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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,961 --> 00:00:03,674 [alarm beeping] - MM. MM. 2 00:00:08,969 --> 00:00:11,972 [upbeat pop music] 3 00:00:11,972 --> 00:00:14,055 ♪ 4 00:00:14,055 --> 00:00:15,306 I DON'T KNOW, IT'S, LIKE, NORMALLY, 5 00:00:15,306 --> 00:00:17,638 I WAKE UP WITH THIS, LIKE, MIXED FEELING 6 00:00:17,638 --> 00:00:19,480 OF DREAD AND INADEQUACY, 7 00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:21,732 LIKE THIS IS GONNA BE THE NEW WORST DAY OF MY LIFE. 8 00:00:21,732 --> 00:00:23,694 BUT THIS MORNING, I WOKE UP, 9 00:00:23,694 --> 00:00:27,488 AND I JUST-- I DON'T KNOW, I FEEL...BETTER. 10 00:00:27,488 --> 00:00:29,780 EVEN THAT HORRIBLE, SCREECHING WAND THINGY 11 00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,702 DOESN'T EVEN BOTHER ME. [metal detector chirps] 12 00:00:31,702 --> 00:00:33,914 OOP, FOUND MY IUD. [chuckles] 13 00:00:33,914 --> 00:00:36,747 IT'S MY IUD, EVERYBODY! 14 00:00:36,747 --> 00:00:38,499 OR IT'S MY BELT. 15 00:00:38,499 --> 00:00:41,001 OH, MY GOD. THAT'S IT. 16 00:00:41,001 --> 00:00:43,714 I'M OVER TRENT. THA-- 17 00:00:43,714 --> 00:00:46,127 I AM SO COMPLETELY OVER HIM, IT'S RIDICULOUS. 18 00:00:46,127 --> 00:00:50,801 IT'S LIKE I HAVE THIS... OH, NEW SENSE OF, LIKE, HOPE. 19 00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:52,093 - I'M GLAD YOU DO. 20 00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:55,976 - RIGHT, GOD, SORRY. YOU... 21 00:00:55,976 --> 00:00:58,099 ROBBED A CHURCH. OKEY-DOKE. 22 00:00:58,099 --> 00:01:00,811 SO THAT'S--THAT'S FUN. 23 00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:02,143 [rock music] 24 00:01:02,143 --> 00:01:03,184 - ♪ HEY, NOW 25 00:01:03,184 --> 00:01:05,526 ♪ 26 00:01:05,526 --> 00:01:07,568 ♪ HEY, NOW 27 00:01:09,610 --> 00:01:11,572 MORNING! - MORNING. 28 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,784 - SHARP SUIT, GUY. - THANKS. 29 00:01:13,784 --> 00:01:16,287 - HEY. YOU'RE GONNA BEAT THIS. 30 00:01:16,287 --> 00:01:17,498 MAYBE. 31 00:01:17,498 --> 00:01:19,120 - ANYTIME. GIVE ME A CALL. 32 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,702 - COUNSELOR. - GOOD MORNING. 33 00:01:21,702 --> 00:01:24,165 - YES, EXACTLY. GOOD MORNING. 34 00:01:24,165 --> 00:01:25,256 MORNING, BECAUSE IT'S BEFORE NOON, 35 00:01:25,256 --> 00:01:27,968 AND GOOD, BECAUSE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN LIKE THE LONGEST TIME, 36 00:01:27,968 --> 00:01:30,921 [laughs] I HAVE NO FEELINGS FOR YOU! 37 00:01:30,921 --> 00:01:32,803 I MEAN, I LOOK AT YOU AND I SEE... 38 00:01:32,803 --> 00:01:34,215 A LITTLE BOY. HI. 39 00:01:34,215 --> 00:01:36,137 - YOU'RE PRETTY. - THANK YOU. 40 00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:38,179 - ALMOST AS PRETTY AS TRENT'S FIANCEE. 41 00:01:38,179 --> 00:01:40,141 - WHAT A DELIGHT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 42 00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:42,603 - I'M IN A MENTORSHIP PROGRAM. THIS IS WALTER. 43 00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,565 - WE'RE SENDING BAD GUYS TO THE SLAMMER. 44 00:01:44,565 --> 00:01:46,066 - YEAH. - OH, CHARMING. 45 00:01:46,066 --> 00:01:48,028 FOR A SECOND, I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU ADOPTED, 46 00:01:48,028 --> 00:01:51,612 WHICH, WOW, WOULD ACTUALLY BE TOTALLY FINE. 47 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,654 GOD, THIS IS AMAZING. LET'S TEST IT. 48 00:01:53,654 --> 00:01:54,995 HOW IS WEDDING PLANNING GOING? 49 00:01:54,995 --> 00:01:56,867 YOU GUYS WRITING YOUR OWN VOWS, 50 00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:58,789 OR IS MARIA JUST GOING WITH COLDPLAY LYRICS? 51 00:01:58,789 --> 00:02:02,002 - OH, WE'RE ACTUALLY PUTTING THAT ON HOLD FOR A LITTLE BIT. 52 00:02:02,002 --> 00:02:04,044 JUST SORTING SOME STUFF OUT. - OH. 53 00:02:04,044 --> 00:02:07,087 THAT IS-- THAT'S SOME KIND OF NEWS, HUH? 54 00:02:07,087 --> 00:02:09,880 WOW, YOU KNOW, OLD ME WOULD BE, LIKE, SECRETLY DELIGHTED, 55 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,753 BUT NEW ME IS, LIKE, "GOOD LUCK WITH THAT." 56 00:02:12,753 --> 00:02:14,175 [laughs] 57 00:02:14,175 --> 00:02:15,966 - SHE TALKS A LOT. - YES, SHE DOES. 58 00:02:18,429 --> 00:02:19,600 - WHEELS CAME OFF. - NO, NO, 'CAUSE SEE, 59 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:22,683 THAT'S JUST IT. TODAY, NOTHING CAN GO WRONG. 60 00:02:22,683 --> 00:02:25,396 [metallic clatter, thud] OH. 61 00:02:25,396 --> 00:02:27,608 THE DEFENDANT STOLE A BUNCH OF CHAIR WHEELS. 62 00:02:27,608 --> 00:02:29,860 WEIRD GUY, LOVES WHEELS. 63 00:02:29,860 --> 00:02:31,442 AND COCAINE. 64 00:02:31,442 --> 00:02:34,195 - GUYS, SOMETHING BIG JUST HAPPENED IN THE BATHROOM. 65 00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:35,446 - OH, COME ON. - AGAIN, CARLOS? 66 00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:38,078 GO TO THE DOCTOR. - [quietly] CHERYL, NO! 67 00:02:38,078 --> 00:02:41,041 I HEARD A RUMOR THAT SOMEONE HERE 68 00:02:41,041 --> 00:02:43,284 IS ON THE SHORT LIST FOR L.A. PUBLIC DEFENDER 69 00:02:43,284 --> 00:02:45,085 OF THE YEAR. - IS IT ME? 70 00:02:45,085 --> 00:02:46,877 - IT'S PHIL. 71 00:02:46,877 --> 00:02:48,789 - IS IT ME? - NO, IT'S PHIL. 72 00:02:48,789 --> 00:02:50,591 - IS IT ME? - IT'S YOU! [laughs] 73 00:02:50,591 --> 00:02:52,213 - WAIT, PUBLIC DEFENDER OF THE YEAR. 74 00:02:52,213 --> 00:02:53,294 THAT'S ACTUALLY A THING? - YEAH. 75 00:02:53,294 --> 00:02:54,885 WE GET BEAT UP SO MUCH IN COURT, 76 00:02:54,885 --> 00:02:56,217 THEY THINK IT'S NICE TO GIVE US A WIN. 77 00:02:56,217 --> 00:02:58,389 - BUT JUST ONE OF US AND ONLY ONCE A YEAR. 78 00:02:58,389 --> 00:03:00,261 - WHO'S "THEY"? - NOBODY KNOWS. 79 00:03:00,261 --> 00:03:02,263 - JESUS CHRIST, MICAH. WHAT-- 80 00:03:02,263 --> 00:03:03,644 WHY DON'T YOU ANNOUNCE YOURSELF BEFORE YOU COME 81 00:03:03,644 --> 00:03:05,856 BE-BOPPING ON IN TO SOMEONE'S SPACE? 82 00:03:05,856 --> 00:03:07,648 - THE AWARD IS GIVEN OUT BY A SEMI-ANONYMOUS COMMITTEE 83 00:03:07,648 --> 00:03:09,400 OF JUDGES, D.A.s, LAW PROFESSORS. 84 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:11,402 YOU KNOW THE TYPE. - PHIL, 85 00:03:11,402 --> 00:03:12,863 WHAT NAME ARE YOU GONNA USE ON YOUR PLAQUE? 86 00:03:12,863 --> 00:03:14,655 - YOU GET A PLAQUE? - YEAH, 87 00:03:14,655 --> 00:03:16,737 IF YOU BRING A $50 CHECK TO THE AWARDS DINNER. 88 00:03:16,737 --> 00:03:18,028 - THERE'S AN AWARDS DINNER? 89 00:03:18,028 --> 00:03:19,240 - YES, WHICH YOU ALSO PAY FOR. 90 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,871 I MEAN, COME ON, DO YOU GUYS ACTUALLY THINK 91 00:03:20,871 --> 00:03:23,874 THAT I HAVE A CHANCE AGAINST MITCH? 92 00:03:23,874 --> 00:03:24,955 - UGH! - MITCH. 93 00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:26,877 - MITCH. 94 00:03:26,877 --> 00:03:28,419 - IT'S EASY TO WIN CASES IN THE PASADENA OFFICE. 95 00:03:28,419 --> 00:03:30,671 IT'S ALL JAYWALKING AND DOG POOP TICKETS. 96 00:03:30,671 --> 00:03:32,092 - MITCH IS THE WORST. 97 00:03:32,092 --> 00:03:33,424 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT METRIC SYSTEM YOU'RE USING, 98 00:03:33,424 --> 00:03:34,755 BUT SOUNDS LIKE MITCH IS THE BEST. 99 00:03:34,755 --> 00:03:36,257 - NO, HE'S THE FAKE-EST, 100 00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:38,969 MOST GLAD-HANDING BROWN-NOSER OF ALL TIME, ALL RIGHT? 101 00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:41,101 IT'S EXACTLY THE KIND OF GUY THAT WINS THESE THINGS, 102 00:03:41,101 --> 00:03:42,973 WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY I WANT NO PART OF IT. 103 00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:44,265 - WELL, WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT. 104 00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:47,308 ALL RIGHT. YEAH. 105 00:03:47,308 --> 00:03:48,899 SO WAIT, YOUR PLAN IS TO JUST DO NOTHING? 106 00:03:48,899 --> 00:03:50,521 - WELL, HAVING A PLAN WOULD INVOLVE PLANNING, 107 00:03:50,521 --> 00:03:52,152 BUT I DON'T PLAN ON PLANNING ANYTHING. 108 00:03:52,152 --> 00:03:53,984 - OKAY, BUT THIS IS OFFICIAL VALIDATION 109 00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:55,155 THAT YOU ARE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE. 110 00:03:55,155 --> 00:03:56,947 HOW DO YOU NOT WANT THAT? - LOOK, 111 00:03:56,947 --> 00:03:59,280 NINA, THE WHOLE THING IS A SHAM, OKAY? 112 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:02,072 THEY VET SOME PEOPLE THAT HAVE HAD A FEW TRIALS GO THEIR WAY, 113 00:04:02,072 --> 00:04:03,073 AND THEN ULTIMATELY, IT JUST BECOMES 114 00:04:03,073 --> 00:04:04,455 THIS BIG ASS-KISSING CONTEST, 115 00:04:04,455 --> 00:04:06,327 AND FRANKLY, I CAN'T FAKE IT. 116 00:04:06,327 --> 00:04:07,708 - OH, YOU CAN'T FAKE IT. SO WHEN YOU KISS ASS, 117 00:04:07,708 --> 00:04:10,671 YOU JUST REALLY GET IN THERE AND GIVE 100% TO THAT ASS? 118 00:04:10,671 --> 00:04:12,252 - SHUT UP. 119 00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:14,755 - HEY. YOU SHOULD LET ME HELP YOU. 120 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,467 I CAN BE, LIKE, YOUR CAMPAIGN MANAGER. 121 00:04:16,467 --> 00:04:17,718 - DON'T YOU HAVE SOMEPLACE TO BE? 122 00:04:17,718 --> 00:04:19,009 - NOPE, VERY SLOW MORNING. 123 00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:20,931 NOW, COMMITTEE MEMBERS CAN BE ANYWHERE, 124 00:04:20,931 --> 00:04:22,973 SO YOU'VE GOT TO DO WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU PICK UP GIRLS. 125 00:04:22,973 --> 00:04:25,145 COMPLIMENT THEM, LAUGH AT THEIR JOKES, 126 00:04:25,145 --> 00:04:26,186 DON'T LOOK AT THEIR BOOBS. 127 00:04:26,186 --> 00:04:27,938 NOW, WHO IS THE JUDGE TODAY? 128 00:04:27,938 --> 00:04:29,980 - IT'S MIYAKI, WHY? - OH, PERFECT. 129 00:04:29,980 --> 00:04:32,152 SHE JUST GOT A NEW PERM. TELL HER YOU LIKE HER HAIR. 130 00:04:32,152 --> 00:04:33,694 - ALL RISE. 131 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:41,111 - [whispering] ABORT. ABORT, ABORT, ABORT. 132 00:04:41,111 --> 00:04:43,163 - PERM-- - OH. 133 00:04:43,163 --> 00:04:45,536 - ISSION TO APPROACH THE BENCH, YOUR HONOR. 134 00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,500 - TO TRESPASSING, POSSESSION, AND LEWD CONDUCT, 135 00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:53,173 MY CLIENT PLEADS GUILTY. - TO JAIL, CRIMINAL. 136 00:04:53,173 --> 00:04:55,005 - YOUR HONOR, MAY WE APPROACH? 137 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,760 NOT THAT YOU'RE NOT FULLY AWARE OF THE GOINGS-ON IN YOUR COURT, 138 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:01,422 YOUR HONOR, BUT THERE WAS A SMALL CHILD 139 00:05:01,422 --> 00:05:03,133 SITTING WITH THE PROSECUTION. 140 00:05:03,133 --> 00:05:05,185 - I'M SORRY, YOUR HONOR. I VOLUNTEER AS A BIG BROTHER. 141 00:05:05,185 --> 00:05:07,227 - OF COURSE YOU DO. - SCHOOL'S OUT THIS WEEK, 142 00:05:07,227 --> 00:05:09,189 AND BOTH PARENTS WORK. - SAY NO MORE. 143 00:05:09,189 --> 00:05:12,643 I WAS A BIG BRO MYSELF. MADE ME THE MAN I AM TODAY. 144 00:05:12,643 --> 00:05:15,356 YOU LEARNING ABOUT THE JUSTICE SYSTEM, YOUNG MAN? 145 00:05:15,356 --> 00:05:18,278 - YEAH, I THINK I GOT IT. CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG. 146 00:05:18,278 --> 00:05:20,781 WE'RE THE GOOD GUYS, THEY'RE THE BAD GUYS, 147 00:05:20,781 --> 00:05:22,152 AND YOU'RE SWITZERLAND? 148 00:05:22,152 --> 00:05:23,784 - WELL, THAT'S PRETTY MUCH THE IDEA. 149 00:05:23,784 --> 00:05:26,076 - YOUR HONOR, I FIND THIS CHILDISH AMUSEMENT 150 00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:28,749 AT MY CLIENT'S EXPENSE EXTREMELY INSENSITIVE. 151 00:05:28,749 --> 00:05:31,161 - OBJECTION. LAME. 152 00:05:31,161 --> 00:05:33,754 - OVERRULED, BUT AGREED. 153 00:05:33,754 --> 00:05:34,955 [laughter] 154 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,088 - YOU DON'T WANT ANY TANGIBLE EVIDENCE 155 00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:40,050 THAT YOU EVEN EXISTED HERE FOR THE PAST 12 YEARS, 156 00:05:40,050 --> 00:05:41,592 LIKE, NO PLAQUE? 157 00:05:41,592 --> 00:05:43,674 - WHY DO I WANT A PLAQUE WHEN I COULD HAVE A SANDWICH? 158 00:05:43,674 --> 00:05:44,845 - [scoffs] - HI THERE. 159 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:45,766 TWO PASTRAMIS, PLEASE. - NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 160 00:05:45,766 --> 00:05:49,430 - OH, RIGHT. ONE PASTRAMI AND NOTHING. 161 00:05:49,430 --> 00:05:52,182 - COUNCILMAN LOPEZ, THE PEZ DISPENSER. 162 00:05:52,182 --> 00:05:54,975 [laughs] - OH, GOD. 163 00:05:54,975 --> 00:05:56,977 - MITCH GRADY, 2014 PUBLIC DEFENDER OF THE YEAR 164 00:05:56,977 --> 00:05:59,189 AND HOPEFULLY, 2015. 165 00:05:59,189 --> 00:06:01,402 I CAN GET DOWN WITH THAT GOATEE, MAN. 166 00:06:01,402 --> 00:06:03,694 - OH, MY GOD, YOU WERE NOT KIDDING ABOUT THIS GUY. 167 00:06:03,694 --> 00:06:05,986 - NO, NO, MITCH POSTS HIMSELF UP HERE 168 00:06:05,986 --> 00:06:07,698 ABOUT THIS TIME EVERY YEAR 169 00:06:07,698 --> 00:06:09,830 TO JERK OFF POTENTIAL COMMITTEE MEMBERS. 170 00:06:09,830 --> 00:06:11,251 - QUINLAN? PHIL QUINLAN? 171 00:06:11,251 --> 00:06:13,123 [laughs] IMAGINE THAT. 172 00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:15,205 HEY, BUT THERE'S ALWAYS ONE JOKE CANDIDATE, RIGHT? 173 00:06:15,205 --> 00:06:17,588 YOU KNOW, HE'S LIKE THE PLUS-SIZED GIRL ON TOP MODEL. 174 00:06:17,588 --> 00:06:19,630 - OH HO HO! - THAT'S TRUE. 175 00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:23,093 - HEY, LOOK WHO IT IS! PHIL...ADELPHIA CREAM CHEESE. 176 00:06:23,093 --> 00:06:24,845 HIDE YOUR BAGELS, EVERYBODY! 177 00:06:24,845 --> 00:06:26,717 [polite laughter] - HOW YOU DOING THERE, MITCH? 178 00:06:26,717 --> 00:06:29,059 - HEY, I HEARD YOU'RE UP FOR P.D.O.T.Y. 179 00:06:29,059 --> 00:06:30,100 - YEP. - ABOUT TIME YOU GOT 180 00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:31,642 SOME "RECOGNISH." 181 00:06:31,642 --> 00:06:33,934 HEY, MAY THE BEST MAN WIN, BUT WATCH OUT! 182 00:06:33,934 --> 00:06:35,476 - OH, OKAY. - HEH HEH. 183 00:06:35,476 --> 00:06:37,648 - MITCH GRADY. - NINA WHITLEY. 184 00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:39,279 - NINA WHITLEY. WHITLEY... 185 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:40,821 OH! "WHITLEY HOUSTON." 186 00:06:40,821 --> 00:06:42,282 - HO, HO. - OH, DIED. 187 00:06:42,282 --> 00:06:46,286 UH, "WHITLEY" WHILE YOU WORK. [whistles] 188 00:06:46,286 --> 00:06:47,828 I'LL WORKSHOP IT. - GREAT. 189 00:06:47,828 --> 00:06:49,870 - I'LL WORKSHOP IT, OKAY. - LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT. 190 00:06:49,870 --> 00:06:51,081 - HEY, DON'T TURN YOUR BACK. KIDNEY PUNCH, KIDNEY PUNCH! 191 00:06:51,081 --> 00:06:52,703 - OH! YEAH. - [laughs] 192 00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:55,496 - WHOA. 193 00:06:55,496 --> 00:06:57,628 - YOU WANT TO HELP ME WIN? I'M IN. 194 00:06:57,628 --> 00:07:00,631 - WHAT, 'CAUSE OF SOME PERSONAL VENDETTA DICK-MEASURING CONTEST? 195 00:07:00,631 --> 00:07:02,172 - YEP. - NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT 196 00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:04,304 I SAID ABOUT LIFE AND TRYING? - NOPE. 197 00:07:04,304 --> 00:07:05,676 I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY OF THAT. 198 00:07:05,676 --> 00:07:07,638 I'M GONNA CRUSH HIM. - WHERE ARE YOU GO-- 199 00:07:07,638 --> 00:07:09,099 WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS WALKING AWAY FROM ME? 200 00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:15,145 - WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO MISS LUNCH, BUDDY. 201 00:07:15,145 --> 00:07:16,937 WE GOT A MAYHEM DEPOSITION IN TEN MINUTES. 202 00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,769 - OH, NO, NO, NO, NO. YOU CANNOT TAKE HIM TO THAT. 203 00:07:18,769 --> 00:07:20,150 - NO, IT'S COOL. 204 00:07:20,150 --> 00:07:21,772 I MADE SURE THERE'LL BE AN EXTRA CHAIR FOR HIM. 205 00:07:21,772 --> 00:07:23,273 - HOW COOL IS IT GONNA BE WHEN HE FINDS OUT 206 00:07:23,273 --> 00:07:25,275 THAT MAYHEM MEANS THE WANTON AND PERMANENT REMOVAL 207 00:07:25,275 --> 00:07:27,117 OF A... [whispers] PERSON'S LIMBS? 208 00:07:27,117 --> 00:07:27,908 - SUPER COOL! 209 00:07:27,908 --> 00:07:29,740 IS THERE GONNA BE BLOOD INVOLVED? 210 00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:31,782 WHAT ARE THEY GONNA USE TO GET THE LIMBS OFF? 211 00:07:31,782 --> 00:07:33,123 - YOU SEE THIS? - WHY DON'T YOU GET A SNACK, 212 00:07:33,123 --> 00:07:34,915 BUDDY? - OKAY, YOU WANT SOMETHING? 213 00:07:34,915 --> 00:07:36,707 - NO. 214 00:07:36,707 --> 00:07:38,539 NO, YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT, BUT I JUST-- 215 00:07:38,539 --> 00:07:40,961 I'M RUNNING REALLY LATE, SO I DON'T KNOW. 216 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,082 COULD YOU MAYBE TAKE HIM FOR A SECOND? 217 00:07:42,082 --> 00:07:43,544 - ME? - COULD BE A CHANCE 218 00:07:43,544 --> 00:07:46,136 TO BROADEN A YOUNG MIND. 219 00:07:46,136 --> 00:07:47,548 - I LIKE THAT BAD GUYS ALWAYS LOSE 220 00:07:47,548 --> 00:07:49,089 AND THAT YOU GET TO WEAR A DRESS. 221 00:07:49,089 --> 00:07:50,931 - ME TOO. 222 00:07:50,931 --> 00:07:52,933 - I WONDER IF HE KNOWS WHAT A BONE SAW IS. 223 00:07:52,933 --> 00:07:54,645 - OKAY, FINE, FINE. I'LL TAKE HIM. 224 00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:58,559 - PROFILES ON EVERY PERSON WHO MIGHT POSSIBLY 225 00:07:58,559 --> 00:08:00,561 BE ON THE COMMITTEE. TOP SECRET SH--. 226 00:08:00,561 --> 00:08:02,903 BRACE YOURSELF. THERE'S SOME NUDE PHOTOS. 227 00:08:02,903 --> 00:08:04,154 - YOU EXPECT ME TO MEMORIZE THIS? 228 00:08:04,154 --> 00:08:05,736 - YEAH, AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. 229 00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:07,568 YOU'RE GONNA NEED IT TONIGHT AT THE RUTHERFORD CLUB. 230 00:08:07,568 --> 00:08:08,819 - GOD, I HATE THAT STUFFY OLD BOYS' CLUB. 231 00:08:08,819 --> 00:08:10,991 - WELL, ON MOST NIGHTS, THESE GUYS ARE THERE, 232 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,744 SO IT'S THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY FOR US TO TALK YOU UP. 233 00:08:13,744 --> 00:08:16,036 AND YOU COULD SMOKE A CIGAR, YOU COULD SIP SOME SCOTCH, 234 00:08:16,036 --> 00:08:17,618 AND YOU COULD SCHMOOZE UNTIL THE HANDSHAKING 235 00:08:17,618 --> 00:08:19,039 GIVES YOU CARPAL TUNNEL AND THE BROWN-NOSING 236 00:08:19,039 --> 00:08:22,793 GIVES YOU PINK EYE. COME ON. 237 00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:24,795 - HEY, RANDOM KID IN OUR OFFICE. 238 00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:27,628 - PRACTICE YOUR SMALL TALK. GOOD TIME TO DO IT. 239 00:08:27,628 --> 00:08:30,050 - NICE SHIRT. - WISH I COULD SAY THE SAME. 240 00:08:30,050 --> 00:08:32,593 - SEE, THIS IS WHY I DON'T TALK TO OLD PEOPLE OR KIDS. 241 00:08:32,593 --> 00:08:34,014 - EVERYONE HERE LOOKS LIKE THE PEOPLE 242 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,637 I RUN OVER IN GRAND THEFT AUTO. 243 00:08:36,637 --> 00:08:38,769 - OKAY, JUST TRY NOT TO BOTHER ANYONE. 244 00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:40,190 HOW ABOUT THAT? 245 00:08:40,190 --> 00:08:41,231 DO YOU LIKE EGG SALAD? 246 00:08:41,231 --> 00:08:42,983 - I'LL STICK WITH THESE. 247 00:08:42,983 --> 00:08:45,696 SO, YOU GUYS ARE, LIKE, THE LOSER LAWYERS? 248 00:08:45,696 --> 00:08:47,407 - BASICALLY. 249 00:08:47,407 --> 00:08:48,989 - NO, LARRY, WE'RE NOT LOSER LAWYERS. 250 00:08:48,989 --> 00:08:51,201 WE DO IMPORTANT WORK HERE. 251 00:08:51,201 --> 00:08:52,953 WE UPHOLD THE RIGHTS OF THOSE WHO NEED IT MOST, 252 00:08:52,953 --> 00:08:54,244 THOSE WHO CAN'T DEFEND THEMSELVES. 253 00:08:54,244 --> 00:08:56,787 - IS THAT WHY THEY MADE TEN 254 00:08:56,787 --> 00:08:58,619 AND NONE OF THEM ARE ABOUT PUBLIC DEFENDERS? 255 00:08:58,619 --> 00:09:00,791 - WELL, THERE SHOULD BE. 256 00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:02,372 SOMETIMES GOOD PEOPLE GET ACCUSED OF A CRIME 257 00:09:02,372 --> 00:09:03,874 THEY DIDN'T DO. 258 00:09:03,874 --> 00:09:06,376 - AND YOU GUYS HELP THEM GET OUT OF TROUBLE? 259 00:09:06,376 --> 00:09:08,008 - NOT USUALLY. 260 00:09:08,008 --> 00:09:09,379 - THEN WHAT'S EVEN THE POINT? 261 00:09:09,379 --> 00:09:12,673 - I...DON'T KNOW. 262 00:09:12,673 --> 00:09:15,015 - TRENT'S LIKE A SUPERHERO CATCHING BAD GUYS 263 00:09:15,015 --> 00:09:15,886 AND SENDING THEM RIGHT WHERE THEY BELONG-- 264 00:09:15,886 --> 00:09:16,887 PRISON. 265 00:09:16,887 --> 00:09:17,888 - NO, NO, NO, NO. 266 00:09:17,888 --> 00:09:19,640 WE'RE THE SUPERHEROES. 267 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:21,732 BECAUSE OF US, PEOPLE GET A SHOT. 268 00:09:21,732 --> 00:09:22,853 - BUT TRENT'S GOT A BETTER OFFICE, 269 00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:25,816 BETTER SUITS, PLUS THAT GUY GETS LUCKY. 270 00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:27,237 A LOT. 271 00:09:27,237 --> 00:09:28,108 - YEAH, I GET LUCKY. 272 00:09:28,108 --> 00:09:29,820 - YOU DO? Larry: YOU DO? 273 00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:31,031 - YES. NO. 274 00:09:31,031 --> 00:09:34,655 I'M GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE, WALTER, OKAY? 275 00:09:34,655 --> 00:09:36,286 BUT WHEN I WAS MARRIED, MY WIFE AND I, 276 00:09:36,286 --> 00:09:39,660 WE--WHY AM I DEFENDING MY SEX LIFE TO A KID? 277 00:09:41,752 --> 00:09:46,006 [background chatter] [dinner music] 278 00:09:46,006 --> 00:09:46,917 - ALL RIGHT. 279 00:09:46,917 --> 00:09:48,879 LET'S BANG THIS OUT. 280 00:09:48,879 --> 00:09:52,262 - YEAH, OKAY, SO I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA WEAR A JOKE TIE, 281 00:09:52,262 --> 00:09:54,675 SO I CAME PREPARED. 282 00:09:54,675 --> 00:09:55,926 - THIS TIE TELLS A STORY. 283 00:09:55,926 --> 00:09:58,058 - OH, YEAH. 284 00:09:58,058 --> 00:09:59,890 OH, MY GOD, IS THAT STORY "I'M A CHEAP JACKASS"? 285 00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:03,273 OKAY. 286 00:10:03,273 --> 00:10:05,726 - ARE YOU KIDDING? ALL RIGHT, FINE. 287 00:10:05,726 --> 00:10:06,687 - COME ON. - I GOT IT. 288 00:10:06,687 --> 00:10:08,278 - PUT YOUR COLLAR UP FIRST. 289 00:10:08,278 --> 00:10:10,861 GOOD, NOW YOU LOOK LIKE A WINNER, 290 00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:12,863 SO JUST ACT LIKE ONE FOR AN HOUR. 291 00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:14,825 - NINA. 292 00:10:14,825 --> 00:10:16,737 THIS IS A SURPRISE. 293 00:10:16,737 --> 00:10:18,448 - HELLO, TRENT. 294 00:10:18,448 --> 00:10:20,080 - AND PHIL. 295 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:21,081 I DIDN'T EXPECT TO FIND YOU HERE. 296 00:10:21,081 --> 00:10:22,292 I ALWAYS THOUGHT OF YOU AS MORE 297 00:10:22,292 --> 00:10:23,704 OF A "TOY WITH YOUR MEAL" KIND OF GUY. 298 00:10:23,704 --> 00:10:25,245 - THAT'S GOOD, THAT'S GOOD, AND YOU KNOW, 299 00:10:25,245 --> 00:10:26,667 AND I PEGGED YOU AS MORE OF A GUY 300 00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,959 WHO S--TS HIS PANTS. - BASED ON--BASED ON WHAT? 301 00:10:28,959 --> 00:10:30,340 - OKAY, WE'RE JUST HERE TO MAKE THE ROUNDS. 302 00:10:30,340 --> 00:10:32,753 AWARDS SEASON AND ALL, SO-- 303 00:10:32,753 --> 00:10:33,884 - OF COURSE. 304 00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:36,927 WELL, I WILL LEAVE YOU TO IT. 305 00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:39,890 HEY, NICE TIE, BY THE WAY. 306 00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:41,852 - OH, I GET IT. I SEE, I SEE. 307 00:10:41,852 --> 00:10:44,104 YOU'RE TRYING TO TURN ME INTO A LITTLE MINIATURE VERSION 308 00:10:44,104 --> 00:10:45,726 OF HIM, AREN'T YOU? THAT'S NOT GONNA WORK. 309 00:10:45,726 --> 00:10:48,188 I AM OBVIOUSLY MUCH TALLER AND HAVE WAY BETTER BREATH. 310 00:10:48,188 --> 00:10:51,111 - OKAY, NO, BUT LOOK AT HIM. 311 00:10:51,111 --> 00:10:52,152 HE'S THE KING OF THE COCKTAIL PARTY. 312 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,774 YOU CAN DO THIS. 313 00:10:53,774 --> 00:10:54,695 YOU JUST HAVE TO GIVE YOURSELF A SHOT. 314 00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:56,867 I MEAN, OR YOU CAN LET HIM WIN. 315 00:10:56,867 --> 00:10:58,779 - SO JUROR NUMBER FOUR, 316 00:10:58,779 --> 00:11:01,411 THIS GUY JACK SAYS, 317 00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:03,333 "MITCH, I LIKE YOU. 318 00:11:03,333 --> 00:11:07,287 YOU'VE GOT HEART IN SPADES." 319 00:11:07,287 --> 00:11:08,839 men: OH! [chuckling] 320 00:11:08,839 --> 00:11:11,171 - ALL RIGHT. LET'S GIVE IT A SHOT. 321 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,292 - OKAY. 322 00:11:12,292 --> 00:11:14,755 AFTER YOU. 323 00:11:14,755 --> 00:11:16,556 - IT ALL STARTS WITH FREEDOM OF SPEECH. 324 00:11:16,556 --> 00:11:20,140 - ISN'T THAT, UM, LAW PROFESSOR SACKS OR SOMETHING? 325 00:11:20,140 --> 00:11:22,352 - YEAH, YOU READ MY FILES. 326 00:11:22,352 --> 00:11:25,145 - THE CONSTITUTION SELDOM CHANGES. 327 00:11:25,145 --> 00:11:28,148 OUR UNDERSTANDING, HOWEVER-- - I KEEP SAYING 328 00:11:28,148 --> 00:11:30,771 "IF THE CONSTITUTION IS A LIVING DOCUMENT, 329 00:11:30,771 --> 00:11:33,113 THEN WHY ISN'T IT RETURNING MY CALLS?" 330 00:11:33,113 --> 00:11:34,364 NINA WHITLEY, PLEASURE. 331 00:11:34,364 --> 00:11:35,736 - [laughs] 332 00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:37,197 "RETURNING MY"-- 333 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:38,578 - MY COLLEAGUE, PHIL QUINLAN, 334 00:11:38,578 --> 00:11:40,320 ONCE USED THE FIRST AMENDMENT ON A GRAFFITI CASE. 335 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,162 HE CALLED IT THE "BATHROOM STALL DEFENSE." 336 00:11:42,162 --> 00:11:43,784 NOW, THAT'S SOMETHING I NEVER LEARNED AT STANFORD. 337 00:11:43,784 --> 00:11:46,126 - YEAH, YEAH, IT GOT ME AN ACQUITTAL. 338 00:11:46,126 --> 00:11:49,129 PLUS, I GOT TO LOOK AT SOME PICASSO-ESQUE DRAWINGS 339 00:11:49,129 --> 00:11:50,881 OF MALE GENITALIA. 340 00:11:50,881 --> 00:11:51,922 - [laughs] 341 00:11:51,922 --> 00:11:54,134 WELL, EVERY JOB HAS ITS PERKS, EH? 342 00:11:54,134 --> 00:11:55,836 - THEY'RE EATING YOU UP. 343 00:11:55,836 --> 00:11:57,177 KEEP GOING. 344 00:11:57,177 --> 00:12:00,050 - SO, CONSTITUTION GUY, HUH? 345 00:12:00,050 --> 00:12:02,973 YOU KNOW THERE'S A MAP ON THE BACK. 346 00:12:02,973 --> 00:12:06,186 YOU GUYS DIDN'T SEE NATIONAL TREASURE? 347 00:12:06,186 --> 00:12:08,228 - I SEE YOU'RE STILL A HIT WITH THE AARP CROWD, HUH? 348 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,810 - YEAH, AND I SEE YOU STILL COME HERE 349 00:12:09,810 --> 00:12:10,851 EVERY TUESDAY NIGHT FOR DATE NIGHT. 350 00:12:10,851 --> 00:12:12,272 - OLD HABITS. 351 00:12:12,272 --> 00:12:14,404 - WHERE IS MARIA? 352 00:12:14,404 --> 00:12:15,856 - SHE WASN'T FEELING UP TO IT TONIGHT, 353 00:12:15,856 --> 00:12:18,198 SO I'M TRAVELING SOLO. 354 00:12:18,198 --> 00:12:21,862 HEY, I NOTICED YOU BOUGHT PHIL MY FAVORITE TIE. 355 00:12:21,862 --> 00:12:23,493 YOU GUYS AREN'T, UH... 356 00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:25,916 - UH... [chuckles] 357 00:12:25,916 --> 00:12:29,209 NO. NO. NO. 358 00:12:29,209 --> 00:12:30,210 GOD, NO, NO, NO. 359 00:12:30,210 --> 00:12:31,001 - GOOD. - YEAH. 360 00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:32,422 - I MEAN, NOT THAT I CARE. 361 00:12:32,422 --> 00:12:33,834 - YEAH. NOT THAT I CARE IF YOU CARE. 362 00:12:33,834 --> 00:12:35,255 I DON'T CARE IF YOU-- 363 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:36,877 HOW GREAT IS IT THAT I DON'T CARE? 364 00:12:36,877 --> 00:12:37,838 - THAT IS GREAT. - YEAH. 365 00:12:37,838 --> 00:12:39,049 - TRENTER'S INSURANCE. 366 00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:40,510 NINA SCHNITZEL. [chuckles] 367 00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:42,512 I'M WORKING ON IT. DON'T SUE ME. 368 00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:43,513 - THAT IS MY CUE. 369 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:46,266 - HEY, I SAW YOU TALKING TO THE ATTORNEY GENERAL. 370 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,938 INTRODUCE ME. - NAH. 371 00:12:47,938 --> 00:12:48,979 - BOO. 372 00:12:48,979 --> 00:12:50,851 - HEY, MAY I GET A WHISKEY, NEAT? 373 00:12:50,851 --> 00:12:53,103 GOD, THAT IS THE LONGEST I'VE EVER TALKED 374 00:12:53,103 --> 00:12:54,945 ABOUT MY JOB WHILE NOT AT WORK. 375 00:12:54,945 --> 00:12:56,276 - THAT WAS NOT EVEN TWO MINUTES. 376 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:59,990 - I KNOW. I'M EXHAUSTED. 377 00:12:59,990 --> 00:13:01,491 - YOU KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS, RIGHT? 378 00:13:01,491 --> 00:13:03,243 YOU ARE JUST AS GOOD AS ANYBODY HERE. 379 00:13:03,243 --> 00:13:05,405 - WHAT IS THIS TO YOU, ANYWAY? WHY ARE YOU DOING ALL THIS? 380 00:13:05,405 --> 00:13:06,827 - I'M DOING THIS BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT. 381 00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:09,209 YOU'RE ACTUALLY ONE OF THE BEST LAWYERS I KNOW, 382 00:13:09,209 --> 00:13:12,002 AND ONE OF THE BEST PEOPLE I KNOW, 383 00:13:12,002 --> 00:13:13,463 AND I REFUSE TO LET YOU BRING YOURSELF DOWN 384 00:13:13,463 --> 00:13:16,006 WITH YOUR WHOLE "I DON'T GIVE A CRAP" SHTICK. 385 00:13:16,006 --> 00:13:17,417 OKAY? 386 00:13:17,417 --> 00:13:19,920 SO HOW 'BOUT WE GET BACK OUT THERE? 387 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:22,222 - AFTER YOU. 388 00:13:26,516 --> 00:13:29,269 [Franz Ferdinand's Right Actions plays] 389 00:13:29,269 --> 00:13:31,481 ♪ 390 00:13:31,481 --> 00:13:34,524 - ♪ COME HOME, PRACTICALLY ALL ♪ 391 00:13:34,524 --> 00:13:37,858 ♪ IS NEARLY FORGIVEN 392 00:13:37,858 --> 00:13:39,279 ♪ OH 393 00:13:39,279 --> 00:13:42,442 ♪ RIGHT THOUGHTS, RIGHT WORDS ♪ 394 00:13:42,442 --> 00:13:44,995 ♪ RIGHT ACTIONS 395 00:13:47,407 --> 00:13:49,950 ♪ BUT HOW CAN WE LEAVE YOU 396 00:13:49,950 --> 00:13:52,953 ♪ TO A SATURDAY NIGHT 397 00:13:52,953 --> 00:13:57,007 ♪ OR A SUNDAY MORNING 398 00:13:58,508 --> 00:14:01,091 ♪ GOOD MORNING 399 00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:08,848 ♪ 400 00:14:10,971 --> 00:14:14,024 ♪ RIGHT THOUGHTS, RIGHT WORDS ♪ 401 00:14:14,024 --> 00:14:16,066 - AND I TOLD HIM, "YOU TURN THIS SCHOONER BACK TO SHORE, 402 00:14:16,066 --> 00:14:18,108 OR I'M GOING TO MOUNT YOUR HEAD IN MY STUDY." 403 00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:19,940 [laughter] 404 00:14:19,940 --> 00:14:25,946 ♪ 405 00:14:28,248 --> 00:14:30,911 - OBJECTION! HE TOTALLY DID IT. 406 00:14:30,911 --> 00:14:33,373 - OBJECTION? YOUR FACE DID IT. 407 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,545 CAN WE MAKE HIM STOP TALKING? 408 00:14:35,545 --> 00:14:37,337 - THIS KID THINKS TRENT'S A HERO. 409 00:14:37,337 --> 00:14:38,498 CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? 410 00:14:38,498 --> 00:14:40,590 HE'S GOT IT TOTALLY BACKWARDS. 411 00:14:40,590 --> 00:14:42,592 BUT I'VE GOT THIS TERRIBLE CASE COMING UP. 412 00:14:42,592 --> 00:14:44,965 GRANDMA KEEPS SELLING ICE CREAM WITHOUT A LICENSE. 413 00:14:44,965 --> 00:14:46,136 TRENT'S GUNNING FOR TIME. 414 00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:48,058 WE'LL SEE WHO THE HERO IS THEN. 415 00:14:48,058 --> 00:14:49,429 IT'S GONNA BE A SOB FEST. 416 00:14:49,429 --> 00:14:51,561 CAN'T WAIT. [chuckles] 417 00:14:51,561 --> 00:14:53,974 - WELL, I'M GLAD YOU'RE THE OFFICE'S PASSIONATE IDEALIST. 418 00:14:53,974 --> 00:14:55,976 - BY THE WAY, HOW DID IT GO LAST NIGHT? 419 00:14:55,976 --> 00:14:57,017 DID YOU SELL YOUR SOUL TO GET A PLAQUE 420 00:14:57,017 --> 00:14:58,568 YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO PAY FOR? 421 00:14:58,568 --> 00:15:00,981 - [scoffs] YOU KNOW HOW NINA CAN BE 422 00:15:00,981 --> 00:15:04,985 OVERBEARING AND REALLY ANNOYING. 423 00:15:04,985 --> 00:15:07,157 WELL, LAST NIGHT WAS DIFFERENT. 424 00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:08,448 IT WAS NICE. 425 00:15:08,448 --> 00:15:10,160 - NICE, LIKE-- - NO, NO, NO, NO, 426 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,371 NOT LIKE THAT. 427 00:15:11,371 --> 00:15:13,583 JUST, SHE HELPED ME FEEL OKAY 428 00:15:13,583 --> 00:15:15,415 IN A FANCY WORLD I DON'T BELONG. 429 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,537 - SOUNDS LIKE TITANIC. - NO. 430 00:15:18,999 --> 00:15:21,211 SHE HELPED ME FAKE IT, 431 00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:22,672 YOU KNOW, WITH ALL THOSE PEOPLE. 432 00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:24,594 - AH, MY FAIR LADY. 433 00:15:24,594 --> 00:15:26,596 - NO, NO, NO. 434 00:15:26,596 --> 00:15:27,597 IT'S JUST, IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE BEEN 435 00:15:27,597 --> 00:15:28,969 IN A RELATIONSHIP. 436 00:15:28,969 --> 00:15:32,182 THE TEAMWORK... - UH-HUH. 437 00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:34,184 - FELT GOOD. 438 00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:36,056 JUST FOR ONE DAY. 439 00:15:36,056 --> 00:15:38,148 - THAT'S MOULIN ROUGE. - NOT MOULIN ROUGE. 440 00:15:43,523 --> 00:15:44,614 - AFTER REPEATED CITATIONS, 441 00:15:44,614 --> 00:15:45,695 MS. GONZALEZ HAS ONCE AGAIN 442 00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:48,158 VIOLATED SECTION 16, TITLE 21, 443 00:15:48,158 --> 00:15:50,620 VENDING DAIRY PRODUCTS WITHOUT A LICENSE. 444 00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:52,993 - NO PERMIT, MUST NOT ACQUIT. 445 00:15:52,993 --> 00:15:56,706 - YOUR HONOR, MS. GONZALEZ'S ONLY CRIME 446 00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,168 WAS SELLING ICE CREAM. 447 00:15:58,168 --> 00:15:59,289 - WHAT? 448 00:15:59,289 --> 00:16:01,421 - SHE VIOLATED MULTIPLE HEALTH CODES 449 00:16:01,421 --> 00:16:03,003 AND PERMIT LAWS FOR THE FOURTH TIME. 450 00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:05,045 - WAIT, WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT SELLING ICE CREAM? 451 00:16:05,045 --> 00:16:06,176 - NO TALKING. 452 00:16:06,176 --> 00:16:07,217 IT WAS CUTE AT FIRST. 453 00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:09,049 NOW, I'M OVER IT. 454 00:16:09,049 --> 00:16:10,680 SO THE PEOPLE ARE SEEKING JAIL TIME? 455 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:12,052 - THAT IS CORRECT, YOUR HONOR. 456 00:16:12,052 --> 00:16:13,723 - THAT LADY CAN'T GO TO JAIL! 457 00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:15,305 - WALTER, SHH. - ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 458 00:16:15,305 --> 00:16:17,097 SHE DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING. 459 00:16:17,097 --> 00:16:19,099 SHE DOESN'T DESERVE TO GO TO JAIL. 460 00:16:19,099 --> 00:16:19,939 - WALTER, BE QUIET. 461 00:16:19,939 --> 00:16:20,940 - UGH. 462 00:16:20,940 --> 00:16:22,062 - YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER. 463 00:16:22,062 --> 00:16:24,654 - YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER! 464 00:16:24,654 --> 00:16:26,946 - A FIVE-MINUTE RECESS YOUR HONOR? 465 00:16:26,946 --> 00:16:28,658 - SURE, WHATEVER. IT'S NOT LIKE 466 00:16:28,658 --> 00:16:29,819 I'M IN CHARGE OR ANYTHING. 467 00:16:31,321 --> 00:16:32,242 - WALTER, WAIT, WAIT. 468 00:16:32,242 --> 00:16:34,204 - WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? 469 00:16:34,204 --> 00:16:36,036 - IT'S MY JOB. 470 00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:38,078 - SHE WAS JUST SELLING ICE CREAM. 471 00:16:38,078 --> 00:16:39,619 - LOOK. 472 00:16:39,619 --> 00:16:40,920 THE LAW'S THE LAW. 473 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:42,832 - AND SOMETIMES, THE LAW COMES DOWN HARD 474 00:16:42,832 --> 00:16:44,624 ON INNOCENT NICE OLD LADIES. 475 00:16:44,624 --> 00:16:45,925 - WHY AREN'T YOU STOPPING HIM? 476 00:16:45,925 --> 00:16:48,128 - I GOT HER THE BEST DEAL I POSSIBLY COULD. 477 00:16:48,128 --> 00:16:50,220 - SO HE'S EVIL AND YOU'RE USELESS. 478 00:16:50,220 --> 00:16:52,842 UGH! 479 00:16:55,685 --> 00:16:58,348 - HEY, SO I HEAR IT'S IN THE BAG. 480 00:16:58,348 --> 00:16:59,849 [applause] - ALL RIGHT, HEY HEY. 481 00:16:59,849 --> 00:17:00,850 HOLD YOUR HORSES, ALL RIGHT. 482 00:17:00,850 --> 00:17:01,941 NOTHING'S IN THE BAG. 483 00:17:01,941 --> 00:17:04,064 EXCEPT BOOZE? - YEAH. 484 00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:04,984 - WELL, THAT SHOULD NEVER BE IN A BAG. 485 00:17:04,984 --> 00:17:07,147 LET'S GO. POUR THESE OUT. 486 00:17:07,147 --> 00:17:09,529 - I CANNOT WAIT TO MOUNT MITCH'S HEAD. 487 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,991 - THERE'S A MITCH I'D LIKE TO SCRATCH. 488 00:17:11,991 --> 00:17:14,114 YEAH, THAT WAS...SORRY. - OHH...OH, THAT'S GROSS. 489 00:17:14,114 --> 00:17:16,956 - OH, THERE HE IS. 490 00:17:16,956 --> 00:17:18,868 SPEAK OF THE DEVIL AND HE APPEARS. 491 00:17:18,868 --> 00:17:21,371 - I CAME TO CONCEDE THE AWARD. 492 00:17:21,371 --> 00:17:23,123 JUST READ THE OFFICIAL TWEET. 493 00:17:23,123 --> 00:17:25,875 - WOW, WELL I GUESS I'M NOT A PLUS-SIZED MODEL, AM I? 494 00:17:25,875 --> 00:17:27,167 I COULD TOTALLY GET CATALOG WORK. 495 00:17:27,167 --> 00:17:29,549 - ACTUALLY, I'M CONCEDING TO NINA. 496 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:30,760 CONGRATULATIONS. 497 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:32,672 YOU ARE THE P.D. OF THE YEAR. 498 00:17:32,672 --> 00:17:33,933 - WAIT, [chuckles] 499 00:17:33,933 --> 00:17:34,974 I'M P.D. OF THE YEAR? 500 00:17:34,974 --> 00:17:36,886 [chuckles] I'M P.D. OF THE-- 501 00:17:36,886 --> 00:17:39,729 I'M P.D. OF THE YEAR. 502 00:17:39,729 --> 00:17:41,731 - HEY, CONGRATS, HUH? 503 00:17:41,731 --> 00:17:43,103 HMM. 504 00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:46,106 WOW, THESE ARE LAUGHABLY SMALL CUPS. 505 00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:47,947 I'M GOING TO BE IN THE BAR 506 00:17:47,947 --> 00:17:49,989 WHERE THEY HAVE REGULAR-SIZED ALCOHOLIC CONTAINERS. 507 00:17:49,989 --> 00:17:51,691 - COP A PHIL. 508 00:17:51,691 --> 00:17:52,902 TOUGH LOSS. 509 00:17:52,902 --> 00:17:55,115 I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I LOST-- 510 00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:57,197 WHAT ARE YOU-- WHAT? 511 00:17:57,197 --> 00:17:58,748 - THAT WAS MY MOTHER'S TIE. 512 00:17:58,748 --> 00:18:01,501 - THERE YOU GO. 513 00:18:01,501 --> 00:18:03,833 - PHIL, I HAD-- I HAD NO--I DIDN'T KNOW. 514 00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:11,971 - HEY, CONGRATULATIONS. - OH, THANKS. 515 00:18:11,971 --> 00:18:13,513 - WELL, WAY TO GO THERE, NINO. 516 00:18:13,513 --> 00:18:15,715 - THANK YOU. 517 00:18:15,715 --> 00:18:17,927 - HEY, COUNSELOR. 518 00:18:17,927 --> 00:18:19,219 - HEY. - HEARD ABOUT YOUR WIN. 519 00:18:19,219 --> 00:18:20,600 DID A GOOD JOB AT THE CLUB. 520 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,182 - YEAH, A LITTLE TOO GOOD, APPARENTLY. 521 00:18:22,182 --> 00:18:24,224 - HEY, SOMETIMES IT'S LONELY AT THE TOP. 522 00:18:24,224 --> 00:18:27,026 YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE CRUSHED THE HANSON'S EASTER EGG HUNT? 523 00:18:27,026 --> 00:18:29,609 - YEAH, AND NO ONE WOULD SIT WITH US AT BRUNCH AFTERWARDS. 524 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,571 - YEAH, BUT IT FELT GOOD 'CAUSE WE WERE WINNERS. 525 00:18:31,571 --> 00:18:33,733 - YEAH, WE WERE WINNERS WITH 85 INEDIBLE HARD-BOILED EGGS. 526 00:18:33,733 --> 00:18:35,074 - MMM. 527 00:18:35,074 --> 00:18:36,786 - I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW I GOT IN THE RUNNING 528 00:18:36,786 --> 00:18:37,787 FOR THIS STUPID THING. 529 00:18:37,787 --> 00:18:39,539 - WELL, I RECOMMENDED YOU. 530 00:18:39,539 --> 00:18:40,830 - WHAT? 531 00:18:40,830 --> 00:18:42,162 WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? 532 00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:45,165 - YOU'VE DONE AN AMAZING JOB HERE. 533 00:18:45,165 --> 00:18:47,957 HEY, CONGRATS ON THE AWARD 534 00:18:47,957 --> 00:18:50,590 AND ON GETTING OVER ME. 535 00:18:50,590 --> 00:18:51,751 - THANK YOU. 536 00:18:56,516 --> 00:18:57,387 PHIL. 537 00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:59,219 PHIL, I AM SO SORRY. 538 00:18:59,219 --> 00:19:00,260 I DID NOT KNOW THAT THAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN. 539 00:19:00,260 --> 00:19:01,391 - IT'S FINE. 540 00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:03,223 - NO, IT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE. 541 00:19:03,223 --> 00:19:05,185 IT WAS LIKE PEARL HARBOR AND I WAS THE HARBOR. 542 00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:06,476 OR NO, SORRY, I WAS JAPAN. 543 00:19:06,476 --> 00:19:07,817 ACTUALLY, I THINK THAT THE AWARD 544 00:19:07,817 --> 00:19:09,189 WOULD PROBABLY BE JAPAN. 545 00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:10,980 - SERIOUSLY, NINA, IT'S FINE. - NO, IT'S NOT FINE. 546 00:19:10,980 --> 00:19:12,272 YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE FURIOUS WITH ME. 547 00:19:12,272 --> 00:19:14,113 - YEAH, WELL, I'M NOT. SO, WE'RE FINE. 548 00:19:14,113 --> 00:19:15,825 - OKAY, EVERY TIME YOU SAY YOU'RE FINE, 549 00:19:15,825 --> 00:19:17,827 YOU SOUND LESS FINE. - [sighs] 550 00:19:17,827 --> 00:19:21,120 LISTEN, NINA, THE TRUTH IS IT'S A MEANINGLESS AWARD. 551 00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:22,622 - YEAH, THAT YOU DESERVE. 552 00:19:22,622 --> 00:19:23,493 - YEAH, WELL YOU REALLY PUT A LOT OF EFFORT 553 00:19:23,493 --> 00:19:25,995 INTO MAKING ME THINK THAT I HAD A SHOT. 554 00:19:25,995 --> 00:19:29,709 - WHAT? NO, I DIDN'T MEAN-- I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT. 555 00:19:29,709 --> 00:19:31,130 I MEAN, I DID-- - LOOK, IT'S MY FAULT, OKAY? 556 00:19:31,130 --> 00:19:32,882 NONE OF THIS STUFF USED TO EVER MATTER TO ME, 557 00:19:32,882 --> 00:19:36,005 BUT SOMEHOW YOU CONVINCED ME TO CARE AND I JUST, 558 00:19:36,005 --> 00:19:37,677 I SHOULDN'T HAVE FALLEN FOR IT. 559 00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:38,928 - FALLEN FOR WHAT? 560 00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:41,261 IS IT SO BAD TO CARE ABOUT SOMETHING 561 00:19:41,261 --> 00:19:42,262 FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE? 562 00:19:42,262 --> 00:19:43,603 - STUPID! 563 00:19:43,603 --> 00:19:44,934 IDIOT! 564 00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:46,015 FAILURE! 565 00:19:46,015 --> 00:19:47,517 - SO WHAT? I CAN END UP LIKE THAT? 566 00:19:47,517 --> 00:19:49,519 - PHILM NOIR. 567 00:19:49,519 --> 00:19:51,311 NINASTE. [chuckles] 568 00:19:51,311 --> 00:19:53,693 OOPS, JUST ON MY WAY TO THE RECYCLING PLANT. 569 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:54,814 - EAT A DICK, MITCH. 570 00:19:54,814 --> 00:19:58,318 - WILL DO. [sobs] 571 00:19:58,318 --> 00:20:00,280 - LOOK, I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU. 572 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:02,121 - NO, YOU WERE HELPING YOURSELF, NINA. 573 00:20:02,121 --> 00:20:04,033 IT'S NEVER ABOUT ANYBODY BUT YOU. 574 00:20:04,033 --> 00:20:05,955 - YOU THINK I DID THIS FOR ME? 575 00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:07,086 I JUST WANTED YOU TO WANT IT. 576 00:20:07,086 --> 00:20:09,128 - WHAT AM I, SOME PROJECT TO YOU? 577 00:20:09,128 --> 00:20:11,751 YOU TRYING TO TURN ME INTO YOUR DOUCHE BAG EX-BOYFRIEND? 578 00:20:11,751 --> 00:20:12,962 HUH? WELL, IT'S NOT GONNA WORK. 579 00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:13,963 I'M NOT THAT GUY, OKAY? 580 00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:15,425 I WILL NEVER BE THAT GUY. 581 00:20:15,425 --> 00:20:17,046 - FINE. 582 00:20:17,046 --> 00:20:18,508 WELL THEN, FINE. 583 00:20:24,103 --> 00:20:25,845 - IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE A GIRL! 584 00:20:25,845 --> 00:20:28,107 YOU WON BECAUSE YOU'RE A GIRL! 585 00:20:28,107 --> 00:20:31,481 - YEAH, 'CAUSE US GALS, WE JUST GET IT ALL HANDED TO US. 586 00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:32,772 - ENJOY YOUR REIGN. 587 00:20:32,772 --> 00:20:34,694 - OKAY. 588 00:20:34,694 --> 00:20:36,696 OH, WHAT A SAD MAN. 589 00:20:43,623 --> 00:20:45,365 WHATEVER. 590 00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:59,088 [chuckles] 591 00:20:59,088 --> 00:21:00,089 [knocking] 592 00:21:00,089 --> 00:21:02,342 OH, MM-HMM. 593 00:21:02,342 --> 00:21:05,475 OKAY. 594 00:21:05,475 --> 00:21:07,977 I KNEW YOU'D BE BACK FOR THIS BEAUT. 595 00:21:10,310 --> 00:21:13,353 - MARIA AND I ARE DONE. 596 00:21:13,353 --> 00:21:14,394 - I'M SO SORRY. 597 00:21:14,394 --> 00:21:17,817 - DON'T BE. - OH. 598 00:21:22,952 --> 00:21:24,454 - HEY, MR. CARLOS. 599 00:21:24,454 --> 00:21:25,955 - HEY WALT-- CLIPPERS! 600 00:21:25,955 --> 00:21:27,577 GLEN "BIG BABY" DAVIS. 601 00:21:27,577 --> 00:21:28,708 - I'M REALLY NOT A BABY. 602 00:21:28,708 --> 00:21:30,330 I'M A GROWN-ASS MAN. 603 00:21:30,330 --> 00:21:32,211 - THIS IS WHAT A BIG BROTHER'S ALL ABOUT. 604 00:21:32,211 --> 00:21:35,214 JUST LADIES, BENTLEYS, AND SHOPPING SPREES. 605 00:21:35,214 --> 00:21:36,376 - YOU'RE A BIG BROTHER. 606 00:21:36,376 --> 00:21:38,338 - YEAH. I LOVE THE KIDS. 607 00:21:38,338 --> 00:21:39,419 ESPECIALLY THIS ONE. 608 00:21:39,419 --> 00:21:40,510 HE'S SO CUTE. 609 00:21:40,510 --> 00:21:43,633 MC WALT. SHOW HIM HOW YOU MOONWALK. 610 00:21:43,633 --> 00:21:45,345 - MOONWALK. MOONWALK. 611 00:21:45,345 --> 00:21:46,386 - ISN'T THAT GOOD? 612 00:21:46,386 --> 00:21:47,637 - WELL, IT'S-- 613 00:21:47,637 --> 00:21:50,640 - TELL HIM IT'S GREAT. - IT'S GREAT. 43765

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