Original subtitles

One-Adam-12, handle code 3.

♪♪

Oh, did I do something wrong, Officer?

Yes, ma'am. You went through a red light back there.

It was amber.

It wasn't amber when you came into the intersection, ma'am.

May I see your license, please?

Well, I certainly thought it was amber.

Would you take it out of the case, please?

Oh, fuss and fiddlesticks. Why pick on me?

Because you committed a traffic violation, ma'am.

I want you to know I'm a very careful driver.

Not when you go through a red light.

Well, what's the matter? Speak up, young man.

Cat got your tongue?

Are you Prudence Armstrong?

Well, there's a picture. Look at it.

Why did you give your age as 34?

None of your business!

All this fuss about amber lights.

- That's really funny. - Yeah.

If Prudence Armstrong wanted to pass herself off

as 55 or 60, that makes some kind of sense.

But 34? The woman's got to be over 70.

- I'd say so. - I wonder who she thinks she's kidding?

Herself.

One-Adam-12, One-Adam-12.

See the man. A stolen vehicle report.

26th and Harding, at the market.

Female Caucasian suspect just left, southbound,

in a 1970 Chevelle two-door, green in color.

- License unknown. - One-Adam-12, roger.

Hey. Hey, here. Wait!

Hey, look, I called you.

My car was just stolen.

From the market here?

I told them that. She took my car.

Okay, Corporal. Try and simmer down.

You want to tell us what happened?

Well, I uh... I picked up this girl.

She was hitchhiking, back on 24th Street.

Five minutes later, bang, my car's gone.

Wait a minute, Corporal. Let's do this by the numbers.

What's your name?

Miller, Wayne L.

Now, you picked up this girl. Can you describe her?

I didn't see that much of her.

I mean, there was plenty to see, but, well, I didn't see it that long.

Do you want to spell that out, Corporal?

I'm just back from 'Nam,

and she was wearing one of those...

You know, those miniskirt things, way up to here.

What else?

I really didn't notice.

Okay, what did you notice?

She had blonde hair.

I noticed that. It came down to about here.

How old?

Seventeen, eighteen, maybe. Somewhere around there.

I think she said her name was Karen.

Look, she was a chick. She needed a ride.

Okay, this girl was in your car.

What happened then?

Well, we drove around a little bit. Talked.

And then she said she was out of cigarettes.

So I offered her one of mine.

She was too smart for that. She had to smoke her own brand.

She even offered to pay for them.

No marine can let a lady do that,

so I stopped in here.

And then she asked if she could listen to the radio

while I was gone.

I left the keys in the car.

You know, I wasn't in that store more than 60 seconds.

That's all it takes.

Just took delivery on it.

There were 8 miserable miles on the speedometer.

Boy, after all the walking I did, I swore I'd never walk again.

What do I do now?

Well, we can give you a ride home.

This makes 16 in the last five weeks.

Malloy, I'm just telling Reed about

this rash of car thefts we're getting.

Mr. White here just had the same experience

your young marine had earlier today.

- Was it the same girl? - No, this time is was a redhead.

How old was she, Mr. White?

I have...

Mr. White puts her age at around 18. Is that right, sir?

Uh, give or take a year. I'm only here as a concerned citizen.

You're concerned about your car, too, aren't you, Mr. White?

Oh, yes. Of course.

But I'm hardly involved.

You see, I was being the Good Samaritan.

I was helping this poor girl out.

She used the same M.O.

Asked Mr. White to stop and get her cigarettes.

And leave the radio on.

Well, I'll mention at roll call.

- Meanwhile, keep an eye out. - Will do.

Wait. Do you mind?

I'd appreciate it very much, Sarge.

The door, Miller.

Uh, I'm much obliged. You see, I'm a married man, and, uh...

Yes, you told me that already.

Yeah, but the boys. I wanted to explain to them.

If there's anything you want me for,

there's my card.

As a witness, to identify this woman.

Uh, this is my office number.

Oh, yes, sir. What if we want you at night?

Oh, uh, there's an answering service.

I want to cooperate, Sergeant. Yes, sir.

But, uh, please don't use my home phone number.

Agreed?

Agreed?

You know, I remember the first car I ever owned.

It was a 1950 Ford.

The biggest thing in my life. Paid $300 for it.

It took me months and months to save up for it.

I worked in my dad's gas station until he sold it,

then I got a job working at the airport near our house.

I was a line boy. I pumped gas

and washed airplanes... Anything to make a buck

towards that car.

- Know what I mean? - I know what you mean.

I put French headlights on it and painted the dash white.

White?

Yeah, that was the thing in those days.

I lowered the front end, put dual exhaust on it

and fixed the carburetion up so it ran great.

- Anything else? - Yeah, I painted it lavender.

Then I had a great big orange gearshift knob on it.

Sounds like a real dreamboat.

- Too bad. - Too bad what?

It got stolen.

One-Adam-12, One-Adam-12. Man assaulting a woman.

169 Zelzah. Code 2.

One-Adam-12, roger.

He tried to steal my bike!

- Help! - Gutless wonder!

- Get her! - All right, come on.

- Get her off me! - Come on.

That's enough, lady.

Lady?

I've had some training in self-defense.

But I'm really a professional skater.

That's how I got into this.

I work out in the afternoon,

and I happened to come down to the garage this afternoon

for some more weights, when I spot this-this joker

getting ready to take off on my motorcycle.

I caught him red-handed.

Guess one of the neighbors called you fellows.

- Look, I've got my rights. - We'll take it from here, lady.

Come on.

Hey. You're not mad, are you?

- Why should I be mad? - Well, you know.

- Him. - What about him?

I mean, my capturing him.

I took a shortcut.

We're always glad to have a citizen lend a helping hand.

- What do you think? - I refuse to answer,

on the grounds I may incriminate myself.

What do you think of having two television sets?

You mean one for each eye? I live alone, remember.

I wasn't talking about you. I was talking about me.

You want another set? Buy it.

It's not for me. It's for Jeanne.

Jeanne wants another set?

No, Jeanne doesn't know anything about it.

Neither do I, so far.

See, Jeanne's birthday's coming up,

and she spends a lot of time in the kitchen.

So I thought I'd buy her one of those little portables.

- Get it. - It's not that simple.

See, we have this agreement on any large expenditure.

We have to talk it over before we spend that kind of money.

So it puts me in kind of a spot.

- Get the set on approval. - Hey! That's it, Malloy.

- Any time. - One-Adam-12, One-Adam-12.

See the woman. Unknown trouble.

215 West Adams. Approach from the rear.

- Code 2. - One-Adam-12, roger.

Who's there?

- Police officers. - Oh, thank God.

Come in, come in!

Hello?

In here, please.

Oh, I'm so glad to see you boys.

Shall I introduce myself? Clara Fisher.

I'm Officer Malloy. This is Officer Reed.

Won't you sit down, gentlemen?

No, thank you, ma'am. What's the trouble?

I don't know.

Well, what seems to be the trouble?

You see, I'm a shut-in.

Yes, ma'am?

Oh, please try to be patient.

Ma'am, we're here to help you.

Patience is part of that.

Could I impose upon you to raise me?

- There's a device... - Sure.

Say when.

There. Thank you. Thank you.

You have kind eyes. Try to understand.

To understand what, ma'am?

Alas, I'm totally dependent upon my nephew Joey-Boy.

Joseph Triton Fisher, Jr.

My dear dead brother's son.

- He lives here? - Joey-Boy?

The son I never had?

Yes, I've raised him,

and he's repaid me a thousandfold.

Yes, ma'am, but what's the trouble?

I mean, why did you call us?

When one lives alone,

immobile,

one becomes the mind's captive.

There's been no sight of Joey-Boy

since we lunched here together,

and all afternoon, I've been victimized by sounds

and smells.

Look, can you describe them?

Well, when they come,

the sounds are like rhythmic, muffled footsteps

at a distance.

Frightening.

I must sound like

a child whose imagination's run riot.

No, ma'am. Go ahead.

The smell is acrid.

It comes and goes.

A harsh, course, almost bitter smell.

- Are you familiar with it? - Maybe.

Oh! I thought I was going mad.

No, ma'am.

There. There. There.

Excuse us.

Take a look.

There are no windows in here. Look at that.

What does this thing do for light?

You can grow anything under that.

Including marijuana. Why don't you turn it off?

This is one light nobody should prolong.

♪♪

♪♪

Which one of you two's Joey-Boy?

That's me, man. I'm not bothering anybody.

You're bothering your aunt. She called us.

Oh, yeah? Well, we'll quiet down.

The party's over, Joey-Boy. All right, all of you. Let's go.

For one lousy pot party, huh, man?

One's plenty, but you've got enough grass here to last you a week,

not to mention the horticulture in the hall.

I mean, you're not satisfied smoking it. You're going to grow it, too, huh?

I don't see you bothering the squares who lap up the booze.

To begin with, drinking liquor is legal,

smoking pot is not, growing it is not and possession is not.

- That's for openers. - Big deal.

Ugly deal. Ugly because too many know-it-alls like you get tired of pot

and decide to try the hard stuff... heroin, the main line to nowhere.

Come on, Joey-Boy.

We're doing you a favor.

Hey.

- You are speaking to us? - That's right.

What's going on here?

- We're moving a safe. - Whose safe?

Officer, we are gathered here in broad daylight.

- Whose safe would I be moving? - That was the question.

I am moving my safe.

Naturally, you can prove that.

Look, I bought this safe new, 12 years ago.

Now, that wasn't the question.

I did not save the bill of sale. Mel?

- It's his safe. I'm helping him move it. - To save the cost of moving.

Yep.

You still don't believe me.

Well, you all have to admit you don't see a safe

being pushed up the street every day.

Look, my name is Conrad Short.

Bookbinder. Twelve years ago, I opened a shop across the street.

Now the building is being removed by... by progress.

And I said he could store it in my garage.

To save the cost of storage.

What do I got to do to convince you this is my safe?

Open it.

Sorry.

Join us?

No, thanks.

- You know, I could've used that brew. - Yeah, me, too.

- It's been one long day. - Yeah. We got a long way to go.

It's a funny thing. Some days, you finish your watch,

you feel like you just pulled out of the parking lot.

- Other days... - Tired?

Well, yeah. Sort of.

Sign of age. Relax for the rest of the watch. I'll carry it.

You'll carry me.

Southeast corner, at the service station.

Think she's out of cigarettes?

We better hang around and see.

She's pulling away.

- Yeah, I see her. - Let's get her.

And the marine's blonde and the redhead that stole Bert White's car?

Mac said there have been a rash of these in the last month or so.

That brunette's not just out for a joyride.

You see her?

375.

Now I see her.

She certainly acts like she's out for a joyride.

These girls might be doing this for kicks, but I just don't believe it.

One-Adam-12, code 6, Adam.

125 South Moorpark.

G.T.A. suspects.

One-Adam-12, roger. Code 6, Adam.

I took it before the sucker opened the door.

Well, Tom, how'd I do?

It's all right.

That's almost enough to buy my prom dress.

Give me another order, Tom.

In the first place, I haven't got another order.

Second, gotta wait your turn.

That's the boss.

Quite an operation. Must be the corporal's Chevelle.

Yeah, you better get us a backup unit on the double.

- For one guy? - And a basket full of kittens.

You ever try rounding them up?

Tom? Tom?

- What? - Would you like something?

Sally, can't you see I'm busy?

Would you like a root beer or something?

Let me go!

- Let me go, I said! - All right. Cool it.

All right. Hold it right there.

Up against the car, all of you.

You, too, mister. Let's go.

- Come on! - Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!

All right. Do you want to cool it?

Let me go! I haven't done anything wrong!

Let me go!

You're treating us like common criminals!

You are. We saw you steal a car.

If the rest of you are identified, you're common criminals, too.

I have my rights!

What's this all about? You ask for a backup unit?

Yeah, but they rushed things a little.

- This all of them? - We think so.

Okay, get them out of the station.

Okay, let's go.

I'll contact the detectives, have them round up the victims to arrive here.

Oh, by the way, Mac,

remember Bert White?

Oh, yeah. The married guy who lost his car to the redhead.

Be sure to tell detectives to call him at the office,

not at home.

Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA