Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,794 --> 00:00:05,548
Ma, Ma, calm down. Listen to me.
I know it says click with the mouse...
2
00:00:05,715 --> 00:00:09,009
...but on a laptop,
the trackpad is the mouse.
3
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:14,306
Now, put your finger on it.
No, doesn't matter which finger.
4
00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:15,516
(SCOFFS)
5
00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,101
Good choice.
6
00:00:17,268 --> 00:00:20,062
Yeah, now move it down
to your e-mail icon.
7
00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:22,773
Yeah, the little envelope.
8
00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:26,444
What do you mean what does it
look like? It looks like an envelope!
9
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:29,572
Fine, you don't like the computer,
don't use it.
10
00:00:29,739 --> 00:00:33,409
Sure, we can exchange it
for a salad spinner. Goodbye.
11
00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:36,203
(SIGHS)
12
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:39,832
That's a Hanukkah present
you're regretting, huh?
13
00:00:39,999 --> 00:00:44,086
Yeah, I won't say that all senior citizens
who can't master technology...
14
00:00:44,253 --> 00:00:48,090
...should be publicly flogged, but if
we made an example of one or two...
15
00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:50,760
...it might give the others
incentive to try harder.
16
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,514
I had a great idea.
You know how we're always having...
17
00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:57,850
...to stop
and solve differential equations...
18
00:00:58,017 --> 00:01:01,562
...like when you do Fourier analysis
or using the Schrödinger equation?
19
00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:03,564
Howard doesn't. He's only an engineer.
20
00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:09,570
I think we could write a little app that
would use handwriting recognition...
21
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:12,239
...then run it through
a symbolic evaluation engine.
22
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:15,826
You just use your smartphone,
take a picture of the equation, and bam!
23
00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:20,581
You know what's a great app?
The one that makes fart noises.
24
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:29,799
You know, Leonard,
that's actually a valid idea. Very good.
25
00:01:30,633 --> 00:01:33,302
Can you say that
and not make it sound like I'm a cat...
26
00:01:33,469 --> 00:01:36,013
...who learned how to use the toilet?
27
00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:39,809
No. The two achievements
are equally surprising...
28
00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:41,310
...and equally admirable.
29
00:01:41,477 --> 00:01:44,855
Though if pressed,
I'd have to give a slight edge to the cat.
30
00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:48,692
I'll save you the pain and nervousness
of waiting for the answer.
31
00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:52,321
I agree to be part of your project.
Congratulations.
32
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,406
Ha, ha. Yay for me.
33
00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:57,827
What about you?
I can't promise anything...
34
00:01:57,993 --> 00:02:00,496
...but people do make money
off stuff like this.
35
00:02:00,663 --> 00:02:02,206
A few extra bucks would be nice.
36
00:02:02,373 --> 00:02:05,209
- Could move out of my mother's house.
- Where would you go?
37
00:02:05,376 --> 00:02:09,630
I always dreamed about building
a little place of my own over the garage.
38
00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:12,716
You know, if I made more money,
I could take time off...
39
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:15,052
...and give pretty girls
submarine rides.
40
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,639
What's that, some weird sex thing?
41
00:02:19,515 --> 00:02:22,309
No. You take girls underwater
in your private submarine...
42
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,144
...and you show them fish.
43
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,897
Why does everything
have to be dirty with you?
44
00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:31,569
I think we could work on this at night
and maybe in a couple of weeks...
45
00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:35,197
- ...we'll have ourselves an app to sell.
- Sounds like we're in business.
46
00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:39,368
- I think we should capture this moment.
- Yeah, let's do it.
47
00:02:40,703 --> 00:02:42,121
(FART NOISE)
48
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:48,168
Was that the best 99 cents I ever spent
or what?
49
00:03:12,735 --> 00:03:13,986
I checked the App Store.
50
00:03:14,153 --> 00:03:17,656
No one is doing handwriting recognition
differential equation solving.
51
00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:20,326
Oh, dear Lord, shush.
52
00:03:21,327 --> 00:03:24,705
- What?
- You have so few good ideas, Leonard.
53
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:29,001
And you're just gonna spill the beans
in front of an outsider?
54
00:03:34,673 --> 00:03:36,258
Who, me?
55
00:03:36,467 --> 00:03:40,387
Sheldon, I don't think Penny cares
about handwriting-recognition based...
56
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:43,349
(SINGSONG)
The stars at night are big and bright
57
00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:46,185
Deep in the heart of Texas
58
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:49,063
- She's not going to steal our idea.
- What idea?
59
00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:51,148
- We're gonna write...
- (SINGSONG) The Prairie sky
60
00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:52,441
Is wide and high
61
00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:53,859
Deep in the heart...
62
00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:57,112
- Okay, stop, stop.
- Of Texas
63
00:03:57,863 --> 00:04:01,075
Whatever your secret is,
I'm sure it's boring. So I'm not interested.
64
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:04,745
Well, it's not boring at all.
You see, in higher-order mathematics...
65
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:07,247
- ...there are certain sets of equations...
- Bored.
66
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:10,084
- Satisfied?
- (IN NORMAL VOICE) Hardly.
67
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:13,212
Consider this unlikely
but very plausible scenario.
68
00:04:13,379 --> 00:04:16,048
A young woman alone in the big city.
69
00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:18,384
Her ridiculous dream
of becoming an actress...
70
00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:20,636
...lies shattered about her.
71
00:04:20,803 --> 00:04:23,847
- Hey, wait a minute.
- Hang on, let's see where he's going.
72
00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:26,850
Then it hits her,
how is she going to survive?
73
00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:30,562
But she has no prospects,
no marketable skills.
74
00:04:30,729 --> 00:04:33,941
And then one day,
she meets a group of geniuses...
75
00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:35,901
...and their friend Howard.
76
00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:41,740
- Hey, I...
- Hang on, let's see where he's going.
77
00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:48,122
She befriends them, and then lies in wait
until they reveal a marketable idea...
78
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:51,250
...which she steals
and sells to the highest bidder.
79
00:04:51,417 --> 00:04:52,501
That is ridiculous.
80
00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:55,129
Is it? Let's see you come up
with an explanation...
81
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:58,465
...as to why this woman
hangs out with us all the time.
82
00:05:02,094 --> 00:05:04,179
I've already mooched dinner
off you guys.
83
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:08,434
- I don't need to listen to this.
- There's your answer, free food.
84
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:13,272
All right, I've taken the liberty
of drafting these workflow charts...
85
00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:16,275
...which outline our duties
and the path we will follow...
86
00:05:16,442 --> 00:05:19,361
...as we develop
our groundbreaking new app.
87
00:05:20,154 --> 00:05:22,740
Hey. Why am I in charge
of phone support?
88
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,077
Seems a bit racist.
89
00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:30,039
A customer service representative
with an Indian accent...
90
00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:32,875
...will create the impression
we're a vast enterprise...
91
00:05:33,042 --> 00:05:34,835
...that uses overseas call centers.
92
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:38,922
Oh, very clever. But still racist.
93
00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:42,926
Duly noted, Steve from Wichita.
94
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:46,638
Hey, why am I listed
as your executive assistant?
95
00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:50,392
Because the word secretary
has fallen into disrepute.
96
00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:52,644
Oh, FYI,
my mother's birthday is coming up.
97
00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:54,855
I'm going to need you
to pick up a present.
98
00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:58,484
Okay, we need to stop for a minute.
99
00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:01,487
We can talk during break.
We have one coming up at midnight.
100
00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:05,032
- And we'll need snacks.
- Sheldon, you're not in charge.
101
00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:07,534
- It's my idea. I'm in charge.
- Oh, of course, you are.
102
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:10,913
Look at the organizational chart.
You're clearly listed as founder.
103
00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:14,708
Yes, and you're listed
as chief executive officer...
104
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,836
...chief financial officer
and chief operating officer.
105
00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:21,006
You missed chief science officer,
chairman of the board and...
106
00:06:21,173 --> 00:06:24,426
- ...head of the Secret Santa committee.
- Okay.
107
00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:29,181
You need to get clear on this right now:
I am in charge of this project.
108
00:06:29,932 --> 00:06:33,685
Ooh, Leonard's going all alpha nerd
on Sheldon's ass.
109
00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:36,688
All right.
I'm not going to argue with you.
110
00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:39,108
Sheldon Cooper
is nothing if not a team player.
111
00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:42,736
Dr. Hofstadter, you have the con.
112
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:46,907
Thank you. I thought we might start...
113
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:50,244
- ...by talking about the user interface.
- Dear Lord, we're doomed.
114
00:06:52,788 --> 00:06:56,375
So this button here
will allow you to scan a new equation...
115
00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:58,377
...but over here, you can press this...
116
00:06:58,544 --> 00:07:01,255
...and just substitute
new values for the coefficients.
117
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,298
Ha, ha. Good one, boss.
118
00:07:06,969 --> 00:07:08,804
- What?
- This diagram.
119
00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:11,098
Well, I assume
you were opening with a joke.
120
00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:15,561
It certainly buoyed up this employee's
esprit de corps.
121
00:07:16,979 --> 00:07:19,064
It's not a joke. It's the real design.
122
00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:24,319
In that case, may I offer 27 little tweaks
to make it slightly less embarrassing?
123
00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:27,990
Sheldon, I think this will work.
Let's just try it my way.
124
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,409
Oh, I'm sorry.
I assumed that you wanted...
125
00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:32,619
...candid truth-telling
from your employees.
126
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:35,330
But I realize now,
you want the mindless nattering...
127
00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:37,916
...of complacent yes-men.
128
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,919
- Are you done?
- If you say so, boss.
129
00:07:43,422 --> 00:07:46,925
Right now, this button-press event
is triggering a dummy procedure call.
130
00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:49,136
How about this for the app name?
131
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:52,598
The Surprisingly Helpful
Equation-Linked Differential...
132
00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:55,434
...Optimized Numerator.
133
00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:58,812
So it spells "Sheldon."
134
00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:03,275
Does it? A happy accident.
135
00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:07,654
- We're not doing names now. Howard?
- Like I was saying...
136
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:10,949
...now, it's a dummy procedure.
Eventually, it will drop us in...
137
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:12,951
If we're not going to give it a name...
138
00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:15,871
...can we at least give it
a secret code designation?
139
00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:17,122
- No.
- Hear me out.
140
00:08:17,289 --> 00:08:19,541
The atomic bomb
was the Manhattan Project...
141
00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:22,377
...Windows 95
was originally Project Chicago.
142
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:26,882
For our app, I would humbly suggest
Project Nodlehs.
143
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:30,177
That's just Sheldon backwards.
144
00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:32,304
Another happy accident.
145
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,974
We're not wasting time
with names right now.
146
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:37,851
I see.
147
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:40,812
- Is that decision open for discussion?
- No.
148
00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:42,981
Is the decision to not discuss...
149
00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:44,816
- ...open for discussion?
- No.
150
00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:46,985
Again, right now...
151
00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:50,030
...it's a dummy procedure,
but eventually, it will drop us...
152
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:53,200
I call for a vote of no confidence
and a change in leadership.
153
00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:55,661
- Sheldon, stop it.
- When in the course of human events...
154
00:08:55,827 --> 00:08:58,163
...it becomes necessary
to dissolve the bonds...
155
00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:00,874
- ...that tie three scientists...
- Enough, Sheldon.
156
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,001
Let's get to the vote. Show of hands...
157
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:05,671
...all opposed to Leonard
and his reign of tyranny:
158
00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:12,344
- Okay, that's it, you're fired.
- Really?
159
00:09:12,511 --> 00:09:13,512
Why?
160
00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:17,933
Because you're impossible
to work with.
161
00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:19,518
I see.
162
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,565
And is that open for discussion?
163
00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:35,242
- What are you doing?
- Oh, good morning, shoemaker.
164
00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:39,579
I think you'll be pleased with what
the elves were up to last night.
165
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:41,581
But I fired you.
166
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,834
Oh, I know.
I'm now an independent contractor.
167
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,296
No, you are now nothing.
168
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:50,215
You have no connection
to this project whatsoever.
169
00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:52,259
But I made it better.
170
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:54,886
I don't want it better. I want it my way.
171
00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:57,431
Well, that speaks volumes, doesn't it?
172
00:09:58,557 --> 00:10:02,227
All right, I suppose
I'll go put on my bus pants.
173
00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:05,314
- What the hell are bus pants?
- They are pants one wears...
174
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,066
...over regular pants
when one sits on bus seats...
175
00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:10,569
...that other people
have previously sat on.
176
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:15,073
But, perhaps, from your lofty heights
atop the corporate ladder...
177
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:19,244
...you've lost touch with the struggles
of the common man.
178
00:10:19,411 --> 00:10:21,997
Look, I'm still happy
to drive you to work.
179
00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:25,959
Nothing's changed in that regard.
We're still roommates, still friends.
180
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,920
Except you identified me,
your best friend...
181
00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:30,422
...as a gangrenous limb...
182
00:10:30,589 --> 00:10:33,425
...that needed to be severed
from the organism and tossed.
183
00:10:33,592 --> 00:10:38,638
The desperate act of a little man
with a big Napoleon complex.
184
00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:43,769
You know what?
Go put on your bus pants.
185
00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:53,695
Mm, last night, I had a dream
we got so rich from the app...
186
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,490
...you and I bought
matching side-by-side mansions.
187
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:57,699
(CHUCKLES)
188
00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,493
But there was a secret tunnel...
189
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:02,704
...connecting your front yard
to my back yard.
190
00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:09,127
What do you think that means?
191
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:14,216
It means after we play handball,
I'm showering at home.
192
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:20,514
Oh, good morning,
friend Howard, friend Raj.
193
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,558
I see you gentlemen
are enjoying beverages.
194
00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:26,728
Perhaps, they would taste better
out of these.
195
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:32,567
- "World's Greatest Astrophysicist"?
- Don't thank me, you earned it.
196
00:11:34,069 --> 00:11:36,696
"Howard Wolowitz."
197
00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:41,284
Why not "World's Greatest Engineer"?
198
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:43,954
Oh, I'm sorry,
I typed that into the label maker...
199
00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:47,749
...but I just couldn't press enter.
Now down to business.
200
00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:50,419
What would it take
for you to abandon Leonard...
201
00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:52,421
...and join me in a rival company?
202
00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:54,589
Unless, of course, mugs are sufficient.
203
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:57,092
In which case, welcome aboard.
204
00:11:57,676 --> 00:12:01,972
- We're not quitting on Leonard.
- I understand. Your loyalty is admirable.
205
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:05,600
But what if I were to up the ante?
206
00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:07,769
What are you talking about?
207
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:12,941
Monogrammed key chains
with a built-in laser pointer.
208
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:17,612
No?
209
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:23,952
How about can cozies
emblazoned with our university mascot?
210
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,955
Go Beavers.
211
00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:31,084
I'll be back.
212
00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:34,963
Okay, let's try this one.
213
00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:39,342
Spherical Hankel function.
214
00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:41,178
Hold on.
215
00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:43,472
- That's it!
- Yes! Eureka!
216
00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:47,100
We agreed when it was "eureka" time,
we were all gonna say it together.
217
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:51,271
- Fine, let's say it together.
- No, the moment has passed.
218
00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:54,316
Greetings, gentlemen.
219
00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:56,193
How goes your little project?
220
00:12:56,359 --> 00:12:58,987
You mean Project Lenwoloppali?
221
00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:03,533
A combination of all your names.
Very clever.
222
00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:06,328
I assume "Koothranardowitz"
was taken.
223
00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:10,665
We're scanning equations
and getting good results.
224
00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:13,168
Oh, well, then by all means, carry on.
225
00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:15,504
I wouldn't wanna
impede your progress.
226
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:18,048
Howard, did you solve
the install time problem?
227
00:13:18,256 --> 00:13:20,800
No, it's tricky. I'm gonna try having it
pick up the libraries...
228
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:23,428
(PLAYING THEREMIN)
229
00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:30,393
What are you doing?
230
00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:34,022
Playing the theremin.
231
00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:39,027
No, I mean,
what are you doing with a theremin?
232
00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:41,530
Playing it.
233
00:13:42,531 --> 00:13:46,535
I've loved the theremin from the moment
I heard original Star Trek theme.
234
00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:51,373
And it's been killing me that
it just sits in my closet gathering dust.
235
00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:09,015
- Sheldon, we're working here.
- That's all right.
236
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,893
I can barely hear you
over my theremin.
237
00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:17,566
(THEREMIN STOPS PLAYING)
238
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:21,194
Well, that was a little uncalled for.
239
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:24,447
No, that was completely called for.
We need quiet.
240
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,783
So your project
is more important than mine?
241
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:30,453
Well, seeing as your project
is to sabotage my project, yes.
242
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,289
Don't beat around the bush, Leonard.
243
00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:35,417
If you don't want me here,
just say the word and I'll leave.
244
00:14:40,297 --> 00:14:42,340
Could have beaten
around the bush a little.
245
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:49,055
(SINGING)
Nobody knows
246
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:52,434
The trouble I've seen
247
00:14:52,601 --> 00:14:57,939
Nobody knows my sorrow
Oh
248
00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:05,322
What you doing,
trying to contact your home planet?
249
00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:07,907
I'm practicing my theremin.
250
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:09,117
Oh.
251
00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:12,120
(SINGING)
Nobody knows
252
00:15:12,287 --> 00:15:15,040
The trouble I've seen
253
00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:18,960
Glory hallelujah
254
00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:23,381
Something got you down
there, Sheldon?
255
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:25,800
Leonard kicked me out
of my own apartment.
256
00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:28,928
- And his app team.
- Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
257
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:33,391
He wouldn't drive me to work today.
I had to wear my bus pants.
258
00:15:33,642 --> 00:15:36,519
- Is that so?
- Yes, and they're still sticky.
259
00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:37,729
Aw.
260
00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:39,397
Probably gonna have
to throw them away.
261
00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:41,816
(PLAYING THEREMIN)
262
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,152
Hey, you don't need Leonard
and his app.
263
00:15:44,319 --> 00:15:46,029
You can make one with me.
264
00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:47,322
With you?
265
00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:48,657
(PLAYING THEREMIN)
266
00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:52,619
- Seriously, I have a great idea for one.
- Is it better than your idea...
267
00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:55,622
...to move to Los Angeles
and become a famous actress?
268
00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,876
When you see someone
wearing shoes you like...
269
00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:02,879
...you snap a picture
and the app goes on the Internet...
270
00:16:03,046 --> 00:16:06,883
- ...to find out where you can buy them.
- That's your app idea?
271
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:09,928
- You don't like it?
- I didn't say that. But no, I don't.
272
00:16:11,513 --> 00:16:14,057
- Why not?
- Oh, Penny, where do I begin?
273
00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:16,017
The simple-mindedness of your idea...
274
00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:20,063
...is exceeded only by
its crass consumerism and banality.
275
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:23,650
And Leonard didn't wanna
work with you, imagine that.
276
00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:25,193
I know, it's baffling.
277
00:16:27,404 --> 00:16:30,532
(SINGING)
Nobody knows
278
00:16:30,699 --> 00:16:33,785
The trouble I've seen
279
00:16:33,952 --> 00:16:37,205
Sheldon, I'm gonna make some cocoa.
Do you want some?
280
00:16:37,372 --> 00:16:39,749
- Do you make it with milk or water?
- Milk.
281
00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:42,669
- Real cocoa?
- That's what it says on the packet.
282
00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:45,839
- You have those little marshmallows?
- No, sorry.
283
00:16:46,548 --> 00:16:49,342
- Well, I suppose it's appropriate.
- What does that mean?
284
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:52,887
A disappointing drink
for a disappointing day.
285
00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:58,268
Look. Twenty people
from the university...
286
00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:00,729
...have already signed up
for our private beta.
287
00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:05,024
I tell you, the Lenwoloppali Differential
Equation Scanner meets a real need.
288
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:06,234
We've got a hit.
289
00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:08,445
Ha, ha, what do you think
we should sell it for?
290
00:17:08,611 --> 00:17:10,780
Based on the fact that
our potential market...
291
00:17:10,989 --> 00:17:13,742
...is about 70 or 80 guys,
and you want a submarine...
292
00:17:13,908 --> 00:17:16,077
...I'd say about a million dollars a pop.
293
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:19,414
What if we put out
a light version for half a million?
294
00:17:19,581 --> 00:17:20,915
Get the word of mouth going.
295
00:17:21,124 --> 00:17:22,250
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
296
00:17:22,417 --> 00:17:23,960
Hi, I'm sorry to bother you guys...
297
00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:26,212
...but you've gotta
come take Sheldon back.
298
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:29,549
- What's he doing in your apartment?
- He was moping in the lobby...
299
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,718
...so I invited him over. I regret it.
300
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:34,387
Why do you regret...?
Never mind, stupid question.
301
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,598
Can't you just let him play
until bedtime?
302
00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:40,643
We're not playing. This is real work.
303
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:42,937
We're gonna be hundredaires.
304
00:17:43,605 --> 00:17:46,941
Okay, what if I got him to apologize
and promise to behave?
305
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:52,655
Then I guess we would let him
back on the app team.
306
00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:57,952
While we're doing that, you could take
an aerial tour of L.A. on your flying pig.
307
00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:00,789
Okay, wait right here.
308
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:03,583
I'll tell you one thing...
309
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:07,587
...if I get rich, that's the kind of girl
I wanna take on a submarine ride.
310
00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:11,633
And yes,
that time I meant it to be dirty.
311
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,470
Really?
312
00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:16,971
Leonard wants me back?
313
00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:20,308
Oh, yes.
He says they are lost without you.
314
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:24,020
Well, we sure saw that coming.
315
00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:26,815
- That's right.
- You know what I'm going to do?
316
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:30,193
I am going to sit here
and just let them stew.
317
00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:33,905
(PLAYING THEREMIN)
318
00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:36,449
No, no, no.
You know, they have suffered enough.
319
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:39,702
You know,
everybody's suffered enough.
320
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:40,995
The thing is...
321
00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:44,499
...you're gonna have to offer him
a face-saving way out of this.
322
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,876
- How?
- Say you're sorry.
323
00:18:47,085 --> 00:18:52,006
Oh, no. Mrs. Mary Cooper
didn't raise her no liars.
324
00:18:53,007 --> 00:18:56,886
Okay. Um, how about this? You know
how you're always trying to learn...
325
00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:58,221
...about sarcasm?
326
00:18:58,388 --> 00:18:59,973
- No.
- No?
327
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,391
I was being sarcastic.
328
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:04,352
Oh, good for you.
329
00:19:04,519 --> 00:19:07,146
All you have to do
is say you're sorry to Leonard...
330
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,065
...but say it sarcastically.
331
00:19:09,232 --> 00:19:11,192
Of course.
332
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:13,820
He will hear it
as an attempt to mend fences...
333
00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:18,366
...as opposed to the withering
condemnation you and I know it to be.
334
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,870
Yeah, that was my plan.
All right. Come on. Let's go.
335
00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:25,540
By the way,
thank you for the delicious cocoa.
336
00:19:25,707 --> 00:19:28,167
- Oh, you're welcome.
- Oh, I'm getting good at this.
337
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:35,049
Okay, now that you're back on the team
let's get you caught up.
338
00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:38,553
Before you begin, let me say again
how deeply sorry I am...
339
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,221
...for my earlier behavior...
340
00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:44,767
...and how much I respect and admire
your leadership.
341
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,937
Thank you.
342
00:19:52,066 --> 00:19:53,568
So as you can see...
343
00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:56,362
...not only can you store
your favorite equations...
344
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:58,781
...but you can forward them
to your friends...
345
00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:02,452
...or post them on Facebook
right from the app.
346
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:05,038
- Well, I must say, I am impressed.
- Thanks.
347
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:08,541
- You all have put in a lot of hard work.
- We have.
348
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:12,128
You have taken the most important step
on the road to success:
349
00:20:12,295 --> 00:20:15,924
Learning what not to do.
Now, let's start fresh.
350
00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:19,218
Howard, we're going to need some tea.
351
00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:27,310
Okay, these are Uggs.
352
00:20:27,477 --> 00:20:29,979
These are Crocs.
353
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:33,942
- These are knockoff Manolo Blahniks.
- Bored.
354
00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:36,736
You said it yourself,
we have to create a database...
355
00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,863
...before you can write an algo-thingy.
356
00:20:39,197 --> 00:20:42,742
Algorithm. You see, Penny,
Alan Turing defines an algorithm...
357
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:44,577
Bored.
358
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:47,080
Okay. These are Steve Maddens.
359
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:49,248
These are Nine West.
360
00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:52,794
These are Target.
Oh, but don't they look like Chanel?
361
00:20:52,961 --> 00:20:56,130
- These are Michael Kors.
- (SINGING) Nobody knows
362
00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:58,257
- The trouble I've seen
- These are Roxy.
363
00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:00,259
- Nobody knows
- These are Seychelles.
364
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,261
- My sorrow
- Oh, these are Betsy Johnson.
365
00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:03,429
They're so cute.
30372
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