All language subtitles for My Wife and Kids S05E25 - R.V. Dreams (2005) HDTV 720p.ENG

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,604 --> 00:00:05,571 HEY. 2 00:00:05,605 --> 00:00:07,072 HEY. DID YOU GET THE TICKETS? 3 00:00:07,107 --> 00:00:08,140 HA HA. WELL... 4 00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:09,508 OH! THIS IS GREAT! 5 00:00:09,542 --> 00:00:11,744 I ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE THE GRAND CANYON. 6 00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:13,823 OH, AND YOU'RE GOING TO SEE IT, AND IT'S GOING TO BE GRAND. 7 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:16,158 OH, MICHAEL, SO WHEN DOES OUR FLIGHT LEAVE? 8 00:00:16,182 --> 00:00:18,060 "WHAT TIME DOES THE FLIGHT LEAVE?" SHE SAYS. 9 00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:19,862 "WHAT TIME DOES THE FLIGHT LEAVE?" 10 00:00:19,886 --> 00:00:22,298 WHEN DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE? 11 00:00:22,322 --> 00:00:25,791 [ Gasps ] MICHAEL, YOU DID NOT RENT US A PRIVATE JET. 12 00:00:25,825 --> 00:00:27,626 OF COURSE I DIDN'T. 13 00:00:27,660 --> 00:00:30,129 BUT I RENTED US SOMETHING 14 00:00:30,163 --> 00:00:35,100 THAT IS 6,000 TIMES BETTER THAN A PRIVATE JET. 15 00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:36,035 REALLY? WHAT IS THAT? 16 00:00:36,069 --> 00:00:38,871 BABY, FEAST YOUR EYES 17 00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:39,805 ON THAT. 18 00:00:39,839 --> 00:00:40,773 WHAT'S THIS? 19 00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:45,210 THAT'S THE WANDERVAN 6000. 20 00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:46,979 A STUPID R.V.? 21 00:00:47,013 --> 00:00:49,848 HEY, DON'T YOU DISRESPECT THE WANDERVAN. 22 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,694 SHE DIDN'T MEAN IT. SHE'S IGNORANT. 23 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:53,896 SHE DOESN'T KNOW YOUR BEAUTY AND EXQUISITENESS. 24 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:54,997 ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? 25 00:00:55,021 --> 00:00:56,321 I AM REALLY SORRY. 26 00:00:56,356 --> 00:00:57,700 I DIDN'T MEAN TO DISRESPECT HER. CAN I SEE THE BROCHURE? 27 00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:58,624 YES, YOU CAN. 28 00:00:58,658 --> 00:01:00,102 I'M NOT IGN'ANT. OW. 29 00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:01,427 WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? 30 00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:03,172 LOOK, I'M SORRY. IT'S JUST THAT THIS WANDERVAN 31 00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:04,840 IS AN EXQUISITE PIECE OF MACHINERY. 32 00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:06,776 THIS THING IS A ROLLING MANSION. 33 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,044 IT'S NOT AN R.V. 34 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,278 THIS IS AN R.M. 35 00:01:09,302 --> 00:01:10,469 NO, YOU'RE AN R.M. 36 00:01:10,503 --> 00:01:11,437 WHAT'S THAT? 37 00:01:11,471 --> 00:01:12,604 A REAL MORON. 38 00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:14,517 HEY, DON'T YOU DISRESPECT ME WITH THEM WORDS. 39 00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:16,152 OW. YOURS SOUNDS BETTER. 40 00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:17,920 MICHAEL... THERE IT IS. 41 00:01:17,944 --> 00:01:20,012 STOP. 42 00:01:20,046 --> 00:01:21,346 STOP. 43 00:01:23,116 --> 00:01:25,184 MICHAEL, I AM NOT DRIVING TO ARIZONA 44 00:01:25,218 --> 00:01:27,019 IN THAT BIG, STUPID THING. 45 00:01:27,053 --> 00:01:28,821 HEY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO. 46 00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:30,923 I WILL DO THE DRIVING. 47 00:01:30,957 --> 00:01:33,002 YOU JUST SIT BACK AND LUXURIATE. 48 00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:34,893 LUXURIATE, HUH? 49 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,806 THAT'S RIGHT. THIS THING HAS RECLINING BUCKET SEATS 50 00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:39,175 WITH THE FINEST CORINTHIAN LEATHER, 51 00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:42,034 SOFTER THAN DENZEL WASHINGTON'S HANDS. 52 00:01:42,068 --> 00:01:44,780 NOW, YOU IMAGINE YOUR BIG, PRETTY BOOTY 53 00:01:44,804 --> 00:01:47,083 PROPPED UP IN DENZEL'S HAND GOING CROSS-COUNTRY. 54 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,207 MM. 55 00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:50,186 OOH, LOOK AT THAT BUMP. OH, I GOTCHA. 56 00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:51,410 STOP, DENZEL. 57 00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:53,022 WATCH THAT TURN. COME HERE, COME HERE. 58 00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:55,758 GET OVER HERE. DENZEL, STOP. MICHAEL'S RIGHT OVER THERE. 59 00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,193 OKAY, SO WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY 60 00:01:57,217 --> 00:01:58,461 ABOUT THIS IS ... 61 00:01:58,485 --> 00:02:00,319 DENZEL, NO, BABY, STOP. 62 00:02:00,353 --> 00:02:02,054 HA HA HA HA. 63 00:02:02,088 --> 00:02:03,288 OW! 64 00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:04,423 STOP! 65 00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:06,091 OKAY. 66 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,737 YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS SOUNDS REALLY, REALLY NICE, MICHAEL, 67 00:02:08,761 --> 00:02:11,063 BUT WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU RENT AN R.V.? 68 00:02:11,097 --> 00:02:13,298 OF ALL THINGS, YOU KNOW DOGGONE WELL 69 00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:16,011 THAT THE WORST TRIP I EVER TOOK IN MY LIFE WAS IN AN R.V. 70 00:02:16,035 --> 00:02:17,980 WHEN I WAS A KID. YOU KNOW THAT. I TOLD YOU THE STORY. 71 00:02:18,004 --> 00:02:20,549 I KNOW, BUT THINGS HAVE CHANGED SINCE THEN. 72 00:02:20,573 --> 00:02:22,474 EVERYTHING'S DIFFERENT NOW. 73 00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:23,686 THE ROADS ARE PAVED. 74 00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:25,244 WHATEVER. 75 00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:26,879 THIS SOUNDS LIKE A NIGHTMARE. 76 00:02:26,913 --> 00:02:28,958 LOOK, I KNOW, AND THAT'S WHY THIS IS THE PERFECT TRIP. 77 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,293 SEE, I WANT TO HELP YOU CONFRONT YOUR CHILDHOOD TRAUMA 78 00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:32,928 AND TURN THAT BAD MEMORY 79 00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:35,954 INTO A BEAUTIFUL CROSS-COUNTRY EXPERIENCE. 80 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,422 YOU DO? 81 00:02:37,457 --> 00:02:39,268 YEAH. PLUS, IF WE FLY, WE'RE GOING TO MISS OUT 82 00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:41,971 ON ALL THE HISTORICAL LANDMARKS THAT THIS COUNTRY HAS TO OFFER. 83 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,730 THINK ABOUT THE AMBER WAVES OF GRAIN, 84 00:02:44,764 --> 00:02:49,268 THE PURPLE MOUNTAINS' MAJESTY ABOVE THE FRUITED PLAIN. 85 00:02:49,302 --> 00:02:52,314 ♪ AMERICA ♪ I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO DO THAT. I KNEW. 86 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:56,275 ♪ AMERICA ♪ I KNEW. I KNEW. 87 00:02:56,309 --> 00:02:58,087 DON'T EVEN KNOW THE WORDS, DO YOU? 88 00:02:58,111 --> 00:02:59,211 ♪ EE NO, YOU DON'T. 89 00:02:59,245 --> 00:03:00,412 ♪ AH 90 00:03:00,446 --> 00:03:02,591 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, I'LL GO, I'LL GO! 91 00:03:02,615 --> 00:03:04,216 JUST STOP SINGING! 92 00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:06,028 I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS, BUT I WILL GO. 93 00:03:06,052 --> 00:03:07,062 JUST PLEASE. 94 00:03:07,086 --> 00:03:09,821 ♪ FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA ♪ 95 00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:10,889 MICHAEL! 96 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:12,391 SORRY. 97 00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:15,961 IT'S NOT LEGAL NOT TO FINISH THE SONG, BABY. 98 00:03:15,995 --> 00:03:17,429 YEAH, RIGHT. 99 00:03:17,463 --> 00:03:19,308 I WANT TO SEE YOU TELL THE KIDS. THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO SEE. 100 00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:20,709 OH, THIS IS GOING TO BE GOOD. 101 00:03:20,733 --> 00:03:22,444 THEY GOING TO BE SO THRILLED WHEN THEY SEE 102 00:03:22,468 --> 00:03:25,204 THE WANDERVAN 6000. 103 00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:27,349 IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE? ARE YOU GUYS HIGH? 104 00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:28,974 YES, I'M HIGH OFF THE FACT 105 00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:30,986 THAT WE'RE GOING TO SEE THIS GREAT COUNTRY OF OURS TOGETHER. 106 00:03:31,010 --> 00:03:32,844 IT'S GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN. 107 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,179 HA! 108 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,558 FUN? IT SOUNDS LIKE TORTURE. 109 00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:37,593 TWO WEEKS WITH YOU IN A SMALLER HOUSE? 110 00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:39,395 I CAN BARELY TAKE IT IN THIS HOUSE. 111 00:03:39,419 --> 00:03:40,596 BESIDES, ISN'T R.V.ing 112 00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:42,865 SOMETHING OLD PEOPLE DO BEFORE THEY DIE? 113 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:45,557 OOH, NO, SHE DIDN'T. NO, SHE DIDN'T. 114 00:03:47,126 --> 00:03:49,795 SO I GUESS YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE ALL THE MALLS 115 00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:52,531 BETWEEN HERE AND THE GRAND CANYON. 116 00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:53,966 MALLS? 117 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,178 YOU MEAN THERE ARE OTHER MALLS BESIDES THE MALL? 118 00:03:56,202 --> 00:03:59,371 SEE, THIS IS THE REASON WHY WE'RE TAKING THIS TRIP... 119 00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:03,175 SO WE CAN ANSWER THOSE PROFOUND QUESTIONS. 120 00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:04,320 OH. WELL, I'M IN. 121 00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:05,711 WELL, I HAVE AN ISSUE. 122 00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:07,957 I CAN'T GO TWO WEEKS WITHOUT ANOTHER KID TO TALK TO. 123 00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:09,982 OKAY, IS THERE ROOM IN THE R.V. FOR ONE MORE? 124 00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:13,151 "IS THERE ROOM IN THE R.V. FOR ONE MORE?" SHE SAYS. 125 00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:15,554 "IS THERE ROOM IN THE R.V. FOR ONE MORE?" 126 00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:17,666 OKAY, JUST GO ASK FRANKLIN IF HE CAN COME ALONG. 127 00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:19,625 THAT WORKS FOR ME. 128 00:04:19,659 --> 00:04:22,127 COUNT US OUT. COUNT YOU OUT? 129 00:04:22,161 --> 00:04:23,706 THE PROBLEM, MR. KYLE, 130 00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:25,574 IS WE'RE STILL A NEWLY MARRIED COUPLE, 131 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,876 AND WE NEED OUR PRIVACY, CHI-CHI. 132 00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:29,234 Jay: OH, GOD. 133 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,436 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO DO IN PRIVATE 134 00:04:31,471 --> 00:04:33,605 THAT YOU CAN'T DO AROUND US? 135 00:04:34,974 --> 00:04:36,575 AAH! 136 00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:39,611 DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT TO ME AGAIN. I'M YOUR FATHER. 137 00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:41,613 NOT TO YOU. TO HER. 138 00:04:41,648 --> 00:04:42,881 AAH! 139 00:04:42,915 --> 00:04:45,984 YOU DON'T EVEN SAY THINGS LIKE THAT TO HER. 140 00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:48,320 DAD, I DON'T THINK YOU HEARING ME CORRECTLY. 141 00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:53,392 OHH. YEAH, THAT'S... 142 00:04:53,426 --> 00:04:55,337 AAH! I TOLD YOU, DON'T SAY IT, BOY. 143 00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:57,106 NOW, LOOK, WE BOOKED THIS R.V., 144 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,774 AND WE'RE ALL GOING, AND THAT'S IT. 145 00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,376 VANESSA, YOU ARE A KYLE NOW, 146 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,144 SO YOU DO WHATEVER STUPID THING THE REST OF THIS FAMILY DOES. 147 00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:03,402 STUPID. YEAH. 148 00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:05,037 OKAY, MR. KYLE, OKAY. 149 00:05:05,071 --> 00:05:07,182 FINE. I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE THE GRAND CANYON, ANYWAY. 150 00:05:07,206 --> 00:05:09,107 YOU KNOW, I WONDER HOW HIGH IT IS. 151 00:05:10,176 --> 00:05:12,611 AAH! 152 00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:18,984 HA HA HA HA. SO I GUESS WE'RE ALL SET. 153 00:05:19,018 --> 00:05:20,896 JUST HAND ME THE KEYS TO THAT BABY, 154 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:22,554 AND WE'LL HIT THE ROAD, JACK. 155 00:05:22,588 --> 00:05:24,967 I WILL, BUT INSURANCE LAWS REQUIRE ME TO SHOW YOU 156 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,802 A LITTLE SAFETY VIDEO FIRST. 157 00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:28,260 OH, NO, THAT'S A GOOD THING. 158 00:05:28,294 --> 00:05:29,471 WE WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING WE NEED TO KNOW BEFORE WE LEAVE. 159 00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:31,229 ALL RIGHT, HAVE A SEAT, 160 00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:33,375 AND I WILL BE BACK IN 3 HOURS AND 10 MINUTES. 161 00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:36,702 WHAT? 162 00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:38,270 [ GROANS ] 163 00:05:38,304 --> 00:05:41,840 Man: THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING THE WANDERVAN 6000, 164 00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:45,077 THE MOST LUXURIOUS VEHICLE ON THE ROAD. 165 00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:47,723 GOD, HIS VOICE IS BORING AND ANNOYING. SHH. 166 00:05:47,747 --> 00:05:50,849 I HEARD THAT. 167 00:05:50,883 --> 00:05:52,718 TO PULL DOWN THE AWNING, 168 00:05:52,752 --> 00:05:55,787 USE THE HOOK ROD LOCATED IN COMPARTMENT "B" 169 00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:58,033 ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE AWNING SAFETY LATCH 170 00:05:58,057 --> 00:06:00,892 MARKED "AWNING HOOK ROD COMPARTMENT." 171 00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:03,238 NOW, REMEMBER TO ALWAYS MAKE SURE 172 00:06:03,262 --> 00:06:05,997 THE REGULATOR VENT FACES DOWNWARD 173 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,666 TO MINIMIZE VENT BLOCKAGE, 174 00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:10,969 RESULTING IN THE CATASTROPHIC EXPLOSION OF YOUR VEHICLE 175 00:06:11,003 --> 00:06:14,339 AND THE DEATH OF EVERYONE ON BOARD. 176 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,741 OKAY. 177 00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:17,619 THREE HOURS GO BY THAT FAST? WHOA. 178 00:06:17,643 --> 00:06:18,877 ANY QUESTIONS? 179 00:06:18,911 --> 00:06:20,746 NO, THIS IS VERY INFORMATIVE. 180 00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:23,448 I KNOW THAT THE GREEN LEVEL DOES THE AWNING. 181 00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:25,361 WELL, I GUESS YOU GUYS ARE READY TO ROCK 'N' ROLL. 182 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:26,762 HA HA HA HA HA. 183 00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:29,064 HEY, WHAT'S THAT GUY? I'VE BEEN WATCHING HIM FOR A WHILE NOW. 184 00:06:29,088 --> 00:06:30,122 OH, YES. 185 00:06:30,156 --> 00:06:33,291 CECILESE MUSTACHIOS, YES. 186 00:06:34,994 --> 00:06:37,373 HE'S THE GUY WHO HOLDS THE WORLD RECORD... 187 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,842 FROM CONNECTICUT TO THE GRAND CANYON IN 37 HOURS. 188 00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:41,700 OH, THAT'S INSANE. 189 00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:43,612 GOOD LUCK WITH THE RECORD, MR. KYLE. 190 00:06:43,636 --> 00:06:45,047 WHAT? WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT? 191 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:46,782 NOTHING. NOTHING. COME ON. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. 192 00:06:46,806 --> 00:06:48,917 YOU WANT TO PLAY THE TAPE AGAIN? NO, NO. 193 00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:49,941 NO. 194 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:55,213 OKAY, I'VE GOT EVERYTHING. 195 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,526 YOU SURE DO. NOW GO PUT IT BACK. 196 00:06:57,550 --> 00:06:59,695 I TOLD YOU, WE'RE GOING TO BUY STUFF ALONG THE WAY. 197 00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:00,896 TAKE THOSE SUITCASES BACK IN THE HOUSE 198 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,020 AND PACK A SMALLER BAG. 199 00:07:02,054 --> 00:07:04,022 ALL RIGHT, KILLJOY. 200 00:07:04,056 --> 00:07:05,223 SAY IT AGAIN, HEAR, 201 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,869 I'M GOING TO KILL JOY AND KILL CLAIRE. 202 00:07:06,893 --> 00:07:08,760 I DON'T WANT TO GO ON THIS TRIP ANYWAY. 203 00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:10,028 Franklin: MR. KYLE? 204 00:07:10,062 --> 00:07:12,141 UH, YOU WILL ADDRESS ME AS "CAPTAIN" 205 00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:14,209 WHILE I'M MANNING THIS VESSEL. 206 00:07:14,233 --> 00:07:15,611 OH, WHAT IS THAT NONSENSE ABOUT? 207 00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:18,603 WELL, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE GREAT FOR THE TRIP 208 00:07:18,638 --> 00:07:21,517 IF WE ALL PRETENDED WE WERE ON THE STARSHIP. 209 00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:24,776 [ Snorting ] HA HA HA HA. GREAT, MICHAEL, FINE. GREAT. 210 00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:26,077 UM... 211 00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,879 WHAT IS THAT? 212 00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:29,748 IT'S THE SIGN. READ IT. 213 00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:31,360 WHAT DOES IT SAY? "MADE IN TAIWAN." 214 00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:32,861 NO, UP... UP THERE. "CAP'N"? 215 00:07:32,885 --> 00:07:34,719 NO, STARFLEET CAPTAIN. 216 00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:36,198 LISTEN UP, EVERYONE. 217 00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:38,367 WHILE ABOARD THE M.K. ENTERPRISE, 218 00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:40,769 YOU WILL ADDRESS ME AS "CAPTAIN." 219 00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:42,137 GOT THAT? OVER. 220 00:07:42,161 --> 00:07:43,639 YEAH. YEAH . 221 00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:45,641 I DON'T WANT TO GO ON THIS TRIP ANYWAY. WHATEVER. 222 00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,709 IT'S THE CAPTAIN. CAPTAIN. RIGHT. 223 00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:49,178 ENOUGH OF THE SARCASM, 224 00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:50,913 OR I'LL HAVE YOU ALL ON THE BRIDGE. 225 00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:52,337 HA HA HA HA. 226 00:07:52,371 --> 00:07:55,484 FRANKLIN, YOU ARE NOW FIRST ENGINEER SCOTTY. 227 00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:57,052 [ Scottish accent ] AYE-AYE, CAP'N. 228 00:07:57,076 --> 00:07:58,844 I'LL GO CHECK THE DILITHIUM CRYSTALS. 229 00:07:58,878 --> 00:08:01,957 WHAT'S THAT? IT'S THE STUFF THAT POWERS THE ENTERPRISE, CAP'N. 230 00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:04,927 REALLY? NO, IT'S THE BLUE STUFF IN THE TOILET. 231 00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:06,695 HEY, HEY, HOW COME HE GETS TO BE SCOTTY? 232 00:08:06,719 --> 00:08:08,253 I WANTED TO BE SCOTTY. 233 00:08:08,287 --> 00:08:09,631 CAN YOU DO A SCOTTISH ACCENT? 234 00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:11,233 OF COURSE I CAN. OKAY, LET ME HEAR IT. 235 00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:13,492 SI, SI, EL CAPITAN. 236 00:08:13,526 --> 00:08:16,828 IT IS MULTO FRIDO OUTSIDE, CAPTAIN HOLMES, EH? 237 00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:20,665 HA HA HA. 238 00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:22,444 THAT'S A SPANISH ACCENT. OH. 239 00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:24,146 YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU BE SPOCK. 240 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,781 OH, I GET TO BE THE SMART ONE. 241 00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:27,716 THAT AIN'T LOGICAL. THAT AIN'T LOGICAL. 242 00:08:27,740 --> 00:08:30,942 OH, DEAR GOD, WE'RE NEVER GETTING OUT OF THE DRIVEWAY. 243 00:08:32,912 --> 00:08:39,484 CAPTAIN'S LOG, STARDATE 2057-043... 244 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:43,198 WE EMBARK ON OUR JOURNEY TO THE GRAND CANYON. 245 00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:46,001 WE ARE GOING TO GO THERE IN UNDER 37 HOURS. 246 00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:47,703 WHAT?! MICHAEL, YOU SAID THAT WE WERE GOING 247 00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:50,328 TO STOP AT HISTORICAL SITES ALONG THE WAY. 248 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:51,940 WE ARE, ON THE WAY BACK. 249 00:08:51,964 --> 00:08:53,942 SEE, WE'LL GO TO THE GRAND CANYON, 250 00:08:53,966 --> 00:08:55,744 WE'LL SEE THAT, AND THEN WE'LL MOSEY ON BACK, 251 00:08:55,768 --> 00:08:57,346 AND WE'LL SEE ALL THOSE SIGHTS. 252 00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,303 THAT AIN'T LOGICAL. 253 00:08:58,337 --> 00:08:59,838 MICHAEL, WHY ON EARTH 254 00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:02,140 WOULD YOU WANT TO DRIVE TO THE GRAND CANYON 255 00:09:02,174 --> 00:09:03,909 UNDER 37 HOURS? 256 00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:05,988 BECAUSE IF I BREAK THE RECORD, 257 00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:07,913 THEN ALL THE GAS IS FREE, 258 00:09:07,947 --> 00:09:11,449 PLUS THEY THROW IN A WANDERVAN 6000 KEYCHAIN. 259 00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:13,151 AND ON TOP OF THAT, 260 00:09:13,185 --> 00:09:16,221 INSTEAD OF MY FACE MUSTACHIO, P 261 00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:18,734 AND I BECOME THE NEW CECILESE. 262 00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:21,493 SO THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT... 263 00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:24,229 YOU WANT TO DRIVE NONSTOP FROM CONNECTICUT TO ARIZONA 264 00:09:24,263 --> 00:09:26,965 JUST SO THAT YOUR FACE CAN BE IN A PICTURE 265 00:09:26,999 --> 00:09:29,568 IN AN R.V. SALESMAN'S OFFICE. 266 00:09:29,602 --> 00:09:30,535 DUH. 267 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,003 OH, MICHAEL, YOU KNOW WHAT? 268 00:09:32,038 --> 00:09:34,539 "R.V.ing FOR DUMMIES" SAYS YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO 269 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,741 DRIVE MORE THAN 300 MILES A DAY. 270 00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:40,579 RIGHT... "FOR DUMMIES." I'M NOT A DUMMY, JAY, OKAY? 271 00:09:40,613 --> 00:09:42,253 IF YOU'RE NICE TO ME 272 00:09:42,281 --> 00:09:44,950 AND YOU'RE SUPPORTIVE... 273 00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:46,728 I'LL GIVE YOU THE KEYCHAIN. 274 00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:48,453 OH, MY GOD. I GET THE KEYCHAIN. 275 00:09:48,487 --> 00:09:50,822 OH, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR? 276 00:09:50,856 --> 00:09:52,190 Claire: HAPPY? 277 00:09:52,224 --> 00:09:54,937 YES, VERY. NOW SIT IN, STRAP YOURSELVES IN, LET'S GO. 278 00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:56,761 I'VE USED TOPOGRAPHICAL MAPS 279 00:09:56,796 --> 00:09:58,830 TO CHART THE MOST FUEL-EFFICIENT ROUTE. 280 00:09:58,864 --> 00:10:00,842 WE'LL BE TRAVELING DOWNHILL MOST OF THE WAY. 281 00:10:00,866 --> 00:10:02,100 THAT AIN'T LOGICAL. 282 00:10:02,134 --> 00:10:03,211 JUNIOR, SHUT UP. 283 00:10:03,235 --> 00:10:04,313 IT'S NOT JUNIOR, IT'S SPOCK. 284 00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:05,614 OKAY, SPOCK, SHUT UP. 285 00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:06,771 IT'S MR. SPOCK. 286 00:10:06,806 --> 00:10:08,150 MR. SPOCK, SHUT UP! 287 00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:10,141 SPOCK, WHAT ARE YOU EATING? 288 00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:13,256 IT'S A VULCAN TRAIL MIX... CABBAGE AND BEAN SALAD. 289 00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:17,382 JUNIOR, WHEN YOU GET A FREE MOMENT, 290 00:10:17,416 --> 00:10:20,852 I'LL BE IN THE BATHROOM CHANGING THE LIGHT BULBS. 291 00:10:20,886 --> 00:10:21,953 AAH! 292 00:10:21,988 --> 00:10:24,823 THAT AIN'T LOGICAL. 293 00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:28,760 WOMEN... LOVELY CREATURES, BUT HIGHLY EMOTIONAL. 294 00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:31,773 ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD. 295 00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:33,965 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! 296 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,844 HEY, WHAT? THE BOOK SAYS THAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO 297 00:10:35,868 --> 00:10:38,803 GLIDE OVER THE SPEED BUMPS AT A VERY SLOW RATE... 298 00:10:38,838 --> 00:10:42,774 NOT IN THE WANDERVAN 6000. 299 00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:45,954 OKAY, THIS THING WAS BUILT WITH GERMAN TECHNOLOGY. 300 00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:49,218 IT'S MADE TO GO OVER SPEED BUMPS. WATCH THIS. 301 00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:52,517 OH! 302 00:10:52,551 --> 00:10:54,419 MICHAEL! 303 00:10:54,453 --> 00:10:56,655 THAT WASN'T THAT BAD, HUH? 304 00:11:00,259 --> 00:11:01,393 SCOTTY. 305 00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:02,560 Franklin: AYE, CAP'N. 306 00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:03,839 I NEED MORE POWER. 307 00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:06,264 BUT, CAP'N, SHE'LL BREAK THE CORE. 308 00:11:06,298 --> 00:11:07,599 THAT AIN'T LOGICAL. 309 00:11:07,633 --> 00:11:09,211 BOY, YOU STOP WITH THE "LOGICAL" IN MY EAR, 310 00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:10,802 ALL RIGHT? 311 00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:13,782 THAT AIN'T LOGICAL, MAMA. GET OUT OF MY FACE, JUNIOR. 312 00:11:13,806 --> 00:11:16,366 LOOK, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE NOT SPOCK ANYMORE. 313 00:11:18,811 --> 00:11:21,657 AND WHAT THE HELL IS THAT YOU'RE DOING? 314 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,181 THAT'S THE VULCAN SLEEP PINCH. 315 00:11:23,215 --> 00:11:24,582 SLEEP, DADDY. 316 00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:26,084 SLEEP. 317 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,821 YOU AMATEUR. 318 00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:36,438 MICHAEL, DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE TAKING THE "STAR TREK"... 319 00:11:36,462 --> 00:11:37,839 STAND DOWN, UHURA. 320 00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:39,675 WHAT YOU CALL ME? UHURA. 321 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,132 WHAT? UHURA. 322 00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:42,600 OH, BOY... 323 00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:45,670 SHE WAS THE CAPTAIN'S PRETTY ASSISTANT. 324 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:48,306 OH, WELL, YOU BETTER ENUNCIATE NEXT U-HUR-A. 325 00:11:50,743 --> 00:11:53,288 HERE'S YOUR COFFEE, CAP'N. THANK YOU. 326 00:11:53,312 --> 00:11:55,857 I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF PUTTING A LITTLE SCOTTISH CHEER IN IT. 327 00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:58,493 YOU PUT LIQUOR IN MY HUSBAND'S COFFEE WHILE HE'S DRIVING? 328 00:11:58,517 --> 00:12:00,752 NO, I JUST DROPPED A LITTLE HAGGIS IN IT. 329 00:12:00,786 --> 00:12:02,787 UGH! 330 00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:04,589 I'M NOT DRINKING THIS 331 00:12:04,623 --> 00:12:06,868 IF YOU PUT YOUR LITTLE HAGGIS IN IT. 332 00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:09,394 NO, HAGGIS IS YOUR TRADITIONAL SCOTTISH DISH 333 00:12:09,428 --> 00:12:10,762 MADE FROM LAMB INTESTINE. 334 00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:12,507 OH. WELL, THAT'S DIFFERENT. 335 00:12:12,531 --> 00:12:14,032 EW! 336 00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:15,734 I'LL BE IN THE ENGINE ROOM. 337 00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:18,280 THIS MUST BE WHAT HELL IS LIKE. WHA T? 338 00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:20,739 STUCK IN A TIN CAN FULL OF TREKKIES. 339 00:12:27,646 --> 00:12:29,925 DAD... HEY, HEY, HEY, PLAY THE CAPTAIN GAME, BABY. 340 00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:31,259 PLAY THE CAPTAIN GAME. 341 00:12:31,283 --> 00:12:32,784 [ Sighs ] CAPTAIN... 342 00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:34,452 YES, YES, YES. 343 00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:37,222 JUNIOR'S BEEN IN THE BATHROOM FOR OVER AN HOUR. 344 00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:39,434 IT'S THAT DAMN CABBAGE AND BAKED BEANS HE'S EATING. 345 00:12:39,458 --> 00:12:41,369 BOY, GET OUT OF THAT BATHROOM! 346 00:12:41,393 --> 00:12:42,671 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'VE CHANGED MY MIND. 347 00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:43,962 I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE. 348 00:12:43,996 --> 00:12:45,340 JUST DROP ME OFF AT THE NEAREST AIRPORT, 349 00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:46,608 AND I'LL FLY HOME. OKAY, DEAR. 350 00:12:46,632 --> 00:12:48,466 I HAVE TO USE THE BATHROOM, TOO! 351 00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:50,912 JUNIOR, THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE IN HERE BESIDES YOU! 352 00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:52,771 GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM! 353 00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:56,541 Junior: GOTTA GET THIS DEMON OUT OF ME! 354 00:12:56,575 --> 00:12:58,420 LOOK, WELL, BOY, HURRY UP AND BEAM IT OUT 355 00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,088 AND LET SOMEONE ELSE IN THERE. 356 00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:02,046 BAD NEWS, CAPTAIN. WE'RE LOST. 357 00:13:02,081 --> 00:13:04,126 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, LOST? 358 00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:06,117 WELL, AT UHURA'S INSISTENCE... 359 00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:10,789 EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME... U-HUR-A. U-HUR-A. 360 00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:13,825 Y'ALL BETTER ENUNCIATE UP IN HERE, FOR REAL. 361 00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:17,061 WELL, AT U-HUR-A'S INSISTENCE, 362 00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:19,030 I CHARTED A ROUTE TO A CAMPGROUND. 363 00:13:19,064 --> 00:13:20,765 WE SHOULD HAVE ARRIVED BY NOW. 364 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,210 A CAMPGROUND? I TOLD YOU 365 00:13:22,234 --> 00:13:23,745 WE WERE GOING TO DRIVE STRAIGHT THROUGH TO THE CANYON 366 00:13:23,769 --> 00:13:25,180 IN LESS THAN 37 HOURS. 367 00:13:25,204 --> 00:13:27,082 NO, NO, YOU'RE GOING TO DRIVE STRAIGHT THROUGH. 368 00:13:27,106 --> 00:13:29,918 THE REST OF US ARE GOING TO REST AND STOP FOR THE NIGHT. 369 00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:31,820 DON'T YOU WANT YOUR WANDERVAN KEYCHAIN? 370 00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:33,578 HA HA HA HA. 371 00:13:33,612 --> 00:13:35,557 WELL, IT DOESN'T MATTER. ACCORDING TO MY CALCULATIONS, 372 00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:37,392 WE'RE LOST SOMEWHERE IN WESTERN PENNSYLVANIA. 373 00:13:37,416 --> 00:13:39,818 GREAT! GREAT, NOW THERE'S NOWHERE TO STOP. 374 00:13:39,852 --> 00:13:41,085 YOU HAPPY, MICHAEL? 375 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:43,932 WILL YOU CALM DOWN? I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE. 376 00:13:43,956 --> 00:13:45,867 YEAH, RIGHT. ALL WE GOT TO DO 377 00:13:45,891 --> 00:13:47,569 IS ZIP OVER TO THE WATACACHEE JUNCTION, 378 00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:49,227 THEN GO EAST FOR 2 MILES, 379 00:13:49,261 --> 00:13:52,797 AND THEN RIGHT ON TO THE I-29 GOING SOUTH. 380 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,999 THERE IS NO I-29 GOING SOUTH. 381 00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:56,267 YES, THERE IS. 382 00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:59,237 NO, THERE ISN'T, BECAUSE WHEN I LOOKEDSL... 383 00:14:00,739 --> 00:14:02,907 NICE TRY, MICHAEL, BUT IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK. 384 00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:04,175 I KNOW WE'RE LOST. 385 00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:05,854 SEE, THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF THE R.V. 386 00:14:05,878 --> 00:14:07,622 YOU'RE NEVER LOST, BECAUSE YOU HAVE 387 00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:09,491 EVERYTHING YOU NEED WITH YOU. 388 00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:10,992 WE DON'T NEED A CAMPGROUND. 389 00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:12,861 ALL WE NEED TO DO IS JUST PULL OVER 390 00:14:12,885 --> 00:14:14,996 TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND RECHART THE COURSE 391 00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:16,531 THE SAME WAY THE PIONEERS DID. 392 00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:17,856 OH, NO, WE WILL NOT. 393 00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:20,035 THE BOOK SAYS IT'S DANGEROUS TO PULL OVER 394 00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:23,394 AND PARK ANYWHERE EXCEPT FOR OFFICIAL CAMPGROUNDS. 395 00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:25,563 OH, MY DEAR GOD. 396 00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:26,898 WHOO! 397 00:14:26,932 --> 00:14:28,900 OH, HEY, WHAT THE... 398 00:14:28,934 --> 00:14:31,069 OH, YOU... 399 00:14:33,339 --> 00:14:34,983 OH, YOU... GET IT, GET IT... DON'T SMELL! 400 00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:36,151 COME HERE, COME HERE! 401 00:14:36,175 --> 00:14:38,042 WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS IT? 402 00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:42,424 DID AN ALIEN CRAWL UP IN YOU AND DIE? 403 00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:45,683 DID A KLINGON FALL OUT YOUR ASS? 404 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,919 OPEN THE WINDOWS. 405 00:14:47,953 --> 00:14:50,953 PULL OVER RIGHT HERE, MICHAEL. I DON'T CARE WHERE WE STOP. 406 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,769 MICHAEL, I GOT TO ADMIT, THIS IS REALLY NICE. 407 00:14:54,793 --> 00:14:56,027 ISN'T IT? 408 00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:58,607 YOU KNOW, I FINALLY GET WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT. 409 00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:00,442 HERE WE ARE, IN THE MIDDLE OF AMERICA, 410 00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:03,144 THE FAMILY'S TOGETHER, NO TELEPHONE RINGING, NO TV, 411 00:15:03,168 --> 00:15:04,969 JUST US. 412 00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:07,282 JUST SPENDING QUALITY TIME WITH THE ONES YOU CARE ABOUT. 413 00:15:07,306 --> 00:15:08,750 I REALLY LOVE THIS. 414 00:15:08,774 --> 00:15:10,041 SO DO I. 415 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,779 ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH OF THIS CRAP. 416 00:15:14,813 --> 00:15:17,282 WE GOT TO GET GOING. COME ON, COME ON, LET'S GO. 417 00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:19,094 MOVE, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE IT. PICK THOSE UP. COME ON. 418 00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:20,618 I'VE GOT IT, I'VE GOT IT. 419 00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:22,130 DON'T JUST STAND THERE. 420 00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:24,099 WE'RE ON A TIMEFRAME. COME ON. 421 00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:25,390 LET'S GO. 422 00:15:27,693 --> 00:15:31,229 MUMFORD, I NEED THAT JITTER JUICE NOW! 423 00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:33,464 ONE ENERGY DRINK COMING UP. 424 00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:36,834 MICHAEL, YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN 425 00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:39,871 ON ALL OF THAT CAFFEINE. YOUR EYE IS STARTING TO TWITCH. 426 00:15:39,905 --> 00:15:41,616 I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 427 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,074 AND WHAT'S WITH THE STUPID HAT? 428 00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:44,920 MY BOOK DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THAT STUPID... 429 00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,678 HEY! AAH! 430 00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:49,291 HEY, HEY, I'LL STOP ON THE WAY BACK AND GET IT. 431 00:15:49,315 --> 00:15:51,449 YOU KNOW, THIS ISN'T FAIR. 432 00:15:51,483 --> 00:15:52,827 YOU GUYS TRICKED ME INTO THIS TRIP, 433 00:15:52,851 --> 00:15:54,362 TELLING ME WE WERE GOING TO SHOP AT MALLS, 434 00:15:54,386 --> 00:15:55,664 AND I HAVEN'T BEEN TO ONE. 435 00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:57,999 WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK VENDING WORLD WAS? 436 00:15:58,023 --> 00:16:00,201 CHOOSING BETWEEN MOON PIES, BUBBLE GUM, AND CHEWING TOBACCO 437 00:16:00,225 --> 00:16:01,592 IS NOT SHOPPING. 438 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:02,704 SURE IT IS. 439 00:16:02,728 --> 00:16:03,995 YEAH, TO HILLBILLIES. 440 00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:05,707 I GUESS I'LL GO SMOKE ON MY CORNCOB PIPE 441 00:16:05,731 --> 00:16:07,175 AND MARRY MY COUSIN. [ Snorts ] 442 00:16:07,199 --> 00:16:09,067 [ HIGH-PITCHED LAUGHTER ] 443 00:16:09,101 --> 00:16:10,912 SEE, THAT'S THE KIND OF FUN 444 00:16:10,936 --> 00:16:12,948 I WAS TALKING ABOUT US HAVING ON THIS TRIP. 445 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,950 GREAT ONE, CLAIRE! GREAT! 446 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,041 WHY DID YOU GIVE ME THAT! 447 00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:18,009 GIVE IT TO ME. 448 00:16:18,043 --> 00:16:19,444 LOOK AROUND YOU, MICHAEL. 449 00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:22,513 EVERYBODY HERE IS EITHER BORED, TIRED, OR DEPRESSED. 450 00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:24,759 I'M LOOKING AROUND ME. HA HA HA HA HA. 451 00:16:24,783 --> 00:16:26,184 REFUGEES HAVE HAD MORE FUN 452 00:16:26,218 --> 00:16:28,186 THAN YOUR FAMILY IS HAVING RIGHT NOW. 453 00:16:28,220 --> 00:16:30,532 LOOK, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU NEED TO BE MORE ACTIVE. 454 00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:31,833 HERE, PRESS THIS BUTTON. PRESS THIS BUTTON. 455 00:16:31,857 --> 00:16:33,268 I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT. I DON'T WANT TO PRESS NO BUTTON. 456 00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:35,437 YEAH, IT'LL SEND US INTO LIGHT SPEED. 457 00:16:35,461 --> 00:16:37,205 YOU PRESSING MY BUTTONS. PLAY THE GAME, BABY! PLAY THE GAME! 458 00:16:37,229 --> 00:16:38,663 FINE! JUST BE QUIET! 459 00:16:38,697 --> 00:16:40,131 OOH! 460 00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:42,500 OH! 461 00:16:42,534 --> 00:16:44,068 OH! 462 00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:46,781 WE'RE GOING THROUGH THE BLACK HOLE! 463 00:16:46,805 --> 00:16:48,906 PAST THE MILKY WAY! 464 00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:52,777 WATCH OUT FOR THE ASTEROID! 465 00:16:52,811 --> 00:16:54,189 HA HA HA HA HA! 466 00:16:54,213 --> 00:16:57,882 HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! 467 00:16:57,916 --> 00:17:00,161 TELL ME THAT WASN'T FUN. 468 00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:01,085 NO! 469 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,520 IT'S NOT FUN. 470 00:17:02,554 --> 00:17:04,222 MICHAEL, MY BUTT HURTS! 471 00:17:04,256 --> 00:17:05,523 PULL THIS THING OVER. 472 00:17:05,557 --> 00:17:07,235 NO, BABY, WE CAN BE AT THE RIM OF THE CANYON 473 00:17:07,259 --> 00:17:08,636 IN LESS THAN THREE HOURS. 474 00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:10,472 TWO IF YOU GIVE ME SOME MORE JITTER JUICE. 475 00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:12,096 NO, GIVE ME... GIVE ME THAT! 476 00:17:12,131 --> 00:17:13,975 NO, I NEED IT! NO! GIVE IT TO ME! 477 00:17:13,999 --> 00:17:15,600 PULL THIS THING OVER! 478 00:17:15,634 --> 00:17:17,902 WATCH THE ROAD AND PULL US OVER! 479 00:17:17,936 --> 00:17:20,104 JITTER JUICE... MWAH! 480 00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:22,006 MICHAEL, PULL IT OVER NOW! 481 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,418 I WANT TO HAVE SOME FAMILY TIME! 482 00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:24,709 I WANT FAMILY TIME! 483 00:17:24,743 --> 00:17:28,583 ALL RIGHT, OKAY, BABY. WE'LL GET FAMILY TIME. 484 00:18:06,151 --> 00:18:12,156 OKAY, NEXT STOP, THE GRAND CANYON... 485 00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:13,368 O O N. 486 00:18:13,392 --> 00:18:16,294 WHOO-HOO. 487 00:18:19,064 --> 00:18:22,767 Michael: WELL... 488 00:18:22,801 --> 00:18:25,002 THERE SHE IS. 489 00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:26,504 A BIG EMPTY HOLE? 490 00:18:26,538 --> 00:18:28,239 IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO JUNIOR'S HEAD. 491 00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:29,818 I THINK IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 492 00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:31,776 IT SURE IS. 493 00:18:31,810 --> 00:18:33,377 I SMELL GAS. 494 00:18:33,412 --> 00:18:34,622 DON'T LOOK AT ME. I'M EMPTY. 495 00:18:34,646 --> 00:18:35,913 I DO, TOO. 496 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:38,493 MICHAEL, DID YOU MESS WITH THE ENGINE OR SOMETHING? 497 00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:39,450 NO. 498 00:18:39,485 --> 00:18:41,085 MICHAEL... 499 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,964 NO, ALL I DID WAS FLIP OPEN THE REGULATOR VENTS 500 00:18:42,988 --> 00:18:44,532 TO AIR THE PLACE OUT. 501 00:18:44,556 --> 00:18:45,890 REGULATOR VENTS... 502 00:18:45,924 --> 00:18:47,602 THERE'S SOMETHING IN HERE ABOUT THAT. REGULATOR VENTS. 503 00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:48,903 WHAT IS THAT? 504 00:18:48,927 --> 00:18:51,272 THE BOOK SAYS, "ALWAYS CARRY A POCKET VERSION 505 00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:53,498 "OF 'R.V.ing VACATIONS FOR DUMMIES' 506 00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:55,410 "JUST IN CASE SOMEBODY TRY TO PLAY YOU OUT 507 00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:57,835 AND THROW YOUR BOOK OUT THE WINDOW." 508 00:18:57,870 --> 00:18:59,804 HERE IT IS. "REMEMBER TO MAKE SURE 509 00:18:59,838 --> 00:19:01,839 "YOUR REGULATOR VENTS FACE DOWNWARD 510 00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:03,852 "TO MINIMIZE VENT BLOCKAGE, WHICH CAN CAUSE 511 00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:05,887 EXCESSIVE GAS PRESSURE, RESULTING"... DOWNWA RD? 512 00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:07,422 DOWNWARD. DOWNWAR D. 513 00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:08,646 RESULTING IN THE... 514 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,882 [ EXPLOSION ] 515 00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:12,316 OH. 516 00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:14,785 NO! 517 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,687 THERE GOES THE JITTER JUICE! 518 00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:20,291 HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET HOME?! 519 00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:23,194 "RESULTING IN THE CATASTROPHIC EXPLOSION 520 00:19:23,228 --> 00:19:25,696 OF YOUR VEHICLE," MICHAEL! 521 00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:27,732 HEY, LOOK, THERE'S AN UPSIDE TO THIS. 522 00:19:27,766 --> 00:19:29,534 WHAT IS THE UPSIDE 523 00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:34,172 TO YOUR VEHICLE CATASTROPHICALLY EXPLODING? 524 00:19:34,206 --> 00:19:36,908 36 HOURS AND 24 MINUTES! 525 00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:39,521 WE MADE IT HERE! WE WON FREE GAS! 526 00:19:39,545 --> 00:19:41,279 THE WHOLE TRIP WAS FREE, 527 00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:47,885 PLUS YOU GOT A WANDERVAN 6000 KEYCHAIN. 528 00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:51,989 HUH? 529 00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:54,058 MY MAMA WAS RIGHT. 530 00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:58,729 MY MAMA WAS RIGHT ABOUT YOU. 531 00:20:02,434 --> 00:20:05,169 YOU GOT A TO SEE THEG BIRTHPLACE 532 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,305 OF MARTIN LUTHER KING? 533 00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:08,739 HAVE A DREAM. 534 00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,388 YOU GOT AN ITCH TO SEE THE LIBERTY BELL? 535 00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:15,523 WE'RE THERE. HA HA. 536 00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:18,026 GOT A HANKERING TO SEE THE BIRTHPLACE OF... 537 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:21,050 OF... OF... OF... OF... OF... OF... OF... OF... OF... 35791

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