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1
00:00:02,628 --> 00:00:03,963
What you doing there?
2
00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:06,841
Working on a new plan
to catch the roadrunner? Heh, heh.
3
00:00:07,466 --> 00:00:11,345
The humorous implication
being that I am Wile E. Coyote?
4
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,014
Yes.
5
00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:16,684
And this is a schematic
for a bird-trapping device...
6
00:00:16,851 --> 00:00:20,563
...that will ultimately backfire
and cause me physical injury?
7
00:00:21,897 --> 00:00:23,607
Yes.
8
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,110
(FAKES LAUGH)
9
00:00:26,777 --> 00:00:31,949
Okay, what I'm doing here is trying
to determine when I'm going to die.
10
00:00:32,158 --> 00:00:35,369
Mm-hm. A lot of people
are working on that research.
11
00:00:36,579 --> 00:00:37,830
So, what is all this?
12
00:00:37,997 --> 00:00:42,835
My family history factoring in longevity,
propensity for disease, et cetera.
13
00:00:43,002 --> 00:00:44,462
Interesting.
14
00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:46,797
Cause of death for Uncle Carl
was KBB?
15
00:00:46,964 --> 00:00:50,301
- What's KBB?
- Killed by badger.
16
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,554
How's that?
17
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,055
It was Thanksgiving.
18
00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:59,018
Uncle Carl said, "I think there's a badger
living in our chimney.
19
00:00:59,185 --> 00:01:01,270
Hand me that flashlight."
20
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:05,649
Those were the last words
he ever spoke to us.
21
00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:10,070
I don't think you need to worry
about death by badgers being hereditary.
22
00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:11,363
Not true.
23
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:14,158
The fight or flight instinct
is coded genetically.
24
00:01:14,325 --> 00:01:18,078
Instead of fleeing,
he chose to fight barehanded...
25
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:20,915
...against a brawny member
of the weasel family.
26
00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:23,584
Who's to say
that I don't share that flawed DNA?
27
00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:26,545
Hmm, we can always get a badger
and find out.
28
00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:29,465
(FAKES LAUGH)
29
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:34,845
But seriously, even if I disregard
the Uncle Carl factor...
30
00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:37,431
...at best, I have 60 years left.
31
00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:39,058
That long, huh?
32
00:01:39,225 --> 00:01:41,644
Sixty only takes me to here.
33
00:01:41,811 --> 00:01:43,896
I need to get to here.
34
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,356
What's there?
35
00:01:45,523 --> 00:01:48,275
The earliest estimate
of the singularity.
36
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:51,737
When man will be able to transfer
his consciousness into machines...
37
00:01:51,904 --> 00:01:53,531
...and achieve immortality.
38
00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:56,659
So you're upset about missing out...
39
00:01:56,826 --> 00:01:59,620
...on becoming some sort
of freakish self-aware robot?
40
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,498
By this much.
41
00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:05,960
Tough break. You want eggs?
42
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:09,922
You don't get it, Leonard.
I'm going to miss so much.
43
00:02:10,089 --> 00:02:15,261
Unified field theory,
cold fusion, the dogapus.
44
00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:17,471
What's a dogapus?
45
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:20,558
The hybrid dog and octopus.
46
00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,434
Man's underwater best friend.
47
00:02:25,104 --> 00:02:27,565
- Is somebody working on that?
- I was going to.
48
00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:31,193
I planned on giving it to myself
on my 300th birthday.
49
00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:33,195
Wait, you hate dogs.
50
00:02:33,404 --> 00:02:36,574
A dogapus
can play fetch with eight balls.
51
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:38,033
No one can hate that.
52
00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:05,060
What do we owe you?
53
00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:07,813
It came to 28.17.
Let's say six bucks a piece.
54
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:09,565
Here you go.
55
00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:11,692
Thank you.
56
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,364
- What?
- Uh...
57
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,992
- Never mind. I got it.
- Oh, you wanted me to pay.
58
00:03:20,159 --> 00:03:21,577
- It's no big deal.
- Right.
59
00:03:21,744 --> 00:03:24,413
We're not going out anymore,
I should pay for myself.
60
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,874
(BOTH GIGGLE)
61
00:03:27,917 --> 00:03:29,335
What?
62
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:33,714
He said if he had woman parts,
he'd eat for free the rest of his life.
63
00:03:35,341 --> 00:03:37,468
Yeah, but you wouldn't be able
to talk to yourself.
64
00:03:37,635 --> 00:03:39,887
(LEONARD LAUGHING)
65
00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:42,222
I'm a little low on cash.
66
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:44,266
- How much you got?
- Nothing.
67
00:03:44,475 --> 00:03:46,894
- How can you walk around with no money?
- I'm cute, I get by.
68
00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:50,522
It's okay, you can owe me.
Sheldon, six bucks.
69
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:54,234
Oh, no, thank you.
I'm not eating pizza tonight.
70
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,403
But it's Thursday.
Thursday's pizza night.
71
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:57,613
SHELDON:
Not for me.
72
00:03:57,780 --> 00:04:01,200
Thursday is now
cruciferous vegetable night.
73
00:04:01,367 --> 00:04:04,453
Tonight's selection, Brussels sprouts.
74
00:04:04,662 --> 00:04:08,415
Really? You're changing
the Sheldonian calendar?
75
00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:10,793
It's a small price to pay.
76
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,461
- For what?
- No, don't ask.
77
00:04:12,628 --> 00:04:14,004
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
78
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:17,466
To live long enough to fuse
my consciousness with cybernetics...
79
00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:18,968
...I need to change my diet.
80
00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:22,137
- Wait, cybernetics is robot stuff, right?
- Correct.
81
00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:24,640
You wanna turn yourself
into some sort of robot?
82
00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:26,850
Essentially, yes.
83
00:04:27,059 --> 00:04:29,603
Okay, here's my question:
Didn't you already do that?
84
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:32,356
LEONARD:
Heh, heh, heh.
85
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,608
Flattering, but sadly, no.
86
00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:37,903
I'm also planning
to begin an exercise regimen...
87
00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:42,032
...designed to strengthen my
cardiovascular system, a.k.a., jogging.
88
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:44,284
Wait, honey,
have you ever run before?
89
00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:49,623
Certainly. I've run from bullies,
dogs, angry chickens...
90
00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:53,085
...and one particularly persistent
PE teacher...
91
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:56,505
...determined to bend me over
and give me a scoliosis test.
92
00:04:59,717 --> 00:05:00,759
(WHISPERS INAUDIBLY)
93
00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:02,261
You're right. Penny jogs.
94
00:05:02,428 --> 00:05:05,556
- Maybe you guys can run together.
- That's an excellent idea.
95
00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:08,976
Yeah, if we chat...
96
00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:11,687
...it will create the illusion
of time going faster.
97
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,522
No, it won't.
98
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,984
Um, hey, how does he know I jog?
99
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:20,904
Oh, he watches you from his car
with high-powered binoculars.
100
00:05:21,405 --> 00:05:23,032
Oh, my God, that is so creepy.
101
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,159
I know.
102
00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:28,078
(WHISPERS INAUDIBLY)
103
00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:30,330
And he says he's not gonna stop.
104
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:32,916
(WHISPERS INAUDIBLY)
105
00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:36,712
Yeah, well, then see a shrink
and figure out how to talk to women.
106
00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:40,841
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
107
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,176
(SHELDON GROANS)
108
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:43,510
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
109
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,013
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
110
00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,848
(SHELDON GROANING)
111
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,726
What the hell?
112
00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:54,688
What's the matter?
113
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:59,401
I have pain radiating from my navel
to my lower right abdomen.
114
00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:01,487
I'm nauseated and feverish.
115
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,406
I believe I may have cholera.
116
00:06:04,615 --> 00:06:06,658
There's no cholera in Pasadena.
117
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:09,787
Just like last summer
when there was no malaria in Pasadena.
118
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:13,499
Well, if it's not cholera,
then based on a quick Internet search...
119
00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:16,919
...the other explanations
in decreasing order of likelihood...
120
00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:20,756
...are Hirschsprung's disease,
botulism, a 30-foot tapeworm...
121
00:06:20,923 --> 00:06:24,718
...or accidental ingestion
of chrysanthemum blossoms.
122
00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:28,555
When would you have accidentally eaten
chrysanthemum blossoms?
123
00:06:28,764 --> 00:06:31,767
It's part of an unlikely scenario
that involves sleepwalking...
124
00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:35,312
...in a 24-hour flower mart
with a less than vigilant proprietor.
125
00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:37,523
Oh, Lord, my belly.
126
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,316
Ever had your appendix out?
127
00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:43,070
I haven't. I've been meaning to,
but who has the time?
128
00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:45,697
Let's get you to the hospital.
129
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,825
So this is how it ends.
130
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:49,368
(GROANING)
131
00:06:49,535 --> 00:06:51,203
With cruel irony.
132
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,956
Just as I make the commitment
to preserving my body...
133
00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:57,751
...I am betrayed by my appendix,
a vestigial organ.
134
00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:01,255
Do you know the original purpose
of the appendix, Leonard?
135
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,048
- No.
- I do.
136
00:07:03,215 --> 00:07:06,051
And yet I'm doomed while you live on.
137
00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:10,055
Funny how things work out, isn't it?
138
00:07:10,222 --> 00:07:13,809
SHELDON:
Oh, Lord, I think it's about to burst.
139
00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:17,062
(SHELDON FARTS)
140
00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:21,733
On the other hand,
it might have been the Brussels sprouts.
141
00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:26,321
- Good night.
- Good night.
142
00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:27,531
(DOOR CLOSES)
143
00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:30,951
Appendicitis. What a nervous Nelly.
144
00:07:34,163 --> 00:07:37,124
Penny. Penny. Penny.
145
00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:40,043
PENNY:
Coming, coming.
146
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:42,004
Hey, nice knees.
147
00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:45,257
- Thank you. They're my mother's.
- Oh.
148
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,969
And the Flash shirt is what?
Because you're gonna run fast?
149
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:51,430
No.
The Flash shirt is because it's Friday.
150
00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:54,308
But it's nice when things work out.
151
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,226
- Heart rate monitor?
- Don't have one.
152
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,103
- Your pedometer?
- Don't have one.
153
00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:01,148
- Telematics connected to an iPod?
- Uh, nope.
154
00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:02,399
What do you do?
155
00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:05,861
You just go out there
and gambol about like a bunny?
156
00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:09,990
No, I just run till I'm hungry
and then I stop for a bear claw.
157
00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:17,873
- Why are you doing that?
- It's good to stretch before you run.
158
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:19,124
All right.
159
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:21,335
Let's start with a toe touch.
160
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,135
Okay, you do it.
161
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,554
I am doing it.
162
00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:35,140
Oh, wow. Good job.
163
00:08:35,307 --> 00:08:38,518
Okay, um, can you do this?
164
00:08:39,895 --> 00:08:41,772
We'll never know.
165
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,066
Okay, let's just, uh, warm up on the run.
166
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:45,317
- Okay.
- Okay, let's go.
167
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,819
Yeah,
I've been reading up on biomechanics.
168
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,571
I think you'll be surprised at my...
169
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:51,114
(SHELDON & PENNY SCREAMING)
170
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:52,783
(THUMPING WHILE FALLING)
171
00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:55,077
PENNY: Oh, my God, are you okay?
SHELDON: I think so.
172
00:08:55,244 --> 00:08:57,371
PENNY: Oh, let me help you up.
SHELDON: Thank you.
173
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:58,956
(SHELDON FARTS)
174
00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:02,668
PENNY:
Oh, Sheldon.
175
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,628
SHELDON:
If it makes you feel any better...
176
00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:07,673
...Thursday is no longer
cruciferous vegetable night.
177
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,134
Here's my chicken curry.
178
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,470
- Howard, your shrimp biryani.
- Thank you, sir.
179
00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:15,681
- Palak paneer, that's Penny.
- Thanks.
180
00:09:15,847 --> 00:09:17,516
And for Rajesh Koothrappali...
181
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,685
...from whose homeland
these originate...
182
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,853
...one large order
of Chicken McNuggets.
183
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,734
- Hey, what's my share?
- Uh, twelve bucks.
184
00:09:27,943 --> 00:09:30,195
- Can I get you after Friday?
- Sure.
185
00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:31,947
What am I up to now?
186
00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:34,616
Well, okay, uh,
with the Indian food, the pizza...
187
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:38,870
...the Thai food, the tank of gas,
the frozen yogurt and your rent...
188
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:40,455
...uh...
189
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:42,958
...a little over $1400.
190
00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:46,420
(BOTH GIGGLE)
191
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,631
- What now?
- He's just expressing his admiration.
192
00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:51,842
You don't even have to put out
to get free stuff.
193
00:09:52,009 --> 00:09:53,051
(BOTH GIGGLING)
194
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,932
It's not free. I'm gonna pay him back.
195
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,183
(BOTH GIGGLE)
196
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:02,644
Shut up!
197
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,605
Sheldon, are you gonna join us?
198
00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:07,524
SHELDON:
Coming.
199
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,832
Greetings, friends.
200
00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:26,835
Greetings, whatever the hell you are.
201
00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:30,255
I am a mobile virtual presence device.
202
00:10:30,589 --> 00:10:33,091
Recent events
have demonstrated to me...
203
00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:37,804
...that my body is too fragile
to endure the vicissitudes of the world.
204
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:41,933
Until such time as I am able
to transfer my consciousness...
205
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:45,854
...I shall remain in a secure location
and interact with the world...
206
00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:47,689
...in this manner.
207
00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:48,982
(WHISPERS INAUDIBLY)
208
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:52,444
Really? That's your question?
When did he put a ramp in?
209
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,702
You're in my spot.
210
00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:15,967
This may seem a little odd at first...
211
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,303
...but over time,
you'll grow accustomed...
212
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:21,848
...to dealing with me
in this configuration.
213
00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:24,726
Yeah, to be honest,
I don't see much difference.
214
00:11:24,935 --> 00:11:27,979
Thank you.
That's what I was going for.
215
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:32,859
Now, Leonard,
tomorrow when we go to work...
216
00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:36,613
...you'll need to allow some extra time
to get me down the stairs.
217
00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:41,243
For your convenience,
I disassemble into four pieces.
218
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:43,578
This is ridiculous.
I'm coming to talk to you.
219
00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:45,664
You don't know where I am.
220
00:11:46,832 --> 00:11:49,584
My physical body
is safely ensconced...
221
00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:52,504
...in a secure, undisclosed location.
222
00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:54,131
You're in your bedroom.
223
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:55,841
No, I'm not.
224
00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:58,885
I can hear your voice
coming from your bedroom.
225
00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:02,222
No, you can't.
226
00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:07,018
Wait. Come back.
227
00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:08,228
Halt.
228
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:11,273
Authorized personnel only.
229
00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:17,154
So either one of you weirdoes wanna
buy my underwear? Only 1400 bucks.
230
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,656
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
231
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,827
Sheldon, this is ridiculous.
232
00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:25,495
I'm behind you.
233
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:28,540
Please look at me
when you're talking to me.
234
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,417
I am looking at you.
235
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:34,379
No, you're not.
Pay no attention to that man in the bed.
236
00:12:34,546 --> 00:12:36,798
You cannot exist
as a virtual presence.
237
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:38,633
Not here and certainly not at work.
238
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,635
Oh, good God.
239
00:12:40,886 --> 00:12:45,015
At my age, do you know
how I'm statistically most likely to die?
240
00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:47,267
At the hands of your roommate?
241
00:12:47,726 --> 00:12:48,894
An accident.
242
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,313
Well,
that's how I'm gonna make it look.
243
00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:54,816
Until I can transfer my intellect
to a more durable container...
244
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:57,986
...my body will remain safely ensconced
in my bed.
245
00:12:58,195 --> 00:13:00,113
Fine, but don't expect my help.
246
00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:02,657
You have to help.
It's in the roommate agreement.
247
00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:03,992
No, it's not.
248
00:13:06,578 --> 00:13:08,872
Section 74-C.
249
00:13:09,039 --> 00:13:11,875
The various obligations and duties
of the parties...
250
00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:14,461
...in the event
one of them becomes a robot.
251
00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:18,006
I'll be damned.
252
00:13:29,059 --> 00:13:32,395
- This is delightful.
- Uh-huh.
253
00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:36,775
It's much easier to enjoy
the picturesque route we travel to work...
254
00:13:36,942 --> 00:13:39,986
...when you remove the specter
of fiery vehicular death.
255
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:43,949
Refresh my memory.
Why didn't I just put you in the trunk?
256
00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:46,826
Because I called shotgun, remember?
257
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,329
Right.
258
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:56,044
You seem tense.
259
00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:58,630
Perhaps this will relax you.
260
00:13:58,797 --> 00:14:01,633
(FLUTE MUSIC PLAYING ON SCREEN)
261
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:09,599
I don't wanna listen to music,
Sheldon.
262
00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:11,309
(FLUTE MUSIC STOPS)
263
00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:13,311
Very well.
264
00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:17,274
I don't understand
why you're not enjoying this.
265
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:21,319
Together in this car
with my enhanced capabilities...
266
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:24,114
...we're like Knight Rider.
267
00:14:24,573 --> 00:14:27,909
Except in Knight Rider,
the car isn't a yammering sphincter.
268
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:33,582
You mock the sphincter,
but the sphincter is a class of muscle...
269
00:14:33,748 --> 00:14:37,419
...without which human beings
couldn't survive.
270
00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:43,341
There are over 50 different sphincters
in the human body.
271
00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:45,510
How many can you name?
272
00:14:46,595 --> 00:14:49,931
I was wrong.
This is exactly like Knight Rider.
273
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,851
Perhaps you'd be interested
in a different game.
274
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,060
No.
275
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:57,314
This is a photograph
of the 1911 Solvay Conference...
276
00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:59,941
...on the theory
of radiation and quanta.
277
00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:03,695
Using Photoshop,
I've introduced a few anachronisms.
278
00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:06,031
See if you can spot all 24.
279
00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:07,532
I'll give you the first one.
280
00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:12,203
Madame Curie should not be wearing
a digital watch.
281
00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:13,872
And go.
282
00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:15,707
(FLUTE PLAYING "JEOPARDY THEME"
ON SCREEN)
283
00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:17,584
That's it. Bye-bye.
284
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,127
(FLUTE MUSIC STOPS)
285
00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:22,672
Bazinga!
286
00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:24,341
(TIRES SCREECH
AND HORN HONKING)
287
00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:26,593
I have an override switch.
288
00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:28,178
I almost died.
289
00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:32,932
Yeah, and I'm safe and sound in bed.
Who's crazy now?
290
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:35,727
I'm still gonna go with you.
291
00:15:41,650 --> 00:15:44,027
Hello, Professor Hoskins.
292
00:15:44,194 --> 00:15:46,613
Nice to see you, Mindy.
293
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:49,491
Konnichiwa, Dr. Nakamora.
294
00:15:49,658 --> 00:15:53,161
Sorry, the Swedes
disproved your theory.
295
00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:01,795
Leonard, my door.
296
00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:03,088
What about it?
297
00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:05,799
Be a lamb and open it for me.
298
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,634
Why? What's the problem?
299
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,643
You think you have me stymied,
don't you?
300
00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:19,938
No, I think a doorknob
has you stymied.
301
00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:24,567
Oh, look, it's Leonard and R2-D-Bag.
302
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:26,569
(LAUGHS)
303
00:16:26,736 --> 00:16:30,240
That's my joke, I told it last night.
You can't just use it.
304
00:16:30,699 --> 00:16:33,827
Raj, be a lamb
and open the door for me.
305
00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:35,620
Oh, sure.
306
00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:41,835
He's a lamb, you're not.
307
00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:46,464
I'm a lamb.
308
00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:51,177
Isn't this nice?
309
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:54,013
The pleasures of fellowship
and camaraderie...
310
00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:58,184
...without having to tolerate
your germy breath on my skin.
311
00:16:58,393 --> 00:17:02,188
I say we just take him to Tatooine
and sell him to some Jawas, heh.
312
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,442
That's two, dude.
Write your own jokes.
313
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,069
(SIGHS)
314
00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:09,696
Oh, great.
315
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:14,033
- Hi, I'm Penny. I'll be your waitress.
- Why are you introducing yourself?
316
00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:18,663
I'd rather people not know I have any
prior connection to you whatsoever.
317
00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:20,874
Can you tell me the specials
this evening?
318
00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:23,251
- Sheldon, I'm not waiting on you.
- Obviously.
319
00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:25,587
I don't even have water yet.
320
00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:27,213
Because you're not here.
321
00:17:27,422 --> 00:17:30,467
That's discrimination
against the otherwise located.
322
00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:34,596
I'm going to have to go
over your head.
323
00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:37,432
Manager?
324
00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:39,476
Manager?
325
00:17:39,684 --> 00:17:42,937
Oh, Lord, look who it is.
326
00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:47,192
- Is that Steve Wozniak?
- I think it is.
327
00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:49,736
The great and powerful Woz.
328
00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:54,115
Penny, Steve Wozniak was one
of the co-founders of Apple computer.
329
00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:55,408
He and Steve Jobs...
330
00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:58,328
Yeah, I know who he is.
I watch Dancing With the Stars.
331
00:17:58,787 --> 00:18:00,580
I must speak to him.
332
00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:01,831
Of course you must.
333
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:09,005
There's an Olive Garden down the street.
You guys should try it sometime.
334
00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:12,634
Excuse me, Mr. Wozniak?
335
00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:15,303
Oh, hey. Nice virtual presence device.
336
00:18:15,512 --> 00:18:18,932
Thank you.
I just wanna say I'm a big fan.
337
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:22,769
You're my 15th favorite
technological visionary.
338
00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:24,437
Only 15th?
339
00:18:25,063 --> 00:18:27,857
It's still six spots above Steve Jobs.
340
00:18:29,150 --> 00:18:32,320
I care neither for turtlenecks
nor showmanship.
341
00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:35,615
Yeah,
I never got that turtleneck thing.
342
00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:40,453
One of my proudest possessions
is a vintage 1977 Apple II.
343
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:43,998
Despite the file system limitations
of Apple DOS 3.3...
344
00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:46,501
...it was a pretty nifty
little achievement.
345
00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:48,503
Thanks, we were shooting for nifty.
346
00:18:49,671 --> 00:18:52,966
You know, if you had it here,
I'd autograph it for you.
347
00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:55,385
Don't move for 15 to 30 minutes...
348
00:18:55,552 --> 00:18:58,263
...depending on how the busses
are running.
349
00:19:00,515 --> 00:19:02,267
Nerds.
350
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,478
(SHELDON PANTING)
351
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:08,022
SHELDON:
I'm coming, Woz. I'm coming.
352
00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:09,274
Ah!
353
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:10,650
(THUMPING WHILE FALLING)
354
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,193
(COMPUTER CRASHES)
355
00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:15,530
Aw.
356
00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:28,293
SHELDON:
Penny.
357
00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:30,128
Penny.
358
00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:31,629
Penny.
359
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,800
What up, Shel-Bot?
360
00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:39,012
I can't get out of bed. I hurt my ankle.
361
00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:40,805
Well, what do you want me to do?
362
00:19:40,972 --> 00:19:43,099
Sing me "Soft Kitty."
363
00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:47,437
Really? You want me to sing "Soft Kitty"
to a computer monitor?
364
00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:50,273
Would you rather come
sing it to me in person?
365
00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:53,610
(SINGING)
Soft kitty, warm kitty
366
00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:56,321
Little ball of fur
367
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:57,989
Closer to the microphone.
368
00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,326
Happy kitty, sleepy...
369
00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:03,328
No.
370
00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:05,788
You have to start over.
371
00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:10,001
Softy kitty, warm kitty
372
00:20:10,168 --> 00:20:11,210
(PLAYING FLUTE)
373
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,171
Little ball of fur
374
00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:16,799
Happy kitty, sleepy kitty
375
00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:19,552
Purr, purr, purr
28036
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