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1
00:00:00,066 --> 00:00:03,302
[gunshots]
2
00:00:07,758 --> 00:00:09,074
AARON
ALBEIT A SEX HERO
3
00:00:09,075 --> 00:00:11,543
[women squealing]
4
00:00:11,811 --> 00:00:14,546
[alarm beeping]
5
00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:21,053
[women squealing]
6
00:00:29,062 --> 00:00:29,828
[gunshot]
7
00:00:32,065 --> 00:00:33,832
[car backfires]
8
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[chatter and laughter]
9
00:00:52,085 --> 00:00:53,285
Like a virgin?
10
00:00:53,286 --> 00:00:55,554
Touched for the very first time.
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00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:59,558
[laughs]
12
00:00:59,826 --> 00:01:03,062
Well, I always thought Jesus was black.
13
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,564
[laughter]
14
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:19,111
MAN: One more time.
15
00:01:19,112 --> 00:01:20,813
I was just about to call you.
16
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,548
Traffic.
17
00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:25,084
Uh, did you write that letter
of recommendation for me?
18
00:01:25,285 --> 00:01:27,318
You're making a big mistake.
19
00:01:27,319 --> 00:01:28,587
I don't want to leave.
20
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:31,356
It's just, uh, time for
something different.
21
00:01:31,357 --> 00:01:34,560
Tell you what... you make
these passengers happy,
22
00:01:34,794 --> 00:01:36,295
I'll make you a glowing recommendation
23
00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:38,797
when you get back.
24
00:01:39,065 --> 00:01:40,799
I always make them happy.
25
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:44,103
Don't let me down, now.
26
00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:46,805
Have I ever?
27
00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:50,809
[car beeping]
28
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,080
One more time.
29
00:02:02,088 --> 00:02:03,322
Grandma?
30
00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:05,290
Didn't I tell you he was just adorable?
31
00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:06,558
You are going on this trip?
32
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,093
You know, when he was just yea high
33
00:02:08,094 --> 00:02:11,096
he used to take his dog all
around the neighborhood,
34
00:02:11,097 --> 00:02:12,064
giving them tours.
35
00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:13,565
Oh! [laughs]
36
00:02:13,566 --> 00:02:15,534
Your mother told me
this was your last tour.
37
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:18,303
And I just couldn't
miss it for the world.
38
00:02:18,538 --> 00:02:20,072
[stutter] I can't...
39
00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:22,574
It's this or I stay home and
watch the Weather Channel.
40
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,810
Now, you just go ahead
and do what you're doing.
41
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,546
I will sit right here
and be quiet as a mouse.
42
00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:29,314
You don't want to do this.
43
00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:31,049
Of course I do!
44
00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:34,052
The girls and I are already
becoming best friends.
45
00:02:34,053 --> 00:02:35,320
Is it hot in here?
46
00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:36,088
Yeah.
47
00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:37,088
Yes.
48
00:02:37,089 --> 00:02:38,275
It is.
49
00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:42,294
Good morning, starlets, celebrities,
50
00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:43,562
and Hollywood legends.
51
00:02:43,796 --> 00:02:50,068
On behalf of your professional driver,
52
00:02:50,069 --> 00:02:56,308
who will introduce himself
later, and myself, Aaron
53
00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:58,544
"I've Seen it All" Morgan...
54
00:02:58,811 --> 00:03:01,813
"I've Seen it All" Morgan...
Isn't that precious?
55
00:03:02,081 --> 00:03:04,316
You would never know he
was raised in the church.
56
00:03:04,317 --> 00:03:05,551
Oh.
57
00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:09,821
Welcome aboard Texas Tinseltown Tours!
58
00:03:09,822 --> 00:03:12,090
[cheering]
59
00:03:12,091 --> 00:03:15,294
As your host, Aaron, I
will personally guide you
60
00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:18,830
into a fantasy voyage
exploring the exciting world
61
00:03:18,831 --> 00:03:19,798
of show business.
62
00:03:20,066 --> 00:03:21,833
I am so excited.
63
00:03:22,068 --> 00:03:26,838
Yes, this evening you will
find a hidden jewel of Texas
64
00:03:26,839 --> 00:03:32,811
deep in Big Bend County, land
of outlaws and desperados,
65
00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:35,314
as I guide you passed rattlesnakes
66
00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:38,283
and killer tarantulas onto the sights
67
00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:39,785
of several movie pictures.
68
00:03:39,786 --> 00:03:41,787
When he was in school,
he was Curly in the play.
69
00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:43,088
Aw.
70
00:03:43,089 --> 00:03:46,391
He was so good, just
like he was on Broadway.
71
00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:47,059
AARON: Grammy.
72
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:52,364
Now, just go ahead and
do what you're doing.
73
00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:55,300
As your fearless leader, I will take you
74
00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:58,070
to relive some of the
famous shootouts in movies
75
00:03:58,304 --> 00:04:00,572
such as "Rio Diablo"...
76
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:01,807
WOMAN: Oh, I saw that.
77
00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:03,809
And who can forget that famous movie
78
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:08,547
with the dirty deeds of Willie
"Pass Me Another Joint" Nelson.
79
00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:09,548
Willie is my hero.
80
00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:11,049
I just love his songs.
81
00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:13,819
I saw him walking down
the street one time.
82
00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:15,554
I was just coming out of the store,
83
00:04:15,788 --> 00:04:18,557
and I was looking to see if it
was safe to cross the street,
84
00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:22,828
and there he was... pigtails,
bandana, everything.
85
00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:24,062
[cooing]
86
00:04:24,063 --> 00:04:26,565
If I had walked out of that
store 10 seconds earlier,
87
00:04:26,799 --> 00:04:28,300
I would've bumped right into him.
88
00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:30,302
Aw!
89
00:04:30,303 --> 00:04:31,803
Grammy.
90
00:04:31,804 --> 00:04:37,075
You know, old people talk so
much because we have lived.
91
00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:39,311
And to top it off
tonight, we'll be staying
92
00:04:39,312 --> 00:04:43,315
at the Contrabando Guest Ranch,
sleeping on the bed sheets
93
00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:44,549
of the stars. [tongue click]
94
00:04:44,817 --> 00:04:46,785
I hope they've washed them since then.
95
00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:47,552
Mhm.
96
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,561
We can go now.
97
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:09,808
[salsa music playing]
98
00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:20,285
WOMEN: (CHANTING)
Barbarossa, Barbarossa,
99
00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:23,789
Barbarossa, Barbarossa!
100
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,792
[cheering]
101
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,297
AARON: Did you just hire on?
102
00:05:32,298 --> 00:05:33,098
DRIVER: Yeah.
103
00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:40,305
AARON: So why did
you take this job?
104
00:05:40,306 --> 00:05:42,307
DRIVER: The money.
105
00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:43,542
AARON: I hear you.
106
00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:45,544
You think you're gonna stay with it?
107
00:05:45,812 --> 00:05:48,046
DRIVER: Whatever.
108
00:05:48,047 --> 00:05:50,782
AARON: Well, this
is my last rodeo.
109
00:05:50,783 --> 00:05:53,285
DRIVER: [scoff] Yeah,
your... your granny
110
00:05:53,553 --> 00:05:54,820
told us all about it.
111
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,328
AARON: Remember, ladies,
we have a schedule to keep.
112
00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:06,331
I like to take my time.
113
00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:09,534
Well, don't take too long,
'cause I've got to go.
114
00:06:09,836 --> 00:06:11,069
You're doing a great job, honey.
115
00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:20,312
DRIVER: Nice perfume.
116
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:21,847
Oh, do you like it?
117
00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:23,548
It's called Summer Rain.
118
00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:25,784
It smells like you got soaked.
119
00:06:26,085 --> 00:06:28,787
Uh, did you realize that
that mountain range over there
120
00:06:29,088 --> 00:06:30,055
in the distance, it's the same mountain
121
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:32,324
range used in John
Ford's classic Western,
122
00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:33,825
"How the West was Won"?
123
00:06:33,826 --> 00:06:36,094
WOMAN: They shot that in Utah.
124
00:06:36,095 --> 00:06:39,798
No, it was an establishing
shot early in the movie.
125
00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:42,534
Look at that mountain range over there.
126
00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:44,069
Hey, that was real smooth.
127
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,070
This van stinks.
128
00:06:45,304 --> 00:06:47,072
Yeah, well, get used to it.
129
00:06:54,814 --> 00:06:57,549
You know, smoking will kill you.
130
00:06:57,817 --> 00:07:00,552
Well, I like to live on the edge.
131
00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:04,089
[highway noise]
132
00:07:23,075 --> 00:07:25,310
You been to the bars downtown yet?
133
00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:26,311
No.
134
00:07:31,317 --> 00:07:32,317
My name is Aaron.
135
00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:38,056
DRIVER: Yeah, I heard.
136
00:07:38,324 --> 00:07:39,291
And your name is?
137
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,296
Jesse.
138
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,564
AARON: Jesse.
139
00:07:45,565 --> 00:07:48,066
Funny, you don't look like a Jesse.
140
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,535
It's Jesus.
141
00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:53,305
Shouldn't your nickname be "Hese"?
142
00:07:53,573 --> 00:07:54,539
Fuck you.
143
00:07:54,540 --> 00:07:55,540
Trying.
144
00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:57,309
Is it hot, or is it just me?
145
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,578
I'll turn up the air conditioner.
146
00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:00,812
It's going full blast.
147
00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:02,314
Why don't you tell them to take off
148
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,315
some of those stupid costumes.
149
00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:05,083
It's the way this tour works.
150
00:08:05,084 --> 00:08:09,287
They dress like movie stars and
we treat them like movie stars.
151
00:08:09,288 --> 00:08:12,290
You're gonna love it.
152
00:08:12,291 --> 00:08:16,294
[salsa music playing]
153
00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:35,313
That's strange.
154
00:08:42,822 --> 00:08:44,823
Why the stop?
155
00:08:44,824 --> 00:08:47,325
AGENT: New driver?
156
00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:48,059
Yeah.
157
00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:56,568
Uh, Jimmy got drunk last week
in Mexico and disappeared.
158
00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:58,303
So what's up?
159
00:08:58,571 --> 00:09:02,541
Trouble on the border...
Just warning folks.
160
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:05,810
[sniffs] You smell purty.
161
00:09:06,078 --> 00:09:07,846
Yeah, and I think I laughed when
162
00:09:08,147 --> 00:09:09,080
you said that last November.
163
00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:13,785
Oh, hello.
164
00:09:14,086 --> 00:09:15,320
Hello, Officer.
165
00:09:15,321 --> 00:09:16,555
Officer!
166
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:17,822
Hello, ladies.
167
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:20,558
WOMAN: Can we get some
[inaudible]? [laughs]
168
00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:22,561
Now, you'll all be perfectly
safe at the guest ranch
169
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,062
tonight.
170
00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:25,564
But just be sure, I want you
to keep your doors locked
171
00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:28,300
and don't let anybody
in... unless, of course,
172
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:29,801
I come by to check on you.
173
00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:32,304
That would be nice.
174
00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:34,539
What about you?
175
00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:36,541
I'm Aaron's grandmother.
176
00:09:36,542 --> 00:09:37,576
She's with me.
177
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,543
Oh, really?
178
00:09:38,544 --> 00:09:41,813
Uh, hey, nice to meet you, ma'am.
179
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:46,051
You didn't tell me
Grandma was riding today.
180
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:47,552
Yeah, yeah.
181
00:09:50,289 --> 00:09:52,791
Maybe coming by the
ranch house later tonight,
182
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:54,826
unless Grandma's gonna be watching.
183
00:09:55,061 --> 00:09:57,562
You know, why don't you
bang on some cabin doors
184
00:09:57,563 --> 00:09:58,563
and see what it get you?
185
00:09:58,564 --> 00:09:59,831
Oh, I'll be banging all right.
186
00:09:59,832 --> 00:10:02,100
It won't be on doors.
187
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,835
Whatever will your wife say?
188
00:10:03,836 --> 00:10:07,539
Hey, I'm only married when I'm home.
189
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:09,541
Let's go.
190
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:11,076
[engine starting]
191
00:10:11,077 --> 00:10:15,547
[salsa music playing]
192
00:10:35,835 --> 00:10:37,102
Hello, ladies!
193
00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:39,537
Welcome to the guest ranch of the stars,
194
00:10:39,538 --> 00:10:41,806
our little oasis in the desert.
195
00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:43,074
How quaint.
196
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,343
GRAMMY: Thank you so much.
197
00:10:45,344 --> 00:10:48,313
Oh, y'all are dress up cute. [laughs]
198
00:10:48,547 --> 00:10:51,816
Just smell this clean air.
199
00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:53,084
[sniff] [sigh]
200
00:10:53,085 --> 00:10:55,320
I am just burning up.
201
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,789
They better have air
conditioning in this place.
202
00:10:58,057 --> 00:10:59,324
Thank you, Aaron.
203
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:00,558
Oh, you're welcome.
204
00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:02,560
Fasten your seat belts, fellows.
205
00:11:02,561 --> 00:11:04,863
It's gonna be a bumpy night.
206
00:11:05,064 --> 00:11:07,065
Well, I'll see you at breakfast.
207
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,534
You know, you have
such fun on this tour.
208
00:11:09,535 --> 00:11:13,538
Are you sure that you want to
go to work for that cruise line?
209
00:11:13,539 --> 00:11:14,839
It's a better job.
210
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,308
But you'll go to so
many dangerous places.
211
00:11:17,309 --> 00:11:19,811
I hear stories all the
time about pirates.
212
00:11:20,112 --> 00:11:21,813
[laughs] Grammy.
213
00:11:21,814 --> 00:11:24,349
There's no pirates in Hawaii.
214
00:11:24,550 --> 00:11:26,117
I worry about you.
215
00:11:26,118 --> 00:11:28,053
Your life hasn't been so easy.
216
00:11:28,287 --> 00:11:31,289
There will be an investigation.
217
00:11:31,290 --> 00:11:32,057
That's true.
218
00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:37,062
If anything should happen to you,
219
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:40,065
it would just break my heart.
220
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:43,068
I can take care of myself.
221
00:11:43,069 --> 00:11:46,071
I know you can.
222
00:11:46,305 --> 00:11:49,307
Get some rest, and I'll
see you in the morning.
223
00:11:49,575 --> 00:11:50,308
All right.
224
00:11:50,609 --> 00:11:52,310
Mwah.
225
00:11:52,578 --> 00:11:53,311
Love you.
226
00:11:53,579 --> 00:11:54,312
GRAMMY: Love you.
227
00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:05,123
Aw, so sweet.
228
00:12:05,124 --> 00:12:06,791
I didn't know she was coming.
229
00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:08,626
Relax.
230
00:12:08,627 --> 00:12:11,796
I got a grandma, too.
231
00:12:11,797 --> 00:12:14,065
Hey, uh, listen.
232
00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:17,102
Maybe we got off on the wrong foot.
233
00:12:17,369 --> 00:12:20,071
Maybe after dinner, I could take
you to the local watering hole.
234
00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:22,574
I don't think that's a very good idea.
235
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:23,108
Come on.
236
00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:24,808
I'll buy you a beer.
237
00:12:24,809 --> 00:12:26,311
No.
238
00:12:26,312 --> 00:12:29,814
In fact, I think you better
stay in your room tonight.
239
00:12:29,815 --> 00:12:31,082
No, my boss is cool with it.
240
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:33,284
I'm, like, his favorite tour guide.
241
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,787
I didn't think he liked gay guys.
242
00:12:35,788 --> 00:12:38,289
Hey, look, asshole, I don't
need this shit from you.
243
00:12:38,290 --> 00:12:39,090
Chill out.
244
00:12:39,291 --> 00:12:40,091
Jesus.
245
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:42,060
Oh, I thought it was "Haysus."
246
00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:43,294
Who's being the asshole here?
247
00:12:43,562 --> 00:12:46,798
You know, forget I even invited you.
248
00:12:46,799 --> 00:12:48,800
Why would I want to have a
drink with someone like you?
249
00:12:49,068 --> 00:12:50,335
Just stay in your room.
250
00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:52,804
If you're worried about it, I'm not
251
00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:54,072
gonna be knocking on your door.
252
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:36,114
[crinkling]
253
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:15,253
Four hours, 3:45.
254
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:26,064
Hi, this is Aaron Morgan
calling for Debbie.
255
00:14:26,065 --> 00:14:27,265
Thank you.
256
00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:31,269
Debbie, hi.
257
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:33,271
It's Aaron Morgan calling again.
258
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:34,772
Yeah.
259
00:14:34,773 --> 00:14:37,075
Listen, my boss is gonna send
that letter of recommendation.
260
00:14:37,276 --> 00:14:39,010
And yeah, things are going great.
261
00:14:39,011 --> 00:14:40,044
Uh-huh, yeah.
262
00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:42,780
I've... I've quit smoking.
263
00:14:42,781 --> 00:14:43,548
Uh-huh.
264
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:49,787
Yeah.
265
00:14:50,022 --> 00:14:51,289
Well, I... I talked to him this morning.
266
00:14:51,290 --> 00:14:52,523
He's gonna send it.
267
00:14:52,791 --> 00:14:54,259
[sigh] I mean, look.
268
00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:57,061
Can you make a little
exception for... just this once?
269
00:14:57,329 --> 00:15:04,535
No, I'm not asking special
favors, but... I know,
270
00:15:04,770 --> 00:15:06,337
but he's been really busy.
271
00:15:08,774 --> 00:15:10,275
OK.
272
00:15:10,276 --> 00:15:12,510
But you know, I could be
there whenever you needed me.
273
00:15:12,511 --> 00:15:16,547
Like, hell, I could do
there Monday, you know.
274
00:15:16,548 --> 00:15:17,515
All right.
275
00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:25,023
Uh-huh.
276
00:15:29,028 --> 00:15:30,295
Thank you.
277
00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:31,829
Yeah, have a good night.
278
00:15:35,067 --> 00:15:36,501
[phone snaps shut]
279
00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:05,263
Could you do just a
special favor for me?
280
00:16:05,264 --> 00:16:06,297
WOMAN: There will
be an investigation.
281
00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:07,799
MAN: You're making
a big mistake.
282
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,767
If you resign, we could
forget the whole matter.
283
00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:13,771
They know you were a fag?
284
00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:30,782
[tense music playing]
285
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,517
[thud]
286
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,522
[thud]
287
00:19:05,094 --> 00:19:08,546
[knocking]
288
00:19:14,753 --> 00:19:16,254
What's up?
289
00:19:16,255 --> 00:19:17,054
Hey.
290
00:19:42,047 --> 00:19:44,282
What's the matter?
291
00:19:44,516 --> 00:19:45,783
I don't want to do this.
292
00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:51,022
What do you mean?
293
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:51,756
I need a beer.
294
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:57,028
I'll get you a 12-pack.
295
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,029
No, let's go to the bar.
296
00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,030
Uh-uh, I can't.
297
00:19:59,264 --> 00:20:00,264
My sister-in-law's out tonight.
298
00:20:00,265 --> 00:20:02,033
If she sees me, I'll be in deep shit.
299
00:20:05,504 --> 00:20:06,771
You should tell your wife.
300
00:20:09,508 --> 00:20:10,274
She knows.
301
00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:15,079
She knows she doesn't need to know.
302
00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:25,256
Hey, take a shower before I get back.
303
00:20:25,524 --> 00:20:26,791
You smell like an old lady.
304
00:20:26,792 --> 00:20:28,759
Yeah, well, the old
ladies might hear you.
305
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,061
Pssh.
306
00:20:30,262 --> 00:20:33,764
They couldn't hear gunfire
if it was outside their door.
307
00:20:34,032 --> 00:20:34,799
You know what?
308
00:20:35,033 --> 00:20:38,769
I might not be awake when you get back.
309
00:20:39,037 --> 00:20:40,504
You'll wake up for this.
310
00:21:05,530 --> 00:21:06,530
[shower running]
311
00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:08,065
Heh.
312
00:21:08,066 --> 00:21:09,033
Closet case.
313
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:29,520
Will you tutor me after school?
314
00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:31,055
We could forget the whole matter.
315
00:21:35,260 --> 00:21:39,030
[tense music playing]
316
00:23:18,330 --> 00:23:19,029
You're it, kid.
317
00:23:50,529 --> 00:23:52,062
Can you beat that?
318
00:24:09,047 --> 00:24:10,281
MAN: (STERNLY) Take care of it.
319
00:24:24,796 --> 00:24:28,265
Why does this guy get half my cut, Tom?
320
00:24:28,533 --> 00:24:29,266
Don't call me that.
321
00:24:35,807 --> 00:24:37,575
He killed him.
322
00:24:37,576 --> 00:24:39,276
You were supposed to be on the lookout.
323
00:24:39,511 --> 00:24:41,779
And what were you doing?
324
00:24:41,780 --> 00:24:45,749
Just a little "Risky Business."
325
00:24:45,750 --> 00:24:48,285
Don't push me.
326
00:24:48,286 --> 00:24:49,253
Hey.
327
00:24:49,254 --> 00:24:52,289
What's going on here?
328
00:24:52,290 --> 00:24:54,291
[fighting sounds]
329
00:24:54,292 --> 00:24:55,559
Stop.
330
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:57,528
God damn you!
331
00:24:57,762 --> 00:24:59,530
Get the fuck off of me!
332
00:24:59,531 --> 00:25:01,532
I didn't do anything.
333
00:25:01,766 --> 00:25:02,500
[grunting]
334
00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:03,767
Idiot.
335
00:25:04,035 --> 00:25:04,502
Ow!
336
00:25:04,769 --> 00:25:06,504
You're distracting me.
337
00:25:06,505 --> 00:25:11,041
I told you to stay in your room.
338
00:25:11,042 --> 00:25:15,279
[phone ringing]
339
00:25:24,289 --> 00:25:25,523
Yeah.
340
00:25:25,790 --> 00:25:27,258
We got a problem, boss.
341
00:25:27,259 --> 00:25:29,026
Yeah.
342
00:25:29,027 --> 00:25:30,794
Your tour guide saw everything.
343
00:25:33,265 --> 00:25:34,265
Take care of it.
344
00:25:37,269 --> 00:25:38,302
Take care of it.
345
00:25:38,303 --> 00:25:39,503
Did he say that?
346
00:25:39,504 --> 00:25:41,272
Take care of it!
347
00:25:41,273 --> 00:25:42,039
I got it.
348
00:25:46,278 --> 00:25:47,278
JESSE: Not here.
349
00:25:47,512 --> 00:25:49,547
You're gonna wake everyone up.
350
00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:50,781
[grunt]
351
00:25:50,782 --> 00:25:52,283
JESSE: I'll do it.
352
00:25:56,521 --> 00:26:00,824
Just have this shit done
by the time I get back.
353
00:26:00,825 --> 00:26:04,261
[cough] Ah.
354
00:26:42,267 --> 00:26:43,767
[groan]
355
00:26:47,539 --> 00:26:48,505
[groan]
356
00:27:03,521 --> 00:27:04,521
[panting]
357
00:27:04,756 --> 00:27:05,522
JESSE: What'd you
see back there?
358
00:27:05,523 --> 00:27:06,523
I didn't see anything.
359
00:27:06,524 --> 00:27:07,257
JESSE: What did you see?
360
00:27:07,525 --> 00:27:08,559
I didn't see anything!
361
00:27:08,793 --> 00:27:11,028
You're gonna have to get
lost, disappear, you hear me?
362
00:27:11,029 --> 00:27:12,763
You call the cops,
you're dead, all right?
363
00:27:13,031 --> 00:27:14,264
Please don't kill me.
364
00:27:14,265 --> 00:27:15,032
I can't harm you.
365
00:27:15,033 --> 00:27:15,799
I'm just a tour guide.
366
00:27:16,067 --> 00:27:17,534
Please don't kill me.
367
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,782
[leaves rustling]
368
00:27:32,050 --> 00:27:35,519
[panting]
369
00:28:20,765 --> 00:28:24,802
[phone ringing]
370
00:28:24,803 --> 00:28:26,270
WOMAN (ON PHONE): [inaudible].
371
00:28:26,271 --> 00:28:28,806
These guys, they tried to kill me.
372
00:28:42,020 --> 00:28:43,053
It's done.
373
00:29:09,781 --> 00:29:14,251
[soft conversation]
374
00:30:04,769 --> 00:30:06,537
What did the park ranger want?
375
00:30:06,538 --> 00:30:07,271
Nothing.
376
00:30:07,572 --> 00:30:08,272
Bullshit.
377
00:30:11,042 --> 00:30:14,077
He was looking for the kid.
378
00:30:14,078 --> 00:30:17,548
[sigh] I think he
wanted sex or something.
379
00:30:17,549 --> 00:30:22,052
I told him he was out drinking
with the Border Patrol guy.
380
00:30:22,287 --> 00:30:23,520
You took care of him?
381
00:30:23,755 --> 00:30:24,755
Yeah, what'd I tell you?
382
00:30:25,056 --> 00:30:26,790
Look, you're gonna need
to get out of here.
383
00:30:27,058 --> 00:30:28,525
Where did you dump the body?
384
00:30:28,526 --> 00:30:29,259
Across the river.
385
00:30:29,527 --> 00:30:30,294
Chill.
386
00:30:32,764 --> 00:30:33,530
I'm going to bed.
387
00:30:36,501 --> 00:30:37,768
It's cool, all right?
388
00:30:50,782 --> 00:30:55,519
[phone ringing]
389
00:30:55,787 --> 00:30:57,521
Yeah.
390
00:30:57,789 --> 00:31:00,257
We took care of it.
391
00:31:00,258 --> 00:31:01,758
But there's something else.
392
00:31:01,759 --> 00:31:04,261
Yeah?
393
00:31:04,262 --> 00:31:05,796
I'll call you back.
394
00:31:05,797 --> 00:31:09,766
23% of all accidents last year
were due to cell phone use.
395
00:31:10,068 --> 00:31:13,036
There was a study conducted
on the use of handheld phones
396
00:31:13,037 --> 00:31:16,506
to see if they were any
safer, but the results
397
00:31:16,507 --> 00:31:17,774
are inconclusive.
398
00:31:17,775 --> 00:31:20,777
Most analysts believe that
the actual act of talking
399
00:31:20,778 --> 00:31:24,047
on that cell phone is more
distracting to the driver
400
00:31:24,048 --> 00:31:26,049
than conversations in the car.
401
00:31:26,050 --> 00:31:27,050
[thud]
402
00:31:27,051 --> 00:31:27,784
[scream]
403
00:31:27,785 --> 00:31:28,752
[tires squealing]
404
00:31:29,053 --> 00:31:30,020
Did you hit it?
405
00:31:30,288 --> 00:31:31,288
I think you hit it.
406
00:31:31,289 --> 00:31:32,522
It's just a deer.
407
00:31:32,790 --> 00:31:36,026
Texas deer accounted
for 18% of the accidents.
408
00:31:36,027 --> 00:31:37,794
Though not fatal, the most dangerous
409
00:31:37,795 --> 00:31:40,530
collision you could have with
an animal is the boar hog.
410
00:31:40,765 --> 00:31:42,532
And that's because when
the vehicle hits it,
411
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:47,070
it flips over it, and it will
kill the people in the vehicle.
412
00:31:47,071 --> 00:31:50,507
It's not surprising that Aaron
was intoxicated on the job.
413
00:31:50,508 --> 00:31:53,510
In a recent survey conducted
by the Mannon Corporation,
414
00:31:53,511 --> 00:31:58,282
alcoholism contributes to
38% of job absenteeism.
415
00:31:58,549 --> 00:32:00,250
That is very prevalent
in industries that
416
00:32:00,518 --> 00:32:03,520
have unusual hours and the shift work
417
00:32:03,755 --> 00:32:05,822
and all the things
that contribute to the,
418
00:32:05,823 --> 00:32:09,259
you know... just mess up
your circadian rhythm.
419
00:32:09,260 --> 00:32:10,260
I need some coffee.
420
00:32:25,510 --> 00:32:27,044
(WHISPERING) God, I'm
gonna kill this woman
421
00:32:27,045 --> 00:32:29,046
if she doesn't shut up.
422
00:32:29,047 --> 00:32:30,514
Jesus Christ.
423
00:32:36,054 --> 00:32:38,522
[phone ringing]
424
00:32:43,261 --> 00:32:46,029
Yeah, we may have a problem.
425
00:32:46,030 --> 00:32:47,798
Take care of it.
426
00:32:58,042 --> 00:33:02,279
[phone ringing]
427
00:33:04,782 --> 00:33:05,549
Yeah.
428
00:33:09,053 --> 00:33:11,088
Yeah, we took care of it.
429
00:33:21,065 --> 00:33:22,766
[gun clicking]
430
00:33:39,784 --> 00:33:42,519
Look, either you take
care of it, or I will.
431
00:33:49,260 --> 00:33:50,794
He hung up.
432
00:33:51,029 --> 00:33:52,529
Well, what did he say?
433
00:33:52,764 --> 00:33:56,533
He said we better
take of it, or he will.
434
00:33:56,534 --> 00:33:57,768
Shit.
435
00:33:58,036 --> 00:34:00,037
MAN: Did... did he say that?
436
00:34:00,038 --> 00:34:01,271
MAN: Ah, fuck.
437
00:34:01,539 --> 00:34:03,040
Where's that van driver?
438
00:34:03,041 --> 00:34:04,274
In his room.
439
00:34:04,275 --> 00:34:05,275
I've been watching him.
440
00:34:05,276 --> 00:34:09,046
Get him to show you the body.
441
00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:13,784
[music playing]
442
00:34:33,538 --> 00:34:39,042
Yeah, I called about the
guys hijacking my van.
443
00:34:39,043 --> 00:34:41,278
No, I haven't been drinking.
444
00:34:41,512 --> 00:34:45,782
You... no, this isn't a prank!
445
00:34:46,050 --> 00:34:48,518
You have to listen to me.
446
00:34:48,519 --> 00:34:49,252
Hello?
447
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:50,520
We could forget...
448
00:34:50,521 --> 00:34:52,756
The only way you are going to pass...
449
00:34:53,057 --> 00:34:54,024
Special favor for me?
450
00:34:54,025 --> 00:34:55,325
There will be an investigation.
451
00:34:55,326 --> 00:34:56,259
MAN: You're making
a big mistake, son.
452
00:34:56,260 --> 00:34:57,527
What are you doing after school?
453
00:34:57,762 --> 00:34:59,763
What is going on in your
classroom, Mr. Morgan?
454
00:35:00,031 --> 00:35:01,531
How old are you?
455
00:35:04,535 --> 00:35:09,039
I just called about the
guys hijacking my van.
456
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:11,541
This is not a prank!
457
00:35:14,278 --> 00:35:18,281
God dammit!
458
00:35:18,282 --> 00:35:21,251
[owl hooting]
459
00:35:35,266 --> 00:35:37,767
[clinking]
460
00:35:41,272 --> 00:35:43,273
[knocking]
461
00:35:44,775 --> 00:35:45,775
Open up!
462
00:36:32,557 --> 00:36:33,757
This is bullshit.
463
00:36:38,529 --> 00:36:42,032
[twigs snapping]
464
00:37:03,754 --> 00:37:04,521
Aaron.
465
00:37:16,267 --> 00:37:17,033
Aaron.
466
00:37:21,772 --> 00:37:22,505
Aaron.
467
00:37:25,810 --> 00:37:27,510
Aaron!
468
00:37:27,511 --> 00:37:29,045
Where are you?
469
00:37:32,516 --> 00:37:34,751
[twigs snapping]
470
00:37:34,752 --> 00:37:35,552
Aaron.
471
00:37:39,757 --> 00:37:40,523
Aaron!
472
00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:51,034
Aaron.
473
00:38:05,516 --> 00:38:07,050
[gunshot]
474
00:38:08,786 --> 00:38:09,552
Fuck.
475
00:38:20,531 --> 00:38:23,266
I told you not to call the cops.
476
00:38:23,267 --> 00:38:24,534
Ow.
477
00:38:24,535 --> 00:38:25,535
I told you not to call the cops.
478
00:38:25,536 --> 00:38:27,070
I did, so fuck you!
479
00:38:27,071 --> 00:38:30,774
You're not gonna get away
with whatever you're doing.
480
00:38:55,766 --> 00:38:57,267
Hold it right there!
481
00:38:57,535 --> 00:39:00,036
Drop that weapon now!
482
00:39:06,777 --> 00:39:11,781
Hey, Martin, you're Tom Cruise.
483
00:39:12,016 --> 00:39:13,550
[laughs]
484
00:39:13,784 --> 00:39:17,287
AGENT: Wow, I'm, uh...
Look at you, man.
485
00:39:17,288 --> 00:39:18,254
[laughs] Yeah.
486
00:39:18,255 --> 00:39:20,023
Man, my wife's crazy about you.
487
00:39:20,024 --> 00:39:21,057
Oh, really?
488
00:39:21,058 --> 00:39:22,258
Although, man, I really don't know what
489
00:39:22,259 --> 00:39:24,260
she sees in someone so short.
490
00:39:24,528 --> 00:39:25,528
Man, what are you guys doing?
491
00:39:25,763 --> 00:39:26,296
You filming around here?
492
00:39:26,530 --> 00:39:27,263
I, uh...
493
00:39:27,531 --> 00:39:28,765
Man, I hadn't heard nothing.
494
00:39:28,766 --> 00:39:31,301
I, uh... I can't really...
[awkward laugh] I
495
00:39:31,302 --> 00:39:32,535
can't really say.
496
00:39:32,770 --> 00:39:33,536
Oh, I get it.
497
00:39:33,771 --> 00:39:34,504
Yeah, yeah.
498
00:39:34,772 --> 00:39:35,538
Top secret, man.
499
00:39:35,539 --> 00:39:37,574
Hey, I won't say a thing.
500
00:39:37,575 --> 00:39:39,509
Oh, thanks.
501
00:39:39,510 --> 00:39:42,278
[grunting]
502
00:40:18,315 --> 00:40:21,251
Don't let anyone near the van.
503
00:40:34,064 --> 00:40:36,266
JESSE: This is a
sting, you asshole.
504
00:40:36,267 --> 00:40:37,767
What, so you're a narc?
505
00:40:37,768 --> 00:40:39,269
JESSE: Oh, that's good
police work, Luke.
506
00:40:39,270 --> 00:40:40,537
Fuck, yes I'm a narc.
507
00:40:40,805 --> 00:40:42,772
So I did you a favor.
508
00:40:42,773 --> 00:40:44,274
I called the cops.
509
00:40:44,275 --> 00:40:45,775
You probably blew my cover.
510
00:40:45,776 --> 00:40:48,278
Those assholes back there
and worthless to me.
511
00:40:48,279 --> 00:40:50,513
I need to catch the boss with
his hands on the shit for this
512
00:40:50,514 --> 00:40:52,782
to work.
513
00:40:53,050 --> 00:40:54,551
The bus wasn't even
supposed to go down 'til
514
00:40:54,552 --> 00:40:55,552
the van got back to Austin.
515
00:40:55,786 --> 00:40:56,786
Yeah, well, you should have told me.
516
00:40:56,787 --> 00:40:58,288
How was I supposed to know?
517
00:40:58,289 --> 00:40:59,756
You didn't need to know.
518
00:40:59,757 --> 00:41:01,257
Uh, maybe I did.
519
00:41:14,038 --> 00:41:16,773
You would have blown my cover.
520
00:41:16,774 --> 00:41:21,511
So you didn't tell me, but
I blow your cover anyways.
521
00:41:21,512 --> 00:41:22,779
Oh, that's brilliant.
522
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:25,281
I want to work where you work.
523
00:41:25,282 --> 00:41:27,784
Didn't somebody once say
the Central Intelligence
524
00:41:27,785 --> 00:41:30,553
Agency is an oxymoron?
525
00:41:30,554 --> 00:41:31,521
JESSE: George Carlin said that.
526
00:41:31,822 --> 00:41:32,522
And that was the CIA.
527
00:41:32,523 --> 00:41:33,556
I'm the DEA.
528
00:41:39,530 --> 00:41:40,763
We're the good guys.
529
00:41:41,031 --> 00:41:42,265
Come on.
530
00:41:42,266 --> 00:41:43,299
No.
531
00:41:43,534 --> 00:41:46,236
No, the good guys don't
kick me in the stomach.
532
00:41:50,241 --> 00:41:51,241
I had to do that.
533
00:41:54,545 --> 00:41:55,979
You would've blown my cover.
534
00:42:00,017 --> 00:42:02,218
Where the fuck are you going?
535
00:42:02,219 --> 00:42:03,520
To the ranch.
536
00:42:03,521 --> 00:42:04,988
You can't go back there.
537
00:42:05,256 --> 00:42:06,489
Stop me, narc.
538
00:42:06,757 --> 00:42:07,490
You're dead.
539
00:42:07,491 --> 00:42:09,225
Still walking.
540
00:42:09,493 --> 00:42:11,728
You go back there, they'll
kill you on the spot.
541
00:42:11,729 --> 00:42:14,998
Look, I'm not staying here, OK?
542
00:42:14,999 --> 00:42:16,499
I'm going back to the ranch, where
543
00:42:16,734 --> 00:42:18,001
I'll get my grandmother and her friends,
544
00:42:18,002 --> 00:42:21,004
and we're getting out of here.
545
00:42:21,005 --> 00:42:22,005
I can't let you do that.
546
00:42:24,508 --> 00:42:25,241
What?
547
00:42:25,476 --> 00:42:26,743
Come on.
548
00:42:26,744 --> 00:42:28,244
Shoot the homo.
549
00:42:36,754 --> 00:42:40,223
I'll send an agent in the morning.
550
00:42:40,224 --> 00:42:42,725
Right.
551
00:42:42,726 --> 00:42:44,260
I believe you.
552
00:42:49,266 --> 00:42:51,734
JESSE: Would you at
least stay off the road?
553
00:42:51,735 --> 00:42:53,036
Am I on the road?
554
00:42:53,037 --> 00:42:53,770
No.
555
00:42:53,771 --> 00:42:55,238
[snake rattling]
556
00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:56,506
Hey, freeze.
557
00:42:56,724 --> 00:42:59,008
Don't... don't move.
558
00:43:04,782 --> 00:43:06,015
Whoa, whoa.
559
00:43:11,989 --> 00:43:14,991
It's three feet in front of you.
560
00:43:19,496 --> 00:43:20,229
Get back.
561
00:43:23,767 --> 00:43:25,001
What are you doing?
562
00:43:25,235 --> 00:43:26,002
Get back.
563
00:43:34,478 --> 00:43:35,278
Whoa!
564
00:43:35,512 --> 00:43:36,479
Oh!
565
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:37,513
Ow!
566
00:43:37,514 --> 00:43:38,481
Fuck.
567
00:43:38,482 --> 00:43:40,483
Ah.
568
00:43:40,484 --> 00:43:41,484
JESSE: Where's it at?
569
00:43:41,485 --> 00:43:42,485
It's not a snake bite.
570
00:43:42,703 --> 00:43:44,487
It's probably just a scorpion.
571
00:43:59,737 --> 00:44:01,070
Keep the lights turned off.
572
00:44:13,017 --> 00:44:14,250
Will you tutor me after school?
573
00:44:14,485 --> 00:44:17,754
What was going on in your
classroom, Mr. Morgan?
574
00:44:17,755 --> 00:44:19,722
After school?
575
00:44:20,057 --> 00:44:21,224
MAN: You're making
a big mistake, son.
576
00:44:24,762 --> 00:44:26,729
JESSE: I told you to
stay off the road.
577
00:44:26,997 --> 00:44:28,031
Not listening.
578
00:44:30,734 --> 00:44:33,002
You are not gonna
fuck this op up for me.
579
00:44:33,237 --> 00:44:35,038
Fuck you.
580
00:44:35,239 --> 00:44:36,773
That's what it is, isn't it?
581
00:44:36,774 --> 00:44:39,042
You want to, don't you?
582
00:44:39,243 --> 00:44:40,043
Yeah.
583
00:44:40,044 --> 00:44:40,777
Yeah, I did.
584
00:44:41,011 --> 00:44:42,011
I thought you were hot.
585
00:44:42,246 --> 00:44:44,013
How do you like that, motherfucker, huh?
586
00:44:44,014 --> 00:44:46,482
The fag wanted to fuck the van driver.
587
00:44:46,750 --> 00:44:48,017
Woohoo, first time in history a fag
588
00:44:48,252 --> 00:44:49,752
thought a straight guy
would be a good fuck.
589
00:44:49,987 --> 00:44:51,988
Who are you calling the motherfucker?
590
00:44:52,222 --> 00:44:53,256
You.
591
00:44:53,257 --> 00:44:54,724
You think you can kill
me 'cause I'm a fag
592
00:44:55,059 --> 00:44:56,025
and it wouldn't matter.
593
00:44:56,026 --> 00:44:58,494
Man, this whole "I'm gay, therefore
594
00:44:58,495 --> 00:45:01,731
"I'm a victim" act of yours, it's
the biggest turn-off for me.
595
00:45:01,999 --> 00:45:02,999
I don't understand.
596
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:05,068
JESSE: Are you fucking serious?
597
00:45:17,247 --> 00:45:19,482
You did that to shut me up.
598
00:45:26,023 --> 00:45:27,990
No hope for that.
599
00:46:26,750 --> 00:46:30,720
[speaking Spanish] Arriba.
600
00:46:31,021 --> 00:46:33,256
Hey.
601
00:46:33,524 --> 00:46:34,257
[gunshot]
602
00:47:19,736 --> 00:47:24,507
[ominous music playing]
603
00:48:13,991 --> 00:48:15,791
[rock clattering]
604
00:48:15,792 --> 00:48:17,493
Ah, shit!
605
00:48:17,494 --> 00:48:19,228
Oh, gah.
606
00:48:19,229 --> 00:48:22,498
Ah!
607
00:48:22,499 --> 00:48:22,999
Oh.
608
00:48:23,233 --> 00:48:24,467
Oh, my god.
609
00:48:24,468 --> 00:48:25,234
Oh.
610
00:48:32,743 --> 00:48:36,012
[gunshots]
611
00:48:36,013 --> 00:48:38,247
[grunt] [gasp]
612
00:48:58,001 --> 00:49:00,236
[gasp]
613
00:49:02,739 --> 00:49:04,240
[gun clicking]
614
00:49:04,474 --> 00:49:06,242
You know how to use this thing?
615
00:49:06,243 --> 00:49:08,244
Point and shoot.
616
00:49:08,245 --> 00:49:09,478
Fuck, we are dead.
617
00:49:09,746 --> 00:49:12,014
Not without taking them down with me.
618
00:49:12,249 --> 00:49:13,482
Not at me, all right?
619
00:49:13,784 --> 00:49:16,485
Hotwire this thing
and get us out of here.
620
00:49:16,486 --> 00:49:17,987
We hotwire it, the
steering's gonna lock up,
621
00:49:17,988 --> 00:49:21,490
and we drive off a cliff.
622
00:49:21,758 --> 00:49:23,259
Look, I can tell you
the guy with the gun
623
00:49:23,260 --> 00:49:25,227
"is 5 foot 7" and a lousy shot.
624
00:49:25,228 --> 00:49:26,495
The best place to find a drug smuggler
625
00:49:26,496 --> 00:49:27,763
is on the Mexican border.
626
00:49:27,764 --> 00:49:29,031
And I can run flat out for two minutes
627
00:49:29,266 --> 00:49:32,234
before dropping from a heart attack.
628
00:49:32,502 --> 00:49:35,004
What kind of man knows
those things, huh?
629
00:49:35,005 --> 00:49:36,238
Fuck.
630
00:49:36,239 --> 00:49:39,508
You've seen way too
many Matt Damon movies.
631
00:49:39,743 --> 00:49:43,245
Well, he is cute.
632
00:49:43,246 --> 00:49:47,750
But... but why were they using
my van to smuggle drugs?
633
00:49:47,751 --> 00:49:51,721
The perfume on those
broads throws the dogs off.
634
00:49:51,722 --> 00:49:54,724
It's the only way to
get past the border.
635
00:49:54,725 --> 00:49:56,258
And how do you know this?
636
00:49:56,493 --> 00:49:57,727
Your boss smuggles more drugs than they
637
00:49:57,728 --> 00:49:59,228
can make in South America?
638
00:49:59,496 --> 00:50:00,496
My boss is in on this?
639
00:50:00,764 --> 00:50:01,998
Yeah, your boss.
640
00:50:01,999 --> 00:50:03,032
My boss?
641
00:50:03,033 --> 00:50:04,500
Your boss, your tour van.
642
00:50:04,501 --> 00:50:07,737
They use these bozos to help them.
643
00:50:08,038 --> 00:50:09,739
[gasping]
644
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:12,274
[gunshots]
645
00:50:12,275 --> 00:50:15,745
[gunfire]
646
00:50:15,746 --> 00:50:17,747
I think I hit him.
647
00:50:21,752 --> 00:50:24,720
What... what if I killed him?
648
00:50:24,721 --> 00:50:27,490
You didn't kill him.
649
00:50:27,491 --> 00:50:30,993
I... I... I never killed
anything in my life before.
650
00:50:30,994 --> 00:50:33,496
I mean, when... when my dad put
my dog down, I cried for, like,
651
00:50:33,730 --> 00:50:34,730
three weeks.
652
00:50:34,998 --> 00:50:36,732
Do you think I killed him?
653
00:50:36,733 --> 00:50:37,500
You didn't even hit him.
654
00:50:37,501 --> 00:50:39,502
I got him.
655
00:50:39,503 --> 00:50:40,503
Oh.
656
00:50:40,504 --> 00:50:42,004
Oh, you think I couldn't
have gotten him?
657
00:50:42,239 --> 00:50:43,005
No.
658
00:50:43,223 --> 00:50:44,240
No, I'm... I'm sure I hit him.
659
00:50:44,474 --> 00:50:45,508
Fine. You hit him.
660
00:50:45,509 --> 00:50:46,475
You got him. You killed him.
661
00:50:46,476 --> 00:50:49,245
He's dead.
662
00:50:49,246 --> 00:50:51,747
Do... do you really think he's dead?
663
00:50:51,748 --> 00:50:54,750
I mean, what if he is dead?
664
00:50:54,751 --> 00:50:56,519
What if you were dead?
665
00:50:59,973 --> 00:51:01,757
Good point.
666
00:51:01,992 --> 00:51:06,495
[gunshots]
667
00:51:26,249 --> 00:51:28,250
He's dead.
668
00:51:28,251 --> 00:51:29,218
Jesus.
669
00:51:38,028 --> 00:51:39,495
[door slamming]
670
00:51:48,738 --> 00:51:53,742
I'll make sure someone
finds him in the morning.
671
00:51:53,743 --> 00:51:56,479
Yeah, well, we should
have gotten the keys.
672
00:51:56,480 --> 00:51:58,481
We have to leave this truck here.
673
00:51:58,482 --> 00:51:59,482
We can't just leave him here.
674
00:51:59,749 --> 00:52:00,749
JESSE: What are you gonna do?
675
00:52:00,750 --> 00:52:01,517
Take him to the sheriff?
676
00:52:01,518 --> 00:52:02,718
Hey, I found this dead guy.
677
00:52:02,719 --> 00:52:03,986
I thought I'd just bring him to you.
678
00:52:04,254 --> 00:52:05,488
Oh, and by the way, here's his gun.
679
00:52:05,489 --> 00:52:07,223
I fired it a few times,
but I swear not at him.
680
00:52:07,491 --> 00:52:09,024
He's not just some dead guy.
681
00:52:09,259 --> 00:52:11,227
JESSE: That's not gonna make
you seem any less guilty.
682
00:52:11,228 --> 00:52:12,528
God.
683
00:52:12,529 --> 00:52:13,762
JESSE: We go back to
the ranch in this truck,
684
00:52:13,763 --> 00:52:14,997
the dumbass is gonna know we knocked off
685
00:52:14,998 --> 00:52:19,001
his brute and Julie back there.
686
00:52:19,002 --> 00:52:21,237
Your boss must know you're
dead by now, which means he's
687
00:52:21,471 --> 00:52:24,240
sending a replacement
tour guide as we speak,
688
00:52:24,241 --> 00:52:26,242
just like he sent a driver.
689
00:52:26,243 --> 00:52:28,744
What's he gonna do if you show up?
690
00:52:31,515 --> 00:52:33,015
In the morning, I'm gonna take the van
691
00:52:33,016 --> 00:52:34,250
back and finish this tour.
692
00:52:34,518 --> 00:52:36,752
And then I'll bust his ass in Austin.
693
00:52:36,753 --> 00:52:38,020
No way.
694
00:52:38,021 --> 00:52:42,525
Grammy is gonna freak out
if I'm not on that van.
695
00:52:42,526 --> 00:52:43,993
I'm going back.
696
00:52:55,739 --> 00:52:57,473
I really like your grandson.
697
00:53:00,477 --> 00:53:02,478
Does he know about us?
698
00:53:05,749 --> 00:53:09,518
Well, Betty, we just
don't talk about it.
699
00:53:41,751 --> 00:53:43,752
The killing doesn't bother you?
700
00:53:46,489 --> 00:53:47,489
It's better than my last job.
701
00:53:47,757 --> 00:53:49,758
Which was what, prison guard in Iraq?
702
00:53:53,263 --> 00:53:54,230
Internet sex stings.
703
00:53:54,231 --> 00:53:55,497
What?
704
00:53:55,498 --> 00:53:57,499
You tried to catch people having sex?
705
00:53:57,734 --> 00:54:00,769
JESSE: No, like,
uh, child molesters.
706
00:54:01,004 --> 00:54:04,006
You know that you're interfering
with a federal investigation
707
00:54:04,007 --> 00:54:04,807
here.
708
00:54:05,008 --> 00:54:06,008
You're not stopping me.
709
00:54:06,009 --> 00:54:07,243
I need this job.
710
00:54:07,477 --> 00:54:10,512
I thought you were quitting.
711
00:54:10,513 --> 00:54:13,015
Well, I didn't get the job on the ship.
712
00:54:13,016 --> 00:54:14,750
Well, I hate to break it to you,
713
00:54:14,751 --> 00:54:16,218
but your boss is going away for a really
714
00:54:16,486 --> 00:54:18,020
long time after this shit.
715
00:54:18,221 --> 00:54:20,489
It's time for a new career.
716
00:54:20,724 --> 00:54:22,491
Well, I got bills to pay.
717
00:54:22,726 --> 00:54:24,793
Why don't you go back to teaching?
718
00:54:27,230 --> 00:54:29,999
How'd you know about that?
719
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:30,766
We investigate everyone.
720
00:54:34,738 --> 00:54:35,738
Great.
721
00:54:36,006 --> 00:54:38,240
Could you do just a
special favor for me?
722
00:54:38,241 --> 00:54:39,742
We're keeping a close eye on you.
723
00:54:39,743 --> 00:54:41,510
What are you doing after school?
724
00:54:41,511 --> 00:54:43,746
The only way you are
going to pass this course...
725
00:54:44,014 --> 00:54:46,015
What was going on in your
classroom, Mr. Morgan?
726
00:54:46,249 --> 00:54:47,750
--is if you study.
727
00:54:47,751 --> 00:54:51,720
If you resign, we could
forget the whole matter.
728
00:54:51,721 --> 00:54:54,757
He lied, but they believed him.
729
00:54:54,758 --> 00:54:56,225
What'd your boyfriend think?
730
00:54:56,493 --> 00:54:58,994
We broke up.
731
00:54:58,995 --> 00:55:01,497
Where's your boyfriend?
732
00:55:01,498 --> 00:55:02,498
Well, I don't have one.
733
00:55:02,499 --> 00:55:04,233
AARON: [laugh] Imagine that.
734
00:55:04,234 --> 00:55:07,036
Ooh, look at me, I'm a killer.
735
00:55:07,037 --> 00:55:08,737
Who'd want to live with an
undercover narc anyways?
736
00:55:08,738 --> 00:55:11,040
Maybe the same one who'd
want to be with a tour guide?
737
00:55:11,241 --> 00:55:12,474
You... you know what?
738
00:55:12,742 --> 00:55:14,510
I bet you cruise city
parks pretending to be gay.
739
00:55:14,511 --> 00:55:16,745
And when guys cruised you
back, you arrested them?
740
00:55:16,746 --> 00:55:18,514
You know, the problem is, you are gay.
741
00:55:18,515 --> 00:55:20,015
I told you it was an internet sting.
742
00:55:20,250 --> 00:55:21,483
I never worked in any parks.
743
00:55:21,751 --> 00:55:23,485
Airport bathrooms?
744
00:55:23,753 --> 00:55:26,722
The DA wanted busts so
he could get reelected.
745
00:55:26,723 --> 00:55:28,490
The saps I brought in
weren't child molesters.
746
00:55:28,758 --> 00:55:30,726
They were framed.
747
00:55:31,027 --> 00:55:34,730
I ratted on the DA and lost my job.
748
00:55:34,731 --> 00:55:36,765
And man, I worked my
ass off to get this one,
749
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:40,502
so you're not gonna fuck it up for me.
750
00:55:40,737 --> 00:55:44,239
You are totally wound up in
this whole drug bust thing.
751
00:55:44,541 --> 00:55:47,009
God, what a fucking control freak.
752
00:55:47,010 --> 00:55:50,012
You know, I bet having sex with
you is like fucking a robot.
753
00:55:50,246 --> 00:55:51,246
(ROBOT VOICE) Do it faster.
754
00:55:51,481 --> 00:55:53,248
No, no not that fast.
755
00:55:53,249 --> 00:55:54,249
Squeeze this nipple.
756
00:55:54,250 --> 00:55:55,250
No, that one.
757
00:56:01,224 --> 00:56:02,257
Try it.
758
00:56:26,483 --> 00:56:28,016
[inaudible]
759
00:56:28,251 --> 00:56:29,752
[laughs]
760
00:56:53,243 --> 00:56:55,477
Oh.
761
00:56:55,478 --> 00:56:56,745
Oh, no.
762
00:57:05,522 --> 00:57:08,524
[gunshots]
763
00:57:08,525 --> 00:57:09,491
[glass breaking]
764
00:57:09,492 --> 00:57:12,494
Are you OK?
765
00:57:12,495 --> 00:57:13,729
You OK?
766
00:57:39,756 --> 00:57:42,057
Jungle red.
767
00:57:42,058 --> 00:57:43,525
I don't get it.
768
00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:45,260
The women.
769
00:57:45,261 --> 00:57:46,495
The what?
770
00:57:46,729 --> 00:57:48,530
The movie.
771
00:57:48,531 --> 00:57:51,233
You must be new to this gay thing.
772
00:57:51,234 --> 00:57:52,768
I told you I don't go to bars.
773
00:57:53,002 --> 00:57:56,004
Well, we do more than
just hang out in bars.
774
00:57:56,005 --> 00:58:00,042
I've been watching parades, too.
775
00:58:00,043 --> 00:58:01,510
[sigh]
776
00:58:20,497 --> 00:58:23,999
[birds chirping]
777
00:58:28,037 --> 00:58:30,239
So how'd you sleep, Marilyn?
778
00:58:30,240 --> 00:58:35,244
Not very good without Henry
laying next to me snoring.
779
00:58:35,245 --> 00:58:36,245
Come on.
780
00:58:36,246 --> 00:58:37,246
Go to breakfast.
781
00:58:40,483 --> 00:58:41,250
Who are you?
782
00:58:45,021 --> 00:58:47,489
Um, just doing some repairs.
783
00:58:47,490 --> 00:58:50,259
Is the van broken?
784
00:58:50,260 --> 00:58:51,260
I... I fixed it.
785
00:58:51,494 --> 00:58:52,561
I need my other bag.
786
00:58:52,562 --> 00:58:54,496
Yeah, I can't let you on the van.
787
00:58:54,497 --> 00:58:55,497
Why not?
788
00:58:55,765 --> 00:58:57,232
It's not ready yet.
789
00:58:57,233 --> 00:58:59,234
What's wrong with the van?
790
00:58:59,502 --> 00:59:00,235
Uh, nothing.
791
00:59:00,470 --> 00:59:02,771
No, I was just repairing a seat.
792
00:59:02,772 --> 00:59:03,772
What's going on?
793
00:59:03,773 --> 00:59:06,475
He won't let me on the van.
794
00:59:06,743 --> 00:59:08,010
Why won't you let her in the van?
795
00:59:08,011 --> 00:59:12,247
I will let her on the van, but not yet.
796
00:59:12,515 --> 00:59:14,016
The van's broken.
797
00:59:14,017 --> 00:59:15,484
What's wrong with the van?
798
00:59:15,752 --> 00:59:17,486
Nothing is wrong with the van.
799
00:59:17,487 --> 00:59:19,755
Then why can't I get my bag?
800
00:59:19,989 --> 00:59:22,491
Are you supposed to be Marilyn Monroe?
801
00:59:22,725 --> 00:59:24,226
Yes.
802
00:59:24,527 --> 00:59:26,261
You look just like her.
803
00:59:26,496 --> 00:59:28,030
Oh, really?
804
00:59:28,031 --> 00:59:28,997
Oh, brother.
805
00:59:29,232 --> 00:59:32,234
Hey, uh, you know, I
do impersonations, too.
806
00:59:32,502 --> 00:59:34,002
(BAD HUMPHREY BOGART VOICE)
Of all the gin joints
807
00:59:34,237 --> 00:59:35,771
in all the world, why did you have
808
00:59:35,772 --> 00:59:38,240
to pick this one, sweetheart?
809
00:59:38,508 --> 00:59:40,242
Who's that supposed to be?
810
00:59:40,243 --> 00:59:42,477
Humphrey Bogart.
811
00:59:42,745 --> 00:59:44,279
Could have fooled me.
812
00:59:44,480 --> 00:59:46,014
Can we get on the van now?
813
00:59:46,015 --> 00:59:46,782
No!
814
00:59:46,783 --> 00:59:49,251
It's a surprise.
815
00:59:49,252 --> 00:59:51,019
What's the surprise?
816
00:59:51,020 --> 00:59:53,255
Look, I was trying not to tell anyone,
817
00:59:53,256 --> 00:59:56,224
but there's a surprise
for everyone on the van.
818
00:59:56,225 --> 00:59:59,494
But you can't see it
until after breakfast.
819
00:59:59,762 --> 01:00:01,496
I feel like I'm in the third grade.
820
01:00:01,731 --> 01:00:04,032
We'll get Aaron to let us on the van.
821
01:00:04,267 --> 01:00:04,766
Where is he?
822
01:00:04,767 --> 01:00:05,500
Probably at breakfast.
823
01:00:05,735 --> 01:00:07,002
Come on, girls.
824
01:00:14,744 --> 01:00:17,012
Let's go.
825
01:00:17,013 --> 01:00:20,749
What are you doing?
826
01:00:21,017 --> 01:00:22,484
He's the last one, right?
827
01:00:25,221 --> 01:00:27,022
Well, I'll circle around the back.
828
01:00:27,023 --> 01:00:29,992
You go get him from the side.
829
01:00:29,993 --> 01:00:33,495
Then what, your boss comes
back and finds him dead?
830
01:00:33,496 --> 01:00:34,997
We don't kill him.
831
01:00:34,998 --> 01:00:37,733
We tie him up in my room, get
the women, get out of here.
832
01:00:37,734 --> 01:00:39,001
[laugh]
833
01:00:39,235 --> 01:00:42,004
Things really aren't that
simple in the real world.
834
01:01:21,244 --> 01:01:23,979
[sirens]
835
01:01:23,980 --> 01:01:25,247
Lower your weapons.
836
01:01:25,248 --> 01:01:26,481
Put them down.
837
01:01:26,783 --> 01:01:28,250
Put down your guns.
838
01:01:28,251 --> 01:01:29,751
Thank god you're here, Officer.
These two were about to kill me.
839
01:01:29,752 --> 01:01:30,752
No, he's a...
OFFICER: Shut up!
840
01:01:30,987 --> 01:01:31,987
--drug smuggler.
OFFICER: Shut up!
841
01:01:31,988 --> 01:01:33,255
Put your hands up on the van.
842
01:01:33,256 --> 01:01:34,489
But he's loaded this
van with pounds of...
843
01:01:34,490 --> 01:01:35,490
He said shut up.
844
01:01:35,725 --> 01:01:36,525
OFFICER: Shut up!
845
01:01:36,526 --> 01:01:37,726
Thank god you're here.
846
01:01:38,027 --> 01:01:41,496
Where you going?
847
01:01:41,731 --> 01:01:45,267
I just... I messed up my pants
when these two jumped me.
848
01:01:45,268 --> 01:01:48,236
And I just... I got to
go to the bathroom.
849
01:01:48,504 --> 01:01:49,237
All right.
850
01:01:49,472 --> 01:01:53,008
Put your hands up there, all right?
851
01:01:53,242 --> 01:01:55,510
Where'd you get that gun?
852
01:01:55,511 --> 01:01:56,745
Hm?
853
01:01:56,746 --> 01:01:59,748
That's standard Border Patrol issue.
854
01:01:59,749 --> 01:02:02,484
Looks like we got the pair that
offend that Border Patrol agent,
855
01:02:02,485 --> 01:02:03,251
don't it?
856
01:02:06,789 --> 01:02:09,024
If either of you guys
move so much as a muscle,
857
01:02:09,025 --> 01:02:10,225
I'm gonna deal with you personally.
858
01:02:10,493 --> 01:02:13,261
You got it?
859
01:02:13,262 --> 01:02:14,262
[door slams]
860
01:02:14,263 --> 01:02:17,499
I can't... I can't believe this guy.
861
01:02:17,500 --> 01:02:20,769
This is not happening to me.
862
01:02:21,003 --> 01:02:23,505
Why'd you try to tell
him about the coke?
863
01:02:23,506 --> 01:02:27,509
Because he's a fucking drug
dealer, and I'm a tour guide.
864
01:02:27,777 --> 01:02:30,011
I haven't even gotten a
fucking speeding ticket before.
865
01:02:30,313 --> 01:02:32,013
JESSE: Oh, that's
hard to believe.
866
01:02:32,014 --> 01:02:36,017
I thought cops didn't like gays.
867
01:02:36,018 --> 01:02:37,486
I'm not going to jail.
868
01:02:37,754 --> 01:02:38,720
- Looks like you are.
- Heh.
869
01:02:38,721 --> 01:02:39,488
Bullshit.
870
01:02:53,536 --> 01:02:56,004
JESSE: Where'd you
learn to do that?
871
01:02:56,005 --> 01:02:57,038
AARON: I saw it in a movie.
872
01:03:44,754 --> 01:03:47,255
(SARCASTICALLY) Is it in yet?
873
01:03:47,256 --> 01:03:50,725
Trust me, you'll know when it is.
874
01:04:12,281 --> 01:04:14,249
It's bad enough you let
that drug runner go.
875
01:04:14,250 --> 01:04:17,519
But if my boss saw you here,
you'd blow both our covers.
876
01:04:17,720 --> 01:04:21,489
And he's been working on
this sting for six months.
877
01:04:24,026 --> 01:04:25,493
[grunt]
878
01:04:46,282 --> 01:04:47,015
I didn't see anything.
879
01:04:47,250 --> 01:04:48,016
I'm just a Park Ranger.
880
01:04:48,251 --> 01:04:50,252
Just don't sound so pathetic.
881
01:04:53,022 --> 01:04:55,223
You're making a big mistake.
882
01:04:55,491 --> 01:04:56,524
Heh.
883
01:04:56,525 --> 01:04:59,261
I used to believe people
when they told me that.
884
01:05:02,031 --> 01:05:03,498
[whimper]
885
01:05:36,232 --> 01:05:39,734
[soft chatter]
886
01:05:43,239 --> 01:05:44,506
Where's Aaron?
887
01:05:44,507 --> 01:05:45,740
Um, who's that?
888
01:05:46,008 --> 01:05:47,475
The tour guide.
889
01:05:47,476 --> 01:05:49,744
Oh, he, uh, got really sick
last night and had to go home.
890
01:05:49,745 --> 01:05:51,246
WOMAN: What's wrong with him?
891
01:05:51,247 --> 01:05:53,048
He left last night.
892
01:05:53,049 --> 01:05:55,016
Well, then, who's giving us the tour?
893
01:05:55,017 --> 01:05:58,053
Are you the new tour guide?
894
01:05:58,054 --> 01:05:59,020
Uh, no.
895
01:05:59,255 --> 01:06:02,991
What's wrong with Aaron?
896
01:06:03,225 --> 01:06:04,759
Hepatitis... very contagious.
897
01:06:05,027 --> 01:06:05,760
[gasping]
898
01:06:06,062 --> 01:06:07,495
I'm calling your office right now
899
01:06:07,496 --> 01:06:09,497
to get to the bottom of this.
900
01:06:09,498 --> 01:06:11,499
Wait, uh, I'm gonna be the tour guide.
901
01:06:11,734 --> 01:06:12,267
What?
902
01:06:12,268 --> 01:06:15,070
You said you aren't.
903
01:06:15,071 --> 01:06:18,239
Well, I meant that I'm not new.
904
01:06:18,507 --> 01:06:23,011
I want to know what's happened to Aaron.
905
01:06:23,012 --> 01:06:24,012
(BAD SOUTHERN ACCENT) Well, frankly,
906
01:06:24,246 --> 01:06:27,082
Scarlett, I don't give a damn.
907
01:06:27,083 --> 01:06:28,216
Clark Gable!
908
01:06:28,551 --> 01:06:31,519
Oh, anyone could have guessed that.
909
01:06:31,754 --> 01:06:33,221
[door opening]
910
01:06:36,058 --> 01:06:38,727
Who's that?
911
01:06:39,028 --> 01:06:40,729
[door closing]
912
01:06:44,734 --> 01:06:46,768
I told you to watch the van.
913
01:06:46,769 --> 01:06:48,003
Where are the others?
914
01:06:48,004 --> 01:06:50,472
I don't know, the driver
came back with the tour guide.
915
01:06:50,473 --> 01:06:51,740
They pulled a gun on me.
916
01:06:52,008 --> 01:06:53,041
They're in it together.
917
01:06:53,042 --> 01:06:54,509
And then a park ranger showed up.
918
01:06:54,510 --> 01:06:55,010
Jesus!
919
01:06:55,277 --> 01:06:56,244
No, no, but it's OK.
920
01:06:56,245 --> 01:06:57,245
The ranger arrested them.
921
01:06:57,480 --> 01:07:01,016
Why didn't you shoot them?
922
01:07:01,017 --> 01:07:02,751
I... I don't have a gun.
923
01:07:05,755 --> 01:07:06,755
Good morning, ladies.
924
01:07:06,756 --> 01:07:08,523
Isn't it a beautiful day?
925
01:07:08,524 --> 01:07:10,992
I hope all of you had a good
night's sleep last night,
926
01:07:10,993 --> 01:07:13,495
'cause we have a big day ahead of us.
927
01:07:16,232 --> 01:07:19,501
And who are you supposed to be?
928
01:07:19,735 --> 01:07:21,236
Esther Williams.
929
01:07:21,470 --> 01:07:23,471
And who are you, June Cleaver?
930
01:07:23,739 --> 01:07:25,740
[laughs]
931
01:07:25,741 --> 01:07:28,309
Polly, Polly Brainard.
932
01:07:28,310 --> 01:07:32,247
I am going to be your tour guide
for the remainder of this tour.
933
01:07:32,248 --> 01:07:35,016
But I thought he was the new tour guide.
934
01:07:35,017 --> 01:07:36,518
Where's Aaron?
935
01:07:36,752 --> 01:07:40,255
It's a shame to have a drinking
problem at such a young age.
936
01:07:40,523 --> 01:07:42,257
Aaron has a drinking problem?
937
01:07:42,258 --> 01:07:44,059
I hope you don't mind,
but I couldn't help
938
01:07:44,060 --> 01:07:47,762
but notice this wonderful
bottle of NSN on the van.
939
01:07:47,763 --> 01:07:50,265
And I was wondering, who brought this?
940
01:07:50,499 --> 01:07:53,735
It... I want to congratulate you
on your health consciousness.
941
01:07:53,736 --> 01:07:55,503
Who's bottle is this?
942
01:07:55,738 --> 01:07:57,238
Oh, it doesn't matter anyway.
943
01:07:57,239 --> 01:07:59,507
It doesn't matter.
944
01:07:59,775 --> 01:08:02,544
For those of you who have not
discovered the wonders of NSN,
945
01:08:02,545 --> 01:08:04,779
this is a natural supplement that we
946
01:08:04,780 --> 01:08:06,748
can add just a little
bit to your orange juice
947
01:08:07,016 --> 01:08:10,518
in the mornings and have you
feeling wonderful the next day.
948
01:08:10,753 --> 01:08:14,522
Even though this has not
been approved by the FDA yet,
949
01:08:14,523 --> 01:08:16,257
you put a little in your
orange juice in the morning,
950
01:08:16,492 --> 01:08:19,994
it will take care of those
achy joints and achy muscles.
951
01:08:19,995 --> 01:08:21,529
Wouldn't you like to try some?
952
01:08:21,530 --> 01:08:23,498
As you're beginning to
use this new product,
953
01:08:23,499 --> 01:08:26,000
ah, it will cause some
people have that, you know,
954
01:08:26,268 --> 01:08:29,003
extra fullness, a little bit
gas that they have... you know,
955
01:08:29,271 --> 01:08:32,240
that occasional embarrassing
toot they have sometimes.
956
01:08:37,463 --> 01:08:39,514
Would any of the rest
of you like to try it?
957
01:08:56,065 --> 01:08:56,498
Where'd you get that?
958
01:08:56,499 --> 01:08:58,233
I got this off the van.
959
01:08:58,501 --> 01:08:59,734
Have you had your NSN today?
960
01:08:59,735 --> 01:09:00,768
Give me the bottle.
961
01:09:01,003 --> 01:09:02,737
Here, let me fix you a
glass of orange juice.
962
01:09:03,005 --> 01:09:05,773
(WOOZILY) Wahoo, I'm
starting to feel something.
963
01:09:06,008 --> 01:09:07,509
This stuff is good!
964
01:09:07,510 --> 01:09:10,245
Now, I don't think you should
be feeling it quite that fast.
965
01:09:10,513 --> 01:09:11,279
Give me that bottle.
966
01:09:11,464 --> 01:09:13,047
Give me the bottle, lady.
967
01:09:13,048 --> 01:09:15,016
I'm a star, not a lady.
968
01:09:15,017 --> 01:09:16,751
Give me the bottle!
969
01:09:17,019 --> 01:09:18,019
[gasping]
970
01:09:18,020 --> 01:09:18,987
Oh, no, now.
971
01:09:18,988 --> 01:09:19,988
Now, let me look at this.
972
01:09:20,289 --> 01:09:22,290
Uh, oh, shit, where's my glasses?
973
01:09:22,291 --> 01:09:23,291
I can't see this.
974
01:09:23,292 --> 01:09:25,727
[gasping]
975
01:09:25,995 --> 01:09:29,030
Give me the bottle.
976
01:09:29,031 --> 01:09:30,765
Oh, my god.
977
01:09:30,766 --> 01:09:34,002
Do you know you have a shiny head?
978
01:09:34,003 --> 01:09:36,004
[laughter]
979
01:09:36,005 --> 01:09:37,272
MANAGER: Give me the bottle!
980
01:09:37,439 --> 01:09:38,773
WOMAN: You have a shiny head!
981
01:09:38,774 --> 01:09:40,208
Do you know that my
ex-husband has a shiny head?
982
01:09:40,209 --> 01:09:42,210
He's a little short down there.
983
01:09:42,211 --> 01:09:43,211
[giggling]
984
01:09:43,212 --> 01:09:44,479
Woo, I feel good.
985
01:09:44,713 --> 01:09:45,980
Does everybody feel... I feel...
986
01:09:45,981 --> 01:09:46,748
[gunshot]
987
01:09:46,749 --> 01:09:47,448
Oh!
988
01:09:47,716 --> 01:09:49,250
[screaming]
989
01:09:49,251 --> 01:09:50,718
Oh, dios mío!
990
01:09:50,719 --> 01:09:52,987
This is statistically impossible.
991
01:09:53,222 --> 01:09:54,989
[phone ringing]
992
01:09:54,990 --> 01:09:56,457
What?
993
01:09:56,458 --> 01:10:00,195
Is the shipment on its way?
994
01:10:00,462 --> 01:10:02,730
The old biddies found the cocaine.
995
01:10:02,731 --> 01:10:06,000
Tell Big Mama to activate
the cruise ship plan.
996
01:10:06,001 --> 01:10:07,235
All right, nobody moves!
997
01:10:07,469 --> 01:10:08,703
[gunshots]
[screaming]
998
01:10:08,971 --> 01:10:10,972
What do I have to do to get
a letter of recommendation
999
01:10:10,973 --> 01:10:12,006
from you?
1000
01:10:12,208 --> 01:10:14,442
[gunshots]
1001
01:10:16,245 --> 01:10:17,712
He keeps coming back.
1002
01:10:17,964 --> 01:10:20,215
Just like herpes.
1003
01:10:20,216 --> 01:10:24,719
[ominous music playing]
1004
01:11:00,222 --> 01:11:03,725
[leaves crunching]
1005
01:11:08,197 --> 01:11:09,697
[thud]
1006
01:11:14,203 --> 01:11:18,206
You're getting kind of good at this.
1007
01:11:18,207 --> 01:11:20,475
Maybe you should come work for us.
1008
01:11:20,476 --> 01:11:23,011
And bust pot smokers?
1009
01:11:23,012 --> 01:11:26,214
I don't think so.
1010
01:11:26,215 --> 01:11:27,482
We have a lot of job security.
1011
01:11:27,483 --> 01:11:29,484
If you don't get killed.
1012
01:11:32,221 --> 01:11:34,722
I thought you said you
liked living on the edge.
1013
01:12:12,995 --> 01:12:15,463
[door squeaking]
1014
01:12:47,996 --> 01:12:50,698
[panting]
1015
01:13:18,193 --> 01:13:21,229
[cymbal crash]
1016
01:13:32,241 --> 01:13:34,976
Not here.
1017
01:13:35,210 --> 01:13:36,010
Ugh.
1018
01:13:36,211 --> 01:13:38,980
You smell good.
1019
01:13:39,214 --> 01:13:42,483
We can still get him.
1020
01:13:42,484 --> 01:13:45,686
He'll be halfway down the road before we
1021
01:13:45,687 --> 01:13:47,688
could even catch up to him.
1022
01:13:50,993 --> 01:13:51,726
Mm.
1023
01:13:58,200 --> 01:14:01,969
[panting] Oh!
1024
01:14:01,970 --> 01:14:03,004
[bang]
1025
01:14:32,968 --> 01:14:34,235
[inaudible].
1026
01:14:34,236 --> 01:14:35,970
I just want to.
1027
01:14:46,482 --> 01:14:47,715
JESSE: Use a... use a condom.
1028
01:14:47,716 --> 01:14:49,217
AARON: What do you think
I'm doing back here?
1029
01:14:49,218 --> 01:14:50,718
Just shut up and take it.
1030
01:15:03,732 --> 01:15:07,235
[moaning]
1031
01:15:20,215 --> 01:15:22,216
[inaudible] yours next.
1032
01:15:22,451 --> 01:15:23,217
Promise?
1033
01:15:36,732 --> 01:15:40,067
[moaning]
1034
01:15:43,205 --> 01:15:44,972
Fucking fag.
1035
01:15:45,207 --> 01:15:45,973
Are you gonna shoot?
1036
01:15:46,208 --> 01:15:48,476
Probably can't even shoot straight.
1037
01:15:48,477 --> 01:15:50,978
He's shooting!
1038
01:15:51,213 --> 01:15:53,014
[gunshots]
1039
01:15:53,215 --> 01:15:55,016
Ah!
1040
01:15:55,250 --> 01:15:55,983
[moan]
1041
01:15:56,218 --> 01:15:57,451
[gunshots]
1042
01:15:57,452 --> 01:16:01,989
Look, don't call me a fag.
1043
01:16:02,174 --> 01:16:04,458
Oh, man.
1044
01:16:04,459 --> 01:16:07,995
[panting]
1045
01:16:14,469 --> 01:16:17,972
Oh.
1046
01:16:23,745 --> 01:16:26,280
That's pretty... that's
pretty good shooting.
1047
01:16:28,984 --> 01:16:30,217
Yeah.
1048
01:16:30,218 --> 01:16:32,219
But I'm not gonna get that
letter of recommendation.
1049
01:16:36,725 --> 01:16:39,193
I'd write you one.
1050
01:16:39,461 --> 01:16:40,995
No, it's pointless.
1051
01:16:44,466 --> 01:16:46,200
We really are hiring.
1052
01:16:50,439 --> 01:16:52,974
I think you'd make a good narc.
1053
01:16:52,975 --> 01:16:57,445
[laughs] The War on Drugs?
1054
01:16:57,713 --> 01:16:58,980
No, that's stupid.
1055
01:17:03,986 --> 01:17:05,720
We know that.
1056
01:17:05,721 --> 01:17:09,457
We could stop it if we wanted.
1057
01:17:09,458 --> 01:17:17,198
We'd fund rehabs... the
fun's in the interventions.
1058
01:17:27,209 --> 01:17:29,977
[boat horn]
1059
01:17:29,978 --> 01:17:32,213
[salsa music playing]
1060
01:17:32,481 --> 01:17:35,483
AARON: You most remember this
room from that famous movie
1061
01:17:35,484 --> 01:17:36,984
"Sex Hero."
1062
01:17:36,985 --> 01:17:39,220
You all know the movie
where the federal agents
1063
01:17:39,221 --> 01:17:41,455
are undercover and bust the
international drug dealer?
1064
01:17:41,456 --> 01:17:45,493
As a special tribute, we have a
unique display of firearms used
1065
01:17:45,494 --> 01:17:46,961
in the original motion picture.
1066
01:17:47,229 --> 01:17:51,732
Who'd like to see that?
[laugh] How about you, sir?
1067
01:17:51,733 --> 01:17:53,000
Sure.
1068
01:17:53,001 --> 01:17:55,202
Uh, how about you in the back?
1069
01:17:55,504 --> 01:17:56,437
What the hell?
1070
01:17:56,705 --> 01:17:58,472
I don't remember the movie,
but let's take a look.
1071
01:17:58,707 --> 01:18:00,241
Well, step right this way.
1072
01:18:04,479 --> 01:18:05,713
Tour's over folks!
1073
01:18:06,014 --> 01:18:07,448
Who is that?
1074
01:18:07,449 --> 01:18:08,315
WOMAN: I don't know.
1075
01:18:14,523 --> 01:18:15,489
AARON: Federal agents.
1076
01:18:15,490 --> 01:18:17,024
MAN: What's going on?
1077
01:18:17,025 --> 01:18:19,193
AARON: Drop the bag and put
your hands on your head.
1078
01:18:19,461 --> 01:18:23,230
[salsa music playing]
1079
01:18:27,469 --> 01:18:30,004
He said he would meet us here.
1080
01:18:30,005 --> 01:18:31,205
GIRLFRIEND: Well, what
does he look like?
1081
01:18:31,206 --> 01:18:34,975
Well, he's a big guy,
uh, bald, much better
1082
01:18:34,976 --> 01:18:36,711
looking than Telly Savalas.
1083
01:18:36,712 --> 01:18:41,482
And if we see Aaron,
remember to act surprised.
1084
01:18:41,717 --> 01:18:43,484
You got it, Big Mama.
1085
01:18:43,485 --> 01:18:44,452
[laughs]
1086
01:18:44,720 --> 01:18:48,489
[salsa music playing]
1087
01:20:04,750 --> 01:20:10,421
"If you pirate this movie we'll send
two sexy federal agents after you.
1088
01:20:10,422 --> 01:20:17,162
And they know how to shoot."
72043
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