 00:04:18,969
Oh!
111
00:04:18,969 --> 00:04:22,052
Uh...uh, you got any milk?
112
00:04:22,052 --> 00:04:23,804
Sure, you want some?
113
00:04:23,804 --> 00:04:25,015
Oh, no!
114
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:26,266
[ Crying ]
115
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,559
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
116
00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:30,771
Don't you start that.
We gotta toughen you up.
117
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,353
We're gonna start
with your walk.
118
00:04:32,353 --> 00:04:34,194
We gotta work on your walk,
all right?
119
00:04:34,194 --> 00:04:36,777
Now, just loosen up your knees.
It's all in the knees.
120
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:39,740
Yeah, yeah, and you gotta let
you back be like a flounder.
121
00:04:39,740 --> 00:04:41,071
You don't have no spine.
122
00:04:41,071 --> 00:04:42,743
Just hang low,
like this here.
123
00:04:42,743 --> 00:04:45,666
You got weighted knuckles that
just drag, like this here.
124
00:04:45,666 --> 00:04:47,708
You walkin' around like
life is hard.
125
00:04:47,708 --> 00:04:49,910
There's a million dollars
on the ground.
126
00:04:49,910 --> 00:04:51,582
You're just lookin'.
127
00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:01,091
What are you doing?
128
00:05:01,091 --> 00:05:03,223
Picking up
the million dollars.
129
00:05:03,223 --> 00:05:05,225
It's tax-free
'cause we found it.
130
00:05:07,227 --> 00:05:09,139
Is that tony?
131
00:05:09,139 --> 00:05:10,391
Where?
132
00:05:10,391 --> 00:05:13,063
Right there, this naked boy
running towards us.
133
00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:15,396
Go, tony!
It's your birthday!
134
00:05:15,396 --> 00:05:17,988
Go, tony!
It's your birthday!
135
00:05:17,988 --> 00:05:20,401
[ Hip-hop music plays ]
136
00:05:32,713 --> 00:05:34,505
Aah!
137
00:05:34,505 --> 00:05:39,129
Um, what does "it"
feel like?
138
00:05:39,129 --> 00:05:41,882
You've never done --
no.
139
00:05:41,882 --> 00:05:44,725
You've never even --
never.
140
00:05:44,725 --> 00:05:46,927
You know what?
I can help you.
141
00:05:46,927 --> 00:05:48,058
Sit down, sit down.
142
00:05:48,058 --> 00:05:51,021
I can tell you what it's
gonna feel like.
143
00:05:51,021 --> 00:05:54,104
I want you to put your hands
up on the table here,
144
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:57,187
And I want you to visualize
you and claire.
145
00:05:57,187 --> 00:06:00,030
Close your eyes.
See you writhing in ecstasy.
146
00:06:00,030 --> 00:06:02,152
You got that image
in your head?
147
00:06:02,152 --> 00:06:03,654
You got it?
Yeah.
148
00:06:03,654 --> 00:06:05,446
Ow! My hands!
149
00:06:05,446 --> 00:06:06,747
Aah! Aah!
150
00:06:06,747 --> 00:06:08,248
Aah! My eyes!
151
00:06:08,248 --> 00:06:09,950
My eyes! Aah!
152
00:06:09,950 --> 00:06:14,044
That's why you shouldn't
do it, tony.
153
00:06:14,044 --> 00:06:15,996
Well, I guess there has been
a few incidents.
154
00:06:15,996 --> 00:06:18,258
A few? [ Groans ]
155
00:06:18,258 --> 00:06:19,630
[ Scoffs ]
156
00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:23,383
Get the fur ball out
and change the dress.
157
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,175
[ Scoffs ]
158
00:06:25,175 --> 00:06:27,808
You [scoffs] one more time,
I'm gonna choke you for real.
159
00:06:27,808 --> 00:06:31,221
As you grow up, sooner or later,
like one day,
160
00:06:31,221 --> 00:06:34,184
You're probably gonna have
your first kiss.
161
00:06:34,184 --> 00:06:35,816
Daddy --
hear me out.
162
00:06:35,816 --> 00:06:38,358
It's gonna happen
whether I like it or not.
163
00:06:38,358 --> 00:06:40,070
And I just want you to know
164
00:06:40,070 --> 00:06:42,022
That kissing can lead
to touching,
165
00:06:42,022 --> 00:06:44,575
And touching can lead
to grandchildren.
166
00:06:46,617 --> 00:06:49,790
So when you do have
that first kiss,
167
00:06:49,790 --> 00:06:52,162
Stick to kissing,
you know?
168
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:54,535
'Cause there's nothing wrong
169
00:06:54,535 --> 00:06:58,128
With a good 10, 15 years
of just kissing.
170
00:06:58,128 --> 00:07:00,541
I understand, daddy.
171
00:07:00,541 --> 00:07:03,093
Okay.
172
00:07:04,384 --> 00:07:06,256
Ah, that felt good.
173
00:07:09,219 --> 00:07:11,261
And, dad...
174
00:07:11,261 --> 00:07:13,854
Just for the record,
even after I'm married,
175
00:07:13,854 --> 00:07:15,766
I'll always be
your little girl.
176
00:07:20,270 --> 00:07:21,692
I love you.
177
00:07:28,278 --> 00:07:29,740
[ Chuckles ]
178
00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:32,242
Yeah, I guess all in all,
claire is pretty sweet.
179
00:07:32,242 --> 00:07:34,705
Yeah, right.
I might actually miss that one.
180
00:07:34,705 --> 00:07:36,627
But what about
the little one?
181
00:07:36,627 --> 00:07:39,079
We have a lot less time
invested in her.
182
00:07:39,079 --> 00:07:40,961
Yeah, but,
on the other hand,
183
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,883
She had less time to be
a problem.
184
00:07:42,883 --> 00:07:44,134
I don't know about that.
185
00:07:44,134 --> 00:07:47,047
She's packed a whole lot of
trouble into a very short time.
186
00:07:47,047 --> 00:07:50,090
Daddy, I made you some
chicken-noodle soup.
187
00:07:50,090 --> 00:07:51,932
Aw, that's sweet.
188
00:07:51,932 --> 00:07:52,973
Thank you.
189
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:56,226
Hey, what's this?
190
00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:58,058
I put a prize in it.
191
00:07:58,058 --> 00:07:59,770
Wow!
192
00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:01,061
Taste it.
193
00:08:04,154 --> 00:08:06,867
Did you get this water
out the toilet
194
00:08:06,867 --> 00:08:08,158
Like the last time?
195
00:08:08,158 --> 00:08:11,071
No, silly.
196
00:08:12,282 --> 00:08:13,574
The fish tank.
197
00:08:22,753 --> 00:08:23,884
Oh!
198
00:08:23,884 --> 00:08:25,676
Oh, wow!
199
00:08:25,676 --> 00:08:27,588
The baby!
200
00:08:27,588 --> 00:08:29,680
God!
201
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,471
The baby fell in the pool.
202
00:08:31,471 --> 00:08:32,683
What happened?!
203
00:08:32,683 --> 00:08:34,895
Mommy said
don't get too close.
204
00:08:34,895 --> 00:08:35,896
You pushed me!
205
00:08:35,896 --> 00:08:37,728
No, I was trying
to catch you.
206
00:08:37,728 --> 00:08:39,059
With your foot?
207
00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:44,985
Lemon aids, lemon aids!
Cold, refreshing lemon aids!
208
00:08:44,985 --> 00:08:46,316
Come and get it!
209
00:08:46,316 --> 00:08:49,029
I did what you said.
210
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,321
What did I say?
211
00:08:51,321 --> 00:08:55,155
You said, "try getting pudding
through this," and I did.
212
00:08:55,155 --> 00:08:56,747
Ta-da!
213
00:08:56,747 --> 00:08:58,579
[ Gasps ] oh!
214
00:08:58,579 --> 00:08:59,790
Let me ask you something.
215
00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:01,541
You would never lie to me,
would you?
216
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,213
Never, daddy.
217
00:09:03,213 --> 00:09:04,665
Okay, so, is daddy, like,
218
00:09:04,665 --> 00:09:07,167
The best-looking guy
in the whole world?
219
00:09:07,167 --> 00:09:11,171
Well, you're no
george clooney.
220
00:09:11,171 --> 00:09:12,222
Where's your shoe?
221
00:09:12,222 --> 00:09:13,303
I have no idea.
222
00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:15,055
Let's retrace your steps.
223
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,848
Number one,
did you go in your room?
No.
224
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:19,980
Number two, did you go
in the bathroom?
Yes.
225
00:09:19,980 --> 00:09:22,983
Number three, in the bathroom,
what did you do?
Number two.
226
00:09:22,983 --> 00:09:24,484
Number two?
Number two.
227
00:09:24,484 --> 00:09:27,527
Okay, so the answer
to number three is number two.
228
00:09:27,527 --> 00:09:29,069
I did number one, too.
229
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,742
Okay, so the answer
to number three
230
00:09:31,742 --> 00:09:34,074
Is number one
and number two, too.
231
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:38,198
I have no idea.
232
00:09:38,198 --> 00:09:41,081
Neither do i.
233
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:44,254
Okay, you sit here,
and daddy wants you to show me
234
00:09:44,254 --> 00:09:47,047
Exactly what you did
in that bathroom.
235
00:09:47,047 --> 00:09:50,130
No, no, no! Not --
236
00:09:50,130 --> 00:09:52,172
What did you do
with your feet?
237
00:09:52,172 --> 00:09:55,055
I was kicking my legs
like this,
238
00:09:55,055 --> 00:09:56,887
And my shoe flew off.
239
00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:59,019
Aaahh!
240
00:09:59,019 --> 00:10:00,480
I need to confess.
241
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,062
Confess about what?
242
00:10:02,062 --> 00:10:06,026
Claire didn't steal
those nail polishes.
243
00:10:06,026 --> 00:10:07,187
I did.
244
00:10:07,187 --> 00:10:08,819
No, you didn't.
245
00:10:08,819 --> 00:10:10,030
Okay. Good night.
246
00:10:10,030 --> 00:10:11,281
It really makes me sad
247
00:10:11,281 --> 00:10:13,613
To know that I can't
make you happy
248
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,075
While your mom's gone.
249
00:10:15,075 --> 00:10:16,576
'Cause the truth is, kady,
250
00:10:16,576 --> 00:10:18,869
I've been trying to win
your heart
251
00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:20,290
Ever since you were born.
252
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:30,010
Keep trying, baldy.
253
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:40,180
Okay, so there's no way I'm not
gonna miss my little kady.
254
00:10:40,180 --> 00:10:41,521
That's right.
255
00:10:41,521 --> 00:10:44,264
She has brought a lot of fun
into our lives.
256
00:10:44,264 --> 00:10:45,435
Yeah, and without her,
257
00:10:45,435 --> 00:10:48,318
We would have never met
franklin aloysius mumford.
258
00:10:48,318 --> 00:10:50,230
Well, it's nice to meet you,
frankie.
259
00:10:50,230 --> 00:10:52,072
It's franklin.
260
00:10:52,072 --> 00:10:53,153
Oh, okay, frank.
261
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,195
Franklin.
262
00:10:55,195 --> 00:10:57,868
Oh, all right,
frankfurter.
263
00:10:58,989 --> 00:11:00,160
Break a leg, franken berry.
264
00:11:02,372 --> 00:11:04,204
Let it go.
265
00:11:04,204 --> 00:11:07,337
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
266
00:11:08,498 --> 00:11:10,590
Listen up this time.
267
00:11:10,590 --> 00:11:13,673
What is
a vector derivative?
268
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,966
I think that's what sulu
caught from the klingons.
269
00:11:15,966 --> 00:11:17,217
[ Laughs ]
270
00:11:17,217 --> 00:11:18,508
No.
271
00:11:18,508 --> 00:11:20,260
A vector derivative
272
00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:24,394
Is the derivative taken with
respect to a vector field.
273
00:11:30,811 --> 00:11:33,073
Oh, my god!
What is that thing?
274
00:11:33,073 --> 00:11:34,614
It's an uncooked chicken.
275
00:11:34,614 --> 00:11:37,197
Well, it looks gross.
Let's cook it.
276
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:38,198
What do I do?
277
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,240
Well, first,
you have to clean it.
278
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,372
Okay, I'll put it
in the dishwasher.
279
00:11:42,372 --> 00:11:43,283
Light cycle, right?
280
00:11:43,283 --> 00:11:45,325
[ Laughs ]
281
00:11:47,327 --> 00:11:48,708
It's funnier in latin.
282
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:51,211
Let's see.
283
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,333
[ Speaking latin ]
284
00:11:57,337 --> 00:12:00,680
[ Speaking
oriental language ]
285
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:05,265
[ Speaking latin ]
286
00:12:05,265 --> 00:12:06,266
[ Laughs ]
287
00:12:06,266 --> 00:12:08,268
You're right.
It is funnier in latin.
288
00:12:14,524 --> 00:12:16,316
Let's drink some of that
colored water
289
00:12:16,316 --> 00:12:18,859
Saturated with
high-fructose corn syrup,
290
00:12:18,859 --> 00:12:20,200
Get a huge sugar rush going,
291
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:23,033
And then watch hours of
insipid animated marsupials
292
00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:24,704
Sing and dance their way
through a jungle
293
00:12:24,704 --> 00:12:28,288
Festooned with product placement
featuring candy-laced cereals
294
00:12:28,288 --> 00:12:31,171
That will no doubt destroy
my pancreas before I'm 12
295
00:12:31,171 --> 00:12:33,253
And leave me twitching
in a diabetic coma.
296
00:12:43,683 --> 00:12:46,056
[ Irish music plays ]
297
00:12:52,152 --> 00:12:55,565
[ "Once upon a dream" plays ]
298
00:13:02,242 --> 00:13:05,285
[ Russian music plays ]
299
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,957
Isn't she great?
300
00:13:06,957 --> 00:13:08,618
Isn't she great?
301
00:13:08,618 --> 00:13:10,580
Isn't she great?
302
00:13:10,580 --> 00:13:12,172
Anyhoo...
303
00:13:12,172 --> 00:13:14,584
Anyhoo...
304
00:13:14,584 --> 00:13:16,086
Anyhoo...
305
00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:18,048
Anyhoo...
306
00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:20,380
Anyhoo...
Anyhoo...
307
00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:22,422
Anyhoo...
308
00:13:22,422 --> 00:13:23,884
[ Laughs ]
309
00:13:23,884 --> 00:13:27,387
We've narrowed it down
to one.
310
00:13:27,387 --> 00:13:30,230
However...
311
00:13:30,230 --> 00:13:31,311
We have to face it.
312
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,233
This has always been
a no-brainer.
313
00:13:33,233 --> 00:13:40,320
And speaking of no brains,
guess who tops the list?
314
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:41,571
Check it out.
315
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:42,572
What?
316
00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:43,944
My mustache is coming in.
317
00:13:43,944 --> 00:13:47,287
Get out of here.
Well, look at that.
318
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,622
You know,
in a couple of years,
319
00:13:52,622 --> 00:13:55,295
That might start looking
like some real hair.
320
00:13:55,295 --> 00:13:57,417
Dad, I got real hair
growing all over.
321
00:13:57,417 --> 00:13:59,339
Look at this.
No, no, no.
322
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:00,840
I want to know --
323
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:04,885
What did you do the other
night when I left the house?
324
00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:06,766
Okay, okay, okay!
I'll tell you.
325
00:14:06,766 --> 00:14:09,559
I accidentally ordered
"star whores" on pay-per-view.
326
00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:10,971
Accidentally?
327
00:14:10,971 --> 00:14:13,313
Yeah.
See, I meant to order
328
00:14:13,313 --> 00:14:15,896
"I know who you did
last summer."
329
00:14:18,818 --> 00:14:20,360
And then what did you do?
330
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:23,653
Well, I skimmed over
the first three minutes,
331
00:14:23,653 --> 00:14:25,325
Then I fell asleep.
332
00:14:25,325 --> 00:14:28,538
You just fell asleep.
It wasn't good enough, huh?
333
00:14:28,538 --> 00:14:30,200
No, it was good,
334
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,914
But after three minutes,
I was exhausted.
335
00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:35,335
Open the door.
336
00:14:35,335 --> 00:14:36,917
I can't do that either.
337
00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:38,208
Why not?
338
00:14:38,208 --> 00:14:40,380
'Cause I put the combination
lock on the door,
339
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,302
And now I can't see it
to unlock it.
340
00:14:42,302 --> 00:14:44,004
And why'd you lock
the door?
341
00:14:44,004 --> 00:14:47,007
'Cause I wanted to get naked
while I look for the flashlight.
342
00:14:47,007 --> 00:14:51,771
There's nothing you can't beat
if you just believe in yourself.
343
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,644
Honey, what's wrong?
344
00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:58,278
Where's dad?
345
00:14:58,278 --> 00:15:00,860
He's in a meeting.
What's wrong with you?
346
00:15:00,860 --> 00:15:02,862
Nothing.
I just got to talk to dad.
347
00:15:02,862 --> 00:15:03,863
Junior!
348
00:15:03,863 --> 00:15:05,235
I'm fine.
349
00:15:05,235 --> 00:15:06,786
You're obviously not.
350
00:15:06,786 --> 00:15:08,158
Where does it hurt?
351
00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:09,990
I can't tell you.
352
00:15:09,990 --> 00:15:12,292
You can tell me anything.
353
00:15:12,292 --> 00:15:15,335
Now, tell me,
what is the problem?
354
00:15:15,335 --> 00:15:19,209
I think I broke it.
355
00:15:19,209 --> 00:15:21,541
Good idea, baby.
356
00:15:21,541 --> 00:15:25,005
What the hell is wrong
with this boy?
357
00:15:25,005 --> 00:15:27,968
Hey, hey, hey, baretta,
come here.
358
00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:31,181
You roll over this car
one more time,
359
00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:33,643
The car
gonna roll over you.
360
00:15:35,815 --> 00:15:38,318
Put some back into it.
You fight like kady.
361
00:15:38,318 --> 00:15:40,270
What you doing?
You can't hit me, boy.
362
00:15:40,270 --> 00:15:42,322
Look, I'll roy jones you.
Look.
363
00:15:42,322 --> 00:15:43,273
[ Bell dings ]
364
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,372
[ Whistles ]
365
00:15:52,372 --> 00:15:55,335
[ Engine rumbling loudly ]
366
00:15:55,335 --> 00:15:58,378
[ Coughing ]
367
00:15:58,378 --> 00:16:01,171
[ Engine sputtering ]
368
00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:06,546
Michael,
will you look at this?
369
00:16:06,546 --> 00:16:10,390
The boy got a lawn chair
for a front seat, michael.
370
00:16:10,390 --> 00:16:14,264
That's cool, isn't it, mom?
You see, this is what I do.
371
00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:17,267
I can drive it
and lean all the way back.
372
00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:19,359
You're not driving
this piece of crap.
373
00:16:19,359 --> 00:16:21,401
Mom, this is not
a piece of crap.
374
00:16:21,401 --> 00:16:23,403
She's unique.
She has character.
375
00:16:23,403 --> 00:16:24,814
She may have character,
376
00:16:24,814 --> 00:16:26,906
But she doesn't have
a front seat,
377
00:16:26,906 --> 00:16:29,779
Which means, boy, that she
doesn't have a seat belt.
378
00:16:29,779 --> 00:16:31,241
Oh, sure she does. See?
379
00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:33,873
I just take this rope and tie it
around my waist twice
380
00:16:33,873 --> 00:16:35,875
And then hook it onto
the door handle,
381
00:16:35,875 --> 00:16:37,377
Just like the guy showed me.
382
00:16:37,377 --> 00:16:39,829
Yeah, and he probably threw
that rope in free, huh?
383
00:16:39,829 --> 00:16:40,960
Yeah, how'd you know?
384
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:43,963
Because you negotiated.
Exactly.
385
00:16:43,963 --> 00:16:46,926
I'm about to have a stroke.
I'm about to have a stroke.
386
00:16:46,926 --> 00:16:49,179
Be a father.
Be a father.
387
00:16:49,179 --> 00:16:51,551
You want to unlock your mind,
this is the key.
388
00:16:52,842 --> 00:16:54,434
What did you give me, man?
389
00:16:54,434 --> 00:16:56,596
Things are starting
to get weird.
390
00:16:56,596 --> 00:16:59,189
This stuff must be stronger
than I thought.
391
00:17:01,561 --> 00:17:03,853
Oh, man!
Oh, man!
392
00:17:03,853 --> 00:17:05,855
Hi, is mr. Kyle home?
393
00:17:05,855 --> 00:17:08,778
[ Spanish accent ]
sorry, he's no here.
394
00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:11,111
It just me, manny.
Can I take a message?
395
00:17:11,111 --> 00:17:14,244
Sure. Can you tell him
his son stopped by?
396
00:17:14,244 --> 00:17:16,116
Which son?
The oldest.
397
00:17:16,116 --> 00:17:18,958
Is this junior?
Yeah, it's junior.
398
00:17:18,958 --> 00:17:20,500
[ Normal voice ]
get in here, boy.
399
00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:21,541
Hey, dad, you're back.
400
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,163
Did manny give you
my message?
401
00:17:24,874 --> 00:17:26,466
[ Cellphone rings ]
402
00:17:26,466 --> 00:17:28,088
Hello?
Uh...no.
403
00:17:28,088 --> 00:17:29,589
Come on, dad, please!
404
00:17:29,589 --> 00:17:33,093
I'll never get this car done
if I have to pay for it myself.
405
00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:36,346
Junior, you don't want me
involved with this.
Yes, I do.
406
00:17:36,346 --> 00:17:38,308
No, you don't.
Yes, I do, I do!
407
00:17:38,308 --> 00:17:42,272
You understand that if I get
involved [imitating static]
408
00:17:42,272 --> 00:17:45,235
And if you don't care that
[imitating static]
409
00:17:45,235 --> 00:17:47,777
I don't care at all.
I know, dad.
410
00:17:47,777 --> 00:17:50,490
Because [imitating static]
absolutely.
411
00:17:50,490 --> 00:17:54,194
Yeah? Then you agree
to those terms.
Completely.
412
00:17:54,194 --> 00:17:55,865
Okay. [ Imitating static ]
413
00:17:55,865 --> 00:17:58,458
Dad, I'm losing you.
Can you hear me now?
414
00:17:58,458 --> 00:17:59,869
Can you hear me now?
415
00:17:59,869 --> 00:18:02,292
Dad, are you going through
the canyon?
416
00:18:02,292 --> 00:18:03,793
Ow!
417
00:18:03,793 --> 00:18:06,586
Dad, do you mind?
I'm talking to my father.
418
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:07,587
Hello?
419
00:18:09,919 --> 00:18:14,634
I entitled this one
"suburban pain."
420
00:18:14,634 --> 00:18:15,765
Kill! Punch! Stab!
421
00:18:15,765 --> 00:18:18,678
Bleed.
422
00:18:21,981 --> 00:18:24,314
Why is this suburban kid
so mad?
423
00:18:24,314 --> 00:18:25,605
Hmph.
424
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:28,858
I have no clue.
425
00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:30,400
But I'm sad.
426
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,572
I like to hurt all of you!
427
00:18:34,234 --> 00:18:37,367
But I got to make it home
by curfew.
428
00:18:39,329 --> 00:18:40,620
So until I'm free
429
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:44,584
From all this love my family
"supposedly" giving me,
430
00:18:47,337 --> 00:18:49,879
I'm gonna be mad...
431
00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:53,253
For no damn reason.
432
00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:01,641
I love you, dad.
433
00:19:07,937 --> 00:19:09,689
[ Whistling ]
434
00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:16,656
Oh, man.
There's no more cheese.
435
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,283
[ Mousetrap snaps ]
we got him!
436
00:19:23,283 --> 00:19:27,667
Aah! Aah! Get it off!
Get it off! Aah!
437
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,339
I've decided to go
to college.
438
00:19:29,339 --> 00:19:31,291
Baby!
439
00:19:31,291 --> 00:19:32,592
And guess what?
440
00:19:32,592 --> 00:19:34,424
I've already been accepted
at two schools.
441
00:19:34,424 --> 00:19:37,297
Oh!
442
00:19:37,297 --> 00:19:40,179
Plus I'm wait-listed at
a real school, reddington.
443
00:19:45,515 --> 00:19:48,067
Maybe you're right, dad,
and I'm sorry I lied,
444
00:19:48,067 --> 00:19:50,690
But it doesn't change the fact
that I'm growing up.
445
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,402
You've got to loosen
the reins.
446
00:19:52,402 --> 00:19:55,024
Trust is something you're
gonna have to earn.
447
00:19:55,024 --> 00:19:56,366
That's how you get freedom.
448
00:19:56,366 --> 00:19:59,118
Apparently,
we're not gonna settle this,
449
00:19:59,118 --> 00:20:00,780
So where do we go from here?
450
00:20:00,780 --> 00:20:04,203
I guess we have to meet
somewhere in the middle,
451
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,875
Try to make things right.
452
00:20:05,875 --> 00:20:07,247
How?
453
00:20:07,247 --> 00:20:11,791
Wipe the slate clean,
start from scratch.
454
00:20:11,791 --> 00:20:12,832
Deal?
455
00:20:12,832 --> 00:20:14,294
Deal.
456
00:20:16,095 --> 00:20:19,389
Come here.
457
00:20:21,301 --> 00:20:23,142
I ain't ready
to let go yet.
458
00:20:23,142 --> 00:20:27,267
Do you mean that literally
or figuratively?
459
00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:29,769
Both.
460
00:20:29,769 --> 00:20:32,482
Eventually,
we'll both starve.
461
00:20:40,570 --> 00:20:43,162
Yeah, well, there's
no question about it --
462
00:20:43,162 --> 00:20:45,124
Junior has given us
the most trouble.
463
00:20:45,124 --> 00:20:46,456
And the most laughs.
464
00:20:46,456 --> 00:20:48,167
The boy's got a good heart.
465
00:20:48,167 --> 00:20:50,079
He got a hard-ass head,
though.
466
00:20:50,079 --> 00:20:51,130
[ Laughs ]
467
00:20:51,130 --> 00:20:53,002
All in all, I think we did
a very good job
468
00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:54,173
Raising these kids.
469
00:20:54,173 --> 00:20:56,005
Boy, I just hope
it pays off.
470
00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:57,136
What do you mean?
471
00:20:57,136 --> 00:20:59,549
Well, the whole idea
of having children
472
00:20:59,549 --> 00:21:02,682
Is you raise them, you spend
all this time and effort,
473
00:21:02,682 --> 00:21:05,144
And you hope that
they bring home the cash.
474
00:21:05,144 --> 00:21:06,936
The cash?!
475
00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:10,099
[ Rapping ] ♪ open the door,
close the door ♪
476
00:21:10,099 --> 00:21:12,942
♪ I am so confused ♪
477
00:21:12,942 --> 00:21:15,274
♪ Lost in
the friction of life ♪
478
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:21,160
♪ No! I have never read
a diction-ary in my life ♪
479
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,162
♪ Quite scary ♪
480
00:21:23,162 --> 00:21:26,115
♪ Mary, mary,
quite con-trary ♪
481
00:21:26,115 --> 00:21:27,707
Isn't it?
32909
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