All language subtitles for Extraordinary.S01E07.EN

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Blue lid, thick milk.

Green lid, runny milk.

Red lid, devil's water.

Are you going to keep doing that?

It helps me learn.

Fuckers! They don't want my
eggs. Why don't they want my eggs?

- Are they in date?
- Yeah, by about 20 years, yeah.

- Lady eggs.
- I need that money for the clinic.

How dare they? Now,
these are prime-time eggs.

I'll have to find something
else to monetise now.

What's monetise?

It's when you take something you're
good at, like a skill or a talent,

and you make people
give you money for it.

Do you have any skills?

- No.
- Do you have any talents?

- No.
- So what's the point of you?

- Jesus Christ!
- It's okay.

I don't have any skills either.

At least, not as a man.

Okay, take two.

Time for our next mission.

I mean, sequels are always
better anyway, right?

There's Terminator 2...

Uh...

So what's the plan?

- Um...
- You do have a plan, don't you?

Y-You've had so much time to
think about this exact situation.

Gregor was full of plans.
Fucking do this, do that.

He was planning to
foil some big drug deal.

Organised crime kind of shit.

- Well, how'd he get that kind of intel?
- I told him.

- I... I do a bit of crime on the side.
- Then why are you doing this?

I don't know. They cancel
each other out, don't they?

Shit! We should be the
ones foiling drug gangs.

It sounds so cool. And,
like, good for the community.

I'm just looking for my hairdryer.

Don't let me interrupt your hero'ing.

All right, Seb. I want you
to case the joint, okay?

- Entrances, exits.
- Actually, I think it's in the...

- Oh.
- Randall, what weaponry are we facing?

- Uh...
- Where are you, little hairdryer?

Guns, knives, knuckle-dusters, shivs.

This isn't a knockabout
in the park, lads.

Found it! Where is the diffuser?

Right. This is our moment,
our destiny manifest.

Okay, we may not all make it.

Especially Seb.

Okay, but if we perish,
we perish for a noble...

Babe! Babe!

Sorry, could you do that in the kitchen?

- It's my bedroom too.
- Well, I know.

You're just as important
to me as they are.

You don't act like it. Last time,
it was like you forgot I existed.

That won't happen this
time. I can do both, I swear.

Now let's have a date
night. Yeah? Just you and me.

- That sounds nice.
- Saturday night?

So, when's this drug deal happening?

Saturday night.

Bloody ridiculous.

I miss the days when you didn't
have to go through all this red tape.

Oh, just get him.

Your Majesty. I'm a, uh, biographer,

and, uh, I'm trying to rehabilitate
your reputation as a statesman,

and dispel the rumours that you

wasted your time partying
and... and womanising.

Well, of course, that's utter nonsense.

Thank you, Your Highness.

I wouldn't call that time wasted.

Right.

- I just need your signature on the...
- Tell me,

who am I speaking through?

It doesn't matter. Just,
uh, pretend she's not here.

I may be dead, but that's no
excuse not to be a gentleman.

Tell me, what is your name, milady?

Carrie. It's nice to meet
you, sir. Your Eminence.

That's not how you address royalty.

Now, Carrie, what's a
choice insult from your time?

I like "twat," personally.

Excellent.

Tell this twat I shan't sign his accord

until he gives you a grovelling apology.

And please...

call me Charles.

Yes?

Um, very sorry to bother you again.

I-I just wanted to check in...

Double-check that you were happy

with your experience with us yesterday.

Ooh, I was.

Good.

Is there anything else you want to say?

And he storms into the court.

All the high lords and
ladies of the land are there,

and he says, "Sir, you have
sullied my virtuous wife."

What did you do?

I said, "Well, I look forward
to meeting your virtuous wife,"

and arrested him for bigamy.

Have you a looking glass?

- Yes.
- Can I see you?

Just to warn you, I'm
not wearing any makeup.

You're not saying anything.

I don't know what that
means, but it sounds lovely.

It's Molière.

I'm not doing anything.

Okay. Can I borrow you?

You used to be a cat.

You used to win cat shows as a cat.

Cat shows have prize money.

We compete in a cat show.
We win. We get money.

As you can see, the maths works out.

Yeah, um, one... one small issue.

I'm not a cat.

Ah, I've anticipated this.

I've done some digging, and apparently,

with shape-shifters, if you
want to turn into your animal,

you bring back some of
their sense memories.

So, smell, touch, taste. People
on the Internet swear by it.

- Okay.
- I... it'll work. Don't worry.

That's a bit what I'm afraid of. I
don't think I want to be a cat again.

Well, it's just for one day.

Yeah, but w-what if I can't
change back? What if I get stuck?

We don't have to do it.

Right?

No, we don't.

- Sorry.
- It's fine.

It's not your fault.
It's way too much to ask.

- Have you got a back-up plan?
- I...

- No.
- You could always save up.

That'll take years.

No, I just feel like I can't start
until I have my power, you know?

Have you tried selling your eggs?

They don't want them!

- What?
- Those are prime-time eggs.

I know!

Hey.

So, I thought we could turn
date night into date day.

I think the galleries
are open late today.

So...

I knew this would happen.

No, I just have a tiny,
little, baby mission.

But it won't affect our date, I promise.

I'll be done by, like,
8.00 at the latest.

Okay.

Well, uh, don't let me ruin your plans.

I'm sure you'll find
someone to go with you.

What the fuck? I thought
he didn't want to do it.

If you're listening to this,

I've taken the cat food.

Don't try and argue with me. I
want you to take me to the cat show.

Oh, and scratch me behind the ears.

I like that.

What do I do?

I think we should honour his wishes.

I would like to register my cat.

- Name?
- Jizzlor... Uh, Hercule.

Just Hercule.

The Hercule?

Yes?

Donna, Hercule's back.

Donna!

Oh, fucking yes!

Sorry, sorry. This
is just very exciting.

We didn't know what happened
to him after David died.

So, uh, how were you related to him?

He was very specific in his will

that he wanted Hercule
to go to his next of kin.

I am his next of kin.
Yeah. I-I am his aunt.

Oh.

The aunt that collects Bigfoot erotica?

- Um...
- Or the aunt that thinks Israel did 9/11?

It's gonna have to be
the first one, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, that's me.

Oh, sorry, almost forgot. Um, what
talent am I putting you down for?

- Talent?
- Yeah, for the talent segment.

I mean, I know it's gonna
be dance, but I have to ask.

Uh, I'm sorry. Did you say dance?

Mm-hmm.

That cat can dance!

Now, Sean, I'd hate
to have to follow that!

Oh, Mike, I'd just kill myself.

- Oh, come on!
- Well, shit.

Do you think there will be
press? Like, local news and stuff?

Maybe. They might wanna take
a picture of us with the drugs,

like when people catch
a really big fish.

I should have brought some dry shampoo.

I get really sweaty in this suit.

- I don't wanna look oily.
- All clear. No drugs in here.

- What are you doing here?
- You're early!

Oh, okay.

You couldn't think of your own
mission, so you had to steal mine?

- I don't see your name on it.
- "I don't see your name on it."

- Grow up.
- No! It's my crime. I backsie it.

You can't backsie it. I called it.

Still want it?

Yeah.

Sorry, but can anyone
else hear footsteps?

Bloody hell.

Ha!

Someone's coming. Alpha team, hide.

Shit!

Move!

Hello?

- Oh.
- Hi.

Um, so, do you usually
compete in Ireland?

'Cause I don't remember seeing you

at the southeast Fancy Lad regionals.

- Oh, no, this is my first time.
- Ever?

Yeah. I'm just here for
the prize money, really.

But, I mean, come on. It's
not like you need experience.

Just cats, isn't it?

I bet you think you're
hot shit, don't you?

What?

I've seen thousands of
girls like you come and go.

You're nothing special.

Best go home now before
you embarrass your cat.

Oops.

Oh, my God. What a psycho, right?

What is it about Bigfoot? Is
it just the big, hairy penis?

Yeah.

Hmm.

Ugh.

Well, w-we don't need to talk.

Dance is the language of the body.

It's instinctual.
It's all muscle memory.

We've got this.

It's on the eight count. Eight.

Not seven, not six. The eight count.

It's very simple.

Okay, let's start with the
simplest possible thing.

Just sit, okay? You
can do that. Just sit.

Sit.

Sit. Sit.

Sit. Sit. Sit!

Sit! Sit! Sit!

This foiling isn't big
enough for the both of us.

I completely agree. Fuck off then.

- Oh, I'm not going anywhere.
- Neither am I.

I guess we'll be staying
here until one of us gives in.

Fine by me.

Oh, my God. Kiss.

I'm sorry. I write a lot of fan fiction.

Okay.

It says it should be...

Here.

Oh, no. This one is mortifying.

It's a bad angle. I
told them to destroy it.

Oh, I like it.

Do you have a lover?

I think so. I have a boyfriend.

What does he make of the Dutch masters?

He's, uh, not a gallery kind of guy.

- Where does he take you?
- Uh...

Usually we just stay
in and order some food.

A crime.

If I were him, I would
show you the continent.

Have you ever been to
Tuscany in the springtime?

N-No.

I would take you boating along the Arno.

Oh.

And we would discuss poetry
long into the evening.

And then?

And then to bed.

Oi!

The fuck are you doing?

Step, turn. Not turn, turn, step.

Let's go from the top, yeah? All right.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Okay.

Now you listen here.

I need this money.

I need you to understand me right now.

I need you to give me a sign
that you're still in there.

Jizzlord, please.

Now you're just being
an obtuse little cunt!

I can't believe I ever
showed you my tits.

I'll just mark you down
as a one for welfare.

It's close to 9.30. I drop
off to Brixton by 10.00.

Yeah, he just loaded up the last one.

Why can't we just work with them?

Surely, as long as we stop the crime,

i-it doesn't matter who gets the glory.

Yes. Yes, it does. Me. I want the glory!

This might be my only chance.

There will be other crimes.

This one doesn't even seem that serious.

- Hey, look what I found.
- Oh, my God. Put them down.

Oh, no.

- You in a rush or something?
- No, it's nothing. It's just date night.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Time with
your missus is not nothing.

No, I know that.

Why can't he just back down?

Or you could back down.

No! This is everything I've ever wanted.

Taking down bad guys. Being
a hero. Saving the day.

Yeah. If he has to ruin his relationship
with his girlfriend to do it,

- then so be it.
- It's not what I meant.

- Do you think your girlfriend will be mad?
- Not mad.

Maybe just disappointed.

Oh, disappointed is way worse than mad.

Trust me, if a guy did that to me,

- it would be game over.
- Jesus Christ.

I know. I don't want that.

But I'm not leaving here
till I've saved something.

It sounds like you do have
something to save, mate.

Hey, Kash. This is stupid.

Somewhere in this building, criminals
are doing something criminal,

and here we are, arguing in a cupboard.

Who's stepping aside? You or me?

I'm getting black cherry. Plum, perhaps.

Should we be cheeky and open the Merlot?

I thought you said you had an
engagement with your beau. Hmm?

He was never gonna show up.

He's a fool.

Perhaps it's not meant to be.

No, no, it is. We've been
together since university.

He seems as familiar
to you as an old coat.

Just because something is well-worn

doesn't necessarily mean
it is well-fitting. Hmm?

Come on. Please. I need you.

I need you you.

If you were here, you'd
know the right things to say.

What am I talking
about? No, you wouldn't.

You'd say something really weird,
and probably a little gross,

but I think I'd quite
like that right now.

Let's just go home.

Donna's right. We're never gonna win.

I'm just gonna quickly
steal everything first.

If you're listening to this,

I've taken the cat food.

Don't try and argue with me. I
want you to take me to the cat show.

Oh, and scratch me behind the ears.

I like that.

Um, I didn't want to turn back
into Hercule when you asked,

because I really like my life now.

I know I should be trying
to find out who I was,

but I'd rather stay with you.

I know what it's like to feel
like something's missing from you.

And I don't want you to feel that way.

And you won't have to
because we're gonna win.

Okay, bye.

Uh, bye.

- Jennifer?
- Ange.

- Do you know what time it is?
- Yeah, I know we're about to close.

You know those costumes that
we were going to throw out

because, legally, they
were too flammable?

Yeah, the one with the sequins?

Do we still have those?

I think that's probably enough wine.

I will not have such
treasonous language in my court.

I'm so sorry, Your Highness.

You ought to watch your tongue,

or I'll have you put over my knee.

You wouldn't dare...

- Carrie!
- Kash?

Kash?

I'm here. And I'm done with it.

All of it. I'm done with it.

Oh.

- What are you wearing?
- Uh...

I like it.

Shall we have this date?

I should like that very much.

Sick.

What takeaway do you want?

Now, I know we normally get pizza,

but apparently, the Chinese has
started doing sweet potato wedges,

which is like, I mean, game changer.

That's insane.

Oh, what TV do you wanna watch?

No.

Sorry, this is a really important night.

Let's do a YouTube deep dive.

I've been recommended these
skateboarding-accident compilations

which are meant to be...

Yeah?

Wonderful.

Let's hear it for Frida Cat-lo.

You're up.

Don't fuck it up.

That prize money is ours.

It's you and me. Ride or die.

Jennifer and Hercule!

♪ I hear the ticking of the clock ♪

♪ I'm lying here ♪
♪ The room's pitch dark ♪

Boo!
What are you doing? Boo!

♪ No answer on the telephone ♪

♪ And the night goes by ♪
♪ So very slow ♪

♪ And my love for you ♪
♪ Is still unknown ♪

♪ Alone ♪

♪ Till now I always got by on my own ♪

♪ I never really cared ♪
♪ Until I met you ♪

♪ And now it chills me to the bone ♪

♪ How do I get you alone? ♪

♪ How do I get you alone? ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ How do I get you alone? ♪

♪ How do I get you alone? ♪

♪ Alone ♪

My eyes!

No.

Yeah, fair enough.

Yo, watch out. Watch out!

You want some?

Oh, no.

I've missed this.

It's nice getting back
to normal, isn't it?

Isn't it?

You're not saying anything.

Oh, no. No!

I'm sorry. I really messed it
up. You must be so mad at me.

And now you don't have the money,
and so you're not going to...

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