Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:02:03,075 --> 00:02:08,053
'New from Wraith Babes, the hottest
girls in nasty situations.'
2
00:03:44,008 --> 00:03:46,284
'Let's play Botherguts!'
3
00:04:16,850 --> 00:04:18,419
'Come on!
4
00:04:18,544 --> 00:04:21,428
'Three, two, one!
5
00:04:21,745 --> 00:04:25,929
'Go!
6
00:04:28,410 --> 00:04:30,042
'Chuck her a bun!
7
00:04:34,290 --> 00:04:37,649
'Not hungry?! That's a first?!
8
00:04:38,822 --> 00:04:40,128
'Come on!
9
00:04:47,084 --> 00:04:48,389
'That'd hurt!
10
00:04:50,410 --> 00:04:54,409
Brilliant!
11
00:05:06,432 --> 00:05:08,487
Fucking brilliant, that!
12
00:05:43,650 --> 00:05:46,289
That one does that sometimes.
Hang on.
13
00:05:47,462 --> 00:05:50,289
There's a little knob
in here somewhere.
14
00:05:52,564 --> 00:05:54,678
Almost the only real thing in there,
15
00:05:54,694 --> 00:05:56,949
and even that's grown
in a Petri dish.
16
00:05:58,165 --> 00:05:59,471
Thank you.
17
00:06:43,690 --> 00:06:45,807
'Licking my pussy.'
18
00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:49,050
For Christ's sake!
19
00:06:49,814 --> 00:06:52,849
Way to mood-kill, blubbernaut!
Cheers for the reflection!
20
00:06:52,850 --> 00:06:55,666
One minute I'm in slitsville,
the next there's a haunted pig
21
00:06:55,679 --> 00:06:59,119
gawping at me. They may as well
have cut to a war crime!
22
00:07:00,573 --> 00:07:01,882
Oi!
23
00:07:06,146 --> 00:07:07,449
You missed a bit.
24
00:07:10,010 --> 00:07:11,319
Pie ape!
25
00:07:15,050 --> 00:07:16,360
You see that?
26
00:07:16,690 --> 00:07:18,233
Fucking pie ape!
27
00:07:27,034 --> 00:07:29,849
He'll be in lemon
and all before long!
28
00:07:56,930 --> 00:07:58,329
'Selma Telse.'
29
00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:02,007
'Howie Mandelbrot.'
30
00:08:10,041 --> 00:08:14,505
'Each headlines their own content on
one of your eight daylight streams.
31
00:08:14,930 --> 00:08:18,403
'But they started here, like you.
32
00:08:19,130 --> 00:08:21,971
'Putting their back into giving
back for a brighter now.
33
00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:28,323
'Each paying their dues like you,
hoping to become a hot shot.'
34
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:38,858
'That wasn't good...
35
00:08:40,849 --> 00:08:44,704
'..that was beyond incredible!'
36
00:08:49,068 --> 00:08:52,725
'You decide the victors,
you control their fates,
37
00:08:53,024 --> 00:08:56,207
'you make the call on Hot Shots.
38
00:09:13,243 --> 00:09:18,602
'New from Wraith Babes, the hottest
girls in the nastiest situations.
39
00:09:18,620 --> 00:09:21,049
'So let's view it.'
40
00:09:21,050 --> 00:09:23,689
'Resume viewing. Resume viewing.
41
00:09:23,690 --> 00:09:25,929
'Resume viewing.
42
00:09:30,490 --> 00:09:32,489
'Resume viewing. Resume viewing.
43
00:09:32,490 --> 00:09:34,729
'Resume viewing.'
44
00:09:39,530 --> 00:09:41,997
'You are going to see it all.'
45
00:09:42,417 --> 00:09:45,302
'Exclusively on Wraith Babes XL.
46
00:09:48,290 --> 00:09:51,525
'Hey, what else were you planning
to do with that hand?'
47
00:09:51,650 --> 00:09:53,089
'You lick my pussy, baby.
48
00:09:53,090 --> 00:09:54,849
'I turn you on!
49
00:09:59,810 --> 00:10:01,289
'Hi, I'm Roxy, hello.
50
00:10:01,290 --> 00:10:02,773
'Hi, I'm Evie.'
51
00:11:23,210 --> 00:11:24,849
Didn't let him sign in.
52
00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:27,138
Told him to report to 22 down.
53
00:11:27,613 --> 00:11:28,956
Told ya!
54
00:11:29,621 --> 00:11:32,133
He's gone lemon, the lazy fuck!
55
00:12:10,131 --> 00:12:11,450
What do you think?
56
00:12:15,050 --> 00:12:16,487
It's a bit much.
57
00:12:18,210 --> 00:12:19,519
Yeah.
58
00:12:27,868 --> 00:12:30,939
'Best thing about my new lifestyle?
Where do I start?
59
00:12:31,631 --> 00:12:35,138
'I love choosing my own clothes
and I love gold.
60
00:12:35,772 --> 00:12:38,483
'I feel like it really
expresses who I really am
61
00:12:39,054 --> 00:12:41,369
'and I love looking over outside.
62
00:12:41,608 --> 00:12:44,809
'It's so beautiful sometimes, I just
wish that everyone could see it.'
63
00:12:44,934 --> 00:12:46,644
Nice outfit
64
00:12:47,050 --> 00:12:49,929
Suits you.
65
00:12:51,736 --> 00:12:55,479
'Well, honesty is ruthless
so I suppose it's just honesty...
66
00:12:56,293 --> 00:12:57,611
'ruthless honesty.'
67
00:14:14,631 --> 00:14:16,161
Drying my hands.
68
00:14:17,828 --> 00:14:19,134
Impressive.
69
00:14:26,810 --> 00:14:28,089
Have fun...
70
00:14:28,090 --> 00:14:29,697
I mean, on the...
71
00:14:33,672 --> 00:14:35,289
'Hey, regular user!
72
00:14:35,414 --> 00:14:40,457
'New from Wraith Babes, the hottest
girls in the nastiest situation.
73
00:14:40,582 --> 00:14:41,905
'Select view... '
74
00:14:58,570 --> 00:14:59,898
Dick.
75
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,867
Detritus. Sorry.
76
00:17:37,024 --> 00:17:38,205
Come on!
77
00:17:38,206 --> 00:17:39,849
Wait. There's a knack to it.
78
00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:42,267
- You'll take your fingers off.
- Trust me.
79
00:17:46,010 --> 00:17:47,319
Smart.
80
00:17:51,330 --> 00:17:52,633
Bing Manson.
81
00:17:53,130 --> 00:17:54,529
Short for Bingham.
82
00:17:55,260 --> 00:17:56,578
Abi Carner.
83
00:17:57,770 --> 00:17:59,209
Short for Abi Carner.
84
00:18:00,068 --> 00:18:02,381
You're a new person.
I've not seen you.
85
00:18:02,930 --> 00:18:04,533
I just went 21 last week.
86
00:18:05,130 --> 00:18:07,950
I wanted to go to Airdale
My sister's there, but...
87
00:18:08,570 --> 00:18:10,451
It's full, apparently.
88
00:18:14,210 --> 00:18:16,364
Proper fruit.
It was worth the risk.
89
00:18:17,090 --> 00:18:20,500
The most natural thing in there's
probably grown in a Petri dish.
90
00:18:22,090 --> 00:18:23,396
Yeah.
91
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:25,325
Quite good, though.
92
00:18:25,450 --> 00:18:27,089
Yeah. That's the right way round.
93
00:18:27,090 --> 00:18:29,969
When you get the cheap one,
you end up having to pedal it off.
94
00:18:29,970 --> 00:18:33,249
Then you want more sugar. Then
you're playing catch-up and I've...
95
00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:36,138
I've been there.
It's a vicious circle.
96
00:18:38,597 --> 00:18:40,525
Can't you just use that CPT app?
97
00:18:40,535 --> 00:18:41,853
What's that?
98
00:18:42,214 --> 00:18:44,449
This cognitive behavioural thing.
99
00:18:44,450 --> 00:18:47,140
It realigns your thinking
to pick healthy food.
100
00:18:47,820 --> 00:18:49,984
Whispers you into it
while you sleep.
101
00:18:52,129 --> 00:18:54,181
Yeah, I should try that, yeah.
102
00:19:00,979 --> 00:19:02,869
I liked your singing the other day.
103
00:19:06,570 --> 00:19:09,156
I was trying to sing
so no-one could hear me pee.
104
00:19:09,486 --> 00:19:11,009
I'm not Selma or anything.
105
00:19:11,010 --> 00:19:15,009
You've got a phenomenal voice.
It was the most beautiful song...
106
00:19:17,530 --> 00:19:20,082
Y... You think I'm being cheesy?
107
00:19:22,810 --> 00:19:25,227
All right, I am being cheesy.
108
00:19:25,252 --> 00:19:27,527
But it was beautiful, so, you know...
109
00:19:28,930 --> 00:19:32,651
Reality's cheesy sometimes.
Not often, admittedly, but...
110
00:19:33,570 --> 00:19:34,880
Now.
111
00:19:36,130 --> 00:19:37,464
Yeah...
112
00:19:44,490 --> 00:19:45,799
Well, thank you.
113
00:19:50,084 --> 00:19:51,713
It's just noises, though.
114
00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:54,001
Noises in the right order.
115
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,449
Don't downplay... you're good.
116
00:19:55,450 --> 00:19:57,903
The song's good. It's old.
117
00:20:00,296 --> 00:20:03,878
My mum used to sing it
and she learnt it from her mum.
118
00:20:04,769 --> 00:20:06,074
A hand-me-down.
119
00:20:09,090 --> 00:20:11,313
You thought of trying out
for Hot Shot?
120
00:20:11,561 --> 00:20:14,310
Me?
121
00:20:14,776 --> 00:20:16,089
Why not?
122
00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:17,788
Singing in front of Judge Hope?
123
00:20:17,810 --> 00:20:21,409
I'd die! Seriously, I'd be halfway
to the afterlife come the chorus.
124
00:20:21,410 --> 00:20:22,604
No, you'd walk it.
125
00:20:22,616 --> 00:20:23,833
A) I wouldn't.
126
00:20:24,370 --> 00:20:28,036
And B)... I don't have
that clockage.
127
00:20:28,758 --> 00:20:31,289
It's, what, 12 mil just to enter?
128
00:20:31,333 --> 00:20:33,569
What kind of bike time is that?
Six months?
129
00:20:33,570 --> 00:20:35,889
- Yeah, but...
- I'm hand to mouth.
130
00:20:35,890 --> 00:20:39,909
I know people save and stuff
to get onto that stage
131
00:20:39,923 --> 00:20:42,527
and then there's what Selma did.
But, you know what?
132
00:20:42,530 --> 00:20:45,916
- I'd rather not give myself...
- Yeah, but I'll gift it to you.
133
00:20:48,553 --> 00:20:50,231
The full 12, I'll gift it.
134
00:20:56,578 --> 00:20:57,969
Don't be ridiculous!
135
00:20:58,485 --> 00:21:00,313
Seriously, I've got it spare.
136
00:21:00,730 --> 00:21:02,789
You've got 12 mil spare?
137
00:21:03,456 --> 00:21:04,936
My brother left it me.
138
00:21:05,570 --> 00:21:07,485
Own a channel, does he?
139
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,073
No, he...
140
00:21:09,530 --> 00:21:10,839
He died.
141
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:16,078
He... He died last year,
142
00:21:16,574 --> 00:21:18,154
so it got transferred to me.
143
00:21:18,650 --> 00:21:21,302
Just over six months' worth,
but I've kept it.
144
00:21:23,847 --> 00:21:25,699
Why don't you spend it on you, then?
145
00:21:25,711 --> 00:21:28,522
And buy what? Some new shoes
for my doppel to wear?
146
00:21:29,834 --> 00:21:32,489
I don't know, upgrade your MOS...
147
00:21:32,490 --> 00:21:34,483
Or get a Fat Attack season pass?
148
00:21:35,543 --> 00:21:37,369
Buy one of those wall buddies.
149
00:21:37,379 --> 00:21:40,787
The new ones that talk to you after
shutting and solve your problems.
150
00:21:40,810 --> 00:21:44,794
They guide your dreams, like gurus.
It's amazing, really, what they can do.
151
00:21:44,819 --> 00:21:48,369
A mirror plug-in? That shows me how I
look as a werewolf? What's the point?
152
00:21:48,370 --> 00:21:51,613
- I know it can be quite funny.
- It's all just stuff. It's...
153
00:21:53,054 --> 00:21:55,718
It's stuff, it's confetti, it's...
154
00:21:58,610 --> 00:22:00,276
You've got something real.
155
00:22:02,210 --> 00:22:04,013
What better to spend it on?
156
00:22:04,138 --> 00:22:06,202
You heard me singing in a toilet.
157
00:22:07,583 --> 00:22:08,889
Is that real?
158
00:22:08,890 --> 00:22:11,368
More than anything that's
happened all year.
159
00:22:15,467 --> 00:22:18,079
I can't take that kind of clockage
off someone.
160
00:22:19,285 --> 00:22:21,038
It's 12 mils, no way.
161
00:22:21,650 --> 00:22:23,021
Let me do this.
162
00:22:26,387 --> 00:22:28,974
I... I look around here, I just...
163
00:22:30,554 --> 00:22:32,742
I just want something real to happen.
164
00:22:35,394 --> 00:22:36,699
Just once.
165
00:22:39,746 --> 00:22:41,049
I'd mess up.
166
00:22:41,050 --> 00:22:42,894
You wouldn't. I don't care anyway.
167
00:22:43,690 --> 00:22:46,729
I'll go with you.
I'll be able to force you.
168
00:22:46,996 --> 00:22:48,625
I'll force you to go.
169
00:22:50,610 --> 00:22:51,993
It's tomorrow.
170
00:22:53,841 --> 00:22:55,321
Come on!
171
00:23:01,962 --> 00:23:03,268
Say yes.
172
00:23:06,933 --> 00:23:09,207
I'll go as far as to say, "OK."
173
00:23:11,290 --> 00:23:13,221
Which proves acceptable.
174
00:23:15,810 --> 00:23:17,206
Thank God for that.
175
00:23:21,290 --> 00:23:22,600
Walking away now.
176
00:23:23,956 --> 00:23:25,261
You loon!
177
00:23:26,370 --> 00:23:27,741
I can live with it!
178
00:23:59,019 --> 00:24:01,195
I'd love to fucking ruin that
and all.
179
00:24:29,370 --> 00:24:30,676
What?
180
00:24:31,180 --> 00:24:32,485
15?
181
00:24:36,056 --> 00:24:37,367
A flippin' joke...
182
00:25:28,330 --> 00:25:30,431
'New from Wraith Babes.
183
00:25:30,444 --> 00:25:33,702
'The hottest girls
in the nastiest situations.'
184
00:25:34,803 --> 00:25:36,321
Yeah!
185
00:25:55,090 --> 00:25:56,921
Can't believe I'm doing this.
186
00:26:00,137 --> 00:26:01,445
I am doing this.
187
00:26:05,023 --> 00:26:06,354
I can't be doing this.
188
00:26:06,379 --> 00:26:07,896
Can you trade it back?
189
00:26:08,330 --> 00:26:09,645
The ticket?
190
00:26:09,938 --> 00:26:11,020
Don't be mad.
191
00:26:11,796 --> 00:26:14,395
It's a lot of pressure
to put someone under, you know.
192
00:26:14,419 --> 00:26:17,514
Don't think I'm not grateful.
But it's, it's just...
193
00:26:17,539 --> 00:26:18,845
You're babbling.
194
00:26:18,970 --> 00:26:20,440
I'm babbling.
195
00:26:28,788 --> 00:26:30,280
I made you this.
196
00:26:33,837 --> 00:26:37,381
You never get to keep them more
than a day, but there it is, anyway.
197
00:26:42,113 --> 00:26:43,344
It folds flat.
198
00:26:43,762 --> 00:26:46,436
So you can keep them
in your waistband.
199
00:26:50,690 --> 00:26:51,999
Thank you.
200
00:26:57,250 --> 00:26:58,849
It's, you know...
201
00:26:59,152 --> 00:27:00,457
something.
202
00:27:30,806 --> 00:27:32,247
Face the screen, please.
203
00:27:36,290 --> 00:27:38,649
Is he your Friends And Family
allocation?
204
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:42,520
Hand, please.
205
00:27:45,186 --> 00:27:46,777
That's not permanent, is it?
206
00:27:46,902 --> 00:27:48,289
No. Two months max.
207
00:27:48,380 --> 00:27:50,548
Round to the right,
and through the scanner.
208
00:28:15,026 --> 00:28:16,334
Where do we go now?
209
00:28:16,966 --> 00:28:18,278
You wait here.
210
00:28:19,330 --> 00:28:20,631
How long?
211
00:28:25,292 --> 00:28:26,594
So, what do we do?
212
00:28:26,606 --> 00:28:27,889
I don't know.
213
00:28:29,050 --> 00:28:30,825
Hey, hey, hey.
Fuck off.
214
00:28:35,693 --> 00:28:37,325
Her with the dark hair?
215
00:28:37,450 --> 00:28:39,200
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The pretty one.
216
00:28:40,070 --> 00:28:42,129
Yup. OK. Move.
217
00:28:43,493 --> 00:28:45,138
They want to preview you.
218
00:28:45,835 --> 00:28:47,569
- What?
- Preview. Come on.
219
00:28:48,018 --> 00:28:49,573
- He's with me.
- Hand?
220
00:28:51,495 --> 00:28:52,818
Show me your hand.
221
00:28:53,347 --> 00:28:54,649
OK. You, too.
222
00:28:54,774 --> 00:28:57,075
That's not fair.
She's new. That's not fair.
223
00:28:57,079 --> 00:28:58,589
I don't pick the order.
224
00:28:58,780 --> 00:29:01,318
I've waited here all week,
and she's just walked in.
225
00:29:01,397 --> 00:29:05,212
Everyone will get seen eventually.
I don't pick the order.
226
00:29:05,220 --> 00:29:06,696
But I'm a good singer.
227
00:29:06,704 --> 00:29:09,320
I can sing. I'm a good singer, I am.
228
00:29:09,321 --> 00:29:11,670
- Stand aside.
- It's not fair!
229
00:29:12,740 --> 00:29:14,045
It's not fair!
230
00:29:19,858 --> 00:29:22,134
- Next lot.
- Stand there.
231
00:29:26,756 --> 00:29:29,274
Would you like to be as big as Salma
one day?
232
00:29:29,639 --> 00:29:32,503
Yeah, I mean...
233
00:29:32,528 --> 00:29:33,769
Could you say that
234
00:29:33,770 --> 00:29:36,367
as a self-contained sentence
into that screen?
235
00:29:38,890 --> 00:29:41,409
I guess I'd like to be
as big as Salma one day.
236
00:29:41,410 --> 00:29:43,369
OK. Proceed to stage area.
237
00:29:44,194 --> 00:29:45,500
Are we done?
238
00:29:48,536 --> 00:29:50,575
- Both performing?
- Just her.
239
00:29:50,588 --> 00:29:53,209
- Okay... and what are you?
- Singer.
240
00:29:53,543 --> 00:29:55,361
- Cuppliance?
- No, thanks.
241
00:29:55,486 --> 00:29:58,586
A-ha. Yes, thanks!
It's compulsory for all contestants.
242
00:29:58,599 --> 00:30:01,128
More to the point,
it'll stop you puking with nerves.
243
00:30:01,182 --> 00:30:03,378
- She's got to perform.
- Well...
244
00:30:03,801 --> 00:30:05,799
Look, just sip it, you'll be fine.
245
00:30:10,413 --> 00:30:12,407
Just a touch of light foam.
It'll pass.
246
00:30:12,532 --> 00:30:13,956
Make the most of it.
247
00:30:14,081 --> 00:30:15,927
You can't get this stuff
anywhere else.
248
00:30:16,374 --> 00:30:17,929
You OK?
Yeah.
249
00:30:17,930 --> 00:30:19,239
You OK?
250
00:30:22,012 --> 00:30:23,327
Yeah. Just...
251
00:30:24,442 --> 00:30:28,449
I don't know. Things are just
wider apart. I'm fine.
252
00:30:29,254 --> 00:30:31,815
- Really?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
253
00:30:32,730 --> 00:30:34,136
Right. You're on.
254
00:30:51,896 --> 00:30:53,463
A little closer, please.
255
00:30:58,196 --> 00:30:59,527
Little closer.
256
00:31:02,738 --> 00:31:04,330
Into the light, love.
257
00:31:12,694 --> 00:31:15,902
- And who're we looking at here?
- Abi Khan.
258
00:31:16,536 --> 00:31:18,911
What are you going
to do for us today, Abi?
259
00:31:19,496 --> 00:31:20,889
I'm going to sing.
260
00:31:20,890 --> 00:31:22,349
You speak up, love.
261
00:31:22,474 --> 00:31:23,820
We don't bite.
262
00:31:25,436 --> 00:31:26,742
I'm going to sing.
263
00:31:27,130 --> 00:31:30,769
Hey, would you mind
lifting up your top for me?
264
00:31:32,322 --> 00:31:34,026
Can you take off your top?
265
00:31:34,041 --> 00:31:36,031
I want to check out those titties.
266
00:31:39,578 --> 00:31:41,281
Come on. Mucho feranto.
267
00:31:42,679 --> 00:31:44,308
No titties?
268
00:31:45,114 --> 00:31:47,253
She says she's here to sing.
269
00:31:47,890 --> 00:31:50,209
I got to see
those titties, though.
270
00:31:50,334 --> 00:31:51,729
Come on, girl.
271
00:31:51,730 --> 00:31:53,076
I mean, damn!
272
00:31:54,810 --> 00:31:56,129
You hot.
273
00:31:56,606 --> 00:31:59,068
Please, just sing for us.
274
00:34:22,411 --> 00:34:24,301
OK. I'm going to stop you there.
275
00:34:25,892 --> 00:34:27,108
That was...
276
00:34:28,193 --> 00:34:29,418
without a doubt...
277
00:34:32,090 --> 00:34:35,889
probably the best piece of singing
we've had this season.
278
00:34:36,116 --> 00:34:38,068
Yes! Well done!
279
00:34:43,290 --> 00:34:44,599
Fair play.
280
00:34:47,894 --> 00:34:49,449
But I have to say...
281
00:34:51,586 --> 00:34:53,439
No. No, no, no.
I have to say,
282
00:34:54,297 --> 00:34:55,605
actually,
283
00:34:55,619 --> 00:34:57,260
I'm with Rafe on this one.
284
00:34:58,827 --> 00:35:01,369
Good though your voice is...
and it is good.
285
00:35:01,881 --> 00:35:04,569
It's not the most magical sound
in the world.
286
00:35:04,570 --> 00:35:06,135
It's just... good.
287
00:35:07,386 --> 00:35:10,184
I don't think anyone's
really hearing it.
288
00:35:10,309 --> 00:35:12,808
Certainly not the guys
in the audience.
289
00:35:13,093 --> 00:35:16,289
These looks you got going on
kind of get in the way.
290
00:35:16,786 --> 00:35:19,062
Men will want you.
Women will hate you.
291
00:35:19,371 --> 00:35:21,167
All the time you're on stage.
292
00:35:22,492 --> 00:35:24,245
Couldn't help picturing you.
293
00:35:25,175 --> 00:35:26,689
In an erotic scenario.
294
00:35:28,017 --> 00:35:30,417
Getting pretty turned on,
if I'm honest.
295
00:35:34,290 --> 00:35:35,605
Right.
296
00:35:35,730 --> 00:35:37,414
You've got this pure beauty
297
00:35:38,073 --> 00:35:40,200
What seems to be
a knockout figure.
298
00:35:40,896 --> 00:35:43,849
And this sort of interesting
innocence going on.
299
00:35:43,859 --> 00:35:46,309
That's something I think
Rafe's erotica channels
300
00:35:46,318 --> 00:35:47,969
could really play with.
301
00:35:47,970 --> 00:35:50,489
Absolutely. That's what I thought
302
00:35:50,490 --> 00:35:51,889
the moment I saw you.
303
00:35:52,067 --> 00:35:53,369
The moment.
304
00:35:53,910 --> 00:35:57,249
I'd watch. I don't know a man here
who wouldn't.
305
00:35:57,250 --> 00:35:59,725
To be honest,
some of us girls might join you.
306
00:36:03,665 --> 00:36:04,996
Get off me!
307
00:36:05,121 --> 00:36:06,438
Don't! Abi!
308
00:36:07,573 --> 00:36:09,800
No! Abi! Abi!
309
00:36:09,925 --> 00:36:11,929
I don't think that's quite...
310
00:36:14,255 --> 00:36:18,807
You will never have to pedal again.
Not one minute.
311
00:36:19,781 --> 00:36:21,995
We could really work with you.
312
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:25,265
Last year we had
singers, singers, singers.
313
00:36:25,626 --> 00:36:26,828
So many singers.
314
00:36:26,853 --> 00:36:29,687
So, to be a singer you have to be
truly exceptional
315
00:36:30,173 --> 00:36:33,889
There's just no slots left
for an above average singer.
316
00:36:33,890 --> 00:36:36,609
Not for the next few years,
at least. Charity?
317
00:36:36,610 --> 00:36:39,492
No. Saturation point, singer-wise.
318
00:36:40,464 --> 00:36:42,665
Listen. We said,
right from the start.
319
00:36:42,930 --> 00:36:45,365
We'll go with something
different this season.
320
00:36:45,490 --> 00:36:47,405
That's why he's on the panel!
321
00:36:48,089 --> 00:36:51,434
She would be a star on our stream.
322
00:36:51,979 --> 00:36:53,289
A star.
323
00:36:53,941 --> 00:36:55,246
On his...
324
00:36:56,684 --> 00:36:58,329
You're furniture, at best.
325
00:36:58,330 --> 00:37:01,192
Forget about all the shame,
and all that ppht-ppht-tew.
326
00:37:01,988 --> 00:37:03,649
We medicate against that.
327
00:37:03,650 --> 00:37:05,970
You will have pleasure forever.
328
00:37:06,268 --> 00:37:08,557
Realistically, sweetheart,
it is that,
329
00:37:08,890 --> 00:37:10,196
or the bike.
330
00:37:13,646 --> 00:37:14,984
I, I don't think...
331
00:37:14,992 --> 00:37:17,012
This is starting to annoy me.
332
00:37:17,453 --> 00:37:20,561
Who do you think is powering
that spotlight?
333
00:37:26,499 --> 00:37:28,451
Millions of people. That's who.
334
00:37:28,936 --> 00:37:31,113
All of them, out there, right now.
335
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:34,293
Putting in an honest day
on the bike,
336
00:37:34,310 --> 00:37:36,780
while you stand in the light
they're generating
337
00:37:36,797 --> 00:37:37,963
and dither.
338
00:37:38,321 --> 00:37:39,626
You know what?
339
00:37:39,751 --> 00:37:43,757
They would give anything.
Do anything to be where you are now.
340
00:37:44,429 --> 00:37:45,734
Am I right?!
341
00:37:48,962 --> 00:37:52,220
You want to cock a snook at all
that, as though it's nothing.
342
00:37:54,012 --> 00:37:55,703
As though they're nothing.
343
00:37:56,690 --> 00:37:58,110
And that makes me sick.
344
00:37:59,370 --> 00:38:00,733
But, you know what?
345
00:38:02,210 --> 00:38:03,961
Maybe you do belong on the bike.
346
00:38:04,210 --> 00:38:07,157
Because you don't seem to be
very willing to step off it.
347
00:38:10,216 --> 00:38:11,285
I do want to.
348
00:38:11,297 --> 00:38:12,628
We have a decision?
349
00:38:12,753 --> 00:38:17,729
Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
350
00:38:28,810 --> 00:38:32,129
Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
351
00:38:32,130 --> 00:38:36,129
Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
352
00:38:47,490 --> 00:38:48,809
I suppose.
353
00:38:57,130 --> 00:38:59,609
Go on!
354
00:38:59,610 --> 00:39:00,915
Well done!
355
00:40:10,050 --> 00:40:12,214
Best thing about my new lifestyle...
356
00:40:13,582 --> 00:40:15,285
I get to meet lots of hot guys.
357
00:40:17,850 --> 00:40:19,626
Wraith treats me well.
358
00:40:21,418 --> 00:40:24,169
For Christ's sake!
359
00:40:24,921 --> 00:40:26,488
I pay for this!
360
00:40:26,873 --> 00:40:30,006
I... pay... for... this!
361
00:40:30,342 --> 00:40:33,836
I pump my arse off, and you...
Fuck you!
362
00:40:35,530 --> 00:40:37,689
Yeah, keep waddling, pig tits.
363
00:40:38,041 --> 00:40:40,891
Find your horizon
and fuck off over it!
364
00:40:44,353 --> 00:40:45,708
'It's a dream.
365
00:40:46,610 --> 00:40:48,060
'I get to live...
366
00:40:48,454 --> 00:40:49,757
'in a...
367
00:40:50,130 --> 00:40:51,574
'beautiful place.
368
00:40:52,417 --> 00:40:53,723
'And...
369
00:40:54,742 --> 00:40:56,061
'wear lots of...
370
00:40:57,326 --> 00:40:58,632
'beautiful things.
371
00:41:03,690 --> 00:41:04,999
'It's a dream.'
372
00:41:28,530 --> 00:41:30,369
Insufficient funds.
373
00:41:30,615 --> 00:41:32,285
'From Wraith Babes... '
374
00:41:32,306 --> 00:41:33,611
'C'mon, girl... '
375
00:41:34,308 --> 00:41:36,757
'..a Wraith Babes reality special.'
376
00:41:37,690 --> 00:41:40,100
I guess I'd like to be as big as
Thelma one day.
377
00:41:41,047 --> 00:41:44,740
'Millions watched her glide through
the Hot Shot curtain of dreams
378
00:41:44,765 --> 00:41:46,485
'to sing her heart out.'
379
00:41:50,319 --> 00:41:53,369
'What happened next
shocked them all.'
380
00:41:53,494 --> 00:41:55,169
We could really work with you.
381
00:41:55,540 --> 00:41:56,896
Do we have a decision?
382
00:41:57,455 --> 00:42:00,885
'Now, watch her
stunning erotic debut... '
383
00:42:04,850 --> 00:42:06,268
No, no, no, no, no...
384
00:42:07,313 --> 00:42:09,089
'So, who do we have here?'
385
00:42:09,907 --> 00:42:11,209
I'm Abby.
386
00:42:11,825 --> 00:42:13,329
'You were at Hot Shot.
387
00:42:14,285 --> 00:42:16,499
'You were real impressive.'
388
00:42:20,570 --> 00:42:22,289
Resume viewing!
389
00:42:22,290 --> 00:42:24,449
- No! No!
- Resume viewing!
390
00:42:24,450 --> 00:42:25,889
Resume viewing!
391
00:42:25,890 --> 00:42:27,209
Resume viewing!
Resume viewing!
392
00:42:27,210 --> 00:42:28,929
Resume viewing! Resume viewing!
Resume viewing!
393
00:42:28,930 --> 00:42:32,289
Resume viewing!
394
00:42:32,290 --> 00:42:33,587
'Look at you.
395
00:42:34,068 --> 00:42:36,007
'All clean and shiny.'
396
00:42:38,424 --> 00:42:40,716
Portal disabled
during commercial.
397
00:42:40,747 --> 00:42:42,969
'You'll see everything.
398
00:42:43,094 --> 00:42:44,951
'You'll see it all!
399
00:42:45,475 --> 00:42:47,067
'Open your mouth.
400
00:42:47,477 --> 00:42:49,653
'Open... take it in...
401
00:42:50,242 --> 00:42:53,376
'take it in... yeah...
402
00:42:55,530 --> 00:42:59,529
No! No! No! No!
403
00:45:10,242 --> 00:45:13,288
'The hottest girls... '
404
00:48:50,908 --> 00:48:53,184
Could you stand aside, please?
405
00:48:56,074 --> 00:48:59,087
Come up into the back,
in front of me, please.
406
00:48:59,212 --> 00:49:00,748
Are you messin'?
407
00:49:07,650 --> 00:49:08,979
A what-nic one?
408
00:49:09,766 --> 00:49:12,477
An eth-nic one!
409
00:49:14,010 --> 00:49:15,320
On it.
410
00:49:15,898 --> 00:49:19,293
We're going to preview, all right?
Want to follow me in the back?
411
00:49:20,130 --> 00:49:21,625
You're a prick!
412
00:49:25,610 --> 00:49:26,944
Next, lot.
413
00:49:27,947 --> 00:49:29,253
Stand there!
414
00:49:33,016 --> 00:49:34,916
So what are you, a magician?
415
00:49:35,870 --> 00:49:37,126
An entertainer.
416
00:49:37,150 --> 00:49:41,409
Could you say that down the screen
as a self-contained sentence?
417
00:49:42,650 --> 00:49:46,649
I'm an entertainer.
418
00:49:51,613 --> 00:49:54,386
Before you go on,
you need to drink a Cuppliance.
419
00:49:54,411 --> 00:49:56,734
They give me one back there.
Really? OK.
420
00:49:56,859 --> 00:49:59,769
Well, in that case,
you are good to...
421
00:50:00,905 --> 00:50:02,223
go.
422
00:50:15,744 --> 00:50:17,045
Who are you?
423
00:50:17,293 --> 00:50:18,689
Bing Madsen.
424
00:50:19,354 --> 00:50:21,182
What are you planning to do for us?
425
00:50:21,192 --> 00:50:22,494
What the fuck?!
426
00:50:22,570 --> 00:50:24,040
'A sort of performance.'
427
00:50:24,883 --> 00:50:26,369
A sort of performance?
428
00:50:26,439 --> 00:50:27,740
Yes.
429
00:50:27,865 --> 00:50:30,190
Man of mystery!
430
00:50:35,210 --> 00:50:37,062
I suppose we'd better see it.
431
00:50:37,659 --> 00:50:38,965
OK.
432
00:51:20,373 --> 00:51:21,655
Knob'ead!
433
00:51:21,930 --> 00:51:23,338
Fucking cock!
434
00:51:37,330 --> 00:51:40,877
Stop or I'll do it. This is a main
artery. Keep walking, you kill me.
435
00:51:44,749 --> 00:51:48,380
No-one stops me till I've said my piece.
Then you can do what you like.
436
00:51:48,389 --> 00:51:50,159
Man, just fucking kill yourself.
437
00:51:50,164 --> 00:51:53,849
Get heavy on me, I swear to God,
I kick your ass back to life,
438
00:51:53,850 --> 00:51:55,929
just so I could cut
your goddamn head off.
439
00:51:57,930 --> 00:51:59,239
Go on!
440
00:52:02,930 --> 00:52:04,729
I think we should let him speak.
441
00:52:06,090 --> 00:52:10,089
- Speak!
- Speak! Speak! Speak! Speak!
442
00:52:12,010 --> 00:52:13,969
Let's hear what he has to say.
443
00:52:17,918 --> 00:52:19,228
Well?
444
00:52:19,249 --> 00:52:20,607
Come on.
445
00:52:21,089 --> 00:52:23,588
Got our attention, as requested.
446
00:52:25,130 --> 00:52:26,436
What do you want to say?
447
00:52:30,530 --> 00:52:32,809
Have you prepared a speech,
is that it?
448
00:52:34,782 --> 00:52:36,088
Speak!
449
00:52:36,093 --> 00:52:39,644
I haven't got a speech. I didn't
plan words. I didn't even try to...
450
00:52:39,645 --> 00:52:43,199
I just knew I had to get here, to stand
here, and I wanted you to listen.
451
00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:46,186
To really listen, not just pull
a face like you're listening,
452
00:52:46,190 --> 00:52:47,861
like you do the rest of the time.
453
00:52:47,867 --> 00:52:50,490
A face that you're feeling
instead of processing.
454
00:52:50,615 --> 00:52:53,289
You pull a face, and poke it towards
the stage,
455
00:52:53,290 --> 00:52:57,685
and we lah-di-dah,
we sing and dance and tumble around.
456
00:52:57,694 --> 00:53:00,248
And all you see up here,
it's not people,
457
00:53:00,260 --> 00:53:02,769
you don't see people up here,
it's all fodder.
458
00:53:02,770 --> 00:53:05,234
And the faker the fodder,
the more you love it,
459
00:53:05,250 --> 00:53:07,929
because fake fodder's the only
thing that works any more.
460
00:53:07,930 --> 00:53:10,489
It's all that we can stomach.
Actually, not quite all.
461
00:53:10,490 --> 00:53:12,809
Real pain, real viciousness,
that, we can take.
462
00:53:12,810 --> 00:53:14,446
Yeah, stick a fat man up a pole.
463
00:53:14,450 --> 00:53:17,369
We laugh ourselves feral,
because we've earned the right,
464
00:53:17,370 --> 00:53:19,888
we've done cell time
and he's slacking, the scum,
465
00:53:19,894 --> 00:53:21,117
so ha-ha-ha at him!
466
00:53:21,132 --> 00:53:23,737
Because we're so out of our minds
with desperation,
467
00:53:23,738 --> 00:53:25,480
we don't know any better.
468
00:53:25,505 --> 00:53:27,969
All we know is fake fodder
and buying shit.
469
00:53:27,970 --> 00:53:29,769
That's how we speak to each other,
470
00:53:29,770 --> 00:53:32,018
how we express ourselves,
is buying shit.
471
00:53:32,042 --> 00:53:33,409
What, I have a dream?
472
00:53:33,410 --> 00:53:37,715
The peak of our dreams is a new app
for our Dopple, it doesn't exist!
473
00:53:37,739 --> 00:53:39,129
It's not even there!
474
00:53:39,130 --> 00:53:40,889
We buy shit that's not even there.
475
00:53:40,890 --> 00:53:44,089
Show us something real and free
and beautiful. You couldn't.
476
00:53:44,090 --> 00:53:45,569
Yeah? It'd break us.
477
00:53:45,570 --> 00:53:47,169
We're too numb for it.
478
00:53:47,170 --> 00:53:48,649
I might as well choke.
479
00:53:48,650 --> 00:53:50,689
It's only so much wonder
we can bear.
480
00:53:50,690 --> 00:53:54,374
When you find any wonder whatsoever,
you dole it out in meagre portions.
481
00:53:54,382 --> 00:53:56,717
Only then until it's
augmented, packaged, and
482
00:53:56,729 --> 00:53:59,245
pumped through 10,000
preassigned filters
483
00:53:59,252 --> 00:54:02,289
till it's nothing more than
a meaningless series of lights,
484
00:54:02,290 --> 00:54:05,689
while we ride day in day out,
going where?
485
00:54:06,573 --> 00:54:07,891
Powering what?
486
00:54:08,431 --> 00:54:11,676
All tiny cells and tiny screens
and bigger cells
487
00:54:11,684 --> 00:54:13,454
and bigger screens and fuck you!
488
00:54:13,657 --> 00:54:16,763
Fuck you,
that's what it boils down to.
489
00:54:17,472 --> 00:54:21,009
Fuck you for sitting there
and slowly making things worse.
490
00:54:21,134 --> 00:54:24,569
Fuck you and your spotlight
and your sanctimonious faces.
491
00:54:24,570 --> 00:54:26,849
Fuck you all for thinking
the one thing
492
00:54:26,850 --> 00:54:29,089
I came close to never meant
anything.
493
00:54:29,802 --> 00:54:34,022
For oozing around it and crushing it
into a bone, into a joke.
494
00:54:34,030 --> 00:54:37,489
One more ugly joke
in a kingdom of millions.
495
00:54:38,004 --> 00:54:39,937
Fuck you for happening.
496
00:54:41,330 --> 00:54:44,405
Fuck you for me, for us,
for everyone.
497
00:54:44,423 --> 00:54:45,729
Fuck you!
498
00:55:07,725 --> 00:55:10,274
That was, without a doubt,
499
00:55:12,107 --> 00:55:15,962
the most heartfelt thing
I've seen on this stage
500
00:55:16,495 --> 00:55:18,236
since Hotshot began!
501
00:55:23,721 --> 00:55:25,028
Brilliant!
502
00:55:25,453 --> 00:55:26,674
You...
503
00:55:27,373 --> 00:55:30,409
you're so articulating
something we all,
504
00:55:30,410 --> 00:55:33,085
and I mean everyone in this hall,
505
00:55:33,467 --> 00:55:35,529
something we all agree on.
506
00:55:36,004 --> 00:55:38,729
Even though we may not comprehend
all of it.
507
00:55:39,215 --> 00:55:42,212
I think I'm right in saying
we do feel it.
508
00:55:43,580 --> 00:55:44,885
Even me.
509
00:55:45,010 --> 00:55:47,525
I know you've got me down
as this creature.
510
00:55:48,047 --> 00:55:49,900
You know, hey...
511
00:55:51,427 --> 00:55:53,604
I get where you're coming from.
512
00:55:53,907 --> 00:55:56,158
- I like your stuff.
- It's not stuff.
513
00:55:56,183 --> 00:55:58,167
It's truth. Am I right?
514
00:56:00,229 --> 00:56:03,769
Your truth, admittedly,
but truth nonetheless.
515
00:56:04,490 --> 00:56:05,800
And you're right.
516
00:56:06,096 --> 00:56:09,627
Authenticity is in woefully
short supply.
517
00:56:11,871 --> 00:56:13,927
I'd like to hear you talk again.
518
00:56:17,330 --> 00:56:18,640
How so?
519
00:56:19,219 --> 00:56:21,706
The slot on one of my streams
520
00:56:22,688 --> 00:56:25,101
where you can talk just like that.
521
00:56:28,511 --> 00:56:31,459
I'd watch it.
It was such great passion.
522
00:56:33,909 --> 00:56:37,230
He's a'right.
You're a little hot there, bud.
523
00:56:37,991 --> 00:56:40,292
That throat cutting thing?
Neat gimmick.
524
00:56:40,690 --> 00:56:42,008
What do you say?
525
00:56:42,770 --> 00:56:44,809
30 minutes twice a week?
526
00:56:47,170 --> 00:56:51,710
- Do it, do it, do it!
- Do it, do it, do it!
527
00:56:52,618 --> 00:56:57,157
Do it, do it, do it!
Do it, do it, do it!
528
00:56:58,040 --> 00:57:02,289
Do it, do it, do it!
529
00:57:02,290 --> 00:57:03,969
Do it, do it, do it!
530
00:57:03,970 --> 00:57:05,689
Go on, you bastard.
531
00:57:05,690 --> 00:57:09,689
- Do it, do it, do it!
- Do it, do it, do it!
532
00:57:11,063 --> 00:57:12,518
Beats the bike.
533
00:57:12,970 --> 00:57:14,383
Certainly does.
534
00:57:30,450 --> 00:57:34,449
'We have with us Oliver.
Oliver ate and ate
535
00:57:34,570 --> 00:57:38,449
'till he hit 17 stone and he's here
today to try and beat us
536
00:57:38,766 --> 00:57:41,409
'on Botherguts!
537
00:57:42,657 --> 00:57:44,025
'Keep going.'
538
00:57:53,890 --> 00:57:59,205
OK, I'm going to stop you there.
That was achingly terrible.
539
00:57:59,330 --> 00:58:03,329
You have the magnetism of a towel. I
don't ever want to look at you again.
540
00:58:03,890 --> 00:58:06,929
I have to agree.
I'm so sorry, love.
541
00:58:07,194 --> 00:58:10,477
You came across as fundamentally
unlikeable
542
00:58:10,502 --> 00:58:12,969
and really quite worthless.
543
00:58:13,992 --> 00:58:17,525
You could fill that pussy with honey
and I still wouldn't fuck it.
544
00:58:17,650 --> 00:58:20,796
I'm a good singer. I can sing, yeah.
545
00:58:20,921 --> 00:58:22,689
Cos this is my destiny
546
00:58:22,917 --> 00:58:24,844
and I can sing, fu...!
547
00:58:28,170 --> 00:58:30,131
'Like that, don't you, Harry?
548
00:58:32,290 --> 00:58:33,649
'Say it.
549
00:58:34,263 --> 00:58:35,568
'Yeah.
550
00:58:37,050 --> 00:58:41,049
'15,000 new wardrobe options
551
00:58:41,136 --> 00:58:42,773
'launched last week alone.
552
00:58:43,662 --> 00:58:47,649
'It effectively translates as
15,000 new ways to kill time
553
00:58:47,774 --> 00:58:50,329
'in your cell before you explore
an afterlife
554
00:58:50,330 --> 00:58:52,074
'which doesn't exist anyway.
555
00:58:52,435 --> 00:58:55,914
'With any luck, it'll take your mind
off those saddle sores?
556
00:58:57,130 --> 00:59:01,129
'You know the only thing stopping me
from slashing myself open right now?
557
00:59:03,239 --> 00:59:05,154
'I might not die right away.
558
00:59:05,166 --> 00:59:07,344
'And before I went,
they'd find a way
559
00:59:07,352 --> 00:59:09,529
'to charge my twitching
half-dead cadaver,
560
00:59:09,530 --> 00:59:12,487
'20,000 merits for swabbing
the walls clean.'
561
00:59:12,488 --> 00:59:13,798
- Yeah.
- Anyway,
562
00:59:15,006 --> 00:59:16,448
'hang on in there
563
00:59:16,760 --> 00:59:18,061
if you must.
564
00:59:24,170 --> 00:59:26,449
'We're all in this together
they say.
565
00:59:26,450 --> 00:59:27,761
'Yeah, right.
566
00:59:30,130 --> 00:59:31,538
'Farewell for ever.
567
00:59:34,250 --> 00:59:35,956
'Till the same time next week.'
568
00:59:40,294 --> 00:59:41,603
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