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1
00:00:02,963 --> 00:00:04,755
Why do you have
the car covered
2
00:00:04,755 --> 00:00:06,757
If everybody knows
what it looks like?
3
00:00:06,757 --> 00:00:08,759
Nobody knows
what it looks like finished,
4
00:00:08,759 --> 00:00:10,341
So let the family in.
5
00:00:10,341 --> 00:00:11,592
Okay.
6
00:00:13,594 --> 00:00:15,766
All right, this better be good
to pull me away
7
00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:17,438
From my lebron james game.
8
00:00:17,438 --> 00:00:19,980
Is it a pony?
No, it's better
than a pony.
9
00:00:19,980 --> 00:00:22,233
Is it candy?
No, but it's
just as sweet.
10
00:00:22,233 --> 00:00:23,484
Is it for me?
No!
11
00:00:23,484 --> 00:00:24,855
See ya.
Bye.
12
00:00:24,855 --> 00:00:27,068
Okay...
13
00:00:27,068 --> 00:00:30,361
After 12 long months and hours
and hours of backbreaking work,
14
00:00:30,361 --> 00:00:32,363
Lois is finally complete.
15
00:00:32,363 --> 00:00:34,155
Why are cars
always female?
16
00:00:34,155 --> 00:00:36,577
They got nice, soft backseats,
pretty headlights,
17
00:00:36,577 --> 00:00:38,419
And they cost
a lot of money to run.
18
00:00:38,419 --> 00:00:40,251
Shut up.
Come on, let's see her.
19
00:00:40,251 --> 00:00:42,423
Okay, look, everybody,
close your eyes,
20
00:00:42,423 --> 00:00:45,086
Take a deep breath,
turn around, count to 75,
21
00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:47,258
And when I say
"oochy walla walla,"
22
00:00:47,258 --> 00:00:50,671
I want you to turn back around,
hold hands, clap three times --
23
00:00:50,671 --> 00:00:53,434
Boy, just take
the cover off the damn car!
Okay, okay, okay.
24
00:00:53,434 --> 00:00:56,477
Ladies and gentlemen,
junior kyle finally presents
25
00:00:56,477 --> 00:00:59,480
His fully restored
1964 impala.
26
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,562
I give you lois.
27
00:01:06,026 --> 00:01:09,400
[ Gasps ]
junior, sh-- she's beautiful!
28
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:11,242
I'm proud of you, son.
29
00:01:11,242 --> 00:01:13,534
You finally finished
something that you started.
30
00:01:13,534 --> 00:01:15,406
Mnh-mnh, not true.
What about this?
31
00:01:15,406 --> 00:01:18,038
I'm talking about
something that took
longer than 30 seconds.
32
00:01:18,038 --> 00:01:20,080
You told him, junior?!
33
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,253
I mean, I bragged a little.
34
00:01:22,253 --> 00:01:24,755
This isn't better
than a pony!
35
00:01:24,755 --> 00:01:27,087
It is.
There are 350 ponies in here.
36
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:30,090
Look, everybody pile in.
We're gonna take lois
out for her first ride.
37
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,092
I think it'd be
more appropriate
38
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,094
If you take vanessa
for the first ride.
39
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:36,056
Okay.
Your chariot awaits you.
40
00:01:36,056 --> 00:01:38,058
Thank you, sir.
You're welcome.
41
00:01:38,058 --> 00:01:39,680
Isn't this great?
42
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:42,893
Our baby boy is finally starting
to act like a grown man.
43
00:01:42,893 --> 00:01:44,275
He sure is.
44
00:01:44,275 --> 00:01:47,107
Hey, daddy, can I have
some money for gas?
45
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,189
No!
46
00:02:01,001 --> 00:02:03,794
Hey, frankenpuss,
what's up?
47
00:02:03,794 --> 00:02:05,376
Frankenpuss.
48
00:02:05,376 --> 00:02:08,749
Yet another hilarious variation
on my name.
49
00:02:08,749 --> 00:02:12,553
And that's just the kind
of creativity I'm looking for.
50
00:02:12,553 --> 00:02:15,015
[ Sighs ]
51
00:02:16,096 --> 00:02:17,848
[ Sighs louder ]
52
00:02:18,929 --> 00:02:20,811
[ Sighs louder ]
53
00:02:20,811 --> 00:02:23,184
All right, all right,
what do you want?
54
00:02:23,184 --> 00:02:25,936
There's a dark cloud
hanging over my head.
55
00:02:25,936 --> 00:02:27,728
That's because
you're this high.
56
00:02:27,728 --> 00:02:29,820
Everything hangs over your head.
[ Laughs ]
57
00:02:29,820 --> 00:02:33,113
A short joke.
How do you do it?
58
00:02:36,277 --> 00:02:39,330
All right, look,
what's on your mind?
59
00:02:39,330 --> 00:02:42,373
Well, I feel
a sense of displacement.
60
00:02:42,373 --> 00:02:44,625
I'm out of touch
with my generation.
61
00:02:44,625 --> 00:02:47,418
I want to be a regular kid,
but I don't know how.
62
00:02:47,418 --> 00:02:50,341
Look, if you want to be
a regular kid...
63
00:02:50,341 --> 00:02:52,963
You gotta put fiber
in your diet!
64
00:02:52,963 --> 00:02:55,386
[ Laughs ]
whoa, sorry!
65
00:02:55,386 --> 00:02:57,798
Anywho...
66
00:02:57,798 --> 00:03:00,010
I feel like an outcast
on the playground.
67
00:03:00,010 --> 00:03:02,803
The kids won't talk to me,
the teacher's intimidated by me,
68
00:03:02,803 --> 00:03:04,605
And the principal
has hated me
69
00:03:04,605 --> 00:03:06,397
Ever since
the board of education
70
00:03:06,397 --> 00:03:09,019
Passed the franklin
alouiscious mumford bill.
71
00:03:09,019 --> 00:03:12,773
What's that?
Booster sheets in the college
prep classes, duh!
72
00:03:12,773 --> 00:03:14,445
Well, that's too bad,
franklin,
73
00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:16,867
But you do seem to get along
with kady just fine.
74
00:03:16,867 --> 00:03:19,029
Well, yeah, that's different.
I'm in love with kady.
75
00:03:19,029 --> 00:03:21,201
It's the rest of the kids
in the world
76
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,993
That I have
a problem with.
77
00:03:22,993 --> 00:03:25,035
One time this kid walked up
to me and asked me,
78
00:03:25,035 --> 00:03:26,827
"Why is the sky blue?"
79
00:03:26,827 --> 00:03:28,999
I told him, and he looked at me
like I'm nuts.
80
00:03:28,999 --> 00:03:31,832
That's because kids don't want
to learn new information.
81
00:03:31,832 --> 00:03:34,214
Everybody knows
that's because of the sun
82
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,387
Reflecting off the oceans
and the lakes, right?
83
00:03:36,387 --> 00:03:38,389
No.
No?
84
00:03:38,389 --> 00:03:40,641
It involves refracted sunlight
at an atmospheric density.
85
00:03:40,641 --> 00:03:42,012
You wanna hear more?
86
00:03:42,012 --> 00:03:45,225
No, but how come
when I do this...
87
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,727
This happens?
88
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,309
Ow!
89
00:03:48,309 --> 00:03:51,522
Perhaps I should seek the advice
of someone more mature...
90
00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:53,233
Maybe a sixth grader.
91
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,616
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
hold on, hold on.
92
00:03:55,616 --> 00:03:59,199
I'm serious
about this, mr. Kyle.
93
00:03:59,199 --> 00:04:01,071
I'm tired
of being special.
94
00:04:01,071 --> 00:04:02,663
I wanna be a real boy.
95
00:04:02,663 --> 00:04:04,665
And you make
any "pinocchio" jokes,
96
00:04:04,665 --> 00:04:06,667
I'm gonna kick you
in the shins!
97
00:04:06,667 --> 00:04:09,079
Look, franklin, if you wanna be
like the other kids,
98
00:04:09,079 --> 00:04:11,041
Then you have to do
what the other kids do.
99
00:04:11,041 --> 00:04:12,673
Simple things.
100
00:04:12,673 --> 00:04:14,044
Like calculus?
101
00:04:14,044 --> 00:04:16,006
Simpler.
Trigonometry?
102
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:18,138
I was thinking
more like dodge ball.
103
00:04:18,138 --> 00:04:19,970
Dodge ball?
What is that?
104
00:04:19,970 --> 00:04:21,592
Is it scientific?
105
00:04:21,592 --> 00:04:23,143
Actually it is.
106
00:04:23,143 --> 00:04:26,597
It has to do with
aerodynamic evasive tactics.
107
00:04:26,597 --> 00:04:29,149
That sounds fascinating!
How does it work?
108
00:04:29,149 --> 00:04:31,191
Oh, like this.
109
00:04:33,484 --> 00:04:36,106
What does that
have to do with science?
110
00:04:36,106 --> 00:04:37,898
Good question.
111
00:04:37,898 --> 00:04:40,951
See, the inertia from
that projectile times your mass
112
00:04:40,951 --> 00:04:43,364
Equals bruises on your butt.
[ Laughs ]
113
00:04:44,955 --> 00:04:47,538
Here, let me help you up.
114
00:04:47,538 --> 00:04:48,709
Ow!
115
00:04:48,709 --> 00:04:50,501
[ Laughs ] got you again!
116
00:04:50,501 --> 00:04:52,913
I don't like this game,
mr. Kyle.
117
00:04:52,913 --> 00:04:55,175
Look, franklin,
you're a genius, okay?
118
00:04:55,175 --> 00:04:57,678
You're the smartest kid
I've ever met.
119
00:04:57,678 --> 00:05:00,801
And I believe that
you're smart enough
to dumb yourself down,
120
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,684
And I'm just the guy
to help you out. Deal?
121
00:05:05,686 --> 00:05:07,808
Deal!
Ow!
122
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,390
[ Chuckles ]
123
00:05:15,776 --> 00:05:17,938
It's so beautiful
up there tonight.
124
00:05:17,938 --> 00:05:20,150
Yeah, well,
it's beautiful down here, too.
125
00:05:20,150 --> 00:05:21,902
Aw.
126
00:05:23,904 --> 00:05:25,786
I love you.
127
00:05:25,786 --> 00:05:27,708
I love you, too.
128
00:05:29,710 --> 00:05:32,583
[ Sighs ] I wonder why
the sky is blue during the day
129
00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:34,164
And black at night.
130
00:05:34,164 --> 00:05:35,756
Oh, I know this one.
131
00:05:35,756 --> 00:05:37,798
You see, during the day,
the sky is blue
132
00:05:37,798 --> 00:05:40,050
Because it reflects off
the lakes and oceans,
133
00:05:40,050 --> 00:05:42,092
But at night,
it reflects off the roads.
134
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:44,264
[ Laughs ] junior,
you're so interesting.
135
00:05:44,264 --> 00:05:46,517
Yeah -- hey,
I just thought of something!
136
00:05:46,517 --> 00:05:48,519
If we painted
all the roads blue,
137
00:05:48,519 --> 00:05:50,731
Then there would be light out
24 hours a day.
138
00:05:50,731 --> 00:05:52,933
Then after 6:00 p.m.,
We'd call it "lighttime."
139
00:05:52,933 --> 00:05:54,895
And then people would say
"g'light" to each other,
140
00:05:54,895 --> 00:05:56,527
Or "light light."
141
00:05:56,527 --> 00:05:58,779
And we'd go
to a "light club."
Shh! Shh!
142
00:05:58,779 --> 00:06:01,572
[ Laughing ]
okay, okay, I get it.
143
00:06:01,572 --> 00:06:03,784
[ Both sigh ]
144
00:06:03,784 --> 00:06:06,196
I wonder if our baby
will ever go to the moon.
145
00:06:06,196 --> 00:06:07,788
The moon would be nice,
146
00:06:07,788 --> 00:06:10,120
But I'm just hoping
our baby goes to college.
147
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,332
Hey, maybe they'll put
a college on the moon --
148
00:06:12,332 --> 00:06:13,704
A moon-iversity!
149
00:06:13,704 --> 00:06:16,126
And the football team
would be called the lunar-tics,
150
00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:18,759
And the cheerleaders would
bounce up and down and never --
151
00:06:18,759 --> 00:06:20,340
Okay, junior!
Too much?
152
00:06:20,340 --> 00:06:21,762
Yeah.
153
00:06:21,762 --> 00:06:23,924
Well, I'm sure our baby
will go to college.
154
00:06:23,924 --> 00:06:25,926
There's no doubt
about it.
155
00:06:25,926 --> 00:06:27,718
He'll be smart
like his mother.
156
00:06:27,718 --> 00:06:29,389
[ Giggles ]
157
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:32,643
Well, I was reading
an article today,
158
00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:35,646
And it said by the time
our baby was ready to go,
159
00:06:35,646 --> 00:06:38,188
A college education
would cost over $1 million.
160
00:06:38,188 --> 00:06:40,150
Are you kidding me?!
161
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:42,362
That's more
than $300 a semester!
162
00:06:42,362 --> 00:06:44,194
It sure is.
163
00:06:44,194 --> 00:06:46,406
Man, how are we
gonna afford that?
164
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,989
I don't know. Maybe one
of your inventions will pan out.
165
00:06:48,989 --> 00:06:50,410
Maybe.
166
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,833
Hey, I got a new idea.
What is it?
167
00:06:52,833 --> 00:06:55,836
It's a voice-activated
toilet, and when you
finish, you just yell,
168
00:06:55,836 --> 00:06:59,540
"Get outta here, and take
your little friend with you!"
169
00:06:59,540 --> 00:07:01,842
Well, maybe
that's possible,
170
00:07:01,842 --> 00:07:04,214
But I think we better have
a better backup plan.
171
00:07:04,214 --> 00:07:06,637
Well, you can always
flush manually.
172
00:07:06,637 --> 00:07:08,849
Whoosh! Doo-doo!
173
00:07:08,849 --> 00:07:10,260
[ Laughs ]
174
00:07:10,260 --> 00:07:12,262
No, I meant
about our future.
175
00:07:12,262 --> 00:07:13,854
Ah, don't worry,
176
00:07:13,854 --> 00:07:16,056
Somehow I know
it'll all be all right.
177
00:07:16,056 --> 00:07:18,058
I sure hope so.
178
00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:22,112
[ Both sigh ]
179
00:07:24,064 --> 00:07:26,116
I don't know if I can do this,
mr. Kyle.
180
00:07:26,116 --> 00:07:27,698
Wait, wait, wait, hey.
181
00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:29,660
Come here.
Of course you can.
182
00:07:29,660 --> 00:07:31,411
You just need
to fix yourself up.
183
00:07:31,411 --> 00:07:33,203
What do you mean?
You gotta loosen up.
184
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:34,785
You look like
a brand-new kid.
185
00:07:34,785 --> 00:07:36,787
Your hat's on
too straight,
186
00:07:36,787 --> 00:07:38,839
Your shirt's
all buttoned the top,
187
00:07:38,839 --> 00:07:40,711
Your pants are way up here
like an old man.
188
00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:42,843
You gotta loosen up,
or you'll never fit in.
189
00:07:42,843 --> 00:07:45,846
You mean I'll be more like
a regular kid if I'm slovenly?
190
00:07:45,846 --> 00:07:49,760
Exactly, just don't say
"slovenly," say "dirty."
191
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,763
All right?
Let's fix you up a little bit.
192
00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:55,856
Yeah, look at that.
All right, yeah.
193
00:07:55,856 --> 00:07:58,148
Pull your pants down
a little.
194
00:07:58,148 --> 00:08:01,562
Yeah, yeah, that's it!
But my butt's showing!
195
00:08:01,562 --> 00:08:04,404
Yeah, you wanna show
a little skin, that's okay.
196
00:08:04,404 --> 00:08:06,817
Now, here's
the most important part.
197
00:08:06,817 --> 00:08:08,609
Here, lay down.
198
00:08:08,609 --> 00:08:10,200
Aah.
199
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:11,992
Aah.
200
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:13,413
Yeah!
201
00:08:13,413 --> 00:08:14,995
Now, good ahead.
202
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:17,377
Now, don't tell 'em
your name is franklin.
203
00:08:17,377 --> 00:08:19,169
Sounds too...too stuffy.
204
00:08:19,169 --> 00:08:21,381
Tell 'em
your name is butch.
205
00:08:22,332 --> 00:08:24,124
Go ahead.
206
00:08:24,124 --> 00:08:25,756
Hello...
207
00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:27,888
My name
is butch alouiscious mumford.
208
00:08:27,888 --> 00:08:30,300
I am pleased to make
your acquaintance.
209
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:32,012
Psht!
210
00:08:35,596 --> 00:08:37,517
[ Rap music plays ]
211
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:38,979
♪ You can't play here ♪
212
00:08:38,979 --> 00:08:40,771
♪ You can't play here ♪
213
00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:42,192
♪ Na na na na-na ♪
214
00:08:42,192 --> 00:08:44,024
♪ 'Cause you're a dork ♪
215
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,816
♪ You can't play here ♪
216
00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:47,147
♪ You can't play here ♪
217
00:08:47,147 --> 00:08:48,819
♪ Na na na na-na ♪
218
00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:50,530
♪ 'Cause you're a dork ♪
219
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,993
♪ Aw, sure I can ♪
220
00:08:52,993 --> 00:08:55,495
♪ The law says I can ♪
221
00:08:55,495 --> 00:08:56,867
♪ Yes, I can ♪
222
00:08:56,867 --> 00:08:59,750
♪ Aw, sure I can ♪
223
00:08:59,750 --> 00:09:01,792
♪ The law says I can ♪
224
00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:03,083
♪ Yes, I can ♪
225
00:09:03,083 --> 00:09:04,755
Touchdown!
226
00:09:09,169 --> 00:09:11,802
Ready or not,
here I come!
227
00:09:11,802 --> 00:09:13,303
This is stupid.
228
00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:16,056
No, it's just
a game of hide-and-seek.
229
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,848
Look, you're doing
so good.
230
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:20,230
Now all you gotta do
is find the other kids.
231
00:09:20,230 --> 00:09:22,482
But this doesn't work for me,
mr. Kyle.
232
00:09:22,482 --> 00:09:23,774
Why not?
233
00:09:23,774 --> 00:09:26,486
Well, based on
the coordinates
234
00:09:26,486 --> 00:09:28,488
And the topography
of this area,
235
00:09:28,488 --> 00:09:31,491
There are a finite
number of places which
these kids can hide.
236
00:09:31,491 --> 00:09:32,993
Those are behind the rock,
237
00:09:32,993 --> 00:09:34,995
Behind the tree,
behind the bushes,
238
00:09:34,995 --> 00:09:36,576
And in the trash can.
239
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,578
Jerk!
240
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,500
Oh, yeah...
241
00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:42,793
And these two
under the picnic table.
242
00:09:44,705 --> 00:09:46,546
Mind your business, kid!
243
00:09:53,513 --> 00:09:59,269
[ Humming ]
244
00:09:59,269 --> 00:10:01,271
Hey, son.
Hi, dad!
245
00:10:01,271 --> 00:10:03,984
What are you doing?
Oh, i-i-i'm relaxing.
246
00:10:03,984 --> 00:10:05,776
What are you doing?
247
00:10:05,776 --> 00:10:08,899
I'm wondering what
you were doing with that wood.
248
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,694
You know, just a little --
249
00:10:13,694 --> 00:10:15,736
Little polish,
little spit shine.
250
00:10:15,736 --> 00:10:17,287
What are you doing?
251
00:10:17,287 --> 00:10:20,040
Nothing. Wondering how
the car's running.
252
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:22,202
Oh, she's beautiful!
She purrs like a kitten.
253
00:10:22,202 --> 00:10:24,955
Really? I wanna take
her for a spin --
see how she handles.
254
00:10:24,955 --> 00:10:27,207
Oh, it might be
kind of tough, dad.
255
00:10:27,207 --> 00:10:30,300
Why?
Because I sold lois
this afternoon.
256
00:10:36,556 --> 00:10:38,218
Jay:
but you love that car.
257
00:10:38,218 --> 00:10:40,260
You put so much time
and effort into it.
258
00:10:40,260 --> 00:10:43,263
It's a good thing or I
wouldn't have been able
to sell it for so much.
259
00:10:43,263 --> 00:10:45,816
I don't understand why
you didn't drive it for a while
260
00:10:45,816 --> 00:10:47,818
And enjoy the fruits
of your labor.
261
00:10:47,818 --> 00:10:51,191
I don't know if you two
have forgotten, but I
have a child on the way,
262
00:10:51,191 --> 00:10:53,443
And that child is my first
and only priority,
263
00:10:53,443 --> 00:10:55,535
And I wanna ensure
that it has every opportunity
264
00:10:55,535 --> 00:10:57,657
To make it in this life,
to excel.
265
00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,280
And the $3,000 I got
for selling the car
266
00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:03,413
Will buy two full days
at harvard 18 years from now,
267
00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:06,376
Not counting the cost of books,
housing, clothing, or food.
268
00:11:06,376 --> 00:11:08,418
That's the most
responsible thing
269
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:10,000
I've ever heard you say.
270
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,212
Me, too!
I'm proud of you, son.
271
00:11:12,212 --> 00:11:14,424
I'm only doing
what you guys taught me.
272
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:17,347
For the past 19 years,
you've been telling me
to be responsible.
273
00:11:17,347 --> 00:11:19,389
Well, I had no idea
you were listening.
274
00:11:19,389 --> 00:11:21,431
Come give your dad a hug.
275
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:22,723
Aw!
276
00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:24,725
You give your mom a hug.
Me, too!
277
00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:27,147
You know what?
Give yourself a hug.
278
00:11:27,147 --> 00:11:28,568
Okay!
279
00:11:28,568 --> 00:11:30,360
You are so responsible!
280
00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,312
I love me a responsible man!
281
00:11:32,312 --> 00:11:33,944
Oh, you --
282
00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:35,736
Oh, nice pecs!
283
00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:38,448
Hey, all right, all right,
cut it out, cut it out.
284
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:41,081
Look, do you still have
your stupid books on you?
285
00:11:41,081 --> 00:11:44,284
Oh, always! Volumes one and two,
three and four.
286
00:11:44,284 --> 00:11:46,286
Okay. Because
of your selfless actions
287
00:11:46,286 --> 00:11:48,288
And the maturity
you've demonstrated today,
288
00:11:48,288 --> 00:11:50,290
I'm giving you
permission to burn them.
289
00:11:50,290 --> 00:11:52,382
Really?!
Your father's right.
290
00:11:52,382 --> 00:11:54,424
This is a wonderful
thing you've done.
291
00:11:54,424 --> 00:11:57,097
Oh, thanks!
I-i'll do it right now!
292
00:11:57,097 --> 00:11:59,509
I've put my stupid years
behind me.
293
00:12:01,511 --> 00:12:03,764
So, what do you guys think --
about five minutes?
294
00:12:04,845 --> 00:12:07,057
On second thought,
why don't you hold on to them.
295
00:12:07,057 --> 00:12:09,059
There may be some stupid years
ahead of you.
296
00:12:09,059 --> 00:12:11,651
Oh, thanks, dad,
I didn't want to peak too early.
297
00:12:11,651 --> 00:12:13,653
[ Laughs ]
298
00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:20,781
King me!
I'm gonna win.
299
00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:22,532
You only have
one piece left.
300
00:12:22,532 --> 00:12:24,454
Fantastic! Good for you!
301
00:12:24,454 --> 00:12:26,166
You know,
I've never been able
302
00:12:26,166 --> 00:12:27,868
To beat you before,
franklin.
303
00:12:27,868 --> 00:12:30,871
That's the old franklin.
Smarty-pants franklin.
304
00:12:30,871 --> 00:12:33,673
That franklin
could've beaten you 16 moves ago
305
00:12:33,673 --> 00:12:36,506
By focusing his attack on
the left quadrant of the board
306
00:12:36,506 --> 00:12:38,588
And using
the bernoulli defense,
307
00:12:38,588 --> 00:12:41,381
But as I said,
that franklin is no more.
308
00:12:41,381 --> 00:12:43,683
Well, it's boring
to win all the time.
309
00:12:43,683 --> 00:12:45,685
I know!
310
00:12:45,685 --> 00:12:47,647
Let's just go
do something else.
311
00:12:47,647 --> 00:12:50,390
I know, let's drink
some of that colored water,
312
00:12:50,390 --> 00:12:52,392
Saturated
with high-fructose corn syrup,
313
00:12:52,392 --> 00:12:54,274
Get a huge
sugar rush going,
314
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,396
And then watch hours
of insipid animated marsupials
315
00:12:56,396 --> 00:12:58,488
Sing and dance
their way through a jungle
316
00:12:58,488 --> 00:13:00,450
Festooned
with product placement
317
00:13:00,450 --> 00:13:02,162
Featuring
candy-laced cereals
318
00:13:02,162 --> 00:13:04,324
That will no doubt destroy
my pancreas before I'm 12
319
00:13:04,324 --> 00:13:06,957
And leave me twitching
in a diabetic coma.
320
00:13:09,079 --> 00:13:12,502
Let's just go get some soda
and watch cartoons.
321
00:13:12,502 --> 00:13:14,544
Lead the way, my love.
322
00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:16,676
You know,
you're acting really weird.
323
00:13:16,676 --> 00:13:18,969
Just trying
to fit in, babe.
324
00:13:18,969 --> 00:13:20,380
Babe?
325
00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:23,133
Too much?
Too much.
326
00:13:23,133 --> 00:13:25,345
This isn't working.
327
00:13:31,191 --> 00:13:33,393
Aah...
328
00:13:33,393 --> 00:13:36,356
The bernoulli defense!
329
00:13:38,899 --> 00:13:41,902
This is ridiculous!
I hate this car seat!
330
00:13:41,902 --> 00:13:44,324
I know I'm supposed
to dumb down,
331
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:46,496
But you've gotta
draw the line somewhere!
332
00:13:46,496 --> 00:13:48,708
Hey, hush up, kid,
it's the law.
333
00:13:48,708 --> 00:13:50,500
But I feel like a baby!
334
00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:53,123
Oh, nonsense.
Here, want your ba-ba?
335
00:13:53,123 --> 00:13:54,794
Absolutely not!
336
00:13:54,794 --> 00:13:56,796
So, um, I'll --
337
00:13:56,796 --> 00:13:58,508
[ Snoring ]
338
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,264
I'm talking to you.
339
00:14:04,264 --> 00:14:05,425
Sorry.
340
00:14:05,425 --> 00:14:07,517
I put my bink-bink
in my mouth,
341
00:14:07,517 --> 00:14:09,729
And I'm out
like a light.
342
00:14:09,729 --> 00:14:11,521
Where are we?
343
00:14:11,521 --> 00:14:14,935
Oh, I gotta run an errand.
You'll love this one.
344
00:14:14,935 --> 00:14:17,527
Listen, how's your quest
for childhood coming?
345
00:14:17,527 --> 00:14:19,029
Not well.
346
00:14:19,029 --> 00:14:20,780
Kady saw
right through me.
347
00:14:20,780 --> 00:14:22,362
It was a disaster.
348
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,784
That's because she likes you
for who you really are.
349
00:14:24,784 --> 00:14:26,696
If you try to be
like everybody else,
350
00:14:26,696 --> 00:14:29,119
Then she's gonna realize
you're just another weird kid.
351
00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:32,832
You know what, mr. Kyle?
You're amazingly insightful.
352
00:14:32,832 --> 00:14:34,254
Really?
353
00:14:35,205 --> 00:14:36,796
[ Giggles ]
354
00:14:36,796 --> 00:14:39,129
Well, you know
what us smart guys say.
355
00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:41,501
It's takes a smarty
to know another smarty.
356
00:14:41,501 --> 00:14:43,553
[ Laughs ]
357
00:14:43,553 --> 00:14:45,926
Well, maybe
you don't say that.
358
00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:47,507
We're here.
359
00:14:47,507 --> 00:14:50,140
"Who's chinese restaurant?"
360
00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:52,062
That's right.
361
00:14:52,062 --> 00:14:55,515
I gotta see a guy
about a car.
362
00:14:55,515 --> 00:14:57,317
[ Snoring ]
363
00:14:59,319 --> 00:15:00,690
Hey!
364
00:15:03,113 --> 00:15:05,325
What's in this thing?
[ Laughs ]
365
00:15:05,325 --> 00:15:06,696
Binky.
366
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,293
[ Speaking chinese ]
hi, there.
367
00:15:13,293 --> 00:15:16,036
Hi. How can I help you?
368
00:15:16,036 --> 00:15:18,999
My name is mike,
and I'm interested in
buying a car like that.
369
00:15:18,999 --> 00:15:21,001
Oh, nice
to meet you, mike.
370
00:15:21,001 --> 00:15:23,303
I'm eddie.
And this is my wife annie.
371
00:15:23,303 --> 00:15:24,884
We're the whos.
372
00:15:24,884 --> 00:15:27,927
Eddie and annie who.
[ Laughs ]
373
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:31,311
That's right.
We the whos.
374
00:15:31,311 --> 00:15:33,013
How much you selling
the car for?
375
00:15:33,013 --> 00:15:36,356
[ Conversing in chinese ]
376
00:15:42,152 --> 00:15:44,194
How much are you looking
to spend?
377
00:15:44,194 --> 00:15:45,905
I was thinking about $3,000.
378
00:15:51,911 --> 00:15:53,913
That's about what it's worth.
379
00:15:53,913 --> 00:15:55,915
[ Speaking chinese ]
380
00:15:58,788 --> 00:16:01,921
This car is completely restored.
381
00:16:01,921 --> 00:16:04,084
Plus, we've got a lot
of memories in this car.
382
00:16:04,084 --> 00:16:05,545
Oh!
383
00:16:05,545 --> 00:16:07,217
Together: oy, oy! Whee!
384
00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:08,678
Uh...
385
00:16:08,678 --> 00:16:11,681
It's worth
much more than $3,000.
386
00:16:11,681 --> 00:16:13,853
It's worth maybe,
what, $5,000 or $6,000.
387
00:16:13,853 --> 00:16:16,306
[ Speaking chinese ]
388
00:16:20,900 --> 00:16:22,862
Annie who!
What?
389
00:16:22,862 --> 00:16:24,864
[ Speaking chinese ]
390
00:16:32,072 --> 00:16:35,455
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
[ Speaking chinese ]
391
00:16:35,455 --> 00:16:38,378
[ Speaking chinese ]
[ chuckling ]
"leg of leon"
392
00:16:42,922 --> 00:16:44,714
Yeah, "leg of the chin."
393
00:16:50,340 --> 00:16:52,052
That's right.
394
00:16:52,052 --> 00:16:55,055
Together: ay ya!
395
00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:58,058
I-i'm sorry.
I took you for a fool.
396
00:16:58,058 --> 00:16:59,729
Looks can be deceiving.
397
00:17:01,691 --> 00:17:04,194
How about $3,500?
398
00:17:04,194 --> 00:17:06,856
$3,500 Sounds about right.
You have yourself a deal.
399
00:17:06,856 --> 00:17:08,908
Okay. We get the keys,
you get the money.
400
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,993
Hey, where'd you learn
to speak chinese?
401
00:17:13,993 --> 00:17:15,785
From an old roommate
at m.i.t.
402
00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:17,997
He taught me chinese,
I taught him italian.
403
00:17:17,997 --> 00:17:19,789
Where'd you learn
to speak italian?
404
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:22,001
From a different roommate
at harvard.
405
00:17:22,001 --> 00:17:23,963
He taught me italian,
I taught him swahili.
406
00:17:23,963 --> 00:17:25,875
Where'd you learn swahili?
407
00:17:25,875 --> 00:17:28,047
We could do this all day,
mr. Kyle.
408
00:17:31,010 --> 00:17:32,382
Let's go.
409
00:17:36,846 --> 00:17:40,180
Okay, you stand right here.
Vanessa, you may do the honors.
410
00:17:40,180 --> 00:17:42,182
This is so exciting.
411
00:17:42,182 --> 00:17:43,983
Oh!
412
00:17:43,983 --> 00:17:45,985
I can't believe it!
413
00:17:45,985 --> 00:17:48,528
A new car cover!
Thanks, guys!
414
00:17:48,528 --> 00:17:49,949
Ow!
415
00:17:49,949 --> 00:17:53,193
I'm so glad we didn't burn
those stupid books.
416
00:17:53,193 --> 00:17:56,656
Claire, drumroll,
please.
Do you people realize
I have a life?
417
00:17:56,656 --> 00:17:58,538
[ Strained voice ]
I said give me a drumroll!
418
00:17:58,538 --> 00:18:00,410
Ow!
419
00:18:00,410 --> 00:18:04,003
It makes a better sound
if you open up your mouth.
420
00:18:04,003 --> 00:18:06,586
Okay. I present to you a gift
421
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:09,169
To the most wonderful son
that a father could have --
422
00:18:09,169 --> 00:18:10,840
Or a mother.
423
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,473
I present...lois.
424
00:18:13,473 --> 00:18:16,766
Oh, wow.
That looks just like my old car.
425
00:18:16,766 --> 00:18:19,018
It is your old car.
I bought it back for you.
426
00:18:19,018 --> 00:18:20,770
From who?
That's right -- who.
427
00:18:20,770 --> 00:18:22,852
That's what
I'm asking -- who?
That's what
I'm saying -- who.
428
00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:24,684
I sold the car
to eddie.
Who.
429
00:18:24,684 --> 00:18:26,396
I just told you, eddie.
Right. Eddie who.
430
00:18:26,396 --> 00:18:28,688
I don't know his last name
I just sold him the car.
431
00:18:28,688 --> 00:18:30,230
Look. Forget that.
432
00:18:30,230 --> 00:18:33,153
I bought it back from the guy
you sold it to. It's yours.
433
00:18:33,153 --> 00:18:34,944
That's wonderful.
Thank you.
434
00:18:34,944 --> 00:18:36,536
You are so welcome.
435
00:18:36,536 --> 00:18:38,738
There's a problem.
I can't pay for it.
436
00:18:38,738 --> 00:18:41,741
You don't have to.
Do whatever you want with it.
437
00:18:41,741 --> 00:18:43,163
Oh, thanks, dad!
438
00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:45,165
Ugh.
439
00:18:45,165 --> 00:18:48,668
Get it off of me.
Get it off of me!
440
00:18:48,668 --> 00:18:50,880
[ Laughs ]
441
00:18:57,757 --> 00:18:59,759
[ Piano music plays ]
442
00:19:11,531 --> 00:19:13,483
You can clap now.
443
00:19:13,483 --> 00:19:16,736
That was beautiful.
That was so beautiful.
444
00:19:16,736 --> 00:19:18,538
Kady: bravo.
Thank you.
445
00:19:18,538 --> 00:19:20,330
But a trained ear
would know
446
00:19:20,330 --> 00:19:22,332
That my fortissimo
was a little weak.
447
00:19:22,332 --> 00:19:24,704
Yeah, I knew that.
448
00:19:27,957 --> 00:19:30,840
Anyway, it's good
to have you back, frankenpants.
449
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,342
It's good to be back.
450
00:19:32,342 --> 00:19:34,754
Although I have developed
a taste for dodge ball.
451
00:19:34,754 --> 00:19:36,756
There's something
very satisfying
452
00:19:36,756 --> 00:19:38,758
About hitting junior
with a projectile.
453
00:19:38,758 --> 00:19:41,221
Yeah. I like it, too.
454
00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:44,063
Anyway, let's all go out
to dinner, okay?
455
00:19:44,063 --> 00:19:45,565
It's my treat.
456
00:19:45,565 --> 00:19:47,647
Who's?
My treat.
I told you.
457
00:19:47,647 --> 00:19:49,269
Oh, lord,
not this again.
458
00:19:49,269 --> 00:19:51,981
Who is going out
to dinner?
No, who is serving dinner.
459
00:19:51,981 --> 00:19:54,274
I thought
we were going out.
We are. We're going to who's.
460
00:19:54,274 --> 00:19:56,816
Who's what?
Who cares.
Just get in the car.
461
00:19:56,816 --> 00:19:59,909
Whose car
are we taking?
It's not who's anymore.
I bought it back.
462
00:19:59,909 --> 00:20:02,532
From who?
From who.
You were there. Who.
463
00:20:02,532 --> 00:20:03,953
I know.
464
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:06,085
I'm just trying to get dumb
enough to be one of the family.
465
00:20:06,085 --> 00:20:08,668
Whose family?
Not who's family,
our family.
466
00:20:08,668 --> 00:20:11,040
I don't care. Let's just go
get some chinese food.
467
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:12,832
Who's got
great chinese food.
468
00:20:12,832 --> 00:20:15,755
I think there's this
place downtown called
eddie and annie's.
469
00:20:15,755 --> 00:20:17,837
Yeah, eddie
and annie who.
470
00:20:22,392 --> 00:20:24,804
I know, let's drink
some of that colored water,
471
00:20:24,804 --> 00:20:27,016
Saturated
with high-fructose corn syrup,
472
00:20:27,016 --> 00:20:28,808
Get a huge
sugar rush going,
473
00:20:28,808 --> 00:20:30,980
And then watch hours
of insipid animated marsupials
474
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:33,192
Sing and dance
their way through a jungle
475
00:20:33,192 --> 00:20:35,114
Festooned
with product placements
476
00:20:35,114 --> 00:20:36,946
Featuring
candy-laced cereals --
477
00:20:36,946 --> 00:20:38,858
What's the line?
478
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,323
Why are cars
always female?
479
00:20:43,323 --> 00:20:46,286
Maybe because the horn's
always -- the horn is horny.
480
00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:48,077
[ Makes buzzer sound ]
481
00:20:48,077 --> 00:20:50,079
[ Laughs ]
34891
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