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00:00:03,740 --> 00:00:05,290
Fade in.
2
00:00:05,330 --> 00:00:07,600
Exterior--
night.
3
00:00:07,610 --> 00:00:09,910
A dark, desolate prairie.
4
00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:13,990
A lone cowboy sits on a sturdy
horse, gazing up at the moon.
5
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:19,630
Suddenly, a flash of light appears in the sky,
and a burning meteor plummets to the Earth.
6
00:00:28,540 --> 00:00:31,130
Fade in.
Exterior-- night.
7
00:00:31,140 --> 00:00:34,000
New York City, Hell's Kitchen.
8
00:00:34,010 --> 00:00:37,490
A lone cop sits in a patrol
car, gazing up at the moon.
9
00:00:43,510 --> 00:00:47,890
Suddenly, a flash of light appears in the sky,
and a flaming meteor plummets to the Earth.
10
00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:53,080
All right. Now we're cooking.
11
00:00:53,090 --> 00:00:56,440
- Alan?
- Mia?
12
00:00:56,450 --> 00:00:59,700
- I thought that was you
- What a nice surprise
13
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,390
Didn't you move back to
New York with your husband?
14
00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:04,920
We did but than we split up.
Then i came back here.
15
00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:05,790
O i'm sorry to hear that.
16
00:01:05,810 --> 00:01:08,520
I mean, not that you moved back
here, but that it didn't work out.
17
00:01:09,190 --> 00:01:10,710
So how is Charlie doing?
18
00:01:10,740 --> 00:01:13,870
O he is fine
Actually he is engaged.
19
00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:16,780
- You're kidding?
- No, no. She moved in and everything.
20
00:01:16,790 --> 00:01:20,700
- Good for him. So where a you living now?
- What do you mean?
21
00:01:21,060 --> 00:01:24,620
You know. Since Charlie's
fiance moved in i assumed...
22
00:01:25,290 --> 00:01:27,620
You look great Alan.
23
00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:29,220
Thank you.
You too.
24
00:01:29,230 --> 00:01:31,380
- Please give Charlie my best.
- Will do.
25
00:01:31,390 --> 00:01:33,280
- Bye bye
- Bye
26
00:01:46,660 --> 00:01:50,510
Fade in. Interior--
Coffee shop. Night.
27
00:01:51,140 --> 00:01:54,820
An unconventionally handsome man
pounds away at his lonely laptop,
28
00:01:54,850 --> 00:01:59,100
writing the summer blockbuster that will lift
him from poverty and put him in a home of his own.
29
00:02:02,170 --> 00:02:06,810
A beautiful woman crosses to him.
There eyes meet.
30
00:02:12,890 --> 00:02:17,480
Suddenly, a flash of light appears in the sky,
and a burning meteor plummets to the Earth.
31
00:02:17,650 --> 00:02:22,330
DeSto presents:
33
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,330
Two & Half Men Season 06 Episode 24
34
00:02:24,340 --> 00:02:26,390
So, when do you think you'll be home?
35
00:02:28,430 --> 00:02:31,070
But i was looking forward
having dinner with you.
36
00:02:32,970 --> 00:02:35,090
Alright see you later.
37
00:02:35,100 --> 00:02:37,540
Yeah. Love you too.
38
00:02:42,790 --> 00:02:45,310
Love you too.
39
00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:50,200
- Alan?
- Yeah.
40
00:02:50,210 --> 00:02:52,270
Smack your kid for me.
41
00:02:53,460 --> 00:02:56,080
Should we really risk more brain damage?
42
00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:59,490
Thanks for sticking up for me, Dad.
43
00:02:59,940 --> 00:03:02,480
You'll never guess who I ran into.
44
00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:06,210
- Kobe Bryant?
- No.
45
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,660
- Lauren Conrad?
- No.
46
00:03:07,670 --> 00:03:10,950
- Sean "P.Diddy" Combs?
- What is wrong with you?
47
00:03:11,950 --> 00:03:14,760
No, I ran into Mia at the coffee shop.
48
00:03:15,260 --> 00:03:16,700
You're kidding.
49
00:03:16,710 --> 00:03:19,960
No, uh, apparently, she's single
again and, uh, living in L.A.
50
00:03:19,970 --> 00:03:22,810
What's wrong with you?
51
00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:28,490
So... Mia. How did she look?
52
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,080
Oh, better than ever.
53
00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:32,470
Damn.
54
00:03:33,270 --> 00:03:35,060
What did she say?
55
00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:37,640
Uh, she said to give you her best.
56
00:03:37,670 --> 00:03:39,780
- That's it?
- Pretty much.
57
00:03:40,130 --> 00:03:41,970
- How did she say it?
- What do you mean?
58
00:03:42,820 --> 00:03:46,740
I mean, was it perfunctory
or was there subtext?
59
00:03:46,750 --> 00:03:49,080
Perfunctory.
60
00:03:50,580 --> 00:03:54,080
That could be my rap
name. MC Perfunctory.
61
00:03:57,020 --> 00:03:59,100
I don't know.
62
00:03:59,110 --> 00:04:02,870
but I-I mentione that you were engaged,
and, uh, she seemed happy for you.
63
00:04:03,220 --> 00:04:06,500
You told her I was engaged?
Why the hell would you do that?
64
00:04:06,510 --> 00:04:09,080
Because you are, in fact, engaged.
65
00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:10,290
And she seemed happy about that?
66
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:12,070
Yeah, she said, "Good for him."
67
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:15,200
- How did she say it?
- Was it perfunctory?
68
00:04:16,550 --> 00:04:18,670
Or were there subtitles?
69
00:04:20,710 --> 00:04:22,740
I'm leaving.
70
00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:25,960
And yet the memory of him lingers on.
71
00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:28,050
- Hey, Uncle Charlie.
- Yeah?
72
00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:29,700
Love you.
73
00:04:31,790 --> 00:04:35,010
To think I fought for shared custody.
74
00:04:35,390 --> 00:04:37,230
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so... so back to Mia.
75
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:39,560
Oh, don't tell me you're
still carrying a torch for her.
76
00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:42,350
No, I'm not carrying a torch for her.
77
00:04:42,770 --> 00:04:44,930
Why, do you think she's
carrying a torch for me?
78
00:04:44,950 --> 00:04:47,630
Charlie, you are engaged
to a wonderful woman.
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00:04:47,650 --> 00:04:48,920
Just forget about Mia.
80
00:04:48,950 --> 00:04:51,310
I had forgotten about her.
81
00:04:51,340 --> 00:04:54,580
I had forgotten about
her face... her eyes...
82
00:04:54,860 --> 00:04:58,510
her lips, her legs. Oh, God, those legs.
83
00:04:59,330 --> 00:05:01,280
You're the one who brought her up.
84
00:05:01,690 --> 00:05:05,930
Sorry. Look, I'm the last one to tell you
you can't have feelings for an old girlfriend.
85
00:05:05,940 --> 00:05:09,270
I mean, I myself still have
very strong feelings for Melissa.
86
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:10,960
Who's Melissa?
87
00:05:10,980 --> 00:05:12,320
My receptionist.
88
00:05:12,330 --> 00:05:16,640
Oh, right. The one that
caught you in bed with her mom.
89
00:05:17,180 --> 00:05:20,940
Uh, you're leaving out a lot of
extenuating circumstances, but...
90
00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:23,840
yes, she caught me
rubbing against her mother.
91
00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:27,830
And you want to compare that
freak show to what Mia and I had?
92
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:29,750
I almost married her.
93
00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:32,970
All I'm saying is, you can
acknowledge your feelings for Mia
94
00:05:32,980 --> 00:05:35,550
while still moving forward with Chelsea.
95
00:05:35,580 --> 00:05:37,200
That's exactly what I intend to do.
96
00:05:37,220 --> 00:05:38,960
- Good.
- It is good.
97
00:05:45,580 --> 00:05:47,940
You're thinking about
sex with Mia, aren't you?
98
00:05:49,070 --> 00:05:51,200
You're thinking about sex
with Melissa, aren't you?
99
00:05:51,230 --> 00:05:54,000
Trying to, but her mom keeps popping in.
100
00:06:05,140 --> 00:06:07,830
Okay, okay. I'm just going
to come out and say it.
101
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:11,400
Baseball was better with steroids.
102
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:17,880
I mean, this guy is leading
the league with 11 home runs.
103
00:06:17,900 --> 00:06:21,090
Back in Sammy Sosa's day,
that was a slow weekend.
104
00:06:22,390 --> 00:06:23,830
Call me crazy, but...
105
00:06:23,870 --> 00:06:29,110
I think people would pay real money to see
a meat-covered robot hit a ball 750 feet.
106
00:06:32,990 --> 00:06:36,540
Okay, well... Sportscenter is over.
107
00:06:37,460 --> 00:06:39,820
Time for sex.
108
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:43,590
Charlie, please, this
report's due tomorrow.
109
00:06:44,270 --> 00:06:46,370
All right.
110
00:06:46,380 --> 00:06:51,110
I guess our relationship is getting to
that mature, evolved stage they tk about.
111
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:53,830
- Guess so.
- Terrific.
112
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:56,590
I hope I die soon.
113
00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:59,010
- What?
- Love you.
114
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:04,780
Remember when you used to close the
door and tried to hit the porcelain
115
00:07:04,790 --> 00:07:06,460
so I didn't have to hear you pee?
116
00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:10,460
Yeah, way back when we used
to have sex after Sportscenter.
117
00:07:18,210 --> 00:07:21,490
Hello? Uh, hang on.
118
00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:25,150
Charlie, there's a woman
named Mia on the phone.
119
00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:32,420
- Should I take a message?
- No, no, no.
120
00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:40,550
Hello.
121
00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:43,660
Oh, hey, Mia. What a surprise.
122
00:07:44,150 --> 00:07:46,890
Yeah, Alan mentioned he ran into you.
123
00:07:47,220 --> 00:07:49,280
Old friend.
124
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Yes, yes, you heard correctly.
125
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I am engaged. Thank you.
126
00:07:56,570 --> 00:07:59,380
Yes, that was her.
127
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:02,010
Oh, she's terrific.
128
00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:06,430
And how are you?
129
00:08:06,940 --> 00:08:09,680
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
130
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:12,480
Well, there's plenty more fish in the s.
131
00:08:12,510 --> 00:08:16,960
And I'm sure you'll get out there in
that old dating pond and catch something.
132
00:08:19,380 --> 00:08:22,640
You know, a-a-a
fish, not a disease.
133
00:08:24,110 --> 00:08:27,070
Anyway, thanks for the
good wishes. Bye-bye.
134
00:08:33,260 --> 00:08:35,410
Okay, well, good night.
135
00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:40,130
- Old friend, huh?
- Yeah.
136
00:08:40,140 --> 00:08:43,900
She heard I was engaged and
wanted to congratulate me.
137
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,450
Sweet kid.
138
00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:49,320
Is this the woman you almost
married in Vegas a few years ago?
139
00:08:51,910 --> 00:08:54,780
- Charlie?
- I'm thinking.
140
00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:57,750
Charlie.
141
00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,270
- Who told you about that?
- Your brother.
142
00:09:00,970 --> 00:09:02,880
Oh, really?
143
00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:06,730
Did he tell you his last girlfriend
caught him in bed with her mother?
144
00:09:06,950 --> 00:09:08,470
Yes, he did.
145
00:09:08,490 --> 00:09:10,590
What a dirtbag, huh?
146
00:09:13,870 --> 00:09:16,370
So, were you ever going
to tell me about Mia?
147
00:09:16,380 --> 00:09:18,750
What's the point?
148
00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:21,990
Have you told me about every
guy you've ever been with?
149
00:09:22,010 --> 00:09:23,190
Actually, I have.
150
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:26,580
My boyfriend in high school, two
guys in college and the man I married.
151
00:09:26,620 --> 00:09:28,410
That's
it-- four?
152
00:09:28,430 --> 00:09:31,490
Back in your day, that
was a slow weekend, right?
153
00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:36,540
It's not a competition, Chels.
154
00:09:38,830 --> 00:09:42,450
So, why do you think this Mia is
calling you in the middle of the night?
155
00:09:42,780 --> 00:09:45,690
Honey, it was perfectly innocent.
156
00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:48,790
She just called to congratulate
me on our engagement.
157
00:09:54,380 --> 00:09:57,340
No, she didn't. She called
to see if you're happy.
158
00:09:57,350 --> 00:09:58,990
She wants to know if
you're still available.
159
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,330
Really, you think so?
160
00:10:05,130 --> 00:10:07,600
I mean... Really, you think so?
161
00:10:07,610 --> 00:10:09,550
Yes, I think so.
162
00:10:09,580 --> 00:10:12,780
The question is:are you
happy? Are you available?
163
00:10:12,790 --> 00:10:15,490
Oh, come on, Chels. What
kind of question is that?
164
00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:18,840
No, I'm not available, and
I'm certainly not happy.
165
00:10:21,710 --> 00:10:24,640
- You know what I mean.
- I hope so.
166
00:10:25,050 --> 00:10:29,180
Yep. I'm a happy and lucky man.
167
00:10:29,980 --> 00:10:31,950
Happy, happy, happy.
168
00:10:32,150 --> 00:10:34,390
Lucky, lucky, lucky.
169
00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:39,600
And wet.
170
00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:43,380
I'm kind of wet.
171
00:10:48,140 --> 00:10:49,930
What you writing?
172
00:10:49,970 --> 00:10:51,960
- A screenplay.
- Cool.
173
00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:54,920
Hey, I got a great idea
for a movie if you want it.
174
00:10:54,930 --> 00:10:56,980
Thanks--
I'm okay.
175
00:11:00,220 --> 00:11:02,240
What is it?
176
00:11:02,250 --> 00:11:06,820
Okay. So there's this guy wh on the highway,
where he hits like a moose or something.
177
00:11:06,830 --> 00:11:10,740
And he loses control of his car and
crashes into a truck full of toxic waste.
178
00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:14,690
And wh he kes up in the hospital,
he's part car anpart animal.
179
00:11:16,730 --> 00:11:19,080
Car-nimal.
180
00:11:20,830 --> 00:11:22,810
thanks, but think I'll
stick with my idea.
181
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:25,380
- Fine-- what's your idea?
- You really interested?
182
00:11:25,390 --> 00:11:27,090
Sure.
183
00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:31,310
Well, it's, uh... it's about a man, uh,
who's at a crossroads in his life, uh,
184
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:34,630
coming to terms with, uh,
loss and... and mortality.
185
00:11:36,220 --> 00:11:37,870
- You know what you could call it?
- What?
186
00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:40,240
Boring.
187
00:11:41,950 --> 00:11:42,930
Thank you.
188
00:11:42,940 --> 00:11:46,290
Rated G... A-Y.
189
00:11:53,090 --> 00:11:54,330
- Hey, Charlie.
- Hey, Herb.
190
00:11:54,340 --> 00:11:55,700
I'm here to pick up Jake.
191
00:11:55,730 --> 00:11:57,620
Oh, come on in.
192
00:11:57,670 --> 00:12:00,980
Jake, time to get the
hell out of my house!
193
00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:04,240
So, how's it going?
194
00:12:04,270 --> 00:12:06,560
Oh, pretty good. Baby's
coming any day now.
195
00:12:06,570 --> 00:12:08,360
Judith's got that glow of motherhood.
196
00:12:08,370 --> 00:12:11,410
Gangway, I gotta freakin' pee again.
197
00:12:16,650 --> 00:12:19,160
Yeah, she's radiant.
198
00:12:20,310 --> 00:12:22,910
Hey, Herb. Jake's just
finishing breakfast.
199
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:26,780
Or he could be starting
lunch. It's a fine line.
200
00:12:26,790 --> 00:12:28,560
Well, he is a growing boy.
201
00:12:28,580 --> 00:12:31,220
He's a growing pain in my ass.
202
00:12:32,190 --> 00:12:33,660
He says that with love.
203
00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:37,680
No, I say it with a dull,
throbbing pain in my ass.
204
00:12:40,470 --> 00:12:42,360
My water just broke.
205
00:12:42,380 --> 00:12:44,410
Are you sure?
206
00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:51,820
Yes, I'm sure.
207
00:12:54,090 --> 00:12:56,560
I ain't cleaning that up.
208
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,490
Boy, this brings back memories, huh?
209
00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:07,840
Shut up.
210
00:13:08,250 --> 00:13:10,420
Slipping in Judith's amniotic fluid.
211
00:13:10,430 --> 00:13:12,710
Guess this'll be pretty funny someday.
212
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:15,650
It's pretty funny right now, Herb.
213
00:13:16,020 --> 00:13:18,020
Hello? A little help here!
214
00:13:18,030 --> 00:13:19,000
Ding! Ding! Ding!
215
00:13:19,010 --> 00:13:21,480
Hold your horses, I'm...
216
00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:25,810
- Dr. Harper?
- Melissa, what are you doing here?
217
00:13:25,820 --> 00:13:26,990
I work here.
218
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:31,000
I had to find another
job after... You know.
219
00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:36,500
For the last time, I did not
have sex with your mother!
220
00:13:36,510 --> 00:13:38,480
Excuse me, I'm having a baby here!
221
00:13:38,510 --> 00:13:39,780
Yeah, and I think I broke my ankle.
222
00:13:39,810 --> 00:13:42,490
- Quit whining, Herb!
- Her doctor's on his way.
223
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:44,410
The contractions are
about eight minutes apart.
224
00:13:44,420 --> 00:13:45,670
Oh, well, let's get you to prenatal.
225
00:13:45,710 --> 00:13:48,250
I'll sign you in and have
an orderly take you upstairs.
226
00:13:48,260 --> 00:13:50,830
No. No, No, no. I'm
the father. I'll do it.
227
00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:52,910
Bad idea, Herb.
228
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,500
I'm here, Judith. Everything's okay.
229
00:13:58,040 --> 00:13:59,770
God.
230
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:02,130
My arm!
231
00:14:02,430 --> 00:14:04,880
I'm coming, Judith!
232
00:14:05,750 --> 00:14:09,020
Stay down, champ. It's not your night.
233
00:14:10,310 --> 00:14:12,690
Oh, my freaking God!
234
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:15,360
Now, you're not breathing.
You got to remember to breathe.
235
00:14:15,370 --> 00:14:17,870
Good, good, good. Okay.
236
00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:20,250
Now, you're only two minutes apart.
So we're in the homestretch here.
237
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:21,580
Great.
238
00:14:21,590 --> 00:14:23,040
Boy...
239
00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:27,190
It seems like just yesterday we were at this
same hospital waiting for little Jake to arrive.
240
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:33,500
I guess after pushing out his enormous head, this
one will feel like spitting a watermelon seed.
241
00:14:37,030 --> 00:14:39,940
So anyway, I really love my fianc\e,
242
00:14:39,970 --> 00:14:45,250
but I can't get this
other girl out of my mind.
243
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:48,740
I mean, she told my
brother to give me her best.
244
00:14:48,770 --> 00:14:53,040
And let me tell ya, her best could curl
your hair and make your ass whistle.
245
00:14:56,490 --> 00:14:59,880
Is that what you're here
for? A whistling ass?
246
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:05,000
No-no, no. There's a baby and
some broken bones. Not important.
247
00:15:05,990 --> 00:15:12,040
The thing is, I know you can't expect to keep
the passion of a new relationship going forever,
248
00:15:12,050 --> 00:15:14,450
but I kind of miss it.
249
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:18,260
Maybe it's just that the grass
always looks greener, you know?
250
00:15:18,870 --> 00:15:21,080
- You see this cooler?
- Yeah.
251
00:15:21,430 --> 00:15:25,580
It's carrying two light beers, a
half a ham sandwich and my thumb.
252
00:15:30,090 --> 00:15:35,080
So you'll excuse me if I lack a certain
degree of interest in your romantic dilemma.
253
00:15:38,540 --> 00:15:40,670
You got beer?
254
00:15:41,820 --> 00:15:43,230
- OhGod! Oh, God!
- Now, focus on me.
255
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:48,300
Remember your breathing.
One, two, one, two, one...
256
00:15:48,310 --> 00:15:50,030
Dr. Harper?
257
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,820
- Melissa.
- I miss you.
258
00:15:54,130 --> 00:15:55,730
Oh, I miss you, too.
259
00:15:56,430 --> 00:15:59,020
- Can we talk?
- Of course.
260
00:15:59,990 --> 00:16:02,130
Alan!
261
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:05,380
You're fine. Just keep breathing.
262
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:08,790
Hey, Charlie!
263
00:16:09,850 --> 00:16:13,770
Look at me. I'm half man, half machine.
264
00:16:15,550 --> 00:16:19,850
Kind of like Jake's
movie idea. Car-nimal!
265
00:16:21,390 --> 00:16:24,180
It's okay, dude. I'm going
to hang here for a while.
266
00:16:26,170 --> 00:16:28,350
I love that guy!
267
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:31,830
What the hell did they give you?
268
00:16:31,850 --> 00:16:33,760
Oh, the good stuff.
269
00:16:33,780 --> 00:16:37,050
You could pull out every one of
my teeth, I wouldn't even notice.
270
00:16:38,410 --> 00:16:40,640
They didn't, did they?
271
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:45,640
You're fine.
272
00:16:45,660 --> 00:16:47,750
Okay, then. Guess we should get going.
273
00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:50,330
You drive, okay? I'm pretty buzzed.
274
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:52,020
What about Judith?
275
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,500
No, let's not bring her. She's a downer.
276
00:16:56,460 --> 00:16:59,410
No argument, but there is the baby.
277
00:16:59,420 --> 00:17:02,070
Oh, my God... the baby!
278
00:17:02,650 --> 00:17:06,080
Judith needs me. I must go to her.
279
00:17:06,090 --> 00:17:10,500
I'm coming, Judith! I'm coming!
280
00:17:13,990 --> 00:17:16,790
Hey, Charlie, how'd
you get here so quick?
281
00:17:21,570 --> 00:17:26,960
Oh, I tried to forget you.
To hate you. But I couldn't.
282
00:17:27,260 --> 00:17:30,310
Really? Most people
don't have that problem.
283
00:17:33,570 --> 00:17:37,060
Beer and chips. This
is turning out okay.
284
00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:41,890
Did you see where my friend went?
285
00:17:41,910 --> 00:17:45,330
He went hobbling down the hall,
mumbling about some Judith.
286
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,410
I better go warn the villagers.
287
00:17:49,550 --> 00:17:51,450
Good luck to you.
288
00:17:52,420 --> 00:17:54,260
Thanks. Oh, and hey.
289
00:18:02,020 --> 00:18:04,420
Good luck to you, too.
290
00:18:09,350 --> 00:18:11,190
God!
291
00:18:15,070 --> 00:18:17,720
Oh, there you are.
292
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:19,800
You seen Herb?
293
00:18:19,810 --> 00:18:21,940
No, I haven't seen Herb!
294
00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:25,130
Chips?
295
00:18:25,150 --> 00:18:28,340
- No, I don't want any chips!
- Okay.
296
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:31,130
I don't think you're
supposed to have beer.
297
00:18:31,140 --> 00:18:33,280
Get out of here!
298
00:18:33,290 --> 00:18:34,900
No problem.
299
00:18:34,910 --> 00:18:36,880
Wait! Don't leave me!
300
00:18:38,230 --> 00:18:41,390
I need someone to coach
me through my contractions.
301
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,940
All right.
302
00:18:52,820 --> 00:18:55,060
Way to go.
303
00:18:57,390 --> 00:19:00,380
Judith! I'm coming!
304
00:19:02,060 --> 00:19:06,980
See, I love Chelsea, but you
know, there was a time I loved Mia.
305
00:19:11,130 --> 00:19:13,270
Breathe.
306
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,370
All right, you're fully dilated.
307
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:19,720
I think it's time to have this baby.
308
00:19:20,060 --> 00:19:22,230
Okay, well... good luck.
309
00:19:22,820 --> 00:19:24,710
Don't you dareeave me!
310
00:19:27,050 --> 00:19:29,120
Judith, I'm here!
311
00:19:31,660 --> 00:19:35,460
Whoopsie. Think I broke my nose.
312
00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:39,380
Three cheers for Demerol.
313
00:19:39,740 --> 00:19:43,070
- Hip-hip!
- Hooray!
314
00:19:47,670 --> 00:19:51,220
Interior-- hospital
delivery room. Day.
315
00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:55,930
An unconventionally handsome man looks
down upon the baby that might be his,
316
00:19:55,940 --> 00:19:58,500
but which he can never claim.
317
00:20:04,190 --> 00:20:08,960
Suddenly, a flash of light appears in the sky
and a flaming meteor plummets to the Earth.
318
00:20:08,970 --> 00:20:12,390
See, that's me holding the baby.
319
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,310
That's me and the doctor.
320
00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:16,880
That's me, Judith and the baby.
321
00:20:17,490 --> 00:20:18,550
Who's that?
322
00:20:18,570 --> 00:20:21,550
Oh, that's just a guy who
got his thumb sewn back on.
323
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:24,170
I can't get over how
into this baby you are.
324
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:27,650
It was amazing. The miracle of birth.
325
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:30,820
If Judith hadn't been there,
it would've been perfect.
326
00:20:31,270 --> 00:20:34,990
So you're not against maybe
having one of your own someday?
327
00:20:35,020 --> 00:20:36,590
I don't see why not.
328
00:20:36,630 --> 00:20:38,340
Turns out, I like babies.
329
00:20:38,370 --> 00:20:41,180
And as you know, I'm a
longtime fan of intercourse.
330
00:20:42,020 --> 00:20:44,920
I know. I got to get back to work.
331
00:20:44,930 --> 00:20:46,740
- Okay, I'll see you tonight.
- Love you.
332
00:20:46,750 --> 00:20:47,390
Love you, too.
333
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,080
- Bye, Alan.
- Bye.
334
00:20:51,630 --> 00:20:53,680
- How's the screenplay coming?
- Great.
335
00:20:53,690 --> 00:20:55,460
Still on page one?
336
00:20:55,820 --> 00:20:58,200
Yeah, but now it really sizzles.
337
00:20:58,970 --> 00:21:00,720
Hi, Charlie.
338
00:21:04,020 --> 00:21:05,760
Mia.
339
00:21:06,750 --> 00:21:08,920
To be continued...
340
00:21:09,110 --> 00:21:20,970
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