Original subtitles

>>> YOU'RE WATCHING "FOX AND FRIENDS." >>> GOOD MORNING.

FRIENDS." >>> GOOD MORNING. WELCOME TO "FOX AND FRIENDS."

>>> GOOD MORNING. WELCOME TO "FOX AND FRIENDS." I'M STEVE DOOCY HERE WITH MY

WELCOME TO "FOX AND FRIENDS." I'M STEVE DOOCY HERE WITH MY GOOD FRIENDS BRIAN KILMEADE AND

I'M STEVE DOOCY HERE WITH MY GOOD FRIENDS BRIAN KILMEADE AND AINSLEY EARHARDT.

GOOD FRIENDS BRIAN KILMEADE AND AINSLEY EARHARDT. >> THANK YOU, STEVE, AS ALWAYS,

AINSLEY EARHARDT. >> THANK YOU, STEVE, AS ALWAYS, WE'RE COMING TO

>> THANK YOU, STEVE, AS ALWAYS, WE'RE COMING TO YOU LIVE FROM NEW YORK CITY.

WE'RE COMING TO YOU LIVE FROM NEW YORK CITY. NEW YORK, WHAT A CESSPOOL.

YOU LIVE FROM NEW YORK CITY. NEW YORK, WHAT A CESSPOOL. >> I KNOW.

NEW YORK, WHAT A CESSPOOL. >> I KNOW. THAT'S A DEMOCRAT-RUN CITY FOR

>> I KNOW. THAT'S A DEMOCRAT-RUN CITY FOR YOU.

THAT'S A DEMOCRAT-RUN CITY FOR YOU. >> I KNOW.

YOU. >> I KNOW. JUST TODAY I WAS PUSHED ON TO

>> I KNOW. JUST TODAY I WAS PUSHED ON TO THE SUBWAY TRACKS BY A HOMELESS

JUST TODAY I WAS PUSHED ON TO THE SUBWAY TRACKS BY A HOMELESS MAN AND THEN PUSHED BACK ON THE

THE SUBWAY TRACKS BY A HOMELESS MAN AND THEN PUSHED BACK ON THE PLATFORM BY RATS.

MAN AND THEN PUSHED BACK ON THE PLATFORM BY RATS. >> THAT'S TERRIBLE!

PLATFORM BY RATS. >> THAT'S TERRIBLE! WELL, YOU MAY HAVE HEARD THAT

>> THAT'S TERRIBLE! WELL, YOU MAY HAVE HEARD THAT FOX NEWS IS CURRENTLY FACING A

WELL, YOU MAY HAVE HEARD THAT FOX NEWS IS CURRENTLY FACING A $1.6 BILLION LAWSUIT FROM

FOX NEWS IS CURRENTLY FACING A $1.6 BILLION LAWSUIT FROM DOMINION VOTING SYSTEMS.

$1.6 BILLION LAWSUIT FROM DOMINION VOTING SYSTEMS. >> I'M SURPRISED.

DOMINION VOTING SYSTEMS. >> I'M SURPRISED. I'M A FAN OF DA MINIONS.

>> I'M SURPRISED. I'M A FAN OF DA MINIONS. THE YELLOW GUYS IN THE OVERALLS.

I'M A FAN OF DA MINIONS. THE YELLOW GUYS IN THE OVERALLS. BANANA!

THE YELLOW GUYS IN THE OVERALLS. BANANA! >> NO, BRIAN, NOT THE MINIONS.

BANANA! >> NO, BRIAN, NOT THE MINIONS. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE DOMINION

>> NO, BRIAN, NOT THE MINIONS. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE DOMINION VOTING MACHINES LAWSUIT AND OUR

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE DOMINION VOTING MACHINES LAWSUIT AND OUR BOSS RUPERT MURDOCH GAVE SOME

VOTING MACHINES LAWSUIT AND OUR BOSS RUPERT MURDOCH GAVE SOME PRETTY SHOCKING TESTIMONY IN THE

BOSS RUPERT MURDOCH GAVE SOME PRETTY SHOCKING TESTIMONY IN THE CASE.

PRETTY SHOCKING TESTIMONY IN THE CASE. >> THIS WHOLE TRIAL HAS BEEN SO

CASE. >> THIS WHOLE TRIAL HAS BEEN SO UNFAIR.

>> THIS WHOLE TRIAL HAS BEEN SO UNFAIR. THEY ARE RAKING HIM OVER THE

UNFAIR. THEY ARE RAKING HIM OVER THE COALS.

THEY ARE RAKING HIM OVER THE COALS. RUPERT MURDOCH WOULD NEVER

COALS. RUPERT MURDOCH WOULD NEVER MURDER ANYONE.

RUPERT MURDOCH WOULD NEVER MURDER ANYONE. >> WHAT?

MURDER ANYONE. >> WHAT? >> THEY SENT HIM AWAY FOR LIFE.

>> WHAT? >> THEY SENT HIM AWAY FOR LIFE. LOOK HOW SAD HE LOOKS.

>> THEY SENT HIM AWAY FOR LIFE. LOOK HOW SAD HE LOOKS. WHERE'S THAT PICTURE I FOUND OF

LOOK HOW SAD HE LOOKS. WHERE'S THAT PICTURE I FOUND OF HIM?

WHERE'S THAT PICTURE I FOUND OF HIM? >> THAT'S NOT RUPERT MURDOCH.

HIM? >> THAT'S NOT RUPERT MURDOCH. THAT'S ALEX MURDAUGH.

>> THAT'S NOT RUPERT MURDOCH. THAT'S ALEX MURDAUGH.

THAT'S ALEX MURDAUGH.

ANYWAY, RUPERT MURDOCH ADMITTED

ANYWAY, RUPERT MURDOCH ADMITTED FOX NEWS AIRED ELECTION FRAUD

ANYWAY, RUPERT MURDOCH ADMITTED FOX NEWS AIRED ELECTION FRAUD CONSPIRACIES TO GET RATINGS EVEN

FOX NEWS AIRED ELECTION FRAUD CONSPIRACIES TO GET RATINGS EVEN THOUGH EVERYONE HERE KNEW THEY

CONSPIRACIES TO GET RATINGS EVEN THOUGH EVERYONE HERE KNEW THEY WERE FALSE.

THOUGH EVERYONE HERE KNEW THEY WERE FALSE. >> UH-OH, I DIDN'T.

WERE FALSE. >> UH-OH, I DIDN'T. LOOP A BROTHER IN NEXT TIME.

>> UH-OH, I DIDN'T. LOOP A BROTHER IN NEXT TIME. >> NOW, YOU MAY BE WONDERING IF

LOOP A BROTHER IN NEXT TIME. >> NOW, YOU MAY BE WONDERING IF IT'S SUCH A BIG STORY, WHY

>> NOW, YOU MAY BE WONDERING IF IT'S SUCH A BIG STORY, WHY HAVEN'T I HEARD ABOUT IT ON FOX?

IT'S SUCH A BIG STORY, WHY HAVEN'T I HEARD ABOUT IT ON FOX? >> I THINK IT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE

HAVEN'T I HEARD ABOUT IT ON FOX? >> I THINK IT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE SUING US FOR $1.6 BILLION, SO

>> I THINK IT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE SUING US FOR $1.6 BILLION, SO >> NO.

SUING US FOR $1.6 BILLION, SO >> NO. IT'S BECAUSE IT'S COMPLETE BS.

>> NO. IT'S BECAUSE IT'S COMPLETE BS. THE MEDIA IS TAKING TWEETS AND

IT'S BECAUSE IT'S COMPLETE BS. THE MEDIA IS TAKING TWEETS AND PUTTING THEM COMPLETELY OUT OF

THE MEDIA IS TAKING TWEETS AND PUTTING THEM COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTEXT.

PUTTING THEM COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTEXT. >> LIKE THIS ONE.

CONTEXT. >> LIKE THIS ONE. RUDY GIULIANI IS INSANE.

>> LIKE THIS ONE. RUDY GIULIANI IS INSANE. HOW COULD YOU LEAVE OUT THE

RUDY GIULIANI IS INSANE. HOW COULD YOU LEAVE OUT THE REST?

HOW COULD YOU LEAVE OUT THE REST? IT'S RUDY GIULIANI IS INSANELY

REST? IT'S RUDY GIULIANI IS INSANELY HOT.

IT'S RUDY GIULIANI IS INSANELY HOT. I WANT TO LICK THAT HEAD DYE

HOT. I WANT TO LICK THAT HEAD DYE RIGHT OFF.

I WANT TO LICK THAT HEAD DYE RIGHT OFF. >> WHO WOULDN'T?

RIGHT OFF. >> WHO WOULDN'T? AND SOME MESSAGES THEY SHOWED AT

>> WHO WOULDN'T? AND SOME MESSAGES THEY SHOWED AT THE TRIAL DIDN'T RELATE TO THE

AND SOME MESSAGES THEY SHOWED AT THE TRIAL DIDN'T RELATE TO THE LAWSUIT AT ALL.

THE TRIAL DIDN'T RELATE TO THE LAWSUIT AT ALL. FOR EXAMPLE, THE TEXT, MIND

LAWSUIT AT ALL. FOR EXAMPLE, THE TEXT, MIND BLOWINGLY-NUTS, OFF THE RAILS,

FOR EXAMPLE, THE TEXT, MIND BLOWINGLY-NUTS, OFF THE RAILS, AND F'ing LUNATIC WERE ALL SENT

BLOWINGLY-NUTS, OFF THE RAILS, AND F'ing LUNATIC WERE ALL SENT IN RESPONSE TO LAURA INGRAM'S

AND F'ing LUNATIC WERE ALL SENT IN RESPONSE TO LAURA INGRAM'S TEXT, WHAT SHOULD I PUT IN MY

IN RESPONSE TO LAURA INGRAM'S TEXT, WHAT SHOULD I PUT IN MY TINDER BIO?

TEXT, WHAT SHOULD I PUT IN MY TINDER BIO? >> YOU GO, GIRL.

TINDER BIO? >> YOU GO, GIRL. >> I'M DOWN AT CPAC RIGHT NOW,

>> YOU GO, GIRL. >> I'M DOWN AT CPAC RIGHT NOW, AND IT IS AN ABSOLUTE BLAST.

>> I'M DOWN AT CPAC RIGHT NOW, AND IT IS AN ABSOLUTE BLAST. I WAS JUST OVER AT THE BIDEN DID

AND IT IS AN ABSOLUTE BLAST. I WAS JUST OVER AT THE BIDEN DID YOU THINK TANK.

I WAS JUST OVER AT THE BIDEN DID YOU THINK TANK. IT'S NOT THE REAL BIDEN YOU DID

YOU THINK TANK. IT'S NOT THE REAL BIDEN YOU DID YOU THINK, BUT THE ACTOR IS JUST

IT'S NOT THE REAL BIDEN YOU DID YOU THINK, BUT THE ACTOR IS JUST AS OLD, SO YOU NEVER KNOW IF

YOU THINK, BUT THE ACTOR IS JUST AS OLD, SO YOU NEVER KNOW IF HE'S COMING BACK UP.

AS OLD, SO YOU NEVER KNOW IF HE'S COMING BACK UP. THERE'S REAL RISK THERE.

HE'S COMING BACK UP. THERE'S REAL RISK THERE. >> THAT'S GREAT.

THERE'S REAL RISK THERE. >> THAT'S GREAT. WE'RE GLAD TO HAVE YOU ON, BUT

>> THAT'S GREAT. WE'RE GLAD TO HAVE YOU ON, BUT BECAUSE OF THIS LAWSUIT, OUR

WE'RE GLAD TO HAVE YOU ON, BUT BECAUSE OF THIS LAWSUIT, OUR LAWYERS HAVE ASKED YOU PLEASE

BECAUSE OF THIS LAWSUIT, OUR LAWYERS HAVE ASKED YOU PLEASE DON'T SAY ANYTHING CRAZY ABOUT

LAWYERS HAVE ASKED YOU PLEASE DON'T SAY ANYTHING CRAZY ABOUT DOMINION.

DON'T SAY ANYTHING CRAZY ABOUT DOMINION. >> NO PROBLEM.

DOMINION. >> NO PROBLEM. I HAVE BEEN BRIEFED.

>> NO PROBLEM. I HAVE BEEN BRIEFED. I KNOW THE RULES.

I HAVE BEEN BRIEFED. I KNOW THE RULES. EVERY DOMINION MACHINE HAS A

I KNOW THE RULES. EVERY DOMINION MACHINE HAS A VENEZUELAN OOMPAH LOOMPAH INSIDE

EVERY DOMINION MACHINE HAS A VENEZUELAN OOMPAH LOOMPAH INSIDE THAT EATS THE VOTES WITH ITS

VENEZUELAN OOMPAH LOOMPAH INSIDE THAT EATS THE VOTES WITH ITS LITTLE MOUTH.

THAT EATS THE VOTES WITH ITS LITTLE MOUTH. >> MIKE, GOT TO CUT YOU OFF

LITTLE MOUTH. >> MIKE, GOT TO CUT YOU OFF THERE, PAL.

>> MIKE, GOT TO CUT YOU OFF THERE, PAL. WE CAN'T BE SAYING WHATEVER

THERE, PAL. WE CAN'T BE SAYING WHATEVER ANYMORE.

WE CAN'T BE SAYING WHATEVER ANYMORE. >> OF COURSE.

ANYMORE. >> OF COURSE. LET ME CHOOSE MY WORDS

>> OF COURSE. LET ME CHOOSE MY WORDS CAREFULLY.

LET ME CHOOSE MY WORDS CAREFULLY. DOMINION VOTING MACHINES GIVE

CAREFULLY. DOMINION VOTING MACHINES GIVE TRIPLE VOTES TO DEMOCRATS,

DOMINION VOTING MACHINES GIVE TRIPLE VOTES TO DEMOCRATS, ILLEGALS AND THAT LADY M&M THAT

TRIPLE VOTES TO DEMOCRATS, ILLEGALS AND THAT LADY M&M THAT STOPPED SHAVING HER PITS.

ILLEGALS AND THAT LADY M&M THAT STOPPED SHAVING HER PITS. >> MIKE!

STOPPED SHAVING HER PITS. >> MIKE! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO END IT

>> MIKE! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO END IT THERE.

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO END IT THERE. >> THAT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST.

THERE. >> THAT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST. I HAVE TO SAY THIS WHOLE

>> THAT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST. I HAVE TO SAY THIS WHOLE DOMINION THING HAS BEEN A

I HAVE TO SAY THIS WHOLE DOMINION THING HAS BEEN A NIGHTMARE FOR ME AND MY FAMILY,

DOMINION THING HAS BEEN A NIGHTMARE FOR ME AND MY FAMILY, ESPECIALLY MY WIFE.

NIGHTMARE FOR ME AND MY FAMILY, ESPECIALLY MY WIFE. SORRY, PILLOWMINA, YOU KNOW IT'S

ESPECIALLY MY WIFE. SORRY, PILLOWMINA, YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE.

SORRY, PILLOWMINA, YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE. >> ALL RIGHT.

TRUE. >> ALL RIGHT. WELL, LET'S TAKE A BREAK.

>> ALL RIGHT. WELL, LET'S TAKE A BREAK. WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'LL TALK

WELL, LET'S TAKE A BREAK. WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'LL TALK MORE ABOUT THE ALEX MURDAUGH

WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'LL TALK MORE ABOUT THE ALEX MURDAUGH SENTENCING WITH OUR FOX CRIME

MORE ABOUT THE ALEX MURDAUGH SENTENCING WITH OUR FOX CRIME EXPERT, O.J. SIMPSON.

SENTENCING WITH OUR FOX CRIME EXPERT, O.J. SIMPSON. >> WHAT?

EXPERT, O.J. SIMPSON. >> WHAT? MAN, I DON'T KNOW WHY EVERYBODY

>> WHAT? MAN, I DON'T KNOW WHY EVERYBODY THINKS I'M AN EXPERT ON THIS.

MAN, I DON'T KNOW WHY EVERYBODY THINKS I'M AN EXPERT ON THIS. SHOOT, BOOKING ME ON THE SHOW

THINKS I'M AN EXPERT ON THIS. SHOOT, BOOKING ME ON THE SHOW WITHOUT TELLING ME WHY.

SHOOT, BOOKING ME ON THE SHOW WITHOUT TELLING ME WHY. MAKES ME SO MAD I COULD JUST --

WITHOUT TELLING ME WHY. MAKES ME SO MAD I COULD JUST -- NAH, I'M OKAY.

MAKES ME SO MAD I COULD JUST -- NAH, I'M OKAY. AND HEY, MAN, LIVE FROM NEW

NAH, I'M OKAY. AND HEY, MAN, LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT.

AND HEY, MAN, LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? >> Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? >> Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" WITH --

.......

FEATURING --

MUSICAL GUEST KELSEA BALLERINI! AND YOUR HOST, TRAVIS KELCE. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, TRAVIS

AND YOUR HOST, TRAVIS KELCE. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, TRAVIS KELCE!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH.

>>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH. IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE.

YOU SO VERY MUCH. IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE. AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW, I JUST

IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE. AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW, I JUST WON MY SECOND SUPER BOWL.

AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW, I JUST WON MY SECOND SUPER BOWL. OH, MAN.

WON MY SECOND SUPER BOWL. OH, MAN. WHICH WAS AMAZING.

OH, MAN. WHICH WAS AMAZING. BUT FOR ME, HOSTING SNL IS THAT

WHICH WAS AMAZING. BUT FOR ME, HOSTING SNL IS THAT MUCH BETTER, BABY.

BUT FOR ME, HOSTING SNL IS THAT MUCH BETTER, BABY. I'M LYING TO YOU ALL.

MUCH BETTER, BABY. I'M LYING TO YOU ALL. I'M LYING.

I'M LYING TO YOU ALL. I'M LYING. I'M KIDDING.

I'M LYING. I'M KIDDING. WINNING THE SUPER BOWL WAS WAY

I'M KIDDING. WINNING THE SUPER BOWL WAS WAY BETTER.

WINNING THE SUPER BOWL WAS WAY BETTER. BUT SERIOUSLY.

BETTER. BUT SERIOUSLY. [ LAUGHTER ]

BUT SERIOUSLY. [ LAUGHTER ] SERIOUSLY, I'M HONORED THAT SNL

[ LAUGHTER ] SERIOUSLY, I'M HONORED THAT SNL ASKED ME TO HOST.

SERIOUSLY, I'M HONORED THAT SNL ASKED ME TO HOST. I WAS NERVOUS ABOUT DOING A

ASKED ME TO HOST. I WAS NERVOUS ABOUT DOING A MONOLOGUE, BUT THEN I

I WAS NERVOUS ABOUT DOING A MONOLOGUE, BUT THEN I REMEMBERED, I'M PRETTY GOOD WITH

MONOLOGUE, BUT THEN I REMEMBERED, I'M PRETTY GOOD WITH WORDS.

REMEMBERED, I'M PRETTY GOOD WITH WORDS. I'M PRETTY GOOD WITH WORDS, LIKE

WORDS. I'M PRETTY GOOD WITH WORDS, LIKE DURING GAMES, I DO THESE SUPER

I'M PRETTY GOOD WITH WORDS, LIKE DURING GAMES, I DO THESE SUPER ELOQUENT PUMP-UP SPEECHES FOR MY

DURING GAMES, I DO THESE SUPER ELOQUENT PUMP-UP SPEECHES FOR MY TEAMMATES.

ELOQUENT PUMP-UP SPEECHES FOR MY TEAMMATES. PLEASE WATCH.

TEAMMATES. PLEASE WATCH. MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE,

PLEASE WATCH. MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE.

MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE. AND SOMETIMES I EVEN DO IT IN MY

MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE. AND SOMETIMES I EVEN DO IT IN MY PAT MAHOMES VOICE, MORE, MORE,

AND SOMETIMES I EVEN DO IT IN MY PAT MAHOMES VOICE, MORE, MORE, DO IT, DO IT.

PAT MAHOMES VOICE, MORE, MORE, DO IT, DO IT. LOVE YOU, PAT.

DO IT, DO IT. LOVE YOU, PAT. PROBABLY THE COOLEST THING ABOUT

LOVE YOU, PAT. PROBABLY THE COOLEST THING ABOUT THIS SUPER BOWL IS THAT MY WHOLE

PROBABLY THE COOLEST THING ABOUT THIS SUPER BOWL IS THAT MY WHOLE FAMILY WAS THERE.

THIS SUPER BOWL IS THAT MY WHOLE FAMILY WAS THERE. I GOT TO PLAY AGAINST MY BROTHER

FAMILY WAS THERE. I GOT TO PLAY AGAINST MY BROTHER JASON, WHO IS AN EAGLE.

I GOT TO PLAY AGAINST MY BROTHER JASON, WHO IS AN EAGLE. [ APPLAUSE ]

JASON, WHO IS AN EAGLE. [ APPLAUSE ] AND MY MOM WAS ON TV MORE THAN

[ APPLAUSE ] AND MY MOM WAS ON TV MORE THAN BOTH OF US.

AND MY MOM WAS ON TV MORE THAN BOTH OF US. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

BOTH OF US. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] MY MOM, DAD, AND BROTHER ARE ALL

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] MY MOM, DAD, AND BROTHER ARE ALL HERE TONIGHT.

MY MOM, DAD, AND BROTHER ARE ALL HERE TONIGHT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

HERE TONIGHT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YOU KNOW, PEOP KEEP ASKING ME

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YOU KNOW, PEOP KEEP ASKING ME WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BEAT MY

YOU KNOW, PEOP KEEP ASKING ME WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BEAT MY BROTHER IN THE SUPER BOWL, AND

WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BEAT MY BROTHER IN THE SUPER BOWL, AND IT WAS PRETTY AWKWARD.

BROTHER IN THE SUPER BOWL, AND IT WAS PRETTY AWKWARD. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE AFTER THE

IT WAS PRETTY AWKWARD. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE AFTER THE GAME, WE HAD TO RIDE HOME

ESPECIALLY BECAUSE AFTER THE GAME, WE HAD TO RIDE HOME TOGETHER.

GAME, WE HAD TO RIDE HOME TOGETHER. OUR MOM DROVE US THERE IN HER

TOGETHER. OUR MOM DROVE US THERE IN HER MINI VAN, JUST LIKE THE GOOD OLD

OUR MOM DROVE US THERE IN HER MINI VAN, JUST LIKE THE GOOD OLD DAYS.

MINI VAN, JUST LIKE THE GOOD OLD DAYS. EVEN THOUGH HIS TEAM LOST AFTER

DAYS. EVEN THOUGH HIS TEAM LOST AFTER BEING UP TEN POINTS AT HALF, MY

EVEN THOUGH HIS TEAM LOST AFTER BEING UP TEN POINTS AT HALF, MY BROTHER IS ACTUALLY REALLY HAPPY

BEING UP TEN POINTS AT HALF, MY BROTHER IS ACTUALLY REALLY HAPPY FOR ME.

BROTHER IS ACTUALLY REALLY HAPPY FOR ME. AND HE AGREES THAT THE REF MADE

FOR ME. AND HE AGREES THAT THE REF MADE THE RIGHT CALL.

AND HE AGREES THAT THE REF MADE THE RIGHT CALL. IT WAS A HOLDING.

THE RIGHT CALL. IT WAS A HOLDING. [ LAUGHTER ]

IT WAS A HOLDING. [ LAUGHTER ] JASON AND I HAVE BEEN PLAYING

[ LAUGHTER ] JASON AND I HAVE BEEN PLAYING FOOTBALL TOGETHER SINCE WE WERE

JASON AND I HAVE BEEN PLAYING FOOTBALL TOGETHER SINCE WE WERE LITTLE KIDS.

FOOTBALL TOGETHER SINCE WE WERE LITTLE KIDS. AND HE WAS ALWAYS BETTER THAN

LITTLE KIDS. AND HE WAS ALWAYS BETTER THAN ME -- AT EVERYTHING.

AND HE WAS ALWAYS BETTER THAN ME -- AT EVERYTHING. IN HIGH SCHOOL, HE WAS AN HONOR

ME -- AT EVERYTHING. IN HIGH SCHOOL, HE WAS AN HONOR STUDENT, AND I GOT KICKED OFF

IN HIGH SCHOOL, HE WAS AN HONOR STUDENT, AND I GOT KICKED OFF THE TEAM BECAUSE I FAILED

STUDENT, AND I GOT KICKED OFF THE TEAM BECAUSE I FAILED FRENCH, AND ENGLISH TOO, BUT

THE TEAM BECAUSE I FAILED FRENCH, AND ENGLISH TOO, BUT FRENCH SOUNDS WAY BETTER.

FRENCH, AND ENGLISH TOO, BUT FRENCH SOUNDS WAY BETTER. AND THEN, WHEN WE WERE IN

FRENCH SOUNDS WAY BETTER. AND THEN, WHEN WE WERE IN COLLEGE, I ACTUALLY GOT KICKED

AND THEN, WHEN WE WERE IN COLLEGE, I ACTUALLY GOT KICKED OFF THE TEAM BECAUSE I TESTED

COLLEGE, I ACTUALLY GOT KICKED OFF THE TEAM BECAUSE I TESTED POSITIVE FOR MARIJUANA.

OFF THE TEAM BECAUSE I TESTED POSITIVE FOR MARIJUANA. SO IT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU, IF

POSITIVE FOR MARIJUANA. SO IT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU, IF YOU SMOKE WEED AND ARE BAD AT

SO IT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU, IF YOU SMOKE WEED AND ARE BAD AT SCHOOL, YOU CAN WIN THE SUPER

YOU SMOKE WEED AND ARE BAD AT SCHOOL, YOU CAN WIN THE SUPER BOWL TWICE.

SCHOOL, YOU CAN WIN THE SUPER BOWL TWICE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

BOWL TWICE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THIS ISN'T MY FIRST TIME HOSTING

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THIS ISN'T MY FIRST TIME HOSTING A TV SHOW.

THIS ISN'T MY FIRST TIME HOSTING A TV SHOW. I ACTUALLY HAD MY OWN DATES SHOW

A TV SHOW. I ACTUALLY HAD MY OWN DATES SHOW ON E CALLED CATCHING KELCE.

I ACTUALLY HAD MY OWN DATES SHOW ON E CALLED CATCHING KELCE. IT WAS LIKE THE BACHELOR EXCEPT

ON E CALLED CATCHING KELCE. IT WAS LIKE THE BACHELOR EXCEPT INSTEAD OF HANDING OUT ROSES, I

IT WAS LIKE THE BACHELOR EXCEPT INSTEAD OF HANDING OUT ROSES, I HANDED OUT FOOTBALLS, AND

INSTEAD OF HANDING OUT ROSES, I HANDED OUT FOOTBALLS, AND INSTEAD OF WATCHING, PEOPLE DID

HANDED OUT FOOTBALLS, AND INSTEAD OF WATCHING, PEOPLE DID NOT.

INSTEAD OF WATCHING, PEOPLE DID NOT. WHICH WAS A LITTLE BIT

NOT. WHICH WAS A LITTLE BIT EMBARRASSING.

WHICH WAS A LITTLE BIT EMBARRASSING. BUT I HAVE TO SAY, I GOT PRETTY

EMBARRASSING. BUT I HAVE TO SAY, I GOT PRETTY GOOD AT REALITY TV.

BUT I HAVE TO SAY, I GOT PRETTY GOOD AT REALITY TV. CHECK THIS ONE OUT.

GOOD AT REALITY TV. CHECK THIS ONE OUT. WHAT DO WE NAME THIS?

CHECK THIS ONE OUT. WHAT DO WE NAME THIS? >> STANLEY.

WHAT DO WE NAME THIS? >> STANLEY. >> AVERY IS HYSTERICAL.

>> STANLEY. >> AVERY IS HYSTERICAL. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> AVERY IS HYSTERICAL. [ LAUGHTER ] RIGHT?

[ LAUGHTER ] RIGHT? THAT SHOW IS OWNED BY NBC

RIGHT? THAT SHOW IS OWNED BY NBC UNIVERSAL, SO IT SHOULD BE ON

THAT SHOW IS OWNED BY NBC UNIVERSAL, SO IT SHOULD BE ON PEACOCK, BUT PEACOCK SAID, NAH,

UNIVERSAL, SO IT SHOULD BE ON PEACOCK, BUT PEACOCK SAID, NAH, WE GOOD.

PEACOCK, BUT PEACOCK SAID, NAH, WE GOOD. I KNEW SOMETHING WOULD MAKE HIM

WE GOOD. I KNEW SOMETHING WOULD MAKE HIM SMILE.

I KNEW SOMETHING WOULD MAKE HIM SMILE. BUT REALLY, IT'S COOL TO BE

SMILE. BUT REALLY, IT'S COOL TO BE HERE.

BUT REALLY, IT'S COOL TO BE HERE. I GREW UP WATCHING SNL WITH MY

HERE. I GREW UP WATCHING SNL WITH MY MOTHER.

I GREW UP WATCHING SNL WITH MY MOTHER. I LOVE FARRELL, THE SANDMAN

MOTHER. I LOVE FARRELL, THE SANDMAN CHRIS FARLEY, AND TO BE STANDING

I LOVE FARRELL, THE SANDMAN CHRIS FARLEY, AND TO BE STANDING ON THIS STAGE, WHEW, PRETTY

CHRIS FARLEY, AND TO BE STANDING ON THIS STAGE, WHEW, PRETTY SURREAL.

ON THIS STAGE, WHEW, PRETTY SURREAL. AND TONIGHT, I'M GOING TO GIVE

SURREAL. AND TONIGHT, I'M GOING TO GIVE IT EVERYTHING I GOT.

AND TONIGHT, I'M GOING TO GIVE IT EVERYTHING I GOT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

IT EVERYTHING I GOT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] AS A WISE MAN ONCE SAID, MORE,

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] AS A WISE MAN ONCE SAID, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE AND MORE!

AS A WISE MAN ONCE SAID, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE AND MORE! WE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU

MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE AND MORE! WE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT!

WE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT! KELSEA BALLERINI IS HERE!

TONIGHT! KELSEA BALLERINI IS HERE!

PAPE

>>> AND SOME MORE TEA FOR CLAIRABELLE? BUT MAKE SURE YOU TELL

CLAIRABELLE? BUT MAKE SURE YOU TELL CLAIRABELLE IT'S H, OKAY?

BUT MAKE SURE YOU TELL CLAIRABELLE IT'S H, OKAY? >> OKA

CLAIRABELLE IT'S H, OKAY? >> OKA >> THANK YOU.

>> OKA >> THANK YOU. >> THANK YOU.

>> THANK YOU. >> THANK YOU. HI THERE!

>> THANK YOU. HI THERE! WELCOME TO AMERICAN GIRL CAFE.

HI THERE! WELCOME TO AMERICAN GIRL CAFE. I'M SHANE, I'LL BE TAKING CARE

WELCOME TO AMERICAN GIRL CAFE. I'M SHANE, I'LL BE TAKING CARE OF YOU THIS AFTERNOON.

I'M SHANE, I'LL BE TAKING CARE OF YOU THIS AFTERNOON. I STILL SEE YOU'RE WAITING ON

OF YOU THIS AFTERNOON. I STILL SEE YOU'RE WAITING ON SOME FOLKS?

I STILL SEE YOU'RE WAITING ON SOME FOLKS? >> NOPE.

SOME FOLKS? >> NOPE. GANG'S ALL HERE.

>> NOPE. GANG'S ALL HERE. >> OKAY.

GANG'S ALL HERE. >> OKAY. SO YOU'RE NOT WAITING FOR YOUR

>> OKAY. SO YOU'RE NOT WAITING FOR YOUR DAUGHTER OR YOUR NIECE?

SO YOU'RE NOT WAITING FOR YOUR DAUGHTER OR YOUR NIECE? >> NOPE.

DAUGHTER OR YOUR NIECE? >> NOPE. IT'S JUST ME AND THE GIRLS.

>> NOPE. IT'S JUST ME AND THE GIRLS. THIS IS CLAIRE, THAT'S ISABELLE.

IT'S JUST ME AND THE GIRLS. THIS IS CLAIRE, THAT'S ISABELLE. >> OKEYDOKEY.

THIS IS CLAIRE, THAT'S ISABELLE. >> OKEYDOKEY. I ALWAYS START BY ASKING IF

>> OKEYDOKEY. I ALWAYS START BY ASKING IF THERE ARE ANY FOOD ALLERGIES I

I ALWAYS START BY ASKING IF THERE ARE ANY FOOD ALLERGIES I SHOULD BE AWARE OF?

THERE ARE ANY FOOD ALLERGIES I SHOULD BE AWARE OF? >> NO.

SHOULD BE AWARE OF? >> NO. BUT THIS ONE IS DOING KETO RIGHT

>> NO. BUT THIS ONE IS DOING KETO RIGHT NOW.

BUT THIS ONE IS DOING KETO RIGHT NOW. >> AND ARE YOU ALLOWED WITHIN A

NOW. >> AND ARE YOU ALLOWED WITHIN A THOUSAND FEEOF A SCHOOL?

>> AND ARE YOU ALLOWED WITHIN A THOUSAND FEEOF A SCHOOL? >> YES.

THOUSAND FEEOF A SCHOOL? >> YES. WHY?

>> YES. WHY? >> JUST A STANDARD QUESTION WE

WHY? >> JUST A STANDARD QUESTION WE ASK ALL OF OUR PATRONS.

>> JUST A STANDARD QUESTION WE ASK ALL OF OUR PATRONS. CAN I START YOU OUT WITH

ASK ALL OF OUR PATRONS. CAN I START YOU OUT WITH SOMETHING TO DRINK?

CAN I START YOU OUT WITH SOMETHING TO DRINK? >> A GLASS OF ROSE.

SOMETHING TO DRINK? >> A GLASS OF ROSE. I'LL NEED A DRINK TO GET ME

>> A GLASS OF ROSE. I'LL NEED A DRINK TO GET ME THROUGH LUNCH WITH THESE TWO

I'LL NEED A DRINK TO GET ME THROUGH LUNCH WITH THESE TWO DRAMA QUEENS.

THROUGH LUNCH WITH THESE TWO DRAMA QUEENS. >> WONDERFUL.

DRAMA QUEENS. >> WONDERFUL. I JUST NEED TO SEE YOUR ID.

>> WONDERFUL. I JUST NEED TO SEE YOUR ID. SO SORRY.

I JUST NEED TO SEE YOUR ID. SO SORRY. THEY MAKE US ASK EVERYONE.

SO SORRY. THEY MAKE US ASK EVERYONE. THANKS.

THEY MAKE US ASK EVERYONE. THANKS. AND SO YOU DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER

THANKS. AND SO YOU DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER NAMES YOU USE, RIGHT?

AND SO YOU DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER NAMES YOU USE, RIGHT? THIS IS THE NAME THAT WOULD

NAMES YOU USE, RIGHT? THIS IS THE NAME THAT WOULD APPEAR ON ANY ONLINE COURT

THIS IS THE NAME THAT WOULD APPEAR ON ANY ONLINE COURT DOCUMENTS OR REGISTERED ON ANY

APPEAR ON ANY ONLINE COURT DOCUMENTS OR REGISTERED ON ANY GOVERNMENT LIST?

DOCUMENTS OR REGISTERED ON ANY GOVERNMENT LIST? >> THAT'S THE ONE.

GOVERNMENT LIST? >> THAT'S THE ONE. BUT THE ONLY LIST YOU'LL FIND ME

>> THAT'S THE ONE. BUT THE ONLY LIST YOU'LL FIND ME ON IS THE HUNGRIEST CUSTOMER

BUT THE ONLY LIST YOU'LL FIND ME ON IS THE HUNGRIEST CUSTOMER LIST.

ON IS THE HUNGRIEST CUSTOMER LIST. >> RIGHT.

LIST. >> RIGHT. OKAY.

>> RIGHT. OKAY. SHALL I BRING YOU SOME MENUS

OKAY. SHALL I BRING YOU SOME MENUS THEN?

SHALL I BRING YOU SOME MENUS THEN? >> NO NEED.

THEN? >> NO NEED. I ALREADY KNOW WHAT I WANT.

>> NO NEED. I ALREADY KNOW WHAT I WANT. I'LL HAVE A 64-OUNCE PORTER

I ALREADY KNOW WHAT I WANT. I'LL HAVE A 64-OUNCE PORTER HOUSE, RARE.

I'LL HAVE A 64-OUNCE PORTER HOUSE, RARE. >> UNFORTUNATELY, WE DO NOT

HOUSE, RARE. >> UNFORTUNATELY, WE DO NOT SERVE GIANT STEAKS HERE.

>> UNFORTUNATELY, WE DO NOT SERVE GIANT STEAKS HERE. IT'S JUST A CAFE.

SERVE GIANT STEAKS HERE. IT'S JUST A CAFE. >> OH, WELL, WE'LL NEED MENUS

IT'S JUST A CAFE. >> OH, WELL, WE'LL NEED MENUS THEN.

>> OH, WELL, WE'LL NEED MENUS THEN. FYI, DON'T BRING OUT ANY KIDS

THEN. FYI, DON'T BRING OUT ANY KIDS MENUS FOR THE GIRLS.

FYI, DON'T BRING OUT ANY KIDS MENUS FOR THE GIRLS. ISABELLE JUST HAD HER PERIOD,

MENUS FOR THE GIRLS. ISABELLE JUST HAD HER PERIOD, AND SHE THINKS SHE'S A WOMAN

ISABELLE JUST HAD HER PERIOD, AND SHE THINKS SHE'S A WOMAN NOW.

AND SHE THINKS SHE'S A WOMAN NOW. >> WONDERFUL.

NOW. >> WONDERFUL. THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME THAT.

>> WONDERFUL. THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME THAT. LET

THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME THAT. LET ..........

LET ..........

AROUSED. NOPE. ALL CLEAR.

NOPE. ALL CLEAR. OKAY.

ALL CLEAR. OKAY. I'LL BE BACK SHORTLY.

OKAY. I'LL BE BACK SHORTLY. >> HI.

I'LL BE BACK SHORTLY. >> HI. MY DAUGHTER'S SHY, BUT SHE

>> HI. MY DAUGHTER'S SHY, BUT SHE WANTED TO KNOW IF YOUR DOLLS

MY DAUGHTER'S SHY, BUT SHE WANTED TO KNOW IF YOUR DOLLS WANTED SOME OF HER PIZZA.

WANTED TO KNOW IF YOUR DOLLS WANTED SOME OF HER PIZZA. >> THANKS, BUT NO THANKS.

WANTED SOME OF HER PIZZA. >> THANKS, BUT NO THANKS. THEY DON'T NEED THE CALORIES,

>> THANKS, BUT NO THANKS. THEY DON'T NEED THE CALORIES, AND FRANKLY, NEITHER DOES YOUR

THEY DON'T NEED THE CALORIES, AND FRANKLY, NEITHER DOES YOUR DAUGHTER.

AND FRANKLY, NEITHER DOES YOUR DAUGHTER. >> WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?

DAUGHTER. >> WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME? >> THE TRUTH, HONEY.

>> WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME? >> THE TRUTH, HONEY. BYE NOW.

>> THE TRUTH, HONEY. BYE NOW. >> HI THERE.

BYE NOW. >> HI THERE. I'M LUCY, THE MANAGER.

>> HI THERE. I'M LUCY, THE MANAGER. JUST A SAFETY THING WE DO HERE.

I'M LUCY, THE MANAGER. JUST A SAFETY THING WE DO HERE. YOU MIN ALWAYS KEEPING BOTH

JUST A SAFETY THING WE DO HERE. YOU MIN ALWAYS KEEPING BOTH HANDS ON THE TABLE, JUST SO WE

YOU MIN ALWAYS KEEPING BOTH HANDS ON THE TABLE, JUST SO WE KNOW YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING

HANDS ON THE TABLE, JUST SO WE KNOW YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING UNAPPROPRIATE UNDER THERE?

KNOW YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING UNAPPROPRIATE UNDER THERE? SORRY IT'S A VESTIGE OF THE

UNAPPROPRIATE UNDER THERE? SORRY IT'S A VESTIGE OF THE COVID ERA.

SORRY IT'S A VESTIGE OF THE COVID ERA. ENJOY.

COVID ERA. ENJOY. >> WOW.

ENJOY. >> WOW. HOW COOL IS THIS SWEETHEART?

>> WOW. HOW COOL IS THIS SWEETHEART? I HOPE LOGAN IS HUNGRY.

HOW COOL IS THIS SWEETHEART? I HOPE LOGAN IS HUNGRY. >> UH-OH, CHECK YOUR MAKEUP,

I HOPE LOGAN IS HUNGRY. >> UH-OH, CHECK YOUR MAKEUP, GIRLS.

>> UH-OH, CHECK YOUR MAKEUP, GIRLS. BOY ALERT.

GIRLS. BOY ALERT. >> UMM, HELLO.

BOY ALERT. >> UMM, HELLO. IS THERE A REASON THAT YOUR

>> UMM, HELLO. IS THERE A REASON THAT YOUR DOLLS ARE LOOKING AT US, SIR?

IS THERE A REASON THAT YOUR DOLLS ARE LOOKING AT US, SIR? >> YOU BRING A STUD LIKE THAT IN

DOLLS ARE LOOKING AT US, SIR? >> YOU BRING A STUD LIKE THAT IN HERE, HE'S GOING TO TURN A FEW

>> YOU BRING A STUD LIKE THAT IN HERE, HE'S GOING TO TURN A FEW HEADS.

HERE, HE'S GOING TO TURN A FEW HEADS. >> YEAH.

HEADS. >> YEAH. EXCUSE ME.

>> YEAH. EXCUSE ME. THAT GENTLEMAN AT THAT TABLE --

EXCUSE ME. THAT GENTLEMAN AT THAT TABLE -- >> OH, HE IS HERE ALONE, BUT HE

THAT GENTLEMAN AT THAT TABLE -- >> OH, HE IS HERE ALONE, BUT HE SEEMS TO BE HARMLESS.

>> OH, HE IS HERE ALONE, BUT HE SEEMS TO BE HARMLESS. >> SO HE'S NOT --

SEEMS TO BE HARMLESS. >> SO HE'S NOT -- >> AROUSED?

>> SO HE'S NOT -- >> AROUSED? NO, I CHECKED.

>> AROUSED? NO, I CHECKED. >> AND YOU'RE SURE HE'S

NO, I CHECKED. >> AND YOU'RE SURE HE'S HARMLESS?

>> AND YOU'RE SURE HE'S HARMLESS? >> ISABELLE SAID SHE WAS HOT,

HARMLESS? >> ISABELLE SAID SHE WAS HOT, BUT I THINK SHE WANTED TO SHOW

>> ISABELLE SAID SHE WAS HOT, BUT I THINK SHE WANTED TO SHOW HER BODY OFF.

BUT I THINK SHE WANTED TO SHOW HER BODY OFF. >> YEAH, HE TALKING ABOUT

HER BODY OFF. >> YEAH, HE TALKING ABOUT SHOWING OFF THE BODY OF A DOLL.

>> YEAH, HE TALKING ABOUT SHOWING OFF THE BODY OF A DOLL. THAT'S NOT MY FAVORITE THING

SHOWING OFF THE BODY OF A DOLL. THAT'S NOT MY FAVORITE THING I'VE HEARD TODAY.

THAT'S NOT MY FAVORITE THING I'VE HEARD TODAY. HE'S COMING OVER HERE.

I'VE HEARD TODAY. HE'S COMING OVER HERE. OKAY.

HE'S COMING OVER HERE. OKAY. >> LET THE FLIRTING BEGIN.

OKAY. >> LET THE FLIRTING BEGIN. DON'T WORRY.

>> LET THE FLIRTING BEGIN. DON'T WORRY. SHE'S ON THE PILL.

DON'T WORRY. SHE'S ON THE PILL. >> YOU KNOW WHAT?

SHE'S ON THE PILL. >> YOU KNOW WHAT? LET ME JUST -- DARIUS, CAN

>> YOU KNOW WHAT? LET ME JUST -- DARIUS, CAN YOU --

LET ME JUST -- DARIUS, CAN YOU -- >> WHAT'S UP?

YOU -- >> WHAT'S UP? LUCY SAID WE HAVE A POSSIBL

>> WHAT'S UP? LUCY SAID WE HAVE A POSSIBL CREEPER IN HERE.

LUCY SAID WE HAVE A POSSIBL CREEPER IN HERE. >> YEAH, OVER THERE.

CREEPER IN HERE. >> YEAH, OVER THERE. >> DON'T WORRY, SIR.

>> YEAH, OVER THERE. >> DON'T WORRY, SIR. I'M ON IT.

>> DON'T WORRY, SIR. I'M ON IT. >> THANK YOU SO MUCH.

I'M ON IT. >> THANK YOU SO MUCH. >> HEY, LISTEN UP, PERVERT!

>> THANK YOU SO MUCH. >> HEY, LISTEN UP, PERVERT! YOU DO ANYTHING SHADY IN HERE,

>> HEY, LISTEN UP, PERVERT! YOU DO ANYTHING SHADY IN HERE, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A PROBLEM.

YOU DO ANYTHING SHADY IN HERE, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A PROBLEM. YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A PROBLEM. YOU UNDERSTAND ME? >> WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?

YOU UNDERSTAND ME? >> WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME? >> THE TRUTH, HONEY.

>> WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME? >> THE TRUTH, HONEY. >>> WHERE ARE OUR COFFEES?

>> THE TRUTH, HONEY. >>> WHERE ARE OUR COFFEES? WASN'T AN INTERN SUPPOSED TO

>>> WHERE ARE OUR COFFEES? WASN'T AN INTERN SUPPOSED TO GRAB THEM?

WASN'T AN INTERN SUPPOSED TO GRAB THEM? >> LET ME CHECK.

GRAB THEM? >> LET ME CHECK. LOOKS LIKE THEY SAID, WE DON'T

>> LET ME CHECK. LOOKS LIKE THEY SAID, WE DON'T GET COFFEES FOR LITTLE BITCH

LOOKS LIKE THEY SAID, WE DON'T GET COFFEES FOR LITTLE BITCH BOYS.

GET COFFEES FOR LITTLE BITCH BOYS. >> AGAIN?

BOYS. >> AGAIN? >> COME ON, MAN, ARE WE LITTLE

>> AGAIN? >> COME ON, MAN, ARE WE LITTLE BITCH BOYS?

>> COME ON, MAN, ARE WE LITTLE BITCH BOYS? >> WE NEED TO LEARN HOW TO STICK

BITCH BOYS? >> WE NEED TO LEARN HOW TO STICK UP FOR OURSELVES.

>> WE NEED TO LEARN HOW TO STICK UP FOR OURSELVES. >> WE CAN'T KEEP GETTING BULLIED

UP FOR OURSELVES. >> WE CAN'T KEEP GETTING BULLIED BY INTERNS.

>> WE CAN'T KEEP GETTING BULLIED BY INTERNS. I THINK I KNOW SOMEONE WHO CAN

BY INTERNS. I THINK I KNOW SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP US.

I THINK I KNOW SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP US. >> I'M KURT LIGHTNING, AND I

HELP US. >> I'M KURT LIGHTNING, AND I KNOW WHY YOU ALL SIGNED UP FOR

>> I'M KURT LIGHTNING, AND I KNOW WHY YOU ALL SIGNED UP FOR MY CLASS.

KNOW WHY YOU ALL SIGNED UP FOR MY CLASS. YOU'RE SEARCHING FOR CONFIDENCE.

MY CLASS. YOU'RE SEARCHING FOR CONFIDENCE. THE CONFIDENCE OF NOT ONLY

YOU'RE SEARCHING FOR CONFIDENCE. THE CONFIDENCE OF NOT ONLY KNOWING YOU CAN DEFEND YOURSELF,

THE CONFIDENCE OF NOT ONLY KNOWING YOU CAN DEFEND YOURSELF, BUT THAT YOU'RE SOMEBODY WORTH

KNOWING YOU CAN DEFEND YOURSELF, BUT THAT YOU'RE SOMEBODY WORTH DEFENDING.

BUT THAT YOU'RE SOMEBODY WORTH DEFENDING. SAY IT WITH ME, I AM WORTH IT.

DEFENDING. SAY IT WITH ME, I AM WORTH IT. >> I AM WORTH IT.

SAY IT WITH ME, I AM WORTH IT. >> I AM WORTH IT. >> SAY IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT.

>> I AM WORTH IT. >> SAY IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT. >> I AM WORTH IT!

>> SAY IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT. >> I AM WORTH IT! >> FEEL IT!

>> I AM WORTH IT! >> FEEL IT! YOU, GET UP HERE.

>> FEEL IT! YOU, GET UP HERE. WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SON?

YOU, GET UP HERE. WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SON? >> JOHN.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SON? >> JOHN. >> OH, JOHN, I CAN HEAR IT IN

>> JOHN. >> OH, JOHN, I CAN HEAR IT IN YOUR VOICE.

>> OH, JOHN, I CAN HEAR IT IN YOUR VOICE. YOU FEEL SMALL, DON'T YOU, SON?

YOUR VOICE. YOU FEEL SMALL, DON'T YOU, SON? >> YES.

YOU FEEL SMALL, DON'T YOU, SON? >> YES. >> YOU GOT TO OWN IT, SON, OWN

>> YES. >> YOU GOT TO OWN IT, SON, OWN YOUR TRUTH.

>> YOU GOT TO OWN IT, SON, OWN YOUR TRUTH. >> I FEEL SMALL.

YOUR TRUTH. >> I FEEL SMALL. >> BUT YOU'RE NOT SMALL.

>> I FEEL SMALL. >> BUT YOU'RE NOT SMALL. PUT YOUR HANDS UP.

>> BUT YOU'RE NOT SMALL. PUT YOUR HANDS UP. I AM GOING TO STRIKE, AND WHEN I

PUT YOUR HANDS UP. I AM GOING TO STRIKE, AND WHEN I STRIKE, YOU DEFLECT, AND I WANT

I AM GOING TO STRIKE, AND WHEN I STRIKE, YOU DEFLECT, AND I WANT YOU TO HIT ME BACK, AND WHEN YOU

STRIKE, YOU DEFLECT, AND I WANT YOU TO HIT ME BACK, AND WHEN YOU DO, IMAGINE I'M THE VOICE IN

YOU TO HIT ME BACK, AND WHEN YOU DO, IMAGINE I'M THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD TELLING YOU YOU AREN'T

DO, IMAGINE I'M THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD TELLING YOU YOU AREN'T WORTH IT.

YOUR HEAD TELLING YOU YOU AREN'T WORTH IT. BECAUSE WHAT ARE YOU?

WORTH IT. BECAUSE WHAT ARE YOU? >> I AM WORTH IT!

BECAUSE WHAT ARE YOU? >> I AM WORTH IT! >> NOW, ARE YOU READY?

>> I AM WORTH IT! >> NOW, ARE YOU READY? >> I AM RED --

>> NOW, ARE YOU READY? >> I AM RED -- >> DUDE!

>> I AM RED -- >> DUDE! >> TOO SLOW, FATSO.

>> DUDE! >> TOO SLOW, FATSO. WHO'S NEXT?

>> TOO SLOW, FATSO. WHO'S NEXT? >> TOM, ARE YOU OKAY?

WHO'S NEXT? >> TOM, ARE YOU OKAY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO HIM?

>> TOM, ARE YOU OKAY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO HIM? >> YOU'RE NEXT.

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO HIM? >> YOU'RE NEXT. >> I'M --

>> YOU'RE NEXT. >> I'M -- >> WHY ARE YOU SO AFRAID, SON?

>> I'M -- >> WHY ARE YOU SO AFRAID, SON? >> YOU PUNCHED MY FRIEND, AND

>> WHY ARE YOU SO AFRAID, SON? >> YOU PUNCHED MY FRIEND, AND I'M WORRIED HE'S DEAD.

>> YOU PUNCHED MY FRIEND, AND I'M WORRIED HE'S DEAD. >> YOU'RE AFRAID YOUR FATHER WAS

I'M WORRIED HE'S DEAD. >> YOU'RE AFRAID YOUR FATHER WAS RIGHT.

>> YOU'RE AFRAID YOUR FATHER WAS RIGHT. >> I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT

RIGHT. >> I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM.

>> I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM. >> THAT'S NOT AN OPTION BECAUSE

HIM. >> THAT'S NOT AN OPTION BECAUSE YOUR FATHER WAS WRONG.

>> THAT'S NOT AN OPTION BECAUSE YOUR FATHER WAS WRONG. >> KURT, PLEASE.

YOUR FATHER WAS WRONG. >> KURT, PLEASE. >> YOU ARE A MAN, AND I NEED YOU

>> KURT, PLEASE. >> YOU ARE A MAN, AND I NEED YOU TO TELL HIM.

>> YOU ARE A MAN, AND I NEED YOU TO TELL HIM. >> HOW?

TO TELL HIM. >> HOW? >> CLOSE YOUR EYES.

>> HOW? >> CLOSE YOUR EYES. >> OH!

>> CLOSE YOUR EYES. >> OH! >> DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE, BUCKO!

>> OH! >> DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE, BUCKO! HE REALLY CLOSED HIS EYES.

>> DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE, BUCKO! HE REALLY CLOSED HIS EYES. >> IS THIS WHAT THE CLASS IS?

HE REALLY CLOSED HIS EYES. >> IS THIS WHAT THE CLASS IS? >> YOU HAVE BEEN SCARED YOUR

>> IS THIS WHAT THE CLASS IS? >> YOU HAVE BEEN SCARED YOUR WHOLE LIFE.

>> YOU HAVE BEEN SCARED YOUR WHOLE LIFE. >> OH, NO.

WHOLE LIFE. >> OH, NO. >> YOU LOST YOUR MOTHER AT A

>> OH, NO. >> YOU LOST YOUR MOTHER AT A YOUNG AGE.

>> YOU LOST YOUR MOTHER AT A YOUNG AGE. >> THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

YOUNG AGE. >> THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN. >> BECAUSE YOUR FATHER WASN'T

>> THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN. >> BECAUSE YOUR FATHER WASN'T THERE TO PROTECT HER.

>> BECAUSE YOUR FATHER WASN'T THERE TO PROTECT HER. >> YOU'RE MAKING STUFF UP, MAN.

THERE TO PROTECT HER. >> YOU'RE MAKING STUFF UP, MAN. >> AND I'M HERE TO SHOW YOU A

>> YOU'RE MAKING STUFF UP, MAN. >> AND I'M HERE TO SHOW YOU A MAN CAN DEFEND THE ONES HE

>> AND I'M HERE TO SHOW YOU A MAN CAN DEFEND THE ONES HE LOVES.

MAN CAN DEFEND THE ONES HE LOVES. I WANT YOU TO PUNCH THIS WOMAN

LOVES. I WANT YOU TO PUNCH THIS WOMAN RIGHT HERE.

I WANT YOU TO PUNCH THIS WOMAN RIGHT HERE. >> NO WAY.

RIGHT HERE. >> NO WAY. >> AND I WILL DEFLECT YOUR

>> NO WAY. >> AND I WILL DEFLECT YOUR STRIKE.

>> AND I WILL DEFLECT YOUR STRIKE. >> WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?

STRIKE. >> WHY ARE WE DOING THIS? >> BECAUSE I WANT TO SHOW YOU A

>> WHY ARE WE DOING THIS? >> BECAUSE I WANT TO SHOW YOU A REAL MAN DEFENDS THE WOMAN HE

>> BECAUSE I WANT TO SHOW YOU A REAL MAN DEFENDS THE WOMAN HE LOVES.

REAL MAN DEFENDS THE WOMAN HE LOVES. >> BUT YOU'RE POSITIVE YOU WILL

LOVES. >> BUT YOU'RE POSITIVE YOU WILL BLOCK IT?

>> BUT YOU'RE POSITIVE YOU WILL BLOCK IT? >> ABSOLUTELY.

BLOCK IT? >> ABSOLUTELY. >> BECAUSE IF I HIT THIS WOMAN,

>> ABSOLUTELY. >> BECAUSE IF I HIT THIS WOMAN, SHE WILL DIE.

>> BECAUSE IF I HIT THIS WOMAN, SHE WILL DIE. >> PUNCH HER OR I'M GOING TO

SHE WILL DIE. >> PUNCH HER OR I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU.

>> PUNCH HER OR I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU. >> OKAY.

PUNCH YOU. >> OKAY. YOU GOT IT.

>> OKAY. YOU GOT IT. >> NICE TRY, BITCH.

YOU GOT IT. >> NICE TRY, BITCH. >> OH, MY GOD.

>> NICE TRY, BITCH. >> OH, MY GOD. >> BOOM, SHELLY, YOU DID THAT

>> OH, MY GOD. >> BOOM, SHELLY, YOU DID THAT DAMN THING.

>> BOOM, SHELLY, YOU DID THAT DAMN THING. >> DID A REVOLVER COME OUT OF

DAMN THING. >> DID A REVOLVER COME OUT OF YOUR PANTS?

>> DID A REVOLVER COME OUT OF YOUR PANTS? WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS?

YOUR PANTS? WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS? >> BECAUSE I LIVE IN FEAR.

WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS? >> BECAUSE I LIVE IN FEAR. WHY DO YOU THINK I'M IN THIS

>> BECAUSE I LIVE IN FEAR. WHY DO YOU THINK I'M IN THIS CLASS?

WHY DO YOU THINK I'M IN THIS CLASS? >> GIVE ME THAT.

CLASS? >> GIVE ME THAT. >> WHOA!

>> GIVE ME THAT. >> WHOA! >> YOU WANT TO PLAY A GAME?

>> WHOA! >> YOU WANT TO PLAY A GAME? >> WHAT?

>> YOU WANT TO PLAY A GAME? >> WHAT? RUSSIAN ROULETTE?

>> WHAT? RUSSIAN ROULETTE? >> FEELING LUCKY, SLICK?

RUSSIAN ROULETTE? >> FEELING LUCKY, SLICK? >> COME ON, DON'T DO IT!

>> FEELING LUCKY, SLICK? >> COME ON, DON'T DO IT! >> AHH!

>> COME ON, DON'T DO IT! >> AHH! >> ARE YOU OKAY?

>> AHH! >> ARE YOU OKAY? OH, MY GOD.

>> ARE YOU OKAY? OH, MY GOD. >> GREAT WORK, GUYS.

OH, MY GOD. >> GREAT WORK, GUYS. YOU FINALLY STOOD UP FOR

>> GREAT WORK, GUYS. YOU FINALLY STOOD UP FOR YOURSELVES.

YOU FINALLY STOOD UP FOR YOURSELVES. >> WHAT THE HELL YOU TALKING

YOURSELVES. >> WHAT THE HELL YOU TALKING ABOUT?

>> WHAT THE HELL YOU TALKING ABOUT? >> I THINK SOMEBODY OWES YOU

ABOUT? >> I THINK SOMEBODY OWES YOU SOME COFFEES.

>> I THINK SOMEBODY OWES YOU SOME COFFEES. >> WHAT?

SOME COFFEES. >> WHAT? THE INTERNS.

>> WHAT? THE INTERNS. >> HEY, GUYS.

THE INTERNS. >> HEY, GUYS. AFTER YOU SHOVED THAT OLD LADY

>> HEY, GUYS. AFTER YOU SHOVED THAT OLD LADY INTO THE TROPHY CASE, I FINALLY

AFTER YOU SHOVED THAT OLD LADY INTO THE TROPHY CASE, I FINALLY RESPECT YOU.

INTO THE TROPHY CASE, I FINALLY RESPECT YOU. >> THANKS, GUYS.

RESPECT YOU. >> THANKS, GUYS. >> AND HERE'S YOUR COFFEE.

>> THANKS, GUYS. >> AND HERE'S YOUR COFFEE. >> AHH!

>>> I'M VERY HONORED TO BE HERE TODAY AS WE FINALLY REMEMBER MOTHER, GRANDMOTHER, AND LOVER

TODAY AS WE FINALLY REMEMBER MOTHER, GRANDMOTHER, AND LOVER MS. GLENDA.

MOTHER, GRANDMOTHER, AND LOVER MS. GLENDA. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW

MS. GLENDA. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW ME, MY NAME IS DYLAN.

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW ME, MY NAME IS DYLAN. I WAS GLENDA'S NURSE, AND WE HAD

ME, MY NAME IS DYLAN. I WAS GLENDA'S NURSE, AND WE HAD AN INTIMATE LOVING RELATIONSHIP

I WAS GLENDA'S NURSE, AND WE HAD AN INTIMATE LOVING RELATIONSHIP IN HER FINAL MONTHS.

AN INTIMATE LOVING RELATIONSHIP IN HER FINAL MONTHS. >> WAIT.

IN HER FINAL MONTHS. >> WAIT. MAMA STARTED DATING HIM?

>> WAIT. MAMA STARTED DATING HIM? >> WELL, GOOD FOR YOU, MAMA.

MAMA STARTED DATING HIM? >> WELL, GOOD FOR YOU, MAMA. THAT MAN IS FINE.

>> WELL, GOOD FOR YOU, MAMA. THAT MAN IS FINE. >> I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT GLENDA

THAT MAN IS FINE. >> I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT GLENDA WAS TO YOU ALL, SO I ORGANIZED

>> I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT GLENDA WAS TO YOU ALL, SO I ORGANIZED AND FUNDED THIS HOME GOING

WAS TO YOU ALL, SO I ORGANIZED AND FUNDED THIS HOME GOING SERVICE IN HER HONOR.

AND FUNDED THIS HOME GOING SERVICE IN HER HONOR. IF YOU KNEW GLENDA, YOU KNEW SHE

SERVICE IN HER HONOR. IF YOU KNEW GLENDA, YOU KNEW SHE WAS A FREE SPIRIT.

IF YOU KNEW GLENDA, YOU KNEW SHE WAS A FREE SPIRIT. >> YEAH, WHAT YOU MEAN BY THAT?

WAS A FREE SPIRIT. >> YEAH, WHAT YOU MEAN BY THAT? >> SO I THOUGHT SHE WOULD BE

>> YEAH, WHAT YOU MEAN BY THAT? >> SO I THOUGHT SHE WOULD BE LAID TO REST HOW WE ALL KNEW

>> SO I THOUGHT SHE WOULD BE LAID TO REST HOW WE ALL KNEW HER.

LAID TO REST HOW WE ALL KNEW HER. TA DA.

HER. TA DA. >> WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

TA DA. >> WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? >> THIS WHITE BOY GOT OUR DEAD

>> WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? >> THIS WHITE BOY GOT OUR DEAD MAMA SITTING UP!

>> THIS WHITE BOY GOT OUR DEAD MAMA SITTING UP! >>

MAMA SITTING UP! >> DO.

>> DO. SHADES ON, WORLD OUT, PUFFING ON

DO. SHADES ON, WORLD OUT, PUFFING ON A MENTHOL, THAT'S MY GLENDA.

SHADES ON, WORLD OUT, PUFFING ON A MENTHOL, THAT'S MY GLENDA. >> HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HER?

A MENTHOL, THAT'S MY GLENDA. >> HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HER? SHE LOOKS CRAZY.

>> HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HER? SHE LOOKS CRAZY. >> AT LEAST HE GOT HER IN A NICE

SHE LOOKS CRAZY. >> AT LEAST HE GOT HER IN A NICE SHIRT.

>> AT LEAST HE GOT HER IN A NICE SHIRT. >> THAT'S GLENDA.

SHIRT. >> THAT'S GLENDA. LITTLE MAMA ALWAYS DOING.

>> THAT'S GLENDA. LITTLE MAMA ALWAYS DOING. YOU KNOW IT HIT DIFFERENT WHEN

LITTLE MAMA ALWAYS DOING. YOU KNOW IT HIT DIFFERENT WHEN THEY IN THE NIGHT GOWN.

YOU KNOW IT HIT DIFFERENT WHEN THEY IN THE NIGHT GOWN. NOW, I WOULD LIKE TO OPEN THE

THEY IN THE NIGHT GOWN. NOW, I WOULD LIKE TO OPEN THE FLOOR TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY SO

NOW, I WOULD LIKE TO OPEN THE FLOOR TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY SO THEY CAN SHARE A FEWOR IN

FLOOR TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY SO THEY CAN SHARE A FEWOR IN GLENDA'S MEMORY.

THEY CAN SHARE A FEWOR IN GLENDA'S MEMORY. >> HI.

GLENDA'S MEMORY. >> HI. YEAH.

>> HI. YEAH. YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M NOT GOING TO

YEAH. YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M NOT GOING TO LET VANILLASAURUS REX OVER HERE

YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M NOT GOING TO LET VANILLASAURUS REX OVER HERE RUIN MY MAMA'S FUNERAL.

LET VANILLASAURUS REX OVER HERE RUIN MY MAMA'S FUNERAL. SHE WAS A GOOD MAMA, TAUGHT ME

RUIN MY MAMA'S FUNERAL. SHE WAS A GOOD MAMA, TAUGHT ME EVERYTHING I KNEW.

SHE WAS A GOOD MAMA, TAUGHT ME EVERYTHING I KNEW. SHE WAS STRONG.

EVERYTHING I KNEW. SHE WAS STRONG. STOP IT.

SHE WAS STRONG. STOP IT. SHE HAD A SMILE FOR EVERY

STOP IT. SHE HAD A SMILE FOR EVERY STRANGER AND A STORY FOR EVERY

SHE HAD A SMILE FOR EVERY STRANGER AND A STORY FOR EVERY OCCASION.

STRANGER AND A STORY FOR EVERY OCCASION. I SWEAR, IT'S LIKE I CAN ALMOST

OCCASION. I SWEAR, IT'S LIKE I CAN ALMOST HEAR HER VOICE NOW.

I SWEAR, IT'S LIKE I CAN ALMOST HEAR HER VOICE NOW. >> CLOSE THAT DOOR.

HEAR HER VOICE NOW. >> CLOSE THAT DOOR. YOU LETTING ALL THE GOOD AIR

>> CLOSE THAT DOOR. YOU LETTING ALL THE GOOD AIR OUT.

YOU LETTING ALL THE GOOD AIR OUT. >> HOLD ON.

OUT. >> HOLD ON. WHAT THE --

>> HOLD ON. WHAT THE -- >> DON'T YOU EMBARRASS ME IN

WHAT THE -- >> DON'T YOU EMBARRASS ME IN FRONT OF THESE WHITE PEOPLE.

>> DON'T YOU EMBARRASS ME IN FRONT OF THESE WHITE PEOPLE. >> DOPE, RIGHT?

FRONT OF THESE WHITE PEOPLE. >> DOPE, RIGHT? THEY RIGGED HER UP, PUT A

>> DOPE, RIGHT? THEY RIGGED HER UP, PUT A SPEAKER IN HER.

THEY RIGGED HER UP, PUT A SPEAKER IN HER. AND ALL OF HER FAVORITE SAYINGS

SPEAKER IN HER. AND ALL OF HER FAVORITE SAYINGS ARE RIGHT THERE.

AND ALL OF HER FAVORITE SAYINGS ARE RIGHT THERE. >> JAY JAY ACTING STUCK UP

ARE RIGHT THERE. >> JAY JAY ACTING STUCK UP BECAUSE HE GOT THAT SMALL-HEADED

>> JAY JAY ACTING STUCK UP BECAUSE HE GOT THAT SMALL-HEADED WHITE GIRLFRIEND WITH HIM.

BECAUSE HE GOT THAT SMALL-HEADED WHITE GIRLFRIEND WITH HIM. >> ME?

WHITE GIRLFRIEND WITH HIM. >> ME? MY HEAD ISN'T SMALL.

>> ME? MY HEAD ISN'T SMALL. >> WAIT, YOU PROGRAMMED HER TO

MY HEAD ISN'T SMALL. >> WAIT, YOU PROGRAMMED HER TO >> CLOSE THAT DOOR, YOU LET --

>> WAIT, YOU PROGRAMMED HER TO >> CLOSE THAT DOOR, YOU LET -- LET -- LET -- LET.

>> CLOSE THAT DOOR, YOU LET -- LET -- LET -- LET. >> OH, SHE'S STUCK.

LET -- LET -- LET. >> OH, SHE'S STUCK. I GOT THIS.

>> OH, SHE'S STUCK. I GOT THIS. >> LET -- LET -- LETTING ALL THE

I GOT THIS. >> LET -- LET -- LETTING ALL THE GOOD AIR OUT.

>> LET -- LET -- LETTING ALL THE GOOD AIR OUT. >> HEY, MAN.

GOOD AIR OUT. >> HEY, MAN. YOU JUST BLOW OUT MY MAMA'S HEAD

>> HEY, MAN. YOU JUST BLOW OUT MY MAMA'S HEAD LIKE SHE WAS A NINTENDO

YOU JUST BLOW OUT MY MAMA'S HEAD LIKE SHE WAS A NINTENDO CARTRIDGE?

LIKE SHE WAS A NINTENDO CARTRIDGE? >> LET'S MOVE ON.

CARTRIDGE? >> LET'S MOVE ON. GLENDA DIDN'T WANT THIS TO BE A

>> LET'S MOVE ON. GLENDA DIDN'T WANT THIS TO BE A SAD SERVICE.

GLENDA DIDN'T WANT THIS TO BE A SAD SERVICE. D.J. ROSCOE, HIT IT.

SAD SERVICE. D.J. ROSCOE, HIT IT. ♪

D.J. ROSCOE, HIT IT. ♪ GO AHEAD, MS. GLENDA, WITH YOUR

♪ GO AHEAD, MS. GLENDA, WITH YOUR BAD SELF.

GO AHEAD, MS. GLENDA, WITH YOUR BAD SELF. >> YOU PUT HYDRAULICS ON MY

BAD SELF. >> YOU PUT HYDRAULICS ON MY GRANDMA?

>> YOU PUT HYDRAULICS ON MY GRANDMA? >> WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH

GRANDMA? >> WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

>> WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? >> HEY, I SPENT $30,000 ON THIS,

YOU? >> HEY, I SPENT $30,000 ON THIS, AND THAT'S EVERY PENNY THAT SHE

>> HEY, I SPENT $30,000 ON THIS, AND THAT'S EVERY PENNY THAT SHE HAD.

AND THAT'S EVERY PENNY THAT SHE HAD. AND I'LL BE DAMNED IF I SPEND IT

HAD. AND I'LL BE DAMNED IF I SPEND IT IN VAIN.

AND I'LL BE DAMNED IF I SPEND IT IN VAIN. Y'ALL ARE GOING TO SIT BACK AND

IN VAIN. Y'ALL ARE GOING TO SIT BACK AND WATCH YOUR MAMA GO TO HEAVEN.

Y'ALL ARE GOING TO SIT BACK AND WATCH YOUR MAMA GO TO HEAVEN. >> CLOSE THAT DOOR.

WATCH YOUR MAMA GO TO HEAVEN. >> CLOSE THAT DOOR. YOU LETTING ALL THE GOOD AIR

>> CLOSE THAT DOOR. YOU LETTING ALL THE GOOD AIR OUT.

YOU LETTING ALL THE GOOD AIR OUT. >> CHEERED!

OUT. >> CHEERED! LIKE MOST GAY MEN, I HAVE A LOT

>> CHEERED! LIKE MOST GAY MEN, I HAVE A LOT OF STRAIGHT FEMALE FRIENDS, AND

LIKE MOST GAY MEN, I HAVE A LOT OF STRAIGHT FEMALE FRIENDS, AND I LOVE MY GIRLIES, BUT THEY CAN

OF STRAIGHT FEMALE FRIENDS, AND I LOVE MY GIRLIES, BUT THEY CAN BE A LOT, BOTH FINANCIALLY.

I LOVE MY GIRLIES, BUT THEY CAN BE A LOT, BOTH FINANCIALLY. >> WAIT, CARSON, YOU'RE COMING

BE A LOT, BOTH FINANCIALLY. >> WAIT, CARSON, YOU'RE COMING TO TULUM, RIGHT?

>> WAIT, CARSON, YOU'RE COMING TO TULUM, RIGHT? >> YOU KNOW IT, SIS.

TO TULUM, RIGHT? >> YOU KNOW IT, SIS. AND EMOTIONALLY.

>> YOU KNOW IT, SIS. AND EMOTIONALLY. >> TULUM IS WHERE DYLAN AND I

AND EMOTIONALLY. >> TULUM IS WHERE DYLAN AND I WERE SUPPOSED TO GO BEFORE WE

>> TULUM IS WHERE DYLAN AND I WERE SUPPOSED TO GO BEFORE WE BROKE UP.

WERE SUPPOSED TO GO BEFORE WE BROKE UP. >> I'M SO SORRY, BABE.

BROKE UP. >> I'M SO SORRY, BABE. AS MUCH AS THESE GIRLS MEAN TO

>> I'M SO SORRY, BABE. AS MUCH AS THESE GIRLS MEAN TO ME, SOMETIMES I NEED A BREAK.

AS MUCH AS THESE GIRLS MEAN TO ME, SOMETIMES I NEED A BREAK. THAT'S WHEN I DISCOVERED,

ME, SOMETIMES I NEED A BREAK. THAT'S WHEN I DISCOVERED, STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND.

THAT'S WHEN I DISCOVERED, STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND. >> WHAT'S UP?

STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND. >> WHAT'S UP? YO, WATCH ME HEAD CHOP THIS

>> WHAT'S UP? YO, WATCH ME HEAD CHOP THIS BITCH.

YO, WATCH ME HEAD CHOP THIS BITCH. BOOM TO THE DOOM.

BITCH. BOOM TO THE DOOM. >> AMAZING.

BOOM TO THE DOOM. >> AMAZING. STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND IS A

>> AMAZING. STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND IS A LOW-EFFORT, LOW-STAKES

STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND IS A LOW-EFFORT, LOW-STAKES RELATIONSHIP THAT REQUIRES NO

LOW-EFFORT, LOW-STAKES RELATIONSHIP THAT REQUIRES NO EMOTIONAL COMMITMENT, NO

RELATIONSHIP THAT REQUIRES NO EMOTIONAL COMMITMENT, NO FINANCIAL INVESTMENT, AND OTHER

EMOTIONAL COMMITMENT, NO FINANCIAL INVESTMENT, AND OTHER THAN THE OCCASIONAL VIDEO GAME

FINANCIAL INVESTMENT, AND OTHER THAN THE OCCASIONAL VIDEO GAME OUTBURST --

THAN THE OCCASIONAL VIDEO GAME OUTBURST -- >> THIS GAME'S STUPID!

OUTBURST -- >> THIS GAME'S STUPID! >> -- NO DRAMA.

>> THIS GAME'S STUPID! >> -- NO DRAMA. >> YO, YOU WANT TO GO GET WINGS?

>> -- NO DRAMA. >> YO, YOU WANT TO GO GET WINGS? >> IF I DIDN'T CHECK IN WITH MY

>> YO, YOU WANT TO GO GET WINGS? >> IF I DIDN'T CHECK IN WITH MY GAL

>> IF I DIDN'T CHECK IN WITH MY GAL PALS EVERY DAY OR TWO, IT WOULD

GAL PALS EVERY DAY OR TWO, IT WOULD BECOME A WHOLE THING.

PALS EVERY DAY OR TWO, IT WOULD BECOME A WHOLE THING. HANG OUT AS LITTLE OR AS MUCH AS

BECOME A WHOLE THING. HANG OUT AS LITTLE OR AS MUCH AS YOU WANT.

HANG OUT AS LITTLE OR AS MUCH AS YOU WANT. IT WON'T AFFECT THE FRIENDSHIP

YOU WANT. IT WON'T AFFECT THE FRIENDSHIP AT ALL.

IT WON'T AFFECT THE FRIENDSHIP AT ALL. WATCH THIS.

AT ALL. WATCH THIS. HEY, I MIGHT BE MOVING TO EUROPE

WATCH THIS. HEY, I MIGHT BE MOVING TO EUROPE FOR SEVEN YEARS.

HEY, I MIGHT BE MOVING TO EUROPE FOR SEVEN YEARS. >> DOPE.

FOR SEVEN YEARS. >> DOPE. JUST HIT ME WHEN YOU'RE BACK.

>> DOPE. JUST HIT ME WHEN YOU'RE BACK. STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND IS EASY,

JUST HIT ME WHEN YOU'RE BACK. STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND IS EASY, AND EVEN IF HE'S HAVING A TOUGH

STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND IS EASY, AND EVEN IF HE'S HAVING A TOUGH TIME EMOTIONALLY, HE'LL NEVER

AND EVEN IF HE'S HAVING A TOUGH TIME EMOTIONALLY, HE'LL NEVER BRING ME INTO IT.

TIME EMOTIONALLY, HE'LL NEVER BRING ME INTO IT. YOU OKAY?

BRING ME INTO IT. YOU OKAY? YOU SEEM A LITTLE UPSET.

YOU OKAY? YOU SEEM A LITTLE UPSET. >> MAN, MY DAD DIED LAST WEEK.

YOU SEEM A LITTLE UPSET. >> MAN, MY DAD DIED LAST WEEK. >> OH.

>> MAN, MY DAD DIED LAST WEEK. >> OH. >> BUT IT'S ALL RIGHT.

>> OH. >> BUT IT'S ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW?

>> BUT IT'S ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW? >> YOU WANT TO GET SOME WINGS?

YOU KNOW? >> YOU WANT TO GET SOME WINGS? >> YEAH.

>> YOU WANT TO GET SOME WINGS? >> YEAH. STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND ISN'T

>> YEAH. STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND ISN'T PERFECT AND MAY ASK BLUNT

STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND ISN'T PERFECT AND MAY ASK BLUNT QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE.

PERFECT AND MAY ASK BLUNT QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE. >> SO DO GAY GUYS LIKE WHEN A

QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE. >> SO DO GAY GUYS LIKE WHEN A GUY HAS A BIG ONE, OR IS IT A

>> SO DO GAY GUYS LIKE WHEN A GUY HAS A BIG ONE, OR IS IT A BAD THING?

GUY HAS A BIG ONE, OR IS IT A BAD THING? >> DEPENDS ON THE GUY.

BAD THING? >> DEPENDS ON THE GUY. BUT HE'S ONLY ASKING BECAUSE

>> DEPENDS ON THE GUY. BUT HE'S ONLY ASKING BECAUSE HE'S HONESTLY CURIOUS, AND

BUT HE'S ONLY ASKING BECAUSE HE'S HONESTLY CURIOUS, AND THERE'S SOMETHING SWEET ABOUT

HE'S HONESTLY CURIOUS, AND THERE'S SOMETHING SWEET ABOUT THAT.

THERE'S SOMETHING SWEET ABOUT THAT. DOES STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND

THAT. DOES STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND PROVIDE THE SAME DEEP

DOES STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND PROVIDE THE SAME DEEP RELATIONSHIP I HAVE WITH MY

PROVIDE THE SAME DEEP RELATIONSHIP I HAVE WITH MY GIRLS?

RELATIONSHIP I HAVE WITH MY GIRLS? NO.

GIRLS? NO. DOES STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND KNOW

NO. DOES STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND KNOW MY LAST NAME?

DOES STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND KNOW MY LAST NAME? NO.

MY LAST NAME? NO. THAT'S KIND OF THE BEAUTY OF

NO. THAT'S KIND OF THE BEAUTY OF IT.

THAT'S KIND OF THE BEAUTY OF IT. BUT IF YOU ARE MISSING A LITTLE

IT. BUT IF YOU ARE MISSING A LITTLE DRAMA, JUST SAY THIS.

BUT IF YOU ARE MISSING A LITTLE DRAMA, JUST SAY THIS. I BET I'M FASTER THAN YOU.

DRAMA, JUST SAY THIS. I BET I'M FASTER THAN YOU. >> DOG, BRO, FOR REAL?

I BET I'M FASTER THAN YOU. >> DOG, BRO, FOR REAL? YOU THINK YOU'RE FASTER THAN ME?

>> DOG, BRO, FOR REAL? YOU THINK YOU'RE FASTER THAN ME? I WILL GO OUTSIDE ON THE STREET

YOU THINK YOU'RE FASTER THAN ME? I WILL GO OUTSIDE ON THE STREET AND DUST YOUR ASS RIGHT NOW.

I WILL GO OUTSIDE ON THE STREET AND DUST YOUR ASS RIGHT NOW. LET'S GO.

AND DUST YOUR ASS RIGHT NOW. LET'S GO. COME ON.

LET'S GO. COME ON. >> SO IF YOU'RE A GAY MAN WHO

COME ON. >> SO IF YOU'RE A GAY MAN WHO NEEDS A BREAK, COME ENJOY THE

>> SO IF YOU'RE A GAY MAN WHO NEEDS A BREAK, COME ENJOY THE CASUAL RELATIONSHIP GAY WOMEN

NEEDS A BREAK, COME ENJOY THE CASUAL RELATIONSHIP GAY WOMEN HAVE KNOWN ABOUT FOR YEARS.

CASUAL RELATIONSHIP GAY WOMEN HAVE KNOWN ABOUT FOR YEARS. STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND.

HAVE KNOWN ABOUT FOR YEARS. STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND. >> SORRY FOR BEING A PUSSY ABOUT

STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND. >> SORRY FOR BEING A PUSSY ABOUT MY DAD DYING EARLIER.

>> SORRY FOR BEING A PUSSY ABOUT MY DAD DYING EARLIER. THAT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

MY DAD DYING EARLIER. THAT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN. >> STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND,

THAT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN. >> STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND, AVAILABLE EVERYWHERE.

>> STRAIGHT MALE FRIEND, AVAILABLE EVERYWHERE. EXCEPT THERAPY.

AVAILABLE EVERYWHERE. EXCEPT THERAPY. >>> OKAY.

EXCEPT THERAPY. >>> OKAY. THAT MOVIE WAS WILD.

>>> OKAY. THAT MOVIE WAS WILD. >> YEAH, "PADDINGTON 3" WAS NOT

THAT MOVIE WAS WILD. >> YEAH, "PADDINGTON 3" WAS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED.

>> YEAH, "PADDINGTON 3" WAS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED. >> THAT WAS "COCAINE BEAR."

WHAT I EXPECTED. >> THAT WAS "COCAINE BEAR." >> OKAY.

>> THAT WAS "COCAINE BEAR." >> OKAY. I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT

>> OKAY. I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT PADDINGTON.

I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT PADDINGTON. >> SHOOT, ABBY, GRAHAM IS HERE.

PADDINGTON. >> SHOOT, ABBY, GRAHAM IS HERE. >> ABBY, WE CAN TOTALLY LEAVE.

>> SHOOT, ABBY, GRAHAM IS HERE. >> ABBY, WE CAN TOTALLY LEAVE. >> LOOK, Y'ALL, IT'S BEEN THREE

>> ABBY, WE CAN TOTALLY LEAVE. >> LOOK, Y'ALL, IT'S BEEN THREE YEARS, I CAN BE AROUND MY EX.

>> LOOK, Y'ALL, IT'S BEEN THREE YEARS, I CAN BE AROUND MY EX. M TOTALLY COOL.

YEARS, I CAN BE AROUND MY EX. M TOTALLY COOL. HEY, STRANGER.

M TOTALLY COOL. HEY, STRANGER. HOW ARE YOU, BUBBA?

HEY, STRANGER. HOW ARE YOU, BUBBA? >> WHOA, ABBY, IS BEEN A

HOW ARE YOU, BUBBA? >> WHOA, ABBY, IS BEEN A MINUTE.

>> WHOA, ABBY, IS BEEN A MINUTE. WHAT'S NEW?

MINUTE. WHAT'S NEW? >> I'M ACTUALLY IN THE BEST

WHAT'S NEW? >> I'M ACTUALLY IN THE BEST PLACE I HAVE BEEN IN A LONG

>> I'M ACTUALLY IN THE BEST PLACE I HAVE BEEN IN A LONG TIME.

PLACE I HAVE BEEN IN A LONG TIME. I'M WITH SOMEONE NEW, AND LIFE

TIME. I'M WITH SOMEONE NEW, AND LIFE IS PRETTY RAD.

I'M WITH SOMEONE NEW, AND LIFE IS PRETTY RAD. HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?

IS PRETTY RAD. HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? YOU LOOK LIKE HELL.

HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? YOU LOOK LIKE HELL. JUST KIDDING.

YOU LOOK LIKE HELL. JUST KIDDING. YOU LOOK AWESOME.

JUST KIDDING. YOU LOOK AWESOME. >> OH, YEAH, I'VE BEEN GOOD.

YOU LOOK AWESOME. >> OH, YEAH, I'VE BEEN GOOD. WORKING OUT A LOT.

>> OH, YEAH, I'VE BEEN GOOD. WORKING OUT A LOT. OH, AND THANKS FOR PAYING ME

WORKING OUT A LOT. OH, AND THANKS FOR PAYING ME BACK ABOUT MY CAR GETTING FIXED.

OH, AND THANKS FOR PAYING ME BACK ABOUT MY CAR GETTING FIXED. >> YEAH.

BACK ABOUT MY CAR GETTING FIXED. >> YEAH. SORRY I THREW THAT KETTLE BELL

>> YEAH. SORRY I THREW THAT KETTLE BELL THROUGH YOUR WINDSHIELD.

SORRY I THREW THAT KETTLE BELL THROUGH YOUR WINDSHIELD. I HAD A LOT TO PROCESS, BUT NOW

THROUGH YOUR WINDSHIELD. I HAD A LOT TO PROCESS, BUT NOW I CAN LOOK AT YOU WITH NO

I HAD A LOT TO PROCESS, BUT NOW I CAN LOOK AT YOU WITH NO ATTACHMENT, AND I THINK THAT'S

I CAN LOOK AT YOU WITH NO ATTACHMENT, AND I THINK THAT'S PRETTY FREAKING RAD.

ATTACHMENT, AND I THINK THAT'S PRETTY FREAKING RAD. >> SORRY, BABE.

PRETTY FREAKING RAD. >> SORRY, BABE. THE LINE FOR THE BATHROOM WAS

>> SORRY, BABE. THE LINE FOR THE BATHROOM WAS CRAZ

THE LINE FOR THE BATHROOM WAS CRAZ >> HI, BABE.

CRAZ >> HI, BABE. THIS IS MADISON.

>> HI, BABE. THIS IS MADISON. >> OH, YOU TWO ARE TOGETHER.

THIS IS MADISON. >> OH, YOU TWO ARE TOGETHER. CONGRATS.

>> OH, YOU TWO ARE TOGETHER. CONGRATS. YOU GOT YOURSELF A STUNNING

CONGRATS. YOU GOT YOURSELF A STUNNING GIRLFRIEND.

YOU GOT YOURSELF A STUNNING GIRLFRIEND. >> THIS IS MY FIANCE.

GIRLFRIEND. >> THIS IS MY FIANCE. >> YOUR --

>> THIS IS MY FIANCE. >> YOUR -- >> ABBY, ARE YOU CRYING?

>> YOUR -- >> ABBY, ARE YOU CRYING? >> NO.

>> ABBY, ARE YOU CRYING? >> NO. REMEMBER I JUST HAD THAT THING

>> NO. REMEMBER I JUST HAD THAT THING WITH MY EYES WHERE I HAVE TO

REMEMBER I JUST HAD THAT THING WITH MY EYES WHERE I HAVE TO POKE AT THEM.

WITH MY EYES WHERE I HAVE TO POKE AT THEM. >> I DON'T.

POKE AT THEM. >> I DON'T. BUT IF YOU SAY SO.

>> I DON'T. BUT IF YOU SAY SO. >> YEAH, YEAH.

BUT IF YOU SAY SO. >> YEAH, YEAH. SO HOW DID YOU TWO MEET?

>> YEAH, YEAH. SO HOW DID YOU TWO MEET? >> WE MET ON A LITTLE CRUISE.

SO HOW DID YOU TWO MEET? >> WE MET ON A LITTLE CRUISE. >> WELL, IT WASN'T A CRUISE FOR

>> WE MET ON A LITTLE CRUISE. >> WELL, IT WASN'T A CRUISE FOR ME.

>> WELL, IT WASN'T A CRUISE FOR ME. I'M A BOSUN ON BELOW DECK.

ME. I'M A BOSUN ON BELOW DECK. >> THAT'S MY DREAM JOB.

I'M A BOSUN ON BELOW DECK. >> THAT'S MY DREAM JOB. >> ABBY, ARE YOU OKAY?

>> THAT'S MY DREAM JOB. >> ABBY, ARE YOU OKAY? >> IT'S THE EYE THING AGAIN.

>> ABBY, ARE YOU OKAY? >> IT'S THE EYE THING AGAIN. I'M FINE.

>> IT'S THE EYE THING AGAIN. I'M FINE. I MIGHT JUST HAVE TO HOLD THEM.

I'M FINE. I MIGHT JUST HAVE TO HOLD THEM. YOU GUYS CAN KISS IF YOU WANT.

I MIGHT JUST HAVE TO HOLD THEM. YOU GUYS CAN KISS IF YOU WANT. I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS.

YOU GUYS CAN KISS IF YOU WANT. I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS. >> WE'RE REALLY NOT TRYING TO

I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS. >> WE'RE REALLY NOT TRYING TO KISS AT THIS MOMENT.

>> WE'RE REALLY NOT TRYING TO KISS AT THIS MOMENT. >> SO HOW DO YOU GUYS KNOW EACH

KISS AT THIS MOMENT. >> SO HOW DO YOU GUYS KNOW EACH OTHER?

>> SO HOW DO YOU GUYS KNOW EACH OTHER? H, GOD, GIRL, HOW LONG DO

OTHER? H, GOD, GIRL, HOW LONG DO YOU HAVE?

H, GOD, GIRL, HOW LONG DO YOU HAVE? >> ABBY AND I WENT ON ONE DATE

YOU HAVE? >> ABBY AND I WENT ON ONE DATE IN 2019.

>> ABBY AND I WENT ON ONE DATE IN 2019. >> OKAY.

IN 2019. >> OKAY. WE WENT ON THREE DATES.

>> OKAY. WE WENT ON THREE DATES. DINNER, MOVIE, AND A

WE WENT ON THREE DATES. DINNER, MOVIE, AND A WALK.

DINNER, MOVIE, AND A WALK. >> THE WALK WAS FROM DINNER TO

WALK. >> THE WALK WAS FROM DINNER TO THE MOVIE, AND THE WHOLE THING

>> THE WALK WAS FROM DINNER TO THE MOVIE, AND THE WHOLE THING WAS LIKE TWO HOURS.

THE MOVIE, AND THE WHOLE THING WAS LIKE TWO HOURS. >> IRREGARDLESS, GRAHAM AND I

WAS LIKE TWO HOURS. >> IRREGARDLESS, GRAHAM AND I HAVE HISTORY, BUT NOW I THINK

>> IRREGARDLESS, GRAHAM AND I HAVE HISTORY, BUT NOW I THINK WE'RE KILLING THIS FRIENDS

HAVE HISTORY, BUT NOW I THINK WE'RE KILLING THIS FRIENDS THING, BUBBA.

WE'RE KILLING THIS FRIENDS THING, BUBBA. >> WE'RE MOVING NEXT MONTH, BUT

THING, BUBBA. >> WE'RE MOVING NEXT MONTH, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO COME VISIT US IF

>> WE'RE MOVING NEXT MONTH, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO COME VISIT US IF YOU'RE EVER IN NEW ORLEANS.

YOU'LL HAVE TO COME VISIT US IF YOU'RE EVER IN NEW ORLEANS. >> WHERE THE SAINTS GO MARCHING

YOU'RE EVER IN NEW ORLEANS. >> WHERE THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN?

>> WHERE THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN? >> OH, MY GOD, ABBY, DO YOU NEED

IN? >> OH, MY GOD, ABBY, DO YOU NEED A TISSUE?

>> OH, MY GOD, ABBY, DO YOU NEED A TISSUE? >> NO.

A TISSUE? >> NO. BECAUSE THESE ARE HAPPY TEARS.

>> NO. BECAUSE THESE ARE HAPPY TEARS. >> WELL, THANKS.

BECAUSE THESE ARE HAPPY TEARS. >> WELL, THANKS. WE'RE REALLY HAPPY TOO.

>> WELL, THANKS. WE'RE REALLY HAPPY TOO. IT FEELS LIKE A GREAT PLACE TO

WE'RE REALLY HAPPY TOO. IT FEELS LIKE A GREAT PLACE TO RAISE A KID.

IT FEELS LIKE A GREAT PLACE TO RAISE A KID. >> YOU'RE PREGNANT?

RAISE A KID. >> YOU'RE PREGNANT? YES!

>> YOU'RE PREGNANT? YES! >> WE'RE DUE IN AUGUST, BUT

YES! >> WE'RE DUE IN AUGUST, BUT MAYBE WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT

>> WE'RE DUE IN AUGUST, BUT MAYBE WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE?

MAYBE WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE? I'M STARTING TO FEEL BAD.

SOMETHING ELSE? I'M STARTING TO FEEL BAD. >> YOU SHOULDN'T.

I'M STARTING TO FEEL BAD. >> YOU SHOULDN'T. IT WAS ONE DATE.

>> YOU SHOULDN'T. IT WAS ONE DATE. >> OKAY.

IT WAS ONE DATE. >> OKAY. LOOK.

>> OKAY. LOOK. NONE OF THAT MATTERS NOW,

LOOK. NONE OF THAT MATTERS NOW, BECAUSE LIKE I SAID, I'M IN A

NONE OF THAT MATTERS NOW, BECAUSE LIKE I SAID, I'M IN A RELATIONSHIP, AND IT'S SO GOOD.

BECAUSE LIKE I SAID, I'M IN A RELATIONSHIP, AND IT'S SO GOOD. HE'S A LITTLE BIT OLDER, AND

RELATIONSHIP, AND IT'S SO GOOD. HE'S A LITTLE BIT OLDER, AND HE'S TOTALLY RIPPED.

HE'S A LITTLE BIT OLDER, AND HE'S TOTALLY RIPPED. >> ABBY, THAT'S GREAT FOR YOU.

HE'S TOTALLY RIPPED. >> ABBY, THAT'S GREAT FOR YOU. I'M HAPPY.

>> ABBY, THAT'S GREAT FOR YOU. I'M HAPPY. >> HEY, BUBBA.

I'M HAPPY. >> HEY, BUBBA. SORRY I'M LATE.

>> HEY, BUBBA. SORRY I'M LATE. IS THIS GUY BOTHERING YOU?

SORRY I'M LATE. IS THIS GUY BOTHERING YOU? DO YOU NEED ME TO BEAT HIM UP?

IS THIS GUY BOTHERING YOU? DO YOU NEED ME TO BEAT HIM UP? BECAUSE I DEFINITELY COULD.

DO YOU NEED ME TO BEAT HIM UP? BECAUSE I DEFINITELY COULD. >> WAIT.

BECAUSE I DEFINITELY COULD. >> WAIT. THAT'S YOUR BOYFRIEND?

>> WAIT. THAT'S YOUR BOYFRIEND? IT'S TOTALLY COOL.

THAT'S YOUR BOYFRIEND? IT'S TOTALLY COOL. OH, MY GOD.

IT'S TOTALLY COOL. OH, MY GOD. IT'S TOTALLY COOL.

OH, MY GOD. IT'S TOTALLY COOL. OH, MY GOD.

>>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, KELSEA BALLERINI. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

BALLERINI. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ♪ WERE YOU ON THE OTHER LINE

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ♪ WERE YOU ON THE OTHER LINE OR DRIVING IN YOUR CAR

♪ WERE YOU ON THE OTHER LINE OR DRIVING IN YOUR CAR WERE YOU HIDING UPSTAIRS

OR DRIVING IN YOUR CAR WERE YOU HIDING UPSTAIRS OR PLAYING YOUR GUITAR ♪

WERE YOU HIDING UPSTAIRS OR PLAYING YOUR GUITAR ♪ ♪ WAS THERE NOTHING

OR PLAYING YOUR GUITAR ♪ ♪ WAS THERE NOTHING EVER WRONG

♪ WAS THERE NOTHING EVER WRONG 'CAUSE YOU WERE

EVER WRONG 'CAUSE YOU WERE ALWAYS RIGHT ♪

'CAUSE YOU WERE ALWAYS RIGHT ♪ ♪ TELL ME

ALWAYS RIGHT ♪ ♪ TELL ME WERE YOU BLINDSIDED

♪ TELL ME WERE YOU BLINDSIDED OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND ♪

WERE YOU BLINDSIDED OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND ♪ ♪ AND NOW YOU'RE SAYING

OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND ♪ ♪ AND NOW YOU'RE SAYING THAT YOU'RE LOST

♪ AND NOW YOU'RE SAYING THAT YOU'RE LOST AND THAT'S LOST ON ME ♪

THAT YOU'RE LOST AND THAT'S LOST ON ME ♪ ♪ YEARS OF SITTING

AND THAT'S LOST ON ME ♪ ♪ YEARS OF SITTING ACROSS FROM ME IN THERAPY ♪

♪ YEARS OF SITTING ACROSS FROM ME IN THERAPY ♪ ♪ I KNOW THE TRUTH

ACROSS FROM ME IN THERAPY ♪ ♪ I KNOW THE TRUTH IS HARD TO HEAR

♪ I KNOW THE TRUTH IS HARD TO HEAR BUT IT WASN'T HARD TO FIND ♪

IS HARD TO HEAR BUT IT WASN'T HARD TO FIND ♪ ♪ BABY WERE YOU BLINDSIDED

BUT IT WASN'T HARD TO FIND ♪ ♪ BABY WERE YOU BLINDSIDED OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND

♪ BABY WERE YOU BLINDSIDED OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND WERE YOU JUST BLIND ♪

OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND WERE YOU JUST BLIND ♪ ♪ I'D GO WRITE A SONG

WERE YOU JUST BLIND ♪ ♪ I'D GO WRITE A SONG AND YOU'D GO FOR A WALK

♪ I'D GO WRITE A SONG AND YOU'D GO FOR A WALK WE HAD TO T DRUNK

AND YOU'D GO FOR A WALK WE HAD TO T DRUNK TO EVER REALLY TALK ♪

WE HAD TO T DRUNK TO EVER REALLY TALK ♪ ♪ I TOLD YOU AT I NEEDED

TO EVER REALLY TALK ♪ ♪ I TOLD YOU AT I NEEDED DIDN'T HAVE TO READ MY MIND

♪ I TOLD YOU AT I NEEDED DIDN'T HAVE TO READ MY MIND SO WERE YOU BLINDSIDED

DIDN'T HAVE TO READ MY MIND SO WERE YOU BLINDSIDED OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND ♪

SO WERE YOU BLINDSIDED OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND ♪ ♪ AND NOW YOU'RE SAYING

OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND ♪ ♪ AND NOW YOU'RE SAYING THAT YOU'RE LOST

♪ AND NOW YOU'RE SAYING THAT YOU'RE LOST AND THAT'S LOST ON ME ♪

THAT YOU'RE LOST AND THAT'S LOST ON ME ♪ ♪ YOU DIDN'T EVER

AND THAT'S LOST ON ME ♪ ♪ YOU DIDN'T EVER WANNA LEAVE THE HOUSE

♪ YOU DIDN'T EVER WANNA LEAVE THE HOUSE OR DIDN'T WANT A FAMILY ♪

WANNA LEAVE THE HOUSE OR DIDN'T WANT A FAMILY ♪ ♪ I KNOW THE TRUTH

OR DIDN'T WANT A FAMILY ♪ ♪ I KNOW THE TRUTH IS HARD TO HEAR

♪ I KNOW THE TRUTH IS HARD TO HEAR BUT IT WASN'T HARD TO FIND ♪

IS HARD TO HEAR BUT IT WASN'T HARD TO FIND ♪ ♪ BABY WERE YOU BLINDSIDED

BUT IT WASN'T HARD TO FIND ♪ ♪ BABY WERE YOU BLINDSIDED OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND

♪ BABY WERE YOU BLINDSIDED OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND WERE YOU JUST

OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND WERE YOU JUST WERE YOU JUST ♪

WERE YOU JUST WERE YOU JUST ♪ ♪ LIKE THAT ONE TIME IN 2019

WERE YOU JUST ♪ ♪ LIKE THAT ONE TIME IN 2019 BEFORE THAT BIG SHOW

♪ LIKE THAT ONE TIME IN 2019 BEFORE THAT BIG SHOW WE HAD A BIG FIGHT ♪

BEFORE THAT BIG SHOW WE HAD A BIG FIGHT ♪ ♪ I SLEPT ON THE COUCH

WE HAD A BIG FIGHT ♪ ♪ I SLEPT ON THE COUCH AND THEN THE NEXT NIGHT

♪ I SLEPT ON THE COUCH AND THEN THE NEXT NIGHT YOU PUT ON YOUR SUIT ♪

AND THEN THE NEXT NIGHT YOU PUT ON YOUR SUIT ♪ ♪ I PUT ON A SMILE

YOU PUT ON YOUR SUIT ♪ ♪ I PUT ON A SMILE AND SANG ABOUT

♪ I PUT ON A SMILE AND SANG ABOUT HOW IT'S OKAY TO CRY

AND SANG ABOUT HOW IT'S OKAY TO CRY DYING INSIDE ♪

HOW IT'S OKAY TO CRY DYING INSIDE ♪ ♪ AND NOW YOU'RE SAYING

DYING INSIDE ♪ ♪ AND NOW YOU'RE SAYING THAT YOU'RE LOST

♪ AND NOW YOU'RE SAYING THAT YOU'RE LOST AND THAT'S LOST ON ME ♪

THAT YOU'RE LOST AND THAT'S LOST ON ME ♪ ♪ TELL ME

AND THAT'S LOST ON ME ♪ ♪ TELL ME WHEN DID I START

♪ TELL ME WHEN DID I START LOOKING LIKE THE ENEMY ♪

WHEN DID I START LOOKING LIKE THE ENEMY ♪ ♪ I KNOW THE TRUTH

LOOKING LIKE THE ENEMY ♪ ♪ I KNOW THE TRUTH IS HARD TO HEAR

♪ I KNOW THE TRUTH IS HARD TO HEAR YOU'VE GOT YOURS

IS HARD TO HEAR YOU'VE GOT YOURS AND I'VE GOT MINE ♪

YOU'VE GOT YOURS AND I'VE GOT MINE ♪ ♪ BABY WERE YOU BLINDSIDED

AND I'VE GOT MINE ♪ ♪ BABY WERE YOU BLINDSIDED OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND

♪ BABY WERE YOU BLINDSIDED OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND WERE YOU JUST BLIND YEAH

OR WERE YOU JUST BLIND WERE YOU JUST BLIND YEAH WERE YOU JUST BLIND ♪

WERE YOU JUST BLIND YEAH WERE YOU JUST BLIND ♪ ♪ WHOA YEAH

WERE YOU JUST BLIND ♪ ♪ WHOA YEAH WERE YOU WERE YOU JUST BLIND

♪ WHOA YEAH WERE YOU WERE YOU JUST BLIND BABY YEAH ♪

WERE YOU WERE YOU JUST BLIND BABY YEAH ♪ ♪

BABY YEAH ♪ ♪ ♪ NOW YOU'RE SINGING

♪ ♪ NOW YOU'RE SINGING OUT LOUD ON THE RADIO

♪ NOW YOU'RE SINGING OUT LOUD ON THE RADIO YOU COULDN'T SAY

OUT LOUD ON THE RADIO YOU COULDN'T SAY IT TO MY FACE ♪

YOU COULDN'T SAY IT TO MY FACE ♪ ♪ YOU WOULD'VE

IT TO MY FACE ♪ ♪ YOU WOULD'VE SEARCHED THE WHOLE WORLD OVER

♪ YOU WOULD'VE SEARCHED THE WHOLE WORLD OVER YEAH SURE OKAY ♪

SEARCHED THE WHOLE WORLD OVER YEAH SURE OKAY ♪ ♪ NOW YOU'RE SINGING

YEAH SURE OKAY ♪ ♪ NOW YOU'RE SINGING OUT LOUD ON THE RADIO

♪ NOW YOU'RE SINGING OUT LOUD ON THE RADIO BUT YOU'RE THE ONLY HEART

OUT LOUD ON THE RADIO BUT YOU'RE THE ONLY HEART THAT BREAKS ♪

BUT YOU'RE THE ONLY HEART THAT BREAKS ♪ ♪ YOU WOULD'VE

THAT BREAKS ♪ ♪ YOU WOULD'VE SEARCHED THE WHOLE WORLD OVER

♪ YOU WOULD'VE SEARCHED THE WHOLE WORLD OVER YEAH SURE OKAY ♪

SEARCHED THE WHOLE WORLD OVER YEAH SURE OKAY ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> Announcer: IT'S "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE.

UPDATE" WITH COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE. >> GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE.

MICHAEL CHE. >> GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. >> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE."

>> GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. >> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE." I'M MICHAEL CHE.

>> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE." I'M MICHAEL CHE. >> I'M COLIN JOST.

I'M MICHAEL CHE. >> I'M COLIN JOST. TENNESSEE GOVERNOR BILL LEE

>> I'M COLIN JOST. TENNESSEE GOVERNOR BILL LEE SIGNED A NEW LAW BANNING PUBLIC

TENNESSEE GOVERNOR BILL LEE SIGNED A NEW LAW BANNING PUBLIC DRAG PERFORMANCES WITH A

SIGNED A NEW LAW BANNING PUBLIC DRAG PERFORMANCES WITH A SIX-YEAR PRISON SENTENCE FOR

DRAG PERFORMANCES WITH A SIX-YEAR PRISON SENTENCE FOR REPEAT OFFENDERS AS FIRST

SIX-YEAR PRISON SENTENCE FOR REPEAT OFFENDERS AS FIRST PREDICTED IN THE

REPEAT OFFENDERS AS FIRST PREDICTED IN THE NOW-DOCUMENTARY,

PREDICTED IN THE NOW-DOCUMENTARY, MADEA GOES TO JAIL.

NOW-DOCUMENTARY, MADEA GOES TO JAIL. A TENNESSEE STATE SENATOR SAID

MADEA GOES TO JAIL. A TENNESSEE STATE SENATOR SAID THAT THE BILL WILL PREVENT KIDS

A TENNESSEE STATE SENATOR SAID THAT THE BILL WILL PREVENT KIDS FROM BEING BLIND SIDED FROM A

THAT THE BILL WILL PREVENT KIDS FROM BEING BLIND SIDED FROM A SEXUALIZED PERFORMANCE IN

FROM BEING BLIND SIDED FROM A SEXUALIZED PERFORMANCE IN PUBLIC.

SEXUALIZED PERFORMANCE IN PUBLIC. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

PUBLIC. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? DRAG SHOWS DON'T POP UP LIKE

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? DRAG SHOWS DON'T POP UP LIKE FLASH MOBS AND SPRINKLE GAY DUST

DRAG SHOWS DON'T POP UP LIKE FLASH MOBS AND SPRINKLE GAY DUST ON YOUR KIDS.

FLASH MOBS AND SPRINKLE GAY DUST ON YOUR KIDS. I HAVE BEEN BLINDSIDED BY A

ON YOUR KIDS. I HAVE BEEN BLINDSIDED BY A SEXUALIZED PERFORMANCE A FEW

I HAVE BEEN BLINDSIDED BY A SEXUALIZED PERFORMANCE A FEW TIMES, BUT THAT'S WHAT YOU GET

SEXUALIZED PERFORMANCE A FEW TIMES, BUT THAT'S WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU TAKE THE BUS.

TIMES, BUT THAT'S WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU TAKE THE BUS. >> THE U.S. ENERGY DEPARTMENT

WHEN YOU TAKE THE BUS. >> THE U.S. ENERGY DEPARTMENT CONCLUDED THAT COVID LIKELY

>> THE U.S. ENERGY DEPARTMENT CONCLUDED THAT COVID LIKELY ORIGINATED FROM A WUHAN

CONCLUDED THAT COVID LIKELY ORIGINATED FROM A WUHAN LABORATORY LEAK AND NOT A WET

ORIGINATED FROM A WUHAN LABORATORY LEAK AND NOT A WET MARKET.

LABORATORY LEAK AND NOT A WET MARKET. SO I GAVE UP EATING BATS FOR

MARKET. SO I GAVE UP EATING BATS FOR NOTHING?

SO I GAVE UP EATING BATS FOR NOTHING? NEWSPAPERS AROUND THE COUNTRY

NOTHING? NEWSPAPERS AROUND THE COUNTRY DROPPED THE CARTOON STRIP

NEWSPAPERS AROUND THE COUNTRY DROPPED THE CARTOON STRIP DILBERT AFTER CREATOR SCOTT

DROPPED THE CARTOON STRIP DILBERT AFTER CREATOR SCOTT ADAMS SAID HE CHOSE TO LIVE IN A

DILBERT AFTER CREATOR SCOTT ADAMS SAID HE CHOSE TO LIVE IN A COMMUNITY WHERE NO BLACK PEOPLE

ADAMS SAID HE CHOSE TO LIVE IN A COMMUNITY WHERE NO BLACK PEOPLE LIVE.

COMMUNITY WHERE NO BLACK PEOPLE LIVE. SO HE LIVES IN YOUR BUILDING,

LIVE. SO HE LIVES IN YOUR BUILDING, HUH, COLIN?

SO HE LIVES IN YOUR BUILDING, HUH, COLIN? >> NO.

HUH, COLIN? >> NO. NEWSPAPERS DROPPED THE CARTOON

>> NO. NEWSPAPERS DROPPED THE CARTOON STRIP EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, AND

NEWSPAPERS DROPPED THE CARTOON STRIP EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, AND TO RUB IT IN, THEY'RE REPLACING

STRIP EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, AND TO RUB IT IN, THEY'RE REPLACING DILBERT WITH PEANUT'S OOPS ALL

TO RUB IT IN, THEY'RE REPLACING DILBERT WITH PEANUT'S OOPS ALL FRANKLIN.

DILBERT WITH PEANUT'S OOPS ALL FRANKLIN. DILBERT CREATOR SCOTT ADAMS'

FRANKLIN. DILBERT CREATOR SCOTT ADAMS' RACIST RANT WAS IN RESPONSE TO A

DILBERT CREATOR SCOTT ADAMS' RACIST RANT WAS IN RESPONSE TO A POLL THAT ASKED THE QUESTION, IS

RACIST RANT WAS IN RESPONSE TO A POLL THAT ASKED THE QUESTION, IS IT OKAY TO BE WHITE.

POLL THAT ASKED THE QUESTION, IS IT OKAY TO BE WHITE. OH, I WOULD SAY IT'S MORE THAN

IT OKAY TO BE WHITE. OH, I WOULD SAY IT'S MORE THAN JUST OKAY.

OH, I WOULD SAY IT'S MORE THAN JUST OKAY. >> THE HOUSE ETHICS COMMITTEE

JUST OKAY. >> THE HOUSE ETHICS COMMITTEE HAS ANNOUNCED AN INVESTIGATION

>> THE HOUSE ETHICS COMMITTEE HAS ANNOUNCED AN INVESTIGATION INTO GEORGE SANTOS.

HAS ANNOUNCED AN INVESTIGATION INTO GEORGE SANTOS. WELL, THANK GOD I'M NOT GEORGE

INTO GEORGE SANTOS. WELL, THANK GOD I'M NOT GEORGE SANTOS, SAID GEORGE SANTOS.

WELL, THANK GOD I'M NOT GEORGE SANTOS, SAID GEORGE SANTOS. DONALD TRUMP ACCUSED RON

SANTOS, SAID GEORGE SANTOS. DONALD TRUMP ACCUSED RON DeSANTIS OF WANTING TO CUT

DONALD TRUMP ACCUSED RON DeSANTIS OF WANTING TO CUT SOCIAL SECURITY AND MEDICARE AND

DeSANTIS OF WANTING TO CUT SOCIAL SECURITY AND MEDICARE AND CALLED THE FLORIDA GOVERNOR A

SOCIAL SECURITY AND MEDICARE AND CALLED THE FLORIDA GOVERNOR A WHEELCHAIR-OVER-THE-CLIFF KIND

CALLED THE FLORIDA GOVERNOR A WHEELCHAIR-OVER-THE-CLIFF KIND OF GUY.

WHEELCHAIR-OVER-THE-CLIFF KIND OF GUY. THAT'S ALSO HOW MELANIA WILL

OF GUY. THAT'S ALSO HOW MELANIA WILL FINALLY GET RID OF HIM.

THAT'S ALSO HOW MELANIA WILL FINALLY GET RID OF HIM. >> HOUSE REPUBLICANS CONCERNED

FINALLY GET RID OF HIM. >> HOUSE REPUBLICANS CONCERNED THAT CHINA COULD USE TIKTOK TO

>> HOUSE REPUBLICANS CONCERNED THAT CHINA COULD USE TIKTOK TO ILLEGALLY GATHER INFORMATION ON

THAT CHINA COULD USE TIKTOK TO ILLEGALLY GATHER INFORMATION ON AMERICANS HAVE VOTED ON A BILL

ILLEGALLY GATHER INFORMATION ON AMERICANS HAVE VOTED ON A BILL THAT WOULD BAN THE APP

AMERICANS HAVE VOTED ON A BILL THAT WOULD BAN THE APP NATIONWIDE.

THAT WOULD BAN THE APP NATIONWIDE. REPLIED TIKTOK USERS --

NATIONWIDE. REPLIED TIKTOK USERS -- ♪

REPLIED TIKTOK USERS -- ♪ >> THAT'S HOW HE REALLY DANCES

♪ >> THAT'S HOW HE REALLY DANCES TOO.

>> THAT'S HOW HE REALLY DANCES TOO. >> FIRST LADY JILL BIDEN SAID IN

TOO. >> FIRST LADY JILL BIDEN SAID IN AN INTERVIEW SHE MAINTAINS A

>> FIRST LADY JILL BIDEN SAID IN AN INTERVIEW SHE MAINTAINS A GOOD BALANCE IN THE TYPES OF

AN INTERVIEW SHE MAINTAINS A GOOD BALANCE IN THE TYPES OF ADVICE SHE OFFERS PRESIDENT

GOOD BALANCE IN THE TYPES OF ADVICE SHE OFFERS PRESIDENT BIDEN, BUT IT'S MOSTLY, HOLD ON

ADVICE SHE OFFERS PRESIDENT BIDEN, BUT IT'S MOSTLY, HOLD ON TO THE RAILING.

BIDEN, BUT IT'S MOSTLY, HOLD ON TO THE RAILING. THIS WEEK, SOUTH CAROLINA

TO THE RAILING. THIS WEEK, SOUTH CAROLINA ATTORNEY ALEX MURDAUGH WAS FOUND

THIS WEEK, SOUTH CAROLINA ATTORNEY ALEX MURDAUGH WAS FOUND GUILTY OF MURDER AND ALSO FOUND

ATTORNEY ALEX MURDAUGH WAS FOUND GUILTY OF MURDER AND ALSO FOUND GUILTY OF LOOKING LIKE WILL

GUILTY OF MURDER AND ALSO FOUND GUILTY OF LOOKING LIKE WILL FERRELL DRESSED AS CONAN

GUILTY OF LOOKING LIKE WILL FERRELL DRESSED AS CONAN O'BRIEN.

FERRELL DRESSED AS CONAN O'BRIEN. >> NEWSPAPERS AROUND THE COUNTRY

O'BRIEN. >> NEWSPAPERS AROUND THE COUNTRY ARE DROPPING BELOVED COMIC STRIP

>> NEWSPAPERS AROUND THE COUNTRY ARE DROPPING BELOVED COMIC STRIP DILBERT, AS ITS CREATOR SCOTT

ARE DROPPING BELOVED COMIC STRIP DILBERT, AS ITS CREATOR SCOTT ADAMS WENT ON A RACIST RANT LAST

DILBERT, AS ITS CREATOR SCOTT ADAMS WENT ON A RACIST RANT LAST WEEK ADVOCATING FOR WHITE PEOPLE

ADAMS WENT ON A RACIST RANT LAST WEEK ADVOCATING FOR WHITE PEOPLE TO GET THE HELL AWAY FROM BLACK

WEEK ADVOCATING FOR WHITE PEOPLE TO GET THE HELL AWAY FROM BLACK PEOPLE.

TO GET THE HELL AWAY FROM BLACK PEOPLE. OFF THE RECORD, HE'S GOT A

PEOPLE. OFF THE RECORD, HE'S GOT A POINT.

OFF THE RECORD, HE'S GOT A POINT. HERE TO COMMENT -- THAT'S WHAT

POINT. HERE TO COMMENT -- THAT'S WHAT THE CARD SAYS.

HERE TO COMMENT -- THAT'S WHAT THE CARD SAYS. BUT HERE TO COMMENT IS DILBERT!

THE CARD SAYS. BUT HERE TO COMMENT IS DILBERT! >> HEY, MICHAEL.

BUT HERE TO COMMENT IS DILBERT! >> HEY, MICHAEL. >> HI, DILBERT.

>> HEY, MICHAEL. >> HI, DILBERT. SO HAD YOU EVER SEEN THIS SIDE

>> HI, DILBERT. SO HAD YOU EVER SEEN THIS SIDE OF SCOTT ADAMS BEFORE?

SO HAD YOU EVER SEEN THIS SIDE OF SCOTT ADAMS BEFORE? >> MICHAEL, I THINK I CAN SPEAK

OF SCOTT ADAMS BEFORE? >> MICHAEL, I THINK I CAN SPEAK FOR MYSELF AND THE ENTIRE ALL

>> MICHAEL, I THINK I CAN SPEAK FOR MYSELF AND THE ENTIRE ALL WHITE STAFF AT THE DILBERT

FOR MYSELF AND THE ENTIRE ALL WHITE STAFF AT THE DILBERT OFFICES WHEN I SAY THIS WAS A

WHITE STAFF AT THE DILBERT OFFICES WHEN I SAY THIS WAS A TOTAL SHOCK.

OFFICES WHEN I SAY THIS WAS A TOTAL SHOCK. I MEAN MOST CARTOONISTS ARE

TOTAL SHOCK. I MEAN MOST CARTOONISTS ARE WEIRD, BUT RACIST WEIRD?

I MEAN MOST CARTOONISTS ARE WEIRD, BUT RACIST WEIRD? LET'S JUST SAY I NEVER GOT THAT

WEIRD, BUT RACIST WEIRD? LET'S JUST SAY I NEVER GOT THAT MEMO.

LET'S JUST SAY I NEVER GOT THAT MEMO. RIGHT?

MEMO. RIGHT? MEMOS.

RIGHT? MEMOS. WORK IS BORING, BUT I CAN BE

MEMOS. WORK IS BORING, BUT I CAN BE FUNNY TOO.

WORK IS BORING, BUT I CAN BE FUNNY TOO. THAT'S KIND OF MY THING.

FUNNY TOO. THAT'S KIND OF MY THING. >> SO YOU JUST THOUGHT SCOTT WAS

THAT'S KIND OF MY THING. >> SO YOU JUST THOUGHT SCOTT WAS WEIRD?

>> SO YOU JUST THOUGHT SCOTT WAS WEIRD? >> NO.

WEIRD? >> NO. I KNEW HE WAS BAD.

>> NO. I KNEW HE WAS BAD. HE MADE ME GO INTO THE OFFICE

I KNEW HE WAS BAD. HE MADE ME GO INTO THE OFFICE EVERY DAY DURING COVID, AND HE

HE MADE ME GO INTO THE OFFICE EVERY DAY DURING COVID, AND HE KNOWS I'M

EVERY DAY DURING COVID, AND HE KNOWS I'M AUTOIMMUNE.

KNOWS I'M AUTOIMMUNE. >> YOU'RE AUTOIMMUNE?

AUTOIMMUNE. >> YOU'RE AUTOIMMUNE? >> DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEBODY WHO'S

>> YOU'RE AUTOIMMUNE? >> DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEBODY WHO'S NOT AUTOIMMUNE?

>> DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEBODY WHO'S NOT AUTOIMMUNE? I'M A REAL ATHLETE.

NOT AUTOIMMUNE? I'M A REAL ATHLETE. MY HAIR IS SKIN, MICHAEL.

I'M A REAL ATHLETE. MY HAIR IS SKIN, MICHAEL. >> YOUR HAIR IS SKIN?

MY HAIR IS SKIN, MICHAEL. >> YOUR HAIR IS SKIN? >> YES.

>> YOUR HAIR IS SKIN? >> YES. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH.

>> YES. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. MY HAIR IS ENTIRELY SKIN, AND IT

I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. MY HAIR IS ENTIRELY SKIN, AND IT HAS BEEN THE GREAT TRAGEDY OF MY

MY HAIR IS ENTIRELY SKIN, AND IT HAS BEEN THE GREAT TRAGEDY OF MY LIFE.

HAS BEEN THE GREAT TRAGEDY OF MY LIFE. >> I'M VERY SORRY.

LIFE. >> I'M VERY SORRY. >> NO.

>> I'M VERY SORRY. >> NO. I'M SORRY, MICHAEL, FOR RACISM.

>> NO. I'M SORRY, MICHAEL, FOR RACISM. MAYBE I WAS JUST BLIND TO IT.

I'M SORRY, MICHAEL, FOR RACISM. MAYBE I WAS JUST BLIND TO IT. I MEAN, MY GLASSES ARE LITERALLY

MAYBE I WAS JUST BLIND TO IT. I MEAN, MY GLASSES ARE LITERALLY OPEC WHITE.

I MEAN, MY GLASSES ARE LITERALLY OPEC WHITE. TO ME, HE WAS JUST SCOTT, THE

OPEC WHITE. TO ME, HE WAS JUST SCOTT, THE FUNNY GUY, THE TRUMP-SUPPORTING

TO ME, HE WAS JUST SCOTT, THE FUNNY GUY, THE TRUMP-SUPPORTING CARTOONIST WHO DID MAGIC IN HIS

FUNNY GUY, THE TRUMP-SUPPORTING CARTOONIST WHO DID MAGIC IN HIS SPARE TIME.

CARTOONIST WHO DID MAGIC IN HIS SPARE TIME. HAD A GREAT KEVIN HART

SPARE TIME. HAD A GREAT KEVIN HART IMPRESSION.

HAD A GREAT KEVIN HART IMPRESSION. >> WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A

IMPRESSION. >> WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A RACIST TO ME.

>> WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A RACIST TO ME. >> WELL, TURNS OUT HE WAS A

RACIST TO ME. >> WELL, TURNS OUT HE WAS A RACIST.

>> WELL, TURNS OUT HE WAS A RACIST. I'M HIS PRIZED CREATION.

RACIST. I'M HIS PRIZED CREATION. WHAT DOES THAT MAKE ME?

I'M HIS PRIZED CREATION. WHAT DOES THAT MAKE ME? I WANTED ANSWERS, SO I TOOK A --

WHAT DOES THAT MAKE ME? I WANTED ANSWERS, SO I TOOK A -- GOD FORBID -- PERSONAL DAY, AND

I WANTED ANSWERS, SO I TOOK A -- GOD FORBID -- PERSONAL DAY, AND REALLY STARTED TO DIG IN ON

GOD FORBID -- PERSONAL DAY, AND REALLY STARTED TO DIG IN ON THE CONCEPT OF WHAT IS WORK,

REALLY STARTED TO DIG IN ON THE CONCEPT OF WHAT IS WORK, READING LOTS OF BLACK RADICALS,

THE CONCEPT OF WHAT IS WORK, READING LOTS OF BLACK RADICALS, AND I REALIZED SOMETHING.

READING LOTS OF BLACK RADICALS, AND I REALIZED SOMETHING. EVEN MUNDANE WORK SERVES TO

AND I REALIZED SOMETHING. EVEN MUNDANE WORK SERVES TO UPHOLD A CAPITALIST SYSTEM BASED

EVEN MUNDANE WORK SERVES TO UPHOLD A CAPITALIST SYSTEM BASED ON MAINTAINING RACIAL HIERARCHY,

UPHOLD A CAPITALIST SYSTEM BASED ON MAINTAINING RACIAL HIERARCHY, BUT THAT'S ALL ABOUT TO CHANGE.

ON MAINTAINING RACIAL HIERARCHY, BUT THAT'S ALL ABOUT TO CHANGE. RACE WAR IS COMING.

BUT THAT'S ALL ABOUT TO CHANGE. RACE WAR IS COMING. YOU READY, MICHAEL?

RACE WAR IS COMING. YOU READY, MICHAEL? >> WHAT?

YOU READY, MICHAEL? >> WHAT? >> ARE YOU READY?

>> WHAT? >> ARE YOU READY? BECAUSE DILBERT'S READY.

>> ARE YOU READY? BECAUSE DILBERT'S READY. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING READY TO

BECAUSE DILBERT'S READY. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING READY TO TAKE THE STREETS AND PAINT THE

I WOKE UP THIS MORNING READY TO TAKE THE STREETS AND PAINT THE CITY WITH THE BLOOD OF THE WHITE

TAKE THE STREETS AND PAINT THE CITY WITH THE BLOOD OF THE WHITE MAN.

CITY WITH THE BLOOD OF THE WHITE MAN. >> THAT'S PRETTY INTENSE, MAN.

MAN. >> THAT'S PRETTY INTENSE, MAN. >> YEAH.

>> THAT'S PRETTY INTENSE, MAN. >> YEAH. THEN I HAD A CUP OF COFFEE, AND

>> YEAH. THEN I HAD A CUP OF COFFEE, AND LIKE I ALWAYS SAY, DON'T EVEN

THEN I HAD A CUP OF COFFEE, AND LIKE I ALWAYS SAY, DON'T EVEN TALK TO ME BEFORE MY COFFEE.

LIKE I ALWAYS SAY, DON'T EVEN TALK TO ME BEFORE MY COFFEE. >> I GOT IT.

TALK TO ME BEFORE MY COFFEE. >> I GOT IT. WELL, DILBERT, EVERYBODY.

>> I GOT IT. WELL, DILBERT, EVERYBODY. >> THIS COULD HAVE BEEN AN

WELL, DILBERT, EVERYBODY. >> THIS COULD HAVE BEEN AN EMAIL.

>> THIS COULD HAVE BEEN AN EMAIL. >> AS THIS YEAR'S AWARD SEASON

EMAIL. >> AS THIS YEAR'S AWARD SEASON GETS UNDERWAY, THERE'S GROWING

>> AS THIS YEAR'S AWARD SEASON GETS UNDERWAY, THERE'S GROWING MOVEMENT TO GET RID OF THE

GETS UNDERWAY, THERE'S GROWING MOVEMENT TO GET RID OF THE GENDERS CATEGORIES OF BEST ACTOR

MOVEMENT TO GET RID OF THE GENDERS CATEGORIES OF BEST ACTOR AND ACTRESS, AND INSTEAD CALL

GENDERS CATEGORIES OF BEST ACTOR AND ACTRESS, AND INSTEAD CALL THEM BEST ACTOR WITH AND BEST

AND ACTRESS, AND INSTEAD CALL THEM BEST ACTOR WITH AND BEST ACTOR WHO GOD PAID LESS.

THEM BEST ACTOR WITH AND BEST ACTOR WHO GOD PAID LESS. >> A MAN IN MISSOURI IS PLANNING

ACTOR WHO GOD PAID LESS. >> A MAN IN MISSOURI IS PLANNING TO TURN AN ABANDONED JAIL INTO

>> A MAN IN MISSOURI IS PLANNING TO TURN AN ABANDONED JAIL INTO AN AIRBNB RENTAL, WHICH WILL

TO TURN AN ABANDONED JAIL INTO AN AIRBNB RENTAL, WHICH WILL MAKE IT THE FIRST JAIL THAT

AN AIRBNB RENTAL, WHICH WILL MAKE IT THE FIRST JAIL THAT REFUSES TO ACCEPT BLACK PEOPLE.

MAKE IT THE FIRST JAIL THAT REFUSES TO ACCEPT BLACK PEOPLE. IT WAS ANNOUNCED THAT PUERTO

REFUSES TO ACCEPT BLACK PEOPLE. IT WAS ANNOUNCED THAT PUERTO RICO'S ONLY ZOO WAS CLOSING

IT WAS ANNOUNCED THAT PUERTO RICO'S ONLY ZOO WAS CLOSING AFTER YEARS OF ALLEGED ANIMAL

RICO'S ONLY ZOO WAS CLOSING AFTER YEARS OF ALLEGED ANIMAL NEGLECT.

AFTER YEARS OF ALLEGED ANIMAL NEGLECT. WORSE THE ZOO'S CLOSING IS BEING

NEGLECT. WORSE THE ZOO'S CLOSING IS BEING ADVERTISED AS ALL YOU CAN EAT.

WORSE THE ZOO'S CLOSING IS BEING ADVERTISED AS ALL YOU CAN EAT. >> BIOLOGISTS IN FLORIDA ARE

ADVERTISED AS ALL YOU CAN EAT. >> BIOLOGISTS IN FLORIDA ARE WARNING THE JESUS CHRIST LIZARD

>> BIOLOGISTS IN FLORIDA ARE WARNING THE JESUS CHRIST LIZARD COULD SPREAD HARMFUL DISEASES TO

WARNING THE JESUS CHRIST LIZARD COULD SPREAD HARMFUL DISEASES TO HUMAN.

COULD SPREAD HARMFUL DISEASES TO HUMAN. THEY HOPE TO CONTROL THE

HUMAN. THEY HOPE TO CONTROL THE POPULATION BY INTRODUCING A

THEY HOPE TO CONTROL THE POPULATION BY INTRODUCING A PUNCTIOUS PILOT LIZARD.

POPULATION BY INTRODUCING A PUNCTIOUS PILOT LIZARD. IT WAS REPORTED THE JAMES BOND

PUNCTIOUS PILOT LIZARD. IT WAS REPORTED THE JAMES BOND BOOKS ARE BEING REWRITTEN TO

IT WAS REPORTED THE JAMES BOND BOOKS ARE BEING REWRITTEN TO ELIMINATE OFFENSIVE MATERIAL.

BOOKS ARE BEING REWRITTEN TO ELIMINATE OFFENSIVE MATERIAL. SO NOW THE CHARACTER PUSSY

ELIMINATE OFFENSIVE MATERIAL. SO NOW THE CHARACTER PUSSY GALORE WILL NOW BE CALLS COOTER

SO NOW THE CHARACTER PUSSY GALORE WILL NOW BE CALLS COOTER APLENTY.

GALORE WILL NOW BE CALLS COOTER APLENTY. >> A CALIFORNIA MAN HAS SET A

APLENTY. >> A CALIFORNIA MAN HAS SET A NEW WORLD RECORD BY VISITING

>> A CALIFORNIA MAN HAS SET A NEW WORLD RECORD BY VISITING DISNEYLAND FOR 2,995 CONSECUTIVE

NEW WORLD RECORD BY VISITING DISNEYLAND FOR 2,995 CONSECUTIVE DAYS, BUT STILL NO SIGN OF HIS

DISNEYLAND FOR 2,995 CONSECUTIVE DAYS, BUT STILL NO SIGN OF HIS KID.

DAYS, BUT STILL NO SIGN OF HIS KID. I TRIED TO PLOW RIGHT THROUGH.

KID. I TRIED TO PLOW RIGHT THROUGH. A NEW STUDY FINDS THAT MARRIED

I TRIED TO PLOW RIGHT THROUGH. A NEW STUDY FINDS THAT MARRIED MEN LIVE A LONGER, HEALTHIER

A NEW STUDY FINDS THAT MARRIED MEN LIVE A LONGER, HEALTHIER LIFE.

MEN LIVE A LONGER, HEALTHIER LIFE. YEAH, BUT, FOR WHAT?

LIFE. YEAH, BUT, FOR WHAT? >> WELL, THE OSCARS ARE ALMOST

YEAH, BUT, FOR WHAT? >> WELL, THE OSCARS ARE ALMOST HERE.

>> WELL, THE OSCARS ARE ALMOST HERE. HERE TO BREAK DOWN THE NOMINEES

HERE. HERE TO BREAK DOWN THE NOMINEES AND ALL THINGS HOLLYWOOD ARE

HERE TO BREAK DOWN THE NOMINEES AND ALL THINGS HOLLYWOOD ARE PUNKIE JOHNSON AND MIKEY DAY.

AND ALL THINGS HOLLYWOOD ARE PUNKIE JOHNSON AND MIKEY DAY. >> ALL RIGHT, GUYS, SO WHAT CAN

PUNKIE JOHNSON AND MIKEY DAY. >> ALL RIGHT, GUYS, SO WHAT CAN WE EXPECT FROM THIS YEAR'S

>> ALL RIGHT, GUYS, SO WHAT CAN WE EXPECT FROM THIS YEAR'S OSCARS?

WE EXPECT FROM THIS YEAR'S OSCARS? >> WELL, COLIN, I WOULD LOVE TO

OSCARS? >> WELL, COLIN, I WOULD LOVE TO TELL YOU BUT WHEN PUNKIE AND I

>> WELL, COLIN, I WOULD LOVE TO TELL YOU BUT WHEN PUNKIE AND I SAT DOWN TO WORK ON THIS, WE

TELL YOU BUT WHEN PUNKIE AND I SAT DOWN TO WORK ON THIS, WE REALIZED THAT PUNKIE DOES NOT

SAT DOWN TO WORK ON THIS, WE REALIZED THAT PUNKIE DOES NOT KNOW ANY OTHER CELEBRITIES OR

REALIZED THAT PUNKIE DOES NOT KNOW ANY OTHER CELEBRITIES OR ENTERTAINERS.

KNOW ANY OTHER CELEBRITIES OR ENTERTAINERS. >> THIS IS TRUE.

ENTERTAINERS. >> THIS IS TRUE. >> SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW THEIR

>> THIS IS TRUE. >> SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW THEIR NAMES REALLY.

>> SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW THEIR NAMES REALLY. HERE ARE SOME EXAMPLES, AND

NAMES REALLY. HERE ARE SOME EXAMPLES, AND THESE ARE ALL 100% TRUE STORIES.

HERE ARE SOME EXAMPLES, AND THESE ARE ALL 100% TRUE STORIES. I ONCE SAW PUNKIE CALL TONY

THESE ARE ALL 100% TRUE STORIES. I ONCE SAW PUNKIE CALL TONY HAWK, TONY HAWKING TO HIS FACE.

I ONCE SAW PUNKIE CALL TONY HAWK, TONY HAWKING TO HIS FACE. >> YOU CONFUSED THE MOST FAMOUS

HAWK, TONY HAWKING TO HIS FACE. >> YOU CONFUSED THE MOST FAMOUS SKATEBOARDER OF ALL TIME WITH

>> YOU CONFUSED THE MOST FAMOUS SKATEBOARDER OF ALL TIME WITH THE GENIUS PHYSICIST STEVEN

SKATEBOARDER OF ALL TIME WITH THE GENIUS PHYSICIST STEVEN HAWKING?

THE GENIUS PHYSICIST STEVEN HAWKING? >> I MEAN, LOOK, THEY BOTH WHITE

HAWKING? >> I MEAN, LOOK, THEY BOTH WHITE MEN WITH WHEELS, SO I MEAN --

>> I MEAN, LOOK, THEY BOTH WHITE MEN WITH WHEELS, SO I MEAN -- >> BUT THE BEST THING THAT HAS

MEN WITH WHEELS, SO I MEAN -- >> BUT THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED WAS A FEW WEEKS

>> BUT THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED WAS A FEW WEEKS AGO WHEN PUNKIE TOLD ME ALL OF

EVER HAPPENED WAS A FEW WEEKS AGO WHEN PUNKIE TOLD ME ALL OF HER FRIENDS COULD NOT

AGO WHEN PUNKIE TOLD ME ALL OF HER FRIENDS COULD NOT BELIEVE SHE MET RICK BERNSTEIN.

HER FRIENDS COULD NOT BELIEVE SHE MET RICK BERNSTEIN. >> AND WHO IS RICK BERNSTEIN?

BELIEVE SHE MET RICK BERNSTEIN. >> AND WHO IS RICK BERNSTEIN? >> THAT'S WHAT I SAID.

>> AND WHO IS RICK BERNSTEIN? >> THAT'S WHAT I SAID. >> SO I SAID, IT'S THE GUY WITH

>> THAT'S WHAT I SAID. >> SO I SAID, IT'S THE GUY WITH THE JEANS.

>> SO I SAID, IT'S THE GUY WITH THE JEANS. >> THE GUY WITH THE JEANS.

THE JEANS. >> THE GUY WITH THE JEANS. I EVENTUALLY FIGURED OUT THAT

>> THE GUY WITH THE JEANS. I EVENTUALLY FIGURED OUT THAT PUNKIE WAS REFERRING TO LIVING

I EVENTUALLY FIGURED OUT THAT PUNKIE WAS REFERRING TO LIVING LEGEND BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN.

PUNKIE WAS REFERRING TO LIVING LEGEND BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN. RICK BERNSTEIN!

LEGEND BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN. RICK BERNSTEIN! >> ALL RIGHT.

RICK BERNSTEIN! >> ALL RIGHT. LOOK, I GREW UP ON EDDIE MURPHY

>> ALL RIGHT. LOOK, I GREW UP ON EDDIE MURPHY AND RICHARD PRYOR.

LOOK, I GREW UP ON EDDIE MURPHY AND RICHARD PRYOR. THAT DUDE AIN'T BIG IN MY HOUSE.

AND RICHARD PRYOR. THAT DUDE AIN'T BIG IN MY HOUSE. SUE A BITCH.

THAT DUDE AIN'T BIG IN MY HOUSE. SUE A BITCH. >> SO INSTEAD OF A OSCARS PIECE,

SUE A BITCH. >> SO INSTEAD OF A OSCARS PIECE, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE WAY MORE

>> SO INSTEAD OF A OSCARS PIECE, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE WAY MORE FUN TO PLAY A GAME CALLED WHO

I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE WAY MORE FUN TO PLAY A GAME CALLED WHO DOES PUNKIE MEAN.

FUN TO PLAY A GAME CALLED WHO DOES PUNKIE MEAN. ARE YOU DOWN TO PLAY?

DOES PUNKIE MEAN. ARE YOU DOWN TO PLAY? >> I FEEL LIKE I DON'T HAVE A

ARE YOU DOWN TO PLAY? >> I FEEL LIKE I DON'T HAVE A CHASE.

>> I FEEL LIKE I DON'T HAVE A CHASE. >> ALL RIGHT.

CHASE. >> ALL RIGHT. EVERYONE, YOU CAN PLAY ALONG

>> ALL RIGHT. EVERYONE, YOU CAN PLAY ALONG IT'S SUPER FUN.

EVERYONE, YOU CAN PLAY ALONG IT'S SUPER FUN. NUMBER ONE.

IT'S SUPER FUN. NUMBER ONE. PUNKIE REFERRED TO THIS

NUMBER ONE. PUNKIE REFERRED TO THIS CELEBRITY IN REAL LIFE AS CLAIRE

PUNKIE REFERRED TO THIS CELEBRITY IN REAL LIFE AS CLAIRE BLANKENSHIP.

CELEBRITY IN REAL LIFE AS CLAIRE BLANKENSHIP. >> I DON'T KNOW.

BLANKENSHIP. >> I DON'T KNOW. CLARA DANES, MAYBE.

>> I DON'T KNOW. CLARA DANES, MAYBE. >> LET'S SEE.

CLARA DANES, MAYBE. >> LET'S SEE. IS IT CLARA DANES?

>> LET'S SEE. IS IT CLARA DANES? NO.

IS IT CLARA DANES? NO. IT'S ANNE HATHAWAY.

NO. IT'S ANNE HATHAWAY. >> WAIT.

IT'S ANNE HATHAWAY. >> WAIT. >> THAT REALLY HAPPEN ED

>> WAIT. >> THAT REALLY HAPPEN ED >> NO.

>> THAT REALLY HAPPEN ED >> NO. WAIT, TIME-OUT.

>> NO. WAIT, TIME-OUT. PUT THE PICTURE BACK UP.

WAIT, TIME-OUT. PUT THE PICTURE BACK UP. BUT DOES THIS BITCH NOT LOOK

PUT THE PICTURE BACK UP. BUT DOES THIS BITCH NOT LOOK LIKE A CLAIRE?

BUT DOES THIS BITCH NOT LOOK LIKE A CLAIRE? >> SHE DOES.

LIKE A CLAIRE? >> SHE DOES. THAT'S FAIR.

>> SHE DOES. THAT'S FAIR. NUMBER TWO, ZOE DECHANESE.

THAT'S FAIR. NUMBER TWO, ZOE DECHANESE. WHO DOES PUNKIE MEAN?

NUMBER TWO, ZOE DECHANESE. WHO DOES PUNKIE MEAN? TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE THINKING,

WHO DOES PUNKIE MEAN? TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, COLIN.

TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, COLIN. >> I'M THINKING THIS ONE HAS

COLIN. >> I'M THINKING THIS ONE HAS TO BE ZOE DESCHANEL.

>> I'M THINKING THIS ONE HAS TO BE ZOE DESCHANEL. >> LOCK IT IN.

TO BE ZOE DESCHANEL. >> LOCK IT IN. NOPE.

>> LOCK IT IN. NOPE. IT'S ZOE KRAVITZ.

NOPE. IT'S ZOE KRAVITZ. >> WHAT?

IT'S ZOE KRAVITZ. >> WHAT? >> ALL RIGHT.

>> WHAT? >> ALL RIGHT. LOOK.

>> ALL RIGHT. LOOK. SEE, WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS, I

LOOK. SEE, WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS, I WAS GETTING MY MAKEUP DONE FOR

SEE, WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS, I WAS GETTING MY MAKEUP DONE FOR SATURDAY'S SHOW BECAUSE I GOT TO

WAS GETTING MY MAKEUP DONE FOR SATURDAY'S SHOW BECAUSE I GOT TO LOOK GOOD FOR NORA MICHAELS.

SATURDAY'S SHOW BECAUSE I GOT TO LOOK GOOD FOR NORA MICHAELS. >> NORA MICHAELS?

LOOK GOOD FOR NORA MICHAELS. >> NORA MICHAELS? >> ANYWAY, I SEE ZOE WALK PAST,

>> NORA MICHAELS? >> ANYWAY, I SEE ZOE WALK PAST, AND I SAID, HEY, DON'T I KNOW

>> ANYWAY, I SEE ZOE WALK PAST, AND I SAID, HEY, DON'T I KNOW YOU?

AND I SAID, HEY, DON'T I KNOW YOU? >> YES, YOU DID BECAUSE SHE WAS

YOU? >> YES, YOU DID BECAUSE SHE WAS HOSTING THIS SHOW.

>> YES, YOU DID BECAUSE SHE WAS HOSTING THIS SHOW. THAT HAPPENED THAT WEEK.

HOSTING THIS SHOW. THAT HAPPENED THAT WEEK. >> MY BAD, MS. DACHANESE.

THAT HAPPENED THAT WEEK. >> MY BAD, MS. DACHANESE. >> OKAY.

>> MY BAD, MS. DACHANESE. >> OKAY. LAST ONE.

>> OKAY. LAST ONE. HERE WE GO.

LAST ONE. HERE WE GO. PATRICK DEMPSEY.

HERE WE GO. PATRICK DEMPSEY. >> I THINK THERE'S NO WAY SHE

PATRICK DEMPSEY. >> I THINK THERE'S NO WAY SHE KNOWS WHO PATRICK DEMPSEY IS.

>> I THINK THERE'S NO WAY SHE KNOWS WHO PATRICK DEMPSEY IS. I GUESS I'M GOING TO SAY PATRICK

KNOWS WHO PATRICK DEMPSEY IS. I GUESS I'M GOING TO SAY PATRICK STEWART.

I GUESS I'M GOING TO SAY PATRICK STEWART. >> NOPE.

STEWART. >> NOPE. SHE ACTUALLY DID MEAN PATRICK

>> NOPE. SHE ACTUALLY DID MEAN PATRICK DEMPSEY.

SHE ACTUALLY DID MEAN PATRICK DEMPSEY. >> YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I KNOW

DEMPSEY. >> YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I KNOW DEMPSEY.

>> YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I KNOW DEMPSEY. DR. DEREK SHE EVER, BABY.

DEMPSEY. DR. DEREK SHE EVER, BABY. >> YOU WATCH "GREY'S ANATOMY?"

DR. DEREK SHE EVER, BABY. >> YOU WATCH "GREY'S ANATOMY?" >> OF COURSE I DO.

>> YOU WATCH "GREY'S ANATOMY?" >> OF COURSE I DO. I KNOW EVERY SHOW WITH SHONDA

>> OF COURSE I DO. I KNOW EVERY SHOW WITH SHONDA RHIMES.

I KNOW EVERY SHOW WITH SHONDA RHIMES. >> I THINK YOU MEAN RHONDA

RHIMES. >> I THINK YOU MEAN RHONDA RHIMES.

>> I THINK YOU MEAN RHONDA RHIMES. >> I THINK YOU MEAN BUSTA RIMES.

RHIMES. >> I THINK YOU MEAN BUSTA RIMES. >> A PORN STAR IN AUSTRALIA

>> I THINK YOU MEAN BUSTA RIMES. >> A PORN STAR IN AUSTRALIA REVEALED WHILE RECENTLY FILMING

>> A PORN STAR IN AUSTRALIA REVEALED WHILE RECENTLY FILMING A NEW MOVIE, HE BROKE HIS PENIS

REVEALED WHILE RECENTLY FILMING A NEW MOVIE, HE BROKE HIS PENIS -- IT'S REALLY SAD, MA'AM.

A NEW MOVIE, HE BROKE HIS PENIS -- IT'S REALLY SAD, MA'AM. HE BROKE HIS PENIS AND SAID IT

-- IT'S REALLY SAD, MA'AM. HE BROKE HIS PENIS AND SAID IT WENT COMPLETELY BLACK, WHICH YOU

HE BROKE HIS PENIS AND SAID IT WENT COMPLETELY BLACK, WHICH YOU KNOW IT MEANS IT'S NEVER GOING

WENT COMPLETELY BLACK, WHICH YOU KNOW IT MEANS IT'S NEVER GOING BACK.

KNOW IT MEANS IT'S NEVER GOING BACK. THE MAN HAS ADJUSTED TO HIS NEW

BACK. THE MAN HAS ADJUSTED TO HIS NEW BLACK PENIS BY FILMING ALL HIS

THE MAN HAS ADJUSTED TO HIS NEW BLACK PENIS BY FILMING ALL HIS SEX SCENES IN TIMBER LANDS.

BLACK PENIS BY FILMING ALL HIS SEX SCENES IN TIMBER LANDS. IT'S REALLY SAD, MAN.

SEX SCENES IN TIMBER LANDS. IT'S REALLY SAD, MAN. >> A NEW TREND AMONG YOUNGER

IT'S REALLY SAD, MAN. >> A NEW TREND AMONG YOUNGER WORKERS IS BARE MONEY MAXIMUM

>> A NEW TREND AMONG YOUNGER WORKERS IS BARE MONEY MAXIMUM MONDAY, IN WHICH THEY DO AS

WORKERS IS BARE MONEY MAXIMUM MONDAY, IN WHICH THEY DO AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE AT THE

MONDAY, IN WHICH THEY DO AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE AT THE BEGINNING OF THE WORK WEEK,

LITTLE AS POSSIBLE AT THE BEGINNING OF THE WORK WEEK, WHILE A NEW TREND AMONG VETERANS

BEGINNING OF THE WORK WEEK, WHILE A NEW TREND AMONG VETERANS IS REALIZING THEIR SACRIFICE

WHILE A NEW TREND AMONG VETERANS IS REALIZING THEIR SACRIFICE MEANT NOTHING.

IS REALIZING THEIR SACRIFICE MEANT NOTHING. >> PEOPLE ARE REALIZING A CLAM

MEANT NOTHING. >> PEOPLE ARE REALIZING A CLAM THAT WAS BORN THE SAME YEAR AS

>> PEOPLE ARE REALIZING A CLAM THAT WAS BORN THE SAME YEAR AS ABRAHAM LINCOLN.

THAT WAS BORN THE SAME YEAR AS ABRAHAM LINCOLN. THE CLAM CREDITS ITS LONGEVITY

ABRAHAM LINCOLN. THE CLAM CREDITS ITS LONGEVITY TO STAYING AWAY FROM THE

THE CLAM CREDITS ITS LONGEVITY TO STAYING AWAY FROM THE THEATER.

TO STAYING AWAY FROM THE THEATER. >> SOME OWNERS OF McDONALD'S

THEATER. >> SOME OWNERS OF McDONALD'S FRANCHISES ARE CONCERNED ABOUT A

>> SOME OWNERS OF McDONALD'S FRANCHISES ARE CONCERNED ABOUT A CAMPAIGN PARTNERSHIP WITH CARDI

FRANCHISES ARE CONCERNED ABOUT A CAMPAIGN PARTNERSHIP WITH CARDI B.

CAMPAIGN PARTNERSHIP WITH CARDI B. ESPECIALLY THE ADD WHERE THEY

B. ESPECIALLY THE ADD WHERE THEY CLAIM THEIR BURGERS HAVE A WET

ESPECIALLY THE ADD WHERE THEY CLAIM THEIR BURGERS HAVE A WET ASS PATTY.

CLAIM THEIR BURGERS HAVE A WET ASS PATTY. >> WELL, USUALLY THIS DOESN'T GO

ASS PATTY. >> WELL, USUALLY THIS DOESN'T GO WELL FOR ME, BUT SINCE IT'S HER

>> WELL, USUALLY THIS DOESN'T GO WELL FOR ME, BUT SINCE IT'S HER BIRTHDAY IN THREE DAYS, WE

WELL FOR ME, BUT SINCE IT'S HER BIRTHDAY IN THREE DAYS, WE DECIDED TO LET HER DO IT.

BIRTHDAY IN THREE DAYS, WE DECIDED TO LET HER DO IT. HERE IS SARAH SHERMAN WITH THE

DECIDED TO LET HER DO IT. HERE IS SARAH SHERMAN WITH THE SARAH NEWS.

HERE IS SARAH SHERMAN WITH THE SARAH NEWS. >> THANKS, COLIN.

SARAH NEWS. >> THANKS, COLIN. I PROMISE YOU WON'T REGRET IT.

>> THANKS, COLIN. I PROMISE YOU WON'T REGRET IT. >> I'M SURE NOT.

I PROMISE YOU WON'T REGRET IT. >> I'M SURE NOT. >> IN SARAH NEWS, THIS WEEK, I'M

>> I'M SURE NOT. >> IN SARAH NEWS, THIS WEEK, I'M FINALLY TURNING 30, OR AS COLIN

>> IN SARAH NEWS, THIS WEEK, I'M FINALLY TURNING 30, OR AS COLIN CALLS IT, 15 YEARS TOO OLD.

FINALLY TURNING 30, OR AS COLIN CALLS IT, 15 YEARS TOO OLD. >> COME ON.

CALLS IT, 15 YEARS TOO OLD. >> COME ON. COME ON.

>> COME ON. COME ON. NO.

COME ON. NO. >> WHAT?

NO. >> WHAT? WHEN I INVITED YOU TO MY

>> WHAT? WHEN I INVITED YOU TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY, YOU RSVP'd, I'M

WHEN I INVITED YOU TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY, YOU RSVP'd, I'M NOT GOING TO BE THERE UNLESS

BIRTHDAY PARTY, YOU RSVP'd, I'M NOT GOING TO BE THERE UNLESS IT'S A QUINCEANERA.

NOT GOING TO BE THERE UNLESS IT'S A QUINCEANERA. >> I DON'T GO TO QUINCEANERAS.

IT'S A QUINCEANERA. >> I DON'T GO TO QUINCEANERAS. >> OH, REALLY?

>> I DON'T GO TO QUINCEANERAS. >> OH, REALLY? THIS JUST IN.

>> OH, REALLY? THIS JUST IN. COLIN JOST REFUSES TO CELEBRATE

THIS JUST IN. COLIN JOST REFUSES TO CELEBRATE HISPANIC CULTURE.

COLIN JOST REFUSES TO CELEBRATE HISPANIC CULTURE. IN SCIENCE NEWS, NASA ENGINEERS

HISPANIC CULTURE. IN SCIENCE NEWS, NASA ENGINEERS PREPARING FOR A TRIP TO MARS

IN SCIENCE NEWS, NASA ENGINEERS PREPARING FOR A TRIP TO MARS RECENTLY SENT A TEAM OF

PREPARING FOR A TRIP TO MARS RECENTLY SENT A TEAM OF RESEARCHERS TO THE DRIEST PLACE

RECENTLY SENT A TEAM OF RESEARCHERS TO THE DRIEST PLACE ON EARTH.

RESEARCHERS TO THE DRIEST PLACE ON EARTH. SAID MY BOYFRIEND, HEY, GET OUT

ON EARTH. SAID MY BOYFRIEND, HEY, GET OUT OF MY GIRLFRIEND'S UNDERWEAR.

SAID MY BOYFRIEND, HEY, GET OUT OF MY GIRLFRIEND'S UNDERWEAR. GOOD LUCK DOWN THERE, BOYS.

OF MY GIRLFRIEND'S UNDERWEAR. GOOD LUCK DOWN THERE, BOYS. WE SALUTE YOU.

GOOD LUCK DOWN THERE, BOYS. WE SALUTE YOU. >> ALL RIGHT.

WE SALUTE YOU. >> ALL RIGHT. DO YOU HAVE ANY REAL NEWS,

>> ALL RIGHT. DO YOU HAVE ANY REAL NEWS, SARAH?

DO YOU HAVE ANY REAL NEWS, SARAH? >> OF COURSE.

SARAH? >> OF COURSE. THE U.S. IS FACING A THREAT FROM

>> OF COURSE. THE U.S. IS FACING A THREAT FROM A HIGHLY INTELLIGENT BREED OF

THE U.S. IS FACING A THREAT FROM A HIGHLY INTELLIGENT BREED OF PIG DUBBED THE SUPER PIG, WHICH

A HIGHLY INTELLIGENT BREED OF PIG DUBBED THE SUPER PIG, WHICH IS FUNNY BECAUSE SUPER PIG IS

PIG DUBBED THE SUPER PIG, WHICH IS FUNNY BECAUSE SUPER PIG IS ALSO WHAT COLIN WRITES ON MY

IS FUNNY BECAUSE SUPER PIG IS ALSO WHAT COLIN WRITES ON MY DRESSING ROOM MIRROR ANY TIME HE

ALSO WHAT COLIN WRITES ON MY DRESSING ROOM MIRROR ANY TIME HE CATCHES ME EATING WITHOUT HIS

DRESSING ROOM MIRROR ANY TIME HE CATCHES ME EATING WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION.

CATCHES ME EATING WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION. >> I DON'T GIVE YOU PERMISSION

PERMISSION. >> I DON'T GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO EAT.

>> I DON'T GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO EAT. >> I KNOW.

TO EAT. >> I KNOW. ME AND ALL THE OTHER GIRLS ARE

>> I KNOW. ME AND ALL THE OTHER GIRLS ARE STARVING, COLIN.

ME AND ALL THE OTHER GIRLS ARE STARVING, COLIN. CAN'T YOU HEAR MY STOMACH

STARVING, COLIN. CAN'T YOU HEAR MY STOMACH GURGLING?

CAN'T YOU HEAR MY STOMACH GURGLING? >> YES, I CAN.

GURGLING? >> YES, I CAN. DO YOU HAVE LIKE A STOMACH ISSUE

>> YES, I CAN. DO YOU HAVE LIKE A STOMACH ISSUE OR SOMETHING?

DO YOU HAVE LIKE A STOMACH ISSUE OR SOMETHING? >> NO.

OR SOMETHING? >> NO. I'M JUST JEWISH, COLIN, WHICH

>> NO. I'M JUST JEWISH, COLIN, WHICH ISN'T A DISEASE, DESPITE WHAT

I'M JUST JEWISH, COLIN, WHICH ISN'T A DISEASE, DESPITE WHAT YOU WROTE IN YOUR BOOK.

ISN'T A DISEASE, DESPITE WHAT YOU WROTE IN YOUR BOOK. >> THAT'S CHAPTER ONE?

YOU WROTE IN YOUR BOOK. >> THAT'S CHAPTER ONE? COME ON.

>> THAT'S CHAPTER ONE? COME ON. >> IN OTHER NEWS, JUST THREE

COME ON. >> IN OTHER NEWS, JUST THREE WEEKS AFTER A CHEMICAL TRAIN

>> IN OTHER NEWS, JUST THREE WEEKS AFTER A CHEMICAL TRAIN DERAILMENT, OFFICIALS NOW SAY

WEEKS AFTER A CHEMICAL TRAIN DERAILMENT, OFFICIALS NOW SAY THE WATER IN EAST PALESTINE IS

DERAILMENT, OFFICIALS NOW SAY THE WATER IN EAST PALESTINE IS SAFE TO DRINK.

THE WATER IN EAST PALESTINE IS SAFE TO DRINK. YEAH, ABOUT AS SAFE AS ANY

SAFE TO DRINK. YEAH, ABOUT AS SAFE AS ANY COCKTAIL COLIN GETS ME AT AN

YEAH, ABOUT AS SAFE AS ANY COCKTAIL COLIN GETS ME AT AN AFTERPARTY.

COCKTAIL COLIN GETS ME AT AN AFTERPARTY. EVERY TIME I COME BACK FROM THE

AFTERPARTY. EVERY TIME I COME BACK FROM THE BATHROOM, MY DRINK IS FIZZING

EVERY TIME I COME BACK FROM THE BATHROOM, MY DRINK IS FIZZING LIKE A SCIENCE FAIR VOLCANO.

BATHROOM, MY DRINK IS FIZZING LIKE A SCIENCE FAIR VOLCANO. >> MY FAMILY WATCHES THIS SHOW.

LIKE A SCIENCE FAIR VOLCANO. >> MY FAMILY WATCHES THIS SHOW. >> COLIN, SERIOUSLY, STOP TRYING

>> MY FAMILY WATCHES THIS SHOW. >> COLIN, SERIOUSLY, STOP TRYING TO LIFT UP THE BOTTOM OF MY PANT

>> COLIN, SERIOUSLY, STOP TRYING TO LIFT UP THE BOTTOM OF MY PANT LEG WITH YOUR BARE FEET.

TO LIFT UP THE BOTTOM OF MY PANT LEG WITH YOUR BARE FEET. >> I'M WEARING SHOES.

LEG WITH YOUR BARE FEET. >> I'M WEARING SHOES. >> SHOES DON'T HAVE TOENAILS,

>> I'M WEARING SHOES. >> SHOES DON'T HAVE TOENAILS, COLIN.

>> SHOES DON'T HAVE TOENAILS, COLIN. IN OTHER NEWS, I JUST FOUND OUT

COLIN. IN OTHER NEWS, I JUST FOUND OUT PEACOCK IS STREAMING EVERY

IN OTHER NEWS, I JUST FOUND OUT PEACOCK IS STREAMING EVERY EPISODE OF COLUMBO FEATURING

PEACOCK IS STREAMING EVERY EPISODE OF COLUMBO FEATURING GOD'S GIFT TO WOMEN, PETER

EPISODE OF COLUMBO FEATURING GOD'S GIFT TO WOMEN, PETER FAULK.

GOD'S GIFT TO WOMEN, PETER FAULK. OH, MY GOD, AN OLD GUY WITH A

FAULK. OH, MY GOD, AN OLD GUY WITH A LOOSE EYEBALL AND RESTING CIGAR

OH, MY GOD, AN OLD GUY WITH A LOOSE EYEBALL AND RESTING CIGAR FACE.

LOOSE EYEBALL AND RESTING CIGAR FACE. MAYBE HE CAN SOLVE THE MYSTERY

FACE. MAYBE HE CAN SOLVE THE MYSTERY OF MY SOPPING WET CHAIR.

MAYBE HE CAN SOLVE THE MYSTERY OF MY SOPPING WET CHAIR. GET TO THE HIGH GROUNDS, THE

OF MY SOPPING WET CHAIR. GET TO THE HIGH GROUNDS, THE LEVY IS BROKE AND THE CITY IS

GET TO THE HIGH GROUNDS, THE LEVY IS BROKE AND THE CITY IS FLOODED.

LEVY IS BROKE AND THE CITY IS FLOODED. >> ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING.

FLOODED. >> ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING. WELL, SARAH, IT IS YOUR

>> ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING. WELL, SARAH, IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY, SO WE'VE DECIDED TO

WELL, SARAH, IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY, SO WE'VE DECIDED TO GET YOU A VERY SARAH-STYLE

BIRTHDAY, SO WE'VE DECIDED TO GET YOU A VERY SARAH-STYLE BIRTHDAY CAKE.

GET YOU A VERY SARAH-STYLE BIRTHDAY CAKE. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SARAH.

BIRTHDAY CAKE. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SARAH. >> OH, LOOK.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SARAH. >> OH, LOOK. THANKS, COLIN.

>> OH, LOOK. THANKS, COLIN. AND BY THE WAY, THANK YOU SO

THANKS, COLIN. AND BY THE WAY, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE CARD YOU MADE ME,

AND BY THE WAY, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE CARD YOU MADE ME, COLIN.

MUCH FOR THE CARD YOU MADE ME, COLIN. >> OH, I DON'T REMEMBER WRITING

COLIN. >> OH, I DON'T REMEMBER WRITING A CARD.

>> OH, I DON'T REMEMBER WRITING A CARD. >> GO AHEAD.

A CARD. >> GO AHEAD. READ YOUR BIRTHDAY MESSAGE TO ME

>> GO AHEAD. READ YOUR BIRTHDAY MESSAGE TO ME THAT YOU WROTE.

READ YOUR BIRTHDAY MESSAGE TO ME THAT YOU WROTE. >> SARAH, TOO BAD YOU CAN'T EAT

THAT YOU WROTE. >> SARAH, TOO BAD YOU CAN'T EAT THIS CAKE SINCE YOU FAILED WEIGH

>> SARAH, TOO BAD YOU CAN'T EAT THIS CAKE SINCE YOU FAILED WEIGH IN.

THIS CAKE SINCE YOU FAILED WEIGH IN. SARAH ERMAN, EVERYONE.

IN. SARAH ERMAN, EVERYONE. FOR "WEEKEND UPDATE," I'M COLIN

SARAH ERMAN, EVERYONE. FOR "WEEKEND UPDATE," I'M COLIN JOST.

FOR "WEEKEND UPDATE," I'M COLIN JOST. >> I'M MICHAEL CHE, GOOD NIGHT!

>>> THANKS FOR MAKING THE TRIP, KIDS. >> WELL, WHEN YOU SAID IT WAS AN

KIDS. >> WELL, WHEN YOU SAID IT WAS AN EMERGENCY, WE FLEW IN RIGHT

>> WELL, WHEN YOU SAID IT WAS AN EMERGENCY, WE FLEW IN RIGHT AWAY.

EMERGENCY, WE FLEW IN RIGHT AWAY. >> YOU'RE KIND OF FREAKING US

AWAY. >> YOU'RE KIND OF FREAKING US OUT.

>> YOU'RE KIND OF FREAKING US OUT. ARE YOU GUYS OKAY?

OUT. ARE YOU GUYS OKAY? >> OH, WE ARE BETTER THAN OKAY.

ARE YOU GUYS OKAY? >> OH, WE ARE BETTER THAN OKAY. >> TRUTH IS, WE HAD A HARD TIME

>> OH, WE ARE BETTER THAN OKAY. >> TRUTH IS, WE HAD A HARD TIME FIGURING OUT HOW TO BREAK THE

>> TRUTH IS, WE HAD A HARD TIME FIGURING OUT HOW TO BREAK THE NEWS.

FIGURING OUT HOW TO BREAK THE NEWS. >> THAT'S WHAT THE SONG IS FOR.

NEWS. >> THAT'S WHAT THE SONG IS FOR. >> THE SONG?

>> THAT'S WHAT THE SONG IS FOR. >> THE SONG? >> I'M SURE YOU ALL HAVE A LOT

>> THE SONG? >> I'M SURE YOU ALL HAVE A LOT OF QUESTIONS, BUT DON'T WORRY.

>> I'M SURE YOU ALL HAVE A LOT OF QUESTIONS, BUT DON'T WORRY. THE SONG WILL EXPLAIN

OF QUESTIONS, BUT DON'T WORRY. THE SONG WILL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING.

THE SONG WILL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING. ♪ WHEN I THINK ABOUT LOVE, I'M

EVERYTHING. ♪ WHEN I THINK ABOUT LOVE, I'M SO GRATEFUL FOR THE TIMES WE'VE

♪ WHEN I THINK ABOUT LOVE, I'M SO GRATEFUL FOR THE TIMES WE'VE HAD ♪

SO GRATEFUL FOR THE TIMES WE'VE HAD ♪ ♪ A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, OUR

HAD ♪ ♪ A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, OUR WONDERFUL CHILDREN, A THOUSAND

♪ A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, OUR WONDERFUL CHILDREN, A THOUSAND MEMORIES GOOD AND BAD ♪

WONDERFUL CHILDREN, A THOUSAND MEMORIES GOOD AND BAD ♪ ♪ BUT WE HAVE BEEN DRIFTING

MEMORIES GOOD AND BAD ♪ ♪ BUT WE HAVE BEEN DRIFTING APART FROM ONE ANOTHER, EVEN

♪ BUT WE HAVE BEEN DRIFTING APART FROM ONE ANOTHER, EVEN THOUGH WE STILL LOVE EACH

APART FROM ONE ANOTHER, EVEN THOUGH WE STILL LOVE EACH OTHER ♪

THOUGH WE STILL LOVE EACH OTHER ♪ ♪ AND NOW SHE'S GIVING OUR BED

OTHER ♪ ♪ AND NOW SHE'S GIVING OUR BED TO ANOTHER, BUT I'M COOL WITH

♪ AND NOW SHE'S GIVING OUR BED TO ANOTHER, BUT I'M COOL WITH IT, AND I WATCH, I WATCH FROM

TO ANOTHER, BUT I'M COOL WITH IT, AND I WATCH, I WATCH FROM THE CORNER ♪

IT, AND I WATCH, I WATCH FROM THE CORNER ♪ >> WAIT, MOM, YOU'RE CHEATING ON

THE CORNER ♪ >> WAIT, MOM, YOU'RE CHEATING ON DAD?

>> WAIT, MOM, YOU'RE CHEATING ON DAD? >> GOD, NO.

DAD? >> GOD, NO. DIDN'T YOU HEAR THE PART WHERE

>> GOD, NO. DIDN'T YOU HEAR THE PART WHERE HE SAID HE'S COOL WITH IT?

DIDN'T YOU HEAR THE PART WHERE HE SAID HE'S COOL WITH IT? >> I BELIEVE MY EXACT WORDS WERE

HE SAID HE'S COOL WITH IT? >> I BELIEVE MY EXACT WORDS WERE I'M COOL WITH IT AND I WATCH.

>> I BELIEVE MY EXACT WORDS WERE I'M COOL WITH IT AND I WATCH. ♪ I WATCH FROM THE CORNER ♪

I'M COOL WITH IT AND I WATCH. ♪ I WATCH FROM THE CORNER ♪ >> WELL, WHO'S THE OTHER MAN?

♪ I WATCH FROM THE CORNER ♪ >> WELL, WHO'S THE OTHER MAN? >> I DON'T KNOW, BUT I WOULD

>> WELL, WHO'S THE OTHER MAN? >> I DON'T KNOW, BUT I WOULD GUESS IT'S THE GUY SITTING

>> I DON'T KNOW, BUT I WOULD GUESS IT'S THE GUY SITTING IN DAD'S CHAIR PLAYING STREETS

GUESS IT'S THE GUY SITTING IN DAD'S CHAIR PLAYING STREETS OF RAGE TWO.

IN DAD'S CHAIR PLAYING STREETS OF RAGE TWO. >> WHAT UP?

OF RAGE TWO. >> WHAT UP? >> I'M SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW.

>> WHAT UP? >> I'M SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW. >> WELL, I AM SO GLAD YOU SAID

>> I'M SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW. >> WELL, I AM SO GLAD YOU SAID THAT.

>> WELL, I AM SO GLAD YOU SAID THAT. >> BECAUSE NEXT PART OF THE SONI

THAT. >> BECAUSE NEXT PART OF THE SONI ♪ HIS NAME IS SUCRE, AND HE'S A

>> BECAUSE NEXT PART OF THE SONI ♪ HIS NAME IS SUCRE, AND HE'S A FELON, HE'S EXPLORED MY WHOLE

♪ HIS NAME IS SUCRE, AND HE'S A FELON, HE'S EXPLORED MY WHOLE BODY LIKE MAGELLAN ♪

FELON, HE'S EXPLORED MY WHOLE BODY LIKE MAGELLAN ♪ ♪ HE PLAYS STREETS OF RAGE TWO

BODY LIKE MAGELLAN ♪ ♪ HE PLAYS STREETS OF RAGE TWO AND THEN HE PLEASURES ME IN

♪ HE PLAYS STREETS OF RAGE TWO AND THEN HE PLEASURES ME IN BED ♪

AND THEN HE PLEASURES ME IN BED ♪ ♪ AND I'M COOL WITH IT AND I

BED ♪ ♪ AND I'M COOL WITH IT AND I WATCH, I WATCH FROM THE CORNER ♪

♪ AND I'M COOL WITH IT AND I WATCH, I WATCH FROM THE CORNER ♪ >> I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE

WATCH, I WATCH FROM THE CORNER ♪ >> I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE SO PUMPED ABOUT WATCHING FROM

>> I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE SO PUMPED ABOUT WATCHING FROM THE CORNER.

SO PUMPED ABOUT WATCHING FROM THE CORNER. >> AND I'M SORRY.

THE CORNER. >> AND I'M SORRY. HIS NAME IS SUCRE?

>> AND I'M SORRY. HIS NAME IS SUCRE? >> YEAH, SUCRE WOLODARSKY.

HIS NAME IS SUCRE? >> YEAH, SUCRE WOLODARSKY. >> SO, WHAT, YOU'RE IN A

>> YEAH, SUCRE WOLODARSKY. >> SO, WHAT, YOU'RE IN A THROUPLE NOW WITH A MAN NAMED

>> SO, WHAT, YOU'RE IN A THROUPLE NOW WITH A MAN NAMED SUCRE WOLODARSKY?

THROUPLE NOW WITH A MAN NAMED SUCRE WOLODARSKY? >> DAMN, YOU GUYS ARE BEING MAD

SUCRE WOLODARSKY? >> DAMN, YOU GUYS ARE BEING MAD ANNOYING RIGHT NOW.

>> DAMN, YOU GUYS ARE BEING MAD ANNOYING RIGHT NOW. HOW MANY TIMES DO YOUR PARENTS

ANNOYING RIGHT NOW. HOW MANY TIMES DO YOUR PARENTS HAVE TO SAY THIS?

HOW MANY TIMES DO YOUR PARENTS HAVE TO SAY THIS? THE NEXT PART OF THE SONG WILL

HAVE TO SAY THIS? THE NEXT PART OF THE SONG WILL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING.

THE NEXT PART OF THE SONG WILL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING. >> THANK YOU, SUCRE.

EXPLAIN EVERYTHING. >> THANK YOU, SUCRE. >> AND BY THE WAY, I'M NOT HAPPY

>> THANK YOU, SUCRE. >> AND BY THE WAY, I'M NOT HAPPY I HAD TO STOP JUST NOW.

>> AND BY THE WAY, I'M NOT HAPPY I HAD TO STOP JUST NOW. YOU DISTRACTED ME SO BADLY THAT

I HAD TO STOP JUST NOW. YOU DISTRACTED ME SO BADLY THAT A GUY WITH A MOHAWK PUNCHED ME

YOU DISTRACTED ME SO BADLY THAT A GUY WITH A MOHAWK PUNCHED ME AND MY HEALTH WENT DOWN.

A GUY WITH A MOHAWK PUNCHED ME AND MY HEALTH WENT DOWN. >> I THINK YOU GUYS SHOULD

AND MY HEALTH WENT DOWN. >> I THINK YOU GUYS SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO SUCRE ABOUT THAT.

>> I THINK YOU GUYS SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO SUCRE ABOUT THAT. >> I'M NOT APOLOGIZING TO SUCRE.

APOLOGIZE TO SUCRE ABOUT THAT. >> I'M NOT APOLOGIZING TO SUCRE. YOU GUYS NEED TO TELL US WHAT

>> I'M NOT APOLOGIZING TO SUCRE. YOU GUYS NEED TO TELL US WHAT HAPPENED.

YOU GUYS NEED TO TELL US WHAT HAPPENED. >> WE'RE TRYING TO, BUT YOU GUYS

HAPPENED. >> WE'RE TRYING TO, BUT YOU GUYS KEEP INTERRUPTING.

>> WE'RE TRYING TO, BUT YOU GUYS KEEP INTERRUPTING. >> THE NEXT PART OF THE SONG

KEEP INTERRUPTING. >> THE NEXT PART OF THE SONG REALLY SPELLS THINGS OUT.

>> THE NEXT PART OF THE SONG REALLY SPELLS THINGS OUT. MY NAME'S SPELLED S-U-C-R-E

REALLY SPELLS THINGS OUT. MY NAME'S SPELLED S-U-C-R-E W-O-L-O-D-ARSKY,

MY NAME'S SPELLED S-U-C-R-E W-O-L-O-D-ARSKY, >> THE SPELLING OF YOUR NAME WAS

W-O-L-O-D-ARSKY, >> THE SPELLING OF YOUR NAME WAS NOT THE PART WE WERE CONFUSED

>> THE SPELLING OF YOUR NAME WAS NOT THE PART WE WERE CONFUSED ABOUT.

NOT THE PART WE WERE CONFUSED ABOUT. >> CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?

ABOUT. >> CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? >> YES, SUCRE.

>> CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? >> YES, SUCRE. >> HOW ARE THESE THREE YOUR

>> YES, SUCRE. >> HOW ARE THESE THREE YOUR KIDS?

>> HOW ARE THESE THREE YOUR KIDS? >> WELL, I WAS ON TOP FOR HIM.

KIDS? >> WELL, I WAS ON TOP FOR HIM. >> YEAH, AND I WAS ON TOP FOR

>> WELL, I WAS ON TOP FOR HIM. >> YEAH, AND I WAS ON TOP FOR HER.

>> YEAH, AND I WAS ON TOP FOR HER. >> THEN WE DID IT FROM THE SIDE

HER. >> THEN WE DID IT FROM THE SIDE ONE TIME, AND HE CAME OUT.

>> THEN WE DID IT FROM THE SIDE ONE TIME, AND HE CAME OUT. >> THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS.

ONE TIME, AND HE CAME OUT. >> THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. >> LOOK, YOU GUYS ARE ADULTS.

>> THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. >> LOOK, YOU GUYS ARE ADULTS. YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT.

>> LOOK, YOU GUYS ARE ADULTS. YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT. I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU

YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT. I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DIDN'T TOUCH THE GRAND KIDS'

I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DIDN'T TOUCH THE GRAND KIDS' COLLEGE FUND.

DIDN'T TOUCH THE GRAND KIDS' COLLEGE FUND. >> OF COURSE.

COLLEGE FUND. >> OF COURSE. WE GO OVER THAT IN THIS NEXT

>> OF COURSE. WE GO OVER THAT IN THIS NEXT PART.

WE GO OVER THAT IN THIS NEXT PART. ♪

PART. ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ THE MONEY'S ALL GONE NOW ♪

♪ ♪ THE MONEY'S ALL GONE NOW ♪ >> YOU GAVE ALL THE COLLEGE

♪ THE MONEY'S ALL GONE NOW ♪ >> YOU GAVE ALL THE COLLEGE MONEY TO SUCRE?

>> YOU GAVE ALL THE COLLEGE MONEY TO SUCRE? >> SUCRE THIS, SUCRE THAT.

MONEY TO SUCRE? >> SUCRE THIS, SUCRE THAT. WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE GUITAR

>> SUCRE THIS, SUCRE THAT. WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE GUITAR SOLO?

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE GUITAR SOLO? >> THIS IS A NIGHTMARE.

SOLO? >> THIS IS A NIGHTMARE. >> GUYS, I KNOW THIS IS A LOT TO

>> THIS IS A NIGHTMARE. >> GUYS, I KNOW THIS IS A LOT TO TAKE IN, BUT I HAVE SOME GOOD

>> GUYS, I KNOW THIS IS A LOT TO TAKE IN, BUT I HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS.

TAKE IN, BUT I HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS. I JUST BEAT STREETS OF RAGE TWO.

NEWS. I JUST BEAT STREETS OF RAGE TWO. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

I JUST BEAT STREETS OF RAGE TWO. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. >> SUCRE.

THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. >> SUCRE. >> ALSO, I'M NOT 100% SURE, BUT

>> SUCRE. >> ALSO, I'M NOT 100% SURE, BUT I'M ALMOST POSITIVE I'M

>> ALSO, I'M NOT 100% SURE, BUT I'M ALMOST POSITIVE I'M PREGNANT.

I'M ALMOST POSITIVE I'M PREGNANT. >> SUCRE!

PREGNANT. >> SUCRE! ♪ AND I WATCHED FROM THE

>> SUCRE! ♪ AND I WATCHED FROM THE CORNER ♪

♪ AND I WATCHED FROM THE CORNER ♪ >>> I CAN'T BELIEVE WE JUST DID

CORNER ♪ >>> I CAN'T BELIEVE WE JUST DID THAT.

>>> I CAN'T BELIEVE WE JUST DID THAT. EVERY TIME YOU'RE IN TOWN, YOU

THAT. EVERY TIME YOU'RE IN TOWN, YOU SUCK ME BACK IN.

EVERY TIME YOU'RE IN TOWN, YOU SUCK ME BACK IN. >> IT'S BECAUSE WE WERE MEANT

SUCK ME BACK IN. >> IT'S BECAUSE WE WERE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER, BABY.

>> IT'S BECAUSE WE WERE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER, BABY. >> GOD, YOU KNOW, I BAILED ON A

FOR EACH OTHER, BABY. >> GOD, YOU KNOW, I BAILED ON A DATE TONIGHT BECAUSE OF YOU?

>> GOD, YOU KNOW, I BAILED ON A DATE TONIGHT BECAUSE OF YOU? >> OH, YOUR BAD.

DATE TONIGHT BECAUSE OF YOU? >> OH, YOUR BAD. NOW, COME ON.

>> OH, YOUR BAD. NOW, COME ON. SHOULD I MAKE SOME PANCAKES?

NOW, COME ON. SHOULD I MAKE SOME PANCAKES? DADDY'S SPECIAL RECIPE.

SHOULD I MAKE SOME PANCAKES? DADDY'S SPECIAL RECIPE. >> HEY.

DADDY'S SPECIAL RECIPE. >> HEY. >> OH, MY GOD!

>> HEY. >> OH, MY GOD! >> WHAT'S UP?

>> OH, MY GOD! >> WHAT'S UP? >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY

>> WHAT'S UP? >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE? >> WHO IS THAT?

HOUSE? >> WHO IS THAT? >> I'M GARRETT FROM HINGE.

>> WHO IS THAT? >> I'M GARRETT FROM HINGE. WE HAD PLANS FOR 7:00 AT

>> I'M GARRETT FROM HINGE. WE HAD PLANS FOR 7:00 AT BUCCACINOS.

WE HAD PLANS FOR 7:00 AT BUCCACINOS. >> WHAT?

BUCCACINOS. >> WHAT? KYRA, THIS IS THE GUY YOU BLEW

>> WHAT? KYRA, THIS IS THE GUY YOU BLEW OFF?

KYRA, THIS IS THE GUY YOU BLEW OFF? >> AFRAID SO.

OFF? >> AFRAID SO. NOW I'M HERE, AND YOU'RE IN BED

>> AFRAID SO. NOW I'M HERE, AND YOU'RE IN BED WITH LIKE A HEMSWORTH BROTHER I

NOW I'M HERE, AND YOU'RE IN BED WITH LIKE A HEMSWORTH BROTHER I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT?

WITH LIKE A HEMSWORTH BROTHER I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT? HOW DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES ME

DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT? HOW DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES ME FEEL?

HOW DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES ME FEEL? >> DUDE, YOU BROKE INTO MY

FEEL? >> DUDE, YOU BROKE INTO MY HOUSE.

>> DUDE, YOU BROKE INTO MY HOUSE. I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.

HOUSE. I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU. >> YEAH, YOU DO.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU. >> YEAH, YOU DO. I'M GARRETT, FROM HINGE.

>> YEAH, YOU DO. I'M GARRETT, FROM HINGE. AKA THE GUY WHO HAS BEEN

I'M GARRETT, FROM HINGE. AKA THE GUY WHO HAS BEEN WAITING FOR YOU AT BUCCACINO'S

AKA THE GUY WHO HAS BEEN WAITING FOR YOU AT BUCCACINO'S LIKE SOME KIND OF SUCKA.

WAITING FOR YOU AT BUCCACINO'S LIKE SOME KIND OF SUCKA. >> WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?

LIKE SOME KIND OF SUCKA. >> WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? LEAVE.

>> WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? LEAVE. >> GOD, THIS IS SO OVERWHELMING.

LEAVE. >> GOD, THIS IS SO OVERWHELMING. I'M GOING TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.

>> GOD, THIS IS SO OVERWHELMING. I'M GOING TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. AND WHEN I COME BACK, WE CAN

I'M GOING TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. AND WHEN I COME BACK, WE CAN FIGURE THIS ALL OUT, OKAY?

AND WHEN I COME BACK, WE CAN FIGURE THIS ALL OUT, OKAY? THIS ALL OUT, OKAY?

FIGURE THIS ALL OUT, OKAY? THIS ALL OUT, OKAY? >> THERE IS NOTHING TO FIGURE

THIS ALL OUT, OKAY? >> THERE IS NOTHING TO FIGURE OUT.

>> THERE IS NOTHING TO FIGURE OUT. WE GOT TO CALL THE COPS.

OUT. WE GOT TO CALL THE COPS. >> NO, NO, YOU CAN'T.

WE GOT TO CALL THE COPS. >> NO, NO, YOU CAN'T. I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.

>> NO, NO, YOU CAN'T. I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. I CAN'T EVEN LEAVE THE STATE

I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. I CAN'T EVEN LEAVE THE STATE BECAUSE OF MY PAROL.

I CAN'T EVEN LEAVE THE STATE BECAUSE OF MY PAROL. >> WAIT, WHAT PAROL?

BECAUSE OF MY PAROL. >> WAIT, WHAT PAROL? >> GARRETT, I KNOW YOUR FEELINGS

>> WAIT, WHAT PAROL? >> GARRETT, I KNOW YOUR FEELINGS ARE HURT, AND THAT'S HARD, BUT

>> GARRETT, I KNOW YOUR FEELINGS ARE HURT, AND THAT'S HARD, BUT NO MATTER WHAT, YOU CANNOT KILL

ARE HURT, AND THAT'S HARD, BUT NO MATTER WHAT, YOU CANNOT KILL THEM.

NO MATTER WHAT, YOU CANNOT KILL THEM. OKAY.

THEM. OKAY. I'M BACK

OKAY. I'M BACK I HAVE BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT

I'M BACK I HAVE BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT IT, AND I'M OPEN TO BEING A

I HAVE BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT IT, AND I'M OPEN TO BEING A THROUPLE.

IT, AND I'M OPEN TO BEING A THROUPLE. >> WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO THAT,

THROUPLE. >> WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO THAT, GARRETT.

>> WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO THAT, GARRETT. >> KYRA, YOU MADE ME LOOK LIKE

GARRETT. >> KYRA, YOU MADE ME LOOK LIKE AN ABSOLUTE SUCKA.

>> KYRA, YOU MADE ME LOOK LIKE AN ABSOLUTE SUCKA. I MEAN, I LEFT EARLY FROM WORK

AN ABSOLUTE SUCKA. I MEAN, I LEFT EARLY FROM WORK TO CHANGE.

I MEAN, I LEFT EARLY FROM WORK TO CHANGE. >> YOU CHANGED INTO THAT STEWIE

TO CHANGE. >> YOU CHANGED INTO THAT STEWIE GRIFFIN T-SHIRT?

>> YOU CHANGED INTO THAT STEWIE GRIFFIN T-SHIRT? >> CAN I GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE,

GRIFFIN T-SHIRT? >> CAN I GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE, KYRA, IF YOU'RE NOT EMOTIONALLY

>> CAN I GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE, KYRA, IF YOU'RE NOT EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE, MAYBE DON'T BE ON THE

KYRA, IF YOU'RE NOT EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE, MAYBE DON'T BE ON THE APPS, RIGHT?

AVAILABLE, MAYBE DON'T BE ON THE APPS, RIGHT? >> OH, MY GOD.

APPS, RIGHT? >> OH, MY GOD. >> ESPECIALLY HINGE, BECAUSE

>> OH, MY GOD. >> ESPECIALLY HINGE, BECAUSE HINGE IS THE APP THAT'S DESIGNED

>> ESPECIALLY HINGE, BECAUSE HINGE IS THE APP THAT'S DESIGNED TO BE DELETED, RIGHT?

HINGE IS THE APP THAT'S DESIGNED TO BE DELETED, RIGHT? >> WILL YOU STOP MAKING THE SAME

TO BE DELETED, RIGHT? >> WILL YOU STOP MAKING THE SAME POSE AS YOUR SHIRT.

>> WILL YOU STOP MAKING THE SAME POSE AS YOUR SHIRT. >> OH, KYRA, KYRA, KYRA.

POSE AS YOUR SHIRT. >> OH, KYRA, KYRA, KYRA. WANT A LITTLE FOOT RUB?

>> OH, KYRA, KYRA, KYRA. WANT A LITTLE FOOT RUB? >> NO.

WANT A LITTLE FOOT RUB? >> NO. DON'T RUB MY FOOT!

>> NO. DON'T RUB MY FOOT! >> HEY, IT'S JUST ME, GARRETT

DON'T RUB MY FOOT! >> HEY, IT'S JUST ME, GARRETT FROM HINGE.

>> HEY, IT'S JUST ME, GARRETT FROM HINGE. THE DATING APP FOR PEOPLE WHO

FROM HINGE. THE DATING APP FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE DATING APPS.

THE DATING APP FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE DATING APPS. >> DO YOU LIKE WORK FOR HINGE?

HATE DATING APPS. >> DO YOU LIKE WORK FOR HINGE? >> HEY, THIS LITTLE PIGGY LEFT

>> DO YOU LIKE WORK FOR HINGE? >> HEY, THIS LITTLE PIGGY LEFT ME AT BUCCACINOS.

>> HEY, THIS LITTLE PIGGY LEFT ME AT BUCCACINOS. >> STOP!

ME AT BUCCACINOS. >> STOP! >> OH, MY GOD.

>> STOP! >> OH, MY GOD. I NEED TO USE THE RESTROOM

>> OH, MY GOD. I NEED TO USE THE RESTROOM AGAIN, AND I DON'T MEAN TO MAKE

I NEED TO USE THE RESTROOM AGAIN, AND I DON'T MEAN TO MAKE THIS AWKWARD, PLUS COULD YOU

AGAIN, AND I DON'T MEAN TO MAKE THIS AWKWARD, PLUS COULD YOU PLEASE RAPID TEST?

THIS AWKWARD, PLUS COULD YOU PLEASE RAPID TEST? THE THERE'S A PLANDEMMIC GOING

PLEASE RAPID TEST? THE THERE'S A PLANDEMMIC GOING ON.

THE THERE'S A PLANDEMMIC GOING ON. >> DID HE SAY PLANDEMMIC?

ON. >> DID HE SAY PLANDEMMIC? >> GARRETT, I KNOW THIS IS HARD,

>> DID HE SAY PLANDEMMIC? >> GARRETT, I KNOW THIS IS HARD, BUT YOU CANNOT KILL THEM, EVEN

>> GARRETT, I KNOW THIS IS HARD, BUT YOU CANNOT KILL THEM, EVEN THOUGH IT WOULD BE SO EASY.

BUT YOU CANNOT KILL THEM, EVEN THOUGH IT WOULD BE SO EASY. OH, MAN, REALLY WISH I DIDN'T

THOUGH IT WOULD BE SO EASY. OH, MAN, REALLY WISH I DIDN'T BRING POISON HERE.

OH, MAN, REALLY WISH I DIDN'T BRING POISON HERE. GUYS!

BRING POISON HERE. GUYS! YOU KNOW WHAT?

GUYS! YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK I'M JUST GOING TO STAY

YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK I'M JUST GOING TO STAY THE NIGHT IF THAT'S COOL.

I THINK I'M JUST GOING TO STAY THE NIGHT IF THAT'S COOL. >> NO, GARRETT, GET YOUR PSYCHO

THE NIGHT IF THAT'S COOL. >> NO, GARRETT, GET YOUR PSYCHO PATH ASS OUT OF HERE NOW.

>> NO, GARRETT, GET YOUR PSYCHO PATH ASS OUT OF HERE NOW. >> DAMN IT, WOMAN!

PATH ASS OUT OF HERE NOW. >> DAMN IT, WOMAN! SORRY, THAT WAS MY STEWIE

>> DAMN IT, WOMAN! SORRY, THAT WAS MY STEWIE IMPRESSION.

SORRY, THAT WAS MY STEWIE IMPRESSION. >> NO, GARRETT, THAT WAS

IMPRESSION. >> NO, GARRETT, THAT WAS ACTUALLY AN AMAZING IMPRESSION.

>> NO, GARRETT, THAT WAS ACTUALLY AN AMAZING IMPRESSION. AND TO BE FAIR, KYRA, YOU DID

ACTUALLY AN AMAZING IMPRESSION. AND TO BE FAIR, KYRA, YOU DID MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE A SUCKA AT

AND TO BE FAIR, KYRA, YOU DID MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE A SUCKA AT BUCCACINOS.

MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE A SUCKA AT BUCCACINOS. SO YOU KNOW WHAT?

BUCCACINOS. SO YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE WE'RE IN THE WRONG TOO

SO YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE WE'RE IN THE WRONG TOO NOW.

MAYBE WE'RE IN THE WRONG TOO NOW. GET IN HERE WITH US.

NOW. GET IN HERE WITH US. >> WOW.

GET IN HERE WITH US. >> WOW. THANKS GUYS.

>> WOW. THANKS GUYS. THAT'S SO NICE.

THANKS GUYS. THAT'S SO NICE. OH.

THAT'S SO NICE. OH. >> OH, DAMN.

OH. >> OH, DAMN. I'M POSITIVE.

>> OH, DAMN. I'M POSITIVE. >> WAIT, YOU TOOK IT?

I'M POSITIVE. >> WAIT, YOU TOOK IT? >>> ONCE AGAIN, KELSEA

>> WAIT, YOU TOOK IT? >>> ONCE AGAIN, KELSEA BALLERINI!

>>> ONCE AGAIN, KELSEA BALLERINI! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

BALLERINI! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ♪

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ♪ ♪ WE MOVED TO A PLACE

♪ ♪ WE MOVED TO A PLACE WITH A VIEW OFF

♪ WE MOVED TO A PLACE WITH A VIEW OFF OF EIGHTH AVENUE

WITH A VIEW OFF OF EIGHTH AVENUE AFTER WE SAID I DO ♪

OF EIGHTH AVENUE AFTER WE SAID I DO ♪ ♪ AND WE WATCHED

AFTER WE SAID I DO ♪ ♪ AND WE WATCHED CARSF BAELORETTES

♪ AND WE WATCHED CARSF BAELORETTES TWO AM CIGARETTES AND

CARSF BAELORETTES TWO AM CIGARETTES AND TRAFFIC HEADED DOWNTOWN ♪

TWO AM CIGARETTES AND TRAFFIC HEADED DOWNTOWN ♪ ♪ AND THE INTERSTATE

TRAFFIC HEADED DOWNTOWN ♪ ♪ AND THE INTERSTATE WAS SO LOUD

♪ AND THE INTERSTATE WAS SO LOUD THERE WAS A LOT

WAS SO LOUD THERE WAS A LOT IT HAD TO DROWN OUT ♪

THERE WAS A LOT IT HAD TO DROWN OUT ♪ ♪ WE PLAYED THE PART

IT HAD TO DROWN OUT ♪ ♪ WE PLAYED THE PART FIVE NIGHTS

♪ WE PLAYED THE PART FIVE NIGHTS BUT WE WERE NEVER THERE

FIVE NIGHTS BUT WE WERE NEVER THERE ON THE WEEKENDS BABY ♪

BUT WE WERE NEVER THERE ON THE WEEKENDS BABY ♪ ♪ WE GOT ALONG REAL NICE

ON THE WEEKENDS BABY ♪ ♪ WE GOT ALONG REAL NICE BUT WHEN I LEFT TOWN

♪ WE GOT ALONG REAL NICE BUT WHEN I LEFT TOWN DID YOU HATE ME ♪

BUT WHEN I LEFT TOWN DID YOU HATE ME ♪ ♪ ONE DAY THE CURTAIN

DID YOU HATE ME ♪ ♪ ONE DAY THE CURTAIN STARTED COMING DOWN

♪ ONE DAY THE CURTAIN STARTED COMING DOWN YOU CHANGED THE SECOND

STARTED COMING DOWN YOU CHANGED THE SECOND WE WERE MOVING OUT ♪

YOU CHANGED THE SECOND WE WERE MOVING OUT ♪ ♪ I GUESS WRONG

WE WERE MOVING OUT ♪ ♪ I GUESS WRONG CAN LOOK ALRIGHT

♪ I GUESS WRONG CAN LOOK ALRIGHT WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING HOME

CAN LOOK ALRIGHT WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING HOME IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪

WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING HOME IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ ♪ I BOUGHT THE HOUSE

IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ ♪ I BOUGHT THE HOUSE WITH A FENCE

♪ I BOUGHT THE HOUSE WITH A FENCE ENOUGH ROOM FOR SOME KIDS

WITH A FENCE ENOUGH ROOM FOR SOME KIDS A BACKYARD FOR DIBS ♪

ENOUGH ROOM FOR SOME KIDS A BACKYARD FOR DIBS ♪ ♪ AND I THOUGHT THAT

A BACKYARD FOR DIBS ♪ ♪ AND I THOUGHT THAT WOULD MAKE IT ALL BETTER♪

♪ AND I THOUGHT THAT WOULD MAKE IT ALL BETTER♪ ♪ AND MAYBE FOREVER

WOULD MAKE IT ALL BETTER♪ ♪ AND MAYBE FOREVER WOULDN'T FEEL LIKE

♪ AND MAYBE FOREVER WOULDN'T FEEL LIKE THE WALLS CLOSING IN ♪

WOULDN'T FEEL LIKE THE WALLS CLOSING IN ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE HOW DOES THAT

THE WALLS CLOSING IN ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE HOW DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE

♪ 'CAUSE HOW DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT

EVEN MAKE SENSE NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT IT NEVER DID ♪

NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT IT NEVER DID ♪ ♪ WE PLAYED THE PART

IT NEVER DID ♪ ♪ WE PLAYED THE PART FIVE NIGHTS

♪ WE PLAYED THE PART FIVE NIGHTS BUT WE WERE NEVER THERE

FIVE NIGHTS BUT WE WERE NEVER THERE ON THE WEEKENDS BABY ♪

BUT WE WERE NEVER THERE ON THE WEEKENDS BABY ♪ ♪ WE GOT ALONG REAL NICE

ON THE WEEKENDS BABY ♪ ♪ WE GOT ALONG REAL NICE BUT WHEN I LEFT TOWN

♪ WE GOT ALONG REAL NICE BUT WHEN I LEFT TOWN DID YOU HATE ME ♪

BUT WHEN I LEFT TOWN DID YOU HATE ME ♪ ♪ ONE DAY THE CURTAIN

DID YOU HATE ME ♪ ♪ ONE DAY THE CURTAIN STARTED COMING DOWN

♪ ONE DAY THE CURTAIN STARTED COMING DOWN I CHANGED THE SECOND

STARTED COMING DOWN I CHANGED THE SECOND WE WERE MOVING OUT ♪

I CHANGED THE SECOND WE WERE MOVING OUT ♪ ♪ I GUESS WRONG

WE WERE MOVING OUT ♪ ♪ I GUESS WRONG CAN LOOK ALRIGHT

♪ I GUESS WRONG CAN LOOK ALRIGHT WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING HOME

CAN LOOK ALRIGHT WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING HOME IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪

WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING HOME IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE WE WERE

IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE WE WERE PLAYING HOME

♪ 'CAUSE WE WERE PLAYING HOME IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪

PLAYING HOME IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ ♪ IT HURTS PUTTING

IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ ♪ IT HURTS PUTTING STUFF IN A BOX

♪ IT HURTS PUTTING STUFF IN A BOX AND NOW WE DON'T TALK ♪

STUFF IN A BOX AND NOW WE DON'T TALK ♪ ♪ AND IT STINGS

AND NOW WE DON'T TALK ♪ ♪ AND IT STINGS ROLLING UP THE WELCOME MAT

♪ AND IT STINGS ROLLING UP THE WELCOME MAT KNOWING YOU GOT HALF ♪

ROLLING UP THE WELCOME MAT KNOWING YOU GOT HALF ♪ ♪ I KISSED

KNOWING YOU GOT HALF ♪ ♪ I KISSED SOMEONE NEW LAST NIGHT

♪ I KISSED SOMEONE NEW LAST NIGHT AND NOW I DON'T KNOW

SOMEONE NEW LAST NIGHT AND NOW I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'RE SLEEPING BABY ♪

AND NOW I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'RE SLEEPING BABY ♪ ♪ WE GOT ALONG REAL NICE

WHERE YOU'RE SLEEPING BABY ♪ ♪ WE GOT ALONG REAL NICE UNTIL I WANTED OUT

♪ WE GOT ALONG REAL NICE UNTIL I WANTED OUT NOW I KNOW YOU HATE ME ♪

UNTIL I WANTED OUT NOW I KNOW YOU HATE ME ♪ ♪ ONE DAY THE CURTAIN

NOW I KNOW YOU HATE ME ♪ ♪ ONE DAY THE CURTAIN STARTED COMING DOWN

♪ ONE DAY THE CURTAIN STARTED COMING DOWN WE CHANGED THE SECOND

STARTED COMING DOWN WE CHANGED THE SECOND WE WERE MOVING OUT ♪

WE CHANGED THE SECOND WE WERE MOVING OUT ♪ ♪ I GUESS WRONG

WE WERE MOVING OUT ♪ ♪ I GUESS WRONG CAN LOOK ALRIGHT

♪ I GUESS WRONG CAN LOOK ALRIGHT WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING HOME

CAN LOOK ALRIGHT WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING HOME IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪

WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING HOME IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE WE WERE

IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE WE WERE PLAYING HOME

♪ 'CAUSE WE WERE PLAYING HOME IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪

PLAYING HOME IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ ♪ I JUST BOUGHT

IN A PENTHOUSE BABY ♪ ♪ I JUST BOUGHT THAT HOUSE THAT WE SAW

♪ I JUST BOUGHT THAT HOUSE THAT WE SAW YOU SAID IT WAS WRONG

THAT HOUSE THAT WE SAW YOU SAID IT WAS WRONG BUT I WANTED IT ALL ALONG ♪

YOU SAID IT WAS WRONG BUT I WANTED IT ALL ALONG ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>>> WELCOME BACK TO "TOO HOT TO HANDLE," WHERE THE ACCENTS ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE, BUT THE

HANDLE," WHERE THE ACCENTS ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE, BUT THE PREMISE IS SIMPLE.

ALL OVER THE PLACE, BUT THE PREMISE IS SIMPLE. ABSTAIN FROM PHYSICAL INTIMACY,

PREMISE IS SIMPLE. ABSTAIN FROM PHYSICAL INTIMACY, AND YOU'LL WIN 200 Gs.

ABSTAIN FROM PHYSICAL INTIMACY, AND YOU'LL WIN 200 Gs. CAN YOU BELIEVE NETFLIX HAS MADE

AND YOU'LL WIN 200 Gs. CAN YOU BELIEVE NETFLIX HAS MADE FIVE SEASONS OF THIS?

CAN YOU BELIEVE NETFLIX HAS MADE FIVE SEASONS OF THIS? >> GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE.

FIVE SEASONS OF THIS? >> GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. >> HI, LANA.

>> GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. >> HI, LANA. >> I INTRODUCED THE GROUND RULES

>> HI, LANA. >> I INTRODUCED THE GROUND RULES OF THIS RETREAT JUST 24 HOURS

>> I INTRODUCED THE GROUND RULES OF THIS RETREAT JUST 24 HOURS AGO.

OF THIS RETREAT JUST 24 HOURS AGO. >> AND WE HAVE BEEN SO GOOD,

AGO. >> AND WE HAVE BEEN SO GOOD, LANA, ME AND IZZY HAVEN'T DONE

>> AND WE HAVE BEEN SO GOOD, LANA, ME AND IZZY HAVEN'T DONE NOTHING.

LANA, ME AND IZZY HAVEN'T DONE NOTHING. >> EVEN THOUGH DOM IS PROPER

NOTHING. >> EVEN THOUGH DOM IS PROPER FIT, YEAH.

>> EVEN THOUGH DOM IS PROPER FIT, YEAH. >> WE HAVEN'T EVEN DONE HAND

FIT, YEAH. >> WE HAVEN'T EVEN DONE HAND STUFF, AND I ALWAYS DO HAND

>> WE HAVEN'T EVEN DONE HAND STUFF, AND I ALWAYS DO HAND STUFF.

STUFF, AND I ALWAYS DO HAND STUFF. >> IT'S ALL GOING TO BE WORTH IT

STUFF. >> IT'S ALL GOING TO BE WORTH IT TO WIN THIS 200 GRAND.

>> IT'S ALL GOING TO BE WORTH IT TO WIN THIS 200 GRAND. >> UNFORTUNATELY, THAT WON'T BE

TO WIN THIS 200 GRAND. >> UNFORTUNATELY, THAT WON'T BE HAPPENING.

>> UNFORTUNATELY, THAT WON'T BE HAPPENING. LAST NIGHT, EAK COSTING THE VIL

HAPPENING. LAST NIGHT, EAK COSTING THE VIL >> NO!

LAST NIGHT, EAK COSTING THE VIL >> NO! >> BLOODY HELL.

>> NO! >> BLOODY HELL. >> IT WAS THEM TWO, WASN'T IT?

>> BLOODY HELL. >> IT WAS THEM TWO, WASN'T IT? >> ACTUALLY, IT WAS A KISS

>> IT WAS THEM TWO, WASN'T IT? >> ACTUALLY, IT WAS A KISS SHARED BETWEEN RODNEY AND GLENN

>> ACTUALLY, IT WAS A KISS SHARED BETWEEN RODNEY AND GLENN BECHAMEL.

SHARED BETWEEN RODNEY AND GLENN BECHAMEL. >> SORRY, GUYS.

BECHAMEL. >> SORRY, GUYS. I TRIED NOT TO KISS RODNEY, BUT

>> SORRY, GUYS. I TRIED NOT TO KISS RODNEY, BUT THEN I WANTED TO, SO I DID.

I TRIED NOT TO KISS RODNEY, BUT THEN I WANTED TO, SO I DID. GUESS I'M KIND OF WILD LIKE

THEN I WANTED TO, SO I DID. GUESS I'M KIND OF WILD LIKE THAT.

GUESS I'M KIND OF WILD LIKE THAT. >> WAIT, WAIT, RODNEY, YOU

THAT. >> WAIT, WAIT, RODNEY, YOU HOOKED UP WITH GLENN?

>> WAIT, WAIT, RODNEY, YOU HOOKED UP WITH GLENN? >> I KNOW.

HOOKED UP WITH GLENN? >> I KNOW. WE LOST THE PRIZE MONEY.

>> I KNOW. WE LOST THE PRIZE MONEY. >> YEAH.

WE LOST THE PRIZE MONEY. >> YEAH. THAT'S NOT WHY WE'RE SHOCKED.

>> YEAH. THAT'S NOT WHY WE'RE SHOCKED. >> YOU COULD HAVE SNOGGED

THAT'S NOT WHY WE'RE SHOCKED. >> YOU COULD HAVE SNOGGED ANYONE, AND YOU WENT WITH GLENN?

>> YOU COULD HAVE SNOGGED ANYONE, AND YOU WENT WITH GLENN? >> IT'S NOT MY FAULT.

ANYONE, AND YOU WENT WITH GLENN? >> IT'S NOT MY FAULT. THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT HER.

>> IT'S NOT MY FAULT. THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT HER. LISTEN TO HER VOICE.

THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT HER. LISTEN TO HER VOICE. >> SORRY.

LISTEN TO HER VOICE. >> SORRY. I HAD TO SNEEZE.

>> SORRY. I HAD TO SNEEZE. >> THERE WAS ANOTHER RULE BREAK

I HAD TO SNEEZE. >> THERE WAS ANOTHER RULE BREAK LAST NIGHT COSTING THE GROUP

>> THERE WAS ANOTHER RULE BREAK LAST NIGHT COSTING THE GROUP $20,000.

LAST NIGHT COSTING THE GROUP $20,000. >> NO!

$20,000. >> NO! >> IT WAS HEAVY PETTING IN THE

>> NO! >> IT WAS HEAVY PETTING IN THE GRILL AREA BETWEEN RODNEY AND

>> IT WAS HEAVY PETTING IN THE GRILL AREA BETWEEN RODNEY AND GLENN BECHAMEL.

GRILL AREA BETWEEN RODNEY AND GLENN BECHAMEL. >> I'M SORRY.

GLENN BECHAMEL. >> I'M SORRY. >> I'M SORRY.

>> I'M SORRY. >> I'M SORRY. I'VE JUST NEVER MET ANYONE LIKE

>> I'M SORRY. I'VE JUST NEVER MET ANYONE LIKE GLENN.

I'VE JUST NEVER MET ANYONE LIKE GLENN. SHE'S SO UNPREDICTABLE.

GLENN. SHE'S SO UNPREDICTABLE. >> RODNEY MADE RIBS, AND I LET

SHE'S SO UNPREDICTABLE. >> RODNEY MADE RIBS, AND I LET HIM USE MY BODY AS A NAPKIN.

>> RODNEY MADE RIBS, AND I LET HIM USE MY BODY AS A NAPKIN. IT DOESN'T MATTER.

HIM USE MY BODY AS A NAPKIN. IT DOESN'T MATTER. I PACKED 16 OF THESE SHIRTS.

IT DOESN'T MATTER. I PACKED 16 OF THESE SHIRTS. RODNEY TOLD ME NOT TO TOUCH THE

I PACKED 16 OF THESE SHIRTS. RODNEY TOLD ME NOT TO TOUCH THE GRILL.

RODNEY TOLD ME NOT TO TOUCH THE GRILL. OOPS, I DID IT ANYWAYS.

GRILL. OOPS, I DID IT ANYWAYS. >> MAYBE THIS IS A QUESTION FOR

OOPS, I DID IT ANYWAYS. >> MAYBE THIS IS A QUESTION FOR PRODUCERS, BUT WHY IS GLENN EVEN

>> MAYBE THIS IS A QUESTION FOR PRODUCERS, BUT WHY IS GLENN EVEN HERE.

PRODUCERS, BUT WHY IS GLENN EVEN HERE. >> BECAUSE I'M A HORNED-UP

HERE. >> BECAUSE I'M A HORNED-UP SINGLE LIKE YOU GUYS.

>> BECAUSE I'M A HORNED-UP SINGLE LIKE YOU GUYS. I'VE HAD SEX EIGHT TIMES.

SINGLE LIKE YOU GUYS. I'VE HAD SEX EIGHT TIMES. BUT WHO'S COUNTING?

I'VE HAD SEX EIGHT TIMES. BUT WHO'S COUNTING? ME.

BUT WHO'S COUNTING? ME. I ALWAYS COUNT.

ME. I ALWAYS COUNT. EXCEPT CALORIES, YOU ARE WHAT

I ALWAYS COUNT. EXCEPT CALORIES, YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT.

EXCEPT CALORIES, YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. SO I'M RODNEY'S ASS.

YOU EAT. SO I'M RODNEY'S ASS. >> I HOPE YOU GUYS AREN'T

SO I'M RODNEY'S ASS. >> I HOPE YOU GUYS AREN'T JEALOUS.

>> I HOPE YOU GUYS AREN'T JEALOUS. >> I'M ACTUALLY NUMB FROM THE

JEALOUS. >> I'M ACTUALLY NUMB FROM THE WASTE DOWN.

>> I'M ACTUALLY NUMB FROM THE WASTE DOWN. >> GLENN IS SO WEIRD AND OLD.

WASTE DOWN. >> GLENN IS SO WEIRD AND OLD. >> ACTUALLY, I'M 28.

>> GLENN IS SO WEIRD AND OLD. >> ACTUALLY, I'M 28. I'VE JUST BEEN THROUGH HELL.

>> ACTUALLY, I'M 28. I'VE JUST BEEN THROUGH HELL. >> ANOTHER RULE BREAK IS

I'VE JUST BEEN THROUGH HELL. >> ANOTHER RULE BREAK IS HAPPENING NOW.

>> ANOTHER RULE BREAK IS HAPPENING NOW. >> WHAT ARE THEY EVEN DOING?

HAPPENING NOW. >> WHAT ARE THEY EVEN DOING? >> SHE'S KISSING UP HIS ARM LIKE

>> WHAT ARE THEY EVEN DOING? >> SHE'S KISSING UP HIS ARM LIKE SHE'S GNAWING ON CORN.

>> SHE'S KISSING UP HIS ARM LIKE SHE'S GNAWING ON CORN. >> IS THIS A RULE BREAK?

SHE'S GNAWING ON CORN. >> IS THIS A RULE BREAK? >> TECHNICALLY NO, BUT IT MAKES

>> IS THIS A RULE BREAK? >> TECHNICALLY NO, BUT IT MAKES ME SICK, SO I'M DRAINING THE

>> TECHNICALLY NO, BUT IT MAKES ME SICK, SO I'M DRAINING THE PRIZE FUND.

ME SICK, SO I'M DRAINING THE PRIZE FUND. SOMEONE UNPLUG ME.

PRIZE FUND. SOMEONE UNPLUG ME. >> GUESS I'M KIND OF WILD LIKE

SOMEONE UNPLUG ME. >> GUESS I'M KIND OF WILD LIKE THAT.

>>> THANK YOU TO KELSEA BALLERINI,ASON