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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,371 --> 00:00:07,272 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 2 00:00:24,391 --> 00:00:26,725 >> AND IT'S NOT SORE OR...? 3 00:00:26,793 --> 00:00:28,927 IT DOESN'T, LIKE, LEAK OR ANYTHING? 4 00:00:28,995 --> 00:00:30,262 >> NO. NO. 5 00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:32,197 >> OKAY. 6 00:00:41,574 --> 00:00:43,175 OKAY, AND IS THIS 50 7 00:00:43,243 --> 00:00:44,109 MILLILITERS? 8 00:00:44,310 --> 00:00:47,212 THAT'S 50 MILLI-- SO, THAT'S HOW MUCH WILL BE IN -- 9 00:00:59,025 --> 00:01:05,531 OKAY, UH... [ SIGHS ] 10 00:01:05,598 --> 00:01:06,698 OKAY. OKAY. 11 00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:08,667 >> [ CHUCKLES ] 12 00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:17,042 >> MY NAME'S PATRICK MOOTE. 13 00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:18,844 I LIVE IN LOS ANGELES, AND 14 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,979 APPARENTLY I HAVE A SMALL PENIS. 15 00:01:21,047 --> 00:01:22,681 I DIDN'T KNOW THAT IT WAS SMALL 16 00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,316 BECAUSE NO ONE HAD EVER TOLD ME 17 00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:25,851 THAT UNTIL I PROPOSED TO MY 18 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:29,388 GIRLFRIEND AND SHE SAID NO BECAUSE OF IT. 19 00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:30,789 >> YOU KNOW THOSE "KISS CAMS" 20 00:01:30,857 --> 00:01:32,224 THEY HAVE AT SPORTING EVENTS? 21 00:01:32,292 --> 00:01:34,059 >> YEAH, I'M SURE YOU'VE SEEN THEM. 22 00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:35,561 WELL, THEY HAD ONE AT UCLA, AND 23 00:01:35,628 --> 00:01:38,230 YOU PROBABLY WILL CRINGE WATCHING THIS, BUT TAKE A GOOD 24 00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:40,599 LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENED TWO DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS. 25 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:42,768 >> WHAT'S GOING ON? 26 00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:43,735 WAIT A MINUTE! 27 00:01:43,803 --> 00:01:47,139 THIS MIGHT BE A LITTLE MORE THAN A KISS. 28 00:01:54,447 --> 00:02:00,853 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 29 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:07,459 NO. THIS -- [ CROWD MURMURING ] 30 00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:08,393 >> WHOO-HOO-HOO! 31 00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:10,162 >> "YES" IS THE ANSWER! 32 00:02:10,230 --> 00:02:11,897 >> YES! 33 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:16,802 [ CROWD OHHs ] 34 00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:18,270 >> OH, MY GOD. 35 00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:20,072 >> SHE WENT RUNNING! 36 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:23,075 SOMETIMES WE GET A LITTLE CAMERA-SHY. 37 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,010 I UNDERSTAND. IT HAPPENS. 38 00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:26,145 >> OHH, PAINFUL. 39 00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:29,114 CLEARLY NOT THE RESPONSE THAT HE WAS EXPECTING. 40 00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:32,417 VIDEO OF A PROPOSAL GONE WRONG HIT YouTube ON MONDAY. 41 00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:38,991 >> ¶ HEY >> I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU SAID NO. 42 00:02:39,058 --> 00:02:40,559 LIKE, THAT'S COLD-BLOODED. 43 00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:42,127 >> I THINK SHE JUST WAS SO, 44 00:02:42,195 --> 00:02:43,862 LIKE, SHOCKED AND EMBARRASSED. 45 00:02:43,930 --> 00:02:46,265 >> THE GUY IS JUST LEFT THERE IN SHAME. 46 00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:47,833 >> WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! 47 00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:50,269 >> A REALLY EMBARRASSING MOMENT 48 00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:52,337 FOR A UCLA BASKETBALL FAN. 49 00:02:52,405 --> 00:02:55,841 >> [ SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE ] 50 00:02:55,909 --> 00:03:03,081 >> YOU MUST FEEL LIKE A REAL ASS, MAN. 51 00:03:03,149 --> 00:03:07,719 [ CROWD OHHs ] 52 00:03:07,787 --> 00:03:08,554 [ LAUGHTER ] 53 00:03:08,621 --> 00:03:09,321 >> AW! 54 00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:12,691 >> WHO DO YOU FEEL SORRY FOR HERE -- HER OR HIM? 55 00:03:12,792 --> 00:03:13,592 >> IT'S SO UGLY. 56 00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:15,027 >> I MEAN, I FEEL BAD FOR BOTH 57 00:03:15,094 --> 00:03:16,528 OF THEM 'CAUSE SHE PROBABLY WAS 58 00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:18,897 SHOCKED AND DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO IN THE MOMENT. 59 00:03:18,998 --> 00:03:20,365 >> I THINK IT GOES DEEPER THAN 60 00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:22,968 THAT, MUCH DEEPER THAN THAT. 61 00:03:26,105 --> 00:03:28,240 >> I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT SIZE MATTERS THAT MUCH. 62 00:03:28,308 --> 00:03:30,542 IN FACT, I DON'T THINK THAT SIZE MATTERS THAT MUCH. 63 00:03:30,610 --> 00:03:33,078 I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU COULD SAY 64 00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:36,882 NO TO A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL BECAUSE OF...THAT. 65 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,417 I THINK THAT THE MEN OF THE 66 00:03:38,484 --> 00:03:40,085 WORLD DESERVE AN ANSWER TO THIS 67 00:03:40,186 --> 00:03:41,820 QUESTION, AND SO I'M GONNA FIND 68 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:47,826 IT [BREATHES DEEPLY] WITH THIS COCK-UMENTARY. 69 00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:52,798 >> ¶ HEY >> HEY! 70 00:03:52,865 --> 00:03:54,900 >> OVER 50% OF THE WORLD'S MALE 71 00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:58,136 POPULATION FEELS INADEQUATELY HUNG. 72 00:03:58,204 --> 00:03:59,738 THAT MEANS THAT ALMOST TWO 73 00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:01,640 BILLION MEN WORLDWIDE THINK THAT 74 00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:03,175 THEIR PENIS IS TOO SMALL. 75 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,076 >> PUT IT IN. 76 00:04:04,143 --> 00:04:05,410 [ BREATHING HEAVILY ] 77 00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:08,914 >> IT IS IN. 78 00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:10,682 >> BUT WITH SO MANY SIZE 79 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:13,619 STATISTICS OUT THERE, WHERE DO I FIT IN? 80 00:04:13,686 --> 00:04:15,687 >> THE SCHOOL PUT THE SIZES OF 81 00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,556 ALL OUR PENISES UP ON A BIG 82 00:04:17,624 --> 00:04:19,491 CHART IN THE SCHOOL HALLWAY! 83 00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:21,426 >> OUR WHOLE LIVES, WE'VE BEEN 84 00:04:21,494 --> 00:04:24,863 FED THE IDEA THAT BIGGER IS BETTER. 85 00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,965 SO, I'VE ASKED A COUPLE BUDDIES 86 00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:29,167 TO HELP ME MAKE A FILM TO ANSWER 87 00:04:29,235 --> 00:04:31,270 THE QUESTION, "AM I TOO SMALL?" 88 00:04:31,337 --> 00:04:32,571 >> [ GASPS ] 89 00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,506 [ Chuckling ] I'M REALLY SORRY. 90 00:04:34,574 --> 00:04:36,441 >> I WAS IN THE POOL! 91 00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:41,613 I WAS IN THE POOL! 92 00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:42,914 I GOT TO GET OUT AND SEE WHAT 93 00:04:42,982 --> 00:04:44,683 REAL PEOPLE THINK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED. 94 00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:46,318 >> WHEN I SAW THAT AND YOU TO 95 00:04:46,386 --> 00:04:49,154 GET DENIED LIKE THAT -- ESPECIALLY IN PUBLIC -- IS 96 00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:50,455 ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS. 97 00:04:50,523 --> 00:04:51,823 >> YEAH, I KNOW. THAT'S HARD. 98 00:04:51,891 --> 00:04:53,258 >> THAT'S SO EMBARRASSING, MAN. 99 00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:54,626 >> SHE TOLD ME THAT ONE OF THE 100 00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:55,927 MAIN REASONS THAT SHE DIDN'T 101 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:57,262 THINK THAT WE WERE RIGHT FOR 102 00:04:57,330 --> 00:04:58,697 EACH WAS BECAUSE MY PENIS WAS A 103 00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:03,001 LITTLE TOO SMALL FOR HER. 104 00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:05,003 >> I THINK THAT SEX IS A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF A 105 00:05:05,071 --> 00:05:05,637 RELATIONSHIP. 106 00:05:05,705 --> 00:05:07,773 LIKE, IF YOU'RE WILLING TO COMMITMENT YOURSELF TO ONE 107 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:09,841 PERSON, LIKE, THEY BETTER BE ABLE TO MAKE YOU COME. 108 00:05:09,909 --> 00:05:10,709 [ LAUGHTER ] 109 00:05:10,777 --> 00:05:12,277 >> HOW IT FEELS -- IF IT'S 110 00:05:12,345 --> 00:05:14,046 TINY -- YOU KNOW, AT TIMES, IF 111 00:05:14,113 --> 00:05:16,415 IT'S TINY, YOU CAN'T FEEL IT TOO MUCH. 112 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:18,950 IF IT'S BIGGER, YOU LIKE FEEL IT, YOU KNOW? 113 00:05:19,018 --> 00:05:21,086 >> YOU GUYS COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR -- >> OH, YEAH. 114 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:21,620 >> OH, YEAH. 115 00:05:21,688 --> 00:05:22,154 >> VERY MUCH? 116 00:05:22,221 --> 00:05:23,188 HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SITUATION 117 00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:24,156 WHERE MAYBE YOU'RE TOO BIG? 118 00:05:24,223 --> 00:05:24,890 >> YES. 119 00:05:24,957 --> 00:05:27,059 >> REALLY? WHAT WAS THAT LIKE? 120 00:05:27,126 --> 00:05:28,960 >> IT SUCKED 'CAUSE SHE CRIED. 121 00:05:29,028 --> 00:05:29,961 >> SHE CRIED? 122 00:05:30,029 --> 00:05:31,663 >> YEAH. 123 00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:32,831 >> OH, HONEY, PLEASE. 124 00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:34,666 IT'S NOT THE OCEAN IN THE MOTION. 125 00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:36,168 IT'S ABOUT HOW YOU WORK IT. 126 00:05:36,235 --> 00:05:36,735 >> OKAY. 127 00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:38,070 >> AND LOOK AT YOUR LIPS. 128 00:05:38,137 --> 00:05:39,204 COME ON. OH, PLEASE! 129 00:05:39,272 --> 00:05:40,205 HELLO? PRETTY. 130 00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:41,006 >> I KNOW. 131 00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:42,574 >> WHO WOULD NOT DO THIS? 132 00:05:42,642 --> 00:05:44,543 IF I WEREN'T MARRIED, I WOULD DO HIM. 133 00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:46,011 >> COULD YOU LOVE SOMEONE WHO 134 00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:48,847 HAD, LIKE, NO PENIS AT ALL? 135 00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:50,349 >> YOU MEAN LIKE A VAGINA? 136 00:05:50,416 --> 00:05:51,316 >> WELL -- [ CHUCKLES ] 137 00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:53,218 >> THERE'S SOME PILLS, I THINK... >> REALLY? 138 00:05:53,319 --> 00:05:54,286 >> ...THAT HELPS IT GROW. 139 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,921 IT'S CALLED, LIKE -- [ LAUGHS ] 140 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,322 WHAT'S THEM PILLS CALLED? 141 00:05:57,390 --> 00:05:58,290 >> [ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ] 142 00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:58,657 >> YEAH. 143 00:05:58,725 --> 00:05:59,358 >> WHAT'S IT CALLED? 144 00:05:59,425 --> 00:05:59,758 EXTENZE. 145 00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:00,625 >> OKAY. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 146 00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:01,560 I THINK I'VE HEARD OF THAT. 147 00:06:01,627 --> 00:06:03,161 >> YEAH. IT COULD HELP YOU. 148 00:06:03,229 --> 00:06:05,397 YOU SHOULD TRY IT. 149 00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:06,932 >> I'M HEADING HOME TO SEATTLE 150 00:06:06,999 --> 00:06:09,568 TO SEE WHAT MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY THINK. 151 00:06:09,635 --> 00:06:10,869 YOU KNOW, I JUST GO TALK TO SOME 152 00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:14,473 OF THEM AND TELL THEM WHAT HAPPENED AND, YOU KNOW, JUST 153 00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:17,342 PROVE TO EVERYONE THAT THIS ISN'T A PROBLEM. 154 00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:22,047 I GREW UP ON WHIDBEY ISLAND, POPULATION 58,000. 155 00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:23,982 I WAS RAISED ON A SMALL FARM 156 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:27,486 ALONG WITH MY BROTHER, BRIAN, AND MY LOVING PARENTS. 157 00:06:27,587 --> 00:06:29,488 THEN MY BROTHER AND I RAN OFF TO 158 00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:31,256 L.A. TO BECOME COMEDIANS, BUT 159 00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:32,958 I'M MORE THE SERIOUS ACTOR. 160 00:06:33,025 --> 00:06:33,925 >> DARREN! 161 00:06:33,993 --> 00:06:39,030 >> SORRY, BRO. 162 00:06:39,098 --> 00:06:40,365 >> THIS IS MY HOME. 163 00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:42,367 LET'S SEE IF MOM'S HERE. 164 00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:43,835 [ DOG BARKING ] 165 00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:45,537 HELLO? HEY, QUIET. 166 00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:46,438 QUIET, YOU GUYS. 167 00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:46,972 PATTY. 168 00:06:47,039 --> 00:06:47,706 >> HI, MOM. 169 00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:48,673 >> HOW ARE YOU? 170 00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:49,908 >> GOOD. HOW ARE YOU? 171 00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:50,709 >> I'M GOOD. 172 00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:51,443 >> GOOD TO SEE YOU. 173 00:06:51,511 --> 00:06:52,344 >> GOOD TO SEE YOU, TOO. 174 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,478 >> I THINK THAT'S MY SWEATSHIRT. 175 00:06:53,546 --> 00:06:54,379 >> IT IS. YOU SHRUNK IT. 176 00:06:54,447 --> 00:06:54,946 NOW IT'S MINE. 177 00:06:55,014 --> 00:06:55,947 NOW IT'S HERS. 178 00:06:56,015 --> 00:06:57,182 THIS IS EVERYBODY. 179 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,917 >> HI, EVERYBODY. 180 00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:03,688 OKAY, YOU CAN GRAB HAY AND THROW IT IN THE BACK. 181 00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:06,057 THAT'S LEXIE. 182 00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:08,026 >> LEXIE. OH, EASY NOW! 183 00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,595 WHOA, LOOK AT HOW BIG ITS MOUTH OPENED. 184 00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:12,330 AH! 185 00:07:12,398 --> 00:07:15,000 >> SO, THIS PROPOSAL -- >> MM-HMM. 186 00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:16,334 >> IT WAS FILMED? 187 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:19,104 >> UH-OH. 188 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:23,175 >> AND IT DID END UP ON THE INTERNET. 189 00:07:23,242 --> 00:07:24,342 >> OH. 190 00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:26,178 >> SHE WASN'T SUPER THRILLED ABOUT IT. 191 00:07:26,245 --> 00:07:27,746 >> WELL, I WOULD ASK WHAT SHE 192 00:07:27,814 --> 00:07:29,981 SAID, BUT I PROBABLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW. 193 00:07:30,049 --> 00:07:33,351 >> SHE SAID THAT -- OH, GOD, 194 00:07:33,419 --> 00:07:38,824 THIS IS SO WEIRD -- UM, THAT MY PENIS IS TOO SMALL. 195 00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:39,825 >> AH! 196 00:07:39,892 --> 00:07:41,092 SHE SAID THAT TO YOU? 197 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:41,626 >> YEAH. 198 00:07:41,694 --> 00:07:43,962 >> OHH. OUCH. 199 00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:46,231 SHE'S OBVIOUSLY NOT WHO YOU THOUGHT SHE WAS. 200 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:46,798 >> RIGHT. 201 00:07:46,899 --> 00:07:48,266 >> NOT WHO I THOUGHT SHE WAS. 202 00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:50,402 >> YOU KNOW, I REALLY CARED ABOUT HER. 203 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,437 >> MM. 204 00:07:52,538 --> 00:07:54,039 OH, SWEETIE, THERE'S PLENTY OF 205 00:07:54,106 --> 00:07:56,875 PEOPLE OUT -- THERE'S SOMEONE OUT THERE... >> YEAH. 206 00:07:56,943 --> 00:07:59,478 >> ...THAT ISN'T GOING TO RUN YOU DOWN LIKE THIS. 207 00:07:59,545 --> 00:08:04,549 THAT'S JUST -- THAT'S -- [ SIGHS ] I'M SORRY, SWEETIE. 208 00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:05,750 >> WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? 209 00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:07,419 >> I DON'T KNOW, LIKE YEARBOOKS OR... 210 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,553 >> OH, THEY'RE IN THIS BOX. 211 00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:09,120 >> ARE THEY? 212 00:08:09,188 --> 00:08:09,588 >> YEAH. 213 00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:10,889 >> AH! NICE. 214 00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:13,525 >> RIGHT NEXT TO THE JOSE CANSECO DREAM TEAM CARD. 215 00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:15,727 >> THE JOSE CANSECO DREAM -- LOOK AT THAT. 216 00:08:15,795 --> 00:08:16,862 THAT'S A HOT CANSECO. 217 00:08:16,929 --> 00:08:17,796 >> YEAH, IT IS. 218 00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:19,764 >> HERE ARE THE YEARBOOKS. 219 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:21,633 >> SO FULL OF OPTIMISM. 220 00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:24,169 >> HADN'T DISCOVERED YET THAT MY PENIS WAS SMALL. 221 00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:25,170 >> AND CONFIDENCE. 222 00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:26,171 LOOK AT THAT FACE. 223 00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:27,172 >> WOW. 224 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,440 >> PROM 2002. 225 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,542 >> THESE ARE ALL NOTES FROM MY EX-GIRLFRIEND. 226 00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:31,943 >> I WONDER IF ANY OF THEM SAYS 227 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:33,378 ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR WIENER SIZE. 228 00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:34,279 >> LET'S READ ONE. 229 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,114 "I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I AM 230 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,749 SO SORRY FOR THE WAY THAT I 231 00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:39,551 OVERREACTED, AND I'M SORRY FOR 232 00:08:39,619 --> 00:08:42,621 HURTING YOU WHEN I WALKED DOWN THE ROAD WITH DEREK. 233 00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:44,356 I WAS BEING A BAD GIRLFRIEND. 234 00:08:44,423 --> 00:08:46,057 I'M SORRY A THOUSAND TIMES." 235 00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:47,058 >> I THINK YOU NEED TO REALIZE 236 00:08:47,126 --> 00:08:47,993 THAT IT WAS JUST THIS CHICK. 237 00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:48,727 >> RIGHT. 238 00:08:48,828 --> 00:08:50,629 >> AND SHE JUST KNEW THAT IT 239 00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:52,564 WOULD HURT YOU, AND SHE WANTED 240 00:08:52,632 --> 00:08:54,566 TO -- GIRLS DO THAT, MAN. 241 00:08:54,634 --> 00:08:55,767 THEY'RE MEAN. 242 00:08:55,835 --> 00:08:56,301 >> I -- YEAH. 243 00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:57,836 >> AND DON'T JUST GET WRAPPED UP IN IT... 244 00:08:57,904 --> 00:08:58,803 >> I GET WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. 245 00:08:58,871 --> 00:08:59,838 >> ...'CAUSE YOU CAN LET THIS 246 00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:00,872 KIND OF STUFF MAKE YOU CRAZY. 247 00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:02,173 >> LIKE, SURE, MAYBE I'M 248 00:09:02,241 --> 00:09:04,776 REALIZING THAT IT HIT A SOFT SPOT BECAUSE, YES -- 249 00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:07,612 >> BECAUSE YOUR LITTLE, FLACCID PENIS WAS A SOFT SPOT? 250 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:09,014 >> YOU'RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE. 251 00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:13,385 >> I'M JOKING. SORRY. RIGHT. 252 00:09:13,452 --> 00:09:15,887 >> SQUARED IT UP OVER YOUR RIGHT 253 00:09:15,955 --> 00:09:19,457 FOOT, STRAIGHT UP, FOLLOW THROUGH. 254 00:09:19,659 --> 00:09:22,327 OH, MY GOD, THAT LOOKED LIKE CHARLES BARKLEY. 255 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:23,194 >> [ CHUCKLES ] 256 00:09:23,262 --> 00:09:24,729 THERE WERE SEVERAL REASONS WHY 257 00:09:24,797 --> 00:09:26,197 SHE THOUGHT WE SHOULDN'T GET 258 00:09:26,265 --> 00:09:27,766 MARRIED, BUT ONE OF THEM WAS -- 259 00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:29,634 SHE SAID THAT MY, UH -- SHE SAID 260 00:09:29,702 --> 00:09:32,370 THAT MY PENIS IS TOO SMALL FOR HER. 261 00:09:32,538 --> 00:09:33,872 >> [ Chuckling ] SHE SAID THAT? 262 00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:34,372 >> YEAH. 263 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,042 >> [ CHUCKLES ] UH... 264 00:09:37,109 --> 00:09:39,544 DOES THAT HAVE ANY BEARING ON HEREDITY? 265 00:09:39,612 --> 00:09:40,979 >> I DON'T KNOW. DOES IT? 266 00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:41,846 >> [ LAUGHS ] 267 00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:44,215 >> WELL, I GOT TO TELL YOU I'M A SMALL HANGER. 268 00:09:44,283 --> 00:09:44,816 >> RIGHT. 269 00:09:44,884 --> 00:09:46,351 >> I PROBABLY WAS A LITTLE BIT 270 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:47,752 AMISS IN NOT TALKING IN MORE 271 00:09:47,820 --> 00:09:49,321 DETAIL WITH YOU ABOUT ALL THESE 272 00:09:49,388 --> 00:09:50,922 THINGS WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP. 273 00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:53,425 IT WAS A RATHER EMBARRASSING TOPIC TO TALK ABOUT. 274 00:09:53,492 --> 00:09:54,292 >> IT STILL IS. 275 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,928 THERE'S A LOT OF SIMILARITIES GOING ON HERE, I KNOW. 276 00:09:57,029 --> 00:09:57,562 >> I SEE. 277 00:09:57,630 --> 00:09:59,931 BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT -- WHEN 278 00:09:59,999 --> 00:10:02,467 THE TIME COMES, I'M JUST SHOCKED 279 00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:08,740 AT HOW ADEQUATE I DO BECOME. 280 00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:10,275 >> WE'RE AT MY BUDDY AUBREY'S 281 00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:12,577 HOUSE, HAVING A LITTLE BARBECUE. 282 00:10:12,645 --> 00:10:15,280 GOT SOME FRIENDS FROM OLD SCHOOL HANGING OUT. 283 00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:18,383 SO, I SET UP A CAMERA WHERE PEOPLE CAN TALK ABOUT ME, 284 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,085 CANDIDLY, YOU KNOW, WHAT THEY 285 00:10:20,152 --> 00:10:21,686 REMEMBER ABOUT ME FROM HIGH 286 00:10:21,754 --> 00:10:24,689 SCHOOL, ANY STORIES THAT THEY HAVE, ANYTHING FUNNY. 287 00:10:24,757 --> 00:10:26,224 I WANTED TO SET THIS UP, THOUGH, 288 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,526 SO THAT PEOPLE FELT A LITTLE MORE COMFORTABLE. 289 00:10:28,594 --> 00:10:30,061 I DON'T KNOW IF PEOPLE ARE GONNA 290 00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:37,936 BE AS HONEST TO MY FACE. 291 00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:41,673 >> PATRICK AND I HAD A -- HIS 292 00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:45,443 FIRST EXPERIENCE IN THE BEDROOM. 293 00:10:45,511 --> 00:10:46,511 I DON'T REMEMBER MUCH. 294 00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:47,879 I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST MAKING 295 00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:49,881 OUT, BUT APPARENTLY I TOOK HIS VIRGINITY. 296 00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:50,582 >> [ LAUGHS ] 297 00:10:50,683 --> 00:10:51,916 >> SO... 298 00:10:57,256 --> 00:10:58,623 >> OUR BUDDY ASKED ONE OF PAT'S 299 00:10:58,691 --> 00:11:00,759 EX-GIRLFRIEND'S, YOU KNOW, "HOW BIG IS PAT?" 300 00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:01,326 YOU KNOW? 301 00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:02,594 "IS PAT SMALL IN THE PANTS? 302 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:03,995 HOW BIG IS IT? HOW BIG IS IT?" 303 00:11:04,063 --> 00:11:06,164 YOU KNOW, PUTTING-UP-HIS-HANDS KIND OF THING. 304 00:11:06,232 --> 00:11:08,233 AND SHE RAISED UP ONE HAND AND 305 00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:11,069 THEN CLOSED IT DOWN AND WENT LIKE THIS. 306 00:11:11,137 --> 00:11:13,204 AND WE ALL DIED. 307 00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:19,978 >> HE DEFINITELY CAN TALK A GOOD GAME. 308 00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:21,579 >> I THINK HE USES HIS COMEDY TO 309 00:11:21,647 --> 00:11:25,250 COVER UP HIS INSECURITIES. 310 00:11:25,317 --> 00:11:27,452 >> AND SO JASON SHIRE CAME UP 311 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,788 WITH THE TERM OF "PICKLE DICK." 312 00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:31,423 "PATTY PICKLE DICK." 313 00:11:31,490 --> 00:11:32,490 "PATTY WHACK PICKLE DICK." 314 00:11:32,558 --> 00:11:34,626 AND IT JUST KIND OF STUCK WITH 315 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:38,329 HIM, AND IT GOT UNDER HIS SKIN REALLY, REALLY BAD. 316 00:11:38,397 --> 00:11:39,330 >> "WHAT'S UP, PICKLE?" 317 00:11:39,398 --> 00:11:41,466 AND HE'D LIKE GIVE ME THIS LIKE GLARE OR WHATEVER. 318 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,401 AND I WAS KIND OF LIKE, "FUCK YOU," YOU KNOW? 319 00:11:43,469 --> 00:11:44,569 LIKE, "IT'S YOUR NICKNAME." 320 00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:45,437 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 321 00:11:45,504 --> 00:11:47,038 EVER SINCE THIS, LIKE, IT'S 322 00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:48,740 NEVER -- YOU KNOW, IT'S NEVER 323 00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:50,341 LEFT ME, THE FACT THAT, YOU 324 00:11:50,409 --> 00:11:52,510 KNOW, I'VE HEARD ABOUT... >> WHAT? 325 00:11:52,578 --> 00:11:54,312 >> YOU MIGHT BE A LITTLE SMALL. 326 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,380 >> SHUT THE FUCK UP. 327 00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:56,848 >> WHATEVER. I'M JUST SAYING. 328 00:11:56,916 --> 00:12:01,653 I WASN'T SURPRISED TO HEAR THAT. 329 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:07,492 >> UH... OKAY. 330 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,893 >> AT 10, 11, YOU WERE WHAT WE 331 00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:11,963 WOULD SAY IS A LITTLE BIT ABOVE AVERAGE HEIGHT. 332 00:12:12,164 --> 00:12:13,898 BY THE TIME YOU WERE 13 AND 14, 333 00:12:13,966 --> 00:12:17,502 YOU WERE AVERAGE HEIGHT, AND THERE'S A REASON FOR THAT. 334 00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:20,004 YOU WOULD BE A GUY WHO WAS MAYBE 335 00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:22,073 A LITTLE BIT MORE LATE THAN 336 00:12:22,141 --> 00:12:25,210 AVERAGE TO START GOING THROUGH PUBERTY. 337 00:12:25,277 --> 00:12:28,513 >> MY SITUATION OCCURRED, AND I 338 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,515 BECAME VERY INSECURE ABOUT MY 339 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:34,185 BODY AND BECAME VERY KIND OF INTERESTED IN WHERE THESE 340 00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:36,254 INSECURITIES COME FROM IN MEN. 341 00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:37,822 >> WHEN I WAS A KID AND YOU HAD 342 00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:39,190 A P.E. CLASS, 40, 50 GUYS, 343 00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:40,759 THEY'D GO INTO THE LOCKER ROOM, 344 00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:42,360 EVERYBODY GETS NAKED, YOU PUT ON 345 00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:43,895 YOUR JOCKSTRAP AND YOUR SHORTS 346 00:12:43,963 --> 00:12:46,531 AND YOUR T-SHIRT, AND YOU GO OUT AND DO P.E. CLASS. 347 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:47,932 THEN WHEN YOU'RE DONE, YOU COME 348 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,267 BACK, YOU TAKE ALL THAT STUFF 349 00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:50,735 OFF, YOU TAKE A SHOWER, PUT YOUR 350 00:12:50,803 --> 00:12:52,370 CLOTHES ON, YOU GO BACK TO CLASS. 351 00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:54,405 NOW -- UNH-UNH. 352 00:12:54,473 --> 00:12:58,009 A LOT OF KIDS DO NOT SEE A LOT OF OTHER NAKED PEOPLE. 353 00:12:58,077 --> 00:12:59,210 >> I NEVER DID. 354 00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:01,880 I WOULD NEVER GET NAKED IN GYM CLASS. 355 00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:02,347 >> YEAH. 356 00:13:02,414 --> 00:13:03,581 THE GUYS IN FOOTBALL AND THAT 357 00:13:03,649 --> 00:13:04,816 KIND OF STUFF -- THEY'D EITHER 358 00:13:04,884 --> 00:13:07,051 SHOWER IN THEIR SHORTS, OR THEY'D GO HOME AND SHOWER. 359 00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:08,720 >> I WOULD GO HOME AND SHOWER. 360 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,855 >> AND GUYS MY AGE JUST GO, "WHAT?" 361 00:13:10,923 --> 00:13:12,624 >> WHAT EFFECT DO YOU THINK THAT 362 00:13:12,691 --> 00:13:14,359 NOT HAVING THAT EXPERIENCE AS A 363 00:13:14,426 --> 00:13:16,427 YOUNG PERSON NOWADAYS HAS ON THEM? 364 00:13:16,495 --> 00:13:19,831 >> I THINK PEOPLE WORRY MORE, ACTUALLY, I WOULD GUESS. 365 00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:21,499 AND CERTAINLY IF YOU HAD HALF A 366 00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:23,201 DOZEN WOMEN SAY SOMETHING TO YOU 367 00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:24,836 AND THIS IS IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO 368 00:13:24,904 --> 00:13:26,404 YOU, YOU'RE PROBABLY GONNA GO 369 00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:30,074 AFTER THE PENIS ENLARGERS. 370 00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:31,776 SO, I THINK THE EASIEST WAY TO 371 00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:33,378 GO ABOUT THIS TO KEEP THINGS 372 00:13:33,445 --> 00:13:35,180 STRAIGHT -- BECAUSE I'M A LITTLE 373 00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:36,915 DISORGANIZED AT TIMES -- IS TO 374 00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:39,250 PUT EVERYTHING UP ON MY BULLETIN BOARD. 375 00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:41,386 EX-LADIES -- GIRLS THAT I'VE 376 00:13:41,453 --> 00:13:43,621 DATED, PEOPLE THAT WOULD KNOW. 377 00:13:43,689 --> 00:13:45,356 [ SIGHS ] 378 00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:50,261 ALL RIGHT, THIS IS IT. 379 00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:57,302 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 380 00:13:57,369 --> 00:14:01,239 HEY. UM...DO YOU -- DO YOU HAVE A SECOND? 381 00:14:01,307 --> 00:14:02,640 >> RIGHT NOW? 382 00:14:02,708 --> 00:14:04,542 >> YEAH, RIGHT NOW. 383 00:14:04,610 --> 00:14:06,544 >> ALL RIGHT. 384 00:14:06,612 --> 00:14:07,612 DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH? 385 00:14:07,713 --> 00:14:09,814 I MEAN, YEAH, I WOULD LIKE THE TRUTH. 386 00:14:09,882 --> 00:14:11,382 >> YEAH, IT COULD BE BIGGER. 387 00:14:11,450 --> 00:14:12,217 I MEAN, YEAH. 388 00:14:12,284 --> 00:14:13,818 >> I COULD BE BIGGER? 389 00:14:17,389 --> 00:14:19,257 THREE...? 390 00:14:21,393 --> 00:14:23,595 LIKE A THREE? COME ON. 391 00:14:23,662 --> 00:14:27,332 ALL RIGHT, WELL, SHE'S OBVIOUSLY 392 00:14:27,399 --> 00:14:30,268 PISSED AT ME OR SOMETHING 'CAUSE 393 00:14:30,336 --> 00:14:32,003 SCALE OF ONE TO 10 -- A THREE? 394 00:14:32,071 --> 00:14:33,571 THAT'S RIDICULOUS. 395 00:14:33,639 --> 00:14:36,875 >> DO YOU REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT MY MAYBE, LIKE, SIZE, 396 00:14:36,942 --> 00:14:39,677 IN PARTICULAR, LIKE...? 397 00:14:39,745 --> 00:14:41,012 >> WHAT?! 398 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,747 >> IF I WANT A REAL ANSWER, I 399 00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:44,449 NEED A PROFESSIONAL OPINION. 400 00:14:44,516 --> 00:14:46,017 NO MORE ANGRY GIRLFRIENDS. 401 00:14:46,085 --> 00:14:48,953 THIS IS THE OFFICE OF DR. JENNIFER BERMAN. 402 00:14:49,021 --> 00:14:51,856 SHE'S ACTUALLY A REALLY FAMOUS UROLOGIST. 403 00:14:51,924 --> 00:14:53,892 IF EVER THERE WAS A PERSON WHO 404 00:14:53,959 --> 00:14:55,860 COULD TELL ME KIND OF WHERE I 405 00:14:55,928 --> 00:14:59,964 FIT, IN TERMS OF SIZE, SHE'S THE ONE. 406 00:15:00,165 --> 00:15:02,734 >> THE AVERAGE PENILE SIZE IS 407 00:15:02,801 --> 00:15:07,538 ANYWHERE BETWEEN 4" AND 6", ON STRETCH. 408 00:15:07,606 --> 00:15:08,473 >> MM-HMM. 409 00:15:08,674 --> 00:15:09,908 >> THAT'S NORMAL. 410 00:15:09,975 --> 00:15:11,843 THE OTHER THING THAT MEN ARE 411 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,445 CONCERNED ABOUT IS GIRTH, IS WIDTH. 412 00:15:14,513 --> 00:15:17,749 WAS THAT SOMETHING THAT SHE TALKED ABOUT OR...? 413 00:15:17,816 --> 00:15:20,251 >> WE REALLY DIDN'T GET INTO THE SPECIFICS. 414 00:15:20,319 --> 00:15:21,920 >> 'CAUSE IT COULD BE THAT SHE 415 00:15:21,987 --> 00:15:24,522 COULDN'T COME UP WITH ANYTHING BETTER TO SAY. 416 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,190 SHE MAY NOT HAVE REALIZED THAT 417 00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:27,759 THE ABSOLUTE WORST THING YOU 418 00:15:27,826 --> 00:15:29,294 COULD PROBABLY SAY IS THAT. 419 00:15:29,361 --> 00:15:30,929 >> YEAH, THAT WAS PRETTY BAD. 420 00:15:30,996 --> 00:15:33,731 >> SO, I'LL EXAMINE YOU, AND 421 00:15:33,799 --> 00:15:38,403 EITHER WAY, YOU NEED TO GET BACK ON THE HORSE. 422 00:15:38,470 --> 00:15:41,239 THE MORE YOU OBSESS, THE MORE YOU FOCUS, THE MORE YOU 423 00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:42,774 RUMINATE, YOU KNOW, THE NEXT 424 00:15:42,841 --> 00:15:44,409 THING THAT'S GONNA BE HAPPENING 425 00:15:44,476 --> 00:15:47,312 IS THAT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TROUBLE GETTING AN ERECTION. 426 00:15:47,379 --> 00:15:49,013 SO, LET'S EXAMINE. 427 00:15:49,081 --> 00:15:51,249 I'LL BRING YOU BACK HERE. 428 00:15:51,317 --> 00:15:54,719 HANG ON ONE SEC. 429 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,254 SO, YOU GUYS AREN'T GONNA BE IN 430 00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:57,822 HERE WHEN THIS HAPPENS, ARE YOU? 431 00:15:57,890 --> 00:15:58,356 >> NOPE. 432 00:15:58,424 --> 00:16:00,124 >> [ CHUCKLES ] 433 00:16:00,192 --> 00:16:02,126 >> YOU'RE NOT GONNA LAUGH OR ANYTHING? 434 00:16:02,194 --> 00:16:02,994 >> [ CHUCKLES ] 435 00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:04,362 NO, I'M LAUGHING AT THEM IN 436 00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:05,797 HERE, LIKE, GROOVING ON THIS. 437 00:16:05,864 --> 00:16:08,633 OKAY, SO, GUYS, WE'RE GONNA HAVE 438 00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:12,704 YOU GO OUT, AND THEN I'LL EXAMINE YOU, OKAY? 439 00:16:12,771 --> 00:16:14,238 >> COOL. 440 00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:15,673 >> OKAY, SO, GO AHEAD AND -- 441 00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:16,841 >> WE CAN DO IT -- I MEAN, HOW 442 00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:17,775 SHOULD -- WHAT'S EASIEST? 443 00:16:17,876 --> 00:16:18,509 STANDING, MAYBE? 444 00:16:18,577 --> 00:16:21,612 >> YEAH. 445 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:22,146 [ UNZIPPING ] 446 00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:24,115 >> [ CLEARS THROAT ] 447 00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,617 I MEAN, IT'S BASICALLY OFFICIAL. 448 00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:02,153 AS DR. BERMAN PUT IT, I AM THE 449 00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:06,124 MALE EQUIVALENT OF A GIRL WITH AN "A" CUP. 450 00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:07,692 COME HERE. JUMP. 451 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,328 GOOD BOY. 452 00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:12,163 >> WHAT DO YOU THINK BOSS THINKS? 453 00:17:12,231 --> 00:17:13,498 DOES BOSS FEEL YOUR PAIN? 454 00:17:13,565 --> 00:17:14,966 >> HE FEELS IT. HE KNOWS. 455 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,467 HE'S GOT A TINY DICK, TOO. 456 00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:19,804 I'VE SEEN IT. 457 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,672 PATHETIC. 458 00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:24,275 AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, THERE'S 459 00:17:24,343 --> 00:17:32,583 ONLY ONE THING LEFT TO DO, AND THAT IS... FIX IT. 460 00:17:35,854 --> 00:17:38,556 >> MOST MEN WISH THEY COULD HAVE A BIGGER PENIS. 461 00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:40,358 >> BUT UNTIL RECENTLY, THERE WAS 462 00:17:40,426 --> 00:17:42,160 LITTLE A MAN COULD DO TO IMPROVE 463 00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:43,828 ON WHAT NATURE HAD GIVEN HIM. 464 00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,863 >> I SAY GO LONG WITH EXTENZE! 465 00:17:45,931 --> 00:17:48,833 >> AND WE SPEND ALMOST $5 BILLION A YEAR ON 466 00:17:48,934 --> 00:17:50,635 PENIS-ENHANCEMENT PRODUCTS. 467 00:17:50,702 --> 00:17:54,772 THAT'S MORE THAN THE ENTIRE BUDGET FOR THE RED CROSS. 468 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:58,743 ONE OF THESE HAS TO WORK FOR ME. 469 00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:01,612 SO, WE'RE HEADED DOWN TO SAN DIEGO, TO MEET DR. KAPLAN, 470 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,414 THE KING OF THE PENIS PUMPS. 471 00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:04,849 >> THE LADIES WANT THE GUYS TO 472 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,217 HAVE A BIG PENIS, GUYS WANT TO 473 00:18:06,285 --> 00:18:07,518 HAVE A BIG PENIS, AND THE GAY 474 00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:08,886 GUYS WANT TO HAVE BIG PENISES. 475 00:18:08,954 --> 00:18:11,155 EVERYBODY WANTS TO HAVE A BIG PENIS. 476 00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:12,457 THIS IS THE HOME OFFICE. 477 00:18:12,524 --> 00:18:12,957 >> WOW. 478 00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:14,926 >> THERE'S ALL THE PUMPS WE HAVE HERE. 479 00:18:14,993 --> 00:18:16,461 BUT WITH A PUMP, YOU'RE BRINGING 480 00:18:16,528 --> 00:18:17,762 BLOOD FLOW INTO THE PENIS. 481 00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:19,063 THE CAPILLARIES EXPAND AND 482 00:18:19,131 --> 00:18:21,466 DILATE, BREAK DOWN AND REBUILD LIKE BODYBUILDING. 483 00:18:21,533 --> 00:18:22,133 >> MM-HMM. 484 00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:23,468 >> THE MUSCLE TISSUE DOES 485 00:18:23,535 --> 00:18:25,703 EXPAND, AND YOU DO GET BIGGER PERMANENTLY. 486 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:28,172 YOU TRY TO GET YOUR PENIS AS ERECT AS POSSIBLE. 487 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,607 PUT IT OVER THERE. 488 00:18:29,675 --> 00:18:30,541 >> MM-HMM. 489 00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:32,777 >> AND THEN YOUR PENIS WILL GET 490 00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:34,745 HARD, AND THEN YOU PUMP UP. 491 00:18:34,813 --> 00:18:36,247 AND AS YOUR PENIS GETS HARD -- 492 00:18:36,315 --> 00:18:37,548 AND THIS IS THE HAND PUMP. 493 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:38,883 YOU WANT THE PENIS TO LOOK 494 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,418 NATURAL AND CREATE AN ERECTION, 495 00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:43,020 WHICH IS SLIGHTLY LARGER THAN YOUR NATURAL ERECTION. 496 00:18:43,088 --> 00:18:44,455 HOLD YOUR HAND OUT, AND WE'LL 497 00:18:44,556 --> 00:18:46,757 SHOW YOU HOW WE CAN GET A NICE SUCTION HERE. 498 00:18:46,825 --> 00:18:48,025 LET'S TURN THIS WAY HERE. 499 00:18:48,093 --> 00:18:51,362 YEAH, LET GO OF THIS HAND, AND I THINK -- YEP. 500 00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:51,863 >> WHOA. 501 00:18:51,930 --> 00:18:52,497 >> SCIENCE. 502 00:18:52,564 --> 00:18:52,997 >> YEAH. 503 00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:54,465 >> YEAH, IT'S HOLDING A SUCTION. 504 00:18:54,533 --> 00:18:55,433 NOW, LISTEN. LISTEN. 505 00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:57,502 I'M GONNA PULL THIS OFF, AND YOU'LL HEAR IT. 506 00:18:57,569 --> 00:18:58,002 [ PUMP POPS ] 507 00:18:58,070 --> 00:18:58,970 >> [ CHUCKLES ] 508 00:18:59,037 --> 00:19:00,972 >> IT'S A PRETTY LARGE SNAP HERE. 509 00:19:01,039 --> 00:19:04,942 WOMEN WITH INVERTED NIPPLES OR 510 00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:06,811 EVEN SOME OF THE BODYBUILDERS 511 00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:08,813 TYPICALLY -- SOMETIMES EVEN GAY 512 00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:11,482 MEN -- TYPICALLY LIKE NIPPLE CYLINDERS. 513 00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:12,650 >> THESE ARE FOR -- I WAS 514 00:19:12,718 --> 00:19:14,051 LOOKING AT THOSE, LIKE, "THAT IS 515 00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:15,786 FOR THE TINIEST PENIS IN THE WORLD." 516 00:19:15,854 --> 00:19:16,821 >> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 517 00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:17,755 OH. YEAH, I DON'T THINK. 518 00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:18,890 >> THAT WOULD BE CLOSE TO THE 519 00:19:18,957 --> 00:19:19,924 TINIEST PENIS IN THE WORLD. 520 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:20,992 >> BABY PENIS. I DON'T KNOW. 521 00:19:21,059 --> 00:19:23,761 WE'RE GOING TO TURN ON THE ELECTRIC PUMP... >> OKAY. 522 00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:27,899 >> ...SEE IF WE GET GET A NICE SUCTION IN HERE. 523 00:19:27,966 --> 00:19:32,904 GONNA PUT IT UP TO THE MAXIMUM. 524 00:19:32,971 --> 00:19:36,674 UM...MY KEY'S IN. 525 00:19:36,742 --> 00:19:37,341 >> ALL RIGHT. 526 00:19:37,409 --> 00:19:39,777 >> THEN WE'LL PUT THESE ON THE NIPPLES. 527 00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:42,046 THERE WE GO! OH, MY -- >> GAH! 528 00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:43,181 >> OH, MY GOD! 529 00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:43,848 >> AH! 530 00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:45,149 >> WOMEN WITH SMALL NIPPLES, A 531 00:19:45,217 --> 00:19:46,551 LOT OF THE BODYBUILDERS WHO WORK 532 00:19:46,618 --> 00:19:48,819 THEIR CHEST -- THEY WANT THEIR NIPPLES TO STICK OUT. 533 00:19:48,887 --> 00:19:50,221 IT SHOULD FEEL GOOD. ARE YOU? 534 00:19:50,289 --> 00:19:51,422 >> FEELS OKAY. 535 00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:51,789 >> YEAH. 536 00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:53,024 >> SQUEEZE A LITTLE JUICE OUT THERE. 537 00:19:53,091 --> 00:19:54,025 >> YEAH, WHAT'S WITH THE JUICE? 538 00:19:54,092 --> 00:19:54,592 >> I DON'T KNOW. 539 00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:55,626 >> [ LAUGHS ] 540 00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:57,161 ACTUALLY, THAT'S VERY COMMON. 541 00:19:57,229 --> 00:19:57,895 >> OKAY, GOOD. 542 00:19:57,963 --> 00:19:59,096 >> ALL RIGHT, THERE WE GO. 543 00:19:59,164 --> 00:19:59,730 NO PROBLEM. 544 00:19:59,798 --> 00:20:00,765 >> [ EXHALES SHARPLY ] 545 00:20:00,832 --> 00:20:01,599 >> YOU'LL LIVE. 546 00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:02,800 >> YEAH. NO. IT'S OKAY. 547 00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:04,936 I'VE NEVER SEEN MY NIPPLES BALLOON LIKE THAT BEFORE. 548 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,204 >> WELL, YOU'LL BE AMAZED WHEN 549 00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:07,772 YOU PUT THE CYLINDER ON YOUR PENIS. 550 00:20:07,839 --> 00:20:09,307 IT'S GONNA BE -- >> I CAN IMAGINE. 551 00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:10,608 >> B-BOOM! 552 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:22,820 >> ALL RIGHT, LET'S... THERE WE GO. 553 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:29,060 STOCKROOM. 554 00:20:29,127 --> 00:20:32,863 HI. HOW ARE YOU? 555 00:20:32,931 --> 00:20:35,032 [ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ] 556 00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:51,048 >> ARE YOU LOOKING FOR TOYS 557 00:20:52,284 --> 00:20:52,783 OR...? 558 00:20:52,851 --> 00:20:56,053 >> DO YOU GUYS HAVE, LIKE, ENHANCEMENT KIND OF STUFF? 559 00:20:56,121 --> 00:20:56,654 >> YEAH. 560 00:20:56,722 --> 00:20:58,756 UM, LIKE, FOR YOUR PENIS? 561 00:20:58,824 --> 00:20:59,957 >> YES. 562 00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:01,559 >> WELL, IF YOU DON'T MIND, LET'S JUST -- 563 00:21:01,627 --> 00:21:02,393 >> YEAH, YEAH, SURE. 564 00:21:02,461 --> 00:21:04,128 >> THERE'S SOME STUFF UP HERE... >> TEACH ME. 565 00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:04,996 >> ...THAT MIGHT WORK. 566 00:21:05,063 --> 00:21:06,497 [ LAUGHS ] 567 00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:07,164 >> WHOA. 568 00:21:07,232 --> 00:21:08,766 >> SO, OKAY, I GUESS WHAT I 569 00:21:08,834 --> 00:21:10,635 WOULD SAY, JUST AS FAR AS, LIKE, 570 00:21:10,702 --> 00:21:12,336 MAKING YOUR PENIS LOOK BIGGER 571 00:21:12,404 --> 00:21:15,039 AND A LITTLE BIT, YOU KNOW, HARDER, LONGER... 572 00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:15,740 >> RIGHT. 573 00:21:15,807 --> 00:21:18,609 >> ...COCK RINGS CAN BE REALLY AWESOME FOR THAT. 574 00:21:18,677 --> 00:21:20,778 >> IS THAT -- THIS IS A COCK RING? 575 00:21:20,846 --> 00:21:22,413 >> YEAH, THESE ARE THE NEOPRENE 576 00:21:22,514 --> 00:21:25,116 ONES, WHICH IS KIND OF RAD BECAUSE THEY STRETCH. 577 00:21:25,183 --> 00:21:27,918 SO, IF YOU'VE NEVER USED IT BEFORE -- >> MM-HMM. 578 00:21:27,986 --> 00:21:29,620 >> HAVE YOU EVER USED IT BEFORE? 579 00:21:29,688 --> 00:21:32,290 >> NO, NO, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT THEY HAD THOSE. 580 00:21:32,357 --> 00:21:34,225 >> SO, THESE ARE THE PUMPS, AND 581 00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:37,128 BASICALLY, YOU KNOW, YOUR PENIS GOES IN HERE. 582 00:21:37,195 --> 00:21:37,895 >> RIGHT. 583 00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:40,431 >> AND THIS IS THE AIR TUBE AND 584 00:21:40,499 --> 00:21:43,467 THE VALVE THAT BASICALLY PUMPS IT. 585 00:21:43,535 --> 00:21:44,368 >> OKAY. 586 00:21:44,436 --> 00:21:46,170 >> WHAT ABOUT LIKE PILLS OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT? 587 00:21:46,238 --> 00:21:47,705 DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THOSE OR...? 588 00:21:47,773 --> 00:21:49,140 >> I MEAN, I KNOW THAT WE HAVE THEM. 589 00:21:49,207 --> 00:21:51,776 I JUST -- I JUST KIND OF BEGAN WORKING HERE. 590 00:21:51,843 --> 00:21:52,410 >> OKAY. 591 00:21:52,477 --> 00:21:55,379 >> SO, THIS IS MY -- >> YOU'RE NOT LIKE A "SEXPERT" 592 00:21:55,447 --> 00:21:56,247 OR ANYTHING? 593 00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:56,781 >> NO. 594 00:21:56,848 --> 00:21:57,515 >> OKAY. 595 00:21:57,582 --> 00:21:59,984 YEAH, THIS LOOKS LIKE A GOOD START. 596 00:22:00,052 --> 00:22:01,252 I'VE GOT MATERIAL. 597 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:02,286 >> COOL. RAD. 598 00:22:02,354 --> 00:22:04,855 >> I HAVE SOME MONEY HERE SOMEWHERE. 599 00:22:04,923 --> 00:22:05,790 HI. 600 00:22:05,857 --> 00:22:08,693 >> HI. 601 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:10,061 ARE YOU WITH THESE GUYS? 602 00:22:10,128 --> 00:22:11,762 >> WITH -- NO, HUH-UNH. 603 00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:13,998 I DON'T KNOW WHO THOSE GUYS ARE. 604 00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:15,232 >> WHAT'S THAT? 605 00:22:15,300 --> 00:22:16,500 >> IT'S NOTHING. 606 00:22:16,568 --> 00:22:17,435 >> THAT'S A FUCKING CAMERA. 607 00:22:17,502 --> 00:22:18,035 >> NO, IT'S NOT. 608 00:22:18,103 --> 00:22:19,103 >> GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY STORE. 609 00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:19,804 >> OKAY, I'M GOING. 610 00:22:19,871 --> 00:22:20,671 I'M LEAVING. I'M LEAVING. 611 00:22:20,739 --> 00:22:22,873 [ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ] 612 00:22:32,684 --> 00:22:34,352 >> WELL, I CAN TELL YOU A LITTLE 613 00:22:34,419 --> 00:22:35,853 BIT OF WHY I WROTE MY BOOK. 614 00:22:35,921 --> 00:22:36,787 >> MM-HMM. 615 00:22:36,988 --> 00:22:37,655 >> I'M A TALL GUY. 616 00:22:37,723 --> 00:22:38,055 >> RIGHT. 617 00:22:38,156 --> 00:22:39,256 >> I DON'T KNOW IF YOU NOTICED, 618 00:22:39,324 --> 00:22:40,524 BUT I'M A BLACK GUY, AS WELL. 619 00:22:40,726 --> 00:22:42,893 >> YEAH, THAT WAS SOMETHING I NOTICED. 620 00:22:42,994 --> 00:22:44,328 >> SO, THERE ARE CERTAIN 621 00:22:44,396 --> 00:22:47,098 STEREOTYPES ABOUT BOTH TALL GUYS AND BLACK GUYS. 622 00:22:47,165 --> 00:22:47,832 >> MM-HMM. 623 00:22:47,899 --> 00:22:49,700 >> AND GROWING UP -- 'CAUSE I AM 624 00:22:49,768 --> 00:22:51,369 WHO I AM -- I ALWAYS THOUGHT 625 00:22:51,436 --> 00:22:53,070 THAT I WAS ON THE SMALL SIDE. 626 00:22:53,138 --> 00:22:53,704 >> MM-HMM. 627 00:22:53,772 --> 00:22:55,139 >> I MEAN, I'M JUST BASICALLY 628 00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:56,474 TRYING TO FIND A TECHNIQUE 629 00:22:56,541 --> 00:22:58,008 THAT -- SOMETHING THAT'LL WORK. 630 00:22:58,076 --> 00:22:59,977 >> WELL, I CAN TELL YOU ABOUT JELQING. 631 00:23:00,045 --> 00:23:00,544 >> OKAY. 632 00:23:00,612 --> 00:23:02,780 >> IT'S BASED ON THE PREMISE 633 00:23:02,848 --> 00:23:05,249 THAT YOU WILL CREATE MICRO-TEARS 634 00:23:05,317 --> 00:23:08,152 IN THE INSIDE OF YOUR PENIS... >> MM-HMM. 635 00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:09,420 >> ...SORT OF LIKE YOU DO WITH 636 00:23:09,488 --> 00:23:10,521 MUSCLES WHEN YOU WORK OUT. 637 00:23:10,589 --> 00:23:11,689 YOU TEAR THE INSIDE OF YOUR 638 00:23:11,757 --> 00:23:13,724 MUSCLES, AND THEY GROW BACK BIGGER AND STRONGER. 639 00:23:13,792 --> 00:23:16,227 SO, CHOOSE A BALLOON THAT BEST REPRESENTS YOUR SIZE. 640 00:23:16,294 --> 00:23:16,727 >> MNH. 641 00:23:16,795 --> 00:23:17,762 >> I'M JUST KIDDING. 642 00:23:17,829 --> 00:23:19,930 >> YOU DON'T HAVE ANY SMALLER ONES, DO YOU? 643 00:23:19,998 --> 00:23:20,631 [ CHUCKLES ] 644 00:23:20,699 --> 00:23:22,066 >> AND THEN WHAT YOU DO IS YOU 645 00:23:22,134 --> 00:23:23,734 CREATE A TIGHT HOLD ON IT. 646 00:23:23,802 --> 00:23:24,568 >> MM-HMM. 647 00:23:24,636 --> 00:23:26,404 >> AND THEN YOU SLIDE IT DOWN 648 00:23:26,471 --> 00:23:28,406 THE EDGE, FORCING THE BLOOD INTO 649 00:23:28,473 --> 00:23:33,077 THE TOP OF THE HEAD AND THEN THROUGH. 650 00:23:33,145 --> 00:23:35,713 FOR THE FIRST FIVE DAYS, YOU DO IT 40 TIMES. 651 00:23:35,781 --> 00:23:37,148 AND EVERY FIVE DAYS, YOU 652 00:23:37,215 --> 00:23:39,383 BASICALLY ADD ANOTHER 40... >> OKAY. 653 00:23:39,451 --> 00:23:40,785 >> ...UP UNTIL YOU GET TO 200. 654 00:23:40,852 --> 00:23:41,285 >> OKAY. 655 00:23:41,353 --> 00:23:45,055 >> AFTER NINE DAYS, I INCREASED BY HALF AN INCH. 656 00:23:45,123 --> 00:23:45,790 >> WOW. 657 00:23:45,857 --> 00:23:47,958 >> YEAH, AND THEN -- NOT UNTIL 658 00:23:48,026 --> 00:23:51,529 AFTER THREE MONTHS DID I GET UP TO A FULL 1 3/4". 659 00:23:51,596 --> 00:23:52,096 >> MM-HMM. 660 00:23:52,197 --> 00:23:53,397 >> YOU KNOW, BEFORE I HAD A 661 00:23:53,465 --> 00:23:55,065 PENIS ENLARGEMENT, I WAS INSECURE. 662 00:23:55,133 --> 00:23:55,666 >> MM-HMM. 663 00:23:55,734 --> 00:23:57,802 >> I WAS HESITANT TO TAKE OFF MY 664 00:23:57,869 --> 00:23:59,570 PANTS IN FRONT OF A WOMAN. 665 00:23:59,638 --> 00:24:00,438 >> MM-HMM. 666 00:24:00,505 --> 00:24:02,373 >> NOW I AM NOT. 667 00:24:04,910 --> 00:24:06,377 >> SO, MY DAILY ROUTINE IS 668 00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:09,547 PUMPING AND PILLS IN THE MORNING AND JELQING AT NIGHT. 669 00:24:09,614 --> 00:24:12,583 >> ¶ OH, YEAH >> THE PENIS IS JUST LIKE A MUSCLE. 670 00:24:12,651 --> 00:24:14,185 IF I WORK IT OUT EVERY DAYS, THE 671 00:24:14,252 --> 00:24:17,822 CELLS WILL BREAK DOWN AND GROW TO A LARGER SIZE. 672 00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:29,133 LAST OF THIS PACK. 673 00:24:29,201 --> 00:24:31,235 PLENTY MORE TO GO. 674 00:24:39,611 --> 00:24:40,711 AH. 675 00:24:40,779 --> 00:24:42,480 EVERY DAY, I MEASURE MY PENIS 676 00:24:42,547 --> 00:24:44,381 LENGTH, AND AFTER THE 15th DAY, 677 00:24:44,449 --> 00:24:46,050 MY PENIS IS ALREADY AN 1/8" 678 00:24:46,117 --> 00:24:48,886 LONGER. 679 00:24:48,954 --> 00:24:51,789 THE INITIAL RESULTS ARE PROMISING, BUT I CAN'T JUST SIT 680 00:24:51,857 --> 00:24:53,424 AROUND, WAITING FOR THE PAYOFF. 681 00:24:53,492 --> 00:25:00,130 I NEED SOME REAL PROFESSIONAL ADVICE ABOUT PENIS SIZE. 682 00:25:00,198 --> 00:25:01,899 >> [ Rapping ] SIZE DON'T MATTER. 683 00:25:01,967 --> 00:25:03,267 I PUT MY SIZE ON A PLATTER. 684 00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:04,702 AND I CAN SHUT THAT UP, PUT A 685 00:25:04,769 --> 00:25:06,170 DICK IN HER MOUTH, NO CHATTER. 686 00:25:06,238 --> 00:25:06,837 BE QUIET. 687 00:25:06,905 --> 00:25:08,372 I'M COMING TO START A RIOT. 688 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:09,773 I WANT TO FUCK YOUR GIRL. 689 00:25:09,841 --> 00:25:12,409 YEAH, I GOT TO TRY IT, FREESTYLE, OFF THE TOP. 690 00:25:12,477 --> 00:25:13,544 YOU CAN'T FUCK WITH ME. 691 00:25:13,612 --> 00:25:14,979 ALL DAY, SIZE DON'T MATTER. 692 00:25:15,046 --> 00:25:17,014 COME FUCK WITH ME. 693 00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:19,350 >> I PROPOSED TO A GIRL THAT I WAS DATING. 694 00:25:19,417 --> 00:25:20,985 SHE SAID THAT SHE COULDN'T MARRY 695 00:25:21,052 --> 00:25:23,187 ME BECAUSE SHE SAID MY PENIS WAS, LIKE... 696 00:25:23,255 --> 00:25:24,588 >> TOO SMALL? 697 00:25:24,656 --> 00:25:25,890 >> A LITTLE BIT. 698 00:25:26,057 --> 00:25:26,557 >> OUCH! 699 00:25:26,625 --> 00:25:27,191 >> RIGHT. 700 00:25:27,259 --> 00:25:27,758 >> OUCH. 701 00:25:27,826 --> 00:25:29,360 >> IT'S NOT, LIKE, BROKEN SMALL. 702 00:25:29,427 --> 00:25:31,562 IT'S LIKE -- >> I MEAN, IS IT BIGGER THAN 703 00:25:31,630 --> 00:25:32,363 YOUR FINGERS? 704 00:25:32,430 --> 00:25:32,763 >> YEAH! 705 00:25:32,864 --> 00:25:34,732 >> THAT'S A STEP IN A POSITIVE DIRECTION, RIGHT? 706 00:25:34,799 --> 00:25:36,867 [ Chuckling ] AS LONG AS IT'S BIGGER THAN YOUR FINGERS. 707 00:25:36,935 --> 00:25:38,102 >> RIGHT. 708 00:25:38,169 --> 00:25:39,703 >> WHOO! 709 00:25:39,771 --> 00:25:41,472 >> IT'S A ROWDY COCK. 710 00:25:41,673 --> 00:25:43,040 >> WHEN ANYBODY SAYS THAT SIZE 711 00:25:43,108 --> 00:25:44,542 DOESN'T MATTER, THAT'S GUY WITH 712 00:25:44,609 --> 00:25:45,809 SMALL DICKS THAT SAY THAT. 713 00:25:45,877 --> 00:25:47,177 >> ALWAYS FOCUS ON THE CLIT. 714 00:25:47,245 --> 00:25:48,178 >> FOCUS ON THE CLIT? 715 00:25:48,246 --> 00:25:49,413 >> ALWAYS FOCUS ON THE CLIT. 716 00:25:49,481 --> 00:25:51,015 >> LIKE, I'M SO USED TO GIVING, 717 00:25:51,082 --> 00:25:52,583 LIKE, A NICE RHYTHM, THAT WHEN 718 00:25:52,651 --> 00:25:54,184 THERE'S NOT ENOUGH LENGTH TO DO 719 00:25:54,252 --> 00:25:55,819 THAT, MY RHYTHM IS OFF BIG TIME. 720 00:25:55,887 --> 00:25:56,787 [ LAUGHS ] 721 00:25:56,855 --> 00:25:59,156 >> IF YOU NEED TO COMPENSATE FOR 722 00:25:59,224 --> 00:26:01,458 HAVING A SMALLER COCK, THE GIRL 723 00:26:01,526 --> 00:26:03,827 LAYS DOWN ON THE BED, KIND OF IN 724 00:26:03,895 --> 00:26:06,897 MISSIONARY, BUT LIKE THIS, TO THE SIDE. 725 00:26:06,965 --> 00:26:08,165 AND THE GUY -- YOU'RE LIKE 726 00:26:08,233 --> 00:26:10,234 FUCKING MISSIONARY -- IT'S LIKE SIDEWAYS. 727 00:26:10,302 --> 00:26:11,268 THAT'S A GOOD ONE. 728 00:26:11,336 --> 00:26:13,804 >> WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO A GUY LIKE ME? 729 00:26:13,872 --> 00:26:15,172 >> I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST 730 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:16,740 EXPERIMENT AND RESEARCH ALL THE 731 00:26:16,808 --> 00:26:19,143 DIFFERENT TYPES OF FETISHES THAT ARE AVAILABLE. 732 00:26:19,244 --> 00:26:20,978 I HAVE A FOOT FETISH, AND I LIKE 733 00:26:21,046 --> 00:26:22,346 GETTING FUCKED BY FEET. 734 00:26:22,414 --> 00:26:24,181 SO, IF YOU REALLY LIKE SOMETHING 735 00:26:24,249 --> 00:26:25,883 BIG, PUT A FOOT INSIDE OF YOUR 736 00:26:25,951 --> 00:26:28,085 VAGINA AND SEE WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE. 737 00:26:28,153 --> 00:26:29,520 >> THE CAMERA HAS ONLY SO MUCH 738 00:26:29,588 --> 00:26:31,622 SPACE IN WHICH WE CAN SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING. 739 00:26:31,690 --> 00:26:34,692 IF I GOT A GUY WHO'S NOT, YOU 740 00:26:34,793 --> 00:26:36,393 KNOW, ABOVE AVERAGE, THEN IT'S 741 00:26:36,461 --> 00:26:39,163 DIFFICULT FOR US TO SEE WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE. 742 00:26:39,230 --> 00:26:41,165 >> WELL, IT DEPENDS ON THE VAGINA, TOO. 743 00:26:41,232 --> 00:26:43,767 EVEN THOUGH MY VAGINA IS REALLY SMALL, IT'S ALSO VERY 744 00:26:43,835 --> 00:26:45,836 STRETCHABLE, TO WHERE IT DOESN'T HURT ME. 745 00:26:45,904 --> 00:26:47,304 >> YOU DON'T WANT TO FEEL LIKE 746 00:26:47,372 --> 00:26:48,572 A HOT DOG DOWN A HALLWAY. 747 00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:49,440 >> RIGHT, RIGHT. 748 00:26:49,507 --> 00:26:53,177 >> BUT, FOR EXAMPLE, TO STIMULATE A WOMAN'S G-SPOT, YOU 749 00:26:53,244 --> 00:26:56,880 ARE AT AN ADVANTAGE IF YOUR PENIS IS SMALL BECAUSE THE 750 00:26:56,948 --> 00:26:58,983 G-SPOT IS ABOUT, YOU KNOW, LIKE 751 00:26:59,050 --> 00:27:01,085 2 1/2" INSIDE A WOMAN'S VAGINA. 752 00:27:01,152 --> 00:27:04,188 SO, A LONG PENIS WILL GO RIGHT PAST IT. 753 00:27:04,255 --> 00:27:06,357 >> THE ADVANTAGE OF BEING LONG IS YOU CAN PUT IN LESS. 754 00:27:06,424 --> 00:27:08,158 NOW, IF YOU'RE THICK, YOU'RE STUCK, YOU KNOW? 755 00:27:08,259 --> 00:27:10,327 YOU CAN'T TELL A GIRL, "I'LL MAKE IT THINNER FOR YOU. 756 00:27:10,395 --> 00:27:13,364 >> DO YOU HAVE TO HAVE A GIANT DICK? 757 00:27:13,431 --> 00:27:22,306 >> A GOOD TONGUE IS MORE IMPORTANT. 758 00:27:22,374 --> 00:27:24,241 >> WHAT CHICK? 759 00:27:29,247 --> 00:27:31,048 DO YOU HAVE A...? 760 00:27:31,116 --> 00:27:31,649 >> RIGHT HERE. 761 00:27:31,716 --> 00:27:33,617 >> AN EXTRA ONE OF THESE? 762 00:27:33,685 --> 00:27:34,718 >> OH, MY GOD. 763 00:27:34,786 --> 00:27:38,088 >> DO YOU, UH -- DO YOU REMEMBER ME, FROM YOUR -- 764 00:27:38,156 --> 00:27:39,089 >> YEAH, YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT 765 00:27:39,157 --> 00:27:40,090 SUPPOSED TO TAKE PICTURES IN 766 00:27:40,158 --> 00:27:41,158 THERE, AND THEN YOU'RE TALKING 767 00:27:41,226 --> 00:27:43,661 TO ME ABOUT -- WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING? 768 00:27:43,728 --> 00:27:45,429 THAT GOT ME IN A LOT OF TROUBLE. 769 00:27:45,497 --> 00:27:46,764 >> WE'RE MAKING A DOCUMENTARY 770 00:27:46,831 --> 00:27:48,132 ABOUT SIZE, AND I'M SORRY THAT 771 00:27:48,199 --> 00:27:49,433 YOU GOT IN TROUBLE FOR THAT. 772 00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:50,100 I REALLY AM. 773 00:27:50,168 --> 00:27:51,802 I MEAN, HOW CAN WE MAKE THIS GOOD? 774 00:27:51,870 --> 00:27:53,170 >> HOW CAN WE MAKE THE CAMERAS 775 00:27:53,238 --> 00:27:55,506 WORK IN YOUR FAVOR INSTEAD OF -- >> PUT THIS ON. 776 00:27:55,573 --> 00:27:56,273 >> THE DRESS? 777 00:27:56,341 --> 00:27:57,441 >> LET EVERYBODY KNOW. 778 00:27:57,509 --> 00:27:58,909 >> IF IT WOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY 779 00:27:58,977 --> 00:28:00,444 AND BE ABLE TO BURY THE HATCHET 780 00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:01,912 HERE, I WILL WEAR THAT DRESS. 781 00:28:01,980 --> 00:28:02,780 I SWEAR TO GOD. 782 00:28:02,847 --> 00:28:04,314 I'LL PUT MY HAIR UP LIKE YOURS, 783 00:28:04,382 --> 00:28:05,916 I'LL GRAB THESE, AND I WILL WALK 784 00:28:05,984 --> 00:28:07,451 AROUND IN THOSE HEELS, WHICH IS 785 00:28:07,519 --> 00:28:09,620 DANGEROUS 'CAUSE I HAVE VERY WEAK ANKLES. 786 00:28:09,688 --> 00:28:11,722 SERIOUSLY. 787 00:28:11,823 --> 00:28:15,359 YOU KNOW, I'D FEEL BAD IF... >> ALL RIGHT. IT'S OKAY. 788 00:28:15,427 --> 00:28:16,093 >> OKAY. 789 00:28:16,161 --> 00:28:17,828 >> THANKS FOR APOLOGIZING. 790 00:28:17,896 --> 00:28:19,930 >> IT TURNS OUT HER NAME IS KASSIA. 791 00:28:19,998 --> 00:28:21,699 SHE'S GOT A ROCK BAND, AND SHE'S 792 00:28:21,766 --> 00:28:23,734 ACTUALLY PRETTY COOL, WHEN 793 00:28:23,802 --> 00:28:25,969 YOU'RE NOT ALMOST GETTING HER FIRED. 794 00:28:26,037 --> 00:28:27,271 BUT AS MUCH AS I'D LIKE THIS 795 00:28:27,338 --> 00:28:28,739 MOVIE TO BE ABOUT HER, RIGHT NOW 796 00:28:28,807 --> 00:28:30,474 I NEED TO STAY FOCUSED ON MY PENIS. 797 00:28:30,542 --> 00:28:32,076 >> ¶ HEY, HEY, HEY 798 00:28:37,716 --> 00:28:39,616 ¶ HEY, HEY 799 00:28:53,398 --> 00:28:54,832 >> THE PORN STARTS TAUGHT ME I 800 00:28:54,899 --> 00:28:56,333 HAVE A LOT TO LEARN ABOUT SEX, 801 00:28:56,401 --> 00:28:57,801 AND SAN FRANCISCO IS THE MOST 802 00:28:57,869 --> 00:28:59,703 SEXUALLY LIBERATED CITY IN AMERICA. 803 00:28:59,771 --> 00:29:02,940 I NEED TO GO TO A PLACE LIKE THAT. 804 00:29:03,007 --> 00:29:04,875 >> I THINK THIS WILL BE GOOD, MAN. 805 00:29:04,943 --> 00:29:06,376 >> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 806 00:29:06,478 --> 00:29:07,511 THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 807 00:29:07,579 --> 00:29:09,079 I LOOK LIKE A BIG, DUMB IDIOT. 808 00:29:09,147 --> 00:29:11,148 PEOPLE AREN'T GONNA TAKE ME SERIOUSLY. 809 00:29:11,216 --> 00:29:12,649 I'M A GIANT HOT DOG WEARING A 810 00:29:12,751 --> 00:29:17,387 SIGN THAT SAYS "WIENER TALK?" 811 00:29:17,455 --> 00:29:19,022 DO YOU THINK THAT SIZE MATTERS TO WOMEN? 812 00:29:19,090 --> 00:29:20,557 >> YEAH, YOU GOT TO HAVE SOME GIRTH. 813 00:29:20,625 --> 00:29:21,725 >> YOU GOT TO HAVE SOME GIRTH. 814 00:29:21,793 --> 00:29:22,893 >> YOU GOT TO HAVE SOME GIRTH. 815 00:29:22,961 --> 00:29:24,695 IF YOU GO TOO LONG -- THE CERVIX 816 00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:27,831 IS ONLY SO LONG -- YOU KNOW, YOU'RE DEEP, 8", POW, POW. 817 00:29:27,899 --> 00:29:29,600 THEY SAY, "OW." IT'S OVER WITH. 818 00:29:29,667 --> 00:29:31,535 >> DO YOU LIKE REALLY BIG -- >> BIASED OPINION. 819 00:29:31,603 --> 00:29:32,803 >> WOULD YOU BREAK UP WITH A GUY 820 00:29:32,871 --> 00:29:33,904 IF HIS PENIS WAS TOO SMALL? 821 00:29:33,972 --> 00:29:34,438 >> YEP. 822 00:29:34,506 --> 00:29:36,140 >> HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SITUATION 823 00:29:36,207 --> 00:29:39,042 WITH A GIRL WHERE YOU WERE EITHER TOO BIG OR TOO SMALL? 824 00:29:39,110 --> 00:29:40,544 >> I WAS TOO DRUNK ONCE -- WELL, 825 00:29:40,612 --> 00:29:41,745 ACTUALLY, A LOT OF TIMES. 826 00:29:41,813 --> 00:29:42,780 >> AH! 827 00:29:42,847 --> 00:29:43,514 >> [ CHUCKLES ] 828 00:29:43,581 --> 00:29:44,915 >> WHOO! 829 00:29:44,983 --> 00:29:46,383 >> TELL ME WHEN TO STOP, WHEN 830 00:29:46,451 --> 00:29:47,951 YOU THINK I'M AT WHAT'S AVERAGE. 831 00:29:48,019 --> 00:29:49,520 >> THAT'S -- THAT'S AVERAGE. 832 00:29:49,587 --> 00:29:50,621 >> THAT'S AVERAGE? 833 00:29:50,688 --> 00:29:52,256 >> 7 1/4". 834 00:29:52,323 --> 00:29:53,590 >> DO YOU FEEL BETTER NAKED? 835 00:29:53,658 --> 00:29:54,892 >> OH, YEAH, EVERYONE DOES. 836 00:29:54,959 --> 00:29:55,492 >> REALLY? 837 00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:56,026 >> YEAH. 838 00:29:56,094 --> 00:29:57,361 >> WHAT IF I'M LIKE A LITTLE 839 00:29:57,428 --> 00:29:59,129 SMALL, SO I FEEL A LITTLE INSECURE? 840 00:29:59,197 --> 00:30:00,964 >> NO, NO, NO, EVERYONE SHOULD BE NAKED. 841 00:30:01,032 --> 00:30:01,999 >> IS IT A DEALBREAKER? 842 00:30:02,066 --> 00:30:04,168 LIKE, IF YOU WERE WITH A GUY WHO -- >> NO. 843 00:30:04,235 --> 00:30:05,235 >> WAS TOO SMALL? 844 00:30:05,303 --> 00:30:07,404 >> NO, BUT I DO LIKE A LARGE WIENER. 845 00:30:07,472 --> 00:30:08,005 >> YOU DO? 846 00:30:08,072 --> 00:30:10,174 WELL, THEN, LOOKS LIKE WE'RE A PERFECT COUPLE. 847 00:30:10,241 --> 00:30:12,376 >> I LIKE A BIG... >> IF A GUY SAID THAT THERE WAS 848 00:30:12,443 --> 00:30:13,710 SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU, WOULD 849 00:30:13,778 --> 00:30:15,012 YOU CHANGE THAT TO BE WITH HIM? 850 00:30:15,079 --> 00:30:15,546 >> NO. 851 00:30:15,613 --> 00:30:17,748 I WOULD SAY, "FUCK YOU, MOTHERFUCKER! 852 00:30:17,849 --> 00:30:19,950 I HAVE MY FUCKING BACHELOR'S DEGREE! 853 00:30:20,018 --> 00:30:21,485 I SUPPORT YOUR FUCKING ASS! 854 00:30:21,553 --> 00:30:24,021 AND I'M NOT GONNA DO IT ANYMORE! 855 00:30:24,088 --> 00:30:26,290 I AM NOT GONNA DO IT ANYMORE. 856 00:30:26,357 --> 00:30:28,559 >> THAT SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY SPECIFIC -- 857 00:30:28,626 --> 00:30:29,693 >> GROW THE FUCK UP! 858 00:30:29,761 --> 00:30:32,763 >> ARE YOU TALKING TO SOMEONE IN PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW? 859 00:30:32,831 --> 00:30:36,533 [ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ] 860 00:30:36,601 --> 00:30:38,769 OH, MY GOD. 861 00:30:38,870 --> 00:30:39,770 TOO BIG IS BAD. 862 00:30:39,838 --> 00:30:42,506 >> NO, NO, NO, TOO BIG IS BAD, TOO SMALL IS BAD. 863 00:30:42,574 --> 00:30:43,273 >> AVERAGE? 864 00:30:43,341 --> 00:30:44,575 >> AVERAGE IS PERFECT. 865 00:30:44,642 --> 00:30:46,376 >> WHAT IF IT'S A LITTLE BELOW AVERAGE? 866 00:30:46,444 --> 00:30:48,679 >> BAD. 867 00:30:48,780 --> 00:30:49,279 >> HELLO? 868 00:30:49,347 --> 00:30:49,847 >> HELLO. 869 00:30:49,914 --> 00:30:50,280 >> HI. 870 00:30:50,348 --> 00:30:51,248 >> ROBERT LAWRENCE. 871 00:30:51,316 --> 00:30:52,082 >> I'M PATRICK. 872 00:30:52,150 --> 00:30:53,016 >> HELLO, PATRICK. 873 00:30:53,084 --> 00:30:54,017 >> NICE TO MEET YOU. 874 00:30:54,085 --> 00:30:55,419 >> THIS IS A COMMUNITY SEX SPACE. 875 00:30:55,486 --> 00:30:55,886 >> MM-HMM. 876 00:30:55,987 --> 00:30:57,721 >> AND IT'S THE FIRST LIKE IT IN THE NATION. 877 00:30:57,789 --> 00:30:58,121 >> WOW. 878 00:30:58,189 --> 00:30:59,590 I MEAN, THAT'S AWESOME. 879 00:30:59,757 --> 00:31:02,259 >> AND WE PRODUCE VARIOUS EVENTS, AS LONG AS THEY HAVE 880 00:31:02,327 --> 00:31:05,362 SOME SORT OF INTEREST ABOUT SEX OR GENDER IN THEM. 881 00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:05,996 >> MM-HMM. 882 00:31:06,064 --> 00:31:07,331 >> ALSO HARBOR SOMETHING CALLED 883 00:31:07,398 --> 00:31:08,665 THE MASTURBATE-A-THON GIL TELLS. 884 00:31:08,733 --> 00:31:09,099 >> WOW. 885 00:31:09,167 --> 00:31:10,400 >> MASTURBATE-A-THON IS A GROUP 886 00:31:10,468 --> 00:31:12,603 OF PEOPLE GETTING TOGETHER IN A ROOM TO MASTURBATE. 887 00:31:12,670 --> 00:31:13,170 >> OKAY. 888 00:31:13,238 --> 00:31:14,738 >> AND THEY PAY MONEY TO DO SO, 889 00:31:14,806 --> 00:31:17,074 AND THAT MONEY GOES TO DESERVING NONPROFITS. 890 00:31:17,141 --> 00:31:18,675 >> IN TERMS OF WHAT YOU GUYS DO, 891 00:31:18,743 --> 00:31:20,878 PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING GOES HERE, SEXUALLY? 892 00:31:20,945 --> 00:31:22,412 >> NO, WE DON'T ALLOW PEOPLE TO 893 00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:23,847 PISS ON PEOPLE IN THIS VENUE. 894 00:31:23,915 --> 00:31:25,082 IT'S HARD ON THE FLOORS. 895 00:31:25,149 --> 00:31:25,616 >> YEAH. 896 00:31:25,683 --> 00:31:27,017 >> WE DON'T ALLOW OTHER BODY 897 00:31:27,085 --> 00:31:28,552 FLUIDS THAT ARE FROM DOWN THERE, 898 00:31:28,620 --> 00:31:30,020 LET'S SAY, MORE DISCREETLY, TO 899 00:31:30,088 --> 00:31:31,421 BE PUT ON THE FLOORS OR TO BE 900 00:31:31,489 --> 00:31:33,857 PUT ON PEOPLE BECAUSE OF CONCERNS ABOUT SMELL AND 901 00:31:33,925 --> 00:31:34,524 SANITATION. 902 00:31:34,592 --> 00:31:36,159 >> HOW DO YOU THINK THAT SIZE 903 00:31:36,227 --> 00:31:38,595 KIND OF PLAYS INTO AN INDIVIDUAL'S KIND OF 904 00:31:38,663 --> 00:31:39,429 PERSONALITY? 905 00:31:39,497 --> 00:31:40,697 >> BELIEVE ME, THERE ARE LOTS OF 906 00:31:40,765 --> 00:31:41,932 WOMEN WHO WOULD SAY, "OH, GOD. 907 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:42,933 THANK GOD HE ISN'T BIG." 908 00:31:43,001 --> 00:31:43,634 >> RIGHT. 909 00:31:43,701 --> 00:31:44,468 >> YOU KNOW? 910 00:31:44,535 --> 00:31:46,303 OR "I PREFER A SMALLER ONE," OR, 911 00:31:46,371 --> 00:31:47,804 "I REALLY LOVE ANAL SEX." 912 00:31:47,872 --> 00:31:49,606 THE HUMAN ANATOMY WILL ALLOW YOU 913 00:31:49,707 --> 00:31:52,109 TO PUT THAT ENTIRE THING INSIDE SOMEBODY. 914 00:31:52,176 --> 00:31:52,843 >> YOUR FIRST? 915 00:31:52,911 --> 00:31:54,011 >> IT'S A WORKSHOP CALLED 916 00:31:54,078 --> 00:31:56,113 FISTING, AND YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO FIST PEOPLE. 917 00:31:56,180 --> 00:31:57,247 OR YOU CAN USE MANY FINGERS. 918 00:31:57,315 --> 00:31:58,882 YOU CAN SUPPLEMENT USING YOUR FINGERS. 919 00:31:58,950 --> 00:31:59,983 YOU CAN SLIDE FINGERS INTO 920 00:32:00,051 --> 00:32:02,085 PEOPLE WHILE YOU'RE ENGAGED IN INTERCOURSE, LIKE SO. 921 00:32:02,153 --> 00:32:03,954 IF I WERE IN YOUR PANTS, SO TO 922 00:32:04,022 --> 00:32:05,856 SPEAK, I WOULD SIMPLY SAY, "YOU 923 00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:07,658 KNOW, I'M REALLY GOOD AT ANAL 924 00:32:07,725 --> 00:32:14,064 SEX, I HAVE A SMALL DICK, AND I LIKE TO LICK THINGS." 925 00:32:14,132 --> 00:32:15,999 >> DO YOU THINK IT MATTERS MORE FOR GUYS OR GIRLS? 926 00:32:16,067 --> 00:32:17,501 >> I THINK IT MATTERS MORE FOR GUYS. 927 00:32:17,568 --> 00:32:18,001 >> YOU DO? 928 00:32:18,069 --> 00:32:19,002 >> IN THE GAY WORLD, YEAH. 929 00:32:19,070 --> 00:32:19,836 >> IN THE GAY WORLD? 930 00:32:19,904 --> 00:32:22,539 >> A BIG DICK IS LIKE BIG TITS. 931 00:32:22,607 --> 00:32:23,607 >> SWEET JESUS. 932 00:32:23,675 --> 00:32:24,675 >> THAT'S GOOD. 933 00:32:24,742 --> 00:32:25,709 >> THAT'S GOOD? 934 00:32:25,810 --> 00:32:27,644 [ DING! ] 935 00:32:27,712 --> 00:32:29,446 >> HONESTLY, HAVING A LOT OF 936 00:32:29,514 --> 00:32:31,348 "STRAIGHT" GIRLFRIENDS WHO HAVE 937 00:32:31,449 --> 00:32:33,417 BOYFRIENDS, THEY ALWAYS COMPLAIN 938 00:32:33,484 --> 00:32:35,953 HOW MEN DO NOT GO DOWN ON THEM ENOUGH. 939 00:32:36,020 --> 00:32:36,887 >> EAT IT. 940 00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:39,089 EAT THAT PUSSY ALL NIGHT LONG. 941 00:32:39,157 --> 00:32:40,824 >> IF YOU HAVE A SMALL PENIS... >> YES. 942 00:32:40,892 --> 00:32:42,759 >> ...TAKE A KNIFE TO YOUR 943 00:32:42,827 --> 00:32:45,062 THROAT AND END IT ALL RIGHT NOW. 944 00:32:45,129 --> 00:32:48,365 >> THAT'S GOOD ADVICE. 945 00:32:48,433 --> 00:32:51,668 ROBERT LAWRENCE SUGGESTED THAT I GO SEE ANNIE SPRINKLE. 946 00:32:51,736 --> 00:32:53,403 SHE'S A FORMER PROSTITUTE AND 947 00:32:53,471 --> 00:32:55,072 PORN STAR, NOT TO MENTION A 948 00:32:55,139 --> 00:32:56,974 WORLD-FAMOUS SEXPERT AND AUTHOR. 949 00:32:57,041 --> 00:32:58,175 SHE HAS SOME NEW-AGE SEXUAL 950 00:32:58,276 --> 00:33:00,143 TECHNIQUES THAT COULD DEFINITELY HELP ME. 951 00:33:00,211 --> 00:33:03,080 HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DOING YOUR RESEARCH? 952 00:33:03,147 --> 00:33:05,882 >> WELL, I WAS A PROSTITUTE FOR 20 YEARS. 953 00:33:05,950 --> 00:33:06,616 >> OKAY. 954 00:33:06,684 --> 00:33:08,418 >> AND THEN I GOT MY PhD IN 955 00:33:08,486 --> 00:33:10,988 HUMAN SEXUALITY, SO I'M A SEXOLOGIST. 956 00:33:11,055 --> 00:33:14,024 AND NOW I'M DOING RESEARCH IN ECO-SEXUALITY. 957 00:33:14,092 --> 00:33:14,424 >> MM-HMM. 958 00:33:14,492 --> 00:33:17,327 >> YOU KNOW, WE COULD THINK OF THE EARTH AS MOTHER. 959 00:33:17,395 --> 00:33:19,830 WITH ECO-SEXUALS, WE THINK EARTH IS LOVER. 960 00:33:19,897 --> 00:33:20,564 >> MM-HMM. 961 00:33:20,631 --> 00:33:25,002 >> SO, WE MAKE LOVE THROUGH THE SENSES. 962 00:33:25,069 --> 00:33:33,076 LAY DOWN ON THE EARTH. 963 00:33:33,078 --> 00:33:34,978 [ CHUCKLES ] 964 00:33:35,079 --> 00:33:38,348 AND JUST KIND OF LIKE... 965 00:33:38,416 --> 00:33:40,951 >> YEAH, THINK OF THE EARTH AS YOUR LOVER. 966 00:33:41,019 --> 00:33:45,655 HOO, HOO, HOO, HOO, HOO. 967 00:33:45,723 --> 00:33:49,393 HAH, HAH -- THE LOW SOUNDS -- AH, AH, AH. 968 00:33:49,460 --> 00:33:50,694 >> Both: AH, AH. 969 00:33:50,762 --> 00:33:52,896 >> AND EEE, EEE! 970 00:33:52,964 --> 00:33:54,031 >> AH! AH! 971 00:33:54,098 --> 00:33:56,967 >> EEE! 972 00:33:57,035 --> 00:33:59,002 YOU'RE A TANTRICA. 973 00:33:59,070 --> 00:34:03,040 YOU ARE TRULY A SEX GURU. 974 00:34:03,107 --> 00:34:04,908 I CAN SEE IT IN YOUR EYES. 975 00:34:04,976 --> 00:34:09,846 YOU ARE JUST... THIS IS SO GREAT YOU'RE ON THIS 976 00:34:09,914 --> 00:34:12,983 PATH 'CAUSE YOU'RE A SEXUALLY GIFTED PERSON. 977 00:34:13,051 --> 00:34:14,651 I CAN SEE THAT. YOU ARE. 978 00:34:14,752 --> 00:34:15,485 >> THANK YOU. 979 00:34:15,553 --> 00:34:17,821 >> YOU ARE. 980 00:34:28,833 --> 00:34:35,439 >> I'M TAKING ANOTHER ONE OF THESE -- EXTENZE. 981 00:34:35,506 --> 00:34:37,040 >> IS THAT NEXIUM? 982 00:34:37,108 --> 00:34:37,641 >> THIS? 983 00:34:37,708 --> 00:34:38,241 >> YEAH. 984 00:34:38,309 --> 00:34:40,143 >> IT'S EXTENZE. 985 00:34:40,211 --> 00:34:41,378 >> [ LAUGHS ] 986 00:34:41,446 --> 00:34:42,079 >> THAT'S IT. 987 00:34:42,146 --> 00:34:43,046 >> WHY YOU LAUGHING? 988 00:34:43,114 --> 00:34:44,815 >> THAT IS THE APPROPRIATE REACTION. 989 00:34:44,882 --> 00:34:45,515 >> [ LAUGHS ] 990 00:34:45,583 --> 00:34:46,183 >> IT'S OKAY. 991 00:34:46,250 --> 00:34:46,983 >> IS IT REALLY? 992 00:34:47,051 --> 00:34:47,717 >> YEAH, IT IS. 993 00:34:47,785 --> 00:34:48,385 >> [ LAUGHS ] 994 00:34:48,453 --> 00:34:50,454 >> WELL, THAT'S WHAT THE DOCUMENTARY IS ABOUT. 995 00:34:50,521 --> 00:34:52,756 >> WHAT WOULD YOU SAY THE AVERAGE SIZE IS FOR A MALE? 996 00:34:52,857 --> 00:34:55,659 DURING? LIKE THAT? 997 00:34:55,726 --> 00:34:56,526 ISH? 998 00:34:56,594 --> 00:34:57,394 >> THAT'S DEPRESSING. 999 00:34:57,462 --> 00:34:59,763 >> [ LAUGHS ] 1000 00:34:59,864 --> 00:35:00,564 >> ALL RIGHT. 1001 00:35:00,631 --> 00:35:01,031 >> UH-OH. 1002 00:35:01,132 --> 00:35:02,265 >> THANK YOU. I KNOW. I KNOW. 1003 00:35:02,333 --> 00:35:02,899 >> [ LAUGHS ] 1004 00:35:02,967 --> 00:35:04,835 [ PUMP SQUEAKING ] 1005 00:35:06,070 --> 00:35:11,441 >> IT'S IN THERE. 1006 00:35:11,609 --> 00:35:14,377 >> I MEAN, PROMISING, POTENTIALLY? 1007 00:35:14,445 --> 00:35:16,413 >> HEY, DUDE, I DON'T KNOW. 1008 00:35:16,481 --> 00:35:18,582 PUT YOUR DICK IN A VACUUM TUBE 1009 00:35:18,683 --> 00:35:22,419 AND TELL ME HOW PROMISING IT FEELS LIKE THINGS ARE. 1010 00:35:22,487 --> 00:35:26,123 IT LOOKS BIGGER RIGHT NOW, BUT WHEN I TAKE IT OFF, IT 1011 00:35:26,190 --> 00:35:28,792 CONSTANTLY JUST GOES BACK TO NORMAL. 1012 00:35:28,860 --> 00:35:29,693 [ SNIFFS ] 1013 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:33,830 SURE, YES, IT'S PROMISING. 1014 00:35:33,898 --> 00:35:37,734 THIS WHOLE SITUATION IS FULL OF PROMISE. 1015 00:35:37,802 --> 00:35:40,604 PUMPING, PILLS, AND JELQING? 1016 00:35:40,671 --> 00:35:43,640 IT SEEMS LIKE THE MORE I TRY, THE LESS RESULTS I SEE. 1017 00:35:43,708 --> 00:35:46,843 PLUS, MY PENIS IS EXHAUSTED RIGHT NOW. 1018 00:35:46,911 --> 00:35:49,212 [ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ] 1019 00:35:52,783 --> 00:35:53,917 HI. 1020 00:35:53,985 --> 00:35:55,318 I WAS TRYING TO GET A LITTLE 1021 00:35:55,419 --> 00:35:57,287 INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR PRODUCT. 1022 00:36:00,791 --> 00:36:02,659 EXTENZE. 1023 00:36:04,896 --> 00:36:08,131 I'VE BEEN TAKING IT FOR ABOUT 30 1024 00:36:08,199 --> 00:36:13,270 DAYS AND NOT REALLY SEEING ANY 1025 00:36:13,337 --> 00:36:16,139 RESULTS OR CHANGES OR ANYTHING. 1026 00:36:30,188 --> 00:36:33,123 IT DOESN'T MAKE IT GROW BY ANY MEANS? 1027 00:36:43,434 --> 00:36:45,168 WHY DID THEY -- WHY WAS I LED TO 1028 00:36:45,236 --> 00:36:49,239 BELIEVE THAT IT WOULD MAKE IT GROW, THEN? 1029 00:36:54,645 --> 00:36:56,313 IT ACTUALLY SAYS, "THE MALE 1030 00:36:56,380 --> 00:36:58,215 ENHANCEMENT PILL THAT CAN MAKE 1031 00:36:58,282 --> 00:37:03,853 YOU LARGER," AND IT STAYS "LARGER" IN BIG, RED LETTERS. 1032 00:37:03,921 --> 00:37:06,156 BUT THEY CHOOSE NOT TO MARKET IT LIKE THAT. 1033 00:37:06,224 --> 00:37:08,491 THAT'S SUCH GARBAGE. 1034 00:37:17,101 --> 00:37:18,735 >> HERE ARE TWO VARIANTS. 1035 00:37:18,803 --> 00:37:20,670 THEY'RE NOT NECESSARILY SUPER 1036 00:37:20,738 --> 00:37:22,672 LONG BECAUSE THERE REALLY IS A 1037 00:37:22,740 --> 00:37:24,641 VARIANT OF WOMAN COMING IN TO 1038 00:37:24,709 --> 00:37:28,144 BUY A DILDO, GOING, "I DON'T WANT IT TO BE TOO LONG. 1039 00:37:28,312 --> 00:37:30,614 THAT BOUNCES INTO MY CERVIX -- NOT SO FUN." 1040 00:37:30,681 --> 00:37:32,249 SOME WOMEN LIKE THAT SENSATION. 1041 00:37:32,316 --> 00:37:33,617 MANY WOMEN DON'T LIKE IT. 1042 00:37:33,684 --> 00:37:35,151 THIS, FOR EXAMPLE -- A LITTLE 1043 00:37:35,219 --> 00:37:36,553 LONGER THAN THOSE -- HAS A 1044 00:37:36,621 --> 00:37:38,255 REALLY PRONOUNCED CORONAL RIDGE. 1045 00:37:38,322 --> 00:37:38,922 >> MM-HMM. 1046 00:37:38,990 --> 00:37:41,825 >> IF THERE'S A PRETTY PRONOUNCED RIDGE THERE, THIS ALL 1047 00:37:41,892 --> 00:37:43,460 BY ITSELF IS SORT OF A PLEASURE 1048 00:37:43,527 --> 00:37:45,929 MAKER FOR SOME WOMEN, PARTICULARLY FOR G-SPOT 1049 00:37:45,997 --> 00:37:46,696 STIMULATION. 1050 00:37:46,764 --> 00:37:49,466 >> YOU SAID THAT A LOT OF MEN COME IN HERE NOW. 1051 00:37:49,533 --> 00:37:51,534 IS THIS KIND OF A COMMON PROBLEM? 1052 00:37:51,602 --> 00:37:53,103 >> WE USED TO CARRY A SUCTION 1053 00:37:53,170 --> 00:37:54,738 PUMP, AND WE HAD TO ALWAYS WARN 1054 00:37:54,805 --> 00:37:56,439 GUYS AWAY FROM USING IT TOO MUCH 1055 00:37:56,507 --> 00:37:57,974 BECAUSE YOU CAN DO PERMANENT 1056 00:37:58,042 --> 00:37:59,943 DAMAGE TO YOUR PENIS USING A PUMP. 1057 00:38:00,011 --> 00:38:02,379 NOT SO GOOD, REALLY CAN CAUSE 1058 00:38:02,446 --> 00:38:04,714 ACTUAL SCARRING INSIDE THE PENIS. 1059 00:38:04,782 --> 00:38:06,683 SOME GUYS FIND THAT THEY, OVER 1060 00:38:06,751 --> 00:38:08,685 TIME, PUMP A LOT AND GET SOFTER 1061 00:38:08,753 --> 00:38:11,955 AND SOFTER AND SOFTER ERECTIONS, WHICH IS PROBABLY 1062 00:38:12,023 --> 00:38:13,189 COUNTERINTUITIVE. 1063 00:38:13,257 --> 00:38:15,058 FOR STARTERS, THE PENIS IS NOT A MUSCLE. 1064 00:38:15,126 --> 00:38:15,725 >> IT'S NOT? 1065 00:38:15,793 --> 00:38:17,027 >> NO. IT'S GOT SOME MUSCLES. 1066 00:38:17,094 --> 00:38:18,094 BUT IT ISN'T A MUSCLE. 1067 00:38:18,162 --> 00:38:19,329 I MEAN, WE CALL IT THE LOVE 1068 00:38:19,397 --> 00:38:21,364 MUSCLE, MUSCLE OF LOVE, MUSCLE OF WHATEVER. 1069 00:38:21,432 --> 00:38:22,432 NO, IT'S NOT A MUSCLE. 1070 00:38:22,500 --> 00:38:23,500 >> RIGHT. 1071 00:38:23,567 --> 00:38:26,303 THERE WAS ANOTHER METHOD THAT WE 1072 00:38:26,370 --> 00:38:30,807 CAME ACROSS FOR ENLARGEMENT THAT'S CALLED JELQING. 1073 00:38:30,875 --> 00:38:33,810 >> WHAT CONCERNS ME ABOUT THAT 1074 00:38:33,878 --> 00:38:36,780 KIND OF A PROCEDURE IS THAT IF 1075 00:38:36,847 --> 00:38:41,584 YOU PULL THE LIGAMENTS TOO MUCH, 1076 00:38:41,652 --> 00:38:43,720 YOU'D RUN SOME RISK OF A REBOUND 1077 00:38:43,788 --> 00:38:47,023 EFFECT, LIKE A "RUBBER BAND COMING BACK" EFFECT. 1078 00:38:47,091 --> 00:38:48,491 >> SO, YOU'D STRETCH IT OUT, AND 1079 00:38:48,559 --> 00:38:50,293 YOU COULD POSSIBLY SHRINK YOUR PENIS. 1080 00:38:50,361 --> 00:38:51,328 >> THAT WOULD BE MY CONCERN. 1081 00:38:51,395 --> 00:38:55,198 >> THAT WOULD BE AWFUL. 1082 00:38:55,266 --> 00:38:57,367 APPARENTLY, I'M NOT THE FIRST TO 1083 00:38:57,435 --> 00:39:01,004 FIND OUT THAT ENLARGEMENT PRODUCTS CAN BE MISLEADING. 1084 00:39:01,072 --> 00:39:03,106 IN 2010, EXTENZE HAD TO PAY OUT 1085 00:39:03,174 --> 00:39:06,309 $6 MILLION IN A LAWSUIT FOR FALSE ADVERTISING. 1086 00:39:06,377 --> 00:39:09,913 I'VE TRIED THE BEST METHODS AVAILABLE IN THE U.S. -- 1087 00:39:09,980 --> 00:39:13,683 PUMPING, PILLS, AND JELQING. 1088 00:39:13,751 --> 00:39:15,919 BUT THEY WERE ALL A TOTAL BUST. 1089 00:39:15,986 --> 00:39:18,154 BUT IT'S A BIG WORLD OUT THERE. 1090 00:39:18,222 --> 00:39:20,156 IT'S TIME I TAKE THIS JOURNEY INTERNATIONAL. 1091 00:39:20,224 --> 00:39:21,691 PASSPORT. 1092 00:39:21,759 --> 00:39:23,927 THAT'S HOT STUFF. 1093 00:39:23,994 --> 00:39:26,930 MALARONE -- IT'S MALARIA PILLS. 1094 00:39:27,031 --> 00:39:30,667 ONE PIECE GOT TO HAVE -- HAWAIIAN SHIRT -- INDICATES 1095 00:39:30,735 --> 00:39:32,435 TO POSSIBLE THIEVES THAT I'M 1096 00:39:32,503 --> 00:39:34,971 TRAVELING AND PROBABLY GOT MONEY ON ME. 1097 00:39:35,039 --> 00:39:37,073 MAN'S OBSESSION WITH HIS SCHLONG 1098 00:39:37,141 --> 00:39:39,142 HAS BEEN PRETTY WELL DOCUMENTED 1099 00:39:39,210 --> 00:39:40,844 THROUGHOUT HUMAN HISTORY. 1100 00:39:40,911 --> 00:39:42,946 THE ANCIENT EGYPTIANS HAD A GOD, 1101 00:39:43,013 --> 00:39:44,881 OSIRIS, WITH A GOLDEN WIENER. 1102 00:39:44,949 --> 00:39:46,783 THE ANCIENT GREEKS HAD PRIAPUS, 1103 00:39:46,851 --> 00:39:49,753 A FERTILITY GOD WHOSE PENIS WAS BIGGER THAN HIM. 1104 00:39:49,820 --> 00:39:51,554 THE 2,000-YEAR-OLD "KAMA SUTRA" 1105 00:39:51,622 --> 00:39:53,390 ILLUSTRATED HOW TO GET THE MOST 1106 00:39:53,457 --> 00:39:54,991 PLEASURE OUT OF YOUR PENIS. 1107 00:39:55,059 --> 00:39:56,826 AND IN KOMAKI, JAPAN, THEY'VE 1108 00:39:56,894 --> 00:40:00,463 HAD PENIS FESTIVALS FOR THE LAST 1,500 YEARS. 1109 00:40:00,531 --> 00:40:02,499 IN 16th-CENTURY EUROPE, IT WAS 1110 00:40:02,566 --> 00:40:06,369 CONSIDERED COOL TO DANGLE YOUR DONG. 1111 00:40:06,437 --> 00:40:08,071 BUT IT WAS IN 1948 WHEN THE 1112 00:40:08,139 --> 00:40:09,839 FATHER OF AMERICAN SEXOLOGY, 1113 00:40:09,907 --> 00:40:11,574 ALFRED KINSEY, PUBLISHED THE 1114 00:40:11,642 --> 00:40:14,377 FIRST COMPREHENSIVE STUDY OF PENIS SIZE. 1115 00:40:14,445 --> 00:40:16,312 SINCE THEN, KINSEY'S PENIS-SIZE 1116 00:40:16,380 --> 00:40:18,581 STATISTICS HAVE SET THE STANDARD. 1117 00:40:18,649 --> 00:40:20,183 BUT THE KINSEY REPORT WAS 1118 00:40:20,251 --> 00:40:22,185 SELF-REPORTING, WHICH MEANS THAT 1119 00:40:22,253 --> 00:40:25,588 MEN MEASURED THEIR OWN PENISES AND SENT IN THEIR SIZE. 1120 00:40:25,656 --> 00:40:29,759 DO I THINK THAT THEY WERE BEING HONEST? 1121 00:40:29,827 --> 00:40:31,528 PROBABLY NOT. 1122 00:40:31,595 --> 00:40:33,797 SO, WE'RE HEADING TO MALAYSIA TO 1123 00:40:33,864 --> 00:40:35,799 MEET A TRUE SIZE EXPERT, AN 1124 00:40:35,866 --> 00:40:42,605 INTERNATIONAL CONDOM MAKER NAMED KLAUS RICHTER. 1125 00:40:42,673 --> 00:40:43,072 KLAUS. 1126 00:40:43,140 --> 00:40:44,407 >> OH, HI. YOU'RE PATRICK? 1127 00:40:44,475 --> 00:40:44,941 >> YES. 1128 00:40:45,009 --> 00:40:46,276 >> WELCOME TO OUR FACTORY. 1129 00:40:46,343 --> 00:40:47,277 >> YEAH, THANK YOU. 1130 00:40:47,344 --> 00:40:48,411 THANKS FOR HAVING ME. 1131 00:40:48,479 --> 00:40:49,879 >> HAVE A HAT. 1132 00:40:49,947 --> 00:40:53,683 >> A HAT, A GIFT -- RICHTER RUBBER TECHNOLOGIES. 1133 00:40:59,089 --> 00:41:01,157 HOW MANY CONDOMS DO YOU MAKE A DAY? 1134 00:41:01,225 --> 00:41:02,759 >> A DAY, WE MAKE A MILLION. 1135 00:41:02,827 --> 00:41:03,893 >> A MILLION? 1136 00:41:03,961 --> 00:41:06,429 >> IT MEASURES THE VOLUME GOING 1137 00:41:06,497 --> 00:41:08,665 IN AND THE PRESSURE INSIDE. 1138 00:41:08,732 --> 00:41:09,566 >> MM-HMM. 1139 00:41:09,633 --> 00:41:12,735 >> AND SEE, THIS IS THE STANDARD FORMAT, 55 BY 55. 1140 00:41:12,803 --> 00:41:14,571 >> SO, WHEN I BUY A CONDOM AT 1141 00:41:14,638 --> 00:41:17,140 THE STORE, THIS IS THE SIZE THAT I GET. 1142 00:41:17,208 --> 00:41:17,941 >> DEPENDS. 1143 00:41:18,008 --> 00:41:21,144 IF YOU BUY IT IN THAILAND, FOR EXAMPLE -- >> UH-HUH. 1144 00:41:21,212 --> 00:41:22,912 >> WESTERNERS HAVE BIG PROBLEMS 1145 00:41:22,980 --> 00:41:27,550 'CAUSE THE SIZES ARE -- IT'S VERY CRAZY. 1146 00:41:27,618 --> 00:41:30,353 >> HOW BIG IS BELOW AVERAGE? 1147 00:41:30,421 --> 00:41:33,022 >> THEY SAY ASIAN CONDOMS NEED 1148 00:41:33,090 --> 00:41:35,825 TO BE 49 MILLIMETER, FLAT WIDTH. 1149 00:41:35,893 --> 00:41:37,894 AND ACTUALLY, IN GERMANY, WE 1150 00:41:37,962 --> 00:41:40,597 ALWAYS HAD A STANDARD OF 51 OR 52. 1151 00:41:40,664 --> 00:41:45,068 AFRICAN SIZE, A LITTLE BIT BIGGER, IS 53, 54. 1152 00:41:45,135 --> 00:41:46,603 >> AND WHAT ABOUT THE LENGTH? 1153 00:41:46,670 --> 00:41:48,204 >> OKAY, THE LENGTH OF A CONDOM 1154 00:41:48,272 --> 00:41:50,740 DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE PENIS SIZE. 1155 00:41:50,808 --> 00:41:53,676 BECAUSE THE CONDOM IS DEFINITELY LONGER THAN THE USE. 1156 00:41:53,744 --> 00:41:54,677 >> RIGHT, RIGHT. 1157 00:41:54,745 --> 00:41:55,345 >> RIGHT? 1158 00:41:55,412 --> 00:42:00,183 WE ARE THE ONLY COMPANY DEFINITELY WHO MAKE ALL SIZES. 1159 00:42:00,251 --> 00:42:01,484 SO, WE HAVE, ALTOGETHER AT THE 1160 00:42:01,552 --> 00:42:05,722 MOMENT, 55 DIFFERENT SIZES... >> 55 DIFFERENT SIZES. 1161 00:42:05,789 --> 00:42:08,091 >> ...MEASURED OVER LENGTH AND WIDTH. 1162 00:42:08,158 --> 00:42:08,658 >> MM-HMM. 1163 00:42:08,726 --> 00:42:10,026 KLAUS OFFERS TO HELP ME MEASURE 1164 00:42:10,094 --> 00:42:12,428 MY CONDOM SIZE SO THAT I CAN DETERMINE HOW I MEASURE UP 1165 00:42:12,496 --> 00:42:13,763 AGAINST THE REST OF THE WORLD. 1166 00:42:13,831 --> 00:42:16,633 >> THE LENGTH -- WE HAVE TO SEE, OKAY, HOW LONG, RIGHT? 1167 00:42:16,700 --> 00:42:17,867 >> SAY, THERE? 1168 00:42:17,935 --> 00:42:21,004 SO, THEN WE PLACE THIS AGAINST THE SKIN. 1169 00:42:21,071 --> 00:42:23,306 61, WHICH IS THE SHORTEST. 1170 00:42:23,374 --> 00:42:26,509 >> YEAH. SO, NOT SO SHORT. 1171 00:42:26,577 --> 00:42:30,413 >> NO, IT'S NOT TOO SHORT. 1172 00:42:30,481 --> 00:42:31,214 THE GIRTH? 1173 00:42:31,282 --> 00:42:33,383 >> YEAH, YEAH, YOU BECOME AN "M." 1174 00:42:33,450 --> 00:42:34,951 "M" IS HERE, 49. 1175 00:42:35,019 --> 00:42:35,785 >> 49. 1176 00:42:35,853 --> 00:42:37,887 >> ASIAN SIZE! 1177 00:42:45,095 --> 00:42:46,629 >> KOREANS HAVE, ON AVERAGE, THE 1178 00:42:46,730 --> 00:42:48,231 SMALLEST PENISES ON THE PLANET. 1179 00:42:48,299 --> 00:42:52,335 I WANT TO SEE HOW THEY DEAL WITH THEIR SMALL SIZE. 1180 00:42:52,403 --> 00:42:54,804 BUT I DISCOVERED SOMETHING PRETTY UNEXPECTED. 1181 00:42:54,872 --> 00:42:57,707 ALTHOUGH KOREANS HAVE THE SMALLEST DICKS IN THE WORLD, 1182 00:42:57,775 --> 00:43:01,244 THEY HAVE THE LARGEST DICK STATUES. 1183 00:43:14,725 --> 00:43:17,260 ON AVERAGE, KOREAN MEN ARE THE SMALLEST. 1184 00:43:17,328 --> 00:43:20,697 IS THAT SOMETHING THAT KOREAN WOMEN TALK ABOUT? 1185 00:43:40,584 --> 00:43:42,452 LOOK AT THIS GUY. 1186 00:43:55,299 --> 00:43:59,102 YEAH! 1187 00:43:59,169 --> 00:44:03,306 GET A WIDE SHOT, SOAK IT ALL IN. 1188 00:44:03,374 --> 00:44:04,073 HELLO! 1189 00:44:04,141 --> 00:44:05,008 >> HELLO! 1190 00:44:05,075 --> 00:44:05,775 >> HI. 1191 00:44:05,843 --> 00:44:07,877 THERE IS SO MUCH DICK IN THIS 1192 00:44:07,945 --> 00:44:11,014 COUNTRY, THEY'VE GOT TO HAVE SOME ANSWERS. 1193 00:44:11,081 --> 00:44:14,450 OTHERWISE, WHAT'S WITH ALL THE DICK? 1194 00:44:36,573 --> 00:44:38,641 I MAY BE SMALL, BUT COMPARED TO 1195 00:44:38,709 --> 00:44:40,410 A KOREAN, MAYBE I'M HUGE. 1196 00:44:40,477 --> 00:44:42,412 I'M GOING TO SEEK SOME ADVICE 1197 00:44:42,479 --> 00:44:45,481 FROM A CLASS OF KOREAN UNIVERSITY STUDENTS. 1198 00:44:45,549 --> 00:44:47,383 I PROPOSED MARRIAGE, AND SHE 1199 00:44:47,451 --> 00:44:50,920 SAID NO BECAUSE SHE SAID THAT MY PENIS IS TOO SMALL. 1200 00:44:50,988 --> 00:44:51,888 [ LAUGHTER ] 1201 00:44:51,955 --> 00:44:55,091 BECAUSE I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT MY SIZE, REALLY. 1202 00:44:55,159 --> 00:44:57,160 I MEAN, I THOUGHT ABOUT IT, AND 1203 00:44:57,227 --> 00:44:59,295 I HAD ALWAYS BEEN LIKE, "MAN, IT 1204 00:44:59,363 --> 00:45:03,199 WOULD BE SUPER COOL IF I HAD, LIKE, A GIANT ONE. 1205 00:45:11,909 --> 00:45:13,810 I'M ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT MY 1206 00:45:13,877 --> 00:45:17,547 PENIS NOW, AND I'M THINKING THAT EVERY TIME I'VE HAD A 1207 00:45:17,614 --> 00:45:19,749 RELATIONSHIP WITH A WOMAN AND IT 1208 00:45:19,817 --> 00:45:21,651 HASN'T WORKED, IT'S BECAUSE 1209 00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:25,388 SHE'S THINKING, "OH, HIS PENIS IS A LITTLE TOO SMALL." 1210 00:45:25,456 --> 00:45:27,390 [ LAUGHTER ] 1211 00:45:32,563 --> 00:45:33,129 [ LAUGHTER ] 1212 00:45:33,197 --> 00:45:34,630 GET MY CONFIDENCE BACK? 1213 00:45:34,698 --> 00:45:35,164 YEAH? 1214 00:45:35,232 --> 00:45:38,868 IS THAT A GOOD PLACE TO BOOST YOUR EGO? 1215 00:45:38,936 --> 00:45:41,137 OKAY. THAT'S GOOD ADVICE. 1216 00:46:03,494 --> 00:46:05,027 >> HEY! HEY! 1217 00:46:05,095 --> 00:46:05,795 >> NO! NO! 1218 00:46:05,863 --> 00:46:10,600 >> [ SHOUTING IN KOREAN ] 1219 00:46:10,667 --> 00:46:13,102 >> NO, NO, NO! 1220 00:46:13,170 --> 00:46:14,103 NO! 1221 00:46:14,171 --> 00:46:15,972 NO! NO! NO! STOP! 1222 00:46:16,039 --> 00:46:18,007 [ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ] 1223 00:46:23,714 --> 00:46:26,816 HEY! 1224 00:46:26,884 --> 00:46:29,652 [ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ] 1225 00:46:29,720 --> 00:46:31,888 OKAY, SO, NOBODY LIKES HAVING 1226 00:46:31,955 --> 00:46:34,357 THEIR PENIS SECRETLY FILMED. 1227 00:46:34,424 --> 00:46:36,559 AND I MAY HAVE BROKEN SEVERAL LAWS. 1228 00:46:36,627 --> 00:46:38,327 SO, FOR NOW, I'M GONNA GET OUT 1229 00:46:38,395 --> 00:46:40,696 OF KOREA AND CHECK OUT TAIPEI, TAIWAN. 1230 00:46:40,764 --> 00:46:43,833 TAIPEI IS A CITY RICH WITH HISTORY AND TRADITION. 1231 00:46:43,901 --> 00:46:45,501 AMONG THESE TRADITIONS ARE 1232 00:46:45,569 --> 00:46:49,272 SEVERAL ANCIENT METHODS FOR MALE ENHANCEMENT. 1233 00:46:49,339 --> 00:46:50,940 SO, I'M GOING TO SNAKE ALLEY, 1234 00:46:51,008 --> 00:46:54,677 WHERE THEY TRADE IN TRADITIONAL CHINESE MEDICINE. 1235 00:47:01,485 --> 00:47:03,386 TRY A LITTLE BIT OF SNAKE. 1236 00:47:07,090 --> 00:47:08,324 THERE'S BONES IN IT. 1237 00:47:08,392 --> 00:47:09,192 OW! 1238 00:47:09,259 --> 00:47:11,093 MMM. 1239 00:47:11,161 --> 00:47:13,396 OH, TURTLES! 1240 00:47:13,463 --> 00:47:14,363 WHOA. 1241 00:47:14,431 --> 00:47:16,332 LOOK AT THOSE DEAD TURTLE HEADS. 1242 00:47:22,206 --> 00:47:24,073 GOD! 1243 00:47:26,210 --> 00:47:28,845 [ LAUGHTER ] 1244 00:47:28,912 --> 00:47:30,479 THAT THING'S LIKE 13" LONG. 1245 00:47:30,547 --> 00:47:32,515 HERE WE GO. 1246 00:47:35,953 --> 00:47:36,586 THAT'S NOT BAD. 1247 00:47:36,653 --> 00:47:40,189 THAT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD, YEAH. 1248 00:47:40,257 --> 00:47:43,226 OKAY. DOWN THE HATCH. 1249 00:47:51,101 --> 00:47:55,037 IT'S LIKE A CHERRY TOMATO FULL OF BALLS. 1250 00:47:55,105 --> 00:47:56,973 UGH. 1251 00:47:59,943 --> 00:48:00,810 I HAVE NO IDEA, DUDE. 1252 00:48:00,878 --> 00:48:03,412 [ CHUCKLES ] 1253 00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:08,484 UGH. 1254 00:48:08,552 --> 00:48:10,086 AFTER EATING ROOSTER TESTICLES 1255 00:48:10,153 --> 00:48:11,754 IN SNAKE ALLEY, I NEED A DRINK. 1256 00:48:11,822 --> 00:48:13,222 I FOUND A BAR WHERE A LOCAL 1257 00:48:13,290 --> 00:48:16,025 TAIWANESE GIRL WAS WILLING TO TALK TO ME ABOUT SIZE. 1258 00:48:16,093 --> 00:48:16,959 >> AH. SIZE? 1259 00:48:17,027 --> 00:48:17,793 >> UH-HUH. 1260 00:48:17,861 --> 00:48:18,461 >> OKAY. 1261 00:48:18,528 --> 00:48:19,362 >> THE SIZE. 1262 00:48:19,429 --> 00:48:22,965 >> AH, WELL, I HAVE TO SAY, I'M A BIT SHY SOMETIMES. 1263 00:48:23,033 --> 00:48:24,100 >> YEAH. YEAH. 1264 00:48:24,167 --> 00:48:27,670 DO, LIKE, A LOT OF AMERICAN GUYS, LIKE, HIT ON YOU? 1265 00:48:27,738 --> 00:48:28,004 NO? 1266 00:48:28,071 --> 00:48:29,906 I FIND THAT INCREDIBLY HARD TO BELIEVE. 1267 00:48:29,973 --> 00:48:30,640 >> NO, NO, NO. 1268 00:48:30,707 --> 00:48:33,843 >> DO YOU THINK THEY'RE, LIKE, ATTRACTIVE? 1269 00:48:33,911 --> 00:48:34,377 YOU DON'T? 1270 00:48:34,444 --> 00:48:36,279 YOU DON'T THINK AMERICAN MEN ARE ATTRACTIVE? 1271 00:48:36,346 --> 00:48:36,846 DAMN IT! 1272 00:48:36,914 --> 00:48:38,781 WHO DO YOU FIND THE MOST ATTRACTIVE? 1273 00:48:38,849 --> 00:48:40,049 LIKE, WHAT KIND OF GUYS? 1274 00:48:40,117 --> 00:48:41,584 LIKE, ASIAN GUYS OR...? 1275 00:48:41,652 --> 00:48:43,119 >> I PREFER BLACK GUYS. 1276 00:48:43,186 --> 00:48:44,787 >> YOU PREFER BLACK GUYS? 1277 00:48:44,855 --> 00:48:45,488 >> YEAH. 1278 00:48:45,555 --> 00:48:47,523 >> DO YOU LIKE THE BIGGER PENIS? 1279 00:48:47,591 --> 00:48:48,291 IS THAT...? 1280 00:48:48,358 --> 00:48:48,824 >> NO. 1281 00:48:48,892 --> 00:48:51,327 FIRST OF ALL, YOU HAVE TO LIKE THIS PERSON. 1282 00:48:51,395 --> 00:48:52,361 >> RIGHT, RIGHT. 1283 00:48:52,429 --> 00:48:54,096 >> THEN YOU WILL SEE HIS PENIS, 1284 00:48:54,164 --> 00:48:55,831 AND IT'S SOMETHING LIKE A GIFT. 1285 00:48:55,899 --> 00:48:57,033 >> IT'S LIKE A GIFT. 1286 00:48:57,100 --> 00:48:58,534 >> YEAH, YOU OPEN YOUR GIFTS, 1287 00:48:58,602 --> 00:49:00,937 AND SOMETIMES IT'S "OOH!" AND SOMETIMES "AH." 1288 00:49:01,004 --> 00:49:01,637 >> [ LAUGHS ] 1289 00:49:01,705 --> 00:49:03,973 >> BUT YOU STILL HAVE TO PRETEND THAT IT'S, "WOW!" 1290 00:49:04,041 --> 00:49:04,941 >> RIGHT, RIGHT. 1291 00:49:05,008 --> 00:49:06,342 >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 1292 00:49:06,410 --> 00:49:08,044 >> DID YOU KNOW THAT A 500-POUND 1293 00:49:08,111 --> 00:49:11,881 SILVERBACK GORILLA HAS A 3-CENTIMETER PENIS, WHEREAS 1294 00:49:11,949 --> 00:49:14,583 HUMANS HAVE A 13-CENTIMETER PENIS? 1295 00:49:14,651 --> 00:49:15,985 [ SLOOP! ] 1296 00:49:16,053 --> 00:49:19,288 THIS IS DUE TO A PHENOMENON SCIENTISTS CALL SEXUAL 1297 00:49:19,356 --> 00:49:20,122 SELECTION. 1298 00:49:20,190 --> 00:49:23,659 HUMAN FEMALES TEND TO PREFER MATES WITH BIGGER PENISES. 1299 00:49:23,727 --> 00:49:25,628 SO, OVER TIME, THE HUMAN PENIS 1300 00:49:25,696 --> 00:49:28,798 HAS EVOLVED TO A SIZE WAY BIGGER THAN NECESSARY. 1301 00:49:28,865 --> 00:49:29,966 [ DING! ] 1302 00:49:30,033 --> 00:49:31,567 AND THAT'S MY PROBLEM -- NO 1303 00:49:31,635 --> 00:49:33,369 WOMAN WILL EVER CHOOSE ME OVER A 1304 00:49:33,437 --> 00:49:34,770 GUY WITH A BIGGER DICK. 1305 00:49:34,838 --> 00:49:36,272 IT'S HUMAN NATURE. 1306 00:49:36,340 --> 00:49:38,507 SO, TODAY I'M MORE DETERMINED 1307 00:49:38,575 --> 00:49:41,744 THAN EVER TO FIND A CURE FOR MY PROBLEM. 1308 00:49:41,812 --> 00:49:43,646 I THINK THIS IS IT. 1309 00:49:43,714 --> 00:49:45,681 THIS IS MASTER TU'S STUDIO. 1310 00:49:45,749 --> 00:49:47,149 HI. MASTER TU? 1311 00:49:47,217 --> 00:49:47,683 >> YEAH. 1312 00:49:47,751 --> 00:49:49,118 >> YEAH. I'M PATRICK. 1313 00:49:49,186 --> 00:49:50,019 >> HI. HOW ARE YOU? 1314 00:49:50,087 --> 00:49:50,653 >> THANK YOU. 1315 00:49:50,721 --> 00:49:52,321 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MEETING WITH ME. 1316 00:49:52,389 --> 00:49:54,991 WHAT EXACTLY IS IT THAT YOU GUYS PRACTICE HERE? 1317 00:49:55,058 --> 00:49:56,625 AND WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS THAT 1318 00:49:56,693 --> 00:49:59,362 SOMEONE CAN GET FROM DOING THESE THINGS? 1319 00:50:10,807 --> 00:50:12,274 MASTER TU LEARNED THE ANCIENT 1320 00:50:12,342 --> 00:50:13,843 METHOD OF PENIS WEIGHT HANGING 1321 00:50:13,910 --> 00:50:15,478 THROUGH HIS FATHER'S TEACHINGS. 1322 00:50:15,545 --> 00:50:16,946 BY LIFTING WEIGHTS WITH YOUR 1323 00:50:17,014 --> 00:50:18,581 PENIS, YOU INCREASE YOUR BODY'S 1324 00:50:18,648 --> 00:50:20,249 NATURAL ENERGY AND PENIS LENGTH. 1325 00:50:20,317 --> 00:50:23,819 SO, IT ACTUALLY DOES INCREASE YOUR SIZE? 1326 00:50:24,788 --> 00:50:26,188 SO, IF I WERE TO TRY IT FOR MY 1327 00:50:26,256 --> 00:50:29,191 FIRST TIME, IT WOULD BE JUST VERY SMALL AMOUNT. 1328 00:50:29,359 --> 00:50:32,461 LIKE THIS. THIS SIZE? 1329 00:50:32,529 --> 00:50:35,031 THAT'S -- THIS IS PRETTY -- 1330 00:50:42,572 --> 00:50:44,440 MASTER TU IS GONNA START ME OUT 1331 00:50:44,508 --> 00:50:46,475 WITH A 5-POUND LIFT, BUT FIRST I 1332 00:50:46,543 --> 00:50:47,977 NEED TO WARM UP MY CHI. 1333 00:50:48,045 --> 00:50:49,512 SO, MASTER TU AND HIS ASSISTANT 1334 00:50:49,579 --> 00:50:50,946 TAKE ME THROUGH THE PROCESS. 1335 00:50:51,014 --> 00:50:52,415 >> RUB. RUB. RUB. 1336 00:50:52,516 --> 00:50:55,384 >> RUB? RUB? 1337 00:50:55,452 --> 00:50:57,486 NOW I SLAP IT? 1338 00:51:05,262 --> 00:51:06,429 >> [ SPEAKING CHINESE ] 1339 00:51:06,496 --> 00:51:08,330 >> [ SPEAKING CHINESE ] 1340 00:51:08,432 --> 00:51:09,565 >> HOW I SHOULD TIE IT? 1341 00:51:09,633 --> 00:51:11,667 OKAY. 1342 00:51:16,673 --> 00:51:19,175 OKAY! 1343 00:51:19,242 --> 00:51:23,813 [ Chuckling ] YEAH. 1344 00:51:23,880 --> 00:51:25,381 OH, MAN. 1345 00:51:25,449 --> 00:51:27,683 OH, MAN. 1346 00:51:27,751 --> 00:51:30,419 [ EXHALES SHARPLY ] 1347 00:51:30,487 --> 00:51:32,588 [ BREATHING DEEPLY ] 1348 00:51:42,899 --> 00:51:43,966 >> STAND. STAND. 1349 00:51:44,034 --> 00:51:45,501 >> ALL THE WAY UP? 1350 00:51:45,569 --> 00:51:48,037 >> [ SPEAKING CHINESE ] 1351 00:51:48,105 --> 00:51:48,938 >> SWING? 1352 00:51:49,005 --> 00:51:51,073 >> ROCK A LITTLE BIT. 1353 00:51:51,141 --> 00:51:53,008 >> [ EXHALES SHARPLY ] 1354 00:51:53,076 --> 00:51:55,044 I'M CRAZY. 1355 00:51:55,112 --> 00:51:56,345 I AM CRAZY. 1356 00:51:56,446 --> 00:51:57,146 >> HOW'S IT FEEL? 1357 00:51:57,214 --> 00:51:59,115 >> FEELS ALL RIGHT. 1358 00:51:59,182 --> 00:52:01,250 [ BREATHING DEEPLY ] 1359 00:52:06,590 --> 00:52:08,657 THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING. 1360 00:52:08,725 --> 00:52:10,392 THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING. 1361 00:52:10,460 --> 00:52:13,062 [ BREATHING DEEPLY ] 1362 00:52:13,130 --> 00:52:16,966 >> [ SPEAKING CHINESE ] 1363 00:52:17,033 --> 00:52:19,768 >> YEAH. YEAH. 1364 00:52:19,836 --> 00:52:24,607 [ EXHALES SHARPLY ] 1365 00:52:24,674 --> 00:52:26,275 AH. 1366 00:52:26,343 --> 00:52:27,576 >> [ SPEAKING CHINESE ] 1367 00:52:27,644 --> 00:52:28,944 >> HE SAID, OKAY, BESIDES, THE 1368 00:52:29,012 --> 00:52:30,212 PAIN DOWN THERE, DO YOU FEEL 1369 00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:32,248 LIKE YOUR WHOLE BODY'S BEEN RE-INVIGORATED? 1370 00:52:32,315 --> 00:52:33,649 >> I FEEL LIKE VERY LIGHT, LIKE 1371 00:52:33,717 --> 00:52:36,152 VERY, UH -- ALSO VERY SWEATY. 1372 00:52:36,219 --> 00:52:37,153 >> [ SPEAKING CHINESE ] 1373 00:52:37,220 --> 00:52:38,654 >> HE SAID THAT'S THE HORMONES KICKING IN. 1374 00:52:38,722 --> 00:52:39,955 >> THAT'S THE HORMONES KICKING IN? 1375 00:52:40,023 --> 00:52:41,891 I CAN FEEL IT WORKING. 1376 00:52:44,294 --> 00:52:46,795 >> THEY'RE ABOUT READY. 1377 00:52:46,997 --> 00:52:49,865 [ CONVERSING IN CHINESE ] 1378 00:52:49,933 --> 00:52:51,267 >> HOW MUCH IS THIS? 1379 00:52:51,334 --> 00:52:53,169 >> THAT'S 20 KILOGRAMS. 1380 00:52:53,236 --> 00:52:54,970 SO, IT'S CLOSE TO 350. 1381 00:52:55,038 --> 00:52:57,406 >> CLOSE TO 350 POUNDS. 1382 00:52:57,474 --> 00:52:59,708 [ CONVERSING IN CHINESE ] 1383 00:53:14,157 --> 00:53:14,356 [ APPLAUSE ] 1384 00:53:16,893 --> 00:53:18,861 THAT'S -- THAT IS AMAZING. 1385 00:53:18,929 --> 00:53:21,564 THAT -- >> [ SPEAKING CHINESE ] 1386 00:53:21,631 --> 00:53:23,532 >> THAT IS AMAZING. 1387 00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:25,067 WOW. 1388 00:53:25,135 --> 00:53:26,502 >> [ SPEAKING CHINESE ] 1389 00:53:26,570 --> 00:53:28,704 >> THIS GUY HAS GOT TO BE HUGE. 1390 00:53:39,015 --> 00:53:41,850 WHILE WEIGHT-HANGING SEEMED PROMISING, THAT GUY'S JUNK 1391 00:53:41,918 --> 00:53:43,519 DIDN'T LOOK TOO GREAT, AND MINE 1392 00:53:43,587 --> 00:53:46,755 KIND OF FEELS LIKE A PAIR OF OLD SHOELACES. 1393 00:53:46,823 --> 00:53:47,556 WHOA! 1394 00:53:47,624 --> 00:53:48,857 HEY, FUCKER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1395 00:53:48,925 --> 00:53:51,727 DON'T... BUT THERE'S STILL HOPE. 1396 00:53:51,795 --> 00:53:55,297 WE'RE ON OUR WAY TO THE LAST COUNTRY ON OUR JOURNEY. 1397 00:53:55,365 --> 00:53:56,932 PAPUA NEW GUINEA IS ONE OF THE 1398 00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,001 MOST REMOTE COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD. 1399 00:53:59,069 --> 00:54:00,703 SEVERAL OF THE TRIBES HERE HAVE 1400 00:54:00,770 --> 00:54:02,238 TRADITIONAL VIRILITY RITUALS 1401 00:54:02,305 --> 00:54:06,575 HANDED DOWN FROM PRE-COLONIAL TIMES. 1402 00:54:06,643 --> 00:54:08,244 OUR GUIDE IS PROFESSOR GIL HERDT, THE 1403 00:54:08,311 --> 00:54:11,180 FOREMOST ANTHROPOLOGIST WORKING IN THE COUNTRY. 1404 00:54:11,348 --> 00:54:13,182 >> THERE'S SO MANY DIFFERENT 1405 00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:16,819 WAYS IN WHICH THE PENIS REPRESENTS POWER... >> YEAH. 1406 00:54:16,886 --> 00:54:19,488 >> ...REPRESENTS DOMINATION, REPRESENTS... 1407 00:54:19,556 --> 00:54:20,522 >> MASCULINITY. 1408 00:54:20,590 --> 00:54:21,624 >> ...MASCULINITY. 1409 00:54:21,791 --> 00:54:23,192 >> SAMBIA WILL TELL THE STORY -- 1410 00:54:23,260 --> 00:54:25,527 THIS IS THE TRIBE THAT I WORK WITH IN NEW GUINEA. 1411 00:54:25,595 --> 00:54:26,128 >> MM-HMM. 1412 00:54:26,196 --> 00:54:28,230 >> AND I KNEW A LOT OF WARRIORS 1413 00:54:28,298 --> 00:54:31,667 WHO REALLY HAD KILLED, WHO REALLY HAD LED BATTLES. 1414 00:54:31,735 --> 00:54:35,104 THEY WOULD SAY THAT, WHEN CHARGING INTO BATTLE, THE 1415 00:54:35,171 --> 00:54:37,139 WARRIOR WHO WAS USUALLY THE WAR 1416 00:54:37,207 --> 00:54:39,942 LEADER, WOULD HAVE AN ERECTION... >> HMM. 1417 00:54:40,010 --> 00:54:41,810 >> ...WHICH SYMBOLIZED HIS 1418 00:54:41,878 --> 00:54:44,380 ABILITY TO WIN OVER ON HIS ENEMY. 1419 00:54:44,447 --> 00:54:46,382 AND IF YOU REALLY WANTED TO GET 1420 00:54:46,449 --> 00:54:49,084 THE LIFE ESSENCE OF A GUY... >> MM-HMM. 1421 00:54:49,152 --> 00:54:51,153 >> ...AFTER YOU ATTACKED HIM AND 1422 00:54:51,221 --> 00:54:53,289 HE WAS DYING AND HE WAS HAVING 1423 00:54:53,356 --> 00:54:55,491 SPASMS IN HIS BODY AND HE HAD AN 1424 00:54:55,592 --> 00:54:58,327 ERECTION, YOU TRIED TO GET THE SEMEN. 1425 00:54:58,395 --> 00:55:00,496 AND IF YOU COULD TAKE THAT INTO 1426 00:55:00,563 --> 00:55:02,531 YOUR BODY, YOU GOT HIS POWER. 1427 00:55:02,599 --> 00:55:04,233 AND THE NOTION WAS NOT FOCUSED 1428 00:55:04,301 --> 00:55:05,768 ON THE SIZE OF YOUR PENIS. 1429 00:55:05,835 --> 00:55:08,337 AS FAR AS I KNOW, THAT DIDN'T REALLY HAPPEN. 1430 00:55:08,405 --> 00:55:10,506 BUT IT APPEARS TO BE COMING UP NOW. 1431 00:55:10,573 --> 00:55:11,940 >> I MEAN, IF YOU GO -- IN A 1432 00:55:12,008 --> 00:55:14,610 SOCIETY WHERE YOU, YOU KNOW, HUNDREDS AND MAYBE EVEN 1433 00:55:14,678 --> 00:55:16,245 THOUSANDS OF YEARS THINKING THAT 1434 00:55:16,313 --> 00:55:17,846 IT'S NOT IMPORTANT, HOW DO THESE 1435 00:55:17,914 --> 00:55:19,415 IDEAS, THESE SEEDS, GET PLANTED 1436 00:55:19,482 --> 00:55:22,084 IN THE MEN'S HEAD AND THEN IN THE WOMEN'S HEAD, TOO? 1437 00:55:22,152 --> 00:55:24,253 >> HANDHELD CELLPHONES AND 1438 00:55:24,321 --> 00:55:27,256 SEEING PORN STORES WITH BIG DICKS. 1439 00:55:27,324 --> 00:55:28,190 >> MM-HMM. 1440 00:55:28,258 --> 00:55:30,326 >> THESE GUYS SORT OF TALKING 1441 00:55:30,393 --> 00:55:32,328 ABOUT THESE PENIS IMPLANTS, 1442 00:55:32,395 --> 00:55:34,496 PUTTING THINGS IN THEIR PENIS. 1443 00:55:34,564 --> 00:55:36,265 AT FIRST, I DIDN'T QUITE BELIEVE 1444 00:55:36,333 --> 00:55:37,766 IT, AND THEN, THE MORE THEY 1445 00:55:37,834 --> 00:55:39,368 TALKED ABOUT IT, I THOUGHT -- 1446 00:55:39,436 --> 00:55:40,903 AND THEN I SAW SOME PHOTOS. 1447 00:55:40,970 --> 00:55:41,570 >> MM-HMM. 1448 00:55:41,638 --> 00:55:44,340 >> AND SO I SAID TO THEM, "WHERE'S THIS COMING FROM?" 1449 00:55:44,407 --> 00:55:47,910 AND THIS IS WHAT I DIDN'T BELIEVE UNTIL THEY TOLD ME. 1450 00:55:47,977 --> 00:55:49,778 THEY SAID, "IT'S BECAUSE OUR 1451 00:55:49,846 --> 00:55:51,914 GIRLFRIENDS SAY WE'RE TOO SMALL. 1452 00:55:51,981 --> 00:55:57,986 AND I SAID, "YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING." 1453 00:55:58,054 --> 00:56:01,023 >> SO, NOW WE'RE DRIVING OUT TO A REMOTE BUSH REGION. 1454 00:56:01,091 --> 00:56:02,524 WE WILL MEET A TRIBE WHOSE 1455 00:56:02,592 --> 00:56:05,694 TRADITIONS DATE BACK MANY CENTURIES. 1456 00:56:05,762 --> 00:56:08,697 HELLO. HOW ARE YOU? HI! 1457 00:56:08,765 --> 00:56:10,699 YOU'RE FRIENDLY. 1458 00:56:10,767 --> 00:56:13,402 HEY, BUDDY. 1459 00:56:13,470 --> 00:56:18,140 THE VILLAGE SPANS ACROSS SEVERAL HUNDRED ACRES. 1460 00:56:18,208 --> 00:56:20,642 UPON ENTERING, WE ARE MET WITH 1461 00:56:20,710 --> 00:56:24,246 THE TRADITIONAL TRIBAL GREETING. 1462 00:56:24,347 --> 00:56:31,954 THIS IS THEIR EQUIVALENT TO A HANDSHAKE. 1463 00:56:32,021 --> 00:56:34,823 >> [ CHANTING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE ] 1464 00:56:34,891 --> 00:56:35,891 >> PAT, CAN YOU DO THAT? 1465 00:56:35,959 --> 00:56:36,925 >> CAN I DO THAT? 1466 00:56:36,993 --> 00:56:37,926 CAN I MAKE FIRE? 1467 00:56:37,994 --> 00:56:40,028 READY? WATCH THIS. 1468 00:56:40,096 --> 00:56:40,729 >> AH! 1469 00:56:40,797 --> 00:56:42,765 >> AH! CHEATING. 1470 00:56:42,832 --> 00:56:43,866 EH. 1471 00:56:43,933 --> 00:56:45,968 IT'S NOT NEARLY AS IMPRESSIVE. 1472 00:56:46,035 --> 00:56:48,203 THE TRIBE HAS BEEN VERY WELCOMING. 1473 00:56:48,271 --> 00:56:49,772 GIL TELLS THEM OF MY PROBLEM, 1474 00:56:49,839 --> 00:56:53,208 AND THEY INTRODUCE ME TO THEIR WITCHDOCTOR. 1475 00:56:53,276 --> 00:56:56,512 HE PREPARES A RITUAL AND PLEADS WITH THE GODS. 1476 00:56:56,579 --> 00:57:04,686 >> [ SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE ] 1477 00:57:04,754 --> 00:57:04,953 [ WHOOPING ] 1478 00:57:09,426 --> 00:57:11,193 >> IT SEEMS THAT THIS RITUAL IS 1479 00:57:11,261 --> 00:57:13,829 MORE SPIRITUAL THAN PHYSICAL. 1480 00:57:13,897 --> 00:57:16,799 APPARENTLY, MOST TRIBES CARE FAR 1481 00:57:16,866 --> 00:57:20,235 MORE ABOUT FERTILITY THAN SIZE. 1482 00:57:20,303 --> 00:57:21,603 BUT THERE'S STILL A TRIBE THAT 1483 00:57:21,671 --> 00:57:24,773 MAY HAVE THE SOLUTION I'M LOOKING FOR. 1484 00:57:24,841 --> 00:57:26,875 WE MEET UP WITH THE SAMBIA PEOPLE. 1485 00:57:26,943 --> 00:57:28,444 THESE ARE GIL'S FRIENDS FOR 1486 00:57:28,511 --> 00:57:30,179 SEVERAL DECADES, AND THEY CLAIM 1487 00:57:30,246 --> 00:57:33,449 THAT ENLARGEMENTS ARE COMMON IN THIS REGION. 1488 00:57:33,516 --> 00:57:36,852 >> WHEN HE WAS A BOY, HE FELL DOWN FROM A TREE. 1489 00:57:36,920 --> 00:57:38,086 HE WAS ABOUT 5. 1490 00:57:38,154 --> 00:57:39,288 >> 5 YEARS OLD. 1491 00:57:39,355 --> 00:57:41,657 >> AND HE FELL ON HIS SCROTUM 1492 00:57:41,724 --> 00:57:43,992 AND SPLICED HIS SCROTUM OPEN. 1493 00:57:44,060 --> 00:57:47,362 AND THEY'RE ALL LAUGHING AND LAUGHING AND LAUGHING. 1494 00:57:47,464 --> 00:57:49,431 AND I WAS THE MEDICAL ASSISTANT 1495 00:57:49,499 --> 00:57:51,133 TO THIS AREA AT THE TIME. 1496 00:57:51,201 --> 00:57:53,235 SO, I SLUNG HIM UP OVER MY 1497 00:57:53,303 --> 00:57:57,005 SHOULDER, AND I CARRIED HIM DOWN THE MOUNTAIN. 1498 00:57:57,073 --> 00:58:01,043 AND I HAD BLOOD ALL OVER MY BODY, FROM YOUR BALLS. 1499 00:58:01,110 --> 00:58:01,977 >> WOW. 1500 00:58:02,045 --> 00:58:03,278 [ LAUGHTER ] 1501 00:58:03,346 --> 00:58:05,347 >> RIGHT. THAT'S MY STORY. 1502 00:58:13,990 --> 00:58:16,425 THE SAMBIA PEOPLE WELCOME ME TO THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD. 1503 00:58:16,493 --> 00:58:18,360 >> AND THEN DO THIS. 1504 00:58:18,428 --> 00:58:19,194 BAM! 1505 00:58:19,262 --> 00:58:20,629 [ LAUGHTER ] 1506 00:58:20,697 --> 00:58:21,930 THEN WE HEAD TO THE MARKET TO 1507 00:58:21,998 --> 00:58:25,501 SEEK OUT ENLARGEMENT PROSPECTS. 1508 00:58:25,568 --> 00:58:31,406 [ CONVERSING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE ] 1509 00:58:31,474 --> 00:58:32,641 >> YOU EXPLAIN TO HIM. 1510 00:58:32,709 --> 00:58:33,775 AM PATRICK. 1511 00:58:33,843 --> 00:58:36,478 YOU CAN TALK SAMBIA ON PATRICK. 1512 00:58:36,546 --> 00:58:40,282 >> THIS IS THE NUMBER YOU WANT. 1513 00:58:40,350 --> 00:58:41,917 >> OH, FOR THE -- >> YES. 1514 00:58:41,985 --> 00:58:42,651 >> REALLY? 1515 00:58:42,719 --> 00:58:43,752 >> EXTEND. 1516 00:58:43,820 --> 00:58:46,188 >> FOR THE BIG -- YEAH, THE -- 1517 00:58:52,161 --> 00:58:53,762 AND WHEN YOU DO THE PROCEDURE, 1518 00:58:53,830 --> 00:58:55,464 THE NEEDLE -- HOW MANY TIMES DO 1519 00:58:55,532 --> 00:58:57,132 YOU PUT IT -- DO YOU PUT IT IN 1520 00:58:57,200 --> 00:58:58,834 ONCE, PUT ALL THE OIL IN, OR DO 1521 00:58:58,902 --> 00:59:01,570 YOU HAVE TO GO INTO DIFFERENT AREAS OF THE PENIS? 1522 00:59:01,638 --> 00:59:05,541 I DON'T LIKE NEEDLES, SO... >> 10 SHOTS. 1523 00:59:05,608 --> 00:59:06,241 >> 10 SHOTS. 1524 00:59:06,309 --> 00:59:07,175 >> THAT'S 50 MILS. 1525 00:59:07,243 --> 00:59:08,544 >> 50 MILS, 10 SHOTS. 1526 00:59:08,611 --> 00:59:12,347 >> ONE 5 MILLILITER, 10, 15, 20, 1527 00:59:12,415 --> 00:59:16,752 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, TWO IN THE MIDDLE. 1528 00:59:16,819 --> 00:59:18,453 >> FROM THE MEN THAT YOU'VE 1529 00:59:18,521 --> 00:59:20,188 DONE, DOES IT APPEAR TO BE A 1530 00:59:20,256 --> 00:59:23,825 PAINFUL PROCEDURE, OR IS IT FAIRLY PAINLESS? 1531 00:59:27,063 --> 00:59:28,130 AND IT'S SAFE. 1532 00:59:28,197 --> 00:59:30,198 IT'S A SAFE PROCEDURE. 1533 00:59:54,591 --> 00:59:57,326 AND IT'S NOT SORE OR...? 1534 00:59:57,393 --> 00:59:59,561 AND IT DOESN'T, LIKE, LEAK OR ANYTHING? 1535 00:59:59,629 --> 01:00:01,029 >> NO. NO. 1536 01:00:01,097 --> 01:00:02,998 >> OKAY. 1537 01:00:09,806 --> 01:00:12,541 WERE YOU NERVOUS WHEN YOU...? 1538 01:00:16,546 --> 01:00:17,813 MM-HMM. 1539 01:00:24,854 --> 01:00:26,555 JUST A LITTLE BIT OF BLOOD? 1540 01:00:26,623 --> 01:00:30,559 CAN YOU PUT IT IN THE SYRINGE 1541 01:00:30,627 --> 01:00:32,761 JUST SO I CAN SEE HOW MUCH? 1542 01:00:54,384 --> 01:01:00,656 AND THAT'S -- SO, 10 OF THOSE? 1543 01:01:00,723 --> 01:01:01,990 >> YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT IF 1544 01:01:02,058 --> 01:01:03,425 YOU DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE, MAN. 1545 01:01:03,493 --> 01:01:06,461 >> IT'S... [ SIGHS ] 1546 01:01:06,529 --> 01:01:07,396 OKAY. 1547 01:01:07,597 --> 01:01:12,601 SO, HOW -- SHOULD I STAND -- STAND UP? 1548 01:01:27,417 --> 01:01:30,018 I'M SO SCARED RIGHT NOW. 1549 01:01:38,961 --> 01:01:41,363 OHH. 1550 01:01:41,431 --> 01:01:45,400 OKAY, UH... OKAY. OKAY. 1551 01:01:48,971 --> 01:01:50,706 OKAY. 1552 01:01:50,873 --> 01:01:57,012 YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. 1553 01:01:57,080 --> 01:01:58,980 AH, OKAY. HANG ON. 1554 01:01:59,048 --> 01:02:01,817 [ SIGHS ] 1555 01:02:01,884 --> 01:02:07,989 MNH. I FEEL A LITTLE... I FEEL A LITTLE... 1556 01:02:08,057 --> 01:02:09,791 >> GO GET SOME FRESH AIR. 1557 01:02:09,859 --> 01:02:10,959 >> OKAY. HANG ON. 1558 01:02:11,027 --> 01:02:12,794 JUST ONE -- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 1559 01:02:12,862 --> 01:02:15,063 OKAY. YEAH. OKAY. 1560 01:02:15,131 --> 01:02:16,698 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 1561 01:02:16,766 --> 01:02:18,867 [ EXHALES SHARPLY ] 1562 01:02:18,935 --> 01:02:23,071 DEFINITELY... DUDE, WOULD YOU DO THIS? 1563 01:02:23,139 --> 01:02:23,905 SHOULD I DO THIS? 1564 01:02:23,973 --> 01:02:24,973 IS THIS FUCKING CRAZY? 1565 01:02:25,041 --> 01:02:26,808 I'M AFRAID TO EAT THE FUCKING FOOD HERE. 1566 01:02:26,876 --> 01:02:30,412 I'M NOT GONNA LET THAT GUY STICK A NEEDLE IN MY PENIS. 1567 01:02:30,480 --> 01:02:31,279 I'M NOT DOING IT. 1568 01:02:31,347 --> 01:02:32,748 JUST GIVE HIM THE MONEY AND TELL 1569 01:02:32,815 --> 01:02:33,849 HIM THAT I CAN'T DO IT. 1570 01:02:33,916 --> 01:02:34,649 >> DON'T WORRY. 1571 01:02:34,717 --> 01:02:37,285 >> OKAY. OKAY. 1572 01:02:37,353 --> 01:02:39,588 I FEEL LIKE... 1573 01:02:46,796 --> 01:02:49,164 WHEN I WAS STARING DOWN AT THAT 1574 01:02:49,232 --> 01:02:51,333 NEEDLE, I REALIZED JUST HOW 1575 01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:54,369 DESPERATELY I WANT THIS ENLARGEMENT. 1576 01:02:54,437 --> 01:02:56,805 THIS IS SOMETHING I HAVE TO DO. 1577 01:02:56,873 --> 01:03:00,408 BUT I HAVE TO DO IT A SMART WAY, A SAFE WAY. 1578 01:03:00,476 --> 01:03:02,210 SO, I'M HEADED BACK TO KOREA. 1579 01:03:02,278 --> 01:03:03,545 APPARENTLY, IT'S THE 1580 01:03:03,613 --> 01:03:06,014 PLASTIC-SURGERY CAPITAL OF THE WORLD. 1581 01:03:06,082 --> 01:03:08,784 [ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ] 1582 01:03:08,851 --> 01:03:10,418 SO, NOT ONLY DOES KOREA HAVE THE 1583 01:03:10,486 --> 01:03:11,953 SMALLEST PENISES IN THE WORLD. 1584 01:03:12,021 --> 01:03:15,056 THEY ALSO HAVE THE MOST PLASTIC SURGERY THAT GOES DOWN. 1585 01:03:15,124 --> 01:03:16,391 SO, WE'VE COME TO THIS AREA. 1586 01:03:16,459 --> 01:03:17,893 THIS PARTICULAR DISTRICT HAS THE 1587 01:03:17,960 --> 01:03:20,095 MOST PLASTIC-SURGERY CENTERS IN ALL THE WORLD. 1588 01:03:20,163 --> 01:03:21,630 >> ¶ I GOT SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT 1589 01:03:21,697 --> 01:03:23,732 THINKING TWICE TONIGHT ¶ 1590 01:03:28,104 --> 01:03:29,971 >> THAT'S WHAT WE'RE HOPING. 1591 01:03:30,039 --> 01:03:35,043 HOLY GRAIL. 1592 01:03:35,111 --> 01:03:38,446 HI. 1593 01:03:38,514 --> 01:03:41,483 I'M HERE TO SEE DR. LEE. 1594 01:03:41,551 --> 01:03:44,986 YEAH. 1595 01:03:45,054 --> 01:03:45,921 >> DON'T WORRY. 1596 01:03:45,988 --> 01:03:46,555 >> OKAY. 1597 01:03:46,622 --> 01:03:48,356 >> [ LAUGHS ] 1598 01:03:52,428 --> 01:03:53,995 >> RIGHT, RIGHT. 1599 01:04:04,507 --> 01:04:06,374 MM-HMM. 1600 01:04:11,881 --> 01:04:14,082 YEAH. MM-HMM. MM-HMM. 1601 01:04:14,283 --> 01:04:17,819 >> [ SPEAKING KOREAN ] 1602 01:04:17,887 --> 01:04:19,287 >> DR. LEE EXPLAINS THAT HIS 1603 01:04:19,355 --> 01:04:22,724 SURGERY IS DONE IN TWO WAYS. 1604 01:04:22,792 --> 01:04:24,559 ONE IS BY HARVESTING A SECTION 1605 01:04:24,627 --> 01:04:26,494 OF SKIN AND FAT FROM A DEAD BODY 1606 01:04:26,562 --> 01:04:29,364 AND ELONGATING THE PENIS WITH THE EXTRA FLESH. 1607 01:04:29,432 --> 01:04:30,832 THE OTHER AND MORE POPULAR 1608 01:04:30,900 --> 01:04:32,467 PROCEDURE INVOLVES HARVESTING 1609 01:04:32,535 --> 01:04:34,102 FAT FROM THE PATIENT'S ABDOMEN 1610 01:04:34,170 --> 01:04:35,837 AND INSERTING IT UNDER THE SKIN 1611 01:04:35,905 --> 01:04:37,539 OF THE PENIS SHAFT, THUS ADDING 1612 01:04:37,607 --> 01:04:39,307 SEVERAL CENTIMETERS OF GIRTH AND 1613 01:04:39,375 --> 01:04:40,775 A VERY NATURAL APPEARANCE. 1614 01:04:40,843 --> 01:04:42,844 DR. LEE INVENTED THIS PROCEDURE, 1615 01:04:42,912 --> 01:04:45,480 AND IT'S BECOME THE INDUSTRY STANDARD. 1616 01:04:45,548 --> 01:04:52,120 IT'S CONSIDERED TO BE VERY SAFE AND EFFECTIVE. 1617 01:04:52,188 --> 01:04:54,756 DR. LEE INVITES ME TO MEET ONE OF HIS CURRENT PATIENTS. 1618 01:04:54,824 --> 01:04:55,490 >> [ LAUGHS ] 1619 01:04:55,558 --> 01:04:56,124 >> HI. HI. 1620 01:04:56,192 --> 01:04:56,992 >> GOOD MORNING. 1621 01:04:57,059 --> 01:04:58,493 >> GOOD MORNING. GOOD MORNING. 1622 01:04:58,561 --> 01:04:59,594 >> [ SPEAKING KOREAN ] 1623 01:04:59,662 --> 01:05:01,930 >> [ CHUCKLES ] 1624 01:05:09,672 --> 01:05:11,573 MM-HMM, MM-HMM. 1625 01:05:14,710 --> 01:05:16,645 OKAY. OH, YEAH. 1626 01:05:16,712 --> 01:05:19,681 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. WOW. 1627 01:05:19,749 --> 01:05:22,484 >> [ LAUGHS ] 1628 01:05:22,551 --> 01:05:23,952 >> YEAH, YEAH. THANK YOU. 1629 01:05:24,020 --> 01:05:25,587 THANK YOU. 1630 01:05:25,755 --> 01:05:27,255 I MEAN, IT WAS PRETTY BIG. 1631 01:05:27,323 --> 01:05:29,024 I MEAN, IF HE WAS REALLY SMALL 1632 01:05:29,091 --> 01:05:30,825 ENOUGH TO COME IN AND CONSIDER 1633 01:05:30,893 --> 01:05:32,527 HAVING THIS PROCEDURE DONE -- 1634 01:05:32,595 --> 01:05:34,162 I MEAN, WHAT I SAW WAS, YOU 1635 01:05:34,230 --> 01:05:37,499 KNOW, PRETTY GIRTHY-LOOKING. 1636 01:05:42,905 --> 01:05:45,407 [ PHONE LINE RINGING ] 1637 01:05:45,474 --> 01:05:46,608 >> YES? 1638 01:05:46,676 --> 01:05:48,677 >> WHAT UP, MAN? IT'S PAT. 1639 01:05:57,453 --> 01:05:59,321 UH, NOTHING, DUDE. 1640 01:05:59,522 --> 01:06:02,657 I WENT AND MET THIS DOCTOR, THE, 1641 01:06:02,725 --> 01:06:05,226 LIKE, PENIS-ENLARGEMENT GUY. 1642 01:06:09,031 --> 01:06:10,932 HE'S LIKE THE MOST FAMOUS PENIS 1643 01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:12,934 DOCTOR IN THE WORLD, AND HE LIKE 1644 01:06:13,002 --> 01:06:14,569 DEVELOPED THIS PROCEDURE. 1645 01:06:14,637 --> 01:06:15,337 HE DID IT. 1646 01:06:15,438 --> 01:06:19,407 IT'S HIS -- LIKE, FROM HIS BRAIN, HE MADE IT UP. 1647 01:06:32,021 --> 01:06:36,524 >> [ CHANTING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE ] 1648 01:07:29,245 --> 01:07:31,046 >> I FEEL LIKE IF MAYBE I CAN 1649 01:07:31,113 --> 01:07:32,981 SEE HOW THE PROCEDURE IS DONE, 1650 01:07:33,049 --> 01:07:34,949 IT'LL KIND OF SETTLE MY FEARS A 1651 01:07:35,017 --> 01:07:36,951 LITTLE BIT, YOU KNOW, IF I KNOW 1652 01:07:37,019 --> 01:07:40,188 WHAT, YOU KNOW, I'M ACTUALLY GETTING MY DICK INTO. 1653 01:07:40,256 --> 01:07:41,189 BUT, I MEAN, HE SAID IT'S 1654 01:07:41,257 --> 01:07:43,358 LIKE -- YOU KNOW, THERE'S LITERALLY NO PAIN. 1655 01:07:43,426 --> 01:07:46,661 YOU RECOVER IN LIKE A DAY. 1656 01:07:46,729 --> 01:07:50,432 SO, I MEAN, IT CAN'T BE THAT BAD. 1657 01:08:05,247 --> 01:08:08,216 >> HAVE YOU SEE BEFORE -- OPERATION? 1658 01:08:08,284 --> 01:08:08,850 >> MNH-MNH. 1659 01:08:08,918 --> 01:08:09,250 >> NO? 1660 01:08:09,318 --> 01:08:09,884 >> MNH-MNH. 1661 01:08:09,952 --> 01:08:10,618 >> FIRST TIME? 1662 01:08:10,686 --> 01:08:11,219 >> MM-HMM. 1663 01:08:11,287 --> 01:08:12,253 >> FOR THE EXPERIENCE? 1664 01:08:12,321 --> 01:08:14,355 >> MNH-MNH. 1665 01:08:25,167 --> 01:08:27,268 [ VOMITS ] 1666 01:08:34,844 --> 01:08:37,078 >> [ COUGHING ] 1667 01:08:42,818 --> 01:08:46,221 >> DUDE, HERE. HERE. 1668 01:08:46,288 --> 01:08:48,289 >> [ SNIFFS ] 1669 01:09:02,037 --> 01:09:04,739 [ CHUCKLES ] 1670 01:09:04,807 --> 01:09:11,112 NO. NO WAY. 1671 01:09:11,313 --> 01:09:14,716 YOU EVER HAVE ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS WHERE YOU JUST STEP 1672 01:09:14,783 --> 01:09:16,518 OUTSIDE YOURSELF AND KIND OF 1673 01:09:16,585 --> 01:09:18,553 TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT YOU'RE DOING 1674 01:09:18,621 --> 01:09:20,588 AND REALIZE THAT YOU'RE JUST NOT 1675 01:09:20,656 --> 01:09:22,123 BEING YOURSELF ANYMORE? 1676 01:09:22,191 --> 01:09:23,725 AND HONESTLY, I DON'T REALLY 1677 01:09:23,792 --> 01:09:27,195 KNOW WHAT I'M DOING HERE ANYMORE. 1678 01:09:48,217 --> 01:09:49,884 I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S ABOUT. 1679 01:09:49,952 --> 01:09:51,319 EVERYTHING WE DO ISN'T WORKING. 1680 01:09:51,387 --> 01:09:52,654 I'M MAKING A COMPLETE FOOL OF 1681 01:09:52,721 --> 01:09:54,422 MYSELF IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE WORLD. 1682 01:09:54,490 --> 01:09:56,858 WHO'S GONNA WANT TO BE WITH ME AFTER SEEING THIS FILM? 1683 01:09:56,959 --> 01:09:58,059 I LOOK LIKE AN INSECURE, 1684 01:09:58,127 --> 01:09:59,827 NARCISSISTIC FREAK WITH A TINY DICK. 1685 01:09:59,895 --> 01:10:00,595 >> IT'S YOUR MOVIE! 1686 01:10:00,663 --> 01:10:01,763 >> YEAH, IF YOU DIDN'T SEE THIS 1687 01:10:01,830 --> 01:10:04,933 COMING FROM A MILE AWAY, THEN YOU'RE OBLIVIOUS, MAN. 1688 01:10:12,775 --> 01:10:13,641 >> HEY, PATTY. 1689 01:10:13,709 --> 01:10:14,776 HOW ARE YOU DOING? 1690 01:10:14,843 --> 01:10:21,049 >> UM... I'VE BEEN HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS 1691 01:10:21,150 --> 01:10:22,317 ABOUT THE FILM. 1692 01:10:22,384 --> 01:10:24,519 IT'S JUST A LITTLE INTENSE. 1693 01:10:24,587 --> 01:10:28,690 SO, I TOLD EVERYBODY THAT I'M DONE. 1694 01:10:28,757 --> 01:10:34,162 >> YOU'RE ASKING A QUESTION OF 1695 01:10:34,230 --> 01:10:38,366 MALE IDENTITY THAT IS BEYOND JUST YOU. 1696 01:10:38,434 --> 01:10:39,667 IT'S A BIG QUESTION. 1697 01:10:39,735 --> 01:10:41,302 SO I UNDERSTAND IT WOULD BE 1698 01:10:41,370 --> 01:10:43,071 CONFUSING AT A CERTAIN POINT. 1699 01:10:43,138 --> 01:10:44,973 BUT I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY 1700 01:10:45,040 --> 01:10:47,342 YOU WOULD GET THIS FAR AND THEN QUIT. 1701 01:10:47,409 --> 01:10:49,310 >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. 1702 01:10:49,378 --> 01:10:52,647 IT'S HARDER THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE, I GUESS. 1703 01:10:52,715 --> 01:10:55,750 >> IT'S ALL HARD, PATTY, YOU KNOW? 1704 01:10:55,818 --> 01:10:58,353 I DON'T WANT TO BRING UP THE OLD 1705 01:10:58,420 --> 01:11:02,523 HISTORY, BUT YOU WALKED OUT OF TWO S.A.T.s. 1706 01:11:02,591 --> 01:11:08,229 YOU WANTED TO QUIT BASKETBALL. 1707 01:11:08,297 --> 01:11:10,898 DID YOU QUIT? I CAN'T REMEMBER. 1708 01:11:10,966 --> 01:11:12,000 YOU DID. 1709 01:11:12,067 --> 01:11:14,135 I WOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU TOTALLY 1710 01:11:14,203 --> 01:11:16,237 DIFFERENT ADVICE THREE MONTHS 1711 01:11:16,305 --> 01:11:18,439 AGO, BUT NOW I FEEL LIKE YOU'VE 1712 01:11:18,507 --> 01:11:20,708 REALLY GROWN FROM THE EXPERIENCE 1713 01:11:20,776 --> 01:11:22,543 AND ASKING THE QUESTIONS. 1714 01:11:22,611 --> 01:11:24,712 AND, YOU KNOW, IN GROWTH, THERE 1715 01:11:24,780 --> 01:11:26,848 IS PAIN, AND IT'S PAINFUL RIGHT 1716 01:11:26,915 --> 01:11:28,783 NOW, BUT JUST KEEP GROWING. 1717 01:11:28,851 --> 01:11:31,019 DON'T GIVE UP. 1718 01:11:38,027 --> 01:11:39,694 >> WHY DOES SIZE MATTER SO MUCH? 1719 01:11:39,762 --> 01:11:42,463 AND WHERE DOES THIS OBSESSION COME FROM? 1720 01:11:42,531 --> 01:11:51,039 AND HOW CAN YOU HELP PEOPLE WHO FEEL INSECURE ABOUT IT? 1721 01:11:51,106 --> 01:11:52,874 THERE'S NO GOOD WAY FOR ME TO 1722 01:11:52,941 --> 01:11:54,776 GET A BIGGER DICK, BUT MAYBE I 1723 01:11:54,843 --> 01:11:58,713 CAN FIND A WAY TO LIVE WITH THE ONE I'VE GOT. 1724 01:11:58,781 --> 01:12:01,849 IN NEW YORK, THERE'S A MAN THAT I'M TERRIFIED TO MEET. 1725 01:12:01,917 --> 01:12:03,718 HIS NAME IS JONAH FALCON, AND HE 1726 01:12:03,786 --> 01:12:07,155 HAS THE WORLD'S BIGGEST PENIS. 1727 01:12:07,323 --> 01:12:10,992 AS FAR AS YOU KNOW, IS YOURS LIKE THE BIGGEST? 1728 01:12:11,060 --> 01:12:11,926 >> AS FAR AS I KNOW. 1729 01:12:11,994 --> 01:12:14,329 IT WAS MEASURED ON CAMERA 13 1/2". 1730 01:12:14,496 --> 01:12:17,231 WITHOUT USING A RULER, I GO FROM 1731 01:12:17,299 --> 01:12:20,902 HERE TO HERE, AND I'M AT THIS THICKNESS. 1732 01:12:21,003 --> 01:12:25,206 >> HOW HAS HAVING A PENIS THAT LARGE CHANGED YOUR LIFE? 1733 01:12:25,274 --> 01:12:27,108 >> WELL, I WAS 8" WHEN I WAS 10, 1734 01:12:27,176 --> 01:12:29,977 SO IT'S SORT OF LIKE NORMALCY FOR ME, YOU KNOW? 1735 01:12:30,045 --> 01:12:30,712 >> RIGHT. 1736 01:12:30,779 --> 01:12:32,380 >> THE ONLY THING THAT CHANGES 1737 01:12:32,448 --> 01:12:33,881 IS PEOPLE'S REACTION TO ME. 1738 01:12:33,949 --> 01:12:34,615 >> MM-HMM. 1739 01:12:34,683 --> 01:12:35,416 >> YOU KNOW? 1740 01:12:35,484 --> 01:12:36,718 SO, IT MAKES SEX EASIER. 1741 01:12:36,785 --> 01:12:38,820 IT DOESN'T MAKE RELATIONSHIPS EASIER. 1742 01:12:38,887 --> 01:12:41,456 YOU KNOW, I'VE HAD RELATIONSHIPS, BUT NONE OF THEM 1743 01:12:41,557 --> 01:12:44,058 HAVE REALLY LASTED MORE THAN, SAY, EIGHT MONTHS. 1744 01:12:44,126 --> 01:12:45,793 >> WHY DO YOU THINK THAT IS? 1745 01:12:45,861 --> 01:12:47,595 >> I MEAN, PEOPLE TEND NOT TO 1746 01:12:47,663 --> 01:12:50,298 THINK OF ME IN THAT SORT OF WAY, YOU KNOW? 1747 01:12:50,366 --> 01:12:52,266 THEY TEND TO THINK OF ME AS MORE 1748 01:12:52,334 --> 01:12:54,736 OF A, YOU KNOW, "LET'S SEE WHAT HE'S LIKE." 1749 01:12:54,803 --> 01:12:57,572 >> SO, IT'S MORE OF LIKE A CURIOSITY, FASCINATION. 1750 01:12:57,639 --> 01:12:58,706 >> BASICALLY, YEAH. 1751 01:12:58,774 --> 01:12:59,340 >> RIGHT. 1752 01:12:59,408 --> 01:13:02,210 >> I MEAN, I'VE HAD ONE PARTNER SAY, "I DON'T LOVE YOU. 1753 01:13:02,277 --> 01:13:03,644 I JUST WANT YOU TO FUCK ME." 1754 01:13:03,746 --> 01:13:04,479 >> MM-HMM. 1755 01:13:04,546 --> 01:13:05,279 >> YOU KNOW? 1756 01:13:05,347 --> 01:13:06,748 WHICH IS REALLY A -- THAT'S 1757 01:13:06,815 --> 01:13:09,584 REALLY A BULLET TO MY HEART BECAUSE -- >> RIGHT. 1758 01:13:09,651 --> 01:13:12,253 >> YOU KNOW, I THINK THAT THERE'S SOMETHING DEEPER, BUT 1759 01:13:12,321 --> 01:13:13,454 APPARENTLY IT'S -- YOU KNOW, 1760 01:13:13,522 --> 01:13:14,722 WHERE I THINK IT'S HERE, THEY 1761 01:13:14,790 --> 01:13:16,357 THINK IT'S HERE, IN TERMS OF DEPTH. 1762 01:13:16,425 --> 01:13:17,792 >> I MEAN, I HEAR YOU. 1763 01:13:17,860 --> 01:13:20,061 I MEAN, LIKE, I HAVEN'T REALLY 1764 01:13:20,129 --> 01:13:21,896 HAD VERY MANY SUBSTANTIAL 1765 01:13:21,964 --> 01:13:24,132 RELATIONSHIPS, AND IT IS FAIRLY 1766 01:13:24,199 --> 01:13:26,267 OBVIOUS NOW THAT I AM PROBABLY 1767 01:13:26,335 --> 01:13:29,103 MAYBE A LITTLE BELOW WHAT IS AVERAGE. 1768 01:13:29,171 --> 01:13:30,438 >> BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I HAVE 1769 01:13:30,506 --> 01:13:31,873 BEEN BROACHED BY THIS TOPIC BY 1770 01:13:31,974 --> 01:13:33,341 OTHER GUYS, AS WELL, AND ONE OF 1771 01:13:33,409 --> 01:13:35,676 MY FAVORITES IS, "MAN, IF I HAD WHAT YOU HAD --" 1772 01:13:35,744 --> 01:13:37,111 AND MY ANSWER IS, "WHAT? 1773 01:13:37,179 --> 01:13:38,246 WHAT WOULD YOU DO? 1774 01:13:38,313 --> 01:13:39,714 WHAT WOULD BE DIFFERENT? 1775 01:13:39,782 --> 01:13:41,549 IT WOULD BE YOU PLUS A FEW EXTRA 1776 01:13:41,617 --> 01:13:42,950 INCHES, BUT GUESS WHAT. 1777 01:13:43,018 --> 01:13:44,018 YOU'RE STILL YOU. 1778 01:13:44,086 --> 01:13:51,192 AND PEOPLE ARE GONNA LIKE YOU EITHER WAY." 1779 01:13:51,260 --> 01:13:53,461 >> IT STARTED AS "PICKLE." 1780 01:13:53,662 --> 01:13:54,262 >> MM-HMM. 1781 01:13:54,329 --> 01:13:57,432 >> AND THAT PISSED ME OFF, AND I FELT IT IMMEDIATELY. 1782 01:13:57,599 --> 01:13:59,267 LIKE, THE HIGH SCHOOL RAGE CAME BACK. 1783 01:13:59,334 --> 01:14:01,068 >> WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS DOCUMENTARY? 1784 01:14:01,136 --> 01:14:01,869 >> I DON'T KNOW. 1785 01:14:01,937 --> 01:14:02,537 >> [ LAUGHS ] 1786 01:14:02,604 --> 01:14:03,337 >> I DON'T KNOW. 1787 01:14:03,405 --> 01:14:05,540 >> IT SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY UNPLEASANT EXPERIENCE. 1788 01:14:05,607 --> 01:14:06,641 >> IT HASN'T BEEN GREAT. 1789 01:14:06,708 --> 01:14:07,742 I'LL TELL YOU THAT MUCH. 1790 01:14:07,810 --> 01:14:11,813 AND THAT KIND OF STARTED THIS WHOLE PROJECT. 1791 01:14:11,880 --> 01:14:14,348 I'M NOW UNDER THE IMPRESSION 1792 01:14:14,416 --> 01:14:18,786 THAT PROBABLY I'M LIKE A LITTLE BELOW AVERAGE. 1793 01:14:18,854 --> 01:14:20,588 >> HALF OF EVERYONE IS. 1794 01:14:20,656 --> 01:14:24,425 >> RIGHT. RIGHT. UM -- >> AND "TOO SMALL" IS RELATIVE. 1795 01:14:24,526 --> 01:14:26,027 >> "TOO SMALL" IS RELATIVE? 1796 01:14:26,094 --> 01:14:27,495 >> TOO SMALL FOR HER. 1797 01:14:27,563 --> 01:14:28,296 >> RIGHT. 1798 01:14:28,363 --> 01:14:31,232 >> WE'VE PASSED THIS POINT WHERE 1799 01:14:31,300 --> 01:14:33,334 THE MALE BODY, ONCE UPON A TIME, 1800 01:14:33,402 --> 01:14:35,837 WAS NOT SUBJECT TO A CRITICAL GAZE. 1801 01:14:35,904 --> 01:14:36,604 AND NOW IT IS. 1802 01:14:36,672 --> 01:14:37,905 AND NOW MEN'S GENITALS ARE A 1803 01:14:37,973 --> 01:14:39,307 SUBJECT OF SCRUTINY AND DEBATE 1804 01:14:39,374 --> 01:14:40,608 AND, YOU KNOW, THUMBS UP OR 1805 01:14:40,676 --> 01:14:42,043 THUMBS DOWN, IN A WAY THAT THEY 1806 01:14:42,110 --> 01:14:43,411 DIDN'T USED TO BE, AND IN THE 1807 01:14:43,479 --> 01:14:44,679 WAY THAT TITS ALWAYS WERE. 1808 01:14:44,746 --> 01:14:45,613 SHE HAD GOOD TITS. 1809 01:14:45,681 --> 01:14:46,481 SHE HAS BAD TITS. 1810 01:14:46,548 --> 01:14:47,381 SHE HAS BIG TITS. 1811 01:14:47,449 --> 01:14:48,416 SHE HAS A NICE RACK. 1812 01:14:48,484 --> 01:14:49,784 SHE DOESN'T HAVE A NICE RACK. 1813 01:14:49,852 --> 01:14:51,486 >> WHERE DO YOU THINK THESE KIND 1814 01:14:51,553 --> 01:14:52,854 OF IDEAS ARE COMING FROM? 1815 01:14:52,921 --> 01:14:55,156 >> WELL, WE LIVE IN A PORN-IFIED CULTURE. 1816 01:14:55,224 --> 01:14:56,123 >> MM-HMM. 1817 01:14:56,191 --> 01:14:58,426 >> PORN IS A SKEWED SAMPLE. 1818 01:14:58,494 --> 01:15:00,428 PEOPLE AREN'T SEEING A REPRESENTATIVE SAMPLE OF 1819 01:15:00,496 --> 01:15:01,229 PENISES ANYWHERE. 1820 01:15:01,296 --> 01:15:02,830 ALL THEY'RE SEEING IS PORN PENISES. 1821 01:15:02,898 --> 01:15:04,098 >> WELL, THE FIRST PENIS I EVER 1822 01:15:04,166 --> 01:15:06,334 SAW LOOKED LIKE IT HAD CRASHED LANDED ON THIS PLANET. 1823 01:15:06,401 --> 01:15:07,001 >> [ LAUGHS ] 1824 01:15:07,069 --> 01:15:08,870 >> AND IT, YOU KNOW, THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS. 1825 01:15:08,937 --> 01:15:10,204 >> AND, YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN WITH 1826 01:15:10,272 --> 01:15:11,272 GUYS WHO HAVE THAT PENIS. 1827 01:15:11,340 --> 01:15:12,573 AND IT'S NOT FUN. 1828 01:15:12,641 --> 01:15:14,642 >> I THINK GUYS HAVE THIS IDEA 1829 01:15:14,710 --> 01:15:16,644 THAT WHEN THEY'RE NOT AROUND, 1830 01:15:16,712 --> 01:15:20,348 WOMEN ARE CONSTANTLY TALKING ABOUT THEIR PENISES. 1831 01:15:20,415 --> 01:15:21,682 >> THE SIZE OF THEIR PENISES. 1832 01:15:21,750 --> 01:15:23,651 I THINK POP CULTURE GIVES GUYS THAT IDEA. 1833 01:15:23,719 --> 01:15:25,019 I'M A FAG, AND I HANG OUT WITH 1834 01:15:25,087 --> 01:15:27,121 WOMEN WHEN THERE AREN'T STRAIGHT GUYS AROUND. 1835 01:15:27,189 --> 01:15:28,589 AND IT ALMOST NEVER COMES UP. 1836 01:15:28,657 --> 01:15:30,024 YOU KNOW, THERE'S ONE FAMOUS 1837 01:15:30,092 --> 01:15:31,559 STUDY THAT SHOWED THAT WOMEN -- 1838 01:15:31,627 --> 01:15:33,027 THE LONG-TERM PARTNERS OF MEN 1839 01:15:33,095 --> 01:15:35,630 WITH SMALL PENISES REPORTED HIGHER LEVELS OF SEXUAL 1840 01:15:35,697 --> 01:15:38,032 SATISFACTION THAN LONG-TERM PARTNERS OF MEN WITH 1841 01:15:38,133 --> 01:15:39,901 ABOVE-AVERAGE PENISES... >> HMM. 1842 01:15:39,968 --> 01:15:41,469 >> ...BECAUSE THE GUYS WITH 1843 01:15:41,537 --> 01:15:43,237 SMALLER PENISES DIDN'T JUST RELY 1844 01:15:43,338 --> 01:15:46,073 ON THEIR MAGIC DICKS TO GET THEIR GIRLFRIENDS OF, 1845 01:15:46,141 --> 01:15:46,874 NECESSARILY. 1846 01:15:46,975 --> 01:15:47,508 >> RIGHT. 1847 01:15:47,576 --> 01:15:49,110 >> THEY FELT LIKE THEY HAD TO GO 1848 01:15:49,177 --> 01:15:50,645 THE -- MAKE SOME EXTRA EFFORT. 1849 01:15:50,712 --> 01:15:52,146 YOU HAD TO KNOW HOW TO HAVE SEX. 1850 01:15:52,214 --> 01:15:53,648 I WAS WITH A GUY WHO HAD A SMALL 1851 01:15:53,715 --> 01:15:55,449 DICK, WHO WOULDN'T SHUT UP ABOUT IT. 1852 01:15:55,517 --> 01:15:57,485 I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT THE SIZE OF HIS DICK. 1853 01:15:57,553 --> 01:15:58,319 I REALLY DIDN'T. 1854 01:15:58,387 --> 01:15:59,987 BUT LISTENING TO HIM COMPLAIN 1855 01:16:00,055 --> 01:16:01,689 ABOUT HIS DICK AND PROJECT HIS 1856 01:16:01,757 --> 01:16:03,324 INSECURITIES ONTO ME ALL THE 1857 01:16:03,392 --> 01:16:05,126 TIME WAS EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTING. 1858 01:16:05,193 --> 01:16:06,360 I WAS FINE WITH HIS DICK. 1859 01:16:06,428 --> 01:16:08,896 I WASN'T FINE WITH HIS ASSUMPTION THAT I WASN'T FINE 1860 01:16:08,964 --> 01:16:10,431 WITH HIS DICK, AND EVENTUALLY IT 1861 01:16:10,499 --> 01:16:11,766 CONTRIBUTED TO OUR BREAKUP. 1862 01:16:11,833 --> 01:16:14,135 SOMEBODY WITH A BELOW-AVERAGE DICK ISN'T GONNA SATISFY 1863 01:16:14,202 --> 01:16:15,436 SOMEBODY WHO'S A COCK-HOUND OR 1864 01:16:15,504 --> 01:16:18,239 A SIZE QUEEN, AND SO WHAT? 1865 01:16:18,307 --> 01:16:20,775 YOU JUST DON'T, THEN, MARRY A SIZE QUEEN. 1866 01:16:20,842 --> 01:16:21,542 >> MM-HMM. 1867 01:16:21,610 --> 01:16:23,444 >> YOU HAVE TO FIND SOMEBODY WHO 1868 01:16:23,512 --> 01:16:25,279 LIKE YOUR JUNK AND IT WORKS FOR 1869 01:16:25,347 --> 01:16:26,847 THEM AND RUN OFF TOGETHER. 1870 01:16:26,915 --> 01:16:27,315 >> RIGHT. 1871 01:16:27,382 --> 01:16:28,816 >> THAT'S WHAT EVERYBODY HAS TO DO. 1872 01:16:28,884 --> 01:16:29,951 YOU HAVE TO FIND SOMEBODY WHO 1873 01:16:30,018 --> 01:16:33,054 LIKES EVERYTHING YOU BRING TO THE TABLE. 1874 01:16:38,894 --> 01:16:40,628 >> THE ONLY WAY THAT I CAN MOVE 1875 01:16:40,696 --> 01:16:42,463 ON IS TO FIND SOMEBODY WHO LIKES 1876 01:16:42,531 --> 01:16:44,732 EVERYTHING THAT I BRING TO THE TABLE. 1877 01:16:44,800 --> 01:16:47,868 I NEED TO GET BACK ON THE HORSE. 1878 01:16:47,936 --> 01:16:50,805 SO, I'VE DECIDED TO ASK KASSIA OUT ON A DATE. 1879 01:16:50,906 --> 01:16:55,443 SHE'S THE GIRL FROM THE SEX SHOP. 1880 01:16:55,544 --> 01:17:00,081 [ ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ] 1881 01:17:00,148 --> 01:17:03,918 >> ¶ MY HEART BEATS ¶ MY HEART IS FEELING LOVE 1882 01:17:03,986 --> 01:17:07,455 ¶ MY HEART BEATS ¶ MY HEART BEATS STRONGER 1883 01:17:07,522 --> 01:17:11,125 ¶ MY HEART BEATS ¶ MY HEART IS FEELING LOVE 1884 01:17:11,193 --> 01:17:14,795 ¶ MY HEART BEATS ¶ MY HEART BEATS STRONGER 1885 01:17:14,863 --> 01:17:18,599 ¶ MY HEART BEATS ¶ MY HEART IS FEELING LOVE 1886 01:17:18,667 --> 01:17:22,269 ¶ MY HEART BEATS ¶ MY LOVE BEATS STRONGER 1887 01:17:22,337 --> 01:17:25,873 ¶ MY HEART BEATS ¶ MY HEART IS FEELING LOVE 1888 01:17:25,941 --> 01:17:29,810 ¶ MY HEART BEATS ¶ MY LOVE BEATS STRONGER 1889 01:17:29,878 --> 01:17:32,013 ¶ AND WHAT ARE WE DOING? 1890 01:17:32,080 --> 01:17:34,682 ¶ WHERE HAVE WE BEEN? 1891 01:17:34,750 --> 01:17:44,925 ¶ NO, NO ¶ A STUPID BAD CHAT ¶ TWO ON THE FLOOR 1892 01:17:44,993 --> 01:17:49,730 ¶ AND WAS THAT THE NIGHT... 1893 01:17:49,798 --> 01:17:51,499 >> ALL RIGHT, SO, WHAT ABOUT TONIGHT? 1894 01:17:51,566 --> 01:17:54,535 DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME TONIGHT? 1895 01:17:54,603 --> 01:17:56,237 >> YEAH. 1896 01:17:56,304 --> 01:17:59,306 >> IS THAT FOR REAL? YOU DID? 1897 01:17:59,374 --> 01:18:01,308 >> YEAH. I DID. 1898 01:18:01,376 --> 01:18:03,310 I MEAN, I'M STILL HAVING THE TIME. 1899 01:18:03,378 --> 01:18:04,645 >> STILL HAVING THE TIME? 1900 01:18:04,746 --> 01:18:06,313 >> YEAH. I'LL GET BACK TO YOU. 1901 01:18:06,381 --> 01:18:08,282 >> GET BACK TO ME AFTER IT'S OVER? 1902 01:18:08,350 --> 01:18:09,116 WHAT ABOUT ME? 1903 01:18:09,184 --> 01:18:10,518 WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT ME? 1904 01:18:10,585 --> 01:18:13,721 AM I JUST A WEIRDO? 1905 01:18:13,789 --> 01:18:15,056 >> IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU. 1906 01:18:15,123 --> 01:18:16,791 >> [ LAUGHS ] 1907 01:18:16,858 --> 01:18:20,628 >> IT SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE AWESOME. 1908 01:18:20,696 --> 01:18:23,030 I JUST FEEL LIKE YOU ARE A 1909 01:18:23,098 --> 01:18:28,736 LITTLE OBSESSED WITH THIS WHOLE THING. 1910 01:18:28,804 --> 01:18:29,603 >> [ SIGHS ] 1911 01:18:29,671 --> 01:18:30,638 DO I SEEM OBSESSED? 1912 01:18:30,706 --> 01:18:33,307 IS THAT KIND OF HOW I COME OFF? 1913 01:18:33,375 --> 01:18:36,177 >> [ LAUGHS ] UM -- >> AS I HOLD A CAMERA IN YOUR 1914 01:18:36,244 --> 01:18:36,677 FACE? 1915 01:18:36,745 --> 01:18:37,278 >> YES. 1916 01:18:37,345 --> 01:18:39,280 >> YEAH. 1917 01:18:39,347 --> 01:18:40,448 >> YEAH, IT'S WEIRD. 1918 01:18:40,515 --> 01:18:43,451 I DON'T UNDERSTAND, LIKE -- 1919 01:18:43,518 --> 01:18:47,955 THERE'S SO MUCH MORE GOING ON, I FEEL. 1920 01:18:48,023 --> 01:18:49,256 >> LIKE -- >> IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A 1921 01:18:49,324 --> 01:18:52,493 RELATIONSHIP, IF YOU WANT TO BE 1922 01:18:52,561 --> 01:18:54,662 INTIMATE, IF ANY OF THAT MATTERS. 1923 01:18:54,763 --> 01:18:57,031 I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW HOW MEN FEEL. 1924 01:18:57,099 --> 01:18:59,200 IT'S SO NOT ALL ABOUT YOUR DICK. 1925 01:18:59,267 --> 01:19:00,334 >> HMM. 1926 01:19:00,402 --> 01:19:02,236 >> IF YOU GUYS CARE, P.S., IF 1927 01:19:02,304 --> 01:19:05,840 THIS EVER MAKES IT, IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOUR DICK. 1928 01:19:05,907 --> 01:19:07,174 >> UH-OH. YOUR TURN? 1929 01:19:07,242 --> 01:19:08,776 >> YEAH. 1930 01:19:08,844 --> 01:19:10,010 >> [ SIGHS ] 1931 01:19:10,078 --> 01:19:12,179 I LIKE IT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CAMERA. 1932 01:19:12,247 --> 01:19:14,548 IT'S A LOT LESS -- >> IT'S BETTER, HUH? 1933 01:19:14,616 --> 01:19:16,450 >> YEAH, IT'S WAY BETTER. 1934 01:19:16,518 --> 01:19:18,686 WHATEVER IT IS YOU NEED, NEEDS 1935 01:19:18,754 --> 01:19:20,988 TO HAPPEN BEFORE I FEEL LIKE WE 1936 01:19:21,056 --> 01:19:22,923 COULD EVEN GO GET A DRINK 1937 01:19:22,991 --> 01:19:25,893 WITHOUT YOU THINKING ABOUT IT. 1938 01:19:42,511 --> 01:19:45,746 >> I THOUGHT I COULD FIX MY 1939 01:19:45,814 --> 01:19:51,819 PROBLEM, BUT MAYBE I AM THE PROBLEM. 1940 01:19:51,887 --> 01:19:54,922 I HAVE THE HONOR OF BRINGING UP YOUR NEXT COMEDIAN. 1941 01:19:54,990 --> 01:19:58,225 PLEASE MAKE SOME NOISE FOR MY GOOD BUDDY PATRICK MOOTE, 1942 01:19:58,293 --> 01:19:59,760 EVERYBODY, PATRICK MOOTE! 1943 01:19:59,828 --> 01:20:02,696 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1944 01:20:02,764 --> 01:20:04,031 >> ANDREW SLEIGHTER, EVERYBODY. 1945 01:20:04,099 --> 01:20:05,533 GIVE IT UP. 1946 01:20:05,600 --> 01:20:07,902 SO, ANDREW TOLD YOU GUYS I JUST GOT BACK. 1947 01:20:07,969 --> 01:20:08,736 WHOO! BACK! 1948 01:20:08,804 --> 01:20:10,137 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1949 01:20:10,238 --> 01:20:12,306 THANK YOU, GUYS. 1950 01:20:12,374 --> 01:20:13,140 IT WAS PRETTY COOL. 1951 01:20:13,241 --> 01:20:18,646 I GOT TO GO AROUND THE WORLD, SEE SOME STUFF... 1952 01:20:18,713 --> 01:20:20,781 IN ORDER TO MAKE MY PENIS BIGGER. 1953 01:20:20,849 --> 01:20:22,583 [ LAUGHTER ] 1954 01:20:22,651 --> 01:20:25,219 AND IN TAIWAN, THERE'S A GROUP OF PEOPLE. 1955 01:20:25,287 --> 01:20:27,054 THEY'RE THESE MARTIAL ARTISTS, 1956 01:20:27,155 --> 01:20:28,789 AND THEY TIE UP THEIR WHOLE 1957 01:20:28,857 --> 01:20:30,691 SITUATION WITH A ROPE, AND THEN 1958 01:20:30,759 --> 01:20:34,261 THEY HANG WEIGHTS, WHICH, IN TAIWAN, IS PROBABLY COOL. 1959 01:20:34,329 --> 01:20:35,329 24 HOUR FITNESS? 1960 01:20:35,397 --> 01:20:36,397 OH, NOT SO MUCH. 1961 01:20:36,464 --> 01:20:38,032 [ LAUGHTER ] 1962 01:20:38,099 --> 01:20:40,234 PLUS, IT'S LIKE FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND A SPOTTER. 1963 01:20:40,302 --> 01:20:42,136 YOU'RE LIKE, "HEY, YOU WANT TO SPOT ME, BRO?" 1964 01:20:42,204 --> 01:20:42,770 [ LAUGHTER ] 1965 01:20:42,838 --> 01:20:44,138 "MY DICK? DOWN THERE?" 1966 01:20:44,206 --> 01:20:47,374 YOU KNOW? IT'S BEEN -- THIS WHOLE THING THAT I'VE BEEN 1967 01:20:47,442 --> 01:20:48,576 DOING HAS BEEN CRAZY. 1968 01:20:48,643 --> 01:20:50,811 IT'S BEEN WEIRD, AND IT'S BEEN AWESOME. 1969 01:20:50,879 --> 01:20:52,379 BUT THE THING THAT I REALIZED 1970 01:20:52,447 --> 01:20:55,382 THE MOST IS THAT, YOU KNOW, IT'S 1971 01:20:55,450 --> 01:20:58,152 NOT ABOUT THE INSECURITIES THAT YOU HAVE, YOU KNOW? 1972 01:20:58,220 --> 01:21:00,654 YOU GOT TO FIND SOMEBODY WHO'S RIGHT FOR YOU. 1973 01:21:00,722 --> 01:21:02,389 >> IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT THE PENIS. 1974 01:21:02,457 --> 01:21:05,359 >> I THINK THEY'RE ALL BEAUTIFUL, JUST LIKE I THINK ALL 1975 01:21:05,427 --> 01:21:07,528 TREES ARE BEAUTIFUL, IN THEIR OWN WAY. 1976 01:21:07,629 --> 01:21:09,630 >> IT'S WHAT IT IS, AND IT'S FABULOUS. 1977 01:21:09,698 --> 01:21:12,066 IT'S GOT NERVE ENDINGS. 1978 01:21:12,133 --> 01:21:14,001 IT'S YOUR FRIEND. 1979 01:21:14,069 --> 01:21:16,503 [ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ] 1980 01:21:16,571 --> 01:21:19,106 >> MY PENIS TOOK ME TO PLACES I 1981 01:21:19,174 --> 01:21:21,876 NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SEE. 1982 01:21:21,943 --> 01:21:26,947 IT MADE ME DO THINGS I NEVER DREAMT I WOULD DO. 1983 01:21:27,015 --> 01:21:27,548 HEY! 1984 01:21:27,616 --> 01:21:31,185 AND ALONG THE WAY, I MET SOME REALLY GREAT PEOPLE. 1985 01:21:31,253 --> 01:21:32,286 >> [ LAUGHS ] 1986 01:21:32,354 --> 01:21:32,820 >> [ LAUGHS ] 1987 01:21:32,888 --> 01:21:35,322 >> [ LAUGHS ] 1988 01:21:35,390 --> 01:21:35,856 >> BYE! 1989 01:21:35,924 --> 01:21:36,757 >> YEAH. BYE. 1990 01:21:36,825 --> 01:21:38,092 >> AH! 1991 01:21:38,159 --> 01:21:39,660 >> [ CHUCKLES ] 1992 01:21:39,728 --> 01:21:41,228 I STARTED THIS JOURNEY WITH A 1993 01:21:41,296 --> 01:21:44,398 QUESTION -- DOES SIZE MATTER? 1994 01:21:44,466 --> 01:21:45,833 AND IT DID -- TO ME. 1995 01:21:45,901 --> 01:21:47,167 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? 1996 01:21:47,235 --> 01:21:48,535 IT DOESN'T ANYMORE. 1997 01:21:48,603 --> 01:21:49,403 >> HA! 1998 01:21:49,471 --> 01:21:51,338 >> AH! AH! 1999 01:21:51,406 --> 01:21:52,873 >> [ CHANTING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE ] 2000 01:21:52,941 --> 01:21:54,808 >> I THINK THE BIGGEST THING, THE WHOLE THING THAT I'VE 2001 01:21:54,876 --> 01:21:55,843 LEARNED THROUGHOUT THIS ENTIRE 2002 01:21:55,911 --> 01:22:00,547 JOURNEY, IS THAT, JUST BE COOL WITH YOURSELF, YOU KNOW? 2003 01:22:00,615 --> 01:22:01,715 JUST BE GOOD WITH YOURSELF. 2004 01:22:01,783 --> 01:22:03,250 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 2005 01:22:03,318 --> 01:22:04,818 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 2006 01:22:04,886 --> 01:22:09,089 THE AVERAGE DEPTH OF THE FEMALE VAGINA IS 3.2". 2007 01:22:09,157 --> 01:22:13,394 THE AVERAGE LENGTH OF THE MALE PENIS IS 4.4". 2008 01:22:13,461 --> 01:22:15,362 SO, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 2009 01:22:15,430 --> 01:22:16,897 >> MAN, YOU GOT PLENTY OF PEOPLE 2010 01:22:16,965 --> 01:22:19,600 IN YOUR LIFE THAT REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU, AND, YOU KNOW, 2011 01:22:19,668 --> 01:22:20,935 THERE'S FUCKING MILLIONS OF 2012 01:22:21,002 --> 01:22:23,404 GIRLS OUT THERE, BRO, ALL RIGHT? 2013 01:22:23,471 --> 01:22:25,039 TAKE IT EASY. 2014 01:22:25,106 --> 01:22:25,806 >> THANKS A LOT! 2015 01:22:25,874 --> 01:22:26,507 IT'S BEEN GOOD. 2016 01:22:26,574 --> 01:22:27,608 MY NAME IS PATRICK MOOTE. 2017 01:22:27,676 --> 01:22:31,679 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 2018 01:22:31,746 --> 01:22:34,214 >> PATRICK MOOTE, EVERYBODY! 2019 01:22:34,282 --> 01:22:36,450 [ CHUCKLES ] 2020 01:22:43,758 --> 01:22:45,459 >> SO, I GUESS THAT'S ABOUT IT. 2021 01:22:45,527 --> 01:22:47,194 I THINK I CAN SAFELY SAY THAT, 2022 01:22:47,262 --> 01:22:50,464 AT THIS POINT, I AM SICK OF TALKING ABOUT MY DICK. 2023 01:22:50,532 --> 01:22:52,232 AND I'M PRETTY SURE THAT YOU'RE 2024 01:22:52,300 --> 01:22:54,068 ALL SICK OF HEARING ABOUT IT, SO 2025 01:22:54,135 --> 01:22:55,869 I WILL SHUT UP ABOUT MY DICK AND 2026 01:22:55,937 --> 01:22:58,539 TALK ABOUT THIS YOUNG LADY... >> [ CHUCKLES ] 2027 01:22:58,606 --> 01:22:59,573 >> ...WHO IS AWESOME. 2028 01:22:59,641 --> 01:23:01,175 >> MM. SUPER. 2029 01:23:01,242 --> 01:23:05,879 >> ...AND AMAZING, KIND OF PRETTY... >> MM-HMM. 2030 01:23:05,947 --> 01:23:07,514 >> ...GREAT ATTITUDE, LIKE -- 2031 01:23:07,582 --> 01:23:08,949 >> WHY ARE YOU BEING SO WEIRD? 2032 01:23:09,017 --> 01:23:10,084 >> I'M NOT BEING WEIRD. 2033 01:23:10,151 --> 01:23:12,353 I'M JUST TELLING YOU THAT I THINK YOU'RE GREAT. 2034 01:23:12,420 --> 01:23:14,455 >> YOU'RE NOT GONNA PROPOSE TO ME, ARE YOU? 2035 01:23:14,522 --> 01:23:17,257 >> WHAT? IS THAT -- [ LAUGHS ] COME ON! 2036 01:23:17,459 --> 01:23:17,524 >> 2037 01:23:17,592 --> 01:23:21,895 >> ¶ 'CAUSE EVERYTHING MOVES ¶ EVERYTHING PULSES 2038 01:23:21,963 --> 01:23:25,532 ¶ EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶ 2039 01:23:25,600 --> 01:23:29,370 ¶ EVERYTHING MOVES ¶ EVERYTHING PULSES 2040 01:23:29,437 --> 01:23:32,973 ¶ EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶ 2041 01:23:33,041 --> 01:23:36,310 ¶ EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶ 2042 01:23:36,378 --> 01:23:39,880 ¶ IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶ IN THE EYES OF YOU 2043 01:23:39,948 --> 01:23:42,850 ¶ RAMBLE ON, CHUG ALONG 2044 01:23:42,917 --> 01:23:44,718 ¶ AND IF THE BEAT STOPS THUMPING 2045 01:23:44,786 --> 01:23:46,620 THEN SOMETHING'S WRONG ¶ 2046 01:23:46,688 --> 01:23:50,024 ¶ IGNORE IT, SON ¶ IT'S JUST A SONG 2047 01:23:50,091 --> 01:23:52,559 ¶ BUT I CAN SEE YOUR WHITE-KNUCKLED HAND FROM 2048 01:23:52,627 --> 01:23:53,827 HOLDING ON ¶ 2049 01:23:53,928 --> 01:23:58,732 ¶ SO LATELY I WONDER WHY WE RELY ON THE SURE THING ¶ 2050 01:23:58,800 --> 01:24:03,604 ¶ IT'S TOO DAMN COMFORTING ¶ TO STAY ALIVE, OVERDRIVE, 2051 01:24:03,671 --> 01:24:06,040 TILL WE FIND SOMETHING NEW ¶ 2052 01:24:06,107 --> 01:24:09,076 ¶ TO KEEP THE PULSE ALIVE IN YOU ¶ 2053 01:24:09,144 --> 01:24:15,816 ¶ SO MANY ANGLES ¶ SO MANY LINES 2054 01:24:15,884 --> 01:24:22,656 ¶ SO MANY WAYS TO SEE THE SUNRISE ¶ 2055 01:24:22,724 --> 01:24:26,693 ¶ 'CAUSE EVERYTHING MOVES ¶ EVERYTHING PULSES 2056 01:24:26,761 --> 01:24:30,330 ¶ EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶ 2057 01:24:30,398 --> 01:24:34,034 ¶ EVERYTHING MOVES ¶ EVERYTHING PULSES 2058 01:24:34,102 --> 01:24:37,638 ¶ EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶ 2059 01:24:37,705 --> 01:24:40,974 ¶ EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶ 2060 01:24:41,042 --> 01:24:44,411 ¶ IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶ IN THE EYES OF YOU 2061 01:24:44,479 --> 01:24:51,185 ¶ EVEN THOUGH I DON'T KNOW QUITE WHAT TO DO ¶ 2062 01:24:51,252 --> 01:24:58,158 ¶ THE TIME WILL SHOW WHAT WE KNOW IS HARDLY EVER TRUE ¶ 2063 01:24:58,226 --> 01:25:01,462 ¶ I'D RATHER HAVE THEN NEVER HAD THE SPINNING ROOM ¶= 2064 01:25:01,529 --> 01:25:05,599 ¶ THE FEELING THAT I MOVED 2065 01:25:05,667 --> 01:25:07,801 ¶ NO MORE STANDING STILL AT YOUR 2066 01:25:07,869 --> 01:25:09,503 WILL, BUT YOU CAN TRY UNTIL YOU 2067 01:25:09,571 --> 01:25:14,041 SEE THE MOTION'S MOVING YOU ¶ 2068 01:25:14,109 --> 01:25:18,412 ¶ 'CAUSE EVERYTHING MOVES ¶ EVERYTHING PULSES 2069 01:25:18,480 --> 01:25:22,049 ¶ EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶ 2070 01:25:22,117 --> 01:25:25,886 ¶ EVERYTHING MOVES ¶ EVERYTHING PULSES 2071 01:25:25,954 --> 01:25:29,490 ¶ EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶ 2072 01:25:29,557 --> 01:25:32,759 ¶ EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶ 2073 01:25:32,827 --> 01:25:36,597 ¶ EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶ 2074 01:25:36,664 --> 01:25:40,033 ¶ EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶ 2075 01:25:40,101 --> 01:25:40,033 ¶ EYES OF YOU ¶ IN THE EYES OF YOU 143683