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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:04,045 - MORNING, MA'AM. 2 00:00:08,299 --> 00:00:10,131 - HI. 3 00:00:10,131 --> 00:00:11,432 I AM NINA WHITLEY, AND YOU MUST BE YOLANDA HERNAN-- 4 00:00:11,432 --> 00:00:13,844 - EVERYBODY CALL ME "BABY JONES." 5 00:00:13,844 --> 00:00:15,136 - OKAY. 6 00:00:15,136 --> 00:00:16,727 WOW. 7 00:00:16,727 --> 00:00:19,850 IT, UM, DOES NOT SMELL GREAT IN HERE. 8 00:00:19,850 --> 00:00:22,143 ANYWAY, SO YOU ARE CHARGED WITH POSSESSION 9 00:00:22,143 --> 00:00:23,484 OF A CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE. 10 00:00:23,484 --> 00:00:25,236 THEY FOUND TWO OUNCES OF COCAINE IN YOUR BRA. 11 00:00:25,236 --> 00:00:27,278 IS THAT--IS THAT CORR-- 12 00:00:27,278 --> 00:00:28,569 OH, MY GOD. 13 00:00:28,569 --> 00:00:30,151 IT'S SO STICKY. 14 00:00:30,151 --> 00:00:32,363 UM, YOU KNOW WHAT? 15 00:00:32,363 --> 00:00:34,785 I DON'T NEED TO SIT DOWN. I DON'T NEED TO SIT DOWN. 16 00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:35,786 I CAN MAKE THIS QUICK. 17 00:00:35,786 --> 00:00:37,918 UM...UH... 18 00:00:37,918 --> 00:00:39,290 I CAN GET THE D.A. TO DROP ALL THE CHARGES 19 00:00:39,290 --> 00:00:40,371 IF YOU COOPERATE, ALL RIGHT? 20 00:00:40,371 --> 00:00:42,002 SO TRADE SOME INFORMATION. 21 00:00:42,002 --> 00:00:43,504 WHO'S YOUR DEALER? OTHER BUYERS? 22 00:00:43,504 --> 00:00:45,716 AND OH, MY GOD! THAT SMELL. 23 00:00:45,716 --> 00:00:47,007 - I'LL GET RIGHT ON IT. 24 00:00:47,007 --> 00:00:48,339 - I CAN'T GET PAST IT. 25 00:00:48,339 --> 00:00:49,970 I CAN'T GET PAST IT. 26 00:00:49,970 --> 00:00:52,473 SO I AM JUST GONNA GO AHEAD, 27 00:00:52,473 --> 00:00:54,805 WE'LL CALL THE D.A., AND WE'LL MAKE THAT DEAL. 28 00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:56,137 - UH-UH. I AIN'T DOING THAT. 29 00:00:56,137 --> 00:00:57,768 - OKAY. - I'M NOT TAKING NO DEAL. 30 00:00:57,768 --> 00:01:00,101 - SOUNDS GOOD. - I'M NOT TAKING NO DEAL! 31 00:01:03,984 --> 00:01:06,897 - I NEED YOUR HAND SANITIZER STAT. 32 00:01:06,897 --> 00:01:08,949 OKAY, THAT'S A BIG WORD FOR "NOW." 33 00:01:08,949 --> 00:01:09,950 - BAD DATE LAST NIGHT? - NO. 34 00:01:09,950 --> 00:01:11,742 I SPENT A DELIGHTFUL MORNING 35 00:01:11,742 --> 00:01:13,284 IN THE INTERVIEW ROOM OF A JAIL. 36 00:01:13,284 --> 00:01:14,575 HERE'S SOMETHING YOU DON'T SEE EVERY DAY. 37 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,577 A RAT THROWING UP FROM THE SMELL. 38 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:20,791 SO JUST TO RECAP, A RAT, THAT LIVES IN SQUALOR, 39 00:01:20,791 --> 00:01:22,203 IS THROWING UP FROM THE SMELL. 40 00:01:22,203 --> 00:01:24,125 - THE SMELL, OH, YEAH. - YEAH, OH, YOU GOT IT! 41 00:01:24,125 --> 00:01:25,756 [shudders] 42 00:01:25,756 --> 00:01:27,588 - YOU'RE THROWING THAT OUT? - YEAH, I HAVE TO. 43 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,130 IT'S TOUCHED TABLE GOO. 44 00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:32,383 - FYI, CARLOS, "GOO" IS A BIG WORD FOR "ICKY STUFF." 45 00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:35,216 - IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE ME? I DON'T SOUND LIKE THAT. 46 00:01:35,216 --> 00:01:36,597 - "HERE'S SOMETHING YOU DON'T SEE EVERY DAY. 47 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:39,019 GOO ON A TABLE." - [chuckles] 48 00:01:39,019 --> 00:01:41,602 - TO RECAP, EVERYONE, A TABLE WITH "GOO" ON IT. 49 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,144 - BURN NOTICE. 50 00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:44,565 - NO, I DON'T SAY "GOO" THAT WAY. 51 00:01:44,565 --> 00:01:46,066 - CARLOS, ONE. 52 00:01:46,066 --> 00:01:48,939 NINA, NOTHING. 53 00:01:48,939 --> 00:01:49,940 [groovy rock music] 54 00:01:49,940 --> 00:01:51,071 - ♪ HEY NOW 55 00:01:51,071 --> 00:01:53,654 ♪ 56 00:01:53,654 --> 00:01:55,446 ♪ HEY NOW 57 00:01:57,788 --> 00:01:59,079 - OH, NO. NO, NO, NO. 58 00:01:59,079 --> 00:02:00,621 NO, NOT TODAY, NOT TODAY. 59 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,373 COME ON, COME ON. DO SOMETHING. 60 00:02:02,373 --> 00:02:04,665 - COMPUTER FROZEN AGAIN, HUH? YOU TRIED RESTARTING IT? 61 00:02:04,665 --> 00:02:06,627 - HAVE YOU TRIED LOOKING LESS LIKE AN ASS WEASEL, 62 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:08,169 YOU ASS WEASEL? 63 00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:12,463 - ARE YOU REALLY THIS UPSET ABOUT YOUR COMPUTER? 64 00:02:12,463 --> 00:02:13,594 YOUR ANNIVERSARY, HUH? 65 00:02:13,594 --> 00:02:15,256 OH, THAT'S TOUGH. 66 00:02:15,256 --> 00:02:17,428 YOU AND ROSA WERE TOGETHER, WHAT, 30, 40 YEARS? 67 00:02:17,428 --> 00:02:20,471 - 11. WAIT, 30, 40? 68 00:02:20,471 --> 00:02:22,643 HOW OLD DO YOU THINK I AM? - I DON'T KNOW. 69 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:25,025 YOU DON'T LOOK 60, BUT YOU COULD PASS FOR 60. 70 00:02:25,025 --> 00:02:27,067 - PASS FOR 60? 71 00:02:27,067 --> 00:02:28,439 - I'M KIDDING. I'M MESSING WITH YOU. 72 00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:30,030 YOU GOT TO RELAX HERE, OKAY? 73 00:02:30,030 --> 00:02:31,362 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED? 74 00:02:31,362 --> 00:02:33,073 YOU NEED A NIGHT OUT, 75 00:02:33,073 --> 00:02:34,074 A NIGHT TO JUST FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING. 76 00:02:34,074 --> 00:02:35,656 AN ANTI-VERSARY. 77 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,658 - I'M GONNA GO HOME, OPEN UP A BOTTLE OF SCOTCH, 78 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,870 WRITE ROSA A LONG EMAIL, POUR THE SCOTCH ON THE COMPUTER, 79 00:02:39,870 --> 00:02:41,121 AND LIGHT THAT ON FIRE. 80 00:02:41,121 --> 00:02:42,833 - NO, NO, NO, NO. YOU NEED DISTRACTIONS TONIGHT. 81 00:02:42,833 --> 00:02:44,285 TRUST ME. 82 00:02:44,285 --> 00:02:45,876 I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, OKAY? 83 00:02:45,876 --> 00:02:47,248 WHO BETTER AT ESCAPING THEIR PROBLEMS THAN ME? 84 00:02:47,248 --> 00:02:50,000 OKAY? WHAT DO YOU SAY? LET ME TAKE YOU OUT. 85 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,002 WE'LL GO, WE'LL RAGE OUR FACES COMPLETELY OFF. 86 00:02:52,002 --> 00:02:54,215 DENNIS, YOU IN? - NO. 87 00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:56,847 - LARRY, DRINKS? - IN MY GYM BAG. 88 00:02:56,847 --> 00:02:58,469 HELP YOURSELF. 89 00:02:58,469 --> 00:03:02,303 - NO, I'M TALKING ABOUT GOING OUT TONIGHT AND RAGING, 90 00:03:02,303 --> 00:03:03,224 LETTING LOOSE, RAGING OUR FACES OFF. 91 00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:04,605 - IT'S KINDA LAST MINUTE. 92 00:03:04,605 --> 00:03:07,228 LET ME CHECK MY--I'M FREE. 93 00:03:07,228 --> 00:03:08,609 - SEE, HE'S IN, EVERYONE'S IN. 94 00:03:08,609 --> 00:03:10,110 LET'S DO THIS. 95 00:03:10,110 --> 00:03:12,072 - ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO THIS. 96 00:03:12,072 --> 00:03:14,445 I'LL LIGHT MY COMPUTER ON FIRE SOME OTHER NIGHT. 97 00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:15,486 - THAT'S THE SPIRIT. 98 00:03:15,486 --> 00:03:17,528 - YOU SEEM HAPPY. 99 00:03:17,528 --> 00:03:20,911 TEST RESULTS COME BACK NEGATIVE? - NO. 100 00:03:20,911 --> 00:03:22,453 WE ARE GOING OUT FOR A NIGHT OF DEBAUCHERY SO EPIC 101 00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:24,495 THAT CARLOS IS GONNA FORGET ABOUT HIS FIRST ANNIVERSARY 102 00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:27,127 APART FROM ROSA. 103 00:03:27,127 --> 00:03:29,089 IT'S GONNA BE A LOT MORE FUN THAN I JUST MADE IT SOUND. 104 00:03:29,089 --> 00:03:30,040 EVEN BORING LARRY'S IN. 105 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:32,132 - WOW. - YOU SHOULD COME. 106 00:03:32,132 --> 00:03:33,674 - I SO WOULD, BUT I HAVE PLANS. 107 00:03:33,674 --> 00:03:36,136 - AH, MUST BE PRETTY IMPORTANT PLANS THAT YOU 108 00:03:36,136 --> 00:03:38,759 CAN'T RESCHEDULE TO RALLY AROUND A BELOVED COLLEAGUE. 109 00:03:38,759 --> 00:03:40,721 - OKAY, IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE A SPA APPOINTMENT 110 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,343 AT THE FOUR SEASONS. 111 00:03:42,343 --> 00:03:44,054 I WOULD TOTALLY CANCEL, BUT IT'S A GIFT CERTIFICATE, 112 00:03:44,054 --> 00:03:45,936 AND IT EXPIRES TONIGHT. 113 00:03:45,936 --> 00:03:47,728 - OH, I GET IT. - YOU GET IT. 114 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,730 - I DO. NOW, I FORGET. 115 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:50,981 DO EUNUCHS MASSAGE YOU IN TRUFFLE OIL 116 00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:53,444 BEFORE OR AFTER THEY GIVE YOU A MONEY BATH? 117 00:03:53,444 --> 00:03:55,446 - HA, HA, HA. THERE'S NO MONEY BATH, 118 00:03:55,446 --> 00:03:57,948 BUT THEY DO WRAP YOU IN THIS WARM MUD 119 00:03:57,948 --> 00:03:59,360 AND THEN THESE HOT BLANKETS. 120 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:00,741 IT'S LIKE A-- IT'S LIKE A SOFT TACO. 121 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,323 IT'S KINDA NEXT LEVEL. 122 00:04:02,323 --> 00:04:04,164 - WELL, ANOTHER TIME THEN, YOU KNOW, 123 00:04:04,164 --> 00:04:06,537 WHEN YOU'RE NOT BUSY GETTING MUD IN YOUR TACO. 124 00:04:06,537 --> 00:04:07,998 - WOW, I SET YOU RIGHT UP FOR THAT. 125 00:04:12,923 --> 00:04:14,214 YOUR HONOR, MY CLIENT WOULD LIKE TO PLEAD GUILTY 126 00:04:14,214 --> 00:04:15,966 AND OFFER TESTIMONY IN EXCHANGE FOR PROBATION. 127 00:04:15,966 --> 00:04:18,218 - NO, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. NO, I'M NOT DOING THAT. 128 00:04:18,218 --> 00:04:20,180 LOOK, I'M NOT RATTING OUT NOBODY. 129 00:04:20,180 --> 00:04:21,382 - WE TALKED ABOUT THIS, AND I TOLD YOU THIS IS 130 00:04:21,382 --> 00:04:22,803 THE BEST DEAL YOU'RE GONNA GET. 131 00:04:22,803 --> 00:04:24,184 - MAYBE IT'S THE BEST DEAL YOU COULD GET, 132 00:04:24,184 --> 00:04:25,476 BUT NOT THE BEST DEAL I COULD GET. 133 00:04:25,476 --> 00:04:27,187 - YOU WERE CAUGHT WITH COKE IN YOUR BRA, 134 00:04:27,187 --> 00:04:29,560 SO I SUGGEST YOU TESTIFY AND STOP ACTING LIKE A BABY. 135 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:30,731 - GET OFF ME. - HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY! 136 00:04:30,731 --> 00:04:31,942 - WHOA! WHOA! 137 00:04:31,942 --> 00:04:34,154 - WAIT, WAIT. 138 00:04:34,154 --> 00:04:36,196 WHAT? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. 139 00:04:36,196 --> 00:04:38,569 LOOK, SHE JUST TRIPPED OVER HER STUPID STRIPPER HEELS. 140 00:04:38,569 --> 00:04:40,160 - YOU ASSAULTED YOUR ATTORNEY. 141 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:41,402 IF YOU'RE GONNA COMMIT ANOTHER FELONY, 142 00:04:41,402 --> 00:04:43,404 TRY NOT TO DO IT IN THE ACTUAL COURTROOM. 143 00:04:43,404 --> 00:04:44,785 - GREAT, A SCUFFMARK. 144 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:45,996 [scoffs] SUPER. 145 00:04:45,996 --> 00:04:46,997 - MY CONDOLENCES. 146 00:04:46,997 --> 00:04:48,829 LET ME KNOW WHERE TO SEND FLOWERS. 147 00:04:52,833 --> 00:04:55,966 - HEY, HOW WAS YOUR TRIP? DID YOU HAVE A NICE FALL? 148 00:04:55,966 --> 00:04:57,588 I HEAR THE FLOOR IS BEAUTIFUL THIS TIME OF YEAR. 149 00:04:57,588 --> 00:04:59,970 - OKAY, SO YOU DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT THE PART 150 00:04:59,970 --> 00:05:02,132 WHERE SHE THREW A GIANT CONNIPTION FIT. 151 00:05:02,132 --> 00:05:03,013 - WELL, YEAH, YOU WOULD TOO IF YOU HAD TO SPEND 152 00:05:03,013 --> 00:05:04,014 A NIGHT IN JAIL. 153 00:05:04,014 --> 00:05:06,016 - OH, PLEASE, ONE NIGHT. 154 00:05:06,016 --> 00:05:09,350 HOW BAD COULD IT BE? 155 00:05:09,350 --> 00:05:12,232 - WELL, YOU SURE KNOW A LOT ABOUT JAIL FOR SOMEONE 156 00:05:12,232 --> 00:05:15,235 WHO HASN'T BEEN HOOKED AND BOOKED LIKE THE REST OF US. 157 00:05:15,235 --> 00:05:17,197 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? - "HOOKED AND BOOKED." 158 00:05:17,197 --> 00:05:19,069 IT'S AN OLD TRADITION HERE IN THE PUBLIC DEFENDER'S OFFICE, 159 00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:21,281 IS THAT WE GET PROCESSED SO THAT WE UNDERSTAND BETTER 160 00:05:21,281 --> 00:05:22,403 WHAT OUR CLIENTS GO THROUGH. 161 00:05:22,403 --> 00:05:23,824 - YEAH, RIGHT, YOU DID THAT? 162 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,406 - YEAH, A LONG TIME AGO. 163 00:05:25,406 --> 00:05:26,867 EVERYONE DOES IT. 164 00:05:26,867 --> 00:05:28,539 - WHAT ARE YOU GONNA WEAR TONIGHT? 165 00:05:28,539 --> 00:05:30,210 I'LL PROBABLY WEAR WHAT I'M WEARING. 166 00:05:30,210 --> 00:05:32,252 - DID YOU GUYS DO THIS THING? 167 00:05:32,252 --> 00:05:34,625 YOU GO TO JAIL ON PURPOSE TO BECOME A BETTER LAWYER? 168 00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:36,667 - I WAS JUST TELLING NINA 169 00:05:36,667 --> 00:05:38,959 ABOUT THE "HOOKED AND BOOKED" THING. 170 00:05:38,959 --> 00:05:41,261 - OH, HOOKED AND BOOKED, THE HOOKED AND BOOKED THING. 171 00:05:41,261 --> 00:05:43,263 WE ALL DID IT. 172 00:05:43,263 --> 00:05:45,095 I REMEMBER WHEN I WENT IN, I MET THIS KID THERE. 173 00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:46,637 KENDRICK SYCAMORE. - OH, YEAH. 174 00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:52,563 - HE SAID TO ME, "CARLOS, I MAY NOT GET OUTTA HERE. 175 00:05:52,563 --> 00:05:54,274 SO YOU'RE GOTTA GO LIVE FOR BOTH OF US." 176 00:05:54,274 --> 00:05:56,186 - I MET A GUY NAMED LAMONT. 177 00:05:56,186 --> 00:05:58,439 HE ALSO SAID SOME STUFF. 178 00:05:58,439 --> 00:06:03,193 - OKAY, PHIL, WHAT'S YOUR STORY? 179 00:06:03,193 --> 00:06:06,617 - NINA, PHIL CAN'T TALK ABOUT HIS EXPERIENCE. 180 00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:09,580 BECAUSE HIS CELLMATE DIED. 181 00:06:09,580 --> 00:06:11,041 - DIED? 182 00:06:11,041 --> 00:06:12,583 OH, MY GOD, LIKE, IN FRONT OF HIM? 183 00:06:12,583 --> 00:06:16,707 - IT WAS YEARS LATER, BUT THEY WERE VERY, VERY CLOSE. 184 00:06:16,707 --> 00:06:19,209 - WELL, IF THIS IS A--LIKE, A THING YOU GUYS ALL DO, 185 00:06:19,209 --> 00:06:21,301 WHY IS THIS THE FIRST TIME I'M HEARING ABOUT IT? 186 00:06:21,301 --> 00:06:24,505 - WELL, I MEAN, YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY PART OF THE GANG. 187 00:06:24,505 --> 00:06:25,926 - EXCUSE ME, I AM PART OF THE GANG. 188 00:06:25,926 --> 00:06:28,809 - WHAT'S THE NAME OF MY BAND? 189 00:06:28,809 --> 00:06:30,140 TRICK QUESTION. 190 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,932 I'M NOT IN A BAND, AND YOU WOULD KNOW THAT 191 00:06:31,932 --> 00:06:33,313 IF YOU WERE PART OF THE GANG. 192 00:06:33,313 --> 00:06:36,226 - AND YOU HAVEN'T BEEN HOOKED AND BOOKED. 193 00:06:36,226 --> 00:06:37,478 MAYBE ONE DAY WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE SOME SPA TO GET TO, 194 00:06:37,478 --> 00:06:39,730 YOU CAN CONSIDER IT. 195 00:06:39,730 --> 00:06:41,822 - WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? 196 00:06:41,822 --> 00:06:44,114 CONSIDER IT... 197 00:06:44,114 --> 00:06:46,406 CONSIDERED. 198 00:06:49,079 --> 00:06:50,701 - SHE BOUGHT IT. 199 00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:51,742 - [whispering] SHE BOUGHT IT. 200 00:06:51,742 --> 00:06:54,124 - HOOKED AND BOOKED, LINE AND SINKER. 201 00:06:57,377 --> 00:06:58,539 - HAVE A GREAT NIGHT, CARLOS. 202 00:06:58,539 --> 00:07:01,171 - YOU TOO. ENJOY YOUR EXPENSIVE MUD. 203 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:04,134 - AGAIN, IT'S ONLY BECAUSE IT'S A GIFT CERTIFICATE. 204 00:07:04,134 --> 00:07:07,097 I'M THRIFTY, NOT CHICHI. 205 00:07:07,097 --> 00:07:08,639 MAYBE I CAN MEET UP WITH YOU GUYS AFTER. 206 00:07:08,639 --> 00:07:10,310 - OH, I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 207 00:07:10,310 --> 00:07:12,102 IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S GONNA BE FANCY OR ANYTHING. 208 00:07:12,102 --> 00:07:13,644 - LOOK, I HAVE THIS FEELING THAT YOU THINK THAT 209 00:07:13,644 --> 00:07:15,315 I'M SOME SORT OF-- - PRISS? 210 00:07:15,315 --> 00:07:16,647 - NO, I WAS GONNA SAY-- - SNOB? 211 00:07:16,647 --> 00:07:18,268 - WHAT? - BRAT? 212 00:07:18,268 --> 00:07:20,481 - NO, STANDOFFISH. - TIGHT-ASS. 213 00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:22,152 THAT'S IT. 214 00:07:22,152 --> 00:07:24,985 SEE YOU TOMORROW, WHITLEY. - YEAH. 215 00:07:29,409 --> 00:07:33,413 I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GONNA DO THIS. 216 00:07:33,413 --> 00:07:35,375 [elevator bell dings] 217 00:07:35,375 --> 00:07:38,959 - OH, I SEE SOMEONE'S SHOE HAS MADE A FULL RECOVERY. 218 00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,340 THANK YOU, JESUS. 219 00:07:40,340 --> 00:07:42,082 - HEY, MORRIS, QUICK QUESH. 220 00:07:42,082 --> 00:07:44,084 HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO GET PROCESSED? 221 00:07:44,084 --> 00:07:46,386 - OH, ABOUT AN HOUR OR SO. 222 00:07:46,386 --> 00:07:47,718 - SO, IF WE HUSTLE, I CAN PROBABLY STILL MAKE 223 00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:48,929 MY APPOINTMENT. 224 00:07:48,929 --> 00:07:50,681 LOCK ME UP. [both chuckle] 225 00:07:50,681 --> 00:07:52,392 - ARE YOU ACTUALLY ASKING ME TO ARREST YOU? 226 00:07:52,392 --> 00:07:54,394 - WELCOME TO THE CONVERSATION WE'RE HAVING. 227 00:07:54,394 --> 00:07:56,186 I'M DOING THE WHOLE HOOKED AND BOOKED THING 228 00:07:56,186 --> 00:07:57,518 THAT THE PDs DO. 229 00:07:57,518 --> 00:08:00,601 - OH, THE OLD HOOKED AND BOOKED THING. 230 00:08:00,601 --> 00:08:02,152 - YEAH. - WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO? 231 00:08:02,152 --> 00:08:04,314 I'D LOVE TO ARREST YOU FOR NO REASON, 232 00:08:04,314 --> 00:08:06,026 BUT LET'S SEE. 233 00:08:06,026 --> 00:08:07,778 WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I ARRESTED YOU FOR--OH! 234 00:08:07,778 --> 00:08:09,159 I WOULD LOSE MY JOB. 235 00:08:09,159 --> 00:08:11,111 - OKAY, SO YOU NEED A REASON. 236 00:08:11,111 --> 00:08:12,162 WELL, I'M NOT GONNA FLASH YOU MY TITS, IF THAT'S 237 00:08:12,162 --> 00:08:13,994 WHAT YOU'RE GETTING AT. 238 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,536 - IT'S NOT. 239 00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:19,209 - OH, OKAY, WELL, HOW ABOUT THIS? 240 00:08:19,209 --> 00:08:24,124 "I'M MORRIS, I'M VERY SERIOUS, BUT I WHERE A VERY FUNNY HAT." 241 00:08:24,124 --> 00:08:26,256 THAT'S ME. I'M IMPERSONATING AN OFFICER. 242 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:28,128 - YEAH, THAT'S NOT JAILABLE. 243 00:08:28,128 --> 00:08:31,181 THAT'S STUPID, WITH A SPLISH-SPLASH OF RACISM. 244 00:08:31,181 --> 00:08:32,052 - OKAY, UM... 245 00:08:32,052 --> 00:08:37,437 [snickers] HOW ABOUT THIS? 246 00:08:37,437 --> 00:08:39,399 - YOU JUST ASSAULTED AN OFFICER. 247 00:08:39,399 --> 00:08:41,061 - OW. 248 00:08:41,061 --> 00:08:42,563 OW. DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO TIGHT? 249 00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:44,404 - NO. 250 00:08:47,648 --> 00:08:49,700 - YOU ARE TAKING THIS VERY SERIOUSLY. 251 00:08:49,700 --> 00:08:51,702 THAT'S QUITE A GRIP. 252 00:08:51,702 --> 00:08:54,244 OKAY, YEAH, WE SHOULD PROBABLY DO THIS. 253 00:08:54,244 --> 00:08:56,036 MAKE IT MORE REAL. 254 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,618 - YOUR LEFT HAND, PLEASE. - OKAY. 255 00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:01,832 HI, YES, I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT TONIGHT 256 00:09:01,832 --> 00:09:03,624 FOR A MASSAGE AND A FACIAL, AND I JUST WANTED TO CALL 257 00:09:03,624 --> 00:09:05,505 BECAUSE I'M GONNA BE JUST A SCOOCH LATE. 258 00:09:05,505 --> 00:09:07,507 YEAH, PROBABLY, LIKE, 7:30. 259 00:09:10,470 --> 00:09:12,382 UM, THESE ARE REALLY EXPENSIVE, 260 00:09:12,382 --> 00:09:14,304 SO IF YOU COULD JUST PUT THEM IN A... 261 00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:17,097 OKAY, IS A MUG SHOT REALLY NECESSARY? 262 00:09:17,097 --> 00:09:19,059 - NOT REALLY. [camera shutter clicks] 263 00:09:21,141 --> 00:09:22,683 [women catcalling] 264 00:09:22,683 --> 00:09:23,894 - THANKS FOR THE SOCKS. 265 00:09:23,894 --> 00:09:26,486 OH, CREEPY. [chuckles] 266 00:09:26,486 --> 00:09:29,279 SO HOW LONG DO PUBLIC DEFENDERS USUALLY STAY IN? 267 00:09:29,279 --> 00:09:31,612 LIKE, A TIGHT 15? 268 00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:33,744 OOH, LOOK AT THIS. 269 00:09:33,744 --> 00:09:35,746 OH, NO. 270 00:09:35,746 --> 00:09:37,327 NO, NO, NO. NO, NO, NO. 271 00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:39,079 SIR, I'M A PUBLIC DEFENDER DOING THE WHOLE 272 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,540 JAIL EXPERIENCE THING. 273 00:09:40,540 --> 00:09:42,002 NO, YOU CAN'T-- YOU CAN'T LOCK ME UP 274 00:09:42,002 --> 00:09:43,463 WITH HARDENED CRIMINALS. 275 00:09:43,463 --> 00:09:45,415 IS MORRIS HERE? 'CAUSE HE KNOWS THE WHOLE DEAL. 276 00:09:45,415 --> 00:09:47,547 - MORRIS WENT HOME. - NO. NO. SIR! 277 00:09:47,547 --> 00:09:49,710 YOU CAN'T LOCK ME UP WITH THESE PSYCHOS. 278 00:09:49,710 --> 00:09:51,632 - PSYCHOS? 279 00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:53,093 - NO, NOT YOU GUYS. 280 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,926 BEFORE, THERE WERE OTHER PSYCHOS IN HERE, 281 00:09:55,926 --> 00:09:58,558 BUT THEY'RE GONE NOW, SO WE'RE SAFE. 282 00:09:58,558 --> 00:09:59,850 - YO, GOLDILOCKS. 283 00:09:59,850 --> 00:10:02,562 - YEAH. 284 00:10:02,562 --> 00:10:04,224 - YOU'RE ROCKING THAT SHIRT, LAR. 285 00:10:04,224 --> 00:10:06,727 - I CALL THIS ONE "THE PARTY STARTER." 286 00:10:06,727 --> 00:10:08,228 I ALMOST WORE MY OTHER SHIRT, BUT-- 287 00:10:08,228 --> 00:10:10,320 - ALL RIGHT, GENTLEMAN, HOPE YOU GOT YOUR "A" GAMES, 288 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:13,153 BECAUSE AS THE INSTIGATOR FOR TONIGHT'S SHENANIGANS, 289 00:10:13,153 --> 00:10:16,286 I'M HERE TO TELL YOU THAT SH-- IS ABOUT TO GET REAL. 290 00:10:16,286 --> 00:10:19,910 CARLOS, TO YOUR ANTI-VERSARY. 291 00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:21,161 IT'S NOT GONNA DRINK ITSELF. 292 00:10:21,161 --> 00:10:22,913 - SORRY, I GOT WING HANDS. 293 00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:24,745 - WING HANDS? - "SLIPPERY." 294 00:10:24,745 --> 00:10:26,546 "SAUCE ON THE RIM." 295 00:10:26,546 --> 00:10:28,168 SPLASH-BACK GETS IN YOUR EYES. 296 00:10:28,168 --> 00:10:30,250 I DON'T LOOK GOOD WITH A PATCH ON MY EYE, GUYS. 297 00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:32,963 [laughs] 298 00:10:32,963 --> 00:10:35,135 I'M CUTTING BACK ON THE DRINKING. 299 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,137 - CUTTING BACK? YOU'VE HAD TWO VODKA TONICS. 300 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,558 - THEY'RE JUST TONICS. - WHAT? 301 00:10:38,558 --> 00:10:41,141 I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA RAGE OUR FACES OFF. 302 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,562 - ROSA HAS ALWAYS FELT THAT I'VE DRANK A LITTLE TOO MUCH, 303 00:10:42,562 --> 00:10:43,974 SO I'M TAKING A LITTLE BREAK. 304 00:10:43,974 --> 00:10:46,066 IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL. WHATEVER. 305 00:10:46,066 --> 00:10:47,397 THIS IS GREAT. LET'S KEEP THIS PARTY GOING. 306 00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:49,569 SHOTS! - OKAY, NOW YOU'RE READY. 307 00:10:49,569 --> 00:10:50,981 - NO, NOT FOR ME. YOU GUYS. 308 00:10:50,981 --> 00:10:54,194 DO IT. GO! 309 00:10:54,194 --> 00:10:55,776 - [sighs] 310 00:10:55,776 --> 00:10:57,698 ALL RIGHT, WELL, I GOT MORE THAN JUST BOOZE PLANNED. 311 00:10:57,698 --> 00:10:59,579 ALL RIGHT? 312 00:10:59,579 --> 00:11:00,490 TONIGHT WE ARE GONNA GET YOU A GIRL. 313 00:11:00,490 --> 00:11:02,202 - OKAY, IF I'M GONNA START DATING, 314 00:11:02,202 --> 00:11:04,164 I'M GONNA NEED ANOTHER TONIC. - NO, NO, NO. 315 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,746 I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT KINDA GIRL. 316 00:11:05,746 --> 00:11:09,289 I'M TALKING ABOUT THOSE CHICKS. 317 00:11:09,289 --> 00:11:12,382 HMM? HMM? 318 00:11:12,382 --> 00:11:15,345 - "DANGER, WILL ROBINSON." 319 00:11:15,345 --> 00:11:18,348 - HMM? - WOW. 320 00:11:18,348 --> 00:11:19,299 - ONE HAND. 321 00:11:19,299 --> 00:11:23,143 OR NONE. 322 00:11:23,143 --> 00:11:24,604 - IT'S JUST I DON'T BELONG HERE. 323 00:11:24,604 --> 00:11:25,856 I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. 324 00:11:25,856 --> 00:11:27,307 - IT SAYS HERE YOU ASSAULTED AN OFFICER. 325 00:11:27,307 --> 00:11:28,729 - NO, THAT WAS A JOKE. 326 00:11:28,729 --> 00:11:30,150 THAT WAS-- - I DON'T SEE HOW THAT'S FUNNY. 327 00:11:30,150 --> 00:11:31,651 - JUST CALL PHIL QUINLAN, ALL RIGHT? 328 00:11:31,651 --> 00:11:32,983 HE'S A PUBLIC DEFENDER. HE'LL EXPLAIN. 329 00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:35,025 LOOK, I JUST REALLY HAVE TO PEE, 330 00:11:35,025 --> 00:11:36,947 SO MAYBE I COULD JUST USE THE LADY'S ROOM. 331 00:11:36,947 --> 00:11:39,319 - USE THE HOLE PROVIDED. 332 00:11:48,498 --> 00:11:51,211 - WOULD YOU GALS MIND LOOKING AWAY? 333 00:11:54,334 --> 00:11:58,218 PERFECT. 334 00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,840 ALL RIGHTY. 335 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:03,143 I JUST GOT TO GET THESE DOWN. 336 00:12:03,143 --> 00:12:04,394 OH, GOD. 337 00:12:04,394 --> 00:12:07,347 OH. 338 00:12:07,347 --> 00:12:09,439 OH, YOU KNOW, FOR A METAL SEAT, 339 00:12:09,439 --> 00:12:13,774 YOU'D THINK IT'D BE COLD, BUT IT'S ACTUALLY WARM. 340 00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:16,236 OH, HEY. HEY, DID YOU CALL PHIL QUINLAN? 341 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:17,617 AM I GETTING RELEASED? 342 00:12:21,361 --> 00:12:23,073 - HEY, PRINCESS. 343 00:12:23,073 --> 00:12:26,416 - HEY, BABY. 344 00:12:28,829 --> 00:12:29,830 - AREN'T YOU GLAD WE CAME OUT? 345 00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:31,501 - YEAH. 346 00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,834 - OH, AND, APRIL, I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT WE BOTH 347 00:12:33,834 --> 00:12:36,006 LIKE MOVIES AND FOOD. 348 00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:37,928 IT'S LIKE WE SHARE A BRAIN. 349 00:12:37,928 --> 00:12:40,260 CARLOS, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU AND-- 350 00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,472 - SPARROW. 351 00:12:42,472 --> 00:12:44,304 - FEATHER. - FEATHER. 352 00:12:44,304 --> 00:12:46,226 - FEATHER. FEATHER. 353 00:12:46,226 --> 00:12:47,647 YOU AND FEATHER REALLY SEEM TO BE HITTING IT OFF, HUH? 354 00:12:47,647 --> 00:12:49,479 YOU WANT TO PEEL-- - OR LATER. 355 00:12:49,479 --> 00:12:52,192 WE CAN JUST HANG OUT AND CHILL IT HERE. 356 00:12:52,192 --> 00:12:53,273 - OR WE COULD PEEL. 357 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:55,065 - YEAH. YOU COULD PEEL. 358 00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:57,397 - NO. 359 00:12:57,397 --> 00:13:00,400 I'M NOT READY TO TAKE SOMEONE OVER TO MY APARTMENT YET. 360 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,492 - TO YOUR APARTMENT? 361 00:13:02,492 --> 00:13:04,865 I MEANT, LIKE, PEEL TO A BETTER BAR. 362 00:13:04,865 --> 00:13:06,957 - BETTER THAN RASCALS? 363 00:13:06,957 --> 00:13:08,038 - LET'S GO TO HOOLIGANS. 364 00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:11,962 THEY HAVE REAL LAWYERS THERE. 365 00:13:11,962 --> 00:13:13,253 - I JUMPED THE GUN. 366 00:13:13,253 --> 00:13:14,254 THAT WAS ON ME. 367 00:13:14,254 --> 00:13:15,415 - DAMN IT. IT'S FINE. 368 00:13:15,415 --> 00:13:16,416 - ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT? WHO CARES? 369 00:13:16,416 --> 00:13:17,627 WHO CARES? 370 00:13:17,627 --> 00:13:19,299 OKAY? WE'RE HAVING FUN. 371 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,421 LARRY'S DOING THAT. 372 00:13:23,263 --> 00:13:24,134 LET THEM GO. 373 00:13:24,134 --> 00:13:25,225 WE'LL RALLY, OKAY? 374 00:13:25,225 --> 00:13:26,556 YOU'RE GREAT. COME ON. 375 00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:27,848 - YEAH! YEAH! 376 00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:29,139 - RALLY IT UP. - THAT'S RIGHT. 377 00:13:29,139 --> 00:13:30,310 YEAH, WE'LL RALLY, WE'LL RALLY. 378 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,142 WE'LL TAKE IT UP TO THE NEXT LEVEL. 379 00:13:32,142 --> 00:13:33,643 - YOU DON'T MEAN GOING TO A STRIP CLUB, DO YOU? 380 00:13:33,643 --> 00:13:35,145 - OH, THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN A STRIP CLUB. 381 00:13:35,145 --> 00:13:36,857 - OH, OKAY. 382 00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:40,740 - ♪ KARAOKE STRIP CLUB HERE WE COME ♪ 383 00:13:40,740 --> 00:13:42,282 COME ON. AREN'T YOU EXCITED? 384 00:13:42,282 --> 00:13:44,244 - I'M EXCITED, PHIL. THIS IS GREAT. 385 00:13:44,244 --> 00:13:45,866 - ALL RIGHT, YOU DON'T LOOK EXCITED. 386 00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:47,367 - WELL-- - IS IT THE DRIVING THING? 387 00:13:47,367 --> 00:13:48,949 BECAUSE LARRY PROMISED THAT HE'D BE DESIGNATED DRIVER AND-- 388 00:13:48,949 --> 00:13:51,751 - I TOLD A FIB. 389 00:13:51,751 --> 00:13:54,294 - NO, YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME, AND THIS IS--IT'S SUPER PRIMO. 390 00:13:54,294 --> 00:13:56,336 - WHY AREN'T YOU RAGING YOUR FACE OFF? 391 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,918 WHY DID YOU EVEN COME OUT? 392 00:13:57,918 --> 00:14:01,381 - BECAUSE IT SEEMED IMPORTANT TO YOU. 393 00:14:01,381 --> 00:14:02,382 - TO ME? WHAT? - YEAH. 394 00:14:02,382 --> 00:14:04,094 - NO, IT'S IMPORTANT TO YOU. 395 00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:06,306 - WELL, I KNOW SOMETIMES YOU GET A LITTLE LONELY. 396 00:14:06,306 --> 00:14:09,890 - WHERE IS THIS--WHAT ARE YOU-- WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM? 397 00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:12,272 - PHIL, YOU'VE TOLD ME BEFORE YOU'RE SOMETIMES WORRIED 398 00:14:12,272 --> 00:14:13,313 ABOUT DYING ALONE. 399 00:14:13,313 --> 00:14:14,524 - WHOA, WHOA. 400 00:14:14,524 --> 00:14:15,936 WHAT ARE YOU EVEN--WHAT? 401 00:14:15,936 --> 00:14:17,397 THAT'S CRAZY. 402 00:14:17,397 --> 00:14:19,189 LARRY, I'VE NEVER-- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 403 00:14:19,189 --> 00:14:20,190 I NEV--NO. 404 00:14:20,190 --> 00:14:21,191 NO. 405 00:14:21,191 --> 00:14:22,482 THIS IS YOUR NIGHT. 406 00:14:22,482 --> 00:14:24,154 YOU COULD DO ANYTHING TONIGHT. 407 00:14:24,154 --> 00:14:25,195 WHA--WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? 408 00:14:25,195 --> 00:14:26,286 - HONESTLY? - YEAH. 409 00:14:26,286 --> 00:14:27,697 - I JUST WANT TO GO HOME. 410 00:14:27,697 --> 00:14:29,329 I WANT TO BE ON MY HALF OF THE COUCH, 411 00:14:29,329 --> 00:14:31,581 AND ROSA ON HER HALF OF THE COUCH, 412 00:14:31,581 --> 00:14:35,755 MAYBE WITH HER FEET UP, AND WE'RE JUST WATCHING TV, 413 00:14:35,755 --> 00:14:38,548 AND IT'S CORNY, AND IT'S JUST NICE. 414 00:14:38,548 --> 00:14:39,549 YOU KNOW? 415 00:14:39,549 --> 00:14:43,343 - NO, I DON'T. 416 00:14:43,343 --> 00:14:45,845 WISH I DID. 417 00:14:49,009 --> 00:14:50,140 YOU KNOW WHAT? 418 00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:51,221 - HMM? 419 00:14:51,221 --> 00:14:52,222 - WE'RE GONNA GET ROSA BACK. 420 00:14:52,222 --> 00:14:53,223 - MM. - YEAH, WE ARE. 421 00:14:53,223 --> 00:14:54,224 RIGHT NOW. 422 00:14:54,224 --> 00:14:55,395 TURN THIS PUPPY AROUND. 423 00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,316 WE'RE GONNA GO GET HER BACK. 424 00:14:56,316 --> 00:14:57,317 ROSA, WE'RE COMING FOR YOU. 425 00:14:57,317 --> 00:14:58,318 COME ON. 426 00:14:58,318 --> 00:14:59,819 - PHIL, HEY, HEY! 427 00:14:59,819 --> 00:15:01,361 WE'RE GOING 60 MILES PER HOUR! 428 00:15:01,361 --> 00:15:03,323 - RIGHT. 429 00:15:03,323 --> 00:15:04,734 WE'RE IN A CAR. 430 00:15:04,734 --> 00:15:06,196 - IT'S KARAOKE TIME. 431 00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:07,197 - OKAY, LARRY. HEY, HEY! 432 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:10,410 - [pops knuckles] COME ON. 433 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,992 - OKAY, AS YOUR LAWYER, I NEED TO ADVISE YOU 434 00:15:11,992 --> 00:15:13,793 TO NOT BUST MY WHITE MEAT. 435 00:15:13,793 --> 00:15:14,794 - YOU SCARED? 436 00:15:14,794 --> 00:15:15,996 - NO. MM-MM. 437 00:15:15,996 --> 00:15:17,377 - NO? YOU AIN'T SCARED? 438 00:15:17,377 --> 00:15:19,169 - NO. NO, I'M NOT--I'M NOT SCARED. 439 00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:20,630 IN FACT, I FIGHT PEOPLE ALL THE TIME. 440 00:15:20,630 --> 00:15:22,172 - UH-HUH? 441 00:15:22,172 --> 00:15:23,633 - AND SOMETHING ELSE YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME 442 00:15:23,633 --> 00:15:25,385 IS THAT I GREW UP WITH THREE BROTHERS WHO ARE HUGE, 443 00:15:25,385 --> 00:15:27,597 AND THEY USED TO BEAT ME UP EVERY DAY. 444 00:15:27,597 --> 00:15:28,598 - OH, THAT'S JUST SAD. 445 00:15:28,598 --> 00:15:30,010 - NO, IT'S TOUGH. 446 00:15:30,010 --> 00:15:32,973 MY POINT IS THAT IT'S-- 447 00:15:32,973 --> 00:15:34,854 OH, MY GOD. I THINK I BROKE MY HAND. 448 00:15:34,854 --> 00:15:36,606 - YOU GOT TO PUT YOUR THUMB ON THE OUTSIDE OF YOUR FIST. 449 00:15:36,606 --> 00:15:39,439 [both grunting] 450 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,021 [buzzer] - UH-UH. 451 00:15:41,021 --> 00:15:42,232 WHERE YOU GOING, HUH? 452 00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:43,233 WHERE YOU GOING? 453 00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:44,824 - NO FIGHTING! 454 00:15:44,824 --> 00:15:47,367 - AH! 455 00:15:47,367 --> 00:15:49,489 - OH, SURE. 456 00:15:49,489 --> 00:15:51,371 TASE THE MINORITY. WELL, YOU KNOW-- 457 00:15:51,371 --> 00:15:52,622 AH! [groans] 458 00:15:56,626 --> 00:15:59,499 - OH, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I NEEDED THIS 459 00:15:59,499 --> 00:16:01,081 AFTER THE DAY I HAD. 460 00:16:01,081 --> 00:16:03,793 - JUST RELAX AND ENJOY. 461 00:16:03,793 --> 00:16:05,885 I GOT YOU, BOO. 462 00:16:05,885 --> 00:16:09,679 [buzzer] - OH, MY GOD. 463 00:16:09,679 --> 00:16:11,591 - THAT TASER KNOCKED YOU OUT COLD. 464 00:16:11,591 --> 00:16:12,722 - YOU UP? 465 00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:13,723 GOOD. 466 00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:14,854 NOW I CAN SLAP YOU AGAIN. 467 00:16:14,854 --> 00:16:17,557 - CAN WE JUST CALL A TRUCE? 468 00:16:17,557 --> 00:16:18,098 - SO WHAT, I'M JUST SUPPOSED TO FORGET THAT YOUR 469 00:16:18,098 --> 00:16:19,899 UGLY SHOES ARE WHAT GOT ME IN HERE? 470 00:16:19,899 --> 00:16:21,361 - OH, SURE, 'CAUSE MY SHOES ARE THE ONES 471 00:16:21,361 --> 00:16:22,602 THAT PUT THE DRUGS IN YOUR BRA. 472 00:16:22,602 --> 00:16:24,234 - OKAY, THAT WASN'T EVEN MY FAULT EITHER. 473 00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:25,735 MY BOYFRIEND ASKED ME TO-- 474 00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:27,107 - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 475 00:16:27,107 --> 00:16:29,409 YOUR BOYFRIEND? 476 00:16:29,409 --> 00:16:32,282 WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THE DRUGS WERE YOUR BOYFRIEND'S? 477 00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:36,666 - BECAUSE I LOVE HIM. 478 00:16:36,666 --> 00:16:39,209 - YOU LOVE A GUY WHO WOULD LET YOU ROT IN HERE FOR HIS DRUGS? 479 00:16:39,209 --> 00:16:41,251 I MEAN, HOW DUMB CAN YOU BE? 480 00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:43,253 PLEASE DON'T HIT ME AGAIN. 481 00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:45,925 - [scoffs] LIKE YOU NEVER DONE ANYTHING DUMB FOR A GUY BEFORE. 482 00:16:45,925 --> 00:16:47,047 - NO, I HAVE, LOTS OF THINGS, 483 00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:51,261 BUT NOTHING AS DUMB AS GOING TO JAIL FOR A...GUY. 484 00:16:51,261 --> 00:16:54,844 OH, MY GOD. I'M DOING IT RIGHT NOW. 485 00:16:54,844 --> 00:16:56,936 I'M IN JAIL FOR A GUY. 486 00:16:56,936 --> 00:16:58,478 all: OOH. 487 00:16:58,478 --> 00:17:00,060 - NO, OKAY, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT. 488 00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,601 IT'S THIS GUY PHIL THAT I WORK WITH, 489 00:17:01,601 --> 00:17:02,602 AND I JUST--I DIDN'T WANT HIM TO THINK 490 00:17:02,602 --> 00:17:03,603 I WAS SOME SORT OF-- 491 00:17:03,603 --> 00:17:04,444 - BRAT? - SISSY? 492 00:17:04,444 --> 00:17:05,565 - BOUGIE? - PRINCESS? 493 00:17:05,565 --> 00:17:06,646 - SKINNY BITCH? - BARBIE? 494 00:17:06,646 --> 00:17:07,947 - DIPSH--? - FANCY PANTS? 495 00:17:07,947 --> 00:17:10,280 - OKAY--FANCY PANTS? 496 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:11,821 THAT'S THE VIBE I GIVE OFF? 497 00:17:11,821 --> 00:17:13,283 'CAUSE I REALLY THOUGHT THAT I WAS LIKE 498 00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:15,075 A NINA FROM THE BLOCK. 499 00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:16,076 - YOU AIN'T FROM MY BLOCK. 500 00:17:16,076 --> 00:17:16,956 - ALL RIGHT, WHATEVER. 501 00:17:16,956 --> 00:17:17,957 WE'RE NOT THAT DISSIMILAR. 502 00:17:17,957 --> 00:17:19,619 OKAY? 503 00:17:19,619 --> 00:17:21,040 WE'RE BOTH IN HERE 'CAUSE OF GUYS. 504 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,873 - AT LEAST MINE GOES DOWN ON ME ON THE REGULAR. 505 00:17:23,873 --> 00:17:25,295 - LIKE, HOW REGULAR? 506 00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:26,626 'CAUSE THAT IS HARD TO FIND. 507 00:17:26,626 --> 00:17:28,338 AND MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T RAT HIM OUT--YOU SHOULD. 508 00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:29,379 YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY-- YOU SHOULD RAT-- 509 00:17:29,379 --> 00:17:30,550 YOU SHOULD RAT HIM OUT. 510 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:33,223 YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY RAT HIM OUT. 511 00:17:33,223 --> 00:17:34,764 - OH, I THINK--I'M GOOD. 512 00:17:34,764 --> 00:17:36,306 - OKAY. - YOU'RE MISSING A STEP. 513 00:17:36,306 --> 00:17:37,137 OOH. 514 00:17:37,137 --> 00:17:38,438 - OKAY. 515 00:17:38,438 --> 00:17:39,439 - ALL RIGHT. 516 00:17:39,439 --> 00:17:40,640 - OKAY. - YOU GET THERE. 517 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,732 I'M GONNA GET A BETTER-- - PHIL. 518 00:17:42,732 --> 00:17:44,444 PHIL. 519 00:17:44,444 --> 00:17:45,945 - SHH. - PHIL. 520 00:17:45,945 --> 00:17:46,946 - YEAH? 521 00:17:46,946 --> 00:17:49,068 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 522 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,690 YOU'RE HIDING BEHIND THE PALM TREE. 523 00:17:50,690 --> 00:17:52,452 THAT'S YOUR PLAN FOR GETTING MY WIFE BACK? 524 00:17:52,452 --> 00:17:53,863 - TO HELP. 525 00:17:53,863 --> 00:17:55,955 TO SIGNAL YOU WHEN TO KEEP TALKING, 526 00:17:55,955 --> 00:17:58,328 AND WHEN TO STOP TALKING LIKE A THIRD-BASE COACH... 527 00:17:58,328 --> 00:17:59,829 [deep voice] OF LOVE. 528 00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:02,542 - JUST SHH! 529 00:18:02,542 --> 00:18:03,543 - NO, NO, NO, NO. 530 00:18:03,543 --> 00:18:05,835 KNOCK LIKE A MAN. 531 00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:11,671 OKAY, I SEE SOMETHING. 532 00:18:11,671 --> 00:18:13,012 ALL RIGHT. 533 00:18:13,012 --> 00:18:14,884 NOW, THE FIRST WORDS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH SHOULD BE-- 534 00:18:14,884 --> 00:18:18,638 - SHH! - YOU SHH. 535 00:18:18,638 --> 00:18:19,849 UH, YOU SHOULD RUN. 536 00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,271 - WHAT? - REALLY FAST. 537 00:18:21,271 --> 00:18:22,272 - NO! - YEAH, NO, NO. 538 00:18:22,272 --> 00:18:23,273 IT'S MYSTERIOUS. 539 00:18:23,273 --> 00:18:24,144 GIRLS LOVE THAT KINDA THING. 540 00:18:24,144 --> 00:18:25,775 - [groans] - YEAH. 541 00:18:25,775 --> 00:18:27,897 NO, NO, SHE'LL BE ANALYZING IT FOR DAYS. 542 00:18:27,897 --> 00:18:29,028 SHE'LL BE LIKE, "WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?" 543 00:18:29,028 --> 00:18:31,281 - I WANT TO SIT ON MY COUCH. - WE GOTTA MOVE! 544 00:18:31,281 --> 00:18:32,652 SHE CAN SEE US THROUGH THE DOOR. LET'S GO. 545 00:18:32,652 --> 00:18:33,943 - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 546 00:18:33,943 --> 00:18:35,825 THERE'S A GUY IN THERE. 547 00:18:38,828 --> 00:18:40,450 WAIT, SHOULD WE GO BACK AND BEAT HIM UP OR SOMETHING? 548 00:18:40,450 --> 00:18:41,411 - I DON'T KNOW. 549 00:18:41,411 --> 00:18:43,122 I MEAN, HE WAS PRETTY FIT. 550 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,874 - HOW FIT? ON A SCALE FROM ONE TO TEN. 551 00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:45,955 - MARK WAHLBERG. 552 00:18:45,955 --> 00:18:47,167 - [grunts] 553 00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,963 - HOW'D IT GO WITH ROSA? 554 00:18:53,963 --> 00:18:55,845 - GOOD. 555 00:18:55,845 --> 00:18:56,846 PHASE ONE COMPLETE. 556 00:18:56,846 --> 00:18:58,388 - THANK YOU. 557 00:18:58,388 --> 00:19:00,139 - WHEW. 558 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:03,973 I WAS WORRIED SHE MAY BE IN THERE BANGING SOME DUDE. 559 00:19:03,973 --> 00:19:04,974 AWKWARD. 560 00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:17,367 - [sharp breaths] 561 00:19:20,830 --> 00:19:22,582 IT'S FROZEN, AND BEFORE YOU ASK, 562 00:19:22,582 --> 00:19:24,163 YES, I TRIED RESTARTING IT. 563 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,335 - OKAY, WELL, PLEASE JUST DON'T FREAK OUT. 564 00:19:25,335 --> 00:19:27,587 - NO, I'M NOT. 565 00:19:27,587 --> 00:19:30,340 I'M JUST GETTING SOME LIGHT CARDIO IN WHILE IT REBOOTS. 566 00:19:30,340 --> 00:19:32,592 IF ROSA WANTS MARK WAHLBERG, 567 00:19:32,592 --> 00:19:34,594 THEN MARK WAHLBERG SHE SHALL HAVE. 568 00:19:34,594 --> 00:19:36,716 [sharp breaths] 569 00:19:36,716 --> 00:19:38,348 AH! 570 00:19:39,969 --> 00:19:42,932 - HEY, THERE SHE IS, ALL RELAXED AND RESTED 571 00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:44,224 FROM A NIGHT OF LUXURY. 572 00:19:44,224 --> 00:19:45,895 - YEAH, NO, I SKIPPED THE SPA, 573 00:19:45,895 --> 00:19:50,189 AND I DECIDED TO EMBRACE THE TRADITION, 574 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:53,443 AND SPEND A NIGHT IN JAIL, SO... 575 00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:54,814 - WELCOME TO THE CLUB, HUH? 576 00:19:54,814 --> 00:19:55,945 THERE YOU GO. 577 00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:56,946 RIGHT, GUYS? 578 00:19:56,946 --> 00:19:58,077 - YEAH, HOW WAS IT? 579 00:19:58,077 --> 00:19:59,319 - PRETTY INTENSE. 580 00:19:59,319 --> 00:20:00,580 I MEAN, I GOT IN A FIGHT, AND I HAD TO PEE 581 00:20:00,580 --> 00:20:02,412 IN FRONT OF A LOT OF WOMEN. 582 00:20:02,412 --> 00:20:04,033 - LIKE, A FIGHT, FIGHT? 583 00:20:04,033 --> 00:20:04,954 - YEAH, FULL ON. 584 00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:06,085 - NOT BAD FOR A PRISS. 585 00:20:06,085 --> 00:20:07,537 - I GOT TO ADMIT IT REALLY HELPED ME 586 00:20:07,537 --> 00:20:09,629 UNDERSTAND MY CLIENT BETTER, YOU KNOW. 587 00:20:09,629 --> 00:20:11,751 AND SHE'S A FREE WOMAN NOW, SO I GUESS IT WAS WORTH 588 00:20:11,751 --> 00:20:12,752 GETTING TASED. 589 00:20:12,752 --> 00:20:14,334 - TA--TASED? 590 00:20:14,334 --> 00:20:17,006 - YEAH, NOT A GREAT FEELING. [laughs] 591 00:20:17,006 --> 00:20:18,097 BUT I WANT TO HEAR ALL ABOUT YOUR GUYS' NIGHT, 592 00:20:18,097 --> 00:20:19,839 SO I'M JUST GONNA FRESHEN UP FIRST. 593 00:20:19,839 --> 00:20:22,762 THEY TAUGHT ME HOW TO DO A WHOLE SHOWER IN A SINK. 594 00:20:22,762 --> 00:20:24,223 - HUH. 595 00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:25,725 - IT'S, LIKE, A ONE, TWO... [whistles] 596 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,977 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 597 00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:29,479 - SHE CAN NEVER KNOW ABOUT THIS. 598 00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:30,770 - NEVER, EVER. 599 00:20:30,770 --> 00:20:32,562 - YOU THINK THEY GOT THE TASING ON VIDEO? 600 00:20:32,562 --> 00:20:34,984 - LARRY. - THAT'S RUDE. 601 00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:37,907 - I BET MORRIS HAS IT. 602 00:20:37,907 --> 00:20:38,988 - HUH. 603 00:20:42,572 --> 00:20:43,573 WAIT UP, GUYS. 604 00:20:47,327 --> 00:20:49,078 - HEY, NINA. - YEAH. 605 00:20:49,078 --> 00:20:50,500 - WE ALL PITCHED IN, AND GOT YOU A LITTLE SOMETHING 606 00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:51,871 TO WELCOME YOU TO THE PD FRATERNITY. 607 00:20:51,871 --> 00:20:54,504 - WHAT? - MM-HMM. 608 00:20:54,504 --> 00:20:57,176 - A GIFT CERTIFICATE FOR A ONE-HOUR 609 00:20:57,176 --> 00:20:59,509 AT MISS HOLLYWOOD'S THAI MASSAGE. 610 00:20:59,509 --> 00:21:00,300 AWW. 611 00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:01,301 IS IT A BROTHEL? 612 00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:03,303 - ONLY CERTAIN ROOMS. 613 00:21:03,303 --> 00:21:04,434 IT'S CLASSIER THAN YOU THINK. 614 00:21:04,434 --> 00:21:06,556 - WELL, IT'S VERY SWEET. THANK YOU. 615 00:21:06,556 --> 00:21:07,767 - IT WAS PRETTY COOL OF YOU TO GIVE UP YOUR SPA DAY 616 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:08,768 TO HANG OUT IN JAIL, SO... 617 00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,189 - HEY, PHIL. - YEAH. 618 00:21:10,189 --> 00:21:12,982 - HERE'S THAT VIDEO YOU WANTED. 619 00:21:12,982 --> 00:21:14,153 - WHAT WAS THAT? 620 00:21:14,153 --> 00:21:16,526 - OH, IT'S YOU GETTING TASED. 621 00:21:16,526 --> 00:21:18,358 BZZZ. [laughs] 622 00:21:18,358 --> 00:21:20,530 OH. 623 00:21:20,530 --> 00:21:21,401 WHAT, THEY DIDN'T TELL YOU IT WAS A PRANK? 624 00:21:21,401 --> 00:21:23,363 - DUDE. MORRIS. 625 00:21:23,363 --> 00:21:24,324 - OH. - YOU EVER HEARD OF A SECRET? 626 00:21:24,324 --> 00:21:26,326 - WHATEVS. 627 00:21:26,326 --> 00:21:28,167 - A PRANK? 628 00:21:28,167 --> 00:21:29,118 - YOU SEE, IT'S SOMETHING WE DO-- 629 00:21:29,118 --> 00:21:30,249 - A PRANK? - OOF! 630 00:21:30,249 --> 00:21:33,793 YO. - WOW. 631 00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:35,415 - HUH. YOU KNOW WHAT? 632 00:21:35,415 --> 00:21:37,337 IT REALLY DOES WORK TO KEEP THE THUMB ON THE OUTSIDE. 633 00:21:37,337 --> 00:21:39,178 DID NOT FEEL THAT AT ALL. 44016

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