Original subtitles

There they are!

- Yeah, let me out. Let me out. - Wait! Kato!

- Job! Wait, Job! - Wait, slow down!

72 HOURS EARLIER

THE AWKWARD WEEKEND

Ollie, the '90s just called. They want their camera back.

Fuck!

All the smartphones.

- That old camera? Still? - Are we really live right now?

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

- Ollie, look at Dad. - I don't remember.

No, I don't remember.

Young people these days...

- Jel. - That finale was legendary.

Like a king.

- Almost. You're gonna flood it. - There we go.

There's no time.

Ah, brothers.

What are we doing? Announce the winner!

I think the t-shirts look very nice.

Give me that.

- Yeah, come on! - Same thing every year.

- Yeah. Look right at me. - Yeah, good, isn't it, sweetie?

He's just messing with us!

Okay, Ollie. Ollie, this one's for Dad.

It's like a cape!

I've opened a bottle of wine.

Yeah, okay. We're done.

Ollie!

Come here.

Well, here we go, little brother.

Job? Sweetie, have you seen Job?

Let's put Ollie at the head of the table.

That's perfect, honey.

Is Eef here yet?

This is Eef.

I'm busy doing more pleasant things than talking on the phone...

- Jesus. You okay? - Yeah. I'm good.

Oh, well. Hey, Eef, it's me again.

Um, is everything okay?

What time do you get here?

Hold on. Oh, shit. Wait. Well, call... call me when you can.

Hey, my rascals!

- Hello. - How are you?

Great.

Mom, They can't leave their beds until the little sheep turns green, okay?

Stick to it. Otherwise they'll never learn.

Guys, be nice!

I really have to go. Okay. Love you guys. Later! See you!

Perfect.

Oh! What is this?

A pigeon dish, with snails.

- Kinda like surf & turf? - No.

You know, I could open with the act and then scatter the ashes,

or after the finale. That would also be nice.

Jel, shouldn't we check how she's doing first?

Yeah, sure.

'Cause I think she dreads

the idea of scattering the ashes of the love of her life.

Oh, of course.

Jel...

- What is this? - Huh?

- They call that a cunt. - No, it's a goatee.

- Tit... - Any news from her?

No. I've called and she's not picking up.

- Seriously? - What's that smell?

Jesus, Tit, you could've cremated your brother with that temperature.

- Don't worry. We've cheese, ham, oysters. - It looks interesting, the black part.

Kato!

Oh!

Job, get rid of that poor animal, right now!

- Hey, it was him or us. - Who?

That boar. It came straight at us.

It looked at us with those crazy eyes, and I just shot it right in the jugular.

You can't keep taking that poor man on your Rambo adventures.

It's called hunting.

- You can't do that! - Why not?

No need to panic, I got the stains almost completely out, so...

Oh, my God!

Eef will arrive any minute now, and a huge, stinky dead boar

is not the perfect gift for a consecrative weekend.

- Are we missing someone? - Yeah, Eef, Pa. She'll be here soon.

Tit, Jel, grab a leg. Come on, now.

Yeah, now.

Jelpie, you missed a spot when you shaved, man.

Where?

That thing around your mouth, to be honest.

- Oh. - Eef'll be here soon.

- That's good, Pa. - Did you prepare anything for later?

He prepared something, though. Wow.

He was your best friend. I think this is a pretty special moment.

I'll just come up with something.

You're pushing. You have to pull.

- Damn, Jelmer. - Pull, Jelmer.

- Not now, Pa. - What's keeping Eef?

I don't know, but apparently I'm the only one who cares about this.

We're all pulling this boar, right? Not now, Pa.

Let's just hang it. Come on.

Oh, fuck.

You okay, Pa?

- Yeah. Cancer, am I right? - You don't have cancer.

- Yeah, but you never know. - Now, let's try to keep things light.

Hey!

Guys, this is Bram.

Hi.

My new "flame."

Bram, flame. It sounded funny in the car.

Pal?

- Hey, sis! - Sis!

Aw, hey.

Hey. Bram, this is Kat, my sister.

Hey. What's up?

Wow... What a beast! Is that my welcome gift?

- Oh, I'm so sorry. - Flowers would've been fine.

I thought you wouldn't have one of these.

- Hey, sweetie. - Hey, honey.

It's wonderful to see you.

You have a safe trip?

- I'm Bram. - Hey, I'm Job.

Want something cold to drink?

- Lovely. - Nice.

Okay, cool.

- Good to see you, Jel. - Hey.

- Well... Oh. - Hello, darling.

I like the facial hair!

Yeah.

Hey, are those Ollie's shoes?

- Yup. - They look good on you.

- Nice suit, man. - Yeah, it's, uh, wool.

Angora goat. Turkish.

Isn't it a bit warm?

Wool is warm when it needs to be warm

and cool when it gets hot outside.

Oh, my name is Jelmer.

- Hi, nice to meet you. - Hey, Tit. This is Tit.

Hi, Tit. Bram.

- Titia. - Okay.

Sorry we're so late, guys. Traffic and...

Better never than late.

- Hmm? - Oh.

Is it okay if we go freshen up first?

- Yeah, sure. - Afterwards, we'll...

Towels are in the vanity right beneath the sink.

- If you need shampoo or conditioner... - Great, darling. Awesome.

- Yeah. - Okay.

- See you soon. - See you soon!

What the fuck?

- He's that famous singer! - She's crazy. How can she bring someone?

I am so canceling this weekend.

- What a twist, right? - No.

- It'll be fine. - Yeah, Job?

- Think it'll be fine? - Dad must be very confused.

Hey, she's your teenage sister, you handle this mess. Okay?

So nice, a real shower.

Well, I prefer the camper van, you know.

Yeah. For sure.

Wasn't that kind of awkward?

Hmm?

It's as awkward as you make it.

It's all in here.

Oh, that's funny. I thought it was, uh,

- in here. - Oh!

- You touch it, you go all the way. - Oh yeah?

Rules are rules.

Oh. Sorry, Master.

- Yeah, or he's just a rebound. - It doesn't matter.

- That happens a lot. - It's disrespectful.

- He could sing something. - No, we cancel it.

I liked his last album.

Job, this is not the time. Let's wait and see how it goes, okay?

- You tell her or I do. - Now I have to adjust my whole act.

You listen to his music all the time.

Yeah, because I'm sick of your stupid banjo music.

Wow, I call it bluegrass, but sure.

I'm very happy that she's here, so...

- Hey! - Hey, Eefie.

Clean teeth now?

Actually, now they're dirtier.

Okay. I'll go.

Ugh.

Ugh, what's that smell?

Hmm?

- Oh, it's my chemical toilet. - Oh!

Okay.

So you live here now?

Yeah.

Small, but cozy, hmm?

What's up?

Uh, nothing.

I just wanted to see your... camper.

Oh, cool.

- What do you think? - About my camper?

No, just this weekend here. Together.

Oh, uh, yeah, great. You?

Yeah. I like it too.

It's weird.

Weird? What's weird?

Scattering the ashes and all...

- Hmm. - ...with a new person present.

Ah.

"Ah" what?

Came to check on me, did you?

- Yeah. I'm just curious how you feel. - You can't stand change. It upsets you.

- Eef, I'm worried about you. - Yeah, I can look after myself.

Okay, I do think it is a little weird you brought a new boyfriend over here.

Weird?

You sit on this chemical toilet for months. We never hear from you.

Everyone has been bending over backwards.

- Do you realize-- - I didn't ask anybody for it, did I?

It's just a little weird.

And frankly, I actually think Ollie would have thought so, too.

Yeah?

Okay, well, I am not doing this.

- Eef, please... - I am not doing this.

Eef!

Okay.

Hey, Stan.

- Bram. - Han. The Ol-lympics.

Every year my brother would organize a weekend with games.

With great prizes.

Last year, Job won a snow scooter. Yeah.

Fits three people. It's awesome.

This year is special. Like an ode.

Only his favorite games, but with a twist.

- Sick. - Yeah, sick.

Well, things can get wild, so any weak knees I need to keep in mind?

- No. - Okay.

No.

Uh, and you're organizing it this year?

Yeah.

Organizing it and presenting it.

Including an act.

- An act? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's more than that, actually.

It's... a show.

- A show. - Yeah.

Yeah, so you and Eef?

You've been on a few dates or so?

Actually, we've, uh,

been travelling for six months now, I believe.

And, uh,

well, crazy in love.

Oh, okay. So anything could happen.

Right?

Well, awesome.

Huh?

On a good day, he's almost like he used to be.

Well...

Hey. What the fuck are you doing here?

Aren't you happy to see me?

Sure, yeah. But we're here for something else.

Are you gonna pretend you don't know me for this whole thing?

Sure, I will.

Hey, Aad.

It's nice to see you.

Don't feel like eating?

I'm being picked up here.

Okay.

Do we need that thing? This looks like a funeral service.

It is, isn't it? Sort of. A memorium.

Al.

- Al? - Al.

What "al"?

Memorial.

Oh.

What are you doing?

The restaurant is closed.

Wait, what about all those weird escargots?

I don't care.

We're all looking forward to those weird pigeons of yours. Come on.

So you spent the whole week in the kitchen for nothing?

Nice, I like the candles.

Jelpie!

Jelpie, come here.

Yeah?

I knew he could be a douchebag, but this...

Not much left in the end, huh?

Yeah, just close it already. Ugh.

- I feel like a sausage. - No, sweetheart, you look really great.

How are we doing?

Everything's on the table?

No, I mean, will you join in on the fun tonight?

Got it.

- Oh, okay. - Jesus, Tit.

Jel, can you get out of the way please?

- It's our schedule. It's important. - Yeah, but this has to...

- That's fine. - You sure?

Um, first I'd like to say something.

Guys, hold on just a moment.

A round of applause for Tit. This looks delicious.

- Yeah. - Amazing.

Yeah, I was gonna say that too, of course.

Anyway, but, uh... Um...

Well, this is so wonderful. We're finally all together again.

With a new person, of course.

- Bram, welcome. - Thank you.

How long have we been getting together to, uh, honor this crazy tradition?

And how surreal is it?

We're doing it without the man who connected us all, this time.

But I'm sure that this is what Ollie would have wanted.

Yeah.

So let's make this an unforgettable weekend.

- Cheers. - Well-spoken.

- Thanks, honey. Great. - Hey, oi, oi, oi!

- To Ollie. - Yeah.

- To Ollie. - Cheers.

Cheers, tiger.

Wham.

So your favorite place is Croatia?

- Italy, actually. - Italy.

Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, it's kinda weird, but she changes her mind every week.

- That's true. That's true. - Makes sense.

So that's where you get your inspiration? Or... something like that?

- Traveling? - Yeah, with your music.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Traveling. Uh... Uh...

You know, life. I don't know. Uh, love as well.

- Hmm. Honey. - Yeah?

Did she say anything?

She didn't, her finger did.

But I rose above it. What else was I supposed to do?

Cool. So you have a...

- a She's being a hypocrite. - Traveling for eight months now...

- When she was little, she could-- - Sorry, is there a problem?

- Hmm? - What?

I'm sitting here, so obviously I can hear everything.

Uh, no. We were just talking about--

Why is he here?

I can see his nipples, and I'm fucking eating.

Evie, I'm just gonna go.

Sit down. Tit, what exactly is your problem?

- Eef, we probably shouldn't do this. - Do what?

Can we keep things nice?

- No, say it. - This is not nice, Job.

- Tit. - Don't you "Tit" me.

She can answer the question.

If he stays, I'm out.

That is so childish.

- Don't worry. - Sit down!

Tit, we're all adults here. Can we talk about this?

Okay. Okay, fine. Okay, listen. A few of us are finding it difficult.

You included, if I heard you right.

I do. But there are other people who are having a bit of a hard time--

No problem. Tomorrow we're gonna go to Portugal.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Whoa! - It's an antique table!

- Jelpie, don't blow! - Smack it!

Kato, do something!

Smack here! No, smack it!

No, not with the game plan!

- Shit. - We leave tomorrow.

Have a nice evening.

Eef!

I wanna get out of here.

Wow. That was nice.

I feel as feeble as I did during that juice cleanse crap.

She only thinks about herself, as always.

Hmm. She just needs someone.

Yeah? A shirtless singer-songwriter?

I'm gonna throw that boar on the grill.

Did you see that camper?

I'm so hungry.

I don't want to get caught dead inside there.

- Holy shit! - Testing, testing.

- One, two, uh-uh! - Hey, Jelmer!

Hello!

- Come on, Pa! Get down here! - Yeah, yeah, yeah! I'm coming.

Good morning!

My name is Jelmer.

I am your showman host today.

Come on down and join me for the warm-up!

Hey! Hey, Tit is here too.

Not doing this. No way, Jelmer.

And step. Yeah, Kat, good morning!

It's seven-fucking-thirty, Jel.

Step, and step, squat, to the left.

- Ugh, do we have to? - Yeah.

- Step, step, squat to the left. - Aad, your robe is, uh...

- Move to the left. - Put on some pants.

Squat! Move your ass!

Now our tails do the work. Do the dolphin.

And push! Let's hear it.

Have they left already?

- And now... - Yeah, it looks like it, I guess.

...the octopus.

Yeah! The octopus! Come on, Tit. Hey!

Jelly, jelly!

Jelly! Octopus!

Okay!

Hey, Bram and Eef!

Morning!

Right, Bram. Cones are worth two points, pawns one.

- Remember that. - I thought you'd hit the road.

Hit the road? No.

- I'm just gonna watch, okay? - No. You should join in. This is fun.

And then twist. And twist. Twist. And twist.

- Twist. And twist. - Kinda tough.

Twist and twist and--

Tit!

Coffee, anyone?

I feel a twinge.

- No. - What else can I do?

- No! - Huh?

- Just doing my best. - No.

We can't ignore that crazy tradition.

I'm not scattering my brother's ashes while he's here.

We'll begin with your favorite game.

Is that a yes?

That... That's a yes. High five?

High five's too much. Okay.

No!

Are we ready?

Hey, hey!

Welcome to the Ol-lympics, motherfucker!

Fair play, guys. Come on.

That doesn't count!

Okay, I was the first one!

Ow! Stop it!

Purple, red. Orange.

Green! Blue!

No! Nobody is bamboo!

Okay, Bram, you're up, man.

Hey man, I think these flippers are just too tight.

I'll go easy on you, it's okay.

Three, two, one... Go!

- Get him! Go, go, go, go! - Great!

Oh, Job's accelerating.

Ah, yes, nice!

Up! Yes! Yup!

No, no, no! Why not?

Bonobo!

Are the games always this intricate?

Yeah. He touched that monkey, so...

Huh?

Here we go!

Eef rolls over Job. Beautiful breakaway!

Oh, no! Job!

Wait.

Not fair! She used her foot!

Applause!

Dad.

- Oh my God. - You having fun?

What the fuck are you guys doing?

Jesus.

Ta-da!

- Cheers! - Woo-hoo!

Okay, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the Ol-lympics.

Ladies and gentlemen, close the doors and windows.

Turn on the radio.

Today the queen is visiting Amsterdam.

Yeah.

Uh...

This is not okay.

Jelmer!

That was out. Totally out!

Job, cold!

Jeez, Tit.

Goddamn. Jel, this is way too difficult, dude.

The past years were way too easy, so I added the blindfolding element.

That's quite a trickle.

You're not allowed to kick it, right? He kicked the ball.

Were you laughing?

I had a cramp.

Ol's watching from above.

Yeah, that's good!

Yes!

Yes!

That's not good. One more time, okay?

Hold on.

Something in your hair.

- You good? - Yeah.

Job!

Great. They won't be able to hear us.

It's death metal.

- So I have half a minute? - Yeah.

Thirty seconds, but with death metal. You couldn't hear, right?

- No. - Put it on.

Let's see.

So, are we ready?

- Yeah. - Go!

Fuerteventura.

Strong whore ventura.

Fuerteventura.

A furious Buddha!

Family.

- Two kids and a steady job, you know? - Good job.

Grilled tempura.

So you actually made it in music.

- Sick, man. - Yeah, I'm fucking grateful.

- Fuerteventura! - Yes! Great.

Okay, uh... um...

Binge watching.

Big cock bites.

Binge...

You don't feel the need to, uh, settle?

Next one.

Mmm, yeah, maybe. Sure.

But I'm not done living my life yet.

No. Whoa, no miming. No miming.

Okay. Cheese croissant.

- Cheese present. - No!

Cheese croissant.

- You have to articulate. - That's what I'm doing!

Next one.

Kuala Lumpur.

- Koala bear! - Almost. Kuala...

- Guatemala. - Memories work in a funny way, right?

Kuala Lumpur.

Meaning?

- Kuala Lumpur! - Guatemala!

Your scent.

Stop!

- Cheese croissant. - Why didn't you say?

As the tradition foresees...

the last game of this marvelous day,

the ride of the frats!

No, no, no, wait!

- Wait a second. - What? What's wrong?

Hey, just fight until the bitter end, all right?

He's pretty ruthless.

- Don't be a scaredy-cat. - Helmet on.

- Job, helmet on. - Okay.

Get him, honey.

Start the mowers!

Spears ready!

- Yeah. - Yes!

- Ready for battle? - Oh, yeah!

And charge!

Let's go, men!

I want to feel your passion!

Feel the tension!

Ground fight!

- Ground fight! - Ground fight!

Watch out, now!

Come on, honey. Don't disappoint me.

Oh! Oh!

Oh God.

Are you okay?

What'd you do?

Sorry!

- Unbelievable. - Sorry I hit you!

- My baby! - I really hit you!

You okay?

Yeah.

Yeah. Nice.

Honey, come here.

This is great, right?

Huh.

if you ever invite me again to a weird gaming weekend...

You have to come, right?

She's such a fanatic, that girl.

Yeah.

Is she happy?

Her brother's gone. What do you think?

I meant your sister.

Oh.

Kat is Kat.

And how are you feeling?

Huh?

Fuck me.

Sorry, wait a minute.

Should I help you?

How's this? Am I helping? Is that better?

Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Oh fuck.

- Now it's like I'm in my own head. - It doesn't matter, honey. It's okay.

I'm hungry too. You hungry?

Maybe I need to eat.

- Oh! - Oh, hey.

Jesus.

I'm sorry, I wanted a... I was hungry.

Oh.

Uh, well, just take this one.

- Oh, okay. - Yeah.

- Here you go. Yeah. - Thanks.

What a day, huh?

Mm-hmm.

You happy?

Sleep tight.

- Hey. - Hey.

- Okay. Well, thanks for the sandwich. - Yeah.

I can see your nipples.

Huh?

- What? - Right?

Oh, yeah.

I see them too.

Huh.

Oh, hey, showman.

Hey, Bob.

I just wanted to, uh,

wish you guys a good night.

Good night.

- Hey. - Hey, Bram.

- Couldn't wait for me? - Nope.

- Okay, but you have to bring it up later. - What? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Hey, tiger!

- Good morning. - Morning.

If he puts on a show like that again, I'll be screwed.

I'm curious about the winner.

The final game wasn't bad, huh?

- Good morning, good morning. - Hey, Jelmer.

- Hey, Pa. - His name is Super Jelmer.

Hey, what's the plan today?

Well, first of all, everyone can have some downtime.

- Yeah? - And then I'll prepare myself,

'cause I'll make a little revelation at the ceremony.

Oh. Job.

There's no juice?

- Aren't you eating? - You know I don't eat until noon.

- Ah. - And I have to go buy some stuff.

- Job. - Yup.

I had such a weird dream last night about...

Oh? What about?

- Doing handstands with Hugh Jackman. - Oh.

I kept thinking, "He's an attractive man."

Well, yeah, sure. Hey, about your show, about its duration...

- Morning. - Hey.

- Hey. - Hey, guys.

There's no juice. I'll get the juice.

- Okay. - Morning.

Sleep well?

Yeah. Well, I slept, then I was clinically dead for a while, I think.

I feel pretty rested. You?

I had a lovely evening with myself.

Hmm, nice. Well, eat up, because Jelmer has planned an epic show for us.

Hmm. Hmm.

Wow, this is hard.

Crazy, right?

Hey, not cool.

- The water was really cold. - Yeah, right, Bram.

I was tired.

- Hey, babe, these things happen. - Uh, no.

Sweetie, I'll make it up to you today.

If you don't think I'm attractive anymore, just say it.

Wanna do it right now?

How do I make tzatziki without yoghurt?

Uh, good morning?

Okay, I'm gonna go dive into the cold water.

Hey...

You're a pretty attractive woman, you know that?

Step one, step, step, step, step, step two.

Ladies and gentlemen.

What a boar, right?

Tit.

How about we be nice to each other?

I don't like this, uh... this weird vibe.

We're supposed to have fun, you know?

You'll ignore me the whole weekend?

Eefie!

- Hey, Jel! - Hey.

- You okay? - Sure.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

This is really fun, Jel. You did a great job organizing.

- Really? - Yeah. Really great.

Ah, that's great.

Could you come with me for a moment?

Why?

I... have a question for ya.

Hit me.

Uh, here?

What's wrong with here?

Yeah. All right.

Uh, sure.

Listen...

I'm sure it's very weird seeing me here, isn't it?

- Why, though? - Well, because I... I...

- Because I look a lot like my brother and... - Like Ollie? You think?

Yeah. Uh...

- People say that often. - Actually, I never noticed it myself.

Okay.

What did you wanna ask me?

Uh...

Wanna see the prize?

What are you saying? The prize?

Okay. Fine.

Okay.

Okay.

- Ready? - Yeah.

Ta-da!

Jel! No way!

Ollie's Zündapp!

Yeah.

Completely modernized and restored, yeah.

Oh.

- Aw, sweetheart. - Yeah, it was a lot of work, but, uh...

- I did it. - Such a good idea.

I used to hold him like this. Hmm.

Right.

Where did the car keys go?

Job!

No, sweetie, turn the camera around. Otherwise, I can only see the floor.

Job, do you know where the car keys are?

Papa's gonna fire up the barbecue now.

Here's Mommy. Bye.

Hey, sweethearts. No, sweetie, the screen is upside down.

And now the other... Oh.

- Well, that went well. - I guess the oldest is not that smart.

Well, this is fun.

Sure.

It's nice to get some time away from the kids.

When I look at those other men, I'm so happy with you.

Aw, that's sweet.

Come on.

We can still laugh together, right?

I've never made pulled pork with a boar,

but It's basically the same animal, isn't it?

I guess so. Or before you grill it, sous vide it for a bit.

Hmm. The charcoal's not dry enough. I knew it.

Wanna do something fun together?

- Hmm? - You know, like a trip.

The two of us, no kids.

Yeah, great. I love traveling.

But first I'm gonna take a trip to the wine cellar.

The keys.

- You want company? - You just keep on strumming, okay?

Do you remember? Lukewarm beer? Just enough money for a cheeseburger?

Let's not do this.

I think you might need to scream.

Feels nice. Let it all out.

Are you done?

Do you ever think about it?

It was just a holiday fling. I was 18. I would've jumped on anyone with a guitar.

You never told Eef about me, then?

No. Wasn't worth it.

- Hey, Eef. - Hey. I'm going to the bathroom. One sec.

Oh, okay.

Eef?

I wanted to say this earlier, but, uh...

It's unconventional to have this kind of conversation

while you're in the bathroom, but for me it works out.

I like that the door's closed, I mean.

Does that make sense?

It's not my place, I know that, but I think that I...

Of course, provided you like the idea too.

And it could sound weird 'cause I'm his brother and...

Sure, we both have to agree, but...

I think that I could be the man for you.

Sweetie, that one's occupied. I'd avoid the one upstairs if I were you.

- You dirty old man. - Oh, hey.

You dirty, dirty old man.

Fuck.

Nice words, though. Yeah.

- Okay-- - I thought you were a virgin

or asexual or whatever, but your sister-in-law?

You dirty playboy.

Uh, think we could, uh, keep this quiet?

Oh, I'm so bad with secrets, I'm sorry.

No one has to know. Come on.

Nah, nah, nah. What was the prize this year?

Job, don't.

- I can't tell you that. - No?

Then can I get five extra points?

- For Papa Job? - They would notice.

- Eef! - Wait!

I... could do one.

Just one.

- Eef! - Yeah?

Oh, hey.

Five.

- Uh, wanna join me for a glass of wine? - Yeah, sure, Job.

- Great. - Yeah. You, too?

- No. - No? Okay.

Five freaking cones.

Oh. Sick, man.

Can you bring me my coat, Titia?

What time is Ollie coming?

I will ask for you, okay?

Not the right temperature, but I didn't feel like waiting.

- Thank you, sweetie. - Here you go.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

Nice trailer.

Mmm.

- Wow! It's actually pretty roomy in here. - Feel free to borrow it anytime.

I think Kato would leave me immediately

if I wanted to go on vacation with this thing, so, uh, yes, please!

I, um...

What's this?

Well, I couldn't throw it away.

Oh.

So you'll have Ollie with you, kinda.

- Hey, did the boar work out all right? - Hmm?

- You wanted to cut it up yourself, no? - Yeah.

Just like you shot him yourself, didn't you?

What's going on?

I really like eating pulled pork, you know?

Keep your mouth shut, okay?

Of course. You get the spareribs from Philippe?

Yeah, of course.

You're terrible.

You really are.

Boys and girls, here's...

Jelmer!

I had this shit once at an Argentinian restaurant. Outstanding.

- This is really good. - Think so?

Okay, everyone.

Um, what is that?

You look like a penis.

A penis in a dress.

- Yeah, it's for later. - Doesn't he?

If you guys could finish eating, then we could probably...

Oh, Jesus. I hope you never lose your hair, Jelmer.

Good for me.

Right.

- I'm about ready for the... - We'll be right there, Jel.

- We'll be right there. - We can't wait.

Is that pubic hair?

Job, don't.

A hole with his hair.

And his cheeks! Did you do the makeup? Be honest.

Two flushed cheeks.

- He's nuts, you know. - Oh, come on.

- Well, he looks like a penis. - You look like a penis, too!

- What are you doing? - A dick with a beard.

- What is this? Calm down. - You do!

If the joke's about him, he can't take it.

Oh, they're having so much fun together. Tit, say something.

The fuck?

This isn't okay, man.

What are we looking at?

Uh, I guess it's a giant vulva.

- Nah, nah, nah. That is a cunt. - Ugh, yuck.

He's re-enacting a birth. He's re-enacting a birth!

Go, Jel!

Oh, my.

Chapter one.

Kindergarten.

Ollie went to kindergarten.

And there he met Job. Hey, Job!

Hey!

And Job said, "No, I wanna play with the ball!"

"I wanna play with the ball. Go away!"

Oh!

Jesus, Jelmer. Keep going.

- Keep going. - Let him finish his act.

Ooh, chapter two. High school. Sing along.

Yo!

Holy shit.

Jel.

Jel, will this take long?

- Hmm? - Oh, another 22 minutes.

Yup.

Why don't we move on to the awards ceremony?

Oh, uh, skip it completely?

Could we?

Uh, yeah. I had some, uh...

Couple more jokes. I also had fireworks.

But we could... we could... we could skip it.

Okay.

Are you ready?

Yes!

Um, the winner of this, uh, legendary...

Oh!

Okay, well, uh, the winner

of this legendary edition of the Ol-lympics, and...

Drum roll. It was a very tight race.

By just one cone,

the winner is...

Jobbie-bobbie!

Bram, you came in second.

Good, good.

- Pretty good. - How's it feel?

So great!

Yeah, what... What can I say?

You know, I guess I saw this coming.

- Prize! Prize! - Huh? Oh!

Oh, the studio folks just told me we're going straight to the prize.

Whoo!

Here, come on.

No!

Ollie's old Zündapp.

- No way! - Oh my goodness!

- That is so cool! - You're crazy!

This is so freaking awesome!

Three, two, one!

- Actually, I think we should share. - No way!

Seriously, we could all take turns.

Wait. How did it start?

Aad started... started it when we were very little,

and then Ollie took over at some point, and then, uh... Yeah.

We've been doing this for so many years.

- For Ollie, life was like a giant game. - Totally.

And he didn't like the rules.

He would say yes to everything,

just to try new things, to experience new things.

Remember that night he woke us up?

"Guys, we have to go to the beach right now!"

"The sea's shining! We have to go right now."

I remember that.

- I didn't see any shining algae. - Yeah. So fun.

I did weird shit with that guy back in the day.

You couldn't leave him alone.

it's a miracle he didn't spend every other week in prison, you know?

Even then he would've talked himself out of it.

He had such weird charisma.

- He was above the law. - He was so genuine.

And what were the last Ol-lympics like?

We didn't know at the time they'd be the last ones together.

Yup.

To experiences.

- To experiences! - To experiences.

Rock, paper...

Yeah.

Scissors.

Yeah, yeah? I told you. I told you.

He's nice, isn't he?

Sure.

But even if you'd brought Vladimir Putin, I don't think he'd...

We have a celebrity tonight, did you know that?

Ollie?

Out of the way!

Yes!

Take the cup!

Jelpie!

Jelpie!

Is Ollie here?

Yeah.

Nice, huh?

Ollie is here.

What are we doing?

Saying goodbye.

Oh. Great.

Hey.

Yeah.

What?

- Huh? - What's wrong?

Uh...

- He's not here. - What do you mean?

- It's empty. - What?

- How can it be empty? - It's empty? Really?

- Yeah! - Huh? Jesus!

- You're kidding. - Impossible.

You put it in that cup, didn't you?

Yeah, uh, we...

You saw it in the cup too, right?

Right, okay, yeah.

- Is it empty? - Yeah, Pa.

- It'll be fine. - Okay, wait. Okay, who had it last?

Jelmer.

I was the first one to go to bed!

I saw it on stage.

- You had it on the Zündapp. - That was before I saw it on the stage.

- When was that? - Yesterday.

- That's where you saw it last? - Yeah.

- Okay. - Yeah.

But there's no way.

- It'll be all right. - There's nothing in it.

All good, all good.

- He's not really gone, is he? - Nah. He'll be next to the podium.

He's not there.

- Huh? - Yeah, he's not there.

- No. - Jesus Christ.

Don't worry, sweetie.

We used to lose him all the time, right?

He'd show up a few days later

with a random story about a whore with a glass eye.

Where's Dad?

Uh, he was just here.

God dammit.

Dad?

- Okay. What now? - Well, I have no idea, Jelmer.

Guys. Even if you don't find him, remember, he's fucking here.

Dad?

What a twist.

- Well, I didn't put him in that trophy. - It was Job.

- Why would you wanna do that at all? - Hey, calm down.

Tit.

Whoa, Jel. Jelmer! Jesus.

- Jesus. Come on. Let's go sit down. - Job! Job!

- Wait a sec. - Pa!

Maybe he just went for a walk.

Pa doesn't go on walks.

Fuck.

Shit.

Hey.

You okay?

I have a splitting headache.

Here.

You should get out of the sun. It's way too hot.

Yeah.

Come.

Why did some people have to put him in that cup?

I thought it was a fun idea.

I should've stashed the ashes in a safe place from the beginning.

Don't you think he meant well?

Did he mean well, though? He never thinks things through.

- Let it go. - I do everything at home.

The kids, there's the laundry, and all the chores, I...

- If I don't do it, nothing gets done. - Calm down.

Ah, Tit, wait up.

Bonjour.

Can I ask you something?

Do you speak English?

No. He doesn't speak English. Or pretends he doesn't.

You never know with the French.

- What are you doing? - What's "man" in French?

Homme.

Homme. Have you seen un homme

avec un... uh...

This won't work.

Uh, suitcase?

Suitcase? Suitcase?

Suitcase. Or, um, petit... A petit suitcase?

So...

Okay. Merci.

What if... Purely hypothetical...

What if we don't find him?

Kato would just pass out, Tit would punch you in the face,

and Eef would never wanna see you again.

I'm sure of it.

No way. Okay. Yeah.

- Okay, he's not in there. - Okay.

- What haven't we checked? - The old stable and the wine cellar.

Oh, that old stable is so gross. Aad goes to poop there, I think.

Can you check, then?

Rock, paper, scissors.

The winner checks the wine cellar.

Mmm.

You know, sometimes I think, like,

- how great would it be to... - Leave everything behind?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Just leave everything, and make... - A new beginning?

...a new...

Yeah, well, I can't do that.

Why not?

I have a family

and kids.

Hi.

Mason.

What are you doing?

What's your name?

Laura.

Oh. Hi, Laura.

Do you always leave men hanging when they go in for a handshake?

Ah, that depends.

On what?

On how I'm feeling.

And how is Laura feeling?

- Well, Laura feels like one day, she-- - Shh.

- I think Laura feels like doing this. - No. Don't. Don't...

- Or this. - No, we really can't.

- Wait, I don't think you should... - Pa! Pa!

Leave me alone!

- I'm just trying to help. - This is your fault.

What? Seriously?

Listen, this is my father and those ashes are my brother's.

I know, and I'm worried too, but all this panic is useless.

Fuck off. Come on.

Ah! How did I lose?

I found him, guys! Okay!

Fuck!

Everything's fine!

- Hey! - Hey! Yeah.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Uh, I found him. - Yeah, I heard.

Oh. You can stop looking.

Uh, right.

Hey where did you find him after all?

He was in my room.

Oh. Well...

It's all good now?

So it seems. Yeah.

Hey, uh, should we get everyone?

- Okay. - Yeah?

And I'll get some champagne.

And I'll get the cup.

- Okay. Perfect. - Okay.

Come.

- Jel? - Yo.

- So? - He's gone.

- Yes, we only found his coat. - His coat?

Yeah, nothing else. What's with the champagne?

Well, Jel found Ollie.

- Really? - Yeah.

Oh, great.

Not Dad, though.

- So? - Ollie was found, Aad wasn't.

- Ah, shit. - Only his coat.

- We've got him! - Here he is.

- And Aad? - No, we only found his coat.

- Are you serious? - Well, fuck.

I think we should split up. Jel, stay here in case Aad comes back.

Tit, where did you go when you were with Eef?

What the fuck?

What is this, Jel?

No, no, no, no, no.

- Okay, guys-- - What were you thinking?

Take it easy.

- Are you goddamn nuts? - Why would you do that?

- Take it easy. - I wanted to save the day, okay?

I had no choice.

I get it, you're doing this for Eef,

but right now, it's really not about your feelings.

No, Job.

- Guys... - Wait, please. We weren't gonna do this.

...Jelmer is in love with Eef.

- Uh, what? - Yeah.

- Oh. - Job.

- Madly in love. - Jel.

This is not the right moment.

Okay, let's focus for a second on why we're here.

Yeah, I'm trying to. I'm trying, with every ounce of my being,

but that's pretty tough to do when two people who don't belong together

are on top of each other in the stables!

Whoa, what?

- Uh, I think we need a timeout. - Whoa, what did you say, Jel?

Bram and your sister,

I saw them having...

sex and stuff.

- You're out of line, dude. - Is this true?

Of course not! Babe...

Is this true?

Forgive me, please.

It didn't mean anything.

Uh, it didn't mean anything. Hon, sweetie, sweetie!

Hey! Whoa!

- I can't believe it. - Sweetie.

- Stay away, get off me! - Job, please...

Tell me what happened.

- Not now-- - I said stay away from me, Kato.

I wanna know precisely and exactly what happened in there.

- Who started it? - I didn't want...

Did you start it?

Huh? What? I...

Both?

Okay. Show me, then.

- What? - Huh?

Show me what you did.

Fine, I'll do it myself.

- Job, wait-- - Were you standing up?

Let's not do this right now.

- What? - Were you standing up?

So you were standing like this? And then?

You kissed, I'm assuming?

- Yeah. - Yeah?

- Are you Deaf? - Yeah. Uh...

We kissed.

- Come on. - Job.

What?

Come on, what?

Kiss.

And then? Did you get a blowjob?

- Stop it, Job. - Did you blow him?

I just went down on her, and we...

Dude, sorry, I'm sorry, but...

Jesus, what a fucked up weekend.

For once, will you shut up?

You're negative about everything.

Being around you is like being around poison.

You make people sick, Titia.

I totally get why your father took off.

Kat.

Tit.

Fucking amateur.

Eef!

Eef.

- We already knew each other-- - I don't wanna hear it.

Please don't leave now. That doesn't solve anything.

But sitting on your brother-in-law's dick totally solves something, doesn't it?

Will you please listen to me for one second?

The whole weekend, everybody whined I even brought the damn guy.

Nobody asked me why I brought him. How I am. No one asked.

That's not true. I remember asking.

You only did it for yourself so you can sleep at night.

Eef!

Wait!

Hope you two have fun.

Eef!

Eefie! Eef! Don't do this!

Hey, wait a minute!

Eef!

Eef?

Eef? No, no, no, no. Not the guitar! Eef!

Come on!

No.

No, listen.

My father. I'm looking for my father.

Honey, I... I think we need to talk about this, don't you?

Hey you know, our toothpaste...

Uh, what?

It's a good brand, isn't it?

I... Sweetie--

What do you think? Should we risk it and just try a different a brand?

I just had sex with someone else, and you're talking about toothpaste?

- This one's pretty good. - Job, you can't not react to this.

I'll, uh, go lie down. When I wake up, we forget everything.

We just go back to normal.

Hey, Aad.

- Is everything all right? - Yeah.

Did you go for a walk?

I had an appointment.

Great.

We missed each other, though.

Do you also have an appointment?

Uh, yeah.

- Yeah. - Ah.

Yeah.

And?

I, uh... I'm on my way. You know?

Great.

Eefie?

How lovely to see you.

You too.

You too.

Yeah.

Yes. Yes.

My father...

His name is Aad Zomers. He's lost.

Hello?

Hello?

On hold again. Unbelievable.

I don't know anymore.

I am so pissed.

With me?

With everyone.

It's just not fair that Ollie's not here.

And we are.

Every day, I think...

I wish I was gone instead.

I'm glad we still have each other, Jelmer.

Me too.

Bram!

- Come on. - What?

- Let's go. - Okay.

Yeah.

- What's that? - Huh?

What the fuck?

Job?

- Job! - No!

Okay. Come out for a sec.

I've had enough for today.

- Say something. - Uh, it's... it's really important.

Fuck off.

Your wife took off on a moped.

Yeah, that's her problem.

Yeah, but there was someone on the back.

So to speak.

Where is she?

- Eef! Turn around! - Dad! Where were you?

Come on.

I told you, don't go beyond the driveway!

- What are you doing? - Lemme drive.

- I'll drive. - We're in a hurry!

Sit, right now.

- God damn it... - Pa!

All right let's go!

- Go, go, go! - Go! Jelmer!

Sit down. I can't see a thing.

Whoo!

Once we get over that hill, we'll see them.

- Job, relax! - I am relaxed!

There's a strong gas smell. Is that normal?

I'm gonna punch all his teeth out. Faster!

There they are!

Over there!

Yeah, right there!

- Wait! - Come on, come on!

Remember the first time we came here?

Remember how we thought it was wonderful?

- You're drunk. - No. No, I'm not drunk.

What do you want?

I want to scatter my best friend's ashes.

And I... I don't want you to leave.

You're turning your life upside down because of one weekend, Kato.

It's not just one weekend, Job.

You don't listen.

- You're not there. - Shit.

- I'm sorry. - Since Ollie...

- Damn it. - I miss you.

- I miss you too. - Fuck! How is this possible?

Maybe we can wrap this weekend up together

- and see if we-- - Yeah! Yeah!

Hey! That belongs to Ollie.

- Kat, come on, let's go. - Hey!

- That belongs to Ollie. - What the fuck?

That belongs to Ollie!

Deep breaths, okay?

- Fucking lunatic. - Get him, Job!

- That belongs to Ollie. - Okay!

- Job! - Stay civil.

- Job, get him! - Hey!

Job!

- Good, get him! - Wait, guys. Jesus! Well...

Are you done? Get back here now. You're done.

Come on, let's go.

Eef?

- Eef? - Let's go to Portugal. Algarve.

No?

Unbelievable.

Unbelievable!

This was the dumbest weekend of my goddamn life.

You're all completely crazy.

With that stupid act and those kids' games.

You are the dumbest showman I've ever seen.

You made such a big deal about this sacred weekend,

with your awkward dinners.

Fuck all that shit, man!

Eef, we're done, eh?

You people are fake.

Fake, fake, fake, fake, fake.

I never knew Ollie, but the Ol-lympics?

This has gotta be the stupidest thing I've ever--

Ah! Ah!

What the fuck?

Jesus, Tit!

She's freaking crazy!

All right. And now I will say goodbye to my son, you goddamn asshole.

What the fuck?

Fuck!

You're all crazy!

Hey!

Hey, don't leave me!

Hey!

Hey! Hey!

Come back!

You okay, Dad?

Yup.

Someone really has to tell him what's going on.

Yeah.

Pa.

Okay.

Are you coming?

Yeah, there's, uh, one more thing I need to do.

I think Ollie would've laughed at us so hard, don't you?

Yeah.

I still can't believe it's true.

I just feel like any moment now, Ollie will show up here.

But yeah.

And now?

I think I might stay here for a bit.

If you don't mind.

There's plenty of room.

So, one broken marriage and a few burn-outs later, here we are.

It looks delicious, Tit.

Thank you.

Jel.

Me?

Uh, Pa?

Oh, right. I better leave.

- Sit, please. - I have an appointment.

- Well... - Ollie will be here soon.

Pa, Ollie's not coming.

Uh...

- Pa? - Mmm?

What's in your suitcase?

Right.

No.

- What the fuck? - What?

Well, we scattered it together after all.

I had higher expectations.

I have an idea.

You okay, Dad?

Watch out.

Be careful, use both hands.

- Whoa, watch out. - Not too much.

Yes, Dad.

I'm gonna light 'em up and then, uh...

Fire flowers.

- That's right, Pa, fire flowers. - Yep.

Great.

Oh, okay.

All right.

Okay.

Where is he?

He's coming. Above that tree, over there.

Oh yeah?

No, you have to do this.

Every time you get out, you have to do this.

I'm 100% sure you did this.

Yeah, didn't she do...? Yeah.