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1
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:07,007
AMY:
I must say, Penny, this is great fun.
2
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:08,676
PENNY:
Glad you're enjoying yourself.
3
00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:10,970
AMY: Until I met you,
my trips to the bathroom...
4
00:00:11,137 --> 00:00:14,056
...had been entirely focused
on elimination.
5
00:00:14,724 --> 00:00:17,518
Now they have
a delightful social aspect.
6
00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:21,355
Amy, you must've been in the bathroom
with other women before.
7
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:22,940
(TOILET FLUSHES)
8
00:00:23,107 --> 00:00:24,150
AMY:
Of course I have.
9
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:26,277
They were strangers
and seemed off-put...
10
00:00:26,485 --> 00:00:29,572
...when I engaged
in friendly stall-to-stall chitchat.
11
00:00:30,281 --> 00:00:33,868
Some women don't like to get chummy
when their panties are down.
12
00:00:35,578 --> 00:00:37,079
You okay in there, bestie?
13
00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:38,330
PENNY:
I'm fine.
14
00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:41,125
The reason I ask: Many people
experience bladder shyness...
15
00:00:41,292 --> 00:00:43,085
...the inability to pass uri...
16
00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:45,379
PENNY:
Yeah, I said I'm fine. Stop talking to me.
17
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,631
She always this crabby
when she urinates?
18
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,884
We're really not that close.
19
00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:52,928
Screw it. I'll go later.
20
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,139
And I'll be right by your side.
21
00:00:57,933 --> 00:01:00,102
Did I tell you Priya invited
me and Howard...
22
00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:02,897
- ...to have dinner with her and Leonard?
- Oh, that's nice.
23
00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:04,774
No, it's not.
24
00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:06,275
It's a strategic maneuver.
25
00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:10,529
Leonard's new girlfriend is testing
Bernadette's loyalty to you and the group.
26
00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:12,907
That bitch is crafty.
27
00:01:13,157 --> 00:01:14,617
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ON SPEAKERS)
28
00:01:14,784 --> 00:01:16,660
- You think?
- Of course.
29
00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:19,205
How does the cheetah attack
a herd of wildebeests?
30
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,081
By going after its weakest member.
31
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,586
Well, what makes me
the weakest member?
32
00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:29,423
Your trusting nature
coupled with your teeny-tiny body.
33
00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:32,301
You wouldn't last a minute
on the Serengeti.
34
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,553
Okay, Amy, you're being silly.
35
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,972
I'm not concerned about
who hangs out with who.
36
00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:41,811
I don't have a problem with Leonard's
girlfriend who wears too much makeup.
37
00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:43,020
(GASPS)
38
00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:45,856
Oh, these are cute.
Of course, if I buy them...
39
00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:49,318
...I'll have to rent my womb out
to a gay couple.
40
00:01:51,487 --> 00:01:53,614
I'm gonna tell her we can't make it.
41
00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:55,324
Oh, no. You have to go.
42
00:01:55,491 --> 00:01:59,495
I don't understand.
I thought I was a teeny-tiny wildebeest.
43
00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:02,873
You are, with hair
that smells like strawberries.
44
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,834
We're gonna use that
to our advantage.
45
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,335
What are you talking about?
46
00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:07,962
By accepting the invitation...
47
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,756
...Bernadette becomes a double agent
in the enemy camp.
48
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,509
Ferret out Priya's tactics,
identify her weaknesses...
49
00:02:13,676 --> 00:02:15,845
...and feed her false information
such as:
50
00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:19,098
Leonard's no stranger
to back-alley cockfights.
51
00:02:20,224 --> 00:02:22,142
I don't know. I'm not a very good liar.
52
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:25,312
They kind of whup that out of you
in Catholic school.
53
00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:27,481
Don't worry. I'll teach you.
54
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:31,610
I did two years of Cub Scouts
before they found out I was a girl.
55
00:02:33,112 --> 00:02:34,572
Okay, I don't know you people.
56
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:36,156
I'm just an innocent woman...
57
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:39,159
...wondering if this shoe store
will take my Texaco card.
58
00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:43,372
How about concealing
a recording device...
59
00:02:43,539 --> 00:02:46,041
...in the cleavage
of your ample bosom?
60
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:49,670
I don't want anything
in my ample bosom.
61
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,882
Come on, Strawberries.
Take one for the team.
62
00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:19,909
- Okay, see you later.
- Good news.
63
00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:24,580
I finally have a handle on my idea
for three-person chess.
64
00:03:24,747 --> 00:03:27,333
That is good news. Bye.
65
00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:31,587
Do you know how I solved the
balanced center combat-area problem?
66
00:03:31,754 --> 00:03:32,796
Five words:
67
00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:36,759
transitional quadrilateral
to triangular tessellation.
68
00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:40,054
That... That's brilliant.
69
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,931
It's what I do.
70
00:03:42,932 --> 00:03:44,224
But wait, there's more.
71
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:47,353
I also invented two new chess pieces.
72
00:03:47,519 --> 00:03:51,690
The serpent and the old woman.
73
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,194
Okay, now I have to ask.
What do they do?
74
00:03:55,361 --> 00:03:58,322
When the serpent slithers
to an opposing player's piece...
75
00:03:58,489 --> 00:04:03,827
...that piece is considered poisoned
and will die after two more moves.
76
00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:07,331
All right.
77
00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:11,085
Unless it gets
to the old woman in time...
78
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,963
...in which case she
sucks out the poison...
79
00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:17,800
...turning her into the grand empress.
80
00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:25,182
A piece combining the power
of the knight, queen and serpent.
81
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:29,019
- Elegant.
- That's because it's simple.
82
00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:33,148
I look forward to playing with you.
83
00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:35,359
- And...?
- And what?
84
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:40,489
And a third person.
It's three-person chess.
85
00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:43,742
I must say, ever since you started
having regular intercourse...
86
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:46,495
...your mind has lost its keen edge.
87
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,790
You should reflect on that.
88
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:52,710
Excuse me, but Einstein had
a pretty busy sex life.
89
00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:56,046
Yes, and he never unified gravity
with the other forces.
90
00:04:57,297 --> 00:05:01,010
If he hadn't been such a hound dog,
we'd all have time machines.
91
00:05:02,094 --> 00:05:03,512
Got it. Bye.
92
00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:05,180
You know I'm right.
93
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:09,685
I think he's getting worse.
94
00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:13,522
Oh, my metatarsals are barking.
95
00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:21,405
- You okay?
- Yeah, yeah.
96
00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:23,532
I'm just breaking in some new shoes.
97
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:25,451
- Very pretty.
- Thank you.
98
00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:29,204
Did you know women wear high heels to
make the buttocks and breasts prominent?
99
00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:32,708
- Hadn't really thought about it.
- Look.
100
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:39,715
Uh, sure. Very, uh, prominent.
101
00:05:39,882 --> 00:05:43,343
Please, Leonard, don't leer,
you have a girlfriend.
102
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,553
Sorry.
103
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,889
Off to dinner with
Priya, Howard and Bernadette?
104
00:05:47,056 --> 00:05:50,225
- Yeah. How did you know?
- Heard it at the mall with my girlfriends...
105
00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:52,853
...because, you know,
that's kind of my life now.
106
00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:55,439
Have a good night.
107
00:05:55,606 --> 00:05:58,609
Try not to ogle my caboose
as I walk away.
108
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:09,078
- Hey, you.
- Hi.
109
00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:11,789
Hey, Raj. Will you be joining us
for dinner?
110
00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:14,500
The lonely guy
and the two happy couples?
111
00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:19,171
I'd rather get a prostate exam from a
leper who walks away with nine fingers.
112
00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:23,342
Oh, would you please stop
feeling sorry for yourself?
113
00:06:23,509 --> 00:06:26,678
I have to feel sorry for myself.
I'm the only one who cares.
114
00:06:26,845 --> 00:06:29,431
Just like I'm the only one
who'll have sex with me.
115
00:06:30,808 --> 00:06:32,434
Really? In front of your sister?
116
00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:36,355
We shared a room growing up.
This is not news to me.
117
00:06:37,106 --> 00:06:39,441
Excuse me. I'm gonna go
wander the streets alone.
118
00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:41,276
Invisible, unwanted and unloved...
119
00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:44,947
...a pathetic shadow
in a city with no heart.
120
00:06:47,491 --> 00:06:49,993
I forgot my windbreaker. It's chilly.
121
00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:56,834
I don't understand.
Is this a way to break in new shoes?
122
00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,963
No. Once these puppies touch the ground,
they're mine and I'll have to wear them...
123
00:07:01,130 --> 00:07:05,008
...walking up and down Hollywood
Boulevard in order to pay them off.
124
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:06,218
(PHONE CHIMES)
125
00:07:06,385 --> 00:07:09,012
Pretty, pretty, pretty.
126
00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:12,850
Good news:
the wildebeest is in the curry.
127
00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:14,977
The what?
128
00:07:15,144 --> 00:07:17,187
Bernadette is with Priya and Leonard.
129
00:07:17,813 --> 00:07:19,731
Message received.
130
00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:23,694
Commence operation
"Priya, Wouldn't Wanna Be You."
131
00:07:25,821 --> 00:07:27,030
Hey. Seriously?
132
00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:29,992
Didn't you get enough of this
cliquey crap in high school?
133
00:07:30,159 --> 00:07:32,995
I wish. A clique requires friends.
I didn't have any.
134
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:34,538
None?
135
00:07:34,705 --> 00:07:36,957
I used to take my lunch
to the maintenance room...
136
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:39,084
...and eat with the janitor.
137
00:07:39,251 --> 00:07:42,713
It was nice until his wife called me
a puta and made me stop.
138
00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:47,301
(PHONE CHIMES)
139
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:50,512
Hang on. It's the wildebeest.
140
00:07:51,263 --> 00:07:54,183
Priya just made a snide comment
about your acting career.
141
00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:55,601
What the hell did she say?
142
00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:59,521
She thinks it's cool you're following
your dream no matter what.
143
00:08:00,856 --> 00:08:03,025
That bitch!
144
00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:06,737
How do you wanna handle it?
145
00:08:06,904 --> 00:08:10,824
Um, okay. Tell Bernadette to tell Priya
that I'm on my way to Prague...
146
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,035
...to shoot a movie
with Angelina Jolie.
147
00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:15,120
Got it.
148
00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:17,497
Is it gonna be in 3-D?
149
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:19,917
What? I don't know. It doesn't matter.
150
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:23,462
I'm gonna say 3-D. That'll let her know
the studio has faith in it.
151
00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:27,883
You're kidding. 3-D?
152
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:31,970
That's what I hear.
153
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:34,181
Then the studio
must have real faith in it.
154
00:08:37,059 --> 00:08:38,518
Wonder why she didn't tell me.
155
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,938
You been spending time
with your ex-girlfriend?
156
00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:42,606
No.
157
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,276
Then why are you surprised
she didn't tell you?
158
00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:50,113
Well, it's not as much surprised as...
159
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:53,909
...uh, you know, uh, the other thing.
160
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:56,620
What other thing?
161
00:08:56,787 --> 00:08:58,247
Well, if you...
162
00:08:58,413 --> 00:08:59,873
(STAMMERING)
163
00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:04,586
I don't... Oh, what's the word
I'm looking for?
164
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:08,674
I'm not gonna help you.
This is hilarious. Heh.
165
00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:12,594
She's also dating an astronaut.
166
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:16,306
Wow, that's very impressive.
167
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:17,557
Yeah.
168
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,768
But Leonard's impressive too.
169
00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:26,149
Thank you.
170
00:09:27,109 --> 00:09:28,151
"Befuddled."
171
00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:31,530
The word I was looking for was
"befuddled."
172
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,956
Knight to old woman...
173
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:46,128
...six-and-a-third.
174
00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:55,220
Brilliant move.
175
00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:01,810
Thank you.
176
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:04,479
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
177
00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:07,899
Will the two of you excuse me?
178
00:10:13,155 --> 00:10:15,240
I need a hug.
179
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:18,076
Sorry, I have company.
180
00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:25,792
Come on, Sheldon, open the door.
181
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:29,171
I don't want to hug you.
182
00:10:29,338 --> 00:10:32,341
I don't want to hug you either.
I was just feeling blue.
183
00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:34,801
Blue, as in depressed.
184
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,845
Well, not so much depressed
as lonely.
185
00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:39,890
I don't know what color lonely is.
186
00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:42,351
- What?
- Red is angry...
187
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:43,810
...yellow is frightened...
188
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:47,022
...green is jealous
and blue is depressed.
189
00:10:47,189 --> 00:10:49,816
Perhaps we can assign
a color to lonely.
190
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:53,695
Nothing rhymes with orange.
It's probably lonely.
191
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:59,368
All right. Come in. You look
positively orange with loneliness.
192
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:04,373
No, I don't see that catching on at all.
193
00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:05,582
What are you doing?
194
00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:07,542
Working on my three-person
chess game.
195
00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:08,877
Oh, cool. Can I play?
196
00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:14,716
It's three-person chess.
197
00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:17,177
- Did you bring a friend?
- No.
198
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:20,514
Then as a mental exercise,
I invite you to figure out...
199
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:24,768
...why the two of us
can't play three-person chess.
200
00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:29,189
Can you believe this guy?
201
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:32,901
Social protocol does, however...
202
00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:35,946
...require me to bring you
a hot beverage in time of need.
203
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:38,740
- No, thank you. I'm fine.
- No, it's not optional.
204
00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:43,412
We're out of tea.
I hope you like bouillon.
205
00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:46,748
I guess you're probably wondering
what's got me down.
206
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:48,583
Actually, I was wondering...
207
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:51,378
...if I could add a third
new chess piece.
208
00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:54,423
How do you think people
would feel about Prince Joey...
209
00:11:54,589 --> 00:11:58,593
...the king's feeble-minded
but well-meaning cousin?
210
00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:02,931
I'm gonna be 30 years old
and I have no one in my life to love me.
211
00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:04,641
I can't even talk to a woman...
212
00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:07,269
...without having alcohol in my body.
213
00:12:07,436 --> 00:12:09,604
The fun thing about Prince Joey...
214
00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:12,441
...is every time he moves...
215
00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:15,235
...there's a 1-in-5 chance
he'll kill himself.
216
00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:18,989
Sheldon, listen to me.
217
00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:21,450
I have a big decision to make,
and I'm scared.
218
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:24,494
Yellow. Go ahead.
219
00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:27,289
A friend gave me
these new pills they're testing.
220
00:12:27,456 --> 00:12:30,417
He says it's the next big thing
for social anxiety disorder.
221
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,711
Fascinating. What's in it?
222
00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:36,298
I'm not sure. Some sort of beta-blocker
attached to a molecule...
223
00:12:36,465 --> 00:12:39,342
...extracted from the urine of cows.
224
00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:41,470
I like cows.
225
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:42,679
That's not the point.
226
00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:45,474
It was its own point. Go on.
227
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:46,766
I'm a scientist.
228
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:49,186
My ability to think
is my bread and butter.
229
00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:51,980
I'm afraid if I take this,
I might lose that special...
230
00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:53,190
...unique something...
231
00:12:53,356 --> 00:12:56,193
...that makes me so successful
in my field.
232
00:12:56,359 --> 00:12:58,820
Rajesh, I've had the privilege...
233
00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:01,823
...of working alongside you
for many years.
234
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:05,785
My recommendation is that
you gobble these up like Tic Tacs.
235
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,794
Okay, I'm still trying to work this out.
236
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:17,714
How did Penny meet an astronaut?
237
00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:22,135
I don't know. The regular way
people meet astronauts.
238
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:27,474
- Most of those guys live in Texas.
- Obviously, this one doesn't.
239
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:30,018
Okay.
240
00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:34,314
Leonard lives here. Priya's from India.
People meet, Howard. God!
241
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:37,567
- Fine.
- You've met lots of astronauts...
242
00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:39,819
...and I've never grilled you
about that.
243
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:42,656
I'd thank you to extend me
the same courtesy.
244
00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:47,494
I'm not grilling you,
I was just curious.
245
00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:50,747
I can't get over the fact
that she got a big movie part.
246
00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:53,750
Not that I care
what my ex-girlfriend's up to...
247
00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:56,002
...because I don't.
248
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:59,506
Maybe that's where
she met the astronaut, all right?
249
00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:03,009
I'm sorry. What would an astronaut
be doing working on a movie?
250
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,012
He's a consultant.
251
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,808
I thought the movie was about
18th-century Vienna.
252
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:11,518
He can't have a hobby?
253
00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:13,937
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
254
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,690
Excuse me, I have to pee.
255
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,067
Or is that implausible as well?
256
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:26,700
It's nice to have
another couple to hang with, isn't it?
257
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:29,244
(SIGHS)
258
00:14:29,411 --> 00:14:32,038
All right, guys, you have to go back.
I can't afford you.
259
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,666
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) "No, don't
send us away. We love you."
260
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:40,547
(IN NORMAL VOICE) I love you too,
but you cost more than my rent.
261
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:44,342
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
"But, Penny, you look so good in us."
262
00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:47,053
(IN NORMAL VOICE)
Damn it, the shoes are right.
263
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:50,098
Good golly, Penny,
your whimsy is boundless.
264
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:53,727
(PHONE RINGS)
265
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,271
What do you got for me, wildebeest?
266
00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:58,565
I think they're onto me.
267
00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:00,734
The story's starting to fall apart.
268
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,652
Calm down.
Everything's gonna be okay.
269
00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:05,071
We may have to kill her.
270
00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:08,408
Bernadette, I'm putting you
on speakerphone.
271
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,493
- Where are you now?
- In the bathroom.
272
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:14,122
Oh, look at this, another one
of our classic bathroom gabfests.
273
00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:16,916
What's the problem?
274
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:19,753
They're asking me
all sorts of questions I can't answer.
275
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,296
Just change the subject.
276
00:15:21,463 --> 00:15:23,632
I could get them back
to talking about Leonard...
277
00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:26,176
...going to India
to meet Priya's parents.
278
00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:27,594
What?
279
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:30,138
They said something
about going there this summer.
280
00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:32,807
- What, are they getting engaged?
- I don't know.
281
00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:37,103
I was too busy covering my heinie
on Amy's stupid astronaut story.
282
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,481
What astronaut story?
283
00:15:39,648 --> 00:15:42,025
You texted me,
"Penny's dating an astronaut."
284
00:15:42,192 --> 00:15:43,276
I texted "architect."
285
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:46,279
That's amusing.
Autocorrect must've changed it.
286
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:50,200
Yeah, it's hysterical.
287
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,286
Look, just forget about the astronaut.
288
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,997
Architect. Where would you
have met an astronaut?
289
00:15:57,916 --> 00:16:00,293
Just find out
what's up with this trip to India.
290
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,129
- I don't wanna do this anymore.
- Don't you quit on us.
291
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,339
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
292
00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:05,840
HOWARD:
Bernie, you okay?
293
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:08,718
It was an architect!
294
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,640
Thanks for coming, Sheldon.
You're a good friend.
295
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:17,352
I'm glad you think so.
That's what I strive to emulate.
296
00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:22,524
Okay, let's see if this drug works.
297
00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:31,324
Can I help you?
298
00:16:38,373 --> 00:16:40,834
Forgive me for staring,
but you're very beautiful.
299
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,050
Thank you.
300
00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:51,219
That's a great accent.
Where are you from?
301
00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:54,013
- India.
- Oh, cool. I've always wanted to go there.
302
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:57,183
It's a beautiful country. You'd love it.
May I join you?
303
00:16:57,767 --> 00:17:00,353
Uh, okay, sure. Why not?
304
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,188
My name is Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali.
305
00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:04,482
- This is my friend, Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
- Hi.
306
00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:08,611
There's no need to interact with me.
I'm just here to observe.
307
00:17:10,113 --> 00:17:11,197
What's he observing?
308
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:15,285
We're scientists. We observe everything.
Here, go buy yourself a scone.
309
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,704
All right.
310
00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:20,707
- And what is your name?
- Angela.
311
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:23,710
Oh, derived from the word "angel."
Appropriate.
312
00:17:24,169 --> 00:17:26,045
Ha. You're cute.
313
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:27,964
I'd like to buy a scone.
314
00:17:28,131 --> 00:17:30,467
Oh, I'm sorry, we're out.
We have muffins.
315
00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:31,801
They sound delicious...
316
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:35,305
...but this money is earmarked
for scones.
317
00:17:35,513 --> 00:17:38,641
ANGELA: What are you doing?
- Oh, just getting comfortable.
318
00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:42,812
So how long have
you lived in Los Angeles?
319
00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:44,981
- I...
- They were out of scones.
320
00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:47,233
I'm talking to someone.
You're being rude.
321
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,902
I'll bet you're an actress.
322
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:52,781
If not, you should be.
You have a very expressive face.
323
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:54,240
Oh, my God!
324
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:57,911
Wait, where are you going?
We were doing so well.
325
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:01,122
She never even got to see my penis.
326
00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:04,918
Ta-da!
327
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:14,302
Who wants some more coffee?
328
00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:15,929
- Thanks, yeah.
- Sure.
329
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,472
Let me help you.
330
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:22,268
Nice to see that the gals
are getting along.
331
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:26,481
"Gals"?
Who are you, Fred Flintstone?
332
00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:31,319
- This trip to India sounds fun.
- Yeah, I think it will be.
333
00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:34,823
Are you concerned your parents
might not approve of Leonard?
334
00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:37,158
A little. They're very old-fashioned.
335
00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:38,952
Well, I wouldn't worry about it.
336
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:42,455
It's not like you guys
are getting engaged, right?
337
00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:46,876
Oh, my God, no. We're not there yet.
338
00:18:47,085 --> 00:18:51,005
Not engaged. Very interesting.
I have to tinkle.
339
00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:53,007
You've been in there a lot. You okay?
340
00:18:53,174 --> 00:18:56,094
Yes. Are you writing a book?
341
00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:58,638
Why are you getting upset?
342
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:01,182
I'm not upset. Maybe you're upset.
343
00:19:02,225 --> 00:19:03,393
What's up with you?
344
00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:07,814
Bernadette?
345
00:19:10,024 --> 00:19:11,192
I can't do this anymore!
346
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:15,613
I'm a good girl.
I went to Catholic school.
347
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:21,703
Okay, well, it's getting late.
This was terrific.
348
00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:23,830
You win. Ha, ha.
349
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:25,623
Bernie?
350
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:31,546
I think the word
you're looking for is "befuddled."
351
00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:40,555
My catapult flings my bishop...
352
00:19:41,890 --> 00:19:45,226
...to Howard's queen's gorilla two.
353
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:52,442
Nice. Okay, rook to transporter pad.
354
00:19:52,901 --> 00:19:56,654
And he comes out at...
355
00:19:57,864 --> 00:20:00,700
...Leonard's queen's bishop
five-and-a-third.
356
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,911
Check on Leonard.
357
00:20:04,454 --> 00:20:06,039
Hang on.
358
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:09,751
When is my pawn allowed
to use the golf cart?
359
00:20:10,752 --> 00:20:12,003
When it's done charging.
360
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:13,922
Or you land on the time machine.
361
00:20:14,088 --> 00:20:16,007
Obviously.
362
00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:19,552
Oh, oh...
363
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:23,264
Beekeeper to king 12.
364
00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:28,102
I capture your pope
and release the swarm.
365
00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:31,773
Checkmate on Sheldon.
366
00:20:32,357 --> 00:20:35,777
I knew I should've given my pope
the jet pack.
367
00:20:36,778 --> 00:20:39,072
Hey, I've got winners.
28425
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