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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:04,505 - IN CONCLUSION, LET ME JUST PUT THIS 2 00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:07,128 AS PLAINLY AND SIMPLY AS I CAN. 3 00:00:07,128 --> 00:00:10,261 IF YOU CAN NOT ELIMINATE ANY COLLATERAL BURDEN THAT WOULD 4 00:00:10,261 --> 00:00:13,054 VALIDATE THE CONSTITUTIONALITY OF MR. ANDRE'S APPREHENSION, 5 00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:15,476 THAN PROBABLY CAUSE FOR THE WARRANT MUST BE EXCORIATED. 6 00:00:15,476 --> 00:00:18,229 EXCORIATE, FROM THE LATIN, EXCORIATES, 7 00:00:18,229 --> 00:00:21,142 PAST PARTICIPLE, EXCORIARE, "EX" MEANING OUT OF, 8 00:00:21,142 --> 00:00:23,524 PLUS "CORIUM," MEANING SKIN, 9 00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:26,317 WHICH MAKES MY CLIENT... NOT GUILTY. 10 00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:29,570 I MEAN, DOES IT GET ANY SIMPLER THAN THAT? 11 00:00:29,570 --> 00:00:34,075 - YES, IT DOES, IT DOES GET SIMPLER THAN THAT. 12 00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:37,788 - THE DEFENSE RESTS, YOUR HONOR. 13 00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:38,869 NAILED IT. 14 00:00:38,869 --> 00:00:41,582 - IS THAT HOW YOU DO TRIALS IN CORPORATE LAW? 15 00:00:41,582 --> 00:00:44,004 - OH, NO, NO, NO, WE NEVER SAW THE INSIDE OF A COURTROOM. 16 00:00:44,004 --> 00:00:45,376 NO, IT WAS ALL JUST FILING BRIEFS, 17 00:00:45,376 --> 00:00:47,007 AND CONFERENCE CALLS WITH DUBAI. 18 00:00:47,007 --> 00:00:49,170 CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS WAS MY FIRST JURY TRIAL? 19 00:00:49,170 --> 00:00:50,301 - NO. - YUP. 20 00:00:50,301 --> 00:00:52,763 - NOW, DO YOU THINK IT WAS TOO MUCH READING ALL OF 21 00:00:52,763 --> 00:00:54,014 MIRANDA VERSUS ARIZONA? 22 00:00:54,014 --> 00:00:55,476 - NO, I'M--I'M SURE THE BUS DRIVER 23 00:00:55,476 --> 00:00:56,977 AND PROFESSIONAL BIRTHDAY CLOWN GOT IT. 24 00:00:56,977 --> 00:00:59,390 - YEAH, IT LOOKS LIKE EVERYONE'S ALL ABOARD 25 00:00:59,390 --> 00:01:01,182 THE "NOT GUILTY" EXPRESS. 26 00:01:01,182 --> 00:01:04,945 NEXT UP, "NOT GUILTY" TOWN. [laughs] 27 00:01:04,945 --> 00:01:06,687 - WILL THE DEFENDANT RISE. 28 00:01:06,687 --> 00:01:10,030 THE CLERK WILL NOW READ THE VERDICTS. 29 00:01:10,030 --> 00:01:11,322 - ON COUNT ONE IN THE MATTER OF 30 00:01:11,322 --> 00:01:12,993 PEOPLE VERSUS NEIL GABRIEL ANDRE, 31 00:01:12,993 --> 00:01:16,197 WE THE PEOPLE FIND THE DEFENDANT GUILTY. 32 00:01:16,197 --> 00:01:18,829 COUNT TWO, WE THE PEOPLE FIND THE DEFENDANT GUILTY. 33 00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:20,161 COUNT THREE, GUILTY. 34 00:01:20,161 --> 00:01:22,833 COUNT FOUR, NOT GUILTY. 35 00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:27,128 OH, NO SORRY, [laughs] THAT'S A TYPO...GUILTY. 36 00:01:27,128 --> 00:01:29,710 MY BAD. 37 00:01:29,710 --> 00:01:32,052 - OOPS. [laughs] 38 00:01:32,052 --> 00:01:33,174 [theme music playing] 39 00:01:33,174 --> 00:01:37,178 - ♪ HEY, NOW 40 00:01:37,178 --> 00:01:40,351 ♪ HEY, NOW 41 00:01:40,351 --> 00:01:43,224 [all clapping] 42 00:01:43,224 --> 00:01:47,027 - IN THE ABROGATION OF SCURRILOUS INEPTITUDE... 43 00:01:47,027 --> 00:01:48,649 - COLLATERAL BURDENS THAT WOULD VALIDATE 44 00:01:48,649 --> 00:01:50,401 THE CONSTITUTIONALITY. 45 00:01:50,401 --> 00:01:53,784 - WOU--WOULD YOU LIKE A SPOT OF TEA? 46 00:01:53,784 --> 00:01:55,826 ARE WE DOING DOWNTON ABBEY? 47 00:01:55,826 --> 00:01:57,158 - WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? 48 00:01:57,158 --> 00:01:58,659 I MEAN, IT'S NOT THE SUPREME COURT. 49 00:01:58,659 --> 00:02:00,791 IT'S A FREAKING JURY. 50 00:02:00,791 --> 00:02:02,203 HALF OF THEM THINK THAT TWO AND HALF MEN 51 00:02:02,203 --> 00:02:03,624 IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING. 52 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,626 - OKAY, MY ARGUMENTS WERE BULLETPROOF. 53 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:08,048 - LISTEN, I KNOW THE NUANCES OF TALKING TO A JURY 54 00:02:08,048 --> 00:02:10,211 IS A LEARNED THING, BUT HOW MUCH TIME YOU GOT? 55 00:02:10,211 --> 00:02:11,422 - I HAVE AN HOUR BEFORE JURY SELECTION. 56 00:02:11,422 --> 00:02:12,843 - OH, YOU'RE DEAD. SHE'S BONED. 57 00:02:12,843 --> 00:02:14,215 - WHAT, ARE YOU GONNA QUIZ THE JURORS 58 00:02:14,215 --> 00:02:17,638 ON THE SHERMAN ANTI-TRUST ACT OF 1890? 59 00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:20,261 - IS THAT A REAL THING? - YES, CHERYL. 60 00:02:20,261 --> 00:02:22,263 - ALL RIGHT, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT? LET'S HEAR IT. 61 00:02:22,263 --> 00:02:25,226 - NO, I FEEL LIKE THEY COVERED IT. 62 00:02:25,226 --> 00:02:28,189 OH, COME ON, YOU PIECE OF CRAP. 63 00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:30,771 WELL, I JUST LOST MY ENTIRE OPENING ARGUMENT. 64 00:02:30,771 --> 00:02:32,403 OH, WELL. - WAIT, YOU HAVE A TRIAL? 65 00:02:32,403 --> 00:02:34,775 - YEAH, GOING UP AGAINST YOUR EX, TRENT, 66 00:02:34,775 --> 00:02:35,866 AND I HATE GOING UP AGAINST HIM, 67 00:02:35,866 --> 00:02:37,198 BECAUSE I GET REALLY COMPETITIVE, 68 00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:39,039 AND I HATE BEING COMPETITIVE, BUT HE MAKES ME COMPETITIVE, 69 00:02:39,039 --> 00:02:41,242 BUT I'M NOT COMPETITIVE GUY. I MEAN, I-M--I'M THE KIND OF GUY 70 00:02:41,242 --> 00:02:43,284 THAT EVERYONE GETS A TROPHY, KIND OF GUY, 71 00:02:43,284 --> 00:02:44,625 BUT, NOW I JUST WANT TO KICK TRENT'S ASS. 72 00:02:44,625 --> 00:02:46,046 DO I HAVE IT IN ME? IS TODAY THE DAY? 73 00:02:46,046 --> 00:02:47,998 PROBABLY NOT, STAY TUNED. 74 00:02:47,998 --> 00:02:50,841 YOU'RE NOT LISTENING. WHO'S THAT, MISS JANUARY? 75 00:02:50,841 --> 00:02:54,635 - NO, IT'S O'SHEA "TINSY" CURTIS, ARMED ROBBERY. 76 00:02:54,635 --> 00:02:57,848 - OKAY, THE JURY WILL CONVICT HIM ON THAT FACE ALONE. 77 00:02:57,848 --> 00:03:00,221 GOOD LUCK WITH THAT. 78 00:03:03,103 --> 00:03:04,104 - WINNING OVER A JURY IS SIMPLE. 79 00:03:04,104 --> 00:03:06,106 IT'S LIKE TALKING TO YOUR PEERS. 80 00:03:06,106 --> 00:03:07,107 WELL, YOUR SIXTH GRADE PEERS. 81 00:03:07,107 --> 00:03:09,109 - SO THE JURY IS PUBESCENT DUMBS-DUMBS. 82 00:03:09,109 --> 00:03:10,150 - NO, NO, THEY'RE NOT DUMB-DUMBS, 83 00:03:10,150 --> 00:03:11,902 THEY'RE-THEY'RE SMART-DUMBS. 84 00:03:11,902 --> 00:03:14,074 IT--IT'S--IT'S--IT'S A VERY SUBTLE DIFFERENCE. 85 00:03:14,074 --> 00:03:15,025 IT'S LIKE JAZZ. IF YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN IT, 86 00:03:15,025 --> 00:03:16,237 THEN YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND. 87 00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:18,158 - WOW, YOU'RE GREAT AT GIVING ADVICE. 88 00:03:18,158 --> 00:03:19,660 - YOU'RE TAKING ADVICE FROM A GUY WHO CAN'T FIGURE OUT 89 00:03:19,660 --> 00:03:20,821 HOW TO SHAVE? 90 00:03:20,821 --> 00:03:23,704 - HELLO, RESPECTED COLLEAGUE, SHE SAID PLATONICALLY. 91 00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,666 - HM. - NO, I'M JUST TAKING YOUR EX, 92 00:03:25,666 --> 00:03:27,498 HERE, THROUGH SOME OF THE FINER POINTS 93 00:03:27,498 --> 00:03:29,330 OF MY LAWYERING TECHNIQUES. 94 00:03:29,330 --> 00:03:31,041 SIMPLIFY, OKAY. JUST KEEP IT SIMPLE. 95 00:03:31,041 --> 00:03:33,254 WHEN YOU'VE SIMPLIFIED IT, SIMPLIFY EVEN MORE. IT'S EASY. 96 00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:34,715 - DON'T, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DUMB IT DOWN. 97 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,467 YOU JUST HAVE TO BE THE ONE THEY ALL LOOK UP TO. 98 00:03:36,467 --> 00:03:38,138 IT'S LIKE YOU'RE THE COOL BOSS 99 00:03:38,138 --> 00:03:40,140 AT AN OFFICE PARTY, TELLING A JOKE. 100 00:03:40,140 --> 00:03:42,142 - YEAH, YEAH, AN OFFICE PARTY FULL OF WOOD SHOP STUDENTS. 101 00:03:42,142 --> 00:03:42,893 - NO, NOT--NOT WOOD SHOP STUDENTS, 102 00:03:42,893 --> 00:03:46,146 LIKE TERRY FROM ACCOUNTING, OR STAN FROM HR. 103 00:03:46,146 --> 00:03:48,058 - GARY, THE GUY THAT CAN'T GET THE DIP ON THE CHIP. 104 00:03:48,058 --> 00:03:50,060 - AND GARY'S LIFE PARTNER, WHO INVENTED PHIL'S PENIS PUMP. 105 00:03:50,060 --> 00:03:51,352 - AND TRENT'S HAIR PLUGS WILL BE THERE. 106 00:03:51,352 --> 00:03:54,114 - OKAY, THIS IS FUN, BUT I HAVE TO GO. 107 00:03:54,114 --> 00:03:55,946 - HEY, WHY DON'T YOU COME WATCH ME CONVICT PHIL'S CLIENT 108 00:03:55,946 --> 00:03:58,118 FOR DEALING OXY. - AH, ALLEGEDLY. 109 00:03:58,118 --> 00:03:59,450 - MIGHT LEARN SOMETHING. 110 00:03:59,450 --> 00:04:00,531 - YEAH? - NO. 111 00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:01,912 - NO. - NO, NOT TODAY. 112 00:04:01,912 --> 00:04:05,996 - OH, NOT TODAY, BUT MAYBE? - NO. 113 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:08,539 [whispers] DAMN IT. 114 00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:10,080 - OBJECTION. 115 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,132 - MOTION SUSTAINED, 116 00:04:12,132 --> 00:04:15,085 30, LOVE. 117 00:04:15,085 --> 00:04:17,177 YOU PLAY TENNIS, RIGHT, TRENT? 118 00:04:17,177 --> 00:04:18,589 - OH, YES, YOUR HONOR, I PLAYED LAST WEEK 119 00:04:18,589 --> 00:04:20,140 AT HIGHLAND GROVE COUNTRY CLUB. 120 00:04:20,140 --> 00:04:21,552 - OOH, I LOVE THAT CLUB. 121 00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:24,345 THEY MAKE A DYNAMITE CUBANO SANDWICH, 122 00:04:24,345 --> 00:04:26,186 MADE BY AN ACTUAL CUBAN. 123 00:04:26,186 --> 00:04:27,978 - WOW. - DID YOU KNOW THAT? 124 00:04:27,978 --> 00:04:29,770 - I DIDN'T, BUT IT SOUNDS DELICIOUS. 125 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:33,103 - UH, IF--IF IT PLEASE THE COURT, WE WOULD LIKE TO L-- 126 00:04:33,103 --> 00:04:35,155 - SIT DOWN. 127 00:04:35,155 --> 00:04:39,199 MR. PROSECUTOR, YOUR SERVE. 128 00:04:42,363 --> 00:04:44,825 - HEY, HOW'S YOUR NON-COMPETITION GOING 129 00:04:44,825 --> 00:04:46,116 WITH TRENT? DID YOU BEAT HIM? 130 00:04:46,116 --> 00:04:47,788 WAS TODAY THE DAY? - SO YOU WERE LISTENING. 131 00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:50,411 I THOUGHT THIS WHOLE TRENT THING WAS ABOUT US BEING LAWYERS. 132 00:04:50,411 --> 00:04:52,002 APPARENTLY, NOW IT'S ABOUT TENNIS. 133 00:04:52,002 --> 00:04:55,175 HE'S GOT THIS, LIKE, CHARM OFFENSIVE CRAP THAT HE'S PULLING 134 00:04:55,175 --> 00:04:56,757 WITH JUDGE ICKLES, WHO NORMALLY HATES EVERYBODY, 135 00:04:56,757 --> 00:04:57,758 - MM-HM. - RIGHT? 136 00:04:57,758 --> 00:04:58,509 NOW, HE'S LOOKING AT TRENT 137 00:04:58,509 --> 00:05:00,421 LIKE HE'S ON THE COVER OF MAXIM. 138 00:05:00,421 --> 00:05:02,222 I DON'T GET IT. DOES TRENT EVEN PLAY TENNIS? 139 00:05:02,222 --> 00:05:03,924 - OH, YEAH, BUT HE'S TERRIBLE. 140 00:05:03,924 --> 00:05:05,726 HE USED TO JUST SWAT AT THE BALL, 141 00:05:05,726 --> 00:05:06,847 AND THEN THROW HIS RACKET DOWN, 142 00:05:06,847 --> 00:05:07,848 AND THEN WE'D DRIVE HOME IN, LIKE, 143 00:05:07,848 --> 00:05:09,189 A REAL AWKWARD SILENCE. 144 00:05:09,189 --> 00:05:10,811 - REALLY, SEE, THIS STUFF. 145 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,192 YOU GUYS USED TO BE BONING PARTNERS. 146 00:05:12,192 --> 00:05:13,233 HOW ABOUT SOME OF THAT INSIDE INFO? 147 00:05:13,233 --> 00:05:15,356 - EW, NO, GOD. 148 00:05:15,356 --> 00:05:17,277 OKAY, WELL, THERE WAS THIS ONE TIME WHERE HE--HE SPILLED 149 00:05:17,277 --> 00:05:19,990 HIS ROGAINE ON HIS BALLS, AND THERE WAS JUST SO-- 150 00:05:19,990 --> 00:05:22,282 IT WAS LIKE A CHIA PET. IT WAS--IT--IT PUFFED UP. 151 00:05:22,282 --> 00:05:25,245 I MEAN, IT'S LIKE IT WAS SO-- REALLY FURRY. 152 00:05:25,245 --> 00:05:27,658 - THAT IS... - NOT THE INFO YOU NEEDED. 153 00:05:27,658 --> 00:05:29,039 - THAT'S NOT THE INFO ANYONE NEEDED, NO. 154 00:05:29,039 --> 00:05:30,210 - GOT IT. ALL RIGHT. - JUST TELL ME HOW TO BEAT HIM. 155 00:05:30,210 --> 00:05:32,833 - NO, I AM NOT--I AM NOT GETTING INVOLVED 156 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,666 IN YOUR WEIRD PISSING MATCH. UH-UH, NO. 157 00:05:35,666 --> 00:05:38,379 - OKAY, I DON'T CARE. 158 00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:39,460 - ALL RIGHT, OKAY, ALL RIGHT, WELL I'LL TELL YOU 159 00:05:39,460 --> 00:05:42,843 ONE THING, OKAY? THE KEY TO TRENT IS HIS CONFIDENCE. 160 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:43,764 YOU GOT TO BEAT HIM AT SOMETHING IN ORDER TO BEAT HIM 161 00:05:43,764 --> 00:05:45,806 AT SOMETHING ELSE, AND THEN ONCE HE SMELLS DEFEAT, 162 00:05:45,806 --> 00:05:47,057 HIS CONFIDENCE IS SHAKEN. 163 00:05:47,057 --> 00:05:48,599 OH, GIVE ME THAT. 164 00:05:48,599 --> 00:05:50,230 KIND OF LIKE HOW I JUST SHOOK YOURS? 165 00:05:50,230 --> 00:05:51,101 - PSH, YOU DID NOT SHAKE MY CONFIDENCE, 166 00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:53,233 I JUST--I DON'T HAVE NAILS. - OH, OKAY. 167 00:05:53,233 --> 00:05:54,815 - WELL, I'LL BEAT HIM AT SOMETHING. 168 00:05:54,815 --> 00:05:57,277 - WELL, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT. I HAVE A JURY TO IMPRESS. 169 00:05:57,277 --> 00:06:00,070 - THAT'S RIGHT. REMEMBER, SIXTH GRADERS, NOT OFFICE PARTY. 170 00:06:00,070 --> 00:06:01,782 - GOT IT. - ONE SYLLABLE WORDS. 171 00:06:01,782 --> 00:06:03,444 - GOT IT. - HELPS IF THEY RHYME. 172 00:06:03,444 --> 00:06:06,076 - OH MY GOD, YOU'RE STILL TALKING. 173 00:06:06,076 --> 00:06:07,197 - CAN I GET A DIFFERENT... 174 00:06:07,197 --> 00:06:09,580 - NOTHING FURTHER, YOUR HONOR. 175 00:06:09,580 --> 00:06:12,082 - WHAT A FUN GUY. WHAT A FUN GUY. 176 00:06:12,082 --> 00:06:15,125 BUT, UH, TRUTH BE TOLD, I CAN BE PRETTY FUN, MYSELF. 177 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:18,258 SO, BUCKLE UP. [laughs] 178 00:06:18,258 --> 00:06:20,050 MY NAME IS NINA, 179 00:06:20,050 --> 00:06:23,213 AND THIS IS AN ASSAULT CASE. 180 00:06:23,213 --> 00:06:25,135 YOU EVER BEEN ASSAULTED? 181 00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:29,930 - YES, I WAS RUDELY ADDRESSED BY PHILIP ROTH, ONCE. 182 00:06:32,773 --> 00:06:33,894 - I AM VERY SORRY. 183 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,646 OKAY, THIS IS GREAT, THIS IS LIKE 184 00:06:35,646 --> 00:06:39,359 A--A FUN OFFICE PARTY, RIGHT? YOU'RE HERE, GUY IN THE... 185 00:06:39,359 --> 00:06:41,822 THE BLUE SHIRT AND THE TIE. 186 00:06:41,822 --> 00:06:43,283 UM...JOSEPH DANIELS. 187 00:06:43,283 --> 00:06:44,324 - I'VE NEVER BEEN ASSAULTED. 188 00:06:44,324 --> 00:06:47,658 MY BOSS IS BLACK, AND YES, I CAN BE IMPARTIAL. 189 00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:50,120 - SEE YOU GOT A WEDDING BAND ON YOUR--YOUR FINGER THERE, 190 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:52,162 BUT IT SAYS HERE THAT YOU'RE SINGLE, 191 00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:55,456 SO...SENDING ME MIXED SIGNALS THERE, JOEY. 192 00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:59,039 - MY WIFE LEFT ME A MONTH AGO. 193 00:06:59,039 --> 00:07:01,251 - I'M GONNA GO AHEAD AND CORRECT YOUR FILE HERE, 194 00:07:01,251 --> 00:07:03,093 AND JUST PUT THAT DOWN. 195 00:07:05,305 --> 00:07:07,888 - HEY, HOW'D IT GO? DID YOU KEEP IT SIMPLE? 196 00:07:07,888 --> 00:07:09,930 - I TRIED SIMPLE. I TRIED FUN PARTY GUY, 197 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:13,263 BUT IT'S NOT MY APPROACH. IT'S ME. 198 00:07:13,263 --> 00:07:16,356 APPARENTLY, I'M UNLIKEABLE. 199 00:07:16,356 --> 00:07:17,397 - THIS LOOKS NOTHING LIKE YOU. 200 00:07:17,397 --> 00:07:21,361 - THANK YOU. - EXCEPT THE FANGS. 201 00:07:29,990 --> 00:07:32,573 - I HAVE TO ADMIT, THESE ARE THE MOST HATEFUL JURY DOODLES 202 00:07:32,573 --> 00:07:33,784 I'VE EVER SEEN. 203 00:07:33,784 --> 00:07:35,786 - OOH, SCARY KITTY. 204 00:07:35,786 --> 00:07:37,668 - I ALWAYS FOUND A WAY TO WIN, 205 00:07:37,668 --> 00:07:39,840 BUT HOW DO YOU WIN LIKEABILITY? 206 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:41,131 I MEAN, IN CIVIL LAW, IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU'RE LIKED. 207 00:07:41,131 --> 00:07:42,793 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE RUTHLESS. 208 00:07:42,793 --> 00:07:43,714 I MEAN, YOU ACTUALLY GET BONUS POINTS IF YOU MAKE 209 00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:47,508 A JAPANESE BUSINESSMAN CRY, WHICH I DID THREE TIMES. 210 00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:49,139 - MAYBE YOU SHOULD SMILE MORE. 211 00:07:49,139 --> 00:07:51,802 - I SMILE ALL THE TIME. 212 00:07:51,802 --> 00:07:55,435 - YOU NEVER SMILED AT ME. 213 00:07:55,435 --> 00:07:56,897 - HOW LONG HAS BORING LARRY BEEN SITTING OVER THERE? 214 00:07:56,897 --> 00:07:58,689 - HE'S BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME. 215 00:07:58,689 --> 00:08:01,862 - YOU JUST GOT TO WIN THEM OVER, NINA, THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT. 216 00:08:01,862 --> 00:08:03,734 - RIGHT, BUT HOW DO I WIN OVER A JURY THAT ALREADY HATES ME? 217 00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:05,986 - I'D LOVE TO HELP YOU, BUT I'M KIND OF BUSY. 218 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,948 - YEAH, ME TOO. 219 00:08:07,948 --> 00:08:09,780 - MAYBE IF YOU BOUGHT US LUNCH? 220 00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:11,742 - LUNCH? - OOH! 221 00:08:11,742 --> 00:08:15,616 - YOU KNOW, LUNCH, SANDWICHES, SOUP, CHIPS PERHAPS. 222 00:08:15,616 --> 00:08:17,538 - I KNOW WHAT LUNCH IS, BORING LARRY. 223 00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:19,419 - WE DON'T CALL HIM THAT TO HIS FACE. 224 00:08:23,043 --> 00:08:25,836 - I AM SO SORRY... JUST LARRY. 225 00:08:25,836 --> 00:08:28,839 - BITCH, YOU DON'T KNOW ME. 226 00:08:33,974 --> 00:08:35,636 - OKAY, LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT. - OKAY. [clears throat] 227 00:08:35,636 --> 00:08:37,638 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THERE IS A PREPONDERANCE OF EVIDENCE-- 228 00:08:37,638 --> 00:08:39,770 - [buzz] TOO MUCH EYE CONTACT. 229 00:08:39,770 --> 00:08:42,643 YOU'RE FREAKING ME OUT. - OKAY, MY CLIENT TINSY CURTIS-- 230 00:08:42,643 --> 00:08:44,775 - [buzz] DON'T LOOK AT THE GROUND, 231 00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:45,646 IT MAKES YOU LOOK SHIFTY. 232 00:08:45,646 --> 00:08:48,238 - ALL RIGHT, MAYBE WE JUST RETIRE THAT BUZZER SOUND. 233 00:08:48,238 --> 00:08:50,280 - I--I'M SCARED. 234 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,612 - YOU--YOU'RE SCARED? 235 00:08:51,612 --> 00:08:53,574 - YOU'RE GESTURING LIKE A TRAFFIC COP. 236 00:08:53,574 --> 00:08:54,785 I HATE TRAFFIC. 237 00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:57,708 F---FUNNY STORY, I BORROW MY ROOMMATE'S SATURN. 238 00:08:57,708 --> 00:09:00,621 IT'S A STICK. SUDDENLY, I GOT THREE PEDALS. 239 00:09:00,621 --> 00:09:01,712 GUESS HOW MANY FEET I'VE GOT? 240 00:09:01,712 --> 00:09:02,873 - I WASN'T EVEN GESTURING. 241 00:09:02,873 --> 00:09:04,504 - NOW, YOU'RE BEING ARGUMENTATIVE. 242 00:09:04,504 --> 00:09:05,666 - OKAY, WELL, I'M SORRY. 243 00:09:05,666 --> 00:09:06,627 - NOW, YOU SOUND LIKE A BITCH. 244 00:09:06,627 --> 00:09:08,669 - MM, AND IT'S YOUR ARMS. UNCROSS THEM. 245 00:09:08,669 --> 00:09:10,510 YOU LOOK LIKE A SCHOOLTEACHER. 246 00:09:10,510 --> 00:09:11,672 - PHIL SAID TO TALK TO THEM LIKE THEY'RE SIXTH GRADERS. 247 00:09:11,672 --> 00:09:13,674 - NO, NO, NO, NO, ONLY PHIL CAN DO PHIL. 248 00:09:13,674 --> 00:09:16,516 YOU RELAX, JUST TRY NOT TO TRY SO HARD. 249 00:09:16,516 --> 00:09:17,808 - OKAY, MY CLIENT TINSY-- 250 00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:20,310 - I'M FINDING IT REALLY HARD TO LIKE THIS WOMAN. 251 00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,272 - WHAT, WHAT, WHAT, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 252 00:09:22,272 --> 00:09:23,814 - IT'S THOSE CLOMPING HEELS, 253 00:09:23,814 --> 00:09:25,856 THE SOUND OF GIRLS REJECTING ME IN HIGH SCHOOL. 254 00:09:25,856 --> 00:09:27,818 - ALL RIGHT, I CAN NOT CONTROL WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU 255 00:09:27,818 --> 00:09:29,690 IN HIGH SCHOOL. - YES, YOU CAN. 256 00:09:29,690 --> 00:09:32,152 - OKAY, YOU HAVE TO CONVINCE THEM THAT YOU'RE 257 00:09:32,152 --> 00:09:35,285 THE ONLY WHITE LADY WHO GETS HOW OPPRESSIVE THE SYSTEM IS. 258 00:09:35,285 --> 00:09:38,909 DO WHAT I DO... MENTION MARTIN LUTHER KING. 259 00:09:38,909 --> 00:09:40,290 EVERYONE LOVES A FREEDOM FIGHTER. 260 00:09:40,290 --> 00:09:42,663 - BURT, YOU'VE BEEN HERE THE LONGEST. WHAT DO I DO? 261 00:09:42,663 --> 00:09:45,796 - WELL, I CAN JUST TELL YOU WHAT MY GUNNY SERGEANT TOLD ME 262 00:09:45,796 --> 00:09:48,548 ON MY FIRST TOUR IN VIETNAM. 263 00:09:48,548 --> 00:09:51,842 DON'T SH-- YOUR PANTS, BUT IF YOU DO SH-- YOUR PANTS, 264 00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:53,674 CHANGE YOUR PANTS. 265 00:09:53,674 --> 00:09:56,677 - WHAT? - CHANGE YOUR PANTS. 266 00:09:56,677 --> 00:09:58,889 - OKAY, THANKS. 267 00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:01,351 - HEY, PHIL, HAVE YOU SEEN NINA? 268 00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:02,643 I HAD A LITTLE MORE ADVICE FOR HER. 269 00:10:02,643 --> 00:10:04,314 - AH, SHE'S ALL SET ON THE ADVICE FRONT, 270 00:10:04,314 --> 00:10:06,146 UNLESS YOU WANT TO EXPLAIN TO HER HOW TO EXTRACT YOUR HEAD 271 00:10:06,146 --> 00:10:07,688 FROM AN ELDERLY JUDGE'S ASS. 272 00:10:07,688 --> 00:10:09,780 - THERE ARE NO HEADS IN ANYONE'S ASSES, ALL RIGHT? 273 00:10:09,780 --> 00:10:11,732 WE'RE JUST A COUPLE OF PEOPLE WITH A COMMON INTEREST 274 00:10:11,732 --> 00:10:13,033 IN THE GAME OF TENNIS. 275 00:10:13,033 --> 00:10:14,945 - OH, SO WHAT, YOU'RE SOME, BIG SHOT TENNIS PLAYER, HUH? 276 00:10:14,945 --> 00:10:16,867 - YEAH, I'M NOT BAD. I KNOW MY WAY AROUND A RACKET. 277 00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:18,659 - OH, COME ON, WHO IS BAD AT TENNIS, RIGHT? 278 00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:20,661 I MEAN, LITTLE KIDS PLAY IT, OLD MEN PLAY IT. 279 00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:22,582 I SAW A DOG PLAY IT ON LETTERMAN, ONCE. 280 00:10:22,582 --> 00:10:25,836 - ANYONE CAN PLAY. VERY FEW CAN COMPETE. 281 00:10:25,836 --> 00:10:27,708 - WELL, I PLAY REAL SPORTS, SO TENNIS, 282 00:10:27,708 --> 00:10:29,800 I'M SURE I COULD JUST PICK IT UP, WING IT. 283 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:30,841 - SO IF I WERE TO CALL MY CLUB, 284 00:10:30,841 --> 00:10:32,673 SET UP A MATCH, YOU'D BE UP FOR THAT? 285 00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:34,304 - YEAH, YOU CALL YOUR CLUB, SET UP A MATCH. 286 00:10:34,304 --> 00:10:35,676 I'LL MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF. 287 00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:37,307 - THAT'S YOUR SPECIALTY. - HM. 288 00:10:37,307 --> 00:10:39,259 - CONSIDER IT DONE. - OKAY. 289 00:10:39,259 --> 00:10:42,312 I'LL MEET YOU BY THE WHITES-ONLY BATHROOM. 290 00:10:42,312 --> 00:10:45,145 HI, NATASHA. I MIGHT'VE CROSSED A LINE. 291 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,767 - OKAY. 292 00:10:46,767 --> 00:10:48,188 - HEY. - HEY. 293 00:10:48,188 --> 00:10:49,399 - YOU READY TO WIN THEM OVER? 294 00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:50,360 - I DON'T KNOW, CROSS MY ARMS, 295 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:51,902 EYE CONTACT, BE A FREEDOM FIGHTER. 296 00:10:51,902 --> 00:10:54,905 I'M SO INSIDE MY HEAD RIGHT NOW. - WHY ARE YOU TIPTOEING? 297 00:10:54,905 --> 00:10:56,737 - SO THAT MY HEELS DON'T REMIND YOU OF A GIRL 298 00:10:56,737 --> 00:10:58,158 WHO WOULDN'T BONE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL. 299 00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,990 - OKAY, THAT SEEMS LIKE A BIGGER CONVERSATION. 300 00:10:59,990 --> 00:11:01,872 - OKAY, I'M GONNA GO DO THIS THING. 301 00:11:01,872 --> 00:11:03,203 - TONE DOWN THE GESTURES. 302 00:11:03,203 --> 00:11:06,917 - WHAT GESTURES? 303 00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:08,668 RIGHT, I LOOK LIKE A BITCH. 304 00:11:14,004 --> 00:11:17,097 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU GUYS... [laughs] 305 00:11:17,097 --> 00:11:18,759 HOW YOU DOING? 306 00:11:18,759 --> 00:11:21,181 SO THEY SAY THIS IS A ROBBERY CASE, 307 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:25,896 BUT REALLY, IT IS A CASE OF FALSE IDENTIFICATION, 308 00:11:25,896 --> 00:11:28,899 AND THE VICTIM HERE IS MY CLIENT, 309 00:11:28,899 --> 00:11:31,862 A VERY GENTLE MAN... 310 00:11:31,862 --> 00:11:34,815 NAMED TINSY. 311 00:11:34,815 --> 00:11:37,407 DO YOU REMEMBER, IN--IN SIXTH GRADE, 312 00:11:37,407 --> 00:11:39,820 WHEN YOU WERE ASSIGNED A BOOK THAT YOU DIDN'T LIKE, 313 00:11:39,820 --> 00:11:43,033 AND--AND YOU THOUGHT, "THIS BOOK'S PRETENTIOUS", 314 00:11:43,033 --> 00:11:45,415 OR "USES TOO MANY BIG WORDS," 315 00:11:45,415 --> 00:11:47,748 OR "THIS BOOK'S A BITCH," 316 00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:49,750 BUT THEN YOU GOT TO KNOW THE BOOK, 317 00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:52,833 AND YOU THOUGHT "WOW, THIS BOOK IS REALLY NICE, 318 00:11:52,833 --> 00:11:55,255 AND HAS FEELINGS," RIGHT? 319 00:11:55,255 --> 00:11:57,047 AND JUST LIKE THAT BOOK, 320 00:11:57,047 --> 00:12:01,301 YOU CAN'T JUDGE MY CLIENT, TINSY, BY HIS COVER. 321 00:12:01,301 --> 00:12:03,844 WAIT, NO, I'M--I'M THE BOOK, AND I'M TELLING YOU THE STORY 322 00:12:03,844 --> 00:12:05,806 IN THE BOOK, WHICH IS HIM. 323 00:12:05,806 --> 00:12:07,768 I'M MORE THE NARRATOR HERE, AND I DON'T WANT 324 00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:10,150 TO OVERANALYZE THE METAPHOR, OKAY? 325 00:12:10,150 --> 00:12:13,153 I--I--LOOK, I HAD THIS ALL WORKED OUT. 326 00:12:13,153 --> 00:12:14,815 STOP GESTURING. 327 00:12:18,068 --> 00:12:19,820 MARTIN LUTHER KING! 328 00:12:24,074 --> 00:12:27,287 - GOD, THAT FELT SO GOOD, GETTING OUT, 329 00:12:27,287 --> 00:12:29,369 BLOWING OFF SOME STEAM, KICKING YOUR ASS. 330 00:12:29,369 --> 00:12:31,171 - ALL RIGHT, LOOK, YOU WON, I BOUGHT YOU A DRINK, 331 00:12:31,171 --> 00:12:32,172 CAN WE JUST WRAP UP THE GLOATING, 332 00:12:32,172 --> 00:12:33,293 SO WE CAN GET THIS OVER WITH? 333 00:12:33,293 --> 00:12:34,464 - OH, NO, I'D NEVER DRINK ANYTHING 334 00:12:34,464 --> 00:12:35,675 FROM THIS HEP C INCUBATOR. 335 00:12:35,675 --> 00:12:37,717 I JUST WANTED YOU TO HAVE TO PAY FOR IT. 336 00:12:37,717 --> 00:12:39,759 SMELLS LIKE FEET. 337 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,511 SO, I BEAT YOU ON THE TENNIS COURT, 338 00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:43,383 AND TOMORROW, I'LL BEAT YOU ON THE COURT-COURT. 339 00:12:43,383 --> 00:12:45,595 IT'S TWO COURTS, SAME RESULT, 340 00:12:45,595 --> 00:12:47,307 AND THAT IS A LITTLE WORDPLAY. 341 00:12:47,307 --> 00:12:50,690 HAVE A GOOD NIGHT. 342 00:12:50,690 --> 00:12:53,233 HEY. 343 00:12:53,233 --> 00:12:56,947 - OH MY GOD. 344 00:12:56,947 --> 00:12:58,448 OH MY GOD, WHAT WAS IN THAT? 345 00:12:58,448 --> 00:13:00,400 - I HAVE NO IDEA. THAT WAS HERE WHEN WE CAME IN. 346 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:01,862 YOU SAID THAT HE WASN'T ANY GOOD AT TENNIS. 347 00:13:01,862 --> 00:13:03,323 - HE'S NOT. YOU MUST REALLY SUCK. 348 00:13:03,323 --> 00:13:04,865 - NO, I'M GOOD. I PLAYED IN COLLEGE. 349 00:13:04,865 --> 00:13:07,537 I WAS--I WAS RANKED. I'M AMAZING. 350 00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:08,458 THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A HUSTLE. 351 00:13:08,458 --> 00:13:10,410 YOU SUCK AT GIVING ADVICE. 352 00:13:10,410 --> 00:13:13,213 - OH, YEAH, AND YOU AND--AND TRENT REALLY BROUGHT ME 353 00:13:13,213 --> 00:13:14,714 TO THE ADVICE-GIVING PROMISED LAND WITH MY TRIAL. 354 00:13:14,714 --> 00:13:17,217 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I GAVE YOU GOOD, SIMPLE ADVICE. 355 00:13:17,217 --> 00:13:19,219 - NO, YOU AND YOUR LITTLE BAND OF BONERS GOT ME ALL 356 00:13:19,219 --> 00:13:20,220 IN MY FREAKING HEAD. 357 00:13:20,220 --> 00:13:21,842 - NINA, COME ON, LISTEN, AT THE END OF THE DAY, 358 00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:24,554 YOU GOT TO REALIZE THAT YOU ARE YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY, 359 00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:27,267 AND SOMETIMES, YOU'RE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND IN THIS JOB, 360 00:13:27,267 --> 00:13:28,889 SO JUST STOP LISTENING TO EVERYBODY ELSE, 361 00:13:28,889 --> 00:13:30,931 AND ASKING FOR THEIR ADVICE, AND JUST--I DON'T KNOW. 362 00:13:30,931 --> 00:13:32,692 FOLLOW YOUR GUT. 363 00:13:32,692 --> 00:13:34,895 - ALL RIGHT, I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO. 364 00:13:34,895 --> 00:13:37,777 HEY, CAN I HAVE ANOTHER WHATEVER THAT WAS? 365 00:13:41,531 --> 00:13:45,285 - MM, MM. - THANK YOU. 366 00:13:45,285 --> 00:13:47,077 THAT'S IN ME. 367 00:13:47,077 --> 00:13:49,249 THAT'S IN ME. 368 00:13:49,249 --> 00:13:50,790 [groans] - THERE YOU GO. 369 00:13:50,790 --> 00:13:54,374 OH, I'M CRAMPING. 370 00:13:54,374 --> 00:13:56,376 SO, THIS IS HARD FOR ME TO SAY, 371 00:13:56,376 --> 00:13:59,339 BUT, UM...I'M HURTING YOUR CASE. 372 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:00,760 I MEAN, IT'S NOT THAT I AM A BAD LAWYER. 373 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:02,512 I AM A GREAT LAWYER. 374 00:14:02,512 --> 00:14:05,845 IN A HOSTILE TAKEOVER, I WOULD OUTFOX ANYONE, 375 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,767 BUT UNFORTUNATELY, THAT DOESN'T LEND ITSELF 376 00:14:07,767 --> 00:14:10,020 TO LIKEABILITY, AND YOU NEED SOMEONE REALLY LIKEABLE, 377 00:14:10,020 --> 00:14:13,473 BECAUSE, ALTHOUGH YOU ARE INNOCENT, 378 00:14:13,473 --> 00:14:15,685 YOU'RE STRAIGHT-UP TERRIFYING. 379 00:14:15,685 --> 00:14:18,478 SO, THAT'S WHY I'M GETTING YOU REASSIGNED. 380 00:14:18,478 --> 00:14:20,610 OH, GOD, OH, GOD, HERE IT COMES. 381 00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:22,532 OH MY GOSH, THIS IS HOW I GO. 382 00:14:27,787 --> 00:14:29,409 - YOUR CHAIR. 383 00:14:29,409 --> 00:14:32,042 HOW DO YOU LADIES WALK IN THOSE HEELS? 384 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,998 YOU SOUND LIKE YOU HAD A ROTTEN DAY. 385 00:14:37,998 --> 00:14:40,500 - HUH. 386 00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:42,552 - HERE WE GO, LET'S GO. - YEAH, YEAH. 387 00:14:42,552 --> 00:14:44,424 THROUGH THE LEGS, SPIN. 388 00:14:44,424 --> 00:14:46,506 - NO, COUNTERCLOCKWISE. 389 00:14:46,506 --> 00:14:49,719 JUMP HIGH. 390 00:14:49,719 --> 00:14:54,564 AND THAT'S AN "E," WHICH SPELLS "HORSE," AGAIN. 391 00:14:54,564 --> 00:14:56,356 GUESS YOU NEED SOME ICY HOT FOR THAT TENNIS ELBOW. 392 00:14:56,356 --> 00:14:58,068 - OH, I GUESS YOU NEED SOME RHINESTONES 393 00:14:58,068 --> 00:14:59,609 FOR YOUR VAJAZZLING. 394 00:14:59,609 --> 00:15:00,941 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. - ONE MORE GAME, 395 00:15:00,941 --> 00:15:01,942 COME ON, BEST OF 13. - PHIL, 396 00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:03,863 PHIL, LET ME JUST STOP YOU RIGHT THERE, OKAY? 397 00:15:03,863 --> 00:15:05,525 THIS WHOLE THING, THIS COMPETITION-- 398 00:15:05,525 --> 00:15:06,526 - [scoffs] COMPETITION? 399 00:15:06,526 --> 00:15:07,737 WHAT--THAT'S NOT-- I'M NOT A COMPETITIVE GUY. 400 00:15:07,737 --> 00:15:09,329 THAT IS NOT ME, ASK AROUND. 401 00:15:09,329 --> 00:15:10,740 - DUDE, YOU HAD TO PLAY ME IN TENNIS, NOW HORSE. 402 00:15:10,740 --> 00:15:13,453 WHAT'S NEXT, HUH, A FREAKING BAKE OFF? 403 00:15:13,453 --> 00:15:15,085 LOOK, YOU JUST NEED TO FACE IT. 404 00:15:15,085 --> 00:15:16,376 YOU'RE NEVER GONNA BEAT ME AT ANYTHING, 405 00:15:16,376 --> 00:15:17,917 SO LET'S JUST GO BACK TO COURT, 406 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,960 AND LET ME FINISH YOU OFF-- THIS OFF. 407 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,751 [clears throat] THIS TRIAL. 408 00:15:21,751 --> 00:15:23,343 - HEY, YOU GUYS, I GOT TO THANK YOU. 409 00:15:23,343 --> 00:15:25,715 YOUR ADVICE, I JUST HAD A BREAKTHROUGH WITH MY CASE. 410 00:15:25,715 --> 00:15:27,847 I HAVE A WHOLE NEW PLAN. TINSY, HE'S GONNA BE A FREE MAN. 411 00:15:27,847 --> 00:15:29,599 - GOOD, GOOD, GLAD I WAS ABLE TO HELP. 412 00:15:29,599 --> 00:15:31,141 - NO, NO, NO, NOT YOU. IT WAS PHIL. 413 00:15:31,141 --> 00:15:33,103 THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU SAID LAST NIGHT. 414 00:15:33,103 --> 00:15:35,815 GAME CHANGER, THANK YOU. 415 00:15:35,815 --> 00:15:38,558 - H-HOW, HOW LAST NIGHT? HOW? 416 00:15:38,558 --> 00:15:41,731 - WELL, I JUST, UH, DO WHAT I DO, YUP, 417 00:15:41,731 --> 00:15:43,693 AND IF WHAT I DID CONVINCES NINA TO TAKE MY STAGE ADVICE 418 00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:45,025 INSTEAD OF YOUR STUPID, CRAPPY ADVICE, 419 00:15:45,025 --> 00:15:47,657 I GUESS, I DON'T KNOW, SUE ME. 420 00:15:47,657 --> 00:15:49,659 - YOU KNOW WHAT, FINE, I LOST ONCE, 421 00:15:49,659 --> 00:15:51,031 BUT YOU LOST EVERY OTHER TIME. 422 00:15:51,031 --> 00:15:54,074 - YEAH, BUT THE ONE THAT I WON JUST HAPPENED, 423 00:15:54,074 --> 00:15:56,206 SO IT'S NEW. IT'S FRESH, SUPER FRESH. 424 00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:57,077 HOW DO YOU FEEL, HUH? 425 00:15:57,077 --> 00:15:59,499 REELING A LITTLE BIT BEFORE YOU GO BACK INTO COURT? 426 00:15:59,499 --> 00:16:01,381 YOU GONNA BE OKAY THERE, HUH? - YEAH. 427 00:16:01,381 --> 00:16:04,464 - YEAH, MAYBE GET SOME ROGAINE, AND PUT IT ON YOUR BALLSACK. 428 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,846 THAT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. 429 00:16:06,846 --> 00:16:08,848 - WHERE'D YOU HEAR THAT? I DON'T EVEN-- 430 00:16:08,848 --> 00:16:12,432 I DON'T EVEN DO THAT. I DON'T--I DON'T. 431 00:16:16,686 --> 00:16:18,518 - UH-OH, WHERE'S NINA? 432 00:16:18,518 --> 00:16:20,060 - [whispering] MICAH, WHERE'S NINA? 433 00:16:20,060 --> 00:16:21,691 - SHE'S LATE. 434 00:16:21,691 --> 00:16:24,404 - THANK YOU, I SO ENJOY OUR TALKS. 435 00:16:34,374 --> 00:16:36,076 - I'M SO SORRY I'M LATE, YOUR HONOR. 436 00:16:42,382 --> 00:16:43,883 - WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? - [whispering] OH, I'M FINE. 437 00:16:43,883 --> 00:16:45,085 I'M FINE, IT'S OKAY. - ARE YOU OKAY? 438 00:16:45,085 --> 00:16:46,716 - NO, I'M GREAT. - YOU DON'T LOOK OKAY. 439 00:16:46,716 --> 00:16:48,718 - I'M ALL RIGHT. 440 00:16:48,718 --> 00:16:50,470 OKAY. [straining] I'M GREAT. 441 00:16:50,470 --> 00:16:51,091 - SORRY. - THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 442 00:16:51,091 --> 00:16:53,133 NO, THAT'S GOOD, IT'S OKAY. 443 00:16:53,133 --> 00:16:55,135 ALL RIGHT. 444 00:16:55,135 --> 00:16:57,227 OOPS, IT'S-- UPSY-DAISY. 445 00:16:57,227 --> 00:16:58,558 - OKAY, OKAY. - JUST GET THAT OUT OF THERE. 446 00:16:58,558 --> 00:17:00,560 - THERE YOU GO. 447 00:17:02,352 --> 00:17:05,235 - YOU'VE ALL SEEN THE EVIDENCE. 448 00:17:05,235 --> 00:17:08,068 OKAY, IT WAS DARK, SOMEONE GOT MUGGED, 449 00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:12,952 AND THEN LATER, SOMEONE SAW TINSY CURTIS, 450 00:17:12,952 --> 00:17:14,154 AND SAID IT WAS HIM. 451 00:17:14,154 --> 00:17:17,117 NOW, I KNOW YOU UNDERSTAND THE EVIDENCE, 452 00:17:17,117 --> 00:17:19,159 OR LACK THEREOF, 453 00:17:19,159 --> 00:17:21,661 SINCE IT'S MY JOB TO MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND. 454 00:17:21,661 --> 00:17:23,002 OH, MAY I? 455 00:17:25,625 --> 00:17:28,218 EVEN IF YOU CLEARLY DON'T LIKE ME FOR DOING THAT JOB. 456 00:17:28,218 --> 00:17:29,969 - OH, THAT DRAWING'S REALLY GOOD. 457 00:17:29,969 --> 00:17:31,551 - NOT FOR NINA. - NONE OF YOU KNOW TINSY. 458 00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,133 - OH, YEAH, THEY HATE HER, OH. 459 00:17:33,133 --> 00:17:36,096 - YOU DON'T, YOU'VE JUST SEEN HIM SIT OVER HERE IN HIS CHAIR. 460 00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:38,518 AND NOW, LET ME ASK YOU THIS QUICK QUESTION. 461 00:17:38,518 --> 00:17:41,181 IS SITTING IN A CHAIR-- IS THAT SCARY? 462 00:17:41,181 --> 00:17:42,772 - YOU EVER BEEN ON THE BATMAN RIDE? 463 00:17:42,772 --> 00:17:44,184 - SHH. 464 00:17:44,184 --> 00:17:47,317 - YOU CAN'T JUDGE A PERSON BY THE WAY THEY LOOK. 465 00:17:47,317 --> 00:17:50,530 YOU JUDGE THEM ON THEIR ACTIONS. 466 00:17:50,530 --> 00:17:53,493 THE DEFENSE RESTS, YOUR HONOR. 467 00:17:53,493 --> 00:17:55,575 OOH. OH. 468 00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,538 MM. OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH. 469 00:17:58,538 --> 00:18:00,700 [groaning] 470 00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:03,042 - THERE YOU GO. 471 00:18:03,042 --> 00:18:05,255 - I STILL THINK THEY DON'T LIKE HER. 472 00:18:05,255 --> 00:18:07,127 - IT'S NOT ABOUT HER. IT'S ABOUT HIM. 473 00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:11,511 - OH. HIM WHO? 474 00:18:13,303 --> 00:18:15,094 - NO, IT'S A FALSE STATEMENT, A FALSE STATEMENT, YOUR HONOR. 475 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,266 - I WILL WARN YOU AGAIN, COUNSELOR 476 00:18:16,266 --> 00:18:17,267 - I THINK YOU HEARD HIM. PIECE--IT DOESN'T MATTER. 477 00:18:17,267 --> 00:18:18,308 NO, HE-- - YOU HEARD HIM, 478 00:18:18,308 --> 00:18:19,349 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN-- - [indistinct], 479 00:18:19,349 --> 00:18:20,350 THAT MEANS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. - WELL, THERE WAS INTENT, 480 00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:21,141 THAT'S ALL THAT REALLY MATTERS. - DOESN'T MATTER 481 00:18:21,141 --> 00:18:22,932 WHAT THE INTENT IS. - A PIECE OF-- 482 00:18:22,932 --> 00:18:24,023 - IT'S A FALSE STATEMENT. 483 00:18:24,023 --> 00:18:26,566 - OH, I THINK IT DOES. 484 00:18:26,566 --> 00:18:27,567 YOUR HONOR? 485 00:18:29,229 --> 00:18:30,150 all: [murmuring] 486 00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:34,073 - UH, YOUR HONOR? 487 00:18:34,073 --> 00:18:35,365 [ambulance radio chatter] 488 00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:38,198 - GREAT, ICKLES STROKES OUT, NOW, WE GOT AN INSTANT MISTRIAL. 489 00:18:38,198 --> 00:18:40,200 - POOR BASTARD. PARAMEDIC SAID HE'LL BE FINE, 490 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:42,742 SO I GUESS NOBODY WINS, HUH? 491 00:18:42,742 --> 00:18:46,085 - WELL, I MEAN, I WAS CLEARLY GONNA WIN BEFORE HE FROZE. 492 00:18:46,085 --> 00:18:47,587 - WHAT? NO HE WAS TOTALLY GONNA 493 00:18:47,587 --> 00:18:49,549 RULE IN MY FAVOR. - WHAT PART OF... 494 00:18:49,549 --> 00:18:51,631 [imitating choking] DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? 495 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:52,882 - OKAY, THAT'S OFFENSIVE. 496 00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:54,214 - RACE YOU TO THE VENDING MACHINE? 497 00:18:54,214 --> 00:18:56,176 - WHAT? NO, I'M NOT DOING THAT. 498 00:19:00,310 --> 00:19:01,601 - OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, NO, NO, YOU'RE RIGHT, 499 00:19:01,601 --> 00:19:02,892 YOU'RE RIGHT, THIS IS CHILDISH. 500 00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:04,314 THIS IS CHILDISH. 501 00:19:04,314 --> 00:19:06,476 - GAH! 502 00:19:09,269 --> 00:19:10,440 - BURT, PHIL! 503 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,031 - ALL RIGHT, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU? 504 00:19:12,031 --> 00:19:15,575 - OHH...NOTHING. [laughs] 505 00:19:15,575 --> 00:19:18,037 - NOT GUILTY, SHE GOT HIM OFF. YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN IT. 506 00:19:18,037 --> 00:19:20,410 - SO YOU FAKED HAVING AN INJURY TO INFLUENCE THE JURY? 507 00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:21,621 THAT'S A HACK MOVE. 508 00:19:21,621 --> 00:19:22,872 - YEAH, RIGHT. [taunting] 509 00:19:22,872 --> 00:19:24,204 - OKAY, YOU'RE SCARING ME, JUST-- 510 00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:27,046 THE JURY HATED HER, GRANTED, BUT THEY LOVED THEM SOME TINSY. 511 00:19:27,046 --> 00:19:30,089 I MEAN, SHE WAS LIMPING. HE'S PULLING OUT CHAIRS. 512 00:19:30,089 --> 00:19:31,000 HE'S GIVING HER TISSUES. - MM-HMM. 513 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:34,003 - THEY WERE LIKE AN OLD COUPLE IN A SENIOR CENTER. 514 00:19:34,003 --> 00:19:35,425 - BURT, COME ON, BY HER A DRINK. 515 00:19:35,425 --> 00:19:37,427 SHE WILL LITERALLY DRINK ANYTHING. 516 00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:38,928 - IT'S TRUE. - OKAY, WONDER WOMAN, 517 00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:40,890 UP TO THE BAR. 518 00:19:40,890 --> 00:19:43,353 - SO YOU WENT WITH THIS, HUH? - MM-HMM. 519 00:19:43,353 --> 00:19:44,474 - YOU DIDN'T TAKE ANY OF OUR ADVICE? 520 00:19:44,474 --> 00:19:45,725 - NO. 521 00:19:45,725 --> 00:19:48,398 - OH, YEAH, WELL, ONLY PHIL CAN DO PHIL. 522 00:19:48,398 --> 00:19:49,939 - AND ONLY NINA CAN DO NINA. 523 00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:51,110 - I BET PHIL COULD DO NINA. 524 00:19:51,110 --> 00:19:52,862 - HOW ABOUT PHIL JUST KEEPS DOING PHIL? 525 00:19:52,862 --> 00:19:54,944 BUT HEY, CONGRATS ON THE MISTRIAL. 526 00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:58,908 I MEAN, THAT WAS A "STROKE" OF GOOD LUCK. 527 00:19:58,908 --> 00:20:01,661 [laughing] YOU KNOW? OH! 528 00:20:01,661 --> 00:20:03,323 THERE'S NOT A CHAIR THERE. 529 00:20:03,323 --> 00:20:04,874 - NOW, HOW DO I KNOW YOU'RE NOT FAKING? 39957

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