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1
00:00:04,300 --> 00:00:11,740
This film contains very strong language.
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Do you want some banana?
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- Banana!
- Yeah, banana.
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Good boy!
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Is that nice?
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HE CHUCKLES
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00:00:37,460 --> 00:00:41,820
How many times did you wake
us up last night? Mmm?
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Mmm? Too many.
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Do you see that?
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What's that?
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There.
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ENGINE STARTS UP
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CAR KEY BEEPS
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00:02:47,460 --> 00:02:53,220
TANNOY: 16:24 service to
Milton Keynes Central...
15
00:03:10,140 --> 00:03:11,740
SIRENS WAILING
16
00:04:12,260 --> 00:04:14,500
BIRDS SINGING
17
00:06:43,140 --> 00:06:44,940
WOLF WHISTLE
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THEY LAUGH
19
00:06:52,340 --> 00:06:54,300
LAUGHTER CONTINUES
20
00:06:58,260 --> 00:06:59,500
Oh, fuck!
21
00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:00,780
THEY LAUGH
22
00:07:03,980 --> 00:07:06,420
THEY SHOUT
23
00:07:08,940 --> 00:07:11,340
HE PANTS
24
00:07:11,340 --> 00:07:12,580
Come here!
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Oh, God! Oh, God!
26
00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:20,540
THEY SHOUT
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00:07:26,660 --> 00:07:28,180
BIRDS SINGING
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00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:44,660
Hey, you know, you've got lovely hair,
lovely color. Is that natural?
29
00:08:44,660 --> 00:08:45,700
Yeah.
30
00:08:48,580 --> 00:08:50,700
You know, you remind me
of one of those dogs.
31
00:08:50,700 --> 00:08:53,300
You know, the red ones?
Really loopy! Lots of saliva...
32
00:08:55,980 --> 00:08:59,020
- Red setters?
- Red setters! That's it! A red setter!
33
00:08:59,020 --> 00:09:01,820
You have got exactly
the same hair as a red setter.
34
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Snap!
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Snap!
36
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Snap!
37
00:09:23,220 --> 00:09:24,860
Black eye, snap! Who hit you?
38
00:09:27,060 --> 00:09:29,220
- Sorry?
- How did you get yours? Who hit you?
39
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:34,020
- A tree.
- A tree?! A tree hit you?! Did it?
40
00:09:35,820 --> 00:09:38,460
What? You had a fight with a tree, did you?
41
00:09:38,460 --> 00:09:40,860
- I...I ran into it, yeah.
- You ran into it?
42
00:09:40,860 --> 00:09:43,940
How did you do that? I'm sure that
hurt, did it? Did you not see it?
43
00:09:43,940 --> 00:09:45,660
Yeah. It was dark, at night.
44
00:09:45,660 --> 00:09:47,180
Oh, I see.
45
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Easily done.
46
00:09:48,980 --> 00:09:51,020
So how's the tree?
47
00:09:51,020 --> 00:09:52,580
Is it OK? I love trees.
48
00:09:53,580 --> 00:09:54,780
I think the tree's OK.
49
00:09:54,780 --> 00:09:56,900
Oh, that's good. That's good.
50
00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:58,660
I say you're a sick fudda.
51
00:09:58,660 --> 00:10:01,100
- What?
- A sick fudda, I say you're a sick fudda.
52
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,180
A sick what...? A sick...a sick fella?
53
00:10:03,180 --> 00:10:05,780
A sick fudda! You know, you look very tall.
54
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Oh, a six footer?
55
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Yes! A sick fudda!
56
00:10:08,980 --> 00:10:11,620
- How tall are you?
- I'm...six foot four.
57
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Six foot four? That is tall.
58
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HE SHOUTS: How's the weather up there?
59
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HE CHUCKLES
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The tall fellas in school, you know.
61
00:10:18,260 --> 00:10:21,660
HE SHOUTS: How's the weather up there?
How's the weather up there?
62
00:10:21,660 --> 00:10:24,300
Hey! Will we have much longer to wait now?
63
00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:27,180
This fella is seriously injured, man!
He's had a fight with a tree!
64
00:10:27,180 --> 00:10:28,460
I'm sorry, I can't say.
65
00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:30,660
OK. That's good. Thanks, anyway.
Thanks very much.
66
00:10:36,460 --> 00:10:37,540
Evans?
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Tom Evans.
68
00:10:41,380 --> 00:10:42,700
That's me.
69
00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:44,780
Oh! Here he is! He's here! This is him!
70
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Here's Tom Evans!
71
00:10:50,340 --> 00:10:51,460
See you, Tom.
72
00:10:53,980 --> 00:10:56,140
Hey, Tom! God bless.
73
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He's a nice fella, isn't he?
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HE WHISPERS: Tom Evans.
75
00:11:21,020 --> 00:11:22,300
Oh, fuck.
76
00:11:22,300 --> 00:11:24,420
Tom, Tom! Hey, Tom!
77
00:11:24,420 --> 00:11:28,020
They turned me away! Can you believe it?
They said there's nothing wrong with me.
78
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:30,320
I told them, I must have
broken my arm or something,
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you know. It really hurts when I do this.
80
00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:34,460
Cos I've always wanted to get
one of them plaster casts,
81
00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:37,060
I'd get all my friends to sign it,
they could draw things on it -
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fannies, boobies, knobs,
funny things like that,
83
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but I've never broken a bone in my life!
Can you believe it?
84
00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:43,740
My name is Aidan, by the way. Aidan Murphy.
85
00:11:43,740 --> 00:11:45,540
- Am I annoying you?
- Wha...?
86
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:48,380
- What?
- Am I annoying you?
87
00:11:48,380 --> 00:11:51,140
- No. No, you're OK. - I am, aren't I?
I don't mind, you can say if I do.
88
00:11:51,140 --> 00:11:52,900
No, no... You...you're not annoying me.
89
00:11:52,900 --> 00:11:55,700
- Oh, really? You're not just saying that?
- No, no.
90
00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:57,260
You're a nice man, Tom. I like you.
91
00:11:59,580 --> 00:12:02,340
It's a lovely day, isn't it?
Which way you going?
92
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Uh... Which way...are you going?
93
00:12:07,180 --> 00:12:08,660
I don't mind, I'm easy.
94
00:12:13,620 --> 00:12:15,860
- You know what I'd like right now?
- What?
95
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:17,140
A hot bitch.
96
00:12:17,140 --> 00:12:19,500
- A hot what?
- A hot bitch.
97
00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:20,940
Don't you just love the bitch?
98
00:12:20,940 --> 00:12:23,220
The sun, the sea, the sand.
99
00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:25,020
Oh, beach. Beaches?
100
00:12:25,020 --> 00:12:26,460
Yes! Bitches.
101
00:12:26,460 --> 00:12:30,100
You know, I can't even remember
the last time I sat on a hot bitch.
102
00:12:42,860 --> 00:12:45,100
I'm going to go this way, so bye.
103
00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:47,900
Do you live this way, Tom?
Where do you live?
104
00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:49,620
What do you do? How old are you?
105
00:12:49,620 --> 00:12:50,780
What job do you have?
106
00:13:00,660 --> 00:13:04,700
I got locked in here once,
you know, late one night.
107
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:07,220
I thought I saw a floating head.
108
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,420
It turned out...it was just a plastic bag.
109
00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:16,860
Oh, no! I need to go, I need to go, Tom.
I need to pee.
110
00:13:16,860 --> 00:13:19,380
I can't pee in here, can I? Can I?
111
00:13:19,380 --> 00:13:21,860
The man upstairs wouldn't like that,
would he?
112
00:13:21,860 --> 00:13:23,900
- The man upstairs.
- Yeah, I know what you mean.
113
00:13:23,900 --> 00:13:25,780
Look, just go behind that tree quickly.
114
00:13:25,780 --> 00:13:27,580
But he won't mind, will he?
115
00:13:27,580 --> 00:13:29,940
Don't want to go upsetting him now,
116
00:13:29,940 --> 00:13:31,700
don't want to go incurring his wrath.
117
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PANTING
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PANTING INTENSIFIES
119
00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:10,780
THEY PANT
120
00:14:34,220 --> 00:14:35,580
Tom! Tom!
121
00:14:38,860 --> 00:14:40,260
There you are!
122
00:14:40,260 --> 00:14:42,020
I thought I'd lost you there for a minute.
123
00:14:42,020 --> 00:14:44,020
Easily done, you know, a big place.
124
00:14:47,660 --> 00:14:49,140
I love graveyards.
125
00:14:49,140 --> 00:14:51,980
Do you think it might be getting a bit
overcrowded in heaven, Tom?
126
00:14:51,980 --> 00:14:54,260
I'm not... I don't really
believe in heaven.
127
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You don't believe in heaven!
128
00:15:18,220 --> 00:15:21,300
It's just the way it is, you know.
Anyway, this is where I live.
129
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Home, sweet home!
130
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Do you want to come up and see my flat?
131
00:15:29,700 --> 00:15:33,340
That's very kind of you, but
I...I think I'm going to get going.
132
00:15:36,220 --> 00:15:37,620
You all right there, Tom?
133
00:15:39,540 --> 00:15:40,940
You don't look too good.
134
00:15:41,980 --> 00:15:43,580
In fact, you look a bit pasty.
135
00:15:44,820 --> 00:15:46,260
I'm...I'm fine.
136
00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:51,580
Whoa! Tom! What are you doing, Tom?
Are you all right?
137
00:15:52,820 --> 00:15:54,220
HE CHUCKLES
138
00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:56,740
What's going...? What's going on?
139
00:15:56,740 --> 00:15:57,780
Hello?
140
00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:13,980
HUMMING
141
00:16:30,260 --> 00:16:33,020
HE HUMS
142
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,140
THEY SHOUT
143
00:16:44,140 --> 00:16:46,700
HE LAUGHS
144
00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:50,420
Oh, great! You're awake! Come on in,
come on in. Sit down, sit down.
145
00:16:50,420 --> 00:16:52,420
Sit down, Tom! Sit down!
146
00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:54,580
I have a beer for you.
147
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:57,460
- Would you like a beer?
- Yeah. - Good man, sit down.
148
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,500
How...how long was I out for?
149
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:06,420
Oh. Not long, not long.
I think you were just hungry, that's all.
150
00:17:06,420 --> 00:17:09,060
You're skin and bones.
I'm making some ravioli.
151
00:17:09,060 --> 00:17:12,300
You'll feel better after you've eaten
some ravioli. Check the ravioli, Tom.
152
00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:15,540
- Oh, sorry. I'm...I'm a vegetarian,
I'm afraid. - A vegetarian?!
153
00:17:15,540 --> 00:17:17,700
What, so ravioli is no good, no?
154
00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:19,580
It's got meat in it.
155
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:22,300
Has it?! No... Is there?!
156
00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:24,500
Hang on. Uh...
157
00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:26,340
Ravioli, 53%.
158
00:17:26,340 --> 00:17:29,580
Durum, semolina... I love semolina.
Water...
159
00:17:29,580 --> 00:17:31,860
I can't see it. No, wait, here it is.
You're right.
160
00:17:31,860 --> 00:17:34,500
Beef, 14% beef. No good?
161
00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:36,980
- It's only 14%. No?
- No.
162
00:17:36,980 --> 00:17:39,140
Vegetarian, uh...
163
00:17:39,140 --> 00:17:40,700
Vegetarian...
164
00:17:41,740 --> 00:17:42,980
Vegetarian...
165
00:17:44,460 --> 00:17:45,980
Do you eat ham?
166
00:17:45,980 --> 00:17:47,020
No.
167
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:50,580
You know what I do have?
168
00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:55,060
The king of biscuits!
169
00:17:55,060 --> 00:17:57,060
Custard creams!
170
00:17:58,740 --> 00:18:01,580
CRUNCHING
171
00:18:08,340 --> 00:18:09,940
HE SIGHS
172
00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:21,900
You can stay the night if you want, Tom.
173
00:18:21,900 --> 00:18:26,860
Well, uh... That's very kind of you,
but I'm feeling a bit better now.
174
00:18:26,860 --> 00:18:28,420
I think I might get going.
175
00:18:28,420 --> 00:18:30,401
Do you know anyone who's
looking for a place to
176
00:18:30,422 --> 00:18:32,340
stay? Cos I'm trying to
rent out that top bunk.
177
00:18:32,350 --> 00:18:33,740
Erm... No, I don't.
178
00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:38,620
If you hear of anyone,
will you let me know? It's going cheap.
179
00:18:41,300 --> 00:18:43,060
Wait, you HAVE to see this!
180
00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:50,420
Now, that's Slim and that's Shady.
181
00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:52,580
No, wait. That's Slim and that's Shady.
182
00:18:52,580 --> 00:18:54,260
Hang on, it's hard to tell them apart.
183
00:18:54,260 --> 00:18:56,820
They're giant African snails.
They have a fanny and a knob!
184
00:18:56,820 --> 00:18:58,940
Did you know that? It sounds like fun,
doesn't it?
185
00:18:58,940 --> 00:19:01,380
They keep laying hundreds of eggs,
but it's very sad,
186
00:19:01,380 --> 00:19:03,380
cos I have to keep throwing
the babies away.
187
00:19:03,380 --> 00:19:05,620
Would you like some snail babies, Tom?
188
00:19:06,660 --> 00:19:09,060
No... Not just at the moment, thanks.
189
00:19:09,060 --> 00:19:11,340
Cos Linda won't let me keep the babies.
190
00:19:11,340 --> 00:19:13,060
- Who's Linda?
- Linda's my girlfriend.
191
00:19:13,060 --> 00:19:14,180
DOOR OPENS
192
00:19:14,180 --> 00:19:17,180
Speak of the devil!
I think that might be her now!
193
00:19:17,180 --> 00:19:19,100
Is that you, Linda?!
194
00:19:19,100 --> 00:19:20,860
Of course it's me!
195
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:22,620
Who else is it going to be?
196
00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:24,980
We were just talking about you!
I want you to meet Tom.
197
00:19:24,980 --> 00:19:26,460
Are your ears burning?
198
00:19:26,460 --> 00:19:29,460
- Oh, they are! They're hot!
- Get off!
199
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:32,300
- Keep your blocks of ice away from me!
- She's talking about my hands.
200
00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:34,460
I've got very cold hands.
It's my circulation.
201
00:19:34,460 --> 00:19:36,660
Same with my feet. I'm like Mr Freeze.
202
00:19:36,660 --> 00:19:39,140
Can I get in, please? And who's Lurch?
203
00:19:39,140 --> 00:19:40,780
This is my new friend, Tom.
204
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:44,580
He's a vegetarian and he
doesn't believe in heaven.
205
00:19:44,580 --> 00:19:46,340
How much did you make today?
206
00:19:46,340 --> 00:19:48,660
Erm... Not as much as yesterday.
207
00:19:48,660 --> 00:19:51,460
- You hardly made anything yesterday.
- I know that.
208
00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:57,500
It just wasn't that good of a day,
I suppose.
209
00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:59,420
Is this it? Jesus...
210
00:20:07,620 --> 00:20:09,032
Did you have the
last of the beers?
211
00:20:09,053 --> 00:20:11,700
You can have some of that if you want.
There's not much left...
212
00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:14,860
- It's a bit warm, I can put it in the
fridge.- I don't fucking want that, do I?!
213
00:20:14,860 --> 00:20:18,100
Now, go and get some more beers now.
214
00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:19,780
OK. Right away.
215
00:20:35,340 --> 00:20:36,860
What do you want now?
216
00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:39,780
Can you give me that money
I just gave you? I don't have enough.
217
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:42,940
No, I fucking can't!
Why do you always make me do that, Aidan?
218
00:20:42,940 --> 00:20:45,140
Why do you always have to fucking rile me?
219
00:20:45,140 --> 00:20:47,260
You've always got to push my
fucking buttons.
220
00:20:47,260 --> 00:20:48,780
I don't even want another drink.
221
00:20:48,780 --> 00:20:52,420
And get fucking Lurch out
my fucking house now. Fuck off!
222
00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:56,980
She's a lovely girl, really.
223
00:20:56,980 --> 00:21:00,820
She didn't even hit me that hard.
She's only messing, like, you know?
224
00:21:00,820 --> 00:21:04,300
She can hit a lot harder than that,
I can tell you.
225
00:21:04,300 --> 00:21:07,220
She's had a bit of a rough life, you know?
226
00:21:07,220 --> 00:21:10,460
Yes, well, I think
I'd better get going now.
227
00:21:10,460 --> 00:21:12,140
Are you sure you feel well enough?
228
00:21:12,140 --> 00:21:15,300
I'm fine, thanks. Thanks for everything.
229
00:21:15,300 --> 00:21:17,860
Think nothing of it.
We should meet up soon.
230
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:20,140
You know where I live
so come round any time.
231
00:21:20,140 --> 00:21:21,860
Sure. Sure. I will.
232
00:21:23,420 --> 00:21:26,700
It was lovely meeting you.
Look at how tall you are.
233
00:21:26,700 --> 00:21:29,340
- I'm like a Munchkin standing next to you.
- Get him out now!
234
00:21:29,340 --> 00:21:31,500
He's going! He's going!
235
00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:33,580
I'll see you soon.
236
00:21:33,580 --> 00:21:35,620
Thanks for a super time.
237
00:21:35,620 --> 00:21:36,660
Super time.
238
00:23:48,900 --> 00:23:52,260
Hiya. Could I have a tea, please?
239
00:23:57,940 --> 00:23:59,380
That's £1, please, mate.
240
00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:47,060
One second. There's someone at the door.
241
00:24:47,060 --> 00:24:48,540
Hello.
242
00:24:48,540 --> 00:24:49,980
I'm sorry, love. You are?
243
00:24:51,220 --> 00:24:54,220
I'm Tom, I was here last night with Aidan.
244
00:24:54,220 --> 00:24:56,340
Aidan's not here.
245
00:24:56,340 --> 00:24:57,380
Sorry, excuse me.
246
00:24:59,140 --> 00:25:02,500
You didn't happen to find
some money, did you?
247
00:25:02,500 --> 00:25:06,060
I've lost some money and
I've just been retracing my steps.
248
00:25:06,060 --> 00:25:10,900
How much are we talking?
50p? 20p? £1? What?
249
00:25:10,900 --> 00:25:13,500
No. More like £200.
250
00:25:17,780 --> 00:25:18,820
£200?
251
00:25:22,340 --> 00:25:24,020
£200?
252
00:25:24,020 --> 00:25:26,460
I thought it might have
slipped down behind the sofa.
253
00:25:26,460 --> 00:25:29,500
I just spring-cleaned the whole flat
and there ain't nothing in there.
254
00:25:29,500 --> 00:25:31,140
So...
255
00:25:34,500 --> 00:25:37,820
I don't mean to be rude
but could I just...?
256
00:25:37,820 --> 00:25:39,740
No. Well, I've looked, haven't I?
257
00:25:42,100 --> 00:25:45,300
Sorry, mate.
258
00:25:45,300 --> 00:25:46,900
OK, all right, thanks.
259
00:25:48,140 --> 00:25:50,540
- Thanks anyway.
- Yeah, all right, bye. - Bye.
260
00:26:19,340 --> 00:26:22,300
Excuse me. Sorry to bother you.
261
00:26:22,300 --> 00:26:24,500
- You couldn't spare me any change,
could you? - What?
262
00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:26,540
Could you spare me a bit of change, please?
263
00:26:26,540 --> 00:26:28,940
- No.
- What's that? Sorry?
264
00:26:28,940 --> 00:26:32,380
- I was wondering if you could spare
any change. - Oh, no, sorry.
265
00:27:07,580 --> 00:27:11,460
- You've got lovely hair. Do you know that?
- What? - Lovely color.
266
00:27:11,460 --> 00:27:13,380
- Is it natural?
- Yeah.
267
00:27:14,380 --> 00:27:17,900
Do you have mice? Do you have any mice?
268
00:27:17,900 --> 00:27:21,580
Mice? I don't think so.
I don't know. I hope not.
269
00:27:21,580 --> 00:27:23,940
You probably do,
you just haven't realised it yet.
270
00:27:23,940 --> 00:27:27,260
They're incontinent, you know that?
They wee all over your surfaces.
271
00:27:27,260 --> 00:27:28,940
Joe? Can you come here, please?
272
00:27:28,940 --> 00:27:33,300
This is Treacle. All mice tremble
in fear in his mighty presence.
273
00:27:33,300 --> 00:27:35,420
I charge £2.50 for the initial...
274
00:27:35,420 --> 00:27:36,500
Joe! Joe!
275
00:27:36,500 --> 00:27:39,180
He's a bit slow because he's
wobbly on his legs but once the mice
276
00:27:39,180 --> 00:27:41,740
get a whiff of him you'll
never hear from them again.
277
00:27:41,740 --> 00:27:44,220
I'll get him out and let
him wander round, shall I?
278
00:27:44,220 --> 00:27:48,380
No. Don't do that.
Let me get my boss. OK? Joe!
279
00:27:48,380 --> 00:27:50,820
Check your toasters as well.
The trays at the bottom,
280
00:27:50,820 --> 00:27:53,860
sometimes the crumbs aren't crumbs.
It's mouse poo!
281
00:28:01,180 --> 00:28:04,260
- All right, man. Do you want to come
over here? - Are you the owner?
282
00:28:04,260 --> 00:28:07,500
- Yes, yes. Just come around.
- Brilliant, round this way?
283
00:28:12,060 --> 00:28:14,620
- Through the door.
- Out the back, is it?
284
00:28:21,420 --> 00:28:22,660
Aargh!
285
00:28:50,260 --> 00:28:51,580
Aaargh!
286
00:29:03,660 --> 00:29:07,180
Don't you ever come to my shop
and bother my customers again.
287
00:29:07,180 --> 00:29:10,500
You hear me?
What the fuck are you smiling for?
288
00:29:10,500 --> 00:29:13,420
Don't you ever, ever show
your face in this shop again.
289
00:29:13,420 --> 00:29:15,900
I'm going to put your head
in the deep fryer.
290
00:29:15,900 --> 00:29:18,780
I'm going to deep-fry your fucking face.
You understand?
291
00:29:18,780 --> 00:29:20,660
What you fucking smiling about?
292
00:29:22,820 --> 00:29:27,780
- Stupid man.
- Sorry about that. - Fuck off!
293
00:29:57,740 --> 00:29:59,420
Aidan, it's me.
294
00:29:59,420 --> 00:30:00,660
Tom? Is that you?
295
00:30:01,740 --> 00:30:03,020
Here, let me help you up.
296
00:30:03,020 --> 00:30:06,140
Fancy meeting you here. Oh, look,
I'm going to get blood all over you.
297
00:30:06,140 --> 00:30:08,340
No. It's fine, it's fine. Come on.
298
00:30:12,740 --> 00:30:14,500
Are you OK to stand?
299
00:30:14,500 --> 00:30:17,100
I'm OK. I'm grand, I'm grand.
300
00:30:17,100 --> 00:30:19,300
You don't look grand.
301
00:30:19,300 --> 00:30:21,940
Look at my eyes.
302
00:30:21,940 --> 00:30:23,740
What for?
303
00:30:23,740 --> 00:30:26,420
Just close your eyes.
304
00:30:26,420 --> 00:30:28,180
Open them again.
305
00:30:28,180 --> 00:30:30,260
- Close them.
- Are you a doctor, Tom?
306
00:30:30,260 --> 00:30:32,620
No. I just want to see if you
have concussion or not,
307
00:30:32,620 --> 00:30:35,180
- see if your pupils are fixed.
- You sound like a doctor.
308
00:30:35,180 --> 00:30:36,500
I'm not a doctor.
309
00:30:36,500 --> 00:30:43,060
Now, when I say, "Go," I want you to
open your eyes really wide
310
00:30:43,060 --> 00:30:44,460
and look straight at me.
311
00:30:44,460 --> 00:30:46,220
OK? Ready?
312
00:30:46,220 --> 00:30:47,940
Yes, I'm ready.
313
00:30:47,940 --> 00:30:50,420
OK, go. That's it. That's it.
There you are.
314
00:30:54,020 --> 00:30:57,220
You haven't got a concussion.
315
00:30:57,220 --> 00:30:59,180
I think you should still get checked out.
316
00:30:59,180 --> 00:31:02,940
- You took so many blows to the head.
- I'm OK. I've got a skull like a rock.
317
00:31:02,940 --> 00:31:05,660
I've never broken a bone in
my body in my entire life.
318
00:31:05,660 --> 00:31:06,780
I haven't. I swear.
319
00:31:06,780 --> 00:31:08,500
I must have bones of steel or something.
320
00:31:08,500 --> 00:31:11,660
Or else very bendy bones like rubber bones.
321
00:31:11,660 --> 00:31:14,420
Treacle! Oh, no, Treacle!
322
00:31:15,740 --> 00:31:18,180
Treacle's missing!
Mrs Brophy's going to go crazy!
323
00:31:18,180 --> 00:31:20,740
She'll never speak to me again in my life.
This is awful.
324
00:31:20,740 --> 00:31:24,300
- This is terrible! Treacle! Treacle!
- We'll find him.
325
00:31:24,300 --> 00:31:25,900
Tom , you have to help me find him!
326
00:31:25,900 --> 00:31:27,020
- Treacle?
- Treacle!
327
00:31:27,020 --> 00:31:30,580
Tom, you have to help me find him!
Tom, you have to help me find him!
328
00:31:30,580 --> 00:31:32,820
Treacle! Treacle!
329
00:31:32,820 --> 00:31:35,260
It's Uncle Aidan. It's Uncle Aidan.
330
00:31:35,260 --> 00:31:37,820
- Treacle?
- Treacle!
331
00:31:37,820 --> 00:31:38,860
Treacle?
332
00:31:42,020 --> 00:31:43,060
Treacle!
333
00:31:44,340 --> 00:31:45,380
Treacle!
334
00:32:09,300 --> 00:32:10,380
Treacle!
335
00:32:15,900 --> 00:32:17,620
Treacle!
336
00:32:21,260 --> 00:32:22,340
Treacle!
337
00:32:23,740 --> 00:32:24,780
Treacle?
338
00:32:25,900 --> 00:32:27,820
Treacle?
339
00:32:27,820 --> 00:32:28,860
Treacle!
340
00:32:34,940 --> 00:32:37,540
- He doesn't look good, does he?
- No.
341
00:32:43,060 --> 00:32:44,700
I wonder how he died.
342
00:32:46,860 --> 00:32:48,300
How old was he?
343
00:32:48,300 --> 00:32:52,260
He wasn't that old. Like 16, 17.
344
00:32:53,500 --> 00:32:54,940
17? That's really old.
345
00:32:56,900 --> 00:33:00,260
Poor Mrs Brophy. Treacle was all she had.
346
00:33:01,540 --> 00:33:02,980
She's a very lonely lady.
347
00:33:05,420 --> 00:33:08,060
I don't like to think of people
on their own.
348
00:33:08,060 --> 00:33:09,980
People shouldn't be on their own.
349
00:33:12,180 --> 00:33:14,180
What can we do, Tom?
350
00:33:14,180 --> 00:33:16,740
Mrs Brophy is such a nice lady.
351
00:33:17,900 --> 00:33:19,340
Fuck off, you retard.
352
00:33:21,620 --> 00:33:25,020
I'm really sorry,
Mrs Brophy! I'm really, really sorry.
353
00:33:26,900 --> 00:33:30,500
Are you sure you don't want the kitten?
I think he's really lovely.
354
00:33:30,500 --> 00:33:32,820
I was thinking maybe you
could call him Treacle Jr.
355
00:33:32,820 --> 00:33:35,460
Fuck off.
356
00:33:35,460 --> 00:33:38,740
I don't think she wants him.
357
00:33:38,740 --> 00:33:40,220
What am I going to do with him?
358
00:33:40,220 --> 00:33:43,980
I can't keep him, Linda hates cats,
she's super allergic to them.
359
00:34:11,780 --> 00:34:15,740
He's lovely, isn't he? I love you.
Oh, I love you.
360
00:34:15,740 --> 00:34:18,260
But nobody wants you.
361
00:34:18,260 --> 00:34:23,500
You're an orphan, Treacle,
a little orphan just like me.
362
00:34:23,500 --> 00:34:26,060
We could be orphans together.
363
00:34:26,060 --> 00:34:27,580
You're an orphan?
364
00:34:27,580 --> 00:34:30,460
My mammy and daddy gave me up.
365
00:34:30,460 --> 00:34:31,500
Were you adopted?
366
00:34:31,500 --> 00:34:34,780
No. I didn't have much luck with that.
367
00:34:34,780 --> 00:34:36,900
Do you know why your parents gave you up?
368
00:34:36,900 --> 00:34:38,540
I was a blue baby.
369
00:34:38,540 --> 00:34:40,180
The cord was all wrapped around me
370
00:34:40,180 --> 00:34:42,540
so they thought I was
going to turn out like,
371
00:34:42,540 --> 00:34:49,140
"Hello. My name is Aidan.
It's really nice to meet you."
372
00:34:49,140 --> 00:34:52,060
But instead, you know,
I just turned out fine.
373
00:34:56,740 --> 00:34:59,380
- Have you ever met your parents since?
- No. I did write to them
374
00:34:59,380 --> 00:35:02,420
but they've been a bit slow
getting back to me.
375
00:35:02,420 --> 00:35:05,900
But what about you, Tom?
I don't know much about you.
376
00:35:05,900 --> 00:35:07,260
Oh...
377
00:35:07,260 --> 00:35:09,940
Sorry. I get very affectionate
when I'm drunk.
378
00:35:09,940 --> 00:35:11,620
Very affectionate.
379
00:35:11,620 --> 00:35:15,460
- Sorry. Am I bothering you?
- No, you're fine.
380
00:35:15,460 --> 00:35:17,620
You've got lovely eyes, you know that?
381
00:35:17,620 --> 00:35:22,620
Anyone ever tell you that?
Lovely long lashes. Like a horse.
382
00:35:22,620 --> 00:35:24,100
Can I get you another drink?
383
00:35:24,100 --> 00:35:25,980
No, I'm going to go...
384
00:35:25,980 --> 00:35:28,780
Oh, come on, let me get you another.
You saved my life today,
385
00:35:28,780 --> 00:35:30,100
it's the least I can do.
386
00:35:30,100 --> 00:35:31,780
I really didn't save your life.
387
00:35:31,780 --> 00:35:33,220
You did come to my rescue.
388
00:35:33,220 --> 00:35:35,700
Yeah, but you lost a source of income.
389
00:35:35,700 --> 00:35:38,060
Sure, I've got millions of other
ways of making money.
390
00:35:38,060 --> 00:35:40,020
I'm an entrepreneur. That's what I do.
391
00:35:40,020 --> 00:35:44,780
I cut people's hedges,
I wash people's bins, I do anything.
392
00:35:44,780 --> 00:35:48,220
Besides, I've got my savings, see?
393
00:35:48,220 --> 00:35:51,140
I'm saving up, you see?
394
00:35:51,140 --> 00:35:52,780
What are you saving for?
395
00:36:08,620 --> 00:36:10,460
What do you think?
396
00:36:10,460 --> 00:36:11,700
Very good.
397
00:36:11,700 --> 00:36:15,020
Beautiful, isn't she?
Only the best for me. Won't be long now.
398
00:36:15,020 --> 00:36:18,460
She's going to be mine.
Paul, best one in the shop. Isn't she?
399
00:36:18,460 --> 00:36:21,060
Paul, best one in the shop?
400
00:36:21,060 --> 00:36:22,580
I'm starting a band, you see.
401
00:36:22,580 --> 00:36:24,900
Ask me who's in my band. Ask me.
402
00:36:24,900 --> 00:36:26,460
Who's in your band?
403
00:36:26,460 --> 00:36:27,740
Me, myself and I.
404
00:36:31,180 --> 00:36:34,980
You know The White Stripes?
It's just guitar, drums and vocals.
405
00:36:34,980 --> 00:36:37,220
Very stripped back, yeah?
Very stripped back.
406
00:36:37,220 --> 00:36:39,580
Well, me, I take things that
one stage further.
407
00:36:39,580 --> 00:36:42,300
It's just drums and vocals.
You understand, Tom?
408
00:36:42,300 --> 00:36:45,380
It's different, you see? People
want something different, don't they?
409
00:36:45,380 --> 00:36:48,100
- Do you want to hear one of me songs?
- Well...
410
00:36:48,100 --> 00:36:51,300
# I am the holy man! I am the holy man!
411
00:36:51,300 --> 00:36:55,820
# There's people in there, fuck it!
They're standing in their pockets
412
00:36:55,820 --> 00:36:59,060
# Don't go there after dark A vampire bat
will come get you
413
00:37:00,100 --> 00:37:02,100
# Wooo! I'm the holy man! #
414
00:37:05,620 --> 00:37:08,140
Do you want to hear another one?
415
00:37:08,140 --> 00:37:11,380
When you find something you're good at,
you just go with it, don't you?
416
00:37:11,380 --> 00:37:14,940
- You do. - It's like the sticks
are extensions of my hands.
417
00:37:14,940 --> 00:37:17,540
It's like I've got stick hands.
418
00:37:17,540 --> 00:37:21,020
It makes me feel very happy
when I drum. I feel free.
419
00:37:21,020 --> 00:37:23,100
I feel like I'm in heaven.
420
00:37:23,100 --> 00:37:25,660
I've been keeping some money
back from Linda, you know.
421
00:37:25,660 --> 00:37:28,300
She'd go loopy if she knew
I was saving up for those drums.
422
00:37:28,300 --> 00:37:31,860
Loopy! Those drums, you know,
423
00:37:31,860 --> 00:37:33,740
they're my ticket to fame and fortune.
424
00:37:33,740 --> 00:37:36,220
I'm going to be famous one day.
425
00:37:36,220 --> 00:37:37,300
When you're famous,
426
00:37:37,300 --> 00:37:40,700
all sorts of people come
out of the woodwork, don't they?
427
00:37:40,700 --> 00:37:43,540
That'd be a good way to meet my mother
and father again, wouldn't it?
428
00:37:43,540 --> 00:37:45,620
Just using the old noggin, you see?
429
00:37:48,020 --> 00:37:50,620
How do you know you're going to be famous?
430
00:38:05,500 --> 00:38:07,900
You've had trouble with animals today.
Am I right?
431
00:38:07,900 --> 00:38:10,460
Yes! Yes! We have, haven't we, Tom?
432
00:38:10,460 --> 00:38:12,860
- Something to do with cats?
- A cat! Yes!
433
00:38:12,860 --> 00:38:15,180
Hear that, Tom? Amazing. Amazing.
434
00:38:15,180 --> 00:38:18,620
- What else?
- I see a new lady in your life.
435
00:38:18,620 --> 00:38:21,620
Linda? Is it Linda? It has to be Linda.
Is she black?
436
00:38:21,620 --> 00:38:23,540
She is black.
437
00:38:23,540 --> 00:38:25,460
It is Linda. That's amazing.
438
00:38:25,460 --> 00:38:27,580
I don't think you can trust her.
439
00:38:27,580 --> 00:38:30,500
- What? - She don't have your
best interests at heart.
440
00:38:30,500 --> 00:38:33,100
Oh, no. That's not Linda.
It must be someone else.
441
00:38:33,100 --> 00:38:34,460
Someone close to you.
442
00:38:34,460 --> 00:38:35,620
Well, there's Mrs Brophy.
443
00:38:35,620 --> 00:38:37,980
She lives a few doors down,
that's pretty close.
444
00:38:37,980 --> 00:38:40,020
- That's not what I mean.
- She's not black.
445
00:38:40,020 --> 00:38:42,820
She does use sun beds quite a lot.
Could it be that?
446
00:38:44,060 --> 00:38:48,780
- You have a very strange aura.
- Did you hear that, Tom? That's lucky!
447
00:38:48,780 --> 00:38:51,140
You never said that to me. This is Tom.
448
00:38:51,140 --> 00:38:54,060
He's a vegetarian and he
doesn't believe in heaven.
449
00:38:54,060 --> 00:38:57,420
Oh. I see. So I'll be guessing
you don't believe in auras then?
450
00:38:57,420 --> 00:38:58,980
No, sorry, I don't.
451
00:38:58,980 --> 00:39:02,300
Don't say that, Tom! Don't say that.
He doesn't really mean that.
452
00:39:02,300 --> 00:39:05,300
- Yes, I do. - Esther, quick,
tell him about my famous thing.
453
00:39:05,300 --> 00:39:07,820
Wait till you hear this, Tom.
This will blow you away!
454
00:39:07,820 --> 00:39:10,220
Well, the very first time
I saw Aidan I could tell
455
00:39:10,220 --> 00:39:11,500
he was going to be famous.
456
00:39:11,500 --> 00:39:13,740
You hear that? The very first time.
457
00:39:13,740 --> 00:39:16,780
She's only said that to one other person
and that person turned out
458
00:39:16,780 --> 00:39:19,060
- to be a famous belly dancer.
- A belly dancer?
459
00:39:19,060 --> 00:39:21,420
- Ballet dancer.
- A belly dancer, that's what I said.
460
00:39:21,420 --> 00:39:24,580
She went to the Royal School Of
Belly Dancing, isn't that right?
461
00:39:24,580 --> 00:39:26,980
I see Tom's still not convinced.
462
00:39:26,980 --> 00:39:28,820
Esther, will you do Tom for me?
463
00:39:28,820 --> 00:39:30,780
No. No way. I'm not interested, thanks.
464
00:39:30,780 --> 00:39:33,300
- Wait and see. It'll be great.
- No.
465
00:39:35,660 --> 00:39:37,060
You're not very well, are you?
466
00:39:37,060 --> 00:39:39,300
You not very well?
What's wrong with you, Tom?
467
00:39:39,300 --> 00:39:44,420
- Who's Sam? - "Who's Sam?" she says.
She said, "Who's Sam?" Who is Sam?
468
00:39:44,420 --> 00:39:46,340
This is clearly bullshit.
469
00:39:47,780 --> 00:39:50,860
- Fuck this.
- Tom! Wait for me. Where are you going?
470
00:39:50,860 --> 00:39:54,340
- Aidan, you've forgotten something.
- Oh, yes. Sorry about that.
471
00:39:54,340 --> 00:39:57,420
Wait up, Tom. Wait, wait.
472
00:39:57,420 --> 00:40:01,220
- Tom! What's wrong?
- Leave me alone. - What's the matter?
473
00:40:01,220 --> 00:40:03,580
- Was it something she said?
- Leave me the fuck alone.
474
00:40:03,580 --> 00:40:05,900
- What's the matter?
- Fucking leave me alone.
475
00:40:05,900 --> 00:40:08,900
- Have I done something wrong?
- Yes! You never leave me the fuck alone!
476
00:40:08,900 --> 00:40:11,500
I've been trying to get away from
you from day fucking one!
477
00:40:11,500 --> 00:40:15,740
- Well, Tom...
- Oh, shut up! Shut up! Shut the fuck up.
478
00:40:15,740 --> 00:40:17,660
I can't cope with people.
479
00:40:17,660 --> 00:40:20,380
I can't even talk to my wife,
I can't talk to my best friends.
480
00:40:20,380 --> 00:40:23,140
Why on earth do you think
I'd want to talk to you?
481
00:40:28,700 --> 00:40:30,540
What about Treacle Jr?
482
00:41:41,420 --> 00:41:43,180
'Tom's very sad, ain't he?'
483
00:41:45,580 --> 00:41:47,780
'I think we need to help him, don't you?'
484
00:41:47,780 --> 00:41:49,540
CAT PURRS
485
00:41:55,500 --> 00:42:00,300
'I wish I could just hang on to you...
even just for a little while.'
486
00:42:02,660 --> 00:42:05,660
'You probably have no idea that you're
going to die one day, do you?
487
00:42:06,780 --> 00:42:08,540
'That's a really nice thing.
488
00:42:10,060 --> 00:42:11,860
'Not to have a worry in the world.'
489
00:42:14,540 --> 00:42:16,060
DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES
490
00:42:18,060 --> 00:42:20,300
Aidan.
491
00:42:21,620 --> 00:42:24,820
- Aidan?
- Hello!
492
00:42:27,180 --> 00:42:29,020
Where are you?
493
00:42:34,860 --> 00:42:36,180
Hi, how's it going?
494
00:42:37,460 --> 00:42:41,420
I've had such a fucking
awful night. Oh, God.
495
00:42:43,260 --> 00:42:44,860
I'm fucked.
496
00:42:51,660 --> 00:42:55,060
- Here, massage my neck for me.
- Of course! I love doing that!
497
00:42:58,900 --> 00:43:04,020
- Ow! God! Ouch! No! It's too hard, Aidan!
- Sorry about that.
498
00:43:06,100 --> 00:43:10,020
- Is that a bruise?
- Argh! Don't poke it, you retard!
499
00:43:12,180 --> 00:43:17,460
- Sorry about that.
- Yeah, all right. All right!
500
00:43:25,260 --> 00:43:26,340
What?
501
00:43:29,300 --> 00:43:30,980
Take your trousers off.
502
00:43:30,980 --> 00:43:33,940
Take my trousers off?
503
00:43:33,940 --> 00:43:40,140
- Yeah, take your trousers off.
- What? Why? - What do you think?
504
00:43:43,620 --> 00:43:46,380
- I thought you said we were never
going to do this. - I know.
505
00:43:46,380 --> 00:43:49,620
And don't get any ideas cos I ain't going
to make a habit out of it.
506
00:43:54,220 --> 00:43:57,860
You know, like,
I've never really done this before.
507
00:43:57,860 --> 00:44:00,740
Well, maybe at that school,
when one of the Christian brothers...
508
00:44:00,740 --> 00:44:04,740
Shut up.
509
00:44:04,740 --> 00:44:06,700
OK.
510
00:44:06,700 --> 00:44:08,580
SHE MOANS
511
00:44:10,740 --> 00:44:12,420
What's going on?
512
00:44:12,420 --> 00:44:14,300
SHE SNEEZES
513
00:44:16,820 --> 00:44:21,020
- Has there been a cat in here?
- What? No, what makes you think that?
514
00:44:21,020 --> 00:44:25,460
Don't fucking lie to me, Aidan,
cos I can feel it!
515
00:44:25,460 --> 00:44:27,420
Oh, God. I've got to get out of here.
516
00:44:30,700 --> 00:44:34,580
I want you to hoover up
before I get back, all right?
517
00:44:34,580 --> 00:44:37,100
God, it's all right for you cos
you do not know how I suffer!
518
00:44:37,100 --> 00:44:39,660
I don't want that bloody
cat in here ever again
519
00:44:39,660 --> 00:44:41,660
cos I will fucking kill you, Aidan!
520
00:44:41,660 --> 00:44:43,260
For fuck's sake!
521
00:44:43,260 --> 00:44:46,020
OK, OK, I won't! I won't.
522
00:44:46,020 --> 00:44:47,340
LINDA SNEEZES
523
00:44:47,340 --> 00:44:48,580
DOOR CLOSES
524
00:44:52,500 --> 00:44:54,500
CAT MEOWS
525
00:44:57,140 --> 00:45:02,420
Look here. Look here. Don't worry,
everything is going to be all right.
526
00:47:37,060 --> 00:47:38,700
KNOCK ON DOOR
527
00:47:44,700 --> 00:47:47,820
- Oh, hello. Aidan.
- Yeah?
528
00:47:47,820 --> 00:47:49,380
It's Lurch.
529
00:47:49,380 --> 00:47:50,580
LINDA SNEEZES
530
00:47:50,580 --> 00:47:53,860
- Bless you.
- Well, come on.
531
00:47:53,860 --> 00:47:57,620
- You're letting all the cold air in
standing there. - Tom!
532
00:47:57,620 --> 00:48:01,220
Tom, I'm so happy to see you!
So happy to see you! Where did you go?
533
00:48:01,220 --> 00:48:06,180
- How you been? Are you all right?
- I've come to apologise.
534
00:48:06,180 --> 00:48:09,820
- Apologise? What for?
- I was very rude to you yesterday.
535
00:48:09,820 --> 00:48:12,140
No, you're just upset, I understand that.
536
00:48:12,140 --> 00:48:17,060
That's very gracious of you,
but I said things I shouldn't have said.
537
00:48:17,060 --> 00:48:20,980
- You're a nice man... - Don't be saying
that, you know? I blush very easily.
538
00:48:20,980 --> 00:48:24,500
I blush very easily. Am I going a bit
beetroot? I feel a bit beetroot.
539
00:48:24,500 --> 00:48:28,380
Anyway...there's something
I wanted to ask you -
540
00:48:28,380 --> 00:48:32,660
- if it's OK if I could stay with you for
a bit? - Huh? - I'd pay rent.
541
00:48:32,660 --> 00:48:34,180
You want to rent out the top bunk!?
542
00:48:34,180 --> 00:48:37,340
- If that's OK?
- If that's OK?! That's brilliant news!
543
00:48:37,340 --> 00:48:42,060
- That's brilliant!
- I've got some money. Here.
544
00:48:42,060 --> 00:48:44,940
- What's that?
- Here.
545
00:48:44,940 --> 00:48:48,140
My goodness!
That looks like quite a lot of money...
546
00:48:48,140 --> 00:48:49,460
A couple of hundred.
547
00:48:49,460 --> 00:48:52,900
A couple of hundred?!
You could stay for ever for that!
548
00:48:52,900 --> 00:48:55,620
- It's too much. I couldn't take that.
- No, please, please take it.
549
00:48:55,620 --> 00:48:58,940
- It's an advance. It's what people
normally do. - Is it?
550
00:48:58,940 --> 00:49:01,740
Yes. Is it? OK. OK.
551
00:49:01,740 --> 00:49:04,580
All right. So...
552
00:49:04,580 --> 00:49:07,740
Wow! Looks like I can afford me
drums now! Brilliant news!
553
00:49:07,740 --> 00:49:09,180
What are you so happy about?
554
00:49:09,180 --> 00:49:11,340
Tom's agreed to rent out the top bunk!
555
00:49:11,340 --> 00:49:13,140
Oh, yeah?
556
00:49:13,140 --> 00:49:18,500
Yes. He's given me £100. £100 upfront,
isn't that great news?
557
00:49:18,500 --> 00:49:22,900
Oh? Well, you've just got money
to burn, haven't you?
558
00:49:22,900 --> 00:49:25,740
I think that this calls for a PARTY!
559
00:49:27,300 --> 00:49:34,300
I am the king! I am the king!
Bow to me! Bow to me!
560
00:50:52,220 --> 00:50:54,220
I didn't know you had a kid.
561
00:50:54,220 --> 00:50:57,020
- He looks nothing like you.
- SHE GIGGLES
562
00:50:57,020 --> 00:51:00,180
I never knew you had a kid, Tom.
You never said. Give us a look.
563
00:51:00,180 --> 00:51:05,300
I love kids! Come on, give us a look.
Does he have your eyes, Tom?
564
00:51:05,300 --> 00:51:07,700
Tom has lovely eyes.
565
00:51:07,700 --> 00:51:15,700
What's his name, Tom?
Tom, what is his name? What is his name?
566
00:51:15,700 --> 00:51:17,620
What's his name?
567
00:51:20,940 --> 00:51:23,140
MUSIC BLARES FROM THE OTHER ROOM
568
00:52:13,260 --> 00:52:15,780
How much longer are you
going to be in there?
569
00:52:21,100 --> 00:52:22,500
I need you.
570
00:52:24,260 --> 00:52:27,220
Can you come OUT, please?
571
00:52:38,820 --> 00:52:39,900
I need you.
572
00:52:41,180 --> 00:52:45,660
Fucking lightweight.
Come on, you drunken fuck.
573
00:52:45,660 --> 00:52:48,820
AIDAN LAUGHS
574
00:52:52,700 --> 00:52:55,660
It's all right, babe.
I've got it from here. Come on.
575
00:52:55,660 --> 00:52:58,100
AIDAN LAUGHS
576
00:52:58,100 --> 00:53:04,300
- What are you laughing at? - I can't
believe Tom gave us so much money.
577
00:53:04,300 --> 00:53:08,460
Mr Moneybags. He is loaded.
578
00:53:08,460 --> 00:53:10,780
You should charge him
more for that top bunk.
579
00:53:10,780 --> 00:53:12,500
He gave me £200, that's loads!
580
00:53:12,500 --> 00:53:18,700
- It was £100, you retard.
- No, it was 200. 200.
581
00:53:18,700 --> 00:53:23,420
- I kept some back for my savings.
- Your savings, eh?
582
00:53:23,420 --> 00:53:27,300
What are you saving up for?
583
00:53:27,300 --> 00:53:33,100
- For my drums, of course.
- Your drums?
584
00:53:33,100 --> 00:53:34,900
HE LAUGHS
585
00:53:49,380 --> 00:53:52,700
Just us diehards now, eh?
586
00:53:52,700 --> 00:53:57,420
- I'm off to bed. - You're not
quitting the party so soon, are you?
587
00:53:59,540 --> 00:54:04,460
So...do you always walk
around with bags of cash on you?
588
00:54:05,500 --> 00:54:11,740
- Not really, no. - You should be
careful around here, definitely.
589
00:54:11,740 --> 00:54:17,580
Some fuckers would slit your
throat for ten pence. I should know...
590
00:54:17,580 --> 00:54:19,460
most of them are my mates.
591
00:54:23,580 --> 00:54:24,740
Aidan was right.
592
00:54:28,020 --> 00:54:29,540
You do have lovely eyes.
593
00:54:32,300 --> 00:54:37,740
- Very sexy eyes actually.
- Please, don't do that. Don't do...
594
00:54:39,660 --> 00:54:45,380
Aidan calls you the gentle giant.
That's just what you are, ain't you?
595
00:54:45,380 --> 00:54:52,380
The gentle giant. Except you're
not so gentle any more now, hey?
596
00:54:52,380 --> 00:54:56,660
You're quite hard actually. The hard giant.
597
00:54:56,660 --> 00:54:58,500
SHE SPITS
598
00:55:00,540 --> 00:55:02,780
Yeah...
599
00:55:02,780 --> 00:55:05,380
HE GASPS
600
00:55:09,140 --> 00:55:10,300
Oh!
601
00:55:24,540 --> 00:55:26,620
Oops.
602
00:55:39,820 --> 00:55:43,980
Have a good sleep, won't you?
Don't fall out the top bunk.
603
00:56:29,060 --> 00:56:30,940
Choose a hand!
604
00:56:30,940 --> 00:56:33,780
What? Erm...
605
00:56:37,620 --> 00:56:42,980
Choose another hand. Uh-uh, wrong one.
606
00:56:42,980 --> 00:56:47,380
The key to the castle.
Now you can come and go as you please
607
00:56:47,380 --> 00:56:51,620
but you must be making sure
to be home before dark. Only joking.
608
00:56:51,620 --> 00:56:55,580
Now, to celebrate you becoming
part of the family - you, me,
609
00:56:55,580 --> 00:56:59,980
Linda, the snails - I'm going to take
you out for a special treat.
610
00:56:59,980 --> 00:57:03,900
- You don't have to do that.
- Oh, but I want to, Tom. I want to.
611
00:57:03,900 --> 00:57:08,780
- It's a mystery tour. Do you like
mysteries? - Um...
612
00:57:08,780 --> 00:57:12,660
Oh, you have to come, Tom.
It's called the Horniman Museum.
613
00:57:12,660 --> 00:57:17,060
Oh, feck! I can't believe I just told you.
I'm rubbish at keeping secrets.
614
00:57:17,060 --> 00:57:19,260
You have to come, Tom. You have to come.
615
00:59:49,700 --> 00:59:51,220
DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES
616
00:59:59,100 --> 01:00:01,020
Holy Jesus!
617
01:00:01,020 --> 01:00:03,900
I didn't see you there! What
are you doin' sitting there in the dark?
618
01:00:03,900 --> 01:00:06,060
- What happened to your arm?
- What? Oh, this?
619
01:00:07,900 --> 01:00:10,180
- I was mugged by some fella.
- Mugged?!
620
01:00:10,180 --> 01:00:12,060
- Yeah.
- You OK?
621
01:00:12,060 --> 01:00:13,620
Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine.
622
01:00:14,820 --> 01:00:17,540
- Did he take anything?
- Only me savings.
623
01:00:18,660 --> 01:00:20,940
- All of your savings?!
- Yes, how unlucky's that?
624
01:00:22,420 --> 01:00:23,900
Aidan, I'm sorry.
625
01:00:23,900 --> 01:00:27,180
Oh, it's OK, know what I mean?
Out of one hand, into the other.
626
01:00:27,180 --> 01:00:30,020
That's what I always say.
That's another way of looking at it.
627
01:00:30,020 --> 01:00:33,900
I broke me arm, I have a cast,
so it's not all doom and gloom, is it?
628
01:00:36,380 --> 01:00:39,660
- Did he break your arm?
- Yes, well...
629
01:00:39,660 --> 01:00:43,020
Kind of when he come at me, I tripped
on the kerb and kind of fell funny.
630
01:00:43,020 --> 01:00:45,260
It must have been the
easiest mugging in history.
631
01:00:45,260 --> 01:00:47,380
Will you sign my cast for me,
Tom? Will you sign it?
632
01:00:47,380 --> 01:00:48,860
- (Sure.)
- Great!
633
01:00:50,740 --> 01:00:52,900
You're the first to sign it, Tom.
634
01:00:52,900 --> 01:00:55,020
What d'you want to draw?
What you going to draw?
635
01:00:55,020 --> 01:00:57,780
What's that? Is that an aeroplane?
636
01:00:57,780 --> 01:01:00,340
Oh, is that a tree?
637
01:01:00,340 --> 01:01:04,340
That's not a tree, is it, Tom?
That's a knob, boobies and a fanny!
638
01:01:04,340 --> 01:01:07,820
You remembered, Tom!
You remembered! Good man!
639
01:01:14,860 --> 01:01:16,820
- Have you told the police?
- Ah, no.
640
01:01:16,820 --> 01:01:19,580
- Why not? - Linda said,
"There's no point, we'll never catch them,
641
01:01:19,580 --> 01:01:21,460
"and the money's all spent now."
642
01:01:21,460 --> 01:01:22,940
That's not the point.
643
01:01:23,940 --> 01:01:25,740
Did you see what he looked like?
644
01:01:25,740 --> 01:01:29,580
Oh, yeah, a funny-looking fella.
A drippy eyelid.
645
01:01:29,580 --> 01:01:32,380
- A drippy eyelid?
- A drippy eyelid. Like this...
646
01:01:34,260 --> 01:01:37,380
- A DROOPY eyelid?
- Yes, a drippy eyelid. Like this...
647
01:01:43,540 --> 01:01:46,220
How you doin', Linda?
Have you been out shopping?
648
01:01:46,220 --> 01:01:48,540
No, I'm a mad bag lady(!)
649
01:01:48,540 --> 01:01:51,860
Oh, that's funny. Oh, that's very funny!
650
01:01:51,860 --> 01:01:55,580
I'm going to try this on. I'm going to use
the mirror in your room so DON'T come in.
651
01:01:57,140 --> 01:02:00,100
She's very funny, isn't she, Tom?
D'you think she's funny?
652
01:02:00,100 --> 01:02:03,180
I think that's important in
a relationship - laughter.
653
01:02:03,180 --> 01:02:05,020
We never stop laughing.
654
01:02:05,020 --> 01:02:08,460
She might be a tough girl, but
she's got a soft side as well, you know?
655
01:02:08,460 --> 01:02:11,540
- A quiet side.
- What the fuck is this?!
656
01:02:11,540 --> 01:02:13,500
- MEOW
- What the fuck is this?
657
01:02:13,500 --> 01:02:15,860
- Ah...
- It's a fucking kitten.
658
01:02:15,860 --> 01:02:18,780
Yes, that is a kitten.
That's Treacle Junior.
659
01:02:18,780 --> 01:02:22,820
- Oh... No! Be careful! YELLS:
- It's a fucking kitten!
660
01:02:22,820 --> 01:02:25,860
- Look, I can explain. - You
kept a kitten in here, how fucking long?
661
01:02:25,860 --> 01:02:27,540
- Um...
- All this fucking time?!
662
01:02:27,540 --> 01:02:32,620
- I can explain... - I'm fucking allergic
to cats, you fucking piece of fucking shit!
663
01:02:32,620 --> 01:02:35,700
Aah! You fucking did it on
fucking purpose, didn't you?!
664
01:02:35,700 --> 01:02:40,580
- Listen...
- You fucking retard! - HE YELLS IN PAIN
665
01:02:41,740 --> 01:02:43,860
- TOM SCREAMS
- Leave him alone!
666
01:02:43,860 --> 01:02:45,820
What are you fucking on?
667
01:02:47,260 --> 01:02:50,060
CAT MEOWS
668
01:02:50,060 --> 01:02:53,140
Don't talk to me like that.
Cos I know Billy Paul, yeah?
669
01:02:53,140 --> 01:02:54,900
I know fucking gangsters, yeah,
670
01:02:54,900 --> 01:02:58,220
that would slice your fucking head off!
671
01:02:59,620 --> 01:03:02,180
I'll cut your fucking head off!
672
01:03:03,700 --> 01:03:06,140
- Tom, Tom, Tom!
- Calm down, eh?
673
01:03:06,140 --> 01:03:09,460
No, I won't fucking calm down!
I won't fucking calm down!
674
01:03:10,460 --> 01:03:12,060
- She stole your money, Aidan.
- What?
675
01:03:12,060 --> 01:03:14,020
- She stole your money.
- No, she didn't, Tom.
676
01:03:14,020 --> 01:03:16,380
It was the fella with
the drippy eye stole my money.
677
01:03:16,380 --> 01:03:20,940
- She was fucking him in the cemetery.
- No, Tom, no! - Fuck off!
678
01:03:20,940 --> 01:03:23,500
- Don't fucking do me, you...
- SHE GASPS
679
01:03:23,500 --> 01:03:26,500
- Tom! - Why don't you fucking
tell the truth for once?
680
01:03:26,500 --> 01:03:31,300
Why don't you tell the truth?
Why don't you tell the truth?
681
01:03:31,300 --> 01:03:33,940
Why don't you?
Why don't you tell the truth?
682
01:03:33,940 --> 01:03:36,940
SHE PANTS Tell me to talk.
Want me to talk, Tom?
683
01:03:36,940 --> 01:03:38,740
- You're lying.
- No, she's not lying.
684
01:03:38,740 --> 01:03:42,820
She's asthmatic. She's asthmatic, Tom!
She's having an attack.
685
01:03:44,580 --> 01:03:47,460
Tom! She's asthmatic.
She's asthmatic! Get the puffer!
686
01:03:47,460 --> 01:03:51,540
Get the puffer! We have to get the puffer!
Get the puffer! Get the puffer!
687
01:03:51,540 --> 01:03:54,420
Linda, where's your puffer?
Your bag... It's in the bag...
688
01:03:54,420 --> 01:03:57,060
Look! Tom, look. What am I going to do? Oh!
689
01:03:57,060 --> 01:04:01,180
SHE CHOKES Help me, Tom! Help me!
690
01:04:01,180 --> 01:04:05,900
Help me, Tom! Tom, it's under...
I've got to get it. Tom! Help, help!
691
01:04:05,900 --> 01:04:09,540
Come on! Aah! Come on. Tom!
I got to get the puffer!
692
01:04:09,540 --> 01:04:14,100
Tom, you reach down. I'll go and look.
You reach down to get the puffer.
693
01:04:14,100 --> 01:04:18,860
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- AIDAN WAILS
694
01:04:18,860 --> 01:04:21,700
SHE GASPS FOR AIR
695
01:04:21,700 --> 01:04:23,740
CAT MEOWS
696
01:04:45,660 --> 01:04:47,420
How are you feeling now? Better?
697
01:04:50,700 --> 01:04:52,060
Take some of that.
698
01:05:04,700 --> 01:05:08,060
OK, when you're feeling a bit
better I think maybe...
699
01:05:08,070 --> 01:05:11,180
you should get your stuff together.
Cos I want you to leave.
700
01:05:16,500 --> 01:05:19,820
I want you to go,
I want you to get out of my flat.
701
01:05:22,660 --> 01:05:26,860
- You're breaking up with me?
- It's not funny, Linda, I'm serious.
702
01:05:28,060 --> 01:05:30,220
Cos I know what you've been getting up to.
703
01:05:31,620 --> 01:05:34,100
I'm not stupid.
704
01:05:34,110 --> 01:05:38,740
Or maybe I am a bit stupid,
but I'm not as stupid as people think I am.
705
01:05:38,740 --> 01:05:42,300
And I won't be letting you get away with
certain things cos I feel sorry for you.
706
01:05:43,300 --> 01:05:44,940
You...
707
01:05:44,950 --> 01:05:49,020
- feel sorry for ME?!
- Yes, I do feel sorry for you. Yes, I do.
708
01:05:49,030 --> 01:05:50,780
SHE LAUGHS
709
01:05:50,790 --> 01:05:52,740
HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
710
01:05:52,750 --> 01:05:54,660
Fuck off!
711
01:05:54,670 --> 01:05:56,874
Listen, Linda. I know
fellas have been a bit
712
01:05:56,895 --> 01:05:58,940
rough with you in the
past and everything,
713
01:05:58,950 --> 01:06:01,900
but I would NEVER hurt
you like that! Never!
714
01:06:01,910 --> 01:06:05,020
But look, I just can't help you any more.
D'you understand?
715
01:06:05,020 --> 01:06:06,944
Treacle Junior's staying
here so you're going
716
01:06:06,965 --> 01:06:08,720
to have to go, you're
going to have to go!
717
01:06:10,380 --> 01:06:13,580
You're choosing the cat...over me?
718
01:06:13,580 --> 01:06:17,180
Yes, I am. Yes, I am, cos
I love that cat! I love that cat!
719
01:06:25,500 --> 01:06:27,900
- DOOR SQUEAKS
- Oh, God!
720
01:06:28,900 --> 01:06:31,700
You know...
721
01:06:31,700 --> 01:06:35,060
You're a fucking slow, spasticated cunt
722
01:06:35,060 --> 01:06:39,060
and you always fucking will be,
you fucking RETARD!
723
01:06:39,060 --> 01:06:42,140
And you're a...nasty person!
724
01:06:42,140 --> 01:06:46,460
You're a...nasty person.
You're a nasty person.
725
01:06:46,460 --> 01:06:49,660
Because, you know what?
I'm going to get ten cats!
726
01:06:49,660 --> 01:06:51,780
I'm going to get ten cats!
727
01:07:06,540 --> 01:07:09,260
HE PANTS I just...
728
01:07:11,940 --> 01:07:14,220
HE LAUGHS
729
01:07:28,540 --> 01:07:30,180
Are you OK, Aidan?
730
01:07:31,820 --> 01:07:33,460
I'm all right.
731
01:07:35,380 --> 01:07:37,180
I'll miss her though, you know?
732
01:07:40,220 --> 01:07:42,900
I liked her. I mean,
she wasn't really my girlfriend.
733
01:07:43,940 --> 01:07:47,620
Maybe she's a bit angry, but...
I hope she works things out.
734
01:07:47,620 --> 01:07:51,020
I'd like to see her again,
maybe when she calms down a bit.
735
01:07:52,260 --> 01:07:53,580
Maybe when I'm famous.
736
01:07:55,700 --> 01:07:58,780
All kinds of people come out
the woodwork when you're famous.
737
01:08:01,940 --> 01:08:03,780
Did you ever want to be famous, Tom?
738
01:08:05,260 --> 01:08:09,340
- Yeah...when I was five.
- What did you want to be?
739
01:08:10,860 --> 01:08:14,060
- I wanted to be an astronaut.
- Astronaut, did you?
740
01:08:17,180 --> 01:08:19,380
My father thought it was a silly idea.
741
01:08:22,180 --> 01:08:25,900
Architect, he said,
that's a proper job, good money.
742
01:08:27,940 --> 01:08:29,980
And that's what I ended up doing.
743
01:08:29,980 --> 01:08:34,540
Pretty similar things now,
Tom, you know? Astronaut, architect...
744
01:08:34,540 --> 01:08:36,140
both begins with "A".
745
01:08:40,340 --> 01:08:43,140
Are you sad, Tom,
that you never became an astronaut?
746
01:08:44,820 --> 01:08:46,340
I've been to space.
747
01:08:47,860 --> 01:08:49,100
Have you?
748
01:08:51,140 --> 01:08:52,500
I'm still up there.
749
01:08:58,980 --> 01:09:02,620
I miss my family though.
I hadn't planned on that.
750
01:09:06,180 --> 01:09:08,500
It's easy to disappear up there.
751
01:09:11,260 --> 01:09:12,780
The longer you're away...
752
01:09:14,740 --> 01:09:16,580
..the harder it is to come back.
753
01:09:48,740 --> 01:09:50,300
BUZZER RINGS
754
01:09:55,260 --> 01:09:57,780
- Your bush needs seeing to.
- I'm sorry?
755
01:09:57,780 --> 01:10:01,180
Your bush. It's massive.
It's like the biggest bush on the street.
756
01:10:01,190 --> 01:10:03,700
Looks like it could do with a trim,
will I cut it for you?
757
01:10:03,710 --> 01:10:05,600
- The hedge?
- Yes. 2.50 an hour, I'll make it
758
01:10:05,621 --> 01:10:07,540
nice and neat, get lots
of light into your room.
759
01:10:07,550 --> 01:10:10,060
No, that's fine. Thanks. Really, thank you.
760
01:10:10,060 --> 01:10:12,700
Seriously, seriously. You really want...
Take a look at...
761
01:10:12,710 --> 01:10:14,660
You want to do it yourself?
762
01:10:56,220 --> 01:10:57,500
Hey, Paul!
763
01:11:00,460 --> 01:11:04,060
- Where's she gone?! Where is she?
- Erm...Aidan, yeah.
764
01:11:04,060 --> 01:11:06,420
Where's she... You haven't
sold her, have you?
765
01:11:06,420 --> 01:11:07,860
I'm sorry.
766
01:11:07,860 --> 01:11:10,620
- But that was my drum kit! That was
my drum kit. - It's no big deal.
767
01:11:10,620 --> 01:11:12,380
It is a big deal. It is a big deal.
768
01:11:12,380 --> 01:11:14,580
- I can get another...
- No, no, it is a big deal!
769
01:11:14,580 --> 01:11:17,260
- Will you let me finish?
- But you were supposed to keep it for me!
770
01:11:17,260 --> 01:11:19,500
- You were supposed to keep it.
- I can get another one in.
771
01:11:19,500 --> 01:11:22,460
- They were my lucky drums! My lucky drums!
- Don't raise your voice to me.
772
01:11:22,460 --> 01:11:25,020
I WILL RAISE MY VOICE!
I WILL RAISE MY VOICE!
773
01:11:25,020 --> 01:11:29,300
HERE! LISTEN! THIS IS MY VOICE RAISED!
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?
774
01:11:33,700 --> 01:11:35,940
Aah! Rarrgh!
775
01:11:45,900 --> 01:11:46,940
Tom?
776
01:11:48,060 --> 01:11:49,100
Tom?
777
01:11:51,340 --> 01:11:53,460
You'll never believe what happened today.
778
01:12:43,900 --> 01:12:46,220
CAT MEOWS
779
01:13:05,500 --> 01:13:07,300
I bet you're hungry, aren't you?
780
01:13:09,100 --> 01:13:11,380
I suppose I'd better get something to eat.
781
01:13:17,060 --> 01:13:18,780
Oh, what am I talking to you for?
782
01:13:22,540 --> 01:13:25,060
You don't understand a word
I'm saying, do you?
783
01:13:47,300 --> 01:13:49,660
HE SOBS
784
01:14:05,700 --> 01:14:07,220
HE LAUGHS
785
01:14:10,900 --> 01:14:12,980
'It makes me feel very happy when I drum.
786
01:14:12,980 --> 01:14:15,940
'I feel free, it's...
I feel like I'm in heaven.'
787
01:14:15,940 --> 01:14:19,460
'Oh, well, I don't really
believe in heaven.'
788
01:14:19,460 --> 01:14:22,580
'Don't believe in heaven?
I feel sorry for you.'
789
01:14:30,580 --> 01:14:33,260
HE SHOUTS INCOHERENTLY
790
01:14:41,660 --> 01:14:43,540
'It's a mystery tour.
791
01:14:47,340 --> 01:14:49,580
'D'you like mysteries?'
792
01:15:15,060 --> 01:15:17,740
'I don't like to think of
people on their own.
793
01:15:19,180 --> 01:15:21,380
'People shouldn't be on their own.'
794
01:16:00,980 --> 01:16:04,940
# I'd love to be there with you but I'm not
795
01:16:07,940 --> 01:16:12,580
# Got put away on a thankless job
796
01:16:14,300 --> 01:16:18,940
# No-one should put their
loved ones last, I know
797
01:16:20,820 --> 01:16:27,180
# But I did and I still do because I can
798
01:16:29,380 --> 01:16:32,860
# And I-I, I'm coming home
799
01:16:36,220 --> 01:16:39,780
# And I-I, I'm coming home... #
800
01:16:45,460 --> 01:16:48,500
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
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