Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,048 --> 00:00:08,588
GIRLS, HURRY UP!
2
00:00:08,589 --> 00:00:10,429
WE'RE GONNA BE IN HAWAII
WITHOUT YOU!
3
00:00:10,431 --> 00:00:12,091
OKAY, I'M ALL SET.
4
00:00:12,093 --> 00:00:14,273
JAY, WHAT IS ALL OF THIS?
5
00:00:14,265 --> 00:00:15,685
ALL OF THIS IS OUR LUGGAGE --
6
00:00:15,686 --> 00:00:17,226
ALL THE STUFF
WE'RE GONNA NEED FOR HAWAII.
7
00:00:17,228 --> 00:00:19,308
WE'RE GONNA VISIT HAWAII,
NOT CONQUER IT.
8
00:00:21,442 --> 00:00:23,272
JAY, LOOKED HOW I PACKED.
9
00:00:23,274 --> 00:00:25,324
I GOT EVERYTHING I NEED
RIGHT IN THIS LITTLE THING.
10
00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:26,946
THESE ARE THE CRITICALS,
OKAY?
11
00:00:26,947 --> 00:00:29,197
I HAVE A COUPLE OF PAIR
OF PANTS, A COUPLE OF SHIRTS,
12
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:30,950
A HAWAIIAN SHIRT,
WIZARDS JERSEY, HAT --
13
00:00:30,951 --> 00:00:32,321
THAT'S IT.
THE CRITICALS.
14
00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:35,163
THE REASON WHY YOU CAN
AFFORD TO PACK LIKE THAT
15
00:00:35,156 --> 00:00:37,366
IS BECAUSE I PACK
ALL THE CRAP YOU FORGET.
16
00:00:37,368 --> 00:00:39,498
RIGHT IN HERE,
THIS IS ALL YOUR CLOTHES.
17
00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:42,080
YOU KNOW WHAT? WE'RE GONNA
LEAVE THAT RIGHT THERE.
18
00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:45,723
I'M GONNA SHOW YOU THAT I CAN
GET BY WITH JUST THE CRITICALS.
19
00:00:45,716 --> 00:00:48,006
ALL RIGHT,
I'LL TAKE THIS UPSTAIRS.
20
00:00:48,008 --> 00:00:49,588
OKAY, YOU DO THAT.
ALL RIGHT, I'M NOT PLAYING.
21
00:00:49,590 --> 00:00:51,380
HEY, ARE YOU PACKED?
22
00:00:51,382 --> 00:00:53,882
I GOT EVERYTHING I NEED
RIGHT THERE.
23
00:00:53,884 --> 00:00:56,234
[ CHUCKLES ]
ALL RIGHT.
24
00:00:56,227 --> 00:00:59,597
A TANK TOP -- CONDOMS?
25
00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:01,980
JUST THE CRITICALS.
26
00:01:03,984 --> 00:01:06,454
AND WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
YOUR LUCK WITH WOMEN
27
00:01:06,447 --> 00:01:08,487
IS GONNA BE ANY DIFFERENT
IN HAWAII?
28
00:01:08,489 --> 00:01:09,859
THIS.
29
00:01:09,860 --> 00:01:11,650
"HOW TO SEDUCE WOMEN"?
30
00:01:11,652 --> 00:01:14,702
YEAH, IT'S FULL OF GREAT
PICKUP LINES.
31
00:01:16,327 --> 00:01:18,077
"ARE THOSE SPACE PANTS
YOU'RE WEARING?
32
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,998
'CAUSE YOUR BUTT
IS OUT OF THIS WORLD."
33
00:01:21,001 --> 00:01:24,171
IS THAT A ROCK ON YOUR SHOULDER,
OR ARE YOU JUST STUPID?
34
00:01:24,165 --> 00:01:27,465
[ LAUGHS ]
I'M GOING TO SCORE, DAD.
35
00:01:27,468 --> 00:01:29,208
YOU DON'T HAVE TO GIVE ME
THE BIG SPEECH
36
00:01:29,210 --> 00:01:31,420
ABOUT BEING SAFE
AND RESPONSIBLE.
37
00:01:31,422 --> 00:01:33,092
JUST HAVE FAITH IN ME.
38
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,563
I HAVE FAITH THAT YOU'RE GONNA
BE TWISTING THESE
39
00:01:34,555 --> 00:01:35,975
INTO SLIPPERY
LITTLE BALLOON ANIMALS
40
00:01:35,976 --> 00:01:37,846
BEFORE YOU FIND A WOMAN
TO USE THEM ON.
41
00:01:37,848 --> 00:01:40,638
NOW GO UPSTAIRS
AND PACK SOME CLOTHES.
42
00:01:40,641 --> 00:01:42,771
ALL RIGHT, BABY,
WE ARE READY!
43
00:01:42,773 --> 00:01:43,773
GREAT.
44
00:01:43,774 --> 00:01:45,444
DO YOU HAVE THE TICKETS?
45
00:01:45,436 --> 00:01:48,986
YEP, I'VE GOT ALL 25 BOARDING
PASSES RIGHT HERE.
46
00:01:48,989 --> 00:01:50,609
25 BOARDING PASSES?
47
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,821
BABY, WE'RE NOT GOING
NONSTOP TO HAWAII?
48
00:01:52,823 --> 00:01:54,503
OH, HECK, NO.
49
00:01:54,495 --> 00:01:56,695
THOSE ARE
THE SUCKER TICKETS.
50
00:01:56,697 --> 00:01:58,407
SEE, I GOT US A DISCOUNT.
51
00:01:58,409 --> 00:02:00,159
BESIDES,
THIS IS A GOOD CHANCE
52
00:02:00,161 --> 00:02:03,291
FOR THE KIDS TO SEE THIS BIG,
BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY OF OURS.
53
00:02:03,294 --> 00:02:06,344
HOW EXACTLY
ARE WE GETTING TO HAWAII?
54
00:02:06,337 --> 00:02:07,797
OH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL, JAY.
55
00:02:07,798 --> 00:02:09,628
WE GO NEW YORK, SCRANTON,
RIGHT?
YEAH.
56
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,960
SCRANTON TO CHICAGO --
THAT'S THE WINDY CITY.
57
00:02:11,962 --> 00:02:13,922
YOU GET A LITTLE WIND
IN YOUR HAIR. WHOOSH.
58
00:02:13,924 --> 00:02:16,564
THEN WE ZIP OVER TO DENVER,
OKAY, HAVE AN OMELET,
59
00:02:16,557 --> 00:02:19,637
SHOOT TO WISCONSIN,
GET SOME CHEESE FOR THE OMELET,
60
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:22,520
THEN WE ZIP BACK
TO NEW YORK,
61
00:02:22,523 --> 00:02:24,143
AND THEN -- BAM!
62
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:27,324
NEXT DAY, STRAIGHT SHOT --
STRAIGHT SHOT TO HAWAII.
63
00:02:29,029 --> 00:02:30,899
NOW, COME HERE.
64
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:33,031
LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT THE FIRST
NIGHT IN HAWAII'S GONNA BE LIKE.
65
00:02:33,033 --> 00:02:35,703
I CAN'T FIND LITTLE PIPI,
AND I'M NOT LEAVING WITHOUT HER!
66
00:02:35,696 --> 00:02:37,406
IT'S OKAY.
67
00:02:37,408 --> 00:02:39,078
I PACKED HER RIGHT IN
THIS SUITCASE, SHE'S GOOD.
68
00:02:39,079 --> 00:02:42,119
YOU PACKED HER?!
ARE YOU INSANE?!
69
00:02:42,122 --> 00:02:45,292
SHE'LL DIE! GET HER OUT!
HURRY, HURRY!
70
00:02:45,286 --> 00:02:48,456
OH, LORDY, NOT MY BABY!
71
00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:50,089
DON'T TAKE MY DOLL BABY!
72
00:02:50,090 --> 00:02:51,340
OH, SHE'S RIGHT HERE!
73
00:02:51,342 --> 00:02:52,882
TAKE ME INSTEAD!
74
00:02:52,883 --> 00:02:54,093
HERE, HERE!
75
00:02:54,094 --> 00:02:56,804
SHE'S RIGHT HERE.
SHE'S FINE.
76
00:02:56,797 --> 00:02:58,177
AND NO MORE
"COLOR PURPLE" FOR YOU.
77
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,718
YEAH!
78
00:03:00,721 --> 00:03:01,931
HEY.
YEAH?
79
00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:03,302
THE SOONER
WE GET OUT OF HERE,
80
00:03:03,304 --> 00:03:05,404
THE SOONER WE CAN START
OUR "HONEYMOAN."
81
00:03:05,396 --> 00:03:06,896
"HONEYMOAN?"
82
00:03:06,897 --> 00:03:08,517
YEAH. I'M PLANNING ON
MAKIN' MY HONEY MOAN.
83
00:03:08,519 --> 00:03:10,189
[ LAUGHS ]
84
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,070
JUST THINK, JAY.
85
00:03:12,072 --> 00:03:14,662
WE'RE GONNA BE WALKING
THE BEACHES OF OAHU
86
00:03:14,655 --> 00:03:17,985
IN A MERE 43 HOURS.
87
00:03:40,010 --> 00:03:44,850
OKAY, KIDS, JUST 11 MORE HOURS
TILL HAWAII!
88
00:03:44,845 --> 00:03:46,185
[ LAUGHS ]
89
00:03:46,186 --> 00:03:47,686
OKAY, LET ME DECIDE.
90
00:03:47,688 --> 00:03:50,018
AM I GONNA SIT IN THE WINDOW
SEAT OR THE AISLE SEAT?
91
00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:51,610
UNH-UNH, NOT AGAIN.
HERE WE GO AGAIN.
92
00:03:51,612 --> 00:03:53,022
LORD, JUST STRIKE ME
DOWN RIGHT NOW
93
00:03:53,023 --> 00:03:54,703
IF I GOT TO HEAR
THE WINDOW/AISLE DEBATE
94
00:03:54,695 --> 00:03:56,405
ONE MORE TIME, LORD.
JUST GO ON AND GET ME.
95
00:03:56,407 --> 00:03:59,617
JAY, THIS IS
A VERY IMPORTANT DECISION.
96
00:03:59,620 --> 00:04:01,700
THERE'S ONLY ONE ADULT WAY
TO DO IT.
97
00:04:01,702 --> 00:04:04,032
EENY, MEENY, MINY, MOE.
98
00:04:04,034 --> 00:04:05,544
CATCH A PIGGY BY THE TOE.
99
00:04:05,536 --> 00:04:07,246
IF HE HOLLERS,
LET HIM GO.
100
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,207
EENY, MEENY, MINY, MOE.
101
00:04:09,209 --> 00:04:12,289
MY MOTHER SAID
TO PICK THIS ONE.
102
00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:15,723
NOT BECAUSE YOU'RE DIRTY,
NOT BECAUSE YOU'RE CLEAN,
103
00:04:15,716 --> 00:04:18,176
BUT BECAUSE
YOU KISSED THE GIRL
104
00:04:18,178 --> 00:04:21,258
BEHIND THE PLAYBOY
MAG...A...
105
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,591
...ZINE!
ZINE.
106
00:04:24,645 --> 00:04:30,015
AND...YOU'RE...NOT...IT.
107
00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:31,690
Woman: SIR!
108
00:04:31,692 --> 00:04:34,782
THE PILOT SAID WE'RE NOT LEAVING
TILL YOU TAKE YOUR SEAT,
109
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:35,895
SO PLEASE SIT DOWN.
110
00:04:35,896 --> 00:04:37,196
OKAY, I'LL HURRY IT UP.
111
00:04:37,197 --> 00:04:38,447
ONE POTATO
TWO POTATO --
112
00:04:38,449 --> 00:04:40,399
GET OUT OF MY WAY!
113
00:04:40,401 --> 00:04:42,821
HEY, I PAID MY $83
JUST LIKE THE REST OF YOU!
114
00:04:44,365 --> 00:04:46,495
SIT DOWN, AND GIVE ME
YOUR RING AGAIN
115
00:04:46,497 --> 00:04:48,037
BECAUSE I AM NOT GONNA DEAL
116
00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:50,538
WITH THE "KYLE IN-FLIGHT
SWOLLEN-KNUCKLE SYNDROME."
117
00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:51,711
NOW GIVE IT TO ME.
118
00:04:51,712 --> 00:04:53,002
IT'S GOUT, JAY, OKAY?
119
00:04:53,003 --> 00:04:55,093
THEY DON'T HAVE TELETHONS
FOR IT.
120
00:04:55,085 --> 00:04:57,125
LOU RAWLS IS NOT SINGING
ABOUT IT.
121
00:04:57,127 --> 00:04:58,677
THERE'S NO LITTLE PINS.
122
00:04:58,679 --> 00:05:03,509
IT'S NOT AS SEXY
AS LUPUS OR EMPHYSEMA,
123
00:05:03,514 --> 00:05:05,194
BUT IT'S A SERIOUS AILMENT.
124
00:05:05,185 --> 00:05:08,015
THAT'S WHY MY FATHER'S FEET
LOOK LIKE DRIFTWOOD.
125
00:05:08,018 --> 00:05:09,558
GOUT!
126
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:12,020
MY DADDY HAS GOUT!
127
00:05:12,022 --> 00:05:13,522
Jay: GIVE ME THE RING.
128
00:05:13,524 --> 00:05:14,534
SIT DOWN!
129
00:05:14,525 --> 00:05:17,145
IT IS SO EMBARRASSING.
130
00:05:17,147 --> 00:05:18,697
YOU ARE JUST EMBARRASSING.
131
00:05:18,699 --> 00:05:20,279
WHOA!
132
00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:22,110
WHAT DID YOU DO
TO YOUR CHAIR?!
133
00:05:22,112 --> 00:05:24,032
A LITTLE MANEUVER
CALLED "SITTING."
134
00:05:24,034 --> 00:05:26,544
WELL, WE HAVE NO OTHER SEATS
AVAILABLE IN COACH,
135
00:05:26,537 --> 00:05:29,287
SO I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA
HAVE TO PUT YOU IN FIRST CLASS.
136
00:05:29,289 --> 00:05:31,749
[ LAUGHS ] HEY, WAIT --
YOU SAID, "FIRST CLASS"?
137
00:05:31,752 --> 00:05:33,912
I'VE NEVER BEEN
IN FIRST CLASS BEFORE.
138
00:05:33,914 --> 00:05:35,224
WHAT'S FIRST CLASS LIKE?
139
00:05:35,215 --> 00:05:36,955
IT'S NICE.
140
00:05:36,957 --> 00:05:38,877
NICE LIKE YOU?
141
00:05:38,879 --> 00:05:41,129
WOW.
142
00:05:41,131 --> 00:05:42,921
WELL, THAT WOULD BE UNFAIR
143
00:05:42,923 --> 00:05:46,183
IF I LEFT MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE
HERE AND MY CHILDREN.
144
00:05:46,176 --> 00:05:48,266
OKAY, EENY, MEENY,
MINY, MOE.
145
00:05:48,268 --> 00:05:49,388
YOU CAN --
146
00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:51,390
[ ALL SHOUTING ]
147
00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:53,062
OKAY!
148
00:05:53,063 --> 00:05:56,283
WHAT ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT?!
I'M MARRIED TO HIM!
149
00:05:56,276 --> 00:05:58,896
ENJOY YOUR PEANUTS
AND COCA-COLAS!
150
00:05:58,899 --> 00:06:01,279
RIGHT THIS WAY, MR. KYLE.
151
00:06:01,281 --> 00:06:02,781
YOU'RE IN 2-B.
152
00:06:02,783 --> 00:06:05,163
OR NOT 2-B.
[ LAUGHS ]
153
00:06:05,155 --> 00:06:07,365
THAT'S SHAKESPEARE.
I JUST MADE THAT UP.
154
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,487
OH, THAT'S BRILLIANT.
155
00:06:08,489 --> 00:06:09,579
THANK YOU.
156
00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:15,383
HEY!
HEY, I KNOW YOU!
157
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,415
I DON'T BELIEVE
WE'VE EVER MET.
158
00:06:17,418 --> 00:06:20,628
COME ON, YOU'RE PAGE 26 OF THE
VICTORIA'S SECRET CATALOG.
159
00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:22,461
HUH?
YOU WERE LIKE THIS.
160
00:06:22,463 --> 00:06:23,713
YOU POSED LIKE THIS.
161
00:06:23,714 --> 00:06:25,474
AND YOU HAD THAT FACE LIKE,
162
00:06:25,466 --> 00:06:28,806
"OOH, I HOPE MY DADDY DON'T
SEE ME IN THESE LITTLE PANTIES."
163
00:06:28,809 --> 00:06:30,509
[ LAUGHS ]
THAT'S RIGHT.
164
00:06:30,511 --> 00:06:33,351
WELL, I'M FLATTERED
THAT YOU REMEMBERED.
165
00:06:33,353 --> 00:06:34,783
I'M VERONICA JONES.
166
00:06:34,775 --> 00:06:36,355
I'M MICHAEL KYLE.
167
00:06:36,356 --> 00:06:39,016
SO, WHAT, ARE YOU GOING ON
VACATION OR SOMETHING?
168
00:06:39,019 --> 00:06:40,399
NO, ACTUALLY BUSINESS.
169
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,190
WE'RE DOING
A LINGERIE SHOOT.
170
00:06:42,192 --> 00:06:43,362
HMM.
171
00:06:43,363 --> 00:06:45,833
THESE ARE
ALL THE OTHER MODELS.
172
00:06:45,826 --> 00:06:47,156
YEAH.
173
00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:49,157
THAT'S PAGE 7 RIGHT THERE,
MM-HMM.
174
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:50,869
AND THAT'S PAGE 12!
175
00:06:50,871 --> 00:06:52,991
HEY, IT'S ME -- MIKE!
176
00:06:52,993 --> 00:06:54,293
[ LAUGHS ]
177
00:06:54,294 --> 00:06:55,384
WOULD YOU LIKE A TOWEL?
178
00:06:55,375 --> 00:06:56,665
SURE.
179
00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,087
OH, THAT'S HOT!
180
00:06:58,088 --> 00:07:00,338
I AM SO SORRY.
I SHOULD HAVE WARNED YOU.
181
00:07:00,340 --> 00:07:02,040
CAN I GET YOU
SOME CHAMPAGNE?
182
00:07:02,042 --> 00:07:05,182
SURE, IF YOU
DON'T BOIL IT FIRST.
183
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:06,755
BOIL IT.
184
00:07:06,757 --> 00:07:08,927
[ LAUGHTER ]
185
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,509
[ Laughing ]
DELIGHTFUL.
186
00:07:10,511 --> 00:07:13,891
[ LAUGHS ] THOSE JOKES
DON'T WORK BACK THERE.
187
00:07:13,894 --> 00:07:17,734
HEY, DO YOUR KNUCKLES SWELL
WHEN YOU FLY, TOO?
188
00:07:17,728 --> 00:07:19,438
YEAH, ALL THE TIME.
189
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,859
MY MASSEUSE SHOWED ME
THE BEST WAY TO RELIEVE THAT.
190
00:07:21,862 --> 00:07:23,652
HERE --
GIVE ME YOUR HAND.
191
00:07:23,654 --> 00:07:24,784
I'LL SHOW YOU.
192
00:07:24,775 --> 00:07:26,485
IT'S OKAY.
[ LAUGHS ]
193
00:07:26,487 --> 00:07:28,737
JUST RELAX.
194
00:07:28,739 --> 00:07:31,739
JUST SORT OF APPLY
A NICE, LIGHT PRESSURE.
195
00:07:31,742 --> 00:07:34,372
OOH, I FEEL THE PRESSURE.
[ LAUGHS ]
196
00:07:34,374 --> 00:07:37,294
UH, CAN I HAVE ANOTHER TOWEL,
PLEASE? A COLD ONE.
197
00:07:49,089 --> 00:07:51,219
ALOHA.
198
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:54,521
ALOHA.
199
00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:56,355
ALOHA.
IT MEANS WELCOME TO HAWAII.
200
00:07:56,356 --> 00:07:57,936
OH, THANK YOU.
201
00:07:57,938 --> 00:07:59,518
WE SAY "MAHALO" IN HAWAII.
202
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,020
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
THANK YOU.
203
00:08:01,021 --> 00:08:02,481
YOU'RE WELCOME.
204
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,872
WOULD YOU LIKE A LEI?
205
00:08:04,865 --> 00:08:08,655
I WAS JUST ABOUT TO ASK YOU
THE SAME QUESTION.
206
00:08:08,659 --> 00:08:10,159
[ LAUGHS ]
207
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,950
THIS IS GONNA BE EASIER
THAN I THOUGHT, DAD.
208
00:08:18,579 --> 00:08:20,499
MICHAEL!
209
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,080
MICHAEL!
210
00:08:22,082 --> 00:08:23,422
MICHAEL, CAN YOU HELP ME
WITH MY SHOES?
211
00:08:23,423 --> 00:08:24,803
OH, HEY, BABY!
212
00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:26,505
AND GET KADY OFF
THE CAROUSEL, PLEASE.
213
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,836
YOU WANT THE SHOES
OR YOU WANT THE BABY?
214
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,510
I'M THINKING.
215
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,261
OKAY.
216
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,403
I'LL GET THE KID.
217
00:08:35,395 --> 00:08:36,845
WHEE!
218
00:08:36,847 --> 00:08:38,897
I CAN'T STOP IT!
219
00:08:38,899 --> 00:08:42,099
BUT YOU GOTTA--
I CAN'T STOP IT!
220
00:08:42,102 --> 00:08:46,702
OKAY.
1...2...3...4...
221
00:08:46,697 --> 00:08:49,277
both: WHEE!
222
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:50,449
WHOO!
223
00:08:50,450 --> 00:08:52,320
THAT WAS A GREAT RIDE.
224
00:08:52,322 --> 00:08:53,652
HERE. JUMP OFF.
225
00:08:53,654 --> 00:08:54,794
WHOO!
226
00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:57,995
OKAY. WE GOT TO STOP
FOOLING AROUND
227
00:08:57,998 --> 00:08:59,998
'CAUSE WE GOT TO HELP
YOUR MOMMY COUNT BAGS.
228
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,960
15. OKAY, GOOD.
I GOT ALL MY BAGS.
229
00:09:02,963 --> 00:09:04,723
SO, WHERE'S MINE?
230
00:09:04,715 --> 00:09:06,925
I DON'T KNOW, MICHAEL.
I HAVE 15 BAGS TO LOOK AFTER.
231
00:09:06,927 --> 00:09:09,167
YOU ONLY HAVE ONE.
232
00:09:09,169 --> 00:09:10,719
THAT'S IT?
233
00:09:10,721 --> 00:09:13,341
WHERE'S MY CRITICALS?
234
00:09:13,343 --> 00:09:15,683
SO YOU LOST
YOUR CRITICALS?
235
00:09:15,676 --> 00:09:17,226
NO. I DIDN'T LOSE
MY CRITICALS.
236
00:09:17,227 --> 00:09:19,227
THE AIRLINES LOST
MY CRITICALS.
237
00:09:19,229 --> 00:09:22,439
OH, IT'S TOO BAD YOU TOLD ME
TO TAKE ALL YOUR EXTRA CLOTHING
238
00:09:22,442 --> 00:09:24,312
OUT OF MY LUGGAGE.
239
00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:26,784
I GUESS THAT WAS
A CRITICAL MISTAKE.
240
00:09:26,777 --> 00:09:30,447
YOUR MAMA SAID "CRITICAL"!
[ LAUGHING ]
241
00:09:30,450 --> 00:09:32,780
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
242
00:09:32,783 --> 00:09:35,503
HA HA!
243
00:09:38,458 --> 00:09:40,658
OH, MY GOD, MICHAEL,
LOOK AT THIS PLACE!
244
00:09:40,661 --> 00:09:42,081
I GOT TO GET THIS PICTURE.
245
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,752
OKAY,
EVERYBODY GET TOGETHER.
246
00:09:43,754 --> 00:09:45,174
COME ON, GUYS.
COME ON.
247
00:09:45,165 --> 00:09:46,165
SMILE.
248
00:09:46,166 --> 00:09:48,296
SAY..."PARADISE."
249
00:09:48,298 --> 00:09:50,508
PARA--
PARA--
PARA--
PARA--
250
00:09:50,510 --> 00:09:53,840
UH, ANNIE LEIBODITZ,
LET US SAY THE WORD.
251
00:09:53,844 --> 00:09:55,184
THAT PICTURE GONNA COME OUT
LOOKING LIKE THIS...
252
00:09:55,175 --> 00:09:56,265
PARA--
253
00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:00,889
EXCUSE ME, MISS?
YES?
254
00:10:00,891 --> 00:10:02,851
IF I COULD REARRANGE THE LETTERS
OF THE ALPHABET,
255
00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:05,233
I'D PUT "U"
AND "I" TOGETHER.
256
00:10:05,225 --> 00:10:06,725
THAT IS SO SWEET.
257
00:10:06,727 --> 00:10:07,937
CAN I TOUCH YOU?
258
00:10:09,690 --> 00:10:12,320
JUNIOR, COME HERE.
STEP IN MY OFFICE.
259
00:10:12,322 --> 00:10:15,162
GIVE ME THE BOOK,
SON.
WHAT?
260
00:10:16,326 --> 00:10:17,326
OW!
261
00:10:18,498 --> 00:10:20,118
COME ON, DAD.
262
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,500
THAT BOOK IS GONNA GET ME A LOT
OF WAKA-NOCKA-NOCKA.
263
00:10:22,502 --> 00:10:24,002
WOMEN DON'T WANT YOU
TALKING TO THEM
264
00:10:24,004 --> 00:10:25,344
LIKE THEY'RE
SOME KIND OF OBJECT.
265
00:10:25,335 --> 00:10:27,165
THEY WANT YOU TO COMMUNICATE
WITH THEM
266
00:10:27,167 --> 00:10:29,167
ON A DEEPER EMOTIONAL LEVEL.
267
00:10:29,169 --> 00:10:30,879
HOW DO I DO THAT?
268
00:10:30,881 --> 00:10:33,301
I DON'T KNOW,
BUT THAT'S THE JOURNEY.
269
00:10:33,303 --> 00:10:34,513
[ SIGHS ]
270
00:10:34,514 --> 00:10:36,434
WELCOME
TO THE ROYAL HAWAIIAN.
271
00:10:36,426 --> 00:10:37,756
MAY I TAKE YOUR LUGGAGE?
272
00:10:37,758 --> 00:10:39,428
YOU CAN DEFINITELY
TAKE MINE.
273
00:10:39,429 --> 00:10:40,759
RIGHT AWAY, MISS.
274
00:10:40,761 --> 00:10:42,351
AND IF THERE'S ANYTHING
I CAN DO
275
00:10:42,352 --> 00:10:43,472
TO MAKE YOUR STAY
MORE PLEASURABLE,
276
00:10:43,473 --> 00:10:45,983
DON'T HESITATE
TO CALL ME.
277
00:10:45,976 --> 00:10:48,606
HEY, YOUNG MAN,
I'VE GOT A TIP FOR YOU.
278
00:10:48,608 --> 00:10:51,318
NO. IT'S RIGHT HERE
AT THE END OF MY SHOE.
279
00:10:51,321 --> 00:10:53,531
I WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT'S MY DAUGHTER,
280
00:10:53,533 --> 00:10:57,783
SO I...GOT MY EYE...
ON YOU.
281
00:10:57,778 --> 00:10:59,658
YES, SIR.
282
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:02,279
SO YOU CAN START WITH MY TRUNK
RIGHT THERE.
283
00:11:02,282 --> 00:11:05,882
THAT'S WHERE I KEEP ALL
MY INSTRUMENTS OF KILLING
284
00:11:05,876 --> 00:11:08,876
FROM WHEN I WAS
A TORTURER OVER IN 'NAM.
285
00:11:08,879 --> 00:11:11,499
YES, SIR.
286
00:11:11,501 --> 00:11:14,461
HEY, BABY GIRL.
287
00:11:17,387 --> 00:11:19,057
[ LAUGHING ]
288
00:11:19,059 --> 00:11:22,059
I'M SORRY, SIR.
YOU WERE EXPECTED 18 HOURS AGO.
289
00:11:22,062 --> 00:11:24,222
UNFORTUNATELY, THERE
ARE NO MORE ROOMS AVAILABLE.
290
00:11:24,224 --> 00:11:26,194
YOU MEAN THIS BIG,
BEAUTIFUL HOTEL
291
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,686
DOESN'T HAVE ONE EMPTY ROOM?
292
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,187
WELL, WE DO HAVE
THE TIKI-TIKI SUITE.
293
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:33,400
WELL, THEN, HOW MUCH IS
THE TIKI-TIKI SUITE?
294
00:11:33,403 --> 00:11:35,033
HMM.
295
00:11:35,025 --> 00:11:38,235
WOW. THE TIKI-TIKI TAKEY-TAKEY
A LOT OF MOOLA-MOOLA.
296
00:11:38,238 --> 00:11:40,448
MICHAEL RICHARD KYLE...
HMM?
297
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:43,450
YOU HAD ME FLYING ALL OVER
THIS COUNTRY FOR 2 1/2 DAYS.
298
00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:45,503
YOU'D BETTER TAKE
THAT DAMN SUITE.
299
00:11:45,495 --> 00:11:48,125
I'M GONNA TAKE THE SUITE.
I WAS JUST KIDDING WITH YOU.
300
00:11:48,128 --> 00:11:50,378
BUT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
TO WORK IT OFF, THOUGH.
301
00:11:50,380 --> 00:11:51,790
YOU KNOW WHAT, MICHAEL?
302
00:11:51,792 --> 00:11:53,752
CAN YOU TRY TO BE ROMANTIC
ON THIS TRIP?
303
00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:55,264
CAN YOU DO THAT FOR ME?
304
00:11:55,255 --> 00:11:57,095
DIDN'T I TRY TO DRAG YOU
INTO THE BATHROOM
305
00:11:57,097 --> 00:11:58,547
ON THE PLANE TO SCRANTON?
306
00:11:58,548 --> 00:11:59,928
THAT IS NOT ROMANTIC.
307
00:11:59,930 --> 00:12:01,930
I WANT TO BE WINED AND DINED,
MICHAEL.
308
00:12:01,932 --> 00:12:05,112
I GAVE YOU A PACK OF PEANUTS
AND A $7 COKE.
309
00:12:05,105 --> 00:12:06,605
THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH
FOR YOU?
310
00:12:06,606 --> 00:12:08,146
LOOK AT THEM. SEE?
311
00:12:08,148 --> 00:12:10,308
THAT'S WHAT YOU
NEED TO GET BACK TO.
312
00:12:10,310 --> 00:12:13,850
WHAT -- A YOUNGER WOMAN?
313
00:12:13,854 --> 00:12:15,534
HEY, LOOK.
314
00:12:15,525 --> 00:12:17,355
THAT GUY'S GOT ON
MY WIZARDS JERSEY.
315
00:12:17,357 --> 00:12:19,157
MILLIONS OF PEOPLE HAVE
WIZARDS JERSEYS, MICHAEL.
316
00:12:19,159 --> 00:12:20,619
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
317
00:12:20,620 --> 00:12:22,490
THAT PARTICULAR WIZARDS JERSEY
IS YOURS?
318
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:25,332
BECAUSE THEY ONLY MADE
TWO POPEYE JONES JERSEYS,
319
00:12:25,325 --> 00:12:27,415
AND POPEYE WEARS
THE OTHER ONE.
320
00:12:27,417 --> 00:12:28,577
CHECK IT OUT, DAD.
321
00:12:28,578 --> 00:12:30,168
I FOUND THIS NEW BOOK.
322
00:12:30,170 --> 00:12:32,250
IT'S JUST WHAT
YOU WERE SAYING.
323
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,582
WOW, "HOW TO COMMUNICATE
WITH WOMEN SUBLIMINALLY."
324
00:12:34,584 --> 00:12:36,844
YEAH. 'CAUSE, SEE,
I FIGURE I'M NOT THAT GOOD
325
00:12:36,837 --> 00:12:39,337
AT COMMUNICATING WITH THEM
ON A LIMINAL LEVEL.
326
00:12:39,339 --> 00:12:40,799
RIGHT.
327
00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:43,181
SO I'M TRYING TO GO
BELOW THE LIMINAL,
328
00:12:43,183 --> 00:12:45,153
HENCE, SUBLIMINAL.
329
00:12:45,145 --> 00:12:47,555
WOW. YOU'RE A REGULAR
"JACKASSANOVA."
330
00:12:47,557 --> 00:12:48,977
YEAH.
331
00:12:48,979 --> 00:12:50,599
LET ME SEE YOU WORK
SOME OF YOUR MAGIC.
332
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,810
ALL RIGHT.
WATCH THIS, WATCH THIS.
333
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:54,863
GOOD AFTERNOON.
TAKE OFF YOUR TOP.
334
00:12:54,855 --> 00:12:57,275
IT'S A LOVELY DAY,
ISN'T IT?
335
00:13:06,576 --> 00:13:07,956
BABY, COME HERE!
LOOK AT THIS BALCONY!
336
00:13:07,958 --> 00:13:10,408
LOOK AT THIS VIEW!
LOOK, IT'S DIAMONDHEAD --
337
00:13:10,410 --> 00:13:12,790
RIGHT OVER THERE.
WOW!
338
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,712
WHOO! THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.
339
00:13:14,714 --> 00:13:16,134
YES.
340
00:13:16,126 --> 00:13:18,336
HEY, LOOK AT THERE --
THE INNER SANCTUM.
341
00:13:18,338 --> 00:13:19,338
COME HERE, BABY.
342
00:13:19,339 --> 00:13:20,379
WHOO-HOO-HOO!
343
00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:22,130
OOH, YEAH.
344
00:13:22,132 --> 00:13:23,632
THIS IS INCREDIBLE.
345
00:13:23,633 --> 00:13:25,813
OH, MY GOODNESS.
IT'S GONNA HAPPEN IN HERE.
346
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,265
WHAT?
347
00:13:27,267 --> 00:13:29,057
YEAH, WE GONNA PLAY
"HIDE THE MONKEY" IN HERE.
348
00:13:29,059 --> 00:13:31,139
MICHAEL, THE KIDS ARE
RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOOR.
349
00:13:31,141 --> 00:13:33,561
SO WHAT? COME HERE.
I'M QUICK, I'M QUICK.
350
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:35,403
THEY WON'T SEE US.
351
00:13:35,395 --> 00:13:39,355
OOOH! I CAN SEE YOU!
I CAN SEE YOU!
352
00:13:39,359 --> 00:13:42,109
SHE'S SO CUTE.
GET OUTTA HERE.
353
00:13:42,112 --> 00:13:44,152
SEE, MICHAEL, I TOLD YOU.
354
00:13:44,154 --> 00:13:46,214
WE DON'T HAVE THE TIME
FOR A SECOND HONEYMOON.
355
00:13:46,206 --> 00:13:48,406
JAY, WE'RE GONNA HAVE
A SECOND HONEYMOON, OKAY?
356
00:13:48,408 --> 00:13:49,578
YEAH, YEAH.
357
00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,249
HEY,
WHERE AM I GONNA SLEEP?
358
00:13:51,251 --> 00:13:52,711
OH, I DIDN'T TELL YOU.
359
00:13:52,712 --> 00:13:54,332
WE GOT YOU THE TIKI-TIKI,
360
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,724
LOMA-LOMA,
LINDA-LEEMA-LIMA SUITE.
361
00:13:56,716 --> 00:13:58,336
REALLY?
WHAT'S THAT?
362
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,338
THAT'S HAWAIIAN
FOR "PULL-OUT COUCH."
363
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:01,960
HERE...
364
00:14:01,962 --> 00:14:03,722
WHY DON'T YOU EAT
SOME OF THESE?
365
00:14:03,723 --> 00:14:06,933
OH, BOY.
A MACADAMIA NUT CLUSTER.
366
00:14:06,927 --> 00:14:08,227
YEAH, THERE'S GOT TO BE
SOMETHING IN THERE
367
00:14:08,228 --> 00:14:09,388
YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO.
368
00:14:09,389 --> 00:14:11,059
PUT THAT CANDY DOWN,
JUNIOR.
369
00:14:11,061 --> 00:14:13,521
BABY, LET HIM EAT THE CANDY.
HE'S ON VACATION.
370
00:14:13,523 --> 00:14:15,693
NO, MICHAEL.
HE'S GONNA SPOIL HIS DINNER.
371
00:14:15,685 --> 00:14:17,235
I SIGNED US UP
FOR A LUAU.
372
00:14:17,237 --> 00:14:20,027
OH, GOD,
NOT THE LUAU!
373
00:14:20,030 --> 00:14:21,940
WHAT'S A LUAU?
374
00:14:21,942 --> 00:14:23,442
IT'S AN ANCIENT TRIBAL CUSTOM,
HONEY.
375
00:14:23,443 --> 00:14:25,123
IT'S VERY SPIRITUAL.
376
00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:27,285
WHO WANTS MAI TAIS
AND PIG?!
377
00:14:27,287 --> 00:14:29,907
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
378
00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:31,450
I GUESS IT DON'T GET
NO MORE SPIRITUAL
379
00:14:31,451 --> 00:14:34,201
THAN LIQUOR AND SWINE, HUH?
HEY!
380
00:14:34,204 --> 00:14:35,594
[ DRUMMING ]
381
00:14:35,585 --> 00:14:37,045
Junior: HMM.
382
00:14:37,047 --> 00:14:38,627
MAI TAIS SURE SOUND GOOD.
383
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:40,168
YEAH, THEY SURE ARE.
384
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:42,920
UNFORTUNATELY, THEY'RE
"MY TAIS," NOT "YOUR TAIS."
385
00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:44,763
SO YOU BETTER LEAVE THEM ALONE
OR THEY'LL BE HOMICIDES.
386
00:14:44,764 --> 00:14:46,314
OH, COME ON, DAD.
387
00:14:46,306 --> 00:14:48,306
YOU WANT ME TO KICK YOU
WHERE YOU'RE CIRCUMCISED?
388
00:14:48,308 --> 00:14:50,058
YOU NEVER LET ME HAVE
ANY FUN.
389
00:14:50,060 --> 00:14:52,060
THAT'S HOW I HAVE MY FUN.
390
00:14:52,062 --> 00:14:54,062
[ DRUMMING ]
391
00:15:03,693 --> 00:15:07,623
[ CHEERING ]
392
00:15:07,617 --> 00:15:09,787
OKAY, WHO WANTS TO LEARN
AN ISLAND DANCE?
393
00:15:09,789 --> 00:15:11,119
I DO, I DO.
394
00:15:11,121 --> 00:15:12,621
I DO! I DO! I DO!
395
00:15:12,622 --> 00:15:14,492
YOU TWO, COME ON UP HERE.
396
00:15:14,494 --> 00:15:16,714
OH, MY BABIES ARE GOING UP!
397
00:15:16,706 --> 00:15:18,666
MY BABIES!
398
00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:21,088
JOIN US ON STAGE.
399
00:15:21,091 --> 00:15:23,131
[ DRUMMING ]
400
00:15:28,888 --> 00:15:30,548
ALL RIGHT!
401
00:15:30,550 --> 00:15:33,100
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?
402
00:15:33,103 --> 00:15:35,323
TO GET LITTLE MISS HULA
OFF THE STAGE.
403
00:15:35,315 --> 00:15:37,765
NO, MICHAEL, LEAVE HER ALONE.
SHE LOOKS CUTE UP THERE.
404
00:15:37,767 --> 00:15:40,317
THAT'S THE PROBLEM, YOU SEE?
CLAIRE PUTS ON A GRASS SKIRT,
405
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:42,230
AND THESE GUYS
WANT TO MOW THE LAWN.
406
00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:43,322
MICHAEL! MICHAEL!
407
00:15:43,323 --> 00:15:45,783
ALL RIGHT!
BA BA BA-DA!
408
00:15:45,775 --> 00:15:48,275
[ APPLAUSE ]
409
00:15:48,278 --> 00:15:49,988
HEY, WE'VE GOT ANOTHER
VOLUNTEER.
410
00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:51,280
A NICE HAND
FOR THIS GENTLEMAN.
411
00:15:51,281 --> 00:15:52,451
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
412
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,242
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
413
00:15:54,244 --> 00:15:57,294
LOOK, I DON'T HULA.
I DON'T HULA, OKAY?
414
00:15:57,287 --> 00:16:00,747
I DO DO THE ROBOT, THOUGH.
I GOT THE ROBOT GOING, MAN.
415
00:16:00,750 --> 00:16:03,460
I CALL THIS THE FRANKENSTEIN.
416
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,593
THIS IS THE FRANKENSTEIN.
417
00:16:05,585 --> 00:16:06,965
MOONWALKING.
418
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,086
WATCH THIS.
AROUND THE WORLD.
419
00:16:09,089 --> 00:16:10,219
WHOO!
420
00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:13,470
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
421
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,983
WHOO! BABY!
422
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,645
STUCK IN A BOX.
STUCK IN A BOX.
423
00:16:17,647 --> 00:16:20,307
SHAKE IT, BABY!
SHAKE IT, BABY!
424
00:16:20,310 --> 00:16:21,980
WAIT!
425
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,981
WAIT! WAIT!
GOT TO GET OUT THE BOX.
426
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,824
[ LAUGHTER ]
427
00:16:26,816 --> 00:16:29,606
HOW ABOUT A NICE HAND FOR THIS
GENTLEMAN AND HIS FAMILY HERE?
428
00:16:29,609 --> 00:16:32,869
LET'S MAKE WAY FOR
A SAMOAN FIRE-KNIFE DANCE.
429
00:16:32,872 --> 00:16:35,252
[ DRUMMING ]
430
00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:49,007
OH, I'M SORRY.
THAT'S OKAY.
431
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,468
MY NAME IS -- WILL YOU BE MY
BOYFRIEND? -- LEILANI.
432
00:16:51,471 --> 00:16:55,011
OH, THAT'S A VERY -- YOU WANT
MY BODY -- EXOTIC NAME.
433
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,444
OH, WHY, THANK YOU.
434
00:16:56,436 --> 00:16:58,806
ASK ME FOR A DATE.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
435
00:16:58,808 --> 00:17:01,138
OH, WELL, ACTUALLY, I'M NAMED
AFTER MY FATHER --
436
00:17:01,141 --> 00:17:03,351
DENZEL WASHINGTON --
BUT THEY CALL ME JUNIOR.
437
00:17:03,353 --> 00:17:05,453
WOW -- DO I LOOK STUPID?
THAT'S INTERESTING.
438
00:17:05,445 --> 00:17:06,985
SO, UH,
HAS ANYONE EVER TOLD YOU
439
00:17:06,986 --> 00:17:08,606
YOU LOOK LIKE
DENZEL WASHINGTON?
440
00:17:08,608 --> 00:17:10,738
HE'S MY FATHER --
I'VE GOT PROTECTION --
441
00:17:10,740 --> 00:17:12,360
BUT I DON'T WANT ANYONE
TO KNOW.
442
00:17:12,362 --> 00:17:15,292
WOW, THAT'S -- SO DO I --
VERY INTERESTING.
443
00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:16,535
WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO OUT --
444
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:17,576
PLEASE DON'T NOTICE
MY BIG HEAD --
445
00:17:17,577 --> 00:17:18,707
ON A DATE WITH ME?
446
00:17:18,708 --> 00:17:20,158
I WOULD LOVE TO --
447
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,000
WOW, THAT'S A BIG HEAD --
GO OUT WITH YOU.
448
00:17:23,623 --> 00:17:25,003
♪ YOU AND I ♪
449
00:17:25,004 --> 00:17:26,634
♪ IN A LITTLE HULA HEAVEN ♪
450
00:17:26,626 --> 00:17:29,796
♪ BY A SILVERY SEA ♪
451
00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:31,589
HEY, CLAIRE,
CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR?
452
00:17:31,591 --> 00:17:33,051
I WANT YOU TO WATCH
YOUR SISTER
453
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,722
WHILE I GO GET SOME DRINKS
FROM THE MAI TAI BAR
454
00:17:34,724 --> 00:17:37,064
FOR ME AND YOUR MOTHER.
455
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,556
OOH, OOH, OOH.
HEY, WHERE'S YOUR MOTHER?
456
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,099
I DON'T KNOW.
457
00:17:41,101 --> 00:17:42,391
IT LOOKED LIKE SHE WAS HEADED
TO THE BATHROOM.
458
00:17:42,392 --> 00:17:46,152
UM...AM I A KANE...
459
00:17:46,146 --> 00:17:49,736
OR A WAHINE?
460
00:17:49,739 --> 00:17:54,279
EENY, MEENY, MINY, MOE,
I REALLY, REALLY GOTTA GO.
461
00:17:54,284 --> 00:17:56,164
MY MOTHER SAID
462
00:17:56,156 --> 00:18:01,906
YOU...ARE...IT.
463
00:18:03,623 --> 00:18:04,793
OHH!
464
00:18:04,794 --> 00:18:06,714
ARE YOU OKAY?
NO, I AM --
465
00:18:06,706 --> 00:18:08,126
HOLY MACKEREL!
466
00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:09,758
[ GIGGLES ]
467
00:18:09,759 --> 00:18:11,799
YOU ARE SO STRONG.
468
00:18:11,801 --> 00:18:14,051
I HAVE TO BE.
I'M A CHEST AND ABS MODEL.
469
00:18:14,053 --> 00:18:15,433
CHEST, YOU ARE.
470
00:18:15,425 --> 00:18:18,305
WELL, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
BEAUTIFUL,
471
00:18:18,308 --> 00:18:20,138
MY SCHEDULE'S VERY TIGHT.
472
00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:22,810
IT CERTAINLY IS.
473
00:18:22,812 --> 00:18:26,442
[ CHUCKLING ]
474
00:18:29,819 --> 00:18:31,489
HEY, CAN I GET
TWO MAI TAIS, PLEASE?
475
00:18:31,491 --> 00:18:34,361
WELL, IF IT ISN'T
SWOLLEN KNUCKLES...
476
00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:38,124
YOU HAD SOME, UH, PRETTY GOOD,
UH, MOVES UP THERE.
477
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,497
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES YOU GOT
TO MOVE IT AROUND
478
00:18:39,499 --> 00:18:40,739
A LITTLE BIT, YOU KNOW?
479
00:18:40,740 --> 00:18:42,790
ISN'T THIS PLACE
SO ROMANTIC?
480
00:18:42,792 --> 00:18:45,752
YEAH, I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
IF YOU GO FOR MOONLIGHT
481
00:18:45,745 --> 00:18:49,505
AND YOU KNOW, JUST NICE
ATMOSPHERE AND EVERYTHING.
482
00:18:51,961 --> 00:18:53,301
YEAH.
483
00:18:53,303 --> 00:18:54,713
OOPS.
484
00:18:54,714 --> 00:18:56,104
[ LAUGHTER ]
485
00:18:56,095 --> 00:18:57,755
WELL, HEY, UM,
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
486
00:18:57,757 --> 00:18:59,717
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
487
00:18:59,719 --> 00:19:01,139
ALOHA.
YEAH, MAHALO.
488
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,850
BACK AT YA.
489
00:19:06,686 --> 00:19:08,686
[ SIGHS ]
AHH.
490
00:19:11,861 --> 00:19:13,401
SO, EVERYTHING GOOD
WITH YOU?
491
00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:15,543
GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.
NO, EVERYTHING'S GOOD.
492
00:19:15,535 --> 00:19:16,655
EVERYTHING GOOD WITH YOU?
493
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:17,696
OH, FINE. FINE.
494
00:19:17,697 --> 00:19:19,237
GOOD, GOOD.
495
00:19:19,239 --> 00:19:22,539
I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
496
00:19:22,542 --> 00:19:23,952
OOH!
497
00:19:23,953 --> 00:19:25,793
SO WHAT DO YOU GUYS
WANT TO DO TOMORROW?
498
00:19:25,785 --> 00:19:27,415
YOU SEE WHAT ME
AND YOUR MOTHER WERE DOING?
499
00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:28,457
WE WANT TO DO
A LOT MORE OF THAT,
500
00:19:28,458 --> 00:19:29,878
EXCEPT WITHOUT
YOU KIDS AROUND.
501
00:19:29,879 --> 00:19:31,629
NO, NO, BABY.
WE HAVE A WHOLE ITINERARY
502
00:19:31,631 --> 00:19:32,751
PLANNED FOR TOMORROW.
503
00:19:32,752 --> 00:19:34,382
YOU MEAN "ITINERARY"
504
00:19:34,384 --> 00:19:36,854
LIKE IN "A LOT OF STUFF
I DON'T WANT TO DO" TO DO?
505
00:19:36,846 --> 00:19:40,926
NO, MICHAEL, I PLANNED
ACTIVITIES FOR THE WHOLE WEEK.
506
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:42,760
JAY,
THIS IS JUST LIKE JAMAICA.
507
00:19:42,762 --> 00:19:45,102
YOU HAD ME RIDING DOWN A HILL
ON A BICYCLE
508
00:19:45,104 --> 00:19:46,654
AT 2:00
IN THE MORNING.
509
00:19:46,646 --> 00:19:48,516
YOU HAD TO BRING UP JAMAICA,
DIDN'T YOU?
510
00:19:48,518 --> 00:19:50,808
THAT'S BECAUSE
YOU'RE "JAMAKIN'" ME CRAZY
511
00:19:50,810 --> 00:19:52,480
WITH THESE ITINERARIES.
512
00:19:52,482 --> 00:19:53,482
I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT STUFF.
513
00:19:53,483 --> 00:19:54,573
I WANT TO SLEEP LATE.
514
00:19:54,574 --> 00:19:55,874
SO THAT'S IT?
515
00:19:55,865 --> 00:19:57,815
THAT'S OUR VACATION --
YOU SLEEPING?
516
00:19:57,817 --> 00:19:58,817
YEAH.
517
00:19:58,818 --> 00:20:00,318
MICHAEL...
MM-HMM.
518
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,870
THE TOUR BUS LEAVES
AT 6:30 A.M.
519
00:20:02,872 --> 00:20:04,322
I HOPE YOU'RE GONNA BE
IN IT.
520
00:20:04,324 --> 00:20:07,214
JAY, I WILL BE IN BED
AT 6:30 A.M.
521
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,376
I HOPE YOU'RE IN THAT.
522
00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:20,138
NEXT "MY WIFE AND KIDS"...
523
00:20:22,101 --> 00:20:23,641
MICHAEL!
524
00:20:23,643 --> 00:20:27,313
MICHAEL!! WILL YOU BE A HUSBAND
AND HELP ME OUT HERE?!
525
00:20:34,694 --> 00:20:36,624
JAY!
WHAT?!
526
00:20:36,616 --> 00:20:38,816
OH, MICHAEL!
527
00:20:38,818 --> 00:20:39,618
I WANT YOU TO PUT ON
SOME CLOTHES ON YOUR BEHIND.
528
00:20:39,619 --> 00:20:41,489
THIS IS THE ONLY
BATHING SUIT I HAVE.
529
00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:43,201
THEN GO TO THE HOTEL GIFT SHOP
530
00:20:43,202 --> 00:20:44,912
AND BUY A ONE-PIECE BATHING
SUIT.
531
00:20:44,914 --> 00:20:46,834
AND BY THAT I MEAN I DON'T
WANT ONE PIECE OF YOU
532
00:20:46,826 --> 00:20:47,826
HANGING OUT OF IT.
533
00:20:47,827 --> 00:20:49,207
OKAY, GIVE ME SOME MONEY.
534
00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:50,248
NO. JUST SIGN IT
TO THE ROOM.
535
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,419
I LIKE THESE.
536
00:20:51,421 --> 00:20:52,421
CAN I PUT THESE
ON THE ROOM?
537
00:20:52,422 --> 00:20:53,582
VERY GOOD.
538
00:20:53,583 --> 00:20:54,583
OH, AND I NEED
ALOE CONDITIONER.
539
00:20:54,584 --> 00:20:55,884
GOT IT.
540
00:20:55,875 --> 00:20:57,425
ON YOUR ROOM?
LET'S DO THAT.
541
00:20:57,427 --> 00:20:59,047
I MET A GIRL
AT THE LUAU LAST NIGHT.
542
00:20:59,048 --> 00:21:00,338
GOOD FOR YOU.
543
00:21:00,340 --> 00:21:01,340
I HOPE YOU'RE
A GENTLEMAN TO HER.
544
00:21:01,341 --> 00:21:02,341
OH, I WILL BE.
545
00:21:02,342 --> 00:21:03,382
I PLAN TO SAY "THANK YOU"
546
00:21:03,383 --> 00:21:04,763
AS SOON AS WE'RE FINISHED.
35488
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof