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One of us, one of us!
One of us, one of us!

One of us, one of us!
One of us, one of us!

One of us, one of us!

Long is the road and short is the life.

Jack Morton, welcome home.

Now, let's kick evil's ass!

Hey.

Shh.

- I thought we were going to fight evil?
- And we will.

When there's evil to fight.

Until then, will you all please
shut up so I can work on my essay?

What are you writing about?

The feminist metaphor of
Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.

Let me guess. The monster's a clitoris.

Yes.

So, what? We're just gonna sit
around? It's already been a week.

Jack, we can't go all "Justice League"

until our Spidey-senses tingle.

No. I told you once.

- You can't mix DC and Marvel.
- DC and Marvel. Yeah.

Shouldn't we at least go out
and look for evil doers?

You did not just say "evil doers."

Look, Jack, being a
Knight is a sacred duty.

Doody.

And I know you're anxious
to get in on the game,

but waiting is part of...

Finally!

We're not going to check that out?

It's probably just your friend
stealing another pizza.

Or maybe it's something
evil killing people?

- Guys, I made my decision.
- Oh, come on, Lame-ish.

Once around the campus.
What harm can it do?

Anything to shut him up.

Where you going?

Ah, is Little Jackie shy?

I'm an only child!

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You know, I've been thinking
about our place in the world,

and I see us as so lucky

that it makes me wonder, maybe
we should be giving back more.

Hell, we all want something.

Maybe it's control of a corporation,

maybe it's sex...

fame,

power.

Professional respect.

Or maybe it's just good
old-fashioned revenge.

The point is,

I think we can have it all
and serve the greater good

and ourselves,

because I have found the way.

The Vade Maecum Infernal.

With all due respect, Magus,

The Vade Maecum Infernal
is incredibly dangerous.

Every practitioner who's gone
looking for it has wound up...

disappeared,

dismembered...

dead.

If the Grand Magus seeks to
resurrect The Vade Maecum,

then a Temple Magus has no place
questioning his ambition.

I am merely suggesting
a little restraint.

Once you start down this road,
there is no turning back.

Then we move forward.

There are two sections left.

This order will find both
of them, and together

we will build a world
like you've never seen.

"My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings.

Look on my works, ye
mighty, and despair."

That's... that's you.
That's how you sound.

Renée.

Long time no see.

Not long enough.

Oh, Eddie.

Don't be coy.

You knew this day would come.

Or should I cut open one
of your wax figures...

and show you the future?

Necromancy is forbidden here.

You know the rules, we
wrote them because of you.

Now, get out.

Oh, lighten up, Sour Patch.
Where's your school spirit?

It's homecoming.

Go, Timber Wolves.

Grand Magus, we can't allow this...

creature to stay.

Surprise, surprise. Professor
Hemmings has an opinion.

You and your sister's
perverted ambitions

defiled The Order.

You nearly started a war.
We should have killed you

when we had the chance.

Oh.

I'd like to see you try.

Renée, that's enough.

What do you want?

Oh, sweetness.

Don't ask me what I want.

Ask what I'm prepared to give.

Lilith, you killed that girl!

Girl? She was barely human.

- Oh, look, they're fighting.
- Guys.

No. Stop.

There are ways to do this
without killing everyone.

What part of "werewolf"
don't you understand?

Honestly? I don't know why
we spell it like "were,"

but pronounce it like "wear."

What if that girl was possessed?
Maybe she was like Clarke.

Maybe we could have saved her.

Look, fine.

Sometimes we can wear out a spell

and not kill anyone and that's great.

But if it comes down to
me or some monster bitch

who ate a guy's face
off, I'm getting mine.

And how many innocent people have
died so you can get your rocks off?

- You're not in charge here.
- No, I am.

You, stop trying to call the shots.

You, stop trying to kill everybody.

I'm dying, Eddie.

Are you sure?

Oh, it's cancer.

Doctor certified.

You know, it turns out
death is a lot less fun

if I'm not the one causing it.

Well, you of all people know the
future isn't written in stone.

Yeah, well, it depends on whose
future you're looking at.

Then why are you here?

'Cause you're gonna save
my life, dumb-dumb.

I'm a little busy, Renée.

Ah, yes.

Hunting The Vade Maecum Infernal.

And you have two pieces left.

But the only ones who
know where they are

have been dead for a long...

long time.

What if you could talk to the dead?

What if you could simply...

ask where it all was...

and they had to tell you the truth?

We both know that's not possible.

Not unless you have...

the Necrophone.

It's practically a legend.

So am I.

I cure your cancer, you
give me the device.

You've always been a clever boy.

It's dangerous magic.

Unpredictable.

I already know you're going to say yes.

That's why I came.

Don't waste too much time.

You should go home to your cats,
Vera. They're missing you.

- I don't have cats.
- Oh, you will.

You're not really thinking
of helping her, are you?

We do an Elemental Transference,
like we did with Keith Richards.

It's high risk, but saving her life
puts us years ahead of schedule.

You'd be better off letting her die.

Since when do I take orders
from a Temple Magus?

We will do everything in
our power to save her.

- And if she dies, it's no great loss.
- Mm.

Try telling that to the blood-soaked
hellion she calls her sister.

You fail this spell

and that's exactly what you'll be doing.

Alyssa! Alyssa!

Hey. Oh!

Hey.

- So, listen.
- You get a new tutor?

What? Oh, yeah, Selena.

She's not as good as you.

She is if she can stop you from
performing unsanctioned magic.

Look, last week

we talked and then we kissed.

Mm-hm. I know. I was there.

- What's your point?
- It was great.

- Fun and...
- Fun?

- That's what you're gonna go with?
- No!

Look, my first crush was on
the girl robot in Wall-E,

so when I met you...

Oh, my God, Jack. Stop.

I almost died.

- Because the kiss was so good?
- No. Forget the kiss.

I'd rather not.

Remember how the Grand Magus
recruited me or that project?

Well, I helped him do this insane spell

and things got way out of hand.

- And he almost killed you?
- No. Edward saved my life.

Edward?

What does he have to do with us?

Jack...

he made me realize what I want.

And that's what?

- To be the Grand Magus.
- Alyssa, hey.

I'm glad I caught you. Morton, you
might as well hear this, too.

There's gonna be an
incantation this Friday,

and I happen to know
it's going to be huge.

It's not another destabilize the
Argentinian economy thing, is it?

No, no.

It's way bigger than that. Like,
life and death type shit.

I'd never even heard of
it before. It's called...

- an elemental something...
- An Elemental Transference?

Yeah. That's it. That's it.

What the hell is an
Elemental Transference?

That's what I asked. It's not in
any of the basic spell books.

Alyssa said it's super-rare.

But trust me, if Coventry
ordered it, it can't be good.

I've done it twice already.
Go to the bar.

I don't want to go. It's
too crowded. Come on.

I want to go on record that I
am completely opposed to this.

You want to go to the bar?

Yeah, no.

Come on.

Come on.

Anaplerosi.

Wait, why is there no ringing?

Maybe because he's a Knight.

- So cool.
- So not cool.

Look, we have to figure out what
this Elemental Transference is

and why they want it.

No. We need to stop them.

You can't just storm the
temple on this one.

The place is defended with a
fuck-ton of magic spells.

That's ten shit-tons. Impressive.

- I suppose you have a better idea?
- I'm behind enemy lines.

Okay, I can sabotage the
spell from the inside,

and stall for time while you
guys research what it does.

- Sounds good.
- Sounds stupid.

Guys.

We're supposed to be the
Knights of Saint Christopher,

not the Nerds of Saint Christopher.

- And what if he gets caught?
- They'll probably just kill him.

Wait, what?

Hey, this is your idea.

When he screws up and
dies, we go with my plan.

Deal.

Hey, watch the lines, bro.

Jack.

Kyle, watch this.

If that's mineral salt, it
goes to the reliquary for now.

All this for one incantation?

It's not for an incantation.

It's for the benefit
of the entire Order.

You mean for Coventry.

- Reliquary. Go.
- Yes, Medicum.

Watch where you're going, Morton.

Be careful.

We spill any of this Quicksilver,
we're gonna be in deep shit.

Now.

Oh.

Holy shit.

Okay.

Anaplerosi.

Oh, no!

Two days of preparation ruined.

And I'd like to know who's responsible.

Hm?

It was me.

The transference chains
were my responsibility.

I asked Kyle to take over while...

I checked on something else.

Ms. Drake.

This kind of failure is unacceptable.

You're banned from temple until
we've completed the transference.

Yes, Magus.

How's it going?

Slow.

Hey.

Accidents happen.

I don't need a pep talk.
It was my responsibility

and I screwed up.

I let them down.

I let him down.

Edward?

This spell is so important to him.

So, that's all?

I don't see how that's
any of your business.

Then... go talk to him.

- Explain the situation.
- No. This is my problem.

The Order helps those
who help themselves.

Is that what they do?

From where I'm sitting, it sounds
more like a pyramid scheme.

We do all the work,

and maybe someday we'll get someone
else to do all the work for us.

Oh, is that what you think? After
all your years of experience?

I'm not hungry.

Here.

Alyssa?

Look,

I really am sorry.

Why? It's not your fault.

Even if it was, there's
nothing you can do.

Can I help you?

- Are you all right?
- What?

Oh, yeah.

I'm looking for Edward
Coventry? Is this his house?

I hope so. Otherwise, I'm trespassing.

Maddox, let's go, buddy!

I know you.

I'm Jack Morton from
Belgrave University.

Met you at the...

the thing with the, the stuff?

- You killed the golem?
- Maddox, shh.

- Sick.
- All right.

Why don't you get inside?
I'll kick your ass later.

- No, you won't. Nice meeting you, Jack!
- Go on.

Well, this is highly
unusual, you being here.

It's about Alyssa Drake.

Mr. Morton.

You know, don't take this the wrong way,

but what are you doing at my house?

Look, the whole mess at the temple,

it wasn't Alyssa's fault.

I ruined your spell.

I mean, I didn't do it on
purpose. It was an accident.

Jack,

relax.

Nothing's ruined.

We're right on schedule.

The way Chancellor Stone reacted...

The Magus runs the temple
the way she likes.

As for the spell, look, it has to
succeed. It's important to me.

Then why kick Alyssa off the team?

She is the best you've got.
And she deserves to be there.

Jack.

Do you understand what we do?

We create order...

from chaos.

We have the power to change the world.

And yeah, we demand a lot of you.

And it's not always fair.

But The Order's not about fairness.

The Order...

it's about...

It's about rising to your potential.

Great advice.

The Order is about rising
to your potential.

I see a lot of myself in you, Jack.

We both grew up poor, we
both rose from nothing.

And best of all, we are both honest men.

It takes balls to do what you did.

But most importantly, you
did it for The Order.

I have an assignment for
you, if you're up to it.

Of course, whatever you need.

And Alyssa?

Don't worry, son.

I'll take care of Alyssa.

Rub all you want, it won't come out.

If I was trying to rub
one out, you'd know.

What are you doing?

Waiting for Morton to fuck up.

You?

Extra credit.

Anything interesting in this one?

- Depends. Can you read Sumerian?
- No.

Yes.

How do I know Sumerian?

Because Timber knows it.

Jack's right. There's a lot we
don't know about our powers.

You should read this.

It's the diary of a
Knight from the 1800s.

She talks about the hides, their powers.

You might learn something.

I know everything I need.

I remember the night you said the
oath. After Cassie, after sh...

You, me, and Randall got drunk.

We crashed out and you
spent all night down here

carving your name on that trunk.

I was so mad at you for defacing it.

But then I figured, Cassie's dead.

It's hers now.

Let her do what she wants.

That's what everyone does anyway.

I'm saying not all change is bad.

We never should have taken Jack in.

He doesn't need this.

Not like we do.

No one needs this, Lil.

I need this!

I don't even know who I was before this.

I gave my life to the cause.

And what the fuck am I supposed
to do if the cause won't take it?

Keep living.

- Where are you going?
- Out.

Get in, townie.

Subjects are ready.

What are you waiting for?
Open the back, load them up.

- Go!
- At once.

Let's go. Let's go, come on!

- Let's go, let's go.
- Bags on your head. Let's go.

Come on, bags on your head. Move!

Hurry up.

Get in there.

What is this?

I don't recall giving you
permission to ask questions.

It's okay, kid. Don't
sweat it. I'm an element.

An element?

What does that even mean?

It means everybody needs to get
in the van! Like now! Hurry up!

You heard him. Let's go!

- Are we kidnapping these people?
- What does it look like?

It looks like we're
kidnapping these pe...

They're volunteers! Okay?

So, just relax.

The transference only works with
willing participants anyways.

Yeah, it's fine.

You're paying my family a hundred grand.

Plus you're giving my
granddaughter a full scholarship.

- See?
- What are they volunteering for?

And why are we paying their
families and not them?

Because we're all gonna die, stupid.

All right. Let's go.

Congratulations, Morton. You're
about to pop your sacrifice cherry.

Ah.

- Try putting it in gear?
- Try shutting up, bag of bones.

Right, whatever you're doing,

- cut it out.
- It's not me.

Oh, shit. Kyle, cut the engine.

Kyle! Cut the fucking engine!

You want to explain yourself, asshole?

- This isn't what it looks like.
- Really?

'Cause it looks like you're driving
five people to their slaughter.

- I didn't know that!
- Now, you do.

- And we're gonna stop it.
- No.

The Grand Magus is after
something. I need to know what.

You can't stop it.

I won't let you.

You think I can't take you?

You think you can take Silverback?

Wake up!

Hang on, old man.

Gad, go fuck yourself!

You fucking hypocrite!

Okay, let's take a breath.

You have the nerve to give me shit
about eating some monster's heart,

but you turn around and drive a van
full of people to their death!

- You what?
- It's the Elemental Transference.

The spell needs willing
sacrifices. Five of them.

You're supposed to be sabotaging it.

- Not helping.
- I did sabotage it!

Okay? And we were up and
running again in twelve hours.

Dude... we're your "we."

So you failed.

- You admit it.
- No.

Look, I talked to Coventry.
I saw it in his eyes.

He's so desperate for this
spell, he'll do anything.

He'll risk the entire Order,
and we need to know why.

We know why.

This spell cures sickness by
passing it on to other people.

And they don't just die. The
disease has to kill them,

or else the whole thing
reverses. It's torture, Jack.

When did I learn Latin?

Look, no! If he's doing this
spell, he's doing it for a reason.

There'll be something
big at the end of it.

If we play it smart, I can figure
out what Coventry's after,

what his plan is,

- and then at the right moment...
- The moment is now!

- This is the reason we became Knights!
- What if we make it worse?

What if we save these five people,
and then he kills a thousand?

- I won't let that happen.
- He lit his hand on fire

as a parlor trick. You go at
him, he's gonna put you down.

And then none of this is gonna matter.

It's gonna matter to those five people.

Oh, whatever, "Kill-ith."

Okay, I love that nickname,
but this is still wrong.

Randall, you wanted an inside man.

Let me do my job as a Knight.

Hamish, no one can save those people,

but we can stop Edward
Coventry for good.

You see a chance to stop
this spell, you take it.

- I promise I will.
- Then go.

Oh, for God's sake, I
can smell your lust.

Get out of my sight, you dripping sheep.

Go.

This is your last chance to back out.

Now why would I ever do that?

Because if the spell
doesn't go as planned...

Oh, Eddie Munster, you really
do care about me, don't you?

I care about the deal.

Fuck the deal.

You know, you'd be a lot
happier without it.

This is my life's work.

Do you know why The Order
kicked me out, Eddie?

Because you and your sister
almost killed half the coven.

They kicked me out

because I saw the future.

I saw what The Order becomes.

I saw what you become.

And it scared the shit out of them.

Your ambition, it comes with a price.

And you know that.

Or do you really think your
wife's death was an accident?

Leave Sophie out of this.

I'm not blaming you, Eddie.

Just merely reminding you

that fate...

like everything else...

is negotiable.

Maybe you should think about quitting.

You first.

I've read your stupid book.

This Knight? She wore your hide.

She was a leader.

She listened to people, she
trusted their instincts.

- She believed in the cause.
- So do I.

We can't just sit here.

- I have to stop that spell.
- We can't fight The Order head on.

I get it, Hamish.

- You're old, and you want to live.
- I'm not old.

And duh!

But the price those people
are paying is on us.

Jack won't save them.

- He can't even save himself.
- Jack's one of us.

He'll do the right thing.

This is it, Hamish.

It's happening.

So, you need to decide. What
kind of leader are you?

The kind that knows what he's doing.

Now, stand down.

Hm.

Ex...

tenebris...

lux.

Did... did you...

Eddie...

that was a miracle.

You look good.

I look amazing and you know it.

I have some people ready
to take you home.

When you're ready.

I was hoping you might tuck me in.

Now, you know that's
not going to happen.

You said it yourself, Eddie,
the future's not set in stone.

It's all twisty and turny...

like your intestinal organs.

Once you're home, give
my people the device.

After all we've been through
and you still don't trust me?

Not on your life.

Jack said he would come back.

He fucked us. It's over.

No. We can still stop it.

How?

The book said the sacrifices
have to die from the disease.

And what happens if they don't?

We win.

Follow my lead.

About fucking time.

Would you kids like a drink?

Some hard drugs? An orgy?

Er...

We should probably get going.

How disappointing. The case...

for Edward, with my compliments.

- Is there anything we need to tell him?
- Oh, is there ever?

Okay, so...

I guess... Is that it? We just leave?

How are we supposed to
get home? She has the car.

Let's worry about that in the morning.

No, I don't wanna stay here.

No, we'll get a hotel room. My treat.

Together?

Relax. You can sleep on the couch.

_

_

_

_

_

_

_

Who's there?

Hey. What's up?

- Who are you? What are you doing here?
- Where are my friends?

Yeah, where are your...

Why would anyone agree to this?

Because they were already dying.

Weren't you, old man?

Fucking cirrhosis.

The spell said "willing sacrifices."

Who else would be willing to die?

Please.

It hurts.

Just kill me.

Just kill me.

That's why you sided with Jack.

Are you ready?

I'm not sure I can do this.

Call it mercy.

See? There's your couch,
and there's my bed.

Hm.

Those people...

that spell...

I just hope whatever is in that
case is worth all that suffering.

They were dying before
we ever touched them.

At least this way, their families
are taken care of and...

This case, Edward's plan,

we're going to help so many people.

We're going to change the world.

He told me what you did.

That you went to see him.

He said that you were chivalrous.

My knight.

I... I guess I'll...

see you in the morning.

Yeah.

Er...

I couldn't sleep.

Me neither.

Do you want to not sleep together?

Absolutely.

Oh, fuck!

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