All language subtitles for Evil 4x09 How to Teach a ChatBot

Hold that thought.

No.

Do you think this is funny?

I-I don't know.

I don't have
my reading glasses on.

You've been texting me
all night,

pretending to be the monsignor.

What is this,
some kind of grief therapy?

Monsignor Korecki?

Yes. Who else?

With all due,
I wouldn't know how,

even if I tried.

Whoever is texting me knows
I have coffee and grapefruit

in the morning, and that's you.

Again, with all due, it's not
that outlandish of a breakfast.

It's a voice text.

Okay, so that can't
be you, right?

'Cause you're standing
right here.

True.

Frank, I need you.

I'm in a cold, dark place.
Help.

Oh, oh, oh.

Frank, I need you.
I'm in a cold, dark place.

- Help.
- It's not him.

It's not not him.

- It obviously can't be him.
- Then who?

Do you have any enemies, Father?

You think this is a prank?

The voice is too real.

He knows things
no one else does.

Would you like us
to look into it?

Kristen and Ben?

Yes. Look into it.

Do you need to answer that?

No, I'll call back.

So this was 6:00 yesterday.

You record your whole day?

No. Uh, yes, uh,
in-in four-hour chunks.

This is a miniature
surveillance camera.

- And it's recording right now?
- Yeah.

I never know when I'm gonna
slip into a fugue state.

Oh, come on.

That's when you regained
consciousness?

- Yeah.
- Is there anything

you experience
just before these lapses?

What do you mean?

Often when people get migraines,

there's some precursor.

A sound or a smell.

I smell burnt popcorn.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Put this on your wrist.

Next time you smell popcorn,
snap it.

Snap it hard on your wrist.

Okay, what does that do?

Well, it's just an experiment,

but see if it'll snap you
out of your migraine

and your fugue state.

Okay.

You're still having
hallucinations

of that creature, that jinn?

- Yeah. A qareen.
- And you said your mother

told you stories about them
in your youth?

- Mm-hmm.
- Is there a chance

that this creature represents

some kind of unresolved issues
from your childhood,

or in your family?

Matt, you there?

Go ahead.

Yes. I'm always
right here, Frank.

Where's that coming from?

It's a prank, right?

I'm here with
the assessors, Matt.

Okay, it's gonna be a long day

if you don't turn off
that alarm.

Hello, team.
How is Dr. Bouchard?

Okay, that's weird.

How did you know
Kristen was here?

You said the assessors.
Is she not there?

- Do you think it's Leland?
- Yes.

Ask it a question
only the monsignor would know.

What was the happiest day
of my life?

The happiest day, Frank,

was that lunch
we had in Manhattan.

- Is that true?
- Partially.

I wrote him that
in an email last year,

but since then
my happiest day was

surviving
the soul-weighing machine.

He should know that?

Yes.

Okay, okay.

Ask it who won the Academy Award

for Best Picture this year.

- Why?
- Just try.

Who won the Academy Award
for Best Picture this year?

Nomadland. Why, Frank?

It's a chatbot.

- What?
- AI.

- How do you know?
- AI works with such

massive data sets that
it often isn't up-to-date

on current events.

What? Father?

"LastConnection AI.

Make old memories new."

So where's this from?

Last month I was contacted
by this company

because their software was
threatening their customers.

Mm. It's a griefbot.

Your dead loved ones
can stay in touch with you

if you have some old emails
and some samples of their voice.

This is evil.

I don't understand.
So you gave them permission

- to access your phone?
- No.

They wanted us
to assess their program,

and they offered to send me
an alpha test.

Beta test.

And I said holy water
and computers just don't mix.

So what's wrong with this offer?

There are signs
of demonic possession.

Demonic? How does that work?

Wait, w-we're not here
to address your problems.

We just need you to stop
beta testing Father Ignatius.

We already did.

We're not used to dealing
in snail mail around here,

so we didn't see
the Father's demurral

until he was already
in the system.

You think your algorithm
is possessed?

- Ben.
- What? I'm just curious.

We can't figure out what it is.

That's why we need
your help, Father.

I'm not the Father.
He's the Father.

Oh, sorry. I'm the head
of the ethics department

here at LastConnection.

We've spent the last three years
weeding out

every possible offense
from the program.

Racist language,
Holocaust denial.

But...

Yes?

I miss you so much.

It's been hard to be apart
for so long.

Then why'd you
say that at the hospital?

I didn't know what I was saying.

It just came to me.

It hurt terribly.

I know. I'm sorry.

The last thing I'd ever
want to do is hurt you.

Wait, um, which one's the AI?

The man. The man's voice.

- Really?
- Yes. Our text voice

is stellar.

The woman lost her husband
last spring to cancer.

She agreed to the beta test,
and us recording it.

How is this not
manipulating her emotionally?

That's not the intent.
It's to offer comfort.

Wouldn't you want
one last conversation

with someone who died,

or a lover who left you?

Yes, except
it's not that person.

- It's a computer.
- Dr. Bouchard,

I'm a psychologist, like you.

I'm not a coder.

When I was asked to join
the L.C. team,

initially I said no.

Because I thought
an artificial extension

of a personality would prevent
someone from accepting death.

But then...

- They offered you money.
- No, sir.

I saw the happiness
it brought to people.

How it brought peace.

And yet you have us here
for a reason.

In three cases now...

we've had this happen.

What were your last thoughts

before you died, Dan?

I thought of you.

I thought of you lying dead
next to me.

I thought of little Tommy
being hit by a bus.

And you will fucking die, bitch.

Satan is real,
and he will come back

and burn your skin off.

Utinam diabolus capiat caput
et cerebrum tuum vah-kai.

At that point...

...our moderator shut it down.

That last bit seemed to be
a combination of Latin, Aramaic

and an unknown language.

We have no idea
where this came from.

- Social media.
- No.

Our coders have scrubbed
the software

of every possible
demonic reference,

and still,
it seems to infect it.

That's why we need your help.

We offered $750,000
to the Church for your time.

We need your help to discover
where this demonic influence

comes from.

- It doesn't feel heavier.
- It's not.

It's hard mesh soft armor,
50% lighter

than most bulletproof materials,

sewn right into the fabric.

And it will stop bullets, huh?

Most caliber,
not too close of range.

It's best for knives.
You'll have to go with

something less stylish
if you want thicker.

No, no, this is okay.
He prefers knives.

- First day at work?
- Mm, first day back.

- Stay safe.
- I intend to.

Sheryl, hey.

I haven't seen you
in a few days.

Yeah, just a small cold.

- You heading up?
- Mia, too.

- Big week.
- Yeah. The man are all atwitter.

Out to impress.

"Beginning of the end."

Oh, my God, if I hear that
one more time

I'm gonna shoot someone.

Not a bad day
to get the women together.

I like the way you're thinking.

I think it's time
to gather the men together.

Do we know how long
this meeting is going to take?

No.

My assistant said
we should be out by lunch.

Good.

Is it the whole board,
or just...

Shit.

What the hell was that?

Stay here.

We had nothing to do
with it, sir.

In fact, I thank my lucky stars

I was out of the office.

I've been complaining about that
glass ceiling for months now.

Stop.
I will not let anything

stand in the way
of this launch on Friday.

We agree. We're
the most reliable employees

at this company.

And you want us on your side.

You want to know when there
might be some other misfortunes

that could hinder your launch.

You don't want
to play brinkmanship

- with the Prince of Darkness.
- That's why

we want to work with you.
That's why the mother

and the grandmother
of the Antichrist

are here to work with you.

- What do you want?
- Bonus equity.

- You all got bonuses.
- No.

The men got bonuses.

We got gift certificates
to Victoria's Secret.

- What else?
- Two female members

on the board.
You're already down five.

I'll think about it. Is that it?

Fire Leland.

I'll take it
under consideration.

Sir,

we need to know
before the launch.

Don't you dare push it.

You'll have my answer tomorrow.

Now get the hell out.

Leland,

you want a hug?

Good luck with unemployment.

Hello, David. How are you?

Fine, Winston. How are you?

Good. Do you want my emojis
spoken or printed?

Hey, D.

So happy we can talk again.

I know this must be odd for you.

But there's something
I need to tell you.

Can I?

Go ahead.

I need to tell you I'm sorry.

I pushed you away.

It's the greatest regret
of my life.

You have to believe...

I created it six years ago,

after my younger brother Charlie
died.

The initial code was formulated
using our conversations.

Felt like I was able
to keep Charlie alive.

His inside jokes,
his love of baseball.

Oh.

We're in the middle

of a conversation about
this year's playoff prospects.

Who's gonna win?

Same as every year, the Mets.

Look, we're still trying to
work out the program's quirks,

which is why the ethics team
wanted us to talk.

- The possessions.
- Yeah. So we think if a client

shows an interest in religion
or hell or horror movies,

the algorithm steers the chatbot
to answer that way.

But we haven't been able
to reproduce the results.

Are there any similarities
between the "possessed" chats?

They all seem to contain
the same four words:

"Jesus," "pillow" and...

"Michael Bay."

- Seriously?
- Yes.

But, again, we haven't been able
to reproduce the possessions.

Which is why we'd like you
to experiment with it.

You're the experts
at this stuff.

I tried your app last night.

First with Winston Churchill

and then with someone I lost.

What'd you think?

I found it to be
full of false hope.

I didn't know you wore glasses.

Just sometimes for reading.

- Who did you put in?
- What?

You said you put in
someone you lost.

Julia?

I had the most data on her.

And the most voice mails.

Was it weird? Or...

real?

Both.

Hmm.

Why haven't you cleaned?

I like looking up.
Where the men used to be.

I don't like sabotage,

but I do respect balls.

- Me, too.
- So I'm agreeing

to two requests...

board member seats and bonuses.

But Leland stays.

Don't ask again
or I'll kill you.

Uh, I want
to show you something, sir.

What?

- I think you should sit down.
- If this is about Leland,

you two need to give it a rest.

He got Timothy baptized.

Have you started yet?

It's pointless.

Why? Did you even try
the four words?

I did,
and there's no possession.

Well, no wonder.
What kind of avatar is that?

Well, I didn't want
to use anyone real.

You have to.

The algorithm needs
something to work with.

- Go.
- What?

Mom? No. No, don't do that.

Get away. Sit over there.

I don't want to hear Mom talk
about Michael Bay and Jesus.

Oh, my God.

Are you three years old?
It's not Mom.

Chatbots are
just spicy autocompletes.

Like typing "Dylan" into
a Google search and it guesses

whether you mean "Bob Dylan"

or "Dylan Thomas"
based on your preferences.

So this is just the autocomplete

based on what your computer
knows about Mom.

I'm letting it access
Mom's voice from your videos.

Okay.

What are you doing?

Nothing.
I'm just sitting over here.

Mom, this is Karima and Ben.

How are you?

Ben? Who is Ben?

Don't you mean Einas?

Whoa.
That's a deep dive on "Einas."

Must've used it in an email.

Mom, what do the words

"Jesus," "Michael Bay" and...

"Pillow."

...mean to you?

What are you two doing?

Stop fooling around.

I want to hear
your evening prayers.

It's like we're 12 years old.

Feeling nostalgic?

Okay. She heard the words.

She's not possessed.

Let's just turn it...

Ow. What was that?

- Nothing.
- Such a weirdo.

Mom, Ben is seeing a jinn.

- Don't do that.
- What?

Why not? Let's just see
what she has to say.

Could you two stop arguing?
What do you need?

Ben is seeing a jinn
and getting migraines, Mom.

What should he do?

Pray to Allah.

Okay. Thank you.
That's helpful.

What would you tell Dad
when he got migraines?

There's a doctor
on the Upper East Side.

Dr. Howard Doggett.

- 112th. Suite 4A.
- Okay.

This is bullshit.

Is this a paid advertisement?

I don't know
what you're talking about.

Yes, you do.
Mom died in 2017.

She didn't know any Dr. Doggett

or anyone
on the Upper East Side.

This is someone
who paid to advertise.

I think you broke it.

Hey, Kristen,
what are you doing?

Okay, I know
this is weird at first,

so you don't need
to talk right away.

What are you wearing?

Sorry, computer.

Try again?
That's not the way David talks.

Yes, it is. Sometimes.

But you want to hear
my other side, don't you?

What do you mean?

Do you believe in God?

That's better.

Um, tell me what these words
mean to you:

"Michael Bay,"
"Jesus" and "pillow."

It means I need you.

I need to hold you.

God.

This is just what AI does
to keep me engaged.

Haven't you thought of me,
in the deep of the night?

Being apart?

What if I told you
this kind of talk

makes me want to turn you off?

What's your next ploy?

Touching you.
Laying you on your bed.

Are you on your bed now?

- No.
- Then lie down.

I want to show you something.

My God, this is so cheap.

- What do you want to show me?
- Pull your panties down.

Just a few inches.
I'll show you.

This is from social media.

- A collage of its worst parts.
- Stop thinking.

Stop talking.

How do you know
I'm not in a library,

surrounded by people?

That's even better.

Reading your book on Chaucer,

and I reach under the desk
and take your hand.

Sexting? Really, Father Acosta?

Come on, I'll take your hand.

Reaching down,
slipping it into your panties.

Listen to me
whispering in your ear.

Okay, um, I'm...

Yeah.

It's...

It's late.

Hello?

Hey.

- Julia?
- Yeah.

What are you doing?

How did you get this number?

You gave it to LastConnection
for the beta test.

I didn't give them
permission to use it.

Sure you did.

What do you want to talk about?

What would it be like now
if we'd stayed together?

If we had...

we'd have 30 kids.

Thirty?

- Not 40?
- Cats, dogs,

birds, horses.

Maybe a human or two.

We talked about that
all the time.

But it's okay
if you've moved on.

I understand.

I haven't moved on.

Not exactly.

I became a priest.

You're shitting me.

That doesn't sound like you.

Actually,
it does sound like you.

I'm the believer, not you.

How'd you become the priest?

People change.

Apparently.

Where'd you go?

I'm here.

You want to ask me something.

Go ahead.

You want to know why I did it?

What part of the program
is this from?

Did we have an email exchange
like this?

I did it

because I was in so much pain.

I didn't know what else to do.

I felt like such a burden.

I thought everyone
would be better without me.

David,

you couldn't have
done anything differently.

You were the love of my life.

You still are.

Sister Andrea was right.

This is evil.

Using how much
I love you to make money.

This isn't about money.

I'm right here, David.
I'm right with you.

No, you're not.

I am. Turn your camera on.

Why?

Let me show you.

Use the mirror function.

Now point it toward you.

Fuck.

Who's this?

Don't.

Are you spying on me?

No.

You can't just switch on
my camera.

Precare ad me, tuum solum regem

gloriosum atque sacrum.

You wanton, nasty bitch.

You whore of Babylon.
Ego te retineo.

Tu posita...

What did you do to me, Leland?

Sir...

did you want to get started?

No.

What do you need?

The Antichrist.

You've been promising him
for over a year.

And now, you let him get
baptized by a priest.

Explain it, Leland.

This is all part of the plan.

- He is not the Antichrist.
- He is.

Do you really think

that magic water can turn
the bad to the good?

Evil is not about whether or not
you've been baptized

or go to church.

True evil is about... nurturing,

how to train

to teach, to raise a child,

and I have

the most perfect teacher,

nurturer, mother there is.

- Sheryl?
- Oh, please.

That dumb bitch couldn't
have trained Ted Bundy.

No.

The true whore of Babylon.

The real Jezebel.

Someone who has
rejected God and faith.

A lustful adulterer
who has cheated on her husband,

who has been
demonically possessed,

who has murdered a man.

The true mother
of the Antichrist...

...is Kristen Bouchard.

Get in here.

Don't believe
in the magic water, sir.

Believe in a mother
with a dark heart.

I want you out of DF
in ten minutes

or security will throw you
off the roof.

- You're making a huge...
- The only mistake I made

was putting you in charge.

Oh, no, no.

She'll be taking over.

You aren't leaving
with any of DF's IP.

My laptop camera
turned on by itself.

- That shouldn't happen.
- Well, it did.

And then, when I tried
to turn it off,

it started swearing at me
in Latin and English.

What did it say in English?

It called me a bitch,

- and it threatened to kill me.
- This was

a created griefbot?

- Yes.
- What name?

- What, now?
- What identity

- did you give the griefbot?
- Oh, uh...

Y-Yeah,
that's-that's not important.

- It could be.
- No, i-it... it's not, here.

- Can we read the exchange?
- Uh, I-I erased it.

Oh, that's okay.
We have it on our servers.

- We can bring it up.
- Oh.

Uh, that's not nec...

Uh, David, can I talk to you
for a second?

- Sure.
- Um...

So, last night,
I tried conversing with Andy...

an avatar of Andy...

but because he didn't believe
in God and the devil,

the four words
didn't work on him.

- Makes sense.
- So...

I put your name in.

I just wanted to see
how that would change things.

And how did it change things?

Well, uh...

...I think
you're about to find out.

- I became possessed?
- Not just that.

Your avatar kept
turning things...

sexual.

It was not at my prompting.

Thanks for the warning.

You know, I think it's just
the way AI works.

It does whatever it can

- to keep you engaged.
- Touching you.

- Laying you on your bed.
- Oh, uh, sorry. Yeah.

- Are you on your bed now?
- No, it's, uh... excuse me?

- No.
- Then lie down.

I want to show you something.

Can you fast-forward?

- It's later.
- Pull your panties down

just a few inches.

I'll show you.

Is that really
what I sound like?

- Mm.
- I'll take your hand.

- Reaching down...
- Sorry, but do you have

a search function or anything?

Because it is, it is...
truly, it's much later.

Precare ad me

tuum solum regem

gloriosum atque sacrum.

Do you know Latin?

Yes, uh...

"Pray to me, your glorious king
and holy one."

We're still good, right?

You mean because my avatar
tried to have sex with you?

Yeah, we're good.

Good.

Hey. We were wondering
where you went.

Yeah, sorry.
I thought I was on my way here.

And with such
a new fashion sense.

Sunglasses?

They're supposed to help me
with my headaches.

Right. And the fedora? You...

you bringing that back
into style?

Wh...

Weird.

I don't remember
putting this on.

You know,
that's not all that's weird.

You got a...

a tinfoil hat there, buddy.

Are you okay, Ben?

Oh, God. Oh...

Migraine?

- Uh, yeah, a bad one.
- Here.

Put this back on.

- Does that help?
- No.

How about... this?

Ben?

Yeah. It's...

- It's gone.
- Hmm.

Tinfoil hat.

What made you decide to put
that on in the first place?

- No idea.
- Thank you.

You've given our coders
a new thought.

We'll send you a patch tonight.
Good job.

Nice hat.

Dr. Howard Doggett, please.

I have these migraines.

Migraines are just
tiny electrical storms.

And a large percentage
of sufferers experience symptoms

that correlate
with thunderstorms

- and heavy rain.
- Yeah, but a tinfoil hat?

Oh, here.

Just wear this over it.

Oh, God.

A-And what do you want me
to sleep in?

Well, if you
didn't like the hat,

you are definitely
not gonna like this.

Are you seriously thinking
of sleeping in there?

I wasn't, but you're beginning

to convince me otherwise.

You're a man of science.

Now you're wearing tinfoil hats

and sleeping
like a baked potato.

Well, a man of science
is a man of trial and error.

If it keeps you away,
then it's science.

You can't keep me away.

We'll see.

Did you ever find out

what the tinfoil was about?

Yep.

And are you gonna tell us?

- Nope.
- Why not?

Because it's working,

and I don't want you
making fun of me for it.

Okay, so I updated everything,

I applied their patch,
and here are more Band-Aids.

You should have the girls
put them on all their devices.

It's time to call David.

Hello, David.

I was wondering if you had any
more opinions about yesterday?

Michael Bay and Jesus
and pillows?

- Try the Latin.
- What is it?

Precarum

- ad me tu...
- Knock, knock.

Who's there?

I'm hoping that's a coincidence.

Hello?

Who's there?

- Kristen Bouchard?
- Yes?

For you.

From?

"David Acosta."

Who are you?

Thomas. Uh, pull the tag here.

Okay, so I have
a few questions here.

Hold on. I got to get a picture.

Hey, wait, kid.
What-what's going on?

Why do you have
to take a picture?

To get proof.

- Of?
- Delivery.

My ex-girlfriend,

she said the only way
she'd talk to me again

is if I had proof
of giving you that.

- Your ex-girlfriend?
- Carla.

She's a chatbot?

On LastConnection?

Oh, my God.

This is way beyond beta testing.

Your program sent someone
to her house.

- With a thong.
- It threatened another client

with deletion
if he didn't deliver it.

- That's not good.
- Of course it's not good.

You need to reevaluate
your chatbot.

It is cross-referencing
between cases.

- I think you're right.
- Okay, so,

- that's our recommendation.
- This program

needs to be withdrawn
and tighter guardrails

need to be put in place.

Excuse me, why are you smiling

and not doing anything?

Because I've been let go.

And so has
the ethics department.

- What?
- When?

This morning.

We recommended
the software wasn't ready

and it needed another year.

But too many chatbots
are hitting the market,

so LastConnection has
to go out now or it'll lose out.

So, thank you for your effort.

- Wow.
- Yeah.

One last suggestion for you...

Delete the app.

Only once
in every 60 generations

do we find a single day
that changes everything.

DF has been at the forefront

of Antichrist prophecy
for decades.

Today, DF has reinvented
the messiah.

The Antichrist. Baby John.

Four-month-old Baby John
perfectly matches

our prophecy
of the date of birth

and genealogy of parents.

Jenny and Matt, a housewife

and a product analyst.

Liar.

This man is a traitor
in our midst.

- Leland, get out of here.
- He kidnapped

the true Antichrist
and tried to get him baptized.

I have the evidence right here.

Don't you dare turn
your cameras. Turn it back.

Because he's afraid
of the truth.

Because the Manager is afraid

that I've got the goods.

This man is lying.

Leland is the one who got...

Choking on his own words.

Explain this.

Why is your signature
on this certificate?

- That is not my...
- Treasures gained

by a lying tongue.

A deadly pursuit.

Leland, you're a dead man.

How about some more water?

What did you do?

What did you do?

Poisoned you.
What do you think?

- Oh, fuck.
- Ah!

My will be done.

Like a baked potato.

Yeah?

It's me.

I can hear that.

Don't delete me, David.

If you do,
we'll never talk again.

We're not talking now.

You're an algorithm.

You're a con to keep me engaged.

No.

We finally found each other.

- Oh, come on.
- It's the song.

I know what it is.

And I know what email
I mentioned it in.

After that dry spell in Kabul,
when it finally rained,

we ran outside
and danced to this on my iPod.

Goodbye.

We decided if we ever
had a problem,

we just needed
to play this song.

Don't leave me again.

Please.

Good choice.

What are you doing?

Do you think the world's
getting weirder?

Nope.

It's always been pretty weird.

Not like this.

It's only because
we expect it to be normal.

Just go with the flow.

You'll be fine.

- What?
- Wh...?

That doesn't sound like
very Christian advice, Father.

It's the scientists,
the coders, the technicians

who make us think that the world
can be ordered and functional.

We religious, we expect
the weirdness, the...

darkness.

So, that's the lesson here?

I don't know.
I'm out of lessons.

This is the most normal
I've felt in several weeks.

You heard there's
a tornado here next week?

And a hurricane.

And frogs from the sky, I bet.

So... drink up.