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1
00:00:05,216 --> 00:00:07,178
This is so sweet,
junior.
2
00:00:07,178 --> 00:00:10,931
It's nice to know that romance
is still alive and kicking.
3
00:00:10,931 --> 00:00:13,224
Ooh! So is the baby!
4
00:00:13,224 --> 00:00:14,845
You want to feel it?
5
00:00:14,845 --> 00:00:17,188
Now, let's not talk
about the baby tonight.
6
00:00:17,188 --> 00:00:19,190
Let's focus
on me and you.
7
00:00:19,190 --> 00:00:20,731
How about I put on
some music?
8
00:00:20,731 --> 00:00:24,525
[ R&b music plays ]
9
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,947
Ooh. No,
that doesn't help.
10
00:00:26,947 --> 00:00:28,319
Mmm.
11
00:00:28,319 --> 00:00:30,030
[ Hip-hop music plays ]
12
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,653
You know,
let's just try again.
13
00:00:32,653 --> 00:00:34,455
[ Remixed lullaby plays ]
14
00:00:34,455 --> 00:00:37,458
You know what?
Let's forget the music.
15
00:00:37,458 --> 00:00:39,710
We'll make our own music.
16
00:00:39,710 --> 00:00:42,373
[ Laughs ]
17
00:00:42,373 --> 00:00:45,086
Oooooh! Kissing!
18
00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:46,427
Get out!
19
00:00:46,427 --> 00:00:48,089
But mom told me
to put my bike away.
20
00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:50,511
All right. Well, leave it there.
I'll get it later.
21
00:00:50,511 --> 00:00:52,843
Now, go on! Go on!
Shoo! Shoo! Shoo!
22
00:00:52,843 --> 00:00:55,015
[ Sighs ]
now, where were we?
23
00:00:55,015 --> 00:00:58,439
I think I was about to kiss
my baby's dad.
24
00:00:58,439 --> 00:01:00,020
Don't let me interrupt.
I just need to unload.
25
00:01:00,020 --> 00:01:02,523
Yeah, you and me both.
26
00:01:02,523 --> 00:01:04,605
So, what are
you kids up to?
27
00:01:04,605 --> 00:01:06,527
Nothing much.
28
00:01:06,527 --> 00:01:07,738
What's up with you,
junior?
29
00:01:07,738 --> 00:01:09,570
Don't ask.
30
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:12,153
Did I interrupt
something?
31
00:01:12,153 --> 00:01:13,694
No, no, no.
32
00:01:13,694 --> 00:01:15,246
Vanessa and I
were just sitting here --
33
00:01:15,246 --> 00:01:17,118
Candles lit,
soft music --
34
00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:19,500
Wondering, "hey,
when is mom gonna come in
35
00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:21,792
And change
that load of clothes?"
36
00:01:21,792 --> 00:01:23,624
Do you guys want me
to leave?
37
00:01:23,624 --> 00:01:25,876
Yeah.
All right, okay, okay.
38
00:01:25,876 --> 00:01:27,007
After I fold these clothes.
39
00:01:27,007 --> 00:01:28,129
Mom!
40
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:30,171
All right!
I'm leaving!
41
00:01:30,171 --> 00:01:32,343
You need to watch that tone
before I bash you
42
00:01:32,343 --> 00:01:34,555
In front of
your little girlfriend.
43
00:01:34,555 --> 00:01:36,847
I love you!
Love you! [ Smooches ]
44
00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:40,221
Now I know we won't
be interrupted.
45
00:01:40,221 --> 00:01:42,313
[ Laughs ]
46
00:01:42,313 --> 00:01:45,065
[ Horn honks ]
47
00:01:45,065 --> 00:01:47,398
Michael: hey, guys.
What's going on?
48
00:01:47,398 --> 00:01:50,110
Nothing now.
How about a little privacy?
49
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,232
Oh, sorry.
50
00:01:51,232 --> 00:01:52,573
[ Car beeps ]
51
00:01:52,573 --> 00:01:56,036
Maybe we should
try this later, junior.
52
00:01:56,036 --> 00:01:57,908
Hi, mr. Kyle.
Hey.
53
00:01:57,908 --> 00:02:01,001
Bye, mr. Kyle.
54
00:02:01,001 --> 00:02:02,122
Thanks a lot, dad.
55
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,294
For what?
56
00:02:03,294 --> 00:02:06,006
You mean you and her...
57
00:02:06,006 --> 00:02:07,418
With the baby?
58
00:02:07,418 --> 00:02:10,301
Ew!
59
00:02:10,301 --> 00:02:11,672
You little pig!
60
00:02:11,672 --> 00:02:13,053
Do you know that you can
61
00:02:13,053 --> 00:02:14,715
Damage the baby's soft spot
with that?
62
00:02:14,715 --> 00:02:17,308
You did this to me?
The dent?
63
00:02:17,308 --> 00:02:19,260
You told me I fell!
64
00:02:19,260 --> 00:02:21,602
I can't live
like this anymore.
65
00:02:21,602 --> 00:02:22,603
Like what?
66
00:02:22,603 --> 00:02:24,024
I have no privacy.
67
00:02:24,024 --> 00:02:25,646
Hey, don't jump
down my throat
68
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:28,229
Because you lost the privilege
of being in the house.
69
00:02:28,229 --> 00:02:30,110
It's your fault
you couldn't follow the rules.
70
00:02:30,110 --> 00:02:32,193
Maybe it's time for me
to move out,
71
00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:33,824
Start making
my own rules.
72
00:02:33,824 --> 00:02:35,986
Where you gonna move to?
The driveway?
73
00:02:35,986 --> 00:02:37,328
Maybe.
74
00:02:37,328 --> 00:02:38,539
I might even go further
than that
75
00:02:38,539 --> 00:02:39,870
And get my own place.
76
00:02:39,870 --> 00:02:41,662
Look, you make
$300 a week,
77
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:43,494
You have no credit,
78
00:02:43,494 --> 00:02:46,337
And you're not gonna get a lease
without an adult cosigner.
79
00:02:46,337 --> 00:02:47,668
Well, you could --
no.
80
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,380
Well, mom --
unh-unh.
81
00:02:49,380 --> 00:02:52,463
Well, vanessa's parents --
no, no, no, no.
82
00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:53,844
[ Sighs ]
83
00:02:53,844 --> 00:02:55,676
Junior, we provide
a roof over your head,
84
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:57,888
Food on your plate,
and clothes on your back.
85
00:02:57,888 --> 00:02:59,930
Yet, you want to
sit around complaining.
86
00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:01,642
If that's not
good enough for you,
87
00:03:01,642 --> 00:03:03,183
Hey, so long,
see you, sucker,
88
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,356
Bon voyage, arrivederci,
later, loser,
89
00:03:05,356 --> 00:03:07,478
Good-bye, good riddance,
peace out,
90
00:03:07,478 --> 00:03:09,980
Let the door knob hit you
where the good lord split you,
91
00:03:09,980 --> 00:03:11,942
Don't come back
around here no more,
92
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:14,114
Hasta la vista, kick rocks,
and get the hell out.
93
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,529
Well, since you put it
that way, I will.
94
00:03:18,529 --> 00:03:20,661
It's time for me
to leave the nest,
95
00:03:20,661 --> 00:03:21,992
Spread my wings and fly.
96
00:03:21,992 --> 00:03:24,124
It's gonna
have to flap real hard
97
00:03:24,124 --> 00:03:26,166
To get that big dodo-egg head
off the ground.
98
00:03:27,788 --> 00:03:29,290
You made it like this.
99
00:03:29,290 --> 00:03:33,634
Ew!
100
00:03:41,101 --> 00:03:42,303
You did what?
101
00:03:42,303 --> 00:03:44,305
I didn't do anything.
102
00:03:44,305 --> 00:03:46,687
He said he wanted to leave,
so I said "good-bye."
103
00:03:46,687 --> 00:03:48,899
No, no, no. I know you better
than that, michael.
104
00:03:48,899 --> 00:03:51,111
You didn't just say "bye,"
now, did you?
105
00:03:51,111 --> 00:03:53,814
I said, "so long, see you,
sucker, bon voyage, arrivederci,
106
00:03:53,814 --> 00:03:56,236
"Later, loser, good-bye,
good riddance, peace out,
107
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,158
"Let the door knob hit you
where the good lord split you,
108
00:03:58,158 --> 00:04:00,571
"Don't come back around here
no more, hasta la vista, baby,
109
00:04:00,571 --> 00:04:03,364
Kick rocks,
and get the hell out."
110
00:04:03,364 --> 00:04:08,038
Do you mean to tell me
that you told my son,
111
00:04:08,038 --> 00:04:10,170
"So long, see you, sucker,
bon voyage, arrivederci,
112
00:04:10,170 --> 00:04:11,832
"Later, loser, good-bye,
good riddance, peace out,
113
00:04:11,832 --> 00:04:13,544
"Let the door knob hit you
where the good lord split you,
114
00:04:13,544 --> 00:04:15,716
"Don't come back around here
no more, hasta la vista,
115
00:04:15,716 --> 00:04:19,179
And get the hell out,"
to my baby?
116
00:04:19,179 --> 00:04:22,142
No, actually, I said,
"so long, see you, sucker,
117
00:04:22,142 --> 00:04:23,934
"Bon voyage, arrivederci,
later, loser,
118
00:04:23,934 --> 00:04:25,726
"Good-bye, good riddance,
peace out,
119
00:04:25,726 --> 00:04:27,598
"Let the door knob hit you
where the good lord split you,
120
00:04:27,598 --> 00:04:30,481
"Don't come back around here
no more, hasta la vista, baby,
121
00:04:30,481 --> 00:04:32,653
"Kick rocks...
122
00:04:32,653 --> 00:04:34,735
And get the hell out."
123
00:04:34,735 --> 00:04:36,527
You forgot the "kick rocks."
That's really important.
124
00:04:36,527 --> 00:04:39,239
Michael,
how did he react?
125
00:04:39,239 --> 00:04:40,991
When you said,
"so long, see you, sucker,
126
00:04:40,991 --> 00:04:42,533
"Bon voyage, arrivederci,
later, loser,
127
00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:44,204
"Good-bye, good riddance,
peace out,
128
00:04:44,204 --> 00:04:46,286
"Let the door knob hit you
where the good lord split you,
129
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:47,998
"Don't come back
around here no more,
130
00:04:47,998 --> 00:04:49,870
"Kick rocks,
131
00:04:49,870 --> 00:04:52,172
And get the hell out"?
132
00:04:52,172 --> 00:04:53,714
Actually, you left out
the "hasta la vista"--
133
00:04:53,714 --> 00:04:55,626
Oh, michael!
I swear to--
134
00:04:55,626 --> 00:04:58,839
Don't say it again,
'cause I'm on edge, I swear!
135
00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:01,051
You have had it in
for junior
136
00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:03,924
Ever since we caught him
in our bed.
137
00:05:03,924 --> 00:05:06,266
That's right.
That was a serious violation.
138
00:05:06,266 --> 00:05:08,729
I had every right to put him
in the garage.
139
00:05:08,729 --> 00:05:11,021
If the garage
ain't good enough for him,
140
00:05:11,021 --> 00:05:12,893
Then let his ass
hit the ceiling.
141
00:05:12,893 --> 00:05:15,436
What does that mean?
142
00:05:15,436 --> 00:05:18,278
I don't know. My father used to
tell me that all the time.
143
00:05:18,278 --> 00:05:20,070
When I questioned him on it,
144
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:22,703
He kicked me so hard, my behind
actually hit the ceiling.
145
00:05:22,703 --> 00:05:27,538
Michael, this is my baby
we are talking about here.
146
00:05:27,538 --> 00:05:30,040
Yeah, well, it's time
for your baby to grow up.
147
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:32,002
And there's no time
like the present.
148
00:05:32,002 --> 00:05:33,834
I want you to guarantee me
149
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:37,047
That not one hair on that boy's
head is gonna get hurt.
150
00:05:37,047 --> 00:05:39,840
The whole head? That's
a whole lot of real estate.
151
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,723
How about just the hook part?
How about just that part?
152
00:05:42,723 --> 00:05:44,845
He got the hook
from you.
153
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,177
No, he got the dent
from me.
154
00:05:47,177 --> 00:05:50,180
The hook came from...
155
00:05:55,646 --> 00:05:57,107
I don't want
to do this, john.
156
00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:58,979
Look, do you want
a cosign or not?
157
00:05:58,979 --> 00:06:02,192
[ High-pitched voice ] who's
gonna deny an apartment
158
00:06:02,192 --> 00:06:04,364
To a handsome young man
like yourself
159
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,156
With muscly arms?
160
00:06:06,156 --> 00:06:08,118
And a sweet, old,
voluptuous granny?
161
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,700
Yeah, well, let's hope
you're right.
162
00:06:09,700 --> 00:06:10,951
I am!
163
00:06:10,951 --> 00:06:12,833
Why don't you
give your granny
164
00:06:12,833 --> 00:06:14,204
Some good luck sugar?
165
00:06:14,204 --> 00:06:15,666
Not too much, though.
166
00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:17,548
Don't want to start up
the diabetes.
167
00:06:17,548 --> 00:06:19,089
Don't overdo it.
168
00:06:21,091 --> 00:06:23,213
And finally we come
to the master bathroom.
169
00:06:23,213 --> 00:06:25,055
Ooh. I like
the sound of that,
170
00:06:25,055 --> 00:06:27,267
Because I'm gonna be
the master of this house.
171
00:06:27,267 --> 00:06:28,719
[ Laughs ]
172
00:06:28,719 --> 00:06:30,180
Charming.
173
00:06:30,180 --> 00:06:33,223
Oh, you remind me so much
of my daughter.
174
00:06:33,223 --> 00:06:36,276
I haven't seen her
in over seven years.
175
00:06:36,276 --> 00:06:38,939
Could you make
old granny happy
176
00:06:38,939 --> 00:06:40,571
And rub chests with me?
177
00:06:40,571 --> 00:06:41,862
I beg your pardon?
178
00:06:41,862 --> 00:06:42,903
A hug.
179
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,074
Oh.
180
00:06:44,074 --> 00:06:45,736
Oh, that's nice.
181
00:06:45,736 --> 00:06:47,367
You know,
where I'm from,
182
00:06:47,367 --> 00:06:49,790
We used to hug from behind,
like this.
183
00:06:49,790 --> 00:06:51,792
Junior: granny!
184
00:06:51,792 --> 00:06:52,993
John: what?
185
00:06:52,993 --> 00:06:55,035
Check out
this drinking fountain.
186
00:06:55,035 --> 00:06:58,378
No, no, no, no, no, no.
That's not a drinking fountain.
187
00:06:58,378 --> 00:06:59,460
That's a bidet.
188
00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:01,211
A what?
A who?
189
00:07:01,211 --> 00:07:03,213
It's...
[ Whispers ]
190
00:07:03,213 --> 00:07:05,596
Ew! Why didn't you just
say "a butt-washer"?
191
00:07:05,596 --> 00:07:06,927
Oh, that's nice.
192
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,639
Why don't you
hop on that apparatus
193
00:07:08,639 --> 00:07:10,390
And show us
how it works?
194
00:07:10,390 --> 00:07:12,553
Junior, you leave.
It's just us ladies.
195
00:07:12,553 --> 00:07:14,725
I'll provide the music.
196
00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:17,688
♪ Doo-doo, ch, doo-doo
wash it! ♪
197
00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:18,939
Granny!
198
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,861
Granny!
199
00:07:20,861 --> 00:07:22,983
Granny, I think
we're about done here.
200
00:07:22,983 --> 00:07:24,565
Why don't you
go wait in the car?
201
00:07:24,565 --> 00:07:26,987
Unh-unh, I ain't sitting
in that hot, old car
202
00:07:26,987 --> 00:07:28,569
With the windows
all rolled up.
203
00:07:28,569 --> 00:07:31,201
That's how you killed
grandpappy.
204
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,573
Hey, don't hit me!
205
00:07:32,573 --> 00:07:35,285
Whoa!
Oh, oh, oh!
206
00:07:35,285 --> 00:07:37,287
Stop!
Stop it!
207
00:07:37,287 --> 00:07:39,379
You should be ashamed
of yourself!
208
00:07:39,379 --> 00:07:41,542
Hitting a defenseless
old woman.
209
00:07:41,542 --> 00:07:43,253
Are you all right?
210
00:07:43,253 --> 00:07:46,717
Oh, I'll be fine.
Just don't let me go.
211
00:07:46,717 --> 00:07:50,220
Mmm. Now, work it
a little bit.
212
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,222
Why don't we
get down to business?
213
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:54,054
That's what I was
trying to do.
214
00:07:54,054 --> 00:07:55,726
Boy, people sure
aren't as friendly
215
00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:58,308
As they used to be
in the olden days.
216
00:07:58,308 --> 00:07:59,520
I'll take the apartment.
217
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,191
It's yours!
218
00:08:01,191 --> 00:08:02,983
And it's a steal
at only two a month.
219
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:05,696
That's exactly what I was
expecting to pay!
220
00:08:05,696 --> 00:08:07,528
$200 A month!
221
00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:11,111
[ Laughing ]
that's funny!
222
00:08:12,873 --> 00:08:13,914
What's funny?
223
00:08:13,914 --> 00:08:15,165
Well --
224
00:08:15,165 --> 00:08:16,617
You're not kidding,
are you?
225
00:08:16,617 --> 00:08:18,498
No, I mean,
$200 is the upper end,
226
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,080
But I'm willing
to go that high.
227
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:21,962
This is $2,000 a month.
228
00:08:21,962 --> 00:08:24,625
Ohhh!
$2,000?
229
00:08:24,625 --> 00:08:27,007
Ohhh! Oooh!
230
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,129
Uh, well...
231
00:08:29,129 --> 00:08:31,722
Do you have anything
in my price range?
232
00:08:31,722 --> 00:08:33,393
Well...
[ Sighs ]
233
00:08:33,393 --> 00:08:36,687
I suppose, if we lowered
the bar a little bit.
234
00:08:38,899 --> 00:08:40,310
That'd be nice.
235
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:45,485
[ Giggles ]
236
00:08:45,485 --> 00:08:47,858
[ Smooches ]
237
00:08:47,858 --> 00:08:50,701
[ Giggles ]
238
00:08:51,952 --> 00:08:53,994
[ Giggles, smooches ]
239
00:08:53,994 --> 00:08:56,366
I think I'm gonna puke.
240
00:08:56,366 --> 00:08:59,039
Michael:
we could watch a movie together.
241
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,921
No, thank you.
242
00:09:00,921 --> 00:09:03,463
How about we
go out to dinner--
I am so not interested.
243
00:09:03,463 --> 00:09:05,425
Not interested.
Um--
244
00:09:05,425 --> 00:09:07,087
Wow, mr. Kyle.
What did you do?
245
00:09:07,087 --> 00:09:08,929
Uh, that's none
of your business.
246
00:09:08,929 --> 00:09:12,512
No. Let me tell you
what he did.
247
00:09:12,512 --> 00:09:13,974
He told junior,
"so long, see you, sucker,
248
00:09:13,974 --> 00:09:15,475
"Bon voyage, arrivederci,
249
00:09:15,475 --> 00:09:17,517
"Later, loser, good-bye,
good riddance, peace out,
250
00:09:17,517 --> 00:09:19,349
"Don't let the door knob hit you
where the good lord split you,
251
00:09:19,349 --> 00:09:21,732
"Don't come back around here
no more, hasta la vista,
252
00:09:21,732 --> 00:09:25,395
Kick rocks,
and get the hell out."
253
00:09:25,395 --> 00:09:27,397
You told him, "so long,
see you, sucker, bon
voyage, arrivederci,
254
00:09:27,397 --> 00:09:29,319
"Later, loser, good-bye,
good riddance, peace out,
255
00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:31,151
"Don't let the door knob hit you
where the good lord split you,
256
00:09:31,151 --> 00:09:32,783
"Don't come back around here
no more, hasta la vista,
257
00:09:32,783 --> 00:09:34,494
And get the h-e-
double-hockey-sticks out"?
258
00:09:34,494 --> 00:09:36,366
He forgot
the "kick rocks"--
259
00:09:36,366 --> 00:09:38,038
Michael, don't start it.
260
00:09:38,038 --> 00:09:41,161
Don't--i told you--
i--don't--
261
00:09:41,161 --> 00:09:43,754
Well, I can see why
you're in trouble, mr. Kyle.
262
00:09:43,754 --> 00:09:46,086
Mind your business, please.
Thank you.
263
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,629
I'll say a prayer that junior
finds a nice apartment.
264
00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:50,921
There's no way junior's gonna
find a nice apartment
265
00:09:50,921 --> 00:09:52,262
Making $300 a week.
266
00:09:52,262 --> 00:09:53,764
I found an apartment!
267
00:09:53,764 --> 00:09:55,345
Praise the lord!
Yes!
268
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:56,977
Congratulations,
junior!
269
00:09:56,977 --> 00:09:58,558
Where is it,
baby?
270
00:09:58,558 --> 00:10:00,681
It's in a developing
neighborhood downtown.
271
00:10:00,681 --> 00:10:02,022
Oh!
Is it nice?
272
00:10:02,022 --> 00:10:03,934
The realtor said
it's nice-adjacent,
273
00:10:03,934 --> 00:10:05,395
But it's
in my price range.
274
00:10:05,395 --> 00:10:06,857
How did you get an apartment
275
00:10:06,857 --> 00:10:08,318
Without an adult cosigner?
276
00:10:08,318 --> 00:10:09,690
Don't worry about it.
277
00:10:09,690 --> 00:10:10,941
I did what I had to do.
278
00:10:10,941 --> 00:10:12,823
I've heard
all your stories
279
00:10:12,823 --> 00:10:15,115
About you doing whatever it took
to become a success.
280
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:16,616
That's what I'm doing.
281
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,158
I was so worried
about you.
282
00:10:18,158 --> 00:10:20,040
Oh, it's nothing
to worry about.
283
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:23,123
I'm inviting everyone over
for a housewarming dinner.
284
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,746
Is there something we can bring
to this housewarming?
285
00:10:25,746 --> 00:10:28,338
Yeah, I could use
a couple small things --
286
00:10:28,338 --> 00:10:30,801
Plates, forks, cups,
linens, draperies,
287
00:10:30,801 --> 00:10:34,424
A cutlery set, a refrigerator,
an oven, a sink, hot water--
288
00:10:34,424 --> 00:10:37,467
You don't have
hot water?
Nope.
But I have cold water.
289
00:10:37,467 --> 00:10:39,099
Negotiated that.
290
00:10:39,099 --> 00:10:40,560
[ Laughs ]
291
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,474
Baby, this seems
like a bad neighborhood.
292
00:10:44,474 --> 00:10:46,106
Seems like?
293
00:10:46,106 --> 00:10:48,689
Hey, why is that woman out there
standing in the cold?
294
00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:50,440
We should give her
a ride.
295
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:52,442
I think she's waving at us.
296
00:10:52,442 --> 00:10:54,735
Hey! Hey, pretty lady,
you need a ride?
297
00:10:54,735 --> 00:10:58,538
Man: no, I'm cool.
You want to play?
298
00:10:58,538 --> 00:11:00,240
Wow.
Her voice was deep.
299
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,953
Maybe she just had
a sore throat, right?
300
00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:05,585
Yeah.
Or a penis.
301
00:11:05,585 --> 00:11:07,788
Hey, is that guy in the alley
making a--
302
00:11:07,788 --> 00:11:10,050
No, no, no. He's just
tying his shoe. Back up.
303
00:11:10,050 --> 00:11:11,842
This neighborhood
is creepy.
304
00:11:11,842 --> 00:11:13,343
Why are we
doing this again?
305
00:11:13,343 --> 00:11:15,425
We are going
to support your brother.
306
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:17,137
Maybe this is
just the neighborhood
307
00:11:17,137 --> 00:11:19,679
We have to pass through
to get to junior's place.
308
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,141
Nope.
That's the address.
309
00:11:34,314 --> 00:11:36,026
Michael:
oh, no thanks. Man.
310
00:11:36,026 --> 00:11:38,448
Look! Someone drew a person
on the sidewalk with chalk!
311
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:40,240
I wish they'd draw me!
312
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:41,321
Uh, no, you don't.
313
00:11:41,321 --> 00:11:42,452
I am scared.
314
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:44,034
Daddy,
I'm scared too.
315
00:11:44,034 --> 00:11:45,415
Just don't hold my hand
so tight.
316
00:11:45,415 --> 00:11:46,706
That's not me.
317
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,378
Oh, sorry,
mr. Kyle.
318
00:11:48,378 --> 00:11:51,291
You better get your little
monkey paw out of my hand.
319
00:11:51,291 --> 00:11:53,293
Yo. What do you want?
320
00:11:53,293 --> 00:11:54,835
I'm here to see my son.
321
00:11:54,835 --> 00:11:56,636
Is he one of the junkies?
No.
322
00:11:56,636 --> 00:11:58,428
Is he a crackhead?
No.
323
00:11:58,428 --> 00:12:01,601
Is he here
with one of the prostitutes?
No.
324
00:12:01,601 --> 00:12:04,514
Then you must mean that new
big-head kid on the third floor.
325
00:12:04,514 --> 00:12:05,766
Yeah, that's him.
326
00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:07,647
Okay, then
parking is $5.
327
00:12:07,647 --> 00:12:08,648
$5?
328
00:12:08,648 --> 00:12:09,940
$9!
329
00:12:09,940 --> 00:12:11,982
Stop being
so stubborn!
330
00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:14,654
This is coming
out of your allowance.
331
00:12:14,654 --> 00:12:16,066
See?
Here's $10.
332
00:12:16,066 --> 00:12:17,527
I ain't got no change.
333
00:12:17,527 --> 00:12:18,949
And I don't accept nothing
334
00:12:18,949 --> 00:12:20,570
Smaller than a $20.
335
00:12:20,570 --> 00:12:22,202
Here.
336
00:12:26,416 --> 00:12:28,328
Welcome to
the broken arms.
337
00:12:28,328 --> 00:12:30,170
I also offer
child-care services.
338
00:12:30,170 --> 00:12:32,292
Don't push it.
339
00:12:32,292 --> 00:12:33,713
Come on.
Get your sister.
340
00:12:33,713 --> 00:12:35,375
Go, go, go, go, go.
Hurry. Wait for us.
341
00:12:35,375 --> 00:12:36,797
[ Knock on door ]
342
00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:38,088
Coming, coming.
343
00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:45,595
Hey, dad.
Welcome to my humble abode.
344
00:12:45,595 --> 00:12:46,766
[ Toilet flushes ]
345
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,388
More like...
Commode.
346
00:12:48,388 --> 00:12:50,650
Come on, dad.
So, what do you think?
347
00:12:50,650 --> 00:12:52,652
I think you need
to get your $200 back.
348
00:12:52,652 --> 00:12:54,394
Oh, it's not that bad.
349
00:12:54,394 --> 00:12:55,946
Oh, no?
350
00:12:55,946 --> 00:12:58,398
I think they're overcharging you
by at least $196.
351
00:12:58,398 --> 00:13:00,400
Everyone make yourselves
at home.
352
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,072
Unh-unh, unh-unh,
unh-unh.
353
00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:04,244
You can't sit
in that chair.
Why not?
354
00:13:04,244 --> 00:13:06,456
Because that's
the king's chair,
355
00:13:06,456 --> 00:13:08,328
And in my house
I'm the king.
356
00:13:08,328 --> 00:13:09,669
I don't want to sit
357
00:13:09,669 --> 00:13:11,791
In this little
ratty chair, anyway.
358
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:14,374
Why don't you give us
a tour of the place, king?
359
00:13:14,374 --> 00:13:16,216
I'd be happy to.
360
00:13:16,216 --> 00:13:20,420
Over here, we have
the cooking/heater/dryer area.
361
00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:24,304
And as I sashay over here,
362
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:28,098
You can see the dining
area/ironing board.
363
00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:29,519
And right behind me
364
00:13:29,519 --> 00:13:35,195
Is the elegant
tub/bed/bidet area.
365
00:13:35,195 --> 00:13:36,937
Kady:
is there a restroom,
366
00:13:36,937 --> 00:13:40,861
Or do I have to use
the alley/corner/bathroom?
367
00:13:40,861 --> 00:13:42,492
Right through there.
368
00:13:42,492 --> 00:13:44,404
I can't use
this bathroom.
369
00:13:44,404 --> 00:13:45,445
Why not?
370
00:13:45,445 --> 00:13:47,327
Your dog is
sitting on it.
371
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:48,909
I don't have a dog.
372
00:13:48,909 --> 00:13:50,330
Aaaaaah!
373
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:51,872
[ Knocking on door ]
374
00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:54,334
Excuse me,
I'm gonna get the door.
375
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,666
Hey, baby.
Welcome to my new home.
376
00:13:56,666 --> 00:13:58,338
So, what do you think?
377
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,340
[ Laughing nervously ]
it's intimate.
378
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:01,461
Yeah.
379
00:14:01,461 --> 00:14:02,552
It's fabulous.
380
00:14:02,552 --> 00:14:04,764
Oh, this is
a nice little place.
381
00:14:04,764 --> 00:14:06,346
Mm-hmm.
382
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,268
It's a step up
from where we started.
383
00:14:08,268 --> 00:14:10,891
Remember that subway car?
384
00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:13,773
I remember
it was hard to sleep.
385
00:14:13,773 --> 00:14:15,815
Next stop, 49th street.
386
00:14:15,815 --> 00:14:17,317
Ding.
387
00:14:17,317 --> 00:14:19,149
Next stop, 42nd street.
388
00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:20,320
Ding.
389
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:22,242
Next stop, 59th street.
390
00:14:22,242 --> 00:14:23,984
Ding.
391
00:14:26,286 --> 00:14:27,787
Oh, remember
when the brakes went out,
392
00:14:27,787 --> 00:14:29,409
And I had to
stop it barefooted?
393
00:14:29,409 --> 00:14:30,951
Ooh!
My hercules!
394
00:14:30,951 --> 00:14:32,412
Oh, good times,
good times.
395
00:14:32,412 --> 00:14:33,493
Oh, yeah.
396
00:14:33,493 --> 00:14:34,995
Well, come further in.
397
00:14:34,995 --> 00:14:37,667
Bring all the shoulders
and everything in.
398
00:14:37,667 --> 00:14:39,709
Don't mind if I do.
399
00:14:39,709 --> 00:14:42,092
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
You can't sit there.
400
00:14:42,092 --> 00:14:43,673
Why not?
That's the king's chair.
401
00:14:43,673 --> 00:14:45,675
Tell him, king.
No.
402
00:14:45,675 --> 00:14:49,059
Then why don't
the king say so?
403
00:14:49,059 --> 00:14:50,430
Go ahead, king.
404
00:14:50,430 --> 00:14:52,892
Hear ye, hear, ye.
405
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,975
From this day forth,
I proclaim
406
00:14:54,975 --> 00:14:57,107
That no one must sit
in that chair
407
00:14:57,107 --> 00:14:58,728
Except for the king
408
00:14:58,728 --> 00:14:59,980
And sir calvin.
409
00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:02,232
[ Laughs ]
410
00:15:02,232 --> 00:15:05,075
Sir calvin.
You know, I like that.
411
00:15:05,075 --> 00:15:06,446
Why can he sit
in the chair,
412
00:15:06,446 --> 00:15:07,617
But I can't sit
in the chair?
413
00:15:07,617 --> 00:15:08,868
Hey, my house, my rules.
414
00:15:08,868 --> 00:15:10,370
If you don't like it,
you can leave.
415
00:15:10,370 --> 00:15:11,911
Or I can throw you
out that window.
416
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,743
No, you cant,
'cause it's painted shut.
417
00:15:13,743 --> 00:15:16,336
Jay: you guys, this is supposed
to be a festive occasion.
418
00:15:16,336 --> 00:15:20,170
Speaking of festive occasions,
where's your bathroom?
419
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:22,002
Is that it
right over there?
420
00:15:22,002 --> 00:15:24,044
It sure is,
sir calvin.
421
00:15:24,044 --> 00:15:26,006
[ Laughing ]
sir calvin.
422
00:15:26,006 --> 00:15:27,968
You got enough paper?
423
00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:30,600
Calvin:
hey, little fella.
424
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,012
Come on out there.
425
00:15:32,012 --> 00:15:34,314
Don't be scared.
That's right.
426
00:15:34,314 --> 00:15:35,645
That's right.
427
00:15:35,645 --> 00:15:38,018
I hope to god
he's talking to the rat.
428
00:15:40,150 --> 00:15:42,652
So, what's for dinner,
junior?
429
00:15:42,652 --> 00:15:46,326
Tonight, we're having
ramen noodles and ketchup.
430
00:15:46,326 --> 00:15:47,827
You know what?
431
00:15:47,827 --> 00:15:49,529
Why don't i,
for this homecoming,
432
00:15:49,529 --> 00:15:52,452
I'll take everybody out
to a nice dinner, huh?
433
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,334
Somewhere nice.
434
00:15:54,334 --> 00:15:55,835
Oh,
false alarm.
435
00:15:55,835 --> 00:15:57,957
But it wasn't
a total waste.
436
00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:02,292
You know, michael, these things
keep your head warm.
437
00:16:02,292 --> 00:16:03,673
Oh, yeah,
I'm sure they do.
438
00:16:03,673 --> 00:16:05,585
Like to try it on?
No, no, no.
439
00:16:05,585 --> 00:16:07,637
Let's all
go out to dinner.
440
00:16:09,549 --> 00:16:12,182
Woman:
I'm gonna kill you.
441
00:16:12,182 --> 00:16:14,054
Uh...
Heat up the ramen.
442
00:16:14,054 --> 00:16:15,595
Yeah.
443
00:16:28,068 --> 00:16:31,701
Okay, so, how long
are you gonna be mad at me?
444
00:16:31,701 --> 00:16:33,413
Until my son is safe.
445
00:16:33,413 --> 00:16:34,784
He's safe.
446
00:16:34,784 --> 00:16:36,416
He's with calvin
and the rat hat.
447
00:16:36,416 --> 00:16:38,578
Michael, I want him
out of that hellhole.
448
00:16:38,578 --> 00:16:40,380
You shouldn't be talking to me.
Talk to him.
449
00:16:40,380 --> 00:16:42,882
No, no, no. I should be
talking to you, michael.
450
00:16:42,882 --> 00:16:45,255
This is another one
of your ridiculously grandiose,
451
00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:46,966
Contorted,
ill-conceived lessons.
452
00:16:46,966 --> 00:16:49,339
You turn everything
into an opera, michael.
453
00:16:49,339 --> 00:16:51,131
[ Singing ]
♪ no, I don't ♪
yes, you do.
454
00:16:51,131 --> 00:16:53,012
♪ No, I don't ♪
yes, you do.
455
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,134
♪ I don't, I don't ♪
456
00:16:54,134 --> 00:16:55,345
Yes, you do.
457
00:16:55,345 --> 00:16:57,767
Yes, yes, yes--
yes, you do!
458
00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,899
Michael, I am very serious
about this.
459
00:16:59,899 --> 00:17:01,561
He's in real danger
down there.
460
00:17:01,561 --> 00:17:04,444
He could go out for a quart of
milk and end up on the carton.
461
00:17:04,444 --> 00:17:06,025
You have to talk
to him about that.
462
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,448
This is a decision that that boy
has to make for himself.
463
00:17:08,448 --> 00:17:11,151
No, michael,
I am only asking you
464
00:17:11,151 --> 00:17:13,243
To give the boy
some more options.
465
00:17:13,243 --> 00:17:14,824
You're the one
always talking about,
466
00:17:14,824 --> 00:17:17,117
"Everything in life
is a negotiation."
467
00:17:17,117 --> 00:17:19,079
So, are we negotiating
right now?
468
00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:20,620
I don't know.
469
00:17:20,620 --> 00:17:23,042
Is there something
that you would like to have...
470
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,754
Ever again?
471
00:17:30,510 --> 00:17:33,012
You would play
the sex card?
472
00:17:33,012 --> 00:17:34,844
Hmm.
473
00:17:34,844 --> 00:17:37,727
You think that by withholding
love and emotion
474
00:17:37,727 --> 00:17:39,559
And the most sacred bond
of matrimony,
475
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:42,852
It's gonna force me to go
against my principles, jay?
476
00:17:42,852 --> 00:17:44,144
Yes.
477
00:17:44,144 --> 00:17:46,736
Warm it up.
I'll be right back.
478
00:17:58,788 --> 00:18:00,460
[ Laughs ]
479
00:18:00,460 --> 00:18:03,042
Go, go, go!
480
00:18:03,042 --> 00:18:05,004
[ Knock on door ]
481
00:18:05,004 --> 00:18:07,877
Who is it?
It's me, giggles.
482
00:18:07,877 --> 00:18:09,259
Hold on.
483
00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:14,424
Jun--
484
00:18:14,424 --> 00:18:16,306
Hey, dad.
485
00:18:16,306 --> 00:18:19,219
That's junior's little helper.
Cool, huh?
486
00:18:19,219 --> 00:18:21,100
Yeah, if you work
in a supermarket.
487
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,102
I can do
anything in this house
488
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,855
Without having to leave
the tub/bed/bidet.
489
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:27,647
Hey, you want
something to eat?
490
00:18:27,647 --> 00:18:29,028
Chips?
491
00:18:29,028 --> 00:18:30,530
No, thank you.
492
00:18:30,530 --> 00:18:32,942
This is junior's
little junior helper.
493
00:18:32,942 --> 00:18:34,574
[ Laughs ]
494
00:18:34,574 --> 00:18:36,906
You got it all
worked out, son.
495
00:18:36,906 --> 00:18:39,078
I know.
Have a seat, dad.
496
00:18:39,078 --> 00:18:40,540
Unh-unh, unh-unh.
497
00:18:40,540 --> 00:18:42,412
King's chair.
498
00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:48,458
There you go.
499
00:18:48,458 --> 00:18:50,550
So, what's on your mind?
500
00:18:50,550 --> 00:18:53,052
Your mother seems to be worried
about you for some reason,
501
00:18:53,052 --> 00:18:55,305
And she wants me
to convince you to come home.
502
00:18:55,305 --> 00:18:56,966
Why would I want
to do that?
503
00:18:56,966 --> 00:18:59,179
Here, I have my own space
and no rules.
504
00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:01,140
Juice?
505
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,723
No, thank you.
506
00:19:03,723 --> 00:19:05,024
Okay.
507
00:19:05,024 --> 00:19:07,817
You also have no heat,
no hot water,
508
00:19:07,817 --> 00:19:10,570
And no idea how stupid you look
in this rusty tub.
509
00:19:10,570 --> 00:19:12,732
I'd rather get hepatitis,
rabies, and lockjaw
510
00:19:12,732 --> 00:19:14,444
From sitting
in this tub...
511
00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:15,905
You will.
512
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,867
Than to come home
and prove you're right,
513
00:19:17,867 --> 00:19:19,239
I can't make it
on my own.
514
00:19:19,239 --> 00:19:21,120
Okay, son.
You made your point.
515
00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:23,413
And I'm proud of you.
You can make it on your own.
516
00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:26,496
But you're not alone
in this world anymore.
517
00:19:26,496 --> 00:19:28,338
I want you to look around
this apartment
518
00:19:28,338 --> 00:19:29,839
And look around
this neighborhood
519
00:19:29,839 --> 00:19:31,421
And ask yourself
one question.
520
00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:33,092
What?
521
00:19:33,092 --> 00:19:35,505
Is this where you want
to bring your baby home to?
522
00:19:35,505 --> 00:19:39,098
[ Toilet flushes
dramatically ]
523
00:19:42,302 --> 00:19:44,354
Well, maybe
you're right, dad.
524
00:19:44,354 --> 00:19:46,356
And I'm willing
to negotiate.
525
00:19:46,356 --> 00:19:48,147
I'll come home
under these three conditions.
526
00:19:48,147 --> 00:19:49,769
Okay.
527
00:19:49,769 --> 00:19:52,692
Number one, you convert
the garage into an apartment,
528
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:55,315
And I'll pay you the same rent
as I'm paying here.
529
00:19:55,315 --> 00:19:58,658
Number "b"...
530
00:19:58,658 --> 00:20:00,990
No one may walk
into my apartment
531
00:20:00,990 --> 00:20:03,323
Without my permission.
532
00:20:03,323 --> 00:20:05,955
And letter three...
533
00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:08,958
You go and ask dexter
to give me my pants back
534
00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:10,830
So I can get out
of this tub.
535
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,754
Deal.
536
00:20:14,754 --> 00:20:16,886
Way to negotiate.
537
00:20:25,935 --> 00:20:27,307
Thank you.
538
00:20:27,307 --> 00:20:28,728
There you go.
539
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,229
[ Laughs ]
540
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:32,772
So, how do you like
the new spot?
541
00:20:32,772 --> 00:20:34,193
I love it.
542
00:20:34,193 --> 00:20:36,446
Good,
because I love you.
543
00:20:36,446 --> 00:20:38,157
Ohhh!
544
00:20:38,157 --> 00:20:39,819
[ Doorbell rings ]
545
00:20:39,819 --> 00:20:41,491
Come in.
546
00:20:48,628 --> 00:20:50,039
Hope I ain't interrupting.
547
00:20:50,039 --> 00:20:51,291
Good night, guys.
548
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:54,374
I should have negotiated
for no car.
549
00:20:56,676 --> 00:20:58,838
So long,
see you, sucker,
550
00:20:58,838 --> 00:21:00,430
Good-bye, bon voyage,
peace out,
551
00:21:00,430 --> 00:21:03,643
Let the good lord hit you
where the good lord split you.
552
00:21:03,643 --> 00:21:06,185
[ Laughs ]
553
00:21:06,185 --> 00:21:08,017
So long,
see you, sucker,
554
00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:10,059
Bon voyage, arrivederci,
later, loser,
555
00:21:10,059 --> 00:21:12,191
Good-bye, peace out,
good riddance,
556
00:21:12,191 --> 00:21:14,854
Let the good door hit you
where the good door...
557
00:21:14,854 --> 00:21:17,236
[ Laughs ]
558
00:21:17,236 --> 00:21:19,609
Actually, I said,
"so long, see you, sucker,
559
00:21:19,609 --> 00:21:21,611
Arrivederci,
hasta la vista, baby"-- no.
560
00:21:21,611 --> 00:21:24,243
To my baby?
561
00:21:24,243 --> 00:21:26,826
Actually, I said,
"so long, see you, sucker,
562
00:21:26,826 --> 00:21:29,168
"Bon voyage, arrivederci,
later, loser,
563
00:21:29,168 --> 00:21:30,500
Good-bye, riddance"--
564
00:21:33,753 --> 00:21:36,876
[ Laughs ]
39464
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