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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,249 --> 00:00:17,759 >>> AND NOW, A MESSAGE FROM THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. >>> MY FELLOW AMERICANS, THIS 2 00:00:17,761 --> 00:00:19,261 PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. >>> MY FELLOW AMERICANS, THIS TUESDAY, OUR MIDTERM ELECTIONS 3 00:00:19,263 --> 00:00:21,463 >>> MY FELLOW AMERICANS, THIS TUESDAY, OUR MIDTERM ELECTIONS WILL DETERMINE THE FATE OF OUR 4 00:00:21,465 --> 00:00:22,898 TUESDAY, OUR MIDTERM ELECTIONS WILL DETERMINE THE FATE OF OUR DEMOCRACY, AND LET'S JUST SAY, 5 00:00:22,900 --> 00:00:23,865 WILL DETERMINE THE FATE OF OUR DEMOCRACY, AND LET'S JUST SAY, BIG YIKES. 6 00:00:23,867 --> 00:00:24,766 DEMOCRACY, AND LET'S JUST SAY, BIG YIKES. WHAT'S GOING ON? 7 00:00:24,768 --> 00:00:26,635 BIG YIKES. WHAT'S GOING ON? I GUESS THE DEMOCRATS MESSAGE 8 00:00:26,637 --> 00:00:28,904 WHAT'S GOING ON? I GUESS THE DEMOCRATS MESSAGE JUST AIN'T GETTING THROUGH. 9 00:00:28,906 --> 00:00:31,239 I GUESS THE DEMOCRATS MESSAGE JUST AIN'T GETTING THROUGH. PLUS, I'M OVER HERE TALKING TO 10 00:00:31,241 --> 00:00:33,542 JUST AIN'T GETTING THROUGH. PLUS, I'M OVER HERE TALKING TO PEOPLE WHO DON'T EXIST. 11 00:00:33,544 --> 00:00:34,509 PLUS, I'M OVER HERE TALKING TO PEOPLE WHO DON'T EXIST. I DOT KNOW MUCH. 12 00:00:34,511 --> 00:00:35,310 PEOPLE WHO DON'T EXIST. I DOT KNOW MUCH. WHO'S THAT? 13 00:00:35,312 --> 00:00:36,211 I DOT KNOW MUCH. WHO'S THAT? NOBODY'S THERE. 14 00:00:36,213 --> 00:00:40,549 WHO'S THAT? NOBODY'S THERE. FOLKS, I'M TRYING LIKE HELL, I 15 00:00:40,551 --> 00:00:41,016 NOBODY'S THERE. FOLKS, I'M TRYING LIKE HELL, I PROMISE. 16 00:00:41,018 --> 00:00:42,617 FOLKS, I'M TRYING LIKE HELL, I PROMISE. I PASS THAT BIG ASS 17 00:00:42,619 --> 00:00:44,953 PROMISE. I PASS THAT BIG ASS INFRASTRUCTURE BILL. 18 00:00:44,955 --> 00:00:47,189 I PASS THAT BIG ASS INFRASTRUCTURE BILL. REMEMBER THAT? 19 00:00:47,191 --> 00:00:48,190 INFRASTRUCTURE BILL. REMEMBER THAT? $65 BILLION. 20 00:00:48,192 --> 00:00:51,927 REMEMBER THAT? $65 BILLION. LOT OF YOU REP TYPES GOT 21 00:00:51,929 --> 00:00:53,695 $65 BILLION. LOT OF YOU REP TYPES GOT BROADBAND INTERNET SO YOU CAN 22 00:00:53,697 --> 00:00:56,131 LOT OF YOU REP TYPES GOT BROADBAND INTERNET SO YOU CAN SHARE YOUR PAUL PELOSI GAY 23 00:00:56,133 --> 00:00:58,066 BROADBAND INTERNET SO YOU CAN SHARE YOUR PAUL PELOSI GAY INTERNET FICTION AT LIGHTNING 24 00:00:58,068 --> 00:00:58,366 SHARE YOUR PAUL PELOSI GAY INTERNET FICTION AT LIGHTNING SPEED. 25 00:00:58,368 --> 00:01:03,438 INTERNET FICTION AT LIGHTNING SPEED. YOU RIGHT THINKERS SURE DO LOVE 26 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:05,707 SPEED. YOU RIGHT THINKERS SURE DO LOVE THINKING UP THESE GAY SCENARIOS. 27 00:01:05,709 --> 00:01:06,441 YOU RIGHT THINKERS SURE DO LOVE THINKING UP THESE GAY SCENARIOS. KIND OF SUS. 28 00:01:06,443 --> 00:01:07,742 THINKING UP THESE GAY SCENARIOS. KIND OF SUS. I GET IT. 29 00:01:07,744 --> 00:01:09,544 KIND OF SUS. I GET IT. I'M NO SPRING CHICKEN, BUT 30 00:01:09,546 --> 00:01:11,746 I GET IT. I'M NO SPRING CHICKEN, BUT PEOPLE ARE YELLING AT OBAMA 31 00:01:11,748 --> 00:01:12,981 I'M NO SPRING CHICKEN, BUT PEOPLE ARE YELLING AT OBAMA CALLING HIM HOT. 32 00:01:12,983 --> 00:01:15,183 PEOPLE ARE YELLING AT OBAMA CALLING HIM HOT. HOW DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES ME 33 00:01:15,185 --> 00:01:15,717 CALLING HIM HOT. HOW DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES ME FEEL? 34 00:01:15,719 --> 00:01:18,353 HOW DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES ME FEEL? DO YOURSELF A FAVOR, GOOGLE 35 00:01:18,355 --> 00:01:19,054 FEEL? DO YOURSELF A FAVOR, GOOGLE YOUNG JOE BIDEN AND START A 36 00:01:19,056 --> 00:01:25,560 DO YOURSELF A FAVOR, GOOGLE YOUNG JOE BIDEN AND START A BUBBLE BATH. 37 00:01:25,562 --> 00:01:27,929 YOUNG JOE BIDEN AND START A BUBBLE BATH. YOU GUYS THINK I'M BORING NOW? 38 00:01:27,931 --> 00:01:30,599 BUBBLE BATH. YOU GUYS THINK I'M BORING NOW? WELL, I CAN DO CRAZY STUFF TOO. 39 00:01:30,601 --> 00:01:30,866 YOU GUYS THINK I'M BORING NOW? WELL, I CAN DO CRAZY STUFF TOO. AHH! 40 00:01:30,868 --> 00:01:33,802 WELL, I CAN DO CRAZY STUFF TOO. AHH! I SCARED MYSELF. 41 00:01:33,804 --> 00:01:35,737 AHH! I SCARED MYSELF. LISTEN, FOLKS, THAT'S THE 42 00:01:35,739 --> 00:01:36,071 I SCARED MYSELF. LISTEN, FOLKS, THAT'S THE PROBLEM. 43 00:01:36,073 --> 00:01:39,674 LISTEN, FOLKS, THAT'S THE PROBLEM. WE DON'T HAVE ANY STARS ANYMORE. 44 00:01:39,676 --> 00:01:42,010 PROBLEM. WE DON'T HAVE ANY STARS ANYMORE. TOO MANY RAPHAEL WARNOCKS AND 45 00:01:42,012 --> 00:01:45,347 WE DON'T HAVE ANY STARS ANYMORE. TOO MANY RAPHAEL WARNOCKS AND NOT ENOUGH HERSCHEL WALKERS, 46 00:01:45,349 --> 00:01:46,314 TOO MANY RAPHAEL WARNOCKS AND NOT ENOUGH HERSCHEL WALKERS, WHICH IS WHY WE'RE GOING TO MAKE 47 00:01:46,316 --> 00:01:48,350 NOT ENOUGH HERSCHEL WALKERS, WHICH IS WHY WE'RE GOING TO MAKE SOME CHANGES BEFORE NEXT TUESDAY 48 00:01:48,352 --> 00:01:49,818 WHICH IS WHY WE'RE GOING TO MAKE SOME CHANGES BEFORE NEXT TUESDAY WITH THE DEM CHATS. 49 00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:53,188 SOME CHANGES BEFORE NEXT TUESDAY WITH THE DEM CHATS. HEY, CALIFORNIA, SICK OF ADAM 50 00:01:53,190 --> 00:01:53,522 WITH THE DEM CHATS. HEY, CALIFORNIA, SICK OF ADAM SCHIFF? 51 00:01:53,524 --> 00:01:58,493 HEY, CALIFORNIA, SICK OF ADAM SCHIFF? MEET THE NEXT CONGRESSWOMAN. 52 00:01:58,495 --> 00:02:00,028 SCHIFF? MEET THE NEXT CONGRESSWOMAN. IT'S MARIANNE WILLIAMSSON. 53 00:02:00,030 --> 00:02:04,232 MEET THE NEXT CONGRESSWOMAN. IT'S MARIANNE WILLIAMSSON. >> AS A PROMINENT AUTHOR AND 54 00:02:04,234 --> 00:02:09,271 IT'S MARIANNE WILLIAMSSON. >> AS A PROMINENT AUTHOR AND LEVEL FOUR ENCHANTRESS, I'M 55 00:02:09,273 --> 00:02:11,406 >> AS A PROMINENT AUTHOR AND LEVEL FOUR ENCHANTRESS, I'M READY TO FIGHT FOR THE AMERICAN 56 00:02:11,408 --> 00:02:13,708 LEVEL FOUR ENCHANTRESS, I'M READY TO FIGHT FOR THE AMERICAN DREAM, WHICH I CAN'T IN THIS 57 00:02:13,710 --> 00:02:14,176 READY TO FIGHT FOR THE AMERICAN DREAM, WHICH I CAN'T IN THIS BOWL. 58 00:02:14,178 --> 00:02:15,710 DREAM, WHICH I CAN'T IN THIS BOWL. >> SOUNDS COOL. 59 00:02:15,712 --> 00:02:17,512 BOWL. >> SOUNDS COOL. AMERICA'S NEXT DEFENSE AGAINST 60 00:02:17,514 --> 00:02:21,183 >> SOUNDS COOL. AMERICA'S NEXT DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS TEACHER, FOLKS. 61 00:02:21,185 --> 00:02:24,085 AMERICA'S NEXT DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS TEACHER, FOLKS. NOW, I LIKE DR. OZ, THIS NEXT 62 00:02:24,087 --> 00:02:25,353 THE DARK ARTS TEACHER, FOLKS. NOW, I LIKE DR. OZ, THIS NEXT GUY HAS POLITICAL EXPERIENCE. 63 00:02:25,355 --> 00:02:27,756 NOW, I LIKE DR. OZ, THIS NEXT GUY HAS POLITICAL EXPERIENCE. HE WAS THE MAYOR OF FLAVOR TOWN 64 00:02:27,758 --> 00:02:33,094 GUY HAS POLITICAL EXPERIENCE. HE WAS THE MAYOR OF FLAVOR TOWN FOR OVER 20 YEARS, GUY FIERI. 65 00:02:33,096 --> 00:02:34,629 HE WAS THE MAYOR OF FLAVOR TOWN FOR OVER 20 YEARS, GUY FIERI. >> LISTEN, MAN, AMERICA'S HUNGRY 66 00:02:34,631 --> 00:02:37,098 FOR OVER 20 YEARS, GUY FIERI. >> LISTEN, MAN, AMERICA'S HUNGRY FOR CHANGE, BUT DO Y'ALL WANT A 67 00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:40,168 >> LISTEN, MAN, AMERICA'S HUNGRY FOR CHANGE, BUT DO Y'ALL WANT A FULL PLATE OF PAID FAMILY LEAVE 68 00:02:40,170 --> 00:02:43,505 FOR CHANGE, BUT DO Y'ALL WANT A FULL PLATE OF PAID FAMILY LEAVE DRIPPING IN DONKEY SAUCE? 69 00:02:43,507 --> 00:02:45,273 FULL PLATE OF PAID FAMILY LEAVE DRIPPING IN DONKEY SAUCE? FULL THROTTLE, WHOO! 70 00:02:45,275 --> 00:02:46,775 DRIPPING IN DONKEY SAUCE? FULL THROTTLE, WHOO! >> LOVE THAT GUY. 71 00:02:46,777 --> 00:02:49,611 FULL THROTTLE, WHOO! >> LOVE THAT GUY. DREAM JOB. 72 00:02:49,613 --> 00:02:50,445 >> LOVE THAT GUY. DREAM JOB. DREAM JOB. 73 00:02:50,447 --> 00:02:51,780 DREAM JOB. DREAM JOB. HEY, OHIO, MEET YOUR NEXT 74 00:02:51,782 --> 00:02:54,683 DREAM JOB. HEY, OHIO, MEET YOUR NEXT SENATOR. 75 00:02:54,685 --> 00:02:55,951 HEY, OHIO, MEET YOUR NEXT SENATOR. >> HEY! 76 00:02:55,953 --> 00:02:58,220 SENATOR. >> HEY! I WANT NO CAP ON SOCIAL 77 00:02:58,222 --> 00:02:58,720 >> HEY! I WANT NO CAP ON SOCIAL SECURITIES. 78 00:02:58,722 --> 00:03:00,188 I WANT NO CAP ON SOCIAL SECURITIES. NO CAP. 79 00:03:00,190 --> 00:03:02,924 SECURITIES. NO CAP. DEMOCRATS, BABY. 80 00:03:02,926 --> 00:03:04,960 NO CAP. DEMOCRATS, BABY. TRE WAY. 81 00:03:04,962 --> 00:03:07,429 DEMOCRATS, BABY. TRE WAY. TRE WAY! 82 00:03:07,431 --> 00:03:11,099 TRE WAY. TRE WAY! >> WHAT A TERRIFYING YOUNG MAN. 83 00:03:11,101 --> 00:03:16,438 TRE WAY! >> WHAT A TERRIFYING YOUNG MAN. TIRED OF RICHARD WHITMER? 84 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:17,772 >> WHAT A TERRIFYING YOUNG MAN. TIRED OF RICHARD WHITMER? MEET STORMY DANIELS. 85 00:03:17,774 --> 00:03:19,474 TIRED OF RICHARD WHITMER? MEET STORMY DANIELS. >> HI, TV. 86 00:03:19,476 --> 00:03:23,311 MEET STORMY DANIELS. >> HI, TV. I MAY BE A FORMER ADULT STAR, 87 00:03:23,313 --> 00:03:26,081 >> HI, TV. I MAY BE A FORMER ADULT STAR, BUT I'M WILLING TO DEFACE MYSELF 88 00:03:26,083 --> 00:03:29,150 I MAY BE A FORMER ADULT STAR, BUT I'M WILLING TO DEFACE MYSELF AND ENTER U.S. POLITICS. 89 00:03:29,152 --> 00:03:30,518 BUT I'M WILLING TO DEFACE MYSELF AND ENTER U.S. POLITICS. I CAN WORK WITH ANYONE, AND I'M 90 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:31,553 AND ENTER U.S. POLITICS. I CAN WORK WITH ANYONE, AND I'M WILLING TO REACH AROUND THE 91 00:03:31,555 --> 00:03:34,189 I CAN WORK WITH ANYONE, AND I'M WILLING TO REACH AROUND THE AISLE TO GET THINGS DONE. 92 00:03:34,191 --> 00:03:35,790 WILLING TO REACH AROUND THE AISLE TO GET THINGS DONE. >> I THINK IT'S REACH ACROSS THE 93 00:03:35,792 --> 00:03:36,124 AISLE TO GET THINGS DONE. >> I THINK IT'S REACH ACROSS THE AISLE. 94 00:03:36,126 --> 00:03:36,825 >> I THINK IT'S REACH ACROSS THE AISLE. >> SURE. 95 00:03:36,827 --> 00:03:37,259 AISLE. >> SURE. YOU DO YOU. 96 00:03:37,261 --> 00:03:39,361 >> SURE. YOU DO YOU. >> TALENTED ACTRESS. 97 00:03:39,363 --> 00:03:41,396 YOU DO YOU. >> TALENTED ACTRESS. NOW INTRODUCING SOMEONE WHO'S 98 00:03:41,398 --> 00:03:43,465 >> TALENTED ACTRESS. NOW INTRODUCING SOMEONE WHO'S GOING TO BEAT MARCO RUBIO 99 00:03:43,467 --> 00:03:45,166 NOW INTRODUCING SOMEONE WHO'S GOING TO BEAT MARCO RUBIO BECAUSE SHE'S NOT AFRAID TO 100 00:03:45,168 --> 00:03:45,634 GOING TO BEAT MARCO RUBIO BECAUSE SHE'S NOT AFRAID TO FIGHT. 101 00:03:45,636 --> 00:03:49,738 BECAUSE SHE'S NOT AFRAID TO FIGHT. SHE'S YOUR NEXT SENATOR FOR 102 00:03:49,740 --> 00:03:52,540 FIGHT. SHE'S YOUR NEXT SENATOR FOR FLORIDA, AZAELIA BANKS. 103 00:03:52,542 --> 00:03:59,347 SHE'S YOUR NEXT SENATOR FOR FLORIDA, AZAELIA BANKS. >> I'M A WITCH, BITCH! 104 00:03:59,349 --> 00:03:59,681 FLORIDA, AZAELIA BANKS. >> I'M A WITCH, BITCH! >> OKAY. 105 00:03:59,683 --> 00:04:01,650 >> I'M A WITCH, BITCH! >> OKAY. FINALLY, PEOPLE GOT MAT AT ME 106 00:04:01,652 --> 00:04:03,685 >> OKAY. FINALLY, PEOPLE GOT MAT AT ME ABOUT STUDENT LOAN FORGIVENESS, 107 00:04:03,687 --> 00:04:07,589 FINALLY, PEOPLE GOT MAT AT ME ABOUT STUDENT LOAN FORGIVENESS, BUT HE'S IN CHARGE OF IT NOW. 108 00:04:07,591 --> 00:04:08,023 ABOUT STUDENT LOAN FORGIVENESS, BUT HE'S IN CHARGE OF IT NOW. TRACY MORGAN. 109 00:04:08,025 --> 00:04:08,623 BUT HE'S IN CHARGE OF IT NOW. TRACY MORGAN. >> OKAY. 110 00:04:08,625 --> 00:04:09,858 TRACY MORGAN. >> OKAY. Y'ALL WANT THAT MONEY? 111 00:04:09,860 --> 00:04:11,693 >> OKAY. Y'ALL WANT THAT MONEY? WHY DON'T YOU COME ON OVER HERE 112 00:04:11,695 --> 00:04:13,161 Y'ALL WANT THAT MONEY? WHY DON'T YOU COME ON OVER HERE AND RUB MY BELLY. 113 00:04:13,163 --> 00:04:16,164 WHY DON'T YOU COME ON OVER HERE AND RUB MY BELLY. >> THANK YOU, TRACY. 114 00:04:16,166 --> 00:04:17,565 AND RUB MY BELLY. >> THANK YOU, TRACY. EVERYBODY, GET UP HERE. 115 00:04:17,567 --> 00:04:19,668 >> THANK YOU, TRACY. EVERYBODY, GET UP HERE. THERE THEY ARE, YOUR NEW 116 00:04:19,670 --> 00:04:20,802 EVERYBODY, GET UP HERE. THERE THEY ARE, YOUR NEW DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES. 117 00:04:20,804 --> 00:04:21,670 THERE THEY ARE, YOUR NEW DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES. ALL RIGHT, TEAM. 118 00:04:21,672 --> 00:04:22,637 DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES. ALL RIGHT, TEAM. WHAT DO WE WANT? 119 00:04:22,639 --> 00:04:25,907 ALL RIGHT, TEAM. WHAT DO WE WANT? >> I KIND OF WANT SOME 120 00:04:25,909 --> 00:04:26,775 WHAT DO WE WANT? >> I KIND OF WANT SOME SUGAR-FREE WHITE CASTLE. 121 00:04:26,777 --> 00:04:28,476 >> I KIND OF WANT SOME SUGAR-FREE WHITE CASTLE. >> WHEN DO WE WANT IT? 122 00:04:28,478 --> 00:04:30,779 SUGAR-FREE WHITE CASTLE. >> WHEN DO WE WANT IT? >> I MEAN, MY MIND IS LIKE 123 00:04:30,781 --> 00:04:31,646 >> WHEN DO WE WANT IT? >> I MEAN, MY MIND IS LIKE WHENEVER YOU GOOD, BABY GIRL. 124 00:04:31,648 --> 00:04:34,115 >> I MEAN, MY MIND IS LIKE WHENEVER YOU GOOD, BABY GIRL. >> ALL RIGHT. 125 00:04:34,117 --> 00:04:35,450 WHENEVER YOU GOOD, BABY GIRL. >> ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO, TEAM. 126 00:04:35,452 --> 00:04:36,985 >> ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO, TEAM. WE'RE GOING TO BE FINE. 127 00:04:36,987 --> 00:04:38,520 LET'S GO, TEAM. WE'RE GOING TO BE FINE. AND LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S 128 00:04:38,522 --> 00:04:40,188 WE'RE GOING TO BE FINE. AND LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT! 129 00:04:40,190 --> 00:04:46,561 AND LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT! ♪ 130 00:04:46,563 --> 00:04:50,398 SATURDAY NIGHT! ♪ >> Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY 131 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:51,032 ♪ >> Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE". 132 00:04:51,034 --> 00:04:57,706 >> Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE". WITH -- MICHAEL CHE. 133 00:04:57,708 --> 00:05:03,878 NIGHT LIVE". WITH -- MICHAEL CHE. MIKEY DAY. 134 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:10,485 WITH -- MICHAEL CHE. MIKEY DAY. ANDREW DISMUKES. 135 00:05:10,487 --> 00:05:15,690 MIKEY DAY. ANDREW DISMUKES. CHLOE FINEMAN. 136 00:05:15,692 --> 00:05:22,130 ANDREW DISMUKES. CHLOE FINEMAN. HEIDI GARDENER. 137 00:05:22,132 --> 00:05:27,836 CHLOE FINEMAN. HEIDI GARDENER. PUNKIE JOHNSON. 138 00:05:27,838 --> 00:05:40,415 HEIDI GARDENER. PUNKIE JOHNSON. COLIN JOST. 139 00:05:40,417 --> 00:05:43,585 PUNKIE JOHNSON. COLIN JOST. EGO NWODEM. 140 00:05:43,587 --> 00:05:47,422 COLIN JOST. EGO NWODEM. CECILY STRONG. 141 00:05:47,424 --> 00:05:52,026 EGO NWODEM. CECILY STRONG. KENAN THOMPSON. 142 00:05:52,028 --> 00:06:03,905 CECILY STRONG. KENAN THOMPSON. BOWEN YANG. 143 00:06:03,907 --> 00:06:08,276 KENAN THOMPSON. BOWEN YANG. FEATURING, MARCELLO HERNANDEZ. 144 00:06:08,278 --> 00:06:12,247 BOWEN YANG. FEATURING, MARCELLO HERNANDEZ. JAMES AUSTIN JOHNSON. 145 00:06:12,249 --> 00:06:16,117 FEATURING, MARCELLO HERNANDEZ. JAMES AUSTIN JOHNSON. MOLLY KEARNEY. 146 00:06:16,119 --> 00:06:25,860 JAMES AUSTIN JOHNSON. MOLLY KEARNEY. MICHAEL LONGFELLOW. 147 00:06:25,862 --> 00:06:27,562 MOLLY KEARNEY. MICHAEL LONGFELLOW. SARAH SHERMAN. 148 00:06:27,564 --> 00:06:34,502 MICHAEL LONGFELLOW. SARAH SHERMAN. DEVON WALKER. 149 00:06:34,504 --> 00:06:40,175 SARAH SHERMAN. DEVON WALKER. MUSICAL GUEST, STEVE LACY. 150 00:06:40,177 --> 00:06:47,682 DEVON WALKER. MUSICAL GUEST, STEVE LACY. AND YOUR HOST, AMY SCHUMER. 151 00:06:47,684 --> 00:06:48,316 MUSICAL GUEST, STEVE LACY. AND YOUR HOST, AMY SCHUMER. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AMY 152 00:06:48,318 --> 00:06:49,284 AND YOUR HOST, AMY SCHUMER. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AMY SCHUMER. 153 00:06:49,286 --> 00:07:05,733 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AMY SCHUMER. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 154 00:07:08,737 --> 00:07:13,608 >>> THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 155 00:07:13,610 --> 00:07:15,443 THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. IT'S SO GREAT TO BE BACK HERE 156 00:07:15,445 --> 00:07:16,744 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. IT'S SO GREAT TO BE BACK HERE HOSTING "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE." 157 00:07:16,746 --> 00:07:17,712 IT'S SO GREAT TO BE BACK HERE HOSTING "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE." I HAVE BEEN SO BUSY. 158 00:07:17,714 --> 00:07:24,018 HOSTING "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE." I HAVE BEEN SO BUSY. YOU MAY HAVE SEEN MY HULU SHOW, 159 00:07:24,020 --> 00:07:25,186 I HAVE BEEN SO BUSY. YOU MAY HAVE SEEN MY HULU SHOW, "LIFE AND BETH "AND "INSIDE AMY 160 00:07:25,188 --> 00:07:29,324 YOU MAY HAVE SEEN MY HULU SHOW, "LIFE AND BETH "AND "INSIDE AMY SCHUMER IS BACK ON PARAMOUNT+" 161 00:07:29,326 --> 00:07:30,425 "LIFE AND BETH "AND "INSIDE AMY SCHUMER IS BACK ON PARAMOUNT+" AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE THE 162 00:07:30,427 --> 00:07:32,193 SCHUMER IS BACK ON PARAMOUNT+" AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE THE HONOR OF BEING THE FINAL HOST 163 00:07:32,195 --> 00:07:35,129 AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE THE HONOR OF BEING THE FINAL HOST BEFORE THE MIDTERM ABORTIONS -- 164 00:07:35,131 --> 00:07:35,497 HONOR OF BEING THE FINAL HOST BEFORE THE MIDTERM ABORTIONS -- ELECTIONS. 165 00:07:35,499 --> 00:07:36,698 BEFORE THE MIDTERM ABORTIONS -- ELECTIONS. WHAT DID I SAY? 166 00:07:36,700 --> 00:07:36,998 ELECTIONS. WHAT DID I SAY? SORRY. 167 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,300 WHAT DID I SAY? SORRY. I WAS THINKING ABOUT WHAT'S AT 168 00:07:39,302 --> 00:07:40,768 SORRY. I WAS THINKING ABOUT WHAT'S AT STAKE IF WE DON'T VOTE. 169 00:07:40,770 --> 00:07:42,604 I WAS THINKING ABOUT WHAT'S AT STAKE IF WE DON'T VOTE. PEOPLE LOVE GIVING PREGNANT 170 00:07:42,606 --> 00:07:44,305 STAKE IF WE DON'T VOTE. PEOPLE LOVE GIVING PREGNANT WOMEN ADVICE, DON'T THEY? 171 00:07:44,307 --> 00:07:47,475 PEOPLE LOVE GIVING PREGNANT WOMEN ADVICE, DON'T THEY? THE WHOLE TIME I WAS PREGNANT, I 172 00:07:47,477 --> 00:07:49,277 WOMEN ADVICE, DON'T THEY? THE WHOLE TIME I WAS PREGNANT, I HAD THIS ONE FRIEND TELLING ME, 173 00:07:49,279 --> 00:07:52,380 THE WHOLE TIME I WAS PREGNANT, I HAD THIS ONE FRIEND TELLING ME, YOU GOT TO DO PRENATAL YOGA. 174 00:07:52,382 --> 00:07:54,082 HAD THIS ONE FRIEND TELLING ME, YOU GOT TO DO PRENATAL YOGA. IT REALLY HELPS WITH THE BIRTH. 175 00:07:54,084 --> 00:07:57,252 YOU GOT TO DO PRENATAL YOGA. IT REALLY HELPS WITH THE BIRTH. SO I IMMEDIATELY SIGNED UP FOR A 176 00:07:57,254 --> 00:07:57,619 IT REALLY HELPS WITH THE BIRTH. SO I IMMEDIATELY SIGNED UP FOR A C-SECTION. 177 00:07:57,621 --> 00:07:59,320 SO I IMMEDIATELY SIGNED UP FOR A C-SECTION. BUT NO, I DID. 178 00:07:59,322 --> 00:08:02,056 C-SECTION. BUT NO, I DID. I HAD A C, HE CAME OUT THE 179 00:08:02,058 --> 00:08:02,390 BUT NO, I DID. I HAD A C, HE CAME OUT THE SUNROOF. 180 00:08:02,392 --> 00:08:04,959 I HAD A C, HE CAME OUT THE SUNROOF. NO MATTER HOW YOU GIVE BIRTH, 181 00:08:04,961 --> 00:08:07,428 SUNROOF. NO MATTER HOW YOU GIVE BIRTH, THE DOCTORS ALL TELL YOU -- IT 182 00:08:07,430 --> 00:08:10,431 NO MATTER HOW YOU GIVE BIRTH, THE DOCTORS ALL TELL YOU -- IT COULD BE VAGINAL, C-SECTION. 183 00:08:10,433 --> 00:08:11,966 THE DOCTORS ALL TELL YOU -- IT COULD BE VAGINAL, C-SECTION. THEY ALMOST NEVER COME OUT OF 184 00:08:11,968 --> 00:08:12,867 COULD BE VAGINAL, C-SECTION. THEY ALMOST NEVER COME OUT OF YOUR BUTT HOLE. 185 00:08:12,869 --> 00:08:16,538 THEY ALMOST NEVER COME OUT OF YOUR BUTT HOLE. BUT THEY TELL YOU, NO MATTER 186 00:08:16,540 --> 00:08:17,405 YOUR BUTT HOLE. BUT THEY TELL YOU, NO MATTER WHAT, THE DOCTORS SAY, YOU 187 00:08:17,407 --> 00:08:19,607 BUT THEY TELL YOU, NO MATTER WHAT, THE DOCTORS SAY, YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX FOR SIX WEEKS. 188 00:08:19,609 --> 00:08:21,576 WHAT, THE DOCTORS SAY, YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX FOR SIX WEEKS. YOU GOT IT? 189 00:08:21,578 --> 00:08:22,277 CANNOT HAVE SEX FOR SIX WEEKS. YOU GOT IT? SIX WEEKS, NO SEX. 190 00:08:22,279 --> 00:08:24,646 YOU GOT IT? SIX WEEKS, NO SEX. I WAS LIKE, OKAY. 191 00:08:24,648 --> 00:08:30,251 SIX WEEKS, NO SEX. I WAS LIKE, OKAY. REMEMBER WHEN YOU JUST 192 00:08:30,253 --> 00:08:31,920 I WAS LIKE, OKAY. REMEMBER WHEN YOU JUST WOLVERINED ME OPEN? 193 00:08:31,922 --> 00:08:32,387 REMEMBER WHEN YOU JUST WOLVERINED ME OPEN? REMEMBER THAT? 194 00:08:32,389 --> 00:08:35,189 WOLVERINED ME OPEN? REMEMBER THAT? HOW ABOUT SIX YEARS? 195 00:08:35,191 --> 00:08:38,726 REMEMBER THAT? HOW ABOUT SIX YEARS? THAT'S WHEN I THINK I'LL BE 196 00:08:38,728 --> 00:08:39,027 HOW ABOUT SIX YEARS? THAT'S WHEN I THINK I'LL BE READY. 197 00:08:39,029 --> 00:08:39,594 THAT'S WHEN I THINK I'LL BE READY. OKAY? 198 00:08:39,596 --> 00:08:42,430 READY. OKAY? REMEMBER, HIS FOOT GOT CAUGHT ON 199 00:08:42,432 --> 00:08:43,831 OKAY? REMEMBER, HIS FOOT GOT CAUGHT ON MY INTESTINES. 200 00:08:43,833 --> 00:08:45,800 REMEMBER, HIS FOOT GOT CAUGHT ON MY INTESTINES. WHEN CAN I GET RAW DOGGED FROM 201 00:08:45,802 --> 00:08:46,134 MY INTESTINES. WHEN CAN I GET RAW DOGGED FROM BEHIND? 202 00:08:46,136 --> 00:08:48,670 WHEN CAN I GET RAW DOGGED FROM BEHIND? PLEASE. 203 00:08:48,672 --> 00:08:50,872 BEHIND? PLEASE. BUT MY HUSBAND AND I, WE DO HAVE 204 00:08:50,874 --> 00:08:52,707 PLEASE. BUT MY HUSBAND AND I, WE DO HAVE A GOOD SEX LIFE. 205 00:08:52,709 --> 00:08:54,175 BUT MY HUSBAND AND I, WE DO HAVE A GOOD SEX LIFE. MARRIED PEOPLE, WE HAVE FOUND 206 00:08:54,177 --> 00:08:57,178 A GOOD SEX LIFE. MARRIED PEOPLE, WE HAVE FOUND THAT THE BEST WEEKDAY TO HAVE 207 00:08:57,180 --> 00:09:00,248 MARRIED PEOPLE, WE HAVE FOUND THAT THE BEST WEEKDAY TO HAVE SEX IS ALWAYS TOMORROW. 208 00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:00,548 THAT THE BEST WEEKDAY TO HAVE SEX IS ALWAYS TOMORROW. YEAH. 209 00:09:00,550 --> 00:09:02,750 SEX IS ALWAYS TOMORROW. YEAH. WE'RE LIKE, WE ATE TODAY. 210 00:09:02,752 --> 00:09:04,018 YEAH. WE'RE LIKE, WE ATE TODAY. MAYBE WE WON'T EAT TOMORROW. 211 00:09:04,020 --> 00:09:07,221 WE'RE LIKE, WE ATE TODAY. MAYBE WE WON'T EAT TOMORROW. THAT WILL BE A GOOD DAY FOR US. 212 00:09:07,223 --> 00:09:08,923 MAYBE WE WON'T EAT TOMORROW. THAT WILL BE A GOOD DAY FOR US. MY HUSBAND'S THE BEST. 213 00:09:08,925 --> 00:09:11,793 THAT WILL BE A GOOD DAY FOR US. MY HUSBAND'S THE BEST. HE ALWAYS -- BEFORE WE HAVE SEX, 214 00:09:11,795 --> 00:09:14,128 MY HUSBAND'S THE BEST. HE ALWAYS -- BEFORE WE HAVE SEX, HE PUTS THE LIGHTS ON, YOU KNOW, 215 00:09:14,130 --> 00:09:16,564 HE ALWAYS -- BEFORE WE HAVE SEX, HE PUTS THE LIGHTS ON, YOU KNOW, AND I SHUT THEM OFF, AND HE PUTS 216 00:09:16,566 --> 00:09:17,432 HE PUTS THE LIGHTS ON, YOU KNOW, AND I SHUT THEM OFF, AND HE PUTS THEM ON. 217 00:09:17,434 --> 00:09:19,734 AND I SHUT THEM OFF, AND HE PUTS THEM ON. AND HE'S LIKE, AMY, WHY ARE YOU 218 00:09:19,736 --> 00:09:20,568 THEM ON. AND HE'S LIKE, AMY, WHY ARE YOU SO SHY? 219 00:09:20,570 --> 00:09:22,203 AND HE'S LIKE, AMY, WHY ARE YOU SO SHY? YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BODY. 220 00:09:22,205 --> 00:09:24,505 SO SHY? YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BODY. I'M LIKE, OH, MY GOD. 221 00:09:24,507 --> 00:09:25,573 YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BODY. I'M LIKE, OH, MY GOD. YOU'RE SO CUTE. 222 00:09:25,575 --> 00:09:26,441 I'M LIKE, OH, MY GOD. YOU'RE SO CUTE. YOU THINK I DON'T WANT YOU TO 223 00:09:26,443 --> 00:09:27,775 YOU'RE SO CUTE. YOU THINK I DON'T WANT YOU TO SEE ME. 224 00:09:27,777 --> 00:09:30,011 YOU THINK I DON'T WANT YOU TO SEE ME. [ LAUGHTER ] 225 00:09:30,013 --> 00:09:34,315 SEE ME. [ LAUGHTER ] SO SWEET, RIGHT? 226 00:09:34,317 --> 00:09:35,650 [ LAUGHTER ] SO SWEET, RIGHT? BUT IT IS. 227 00:09:35,652 --> 00:09:38,219 SO SWEET, RIGHT? BUT IT IS. I'LL BE HONEST, IT'S AWKWARD 228 00:09:38,221 --> 00:09:40,388 BUT IT IS. I'LL BE HONEST, IT'S AWKWARD HAVING SEX WITH YOUR SPOUSE, IT 229 00:09:40,390 --> 00:09:40,655 I'LL BE HONEST, IT'S AWKWARD HAVING SEX WITH YOUR SPOUSE, IT IS. 230 00:09:40,657 --> 00:09:41,322 HAVING SEX WITH YOUR SPOUSE, IT IS. BECAUSE, LIKE, THAT'S YOUR 231 00:09:41,324 --> 00:09:44,158 IS. BECAUSE, LIKE, THAT'S YOUR FAMILY. 232 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:45,393 BECAUSE, LIKE, THAT'S YOUR FAMILY. YOU KNOW? 233 00:09:45,395 --> 00:09:47,695 FAMILY. YOU KNOW? LIKE I HAVE THANKSGIVING WITH 234 00:09:47,697 --> 00:09:47,962 YOU KNOW? LIKE I HAVE THANKSGIVING WITH YOU. 235 00:09:47,964 --> 00:09:49,764 LIKE I HAVE THANKSGIVING WITH YOU. I LAY OUT YOUR SWEATERS, YOU 236 00:09:49,766 --> 00:09:50,064 YOU. I LAY OUT YOUR SWEATERS, YOU KNOW? 237 00:09:50,066 --> 00:09:52,233 I LAY OUT YOUR SWEATERS, YOU KNOW? LIKE I CAN'T GO DOWN ON YOU. 238 00:09:52,235 --> 00:09:58,606 KNOW? LIKE I CAN'T GO DOWN ON YOU. YOU'RE MY EMERGENCY CONTACT FOR 239 00:09:58,608 --> 00:09:59,040 LIKE I CAN'T GO DOWN ON YOU. YOU'RE MY EMERGENCY CONTACT FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. 240 00:09:59,042 --> 00:09:59,440 YOU'RE MY EMERGENCY CONTACT FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. IT'S SICK. 241 00:09:59,442 --> 00:10:01,376 CHRIST'S SAKE. IT'S SICK. WE CAN'T TALK DIRTY TO EACH 242 00:10:01,378 --> 00:10:01,709 IT'S SICK. WE CAN'T TALK DIRTY TO EACH ANYMORE. 243 00:10:01,711 --> 00:10:04,045 WE CAN'T TALK DIRTY TO EACH ANYMORE. WE KNOW EACH OTHER TOO WELL. 244 00:10:04,047 --> 00:10:06,247 ANYMORE. WE KNOW EACH OTHER TOO WELL. I'M ALWAYS LIKE, I'M GOING TO -- 245 00:10:06,249 --> 00:10:08,416 WE KNOW EACH OTHER TOO WELL. I'M ALWAYS LIKE, I'M GOING TO -- HE'S LIKE, NO, YOU'RE NOT. 246 00:10:08,418 --> 00:10:10,618 I'M ALWAYS LIKE, I'M GOING TO -- HE'S LIKE, NO, YOU'RE NOT. I'M LIKE, NO, NO, I'M NOT. 247 00:10:10,620 --> 00:10:12,654 HE'S LIKE, NO, YOU'RE NOT. I'M LIKE, NO, NO, I'M NOT. WE DO A LOT OF ROLE PLAY. 248 00:10:12,656 --> 00:10:14,756 I'M LIKE, NO, NO, I'M NOT. WE DO A LOT OF ROLE PLAY. BUT I ALWAYS PICK THE SAME ROLE. 249 00:10:14,758 --> 00:10:16,591 WE DO A LOT OF ROLE PLAY. BUT I ALWAYS PICK THE SAME ROLE. I'M ALWAYS LIKE, OKAY, I AM IN A 250 00:10:16,593 --> 00:10:17,759 BUT I ALWAYS PICK THE SAME ROLE. I'M ALWAYS LIKE, OKAY, I AM IN A COMA. 251 00:10:17,761 --> 00:10:21,629 I'M ALWAYS LIKE, OKAY, I AM IN A COMA. [ LAUGHTER ] 252 00:10:21,631 --> 00:10:28,069 COMA. [ LAUGHTER ] GO. 253 00:10:28,071 --> 00:10:30,638 [ LAUGHTER ] GO. MY HUSBAND IS DIAGNOSED, HE'S ON 254 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:33,074 GO. MY HUSBAND IS DIAGNOSED, HE'S ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM. 255 00:10:33,076 --> 00:10:39,647 MY HUSBAND IS DIAGNOSED, HE'S ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM. HE HAS AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER. 256 00:10:39,649 --> 00:10:43,818 THE AUTISM SPECTRUM. HE HAS AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER. USED TO BE CALLED ASPERGER'S, 257 00:10:43,820 --> 00:10:48,156 HE HAS AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER. USED TO BE CALLED ASPERGER'S, BUT TURNS OUT THAT HAD LIKE NAZI 258 00:10:48,158 --> 00:10:49,357 USED TO BE CALLED ASPERGER'S, BUT TURNS OUT THAT HAD LIKE NAZI TIES, KANYE. 259 00:10:49,359 --> 00:10:54,495 BUT TURNS OUT THAT HAD LIKE NAZI TIES, KANYE. [ LAUGHTER ] 260 00:10:54,497 --> 00:10:54,796 TIES, KANYE. [ LAUGHTER ] WEIRD. 261 00:10:54,798 --> 00:10:55,096 [ LAUGHTER ] WEIRD. YEAH. 262 00:10:55,098 --> 00:10:56,164 WEIRD. YEAH. ISN'T THAT CRAZY? 263 00:10:56,166 --> 00:10:57,165 YEAH. ISN'T THAT CRAZY? BUT NO. 264 00:10:57,167 --> 00:10:58,966 ISN'T THAT CRAZY? BUT NO. IT'S BEEN REALLY POSITIVE FOR 265 00:10:58,968 --> 00:11:01,369 BUT NO. IT'S BEEN REALLY POSITIVE FOR OUR FAMILY TO HAVE HIM 266 00:11:01,371 --> 00:11:01,803 IT'S BEEN REALLY POSITIVE FOR OUR FAMILY TO HAVE HIM DIAGNOSED. 267 00:11:01,805 --> 00:11:03,271 OUR FAMILY TO HAVE HIM DIAGNOSED. I UNDERSTAND SO MUCH MORE ABOUT 268 00:11:03,273 --> 00:11:05,206 DIAGNOSED. I UNDERSTAND SO MUCH MORE ABOUT HIS BEHAVIOR, AND IT'S GIVEN HIM 269 00:11:05,208 --> 00:11:06,741 I UNDERSTAND SO MUCH MORE ABOUT HIS BEHAVIOR, AND IT'S GIVEN HIM SO MANY TOOLS. 270 00:11:06,743 --> 00:11:08,710 HIS BEHAVIOR, AND IT'S GIVEN HIM SO MANY TOOLS. NOW, IF SOMEBODY IS IN THE 271 00:11:08,712 --> 00:11:11,245 SO MANY TOOLS. NOW, IF SOMEBODY IS IN THE MIDDLE OF A LONG, BORING STORY, 272 00:11:11,247 --> 00:11:13,081 NOW, IF SOMEBODY IS IN THE MIDDLE OF A LONG, BORING STORY, HE WILL STRAIGHT UP JUST WALK 273 00:11:13,083 --> 00:11:13,448 MIDDLE OF A LONG, BORING STORY, HE WILL STRAIGHT UP JUST WALK AWAY. 274 00:11:13,450 --> 00:11:14,449 HE WILL STRAIGHT UP JUST WALK AWAY. YOU KNOW? 275 00:11:14,451 --> 00:11:17,585 AWAY. YOU KNOW? AND WHEN PEOPLE FIND OUT THAT HE 276 00:11:17,587 --> 00:11:19,087 YOU KNOW? AND WHEN PEOPLE FIND OUT THAT HE HAS AUTISM, THEY DON'T KNOW MUCH 277 00:11:19,089 --> 00:11:19,787 AND WHEN PEOPLE FIND OUT THAT HE HAS AUTISM, THEY DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT IT. 278 00:11:19,789 --> 00:11:20,755 HAS AUTISM, THEY DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT IT. THEY'RE LIKE, OH, DOES HE LOVE 279 00:11:20,757 --> 00:11:23,157 ABOUT IT. THEY'RE LIKE, OH, DOES HE LOVE TO COUNT? 280 00:11:23,159 --> 00:11:26,227 THEY'RE LIKE, OH, DOES HE LOVE TO COUNT? SHOULD WE DROP A BUNCH OF STRAWS 281 00:11:26,229 --> 00:11:27,562 TO COUNT? SHOULD WE DROP A BUNCH OF STRAWS ON THE FLOOR AND HE CAN GATHER 282 00:11:27,564 --> 00:11:30,631 SHOULD WE DROP A BUNCH OF STRAWS ON THE FLOOR AND HE CAN GATHER THEM AND COUNT THEM? 283 00:11:30,633 --> 00:11:32,633 ON THE FLOOR AND HE CAN GATHER THEM AND COUNT THEM? I'M LIKE, YEAH, THAT SOUNDS 284 00:11:32,635 --> 00:11:33,034 THEM AND COUNT THEM? I'M LIKE, YEAH, THAT SOUNDS PRETTY FUN. 285 00:11:33,036 --> 00:11:35,670 I'M LIKE, YEAH, THAT SOUNDS PRETTY FUN. I WOULD LIKE TO DO THAT. 286 00:11:35,672 --> 00:11:37,305 PRETTY FUN. I WOULD LIKE TO DO THAT. HE NEVER REALLY LANDS A 287 00:11:37,307 --> 00:11:38,673 I WOULD LIKE TO DO THAT. HE NEVER REALLY LANDS A COMPLIMENT WITH ME. 288 00:11:38,675 --> 00:11:43,377 HE NEVER REALLY LANDS A COMPLIMENT WITH ME. HE TELLS ME I LOOK COMFORTABLE A 289 00:11:43,379 --> 00:11:44,445 COMPLIMENT WITH ME. HE TELLS ME I LOOK COMFORTABLE A LOT. 290 00:11:44,447 --> 00:11:46,848 HE TELLS ME I LOOK COMFORTABLE A LOT. WE HAVE DIFFERENT LOVE 291 00:11:46,850 --> 00:11:47,215 LOT. WE HAVE DIFFERENT LOVE LANGUAGES. 292 00:11:47,217 --> 00:11:48,649 WE HAVE DIFFERENT LOVE LANGUAGES. A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO, WE WERE 293 00:11:48,651 --> 00:11:49,917 LANGUAGES. A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO, WE WERE SITTING OUTSIDE. 294 00:11:49,919 --> 00:11:51,152 A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO, WE WERE SITTING OUTSIDE. IT WAS A NICE NIGHT. 295 00:11:51,154 --> 00:11:52,954 SITTING OUTSIDE. IT WAS A NICE NIGHT. IT LOOKED LIKE IT WAS GOING TO 296 00:11:52,956 --> 00:11:53,254 IT WAS A NICE NIGHT. IT LOOKED LIKE IT WAS GOING TO RAIN. 297 00:11:53,256 --> 00:11:55,156 IT LOOKED LIKE IT WAS GOING TO RAIN. I WAS FEELING SENTIMENTAL. 298 00:11:55,158 --> 00:11:57,625 RAIN. I WAS FEELING SENTIMENTAL. I WAS LIKE, EVEN THOUGH THESE 299 00:11:57,627 --> 00:11:59,393 I WAS FEELING SENTIMENTAL. I WAS LIKE, EVEN THOUGH THESE PAST COUPLE OF YEARS WITH THE 300 00:11:59,395 --> 00:12:00,828 I WAS LIKE, EVEN THOUGH THESE PAST COUPLE OF YEARS WITH THE PANDEMIC AND EVERYTHING, IT'S 301 00:12:00,830 --> 00:12:02,697 PAST COUPLE OF YEARS WITH THE PANDEMIC AND EVERYTHING, IT'S BEEN SO STRESSFUL, STILL THIS 302 00:12:02,699 --> 00:12:04,799 PANDEMIC AND EVERYTHING, IT'S BEEN SO STRESSFUL, STILL THIS TIME, BEING WITH YOU AND OUR 303 00:12:04,801 --> 00:12:06,200 BEEN SO STRESSFUL, STILL THIS TIME, BEING WITH YOU AND OUR SON, THEY HAVE BEEN THE BEST 304 00:12:06,202 --> 00:12:07,301 TIME, BEING WITH YOU AND OUR SON, THEY HAVE BEEN THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE. 305 00:12:07,303 --> 00:12:09,370 SON, THEY HAVE BEEN THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE. AND HE JUST LOOKED AT ME AND 306 00:12:09,372 --> 00:12:10,671 YEARS OF MY LIFE. AND HE JUST LOOKED AT ME AND SAID, I'M GOING TO GO PUT THE 307 00:12:10,673 --> 00:12:13,274 AND HE JUST LOOKED AT ME AND SAID, I'M GOING TO GO PUT THE WINDOWS UP IN THE CAR. 308 00:12:13,276 --> 00:12:13,674 SAID, I'M GOING TO GO PUT THE WINDOWS UP IN THE CAR. [ LAUGHTER ] 309 00:12:13,676 --> 00:12:13,975 WINDOWS UP IN THE CAR. [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH. 310 00:12:13,977 --> 00:12:17,745 [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH. MY GUY. 311 00:12:17,747 --> 00:12:19,881 YEAH. MY GUY. ONE OF THE TIMES WE PLAY THE 312 00:12:19,883 --> 00:12:24,152 MY GUY. ONE OF THE TIMES WE PLAY THE GAME AUTISM OR JUST A MAN. 313 00:12:24,154 --> 00:12:24,418 ONE OF THE TIMES WE PLAY THE GAME AUTISM OR JUST A MAN. HMM. 314 00:12:24,420 --> 00:12:24,719 GAME AUTISM OR JUST A MAN. HMM. YEAH. 315 00:12:24,721 --> 00:12:29,524 HMM. YEAH. I DON'T KNOW. 316 00:12:29,526 --> 00:12:31,692 YEAH. I DON'T KNOW. AND I'LL LEAVE YOU WITH WHAT HE 317 00:12:31,694 --> 00:12:33,628 I DON'T KNOW. AND I'LL LEAVE YOU WITH WHAT HE SAID TO ME RIGHT BEFORE I CAME 318 00:12:33,630 --> 00:12:34,228 AND I'LL LEAVE YOU WITH WHAT HE SAID TO ME RIGHT BEFORE I CAME ON STAGE TONIGHT. 319 00:12:34,230 --> 00:12:36,697 SAID TO ME RIGHT BEFORE I CAME ON STAGE TONIGHT. I SAID, BABE, IS THIS OKAY? 320 00:12:36,699 --> 00:12:37,598 ON STAGE TONIGHT. I SAID, BABE, IS THIS OKAY? AND HE SAID, WELL, IT'S TOO 321 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:41,702 I SAID, BABE, IS THIS OKAY? AND HE SAID, WELL, IT'S TOO LATE. 322 00:12:41,704 --> 00:12:44,038 AND HE SAID, WELL, IT'S TOO LATE. WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU 323 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:44,372 LATE. WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. 324 00:12:44,374 --> 00:13:05,259 WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. STEVE LACY IS HERE, SOCK 325 00:13:09,198 --> 00:13:16,137 >>> ALL RIGHT. SO WE HAVE TWO HOUSE SALADS. AND THE MATSA BALL SOUP. 326 00:13:16,139 --> 00:13:17,738 SO WE HAVE TWO HOUSE SALADS. AND THE MATSA BALL SOUP. >> ME, ME, ME. 327 00:13:17,740 --> 00:13:19,373 AND THE MATSA BALL SOUP. >> ME, ME, ME. THAT'S FOR ME. 328 00:13:19,375 --> 00:13:19,740 >> ME, ME, ME. THAT'S FOR ME. THANK YOU. 329 00:13:19,742 --> 00:13:21,375 THAT'S FOR ME. THANK YOU. I HAVE BEEN CRAVING THIS SOUP. 330 00:13:21,377 --> 00:13:22,877 THANK YOU. I HAVE BEEN CRAVING THIS SOUP. I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU. 331 00:13:22,879 --> 00:13:24,645 I HAVE BEEN CRAVING THIS SOUP. I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU. IT JUST LIKE BRINGS ME HOME. 332 00:13:24,647 --> 00:13:25,580 I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU. IT JUST LIKE BRINGS ME HOME. >> SMELLS AMAZING. 333 00:13:25,582 --> 00:13:27,515 IT JUST LIKE BRINGS ME HOME. >> SMELLS AMAZING. >> WELL, YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY. 334 00:13:27,517 --> 00:13:29,550 >> SMELLS AMAZING. >> WELL, YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY. I'M KIDDING, BUT I'M NOT BECAUSE 335 00:13:29,552 --> 00:13:30,785 >> WELL, YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY. I'M KIDDING, BUT I'M NOT BECAUSE LIKE I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT 336 00:13:30,787 --> 00:13:32,019 I'M KIDDING, BUT I'M NOT BECAUSE LIKE I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS SOUP LIKE NONSTOP. 337 00:13:32,021 --> 00:13:34,622 LIKE I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS SOUP LIKE NONSTOP. FOR REAL, I WOKE UP OUT OF A 338 00:13:34,624 --> 00:13:36,157 THIS SOUP LIKE NONSTOP. FOR REAL, I WOKE UP OUT OF A DEAD SLEEP IS OTHER NIGHT JUST 339 00:13:36,159 --> 00:13:37,491 FOR REAL, I WOKE UP OUT OF A DEAD SLEEP IS OTHER NIGHT JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS SOUP. 340 00:13:37,493 --> 00:13:40,928 DEAD SLEEP IS OTHER NIGHT JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS SOUP. SAT STRAIGHT UP, EYES WIDE OPEN, 341 00:13:40,930 --> 00:13:44,332 THINKING ABOUT THIS SOUP. SAT STRAIGHT UP, EYES WIDE OPEN, AND THOUGHT MATSA BALL SOUP FROM 342 00:13:44,334 --> 00:13:45,700 SAT STRAIGHT UP, EYES WIDE OPEN, AND THOUGHT MATSA BALL SOUP FROM MANNY'S LIKE A PSYCHO. 343 00:13:45,702 --> 00:13:46,934 AND THOUGHT MATSA BALL SOUP FROM MANNY'S LIKE A PSYCHO. I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW. 344 00:13:46,936 --> 00:13:48,336 MANNY'S LIKE A PSYCHO. I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW. >> I GUESS I HAVE SOME NEWS. 345 00:13:48,338 --> 00:13:50,738 I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW. >> I GUESS I HAVE SOME NEWS. >> OOH, WHAT IS IT? 346 00:13:50,740 --> 00:13:52,640 >> I GUESS I HAVE SOME NEWS. >> OOH, WHAT IS IT? >> MATT AND I ARE SEPARATING. 347 00:13:52,642 --> 00:13:54,041 >> OOH, WHAT IS IT? >> MATT AND I ARE SEPARATING. >> OH, NO. 348 00:13:54,043 --> 00:13:54,375 >> MATT AND I ARE SEPARATING. >> OH, NO. WHAT? 349 00:13:54,377 --> 00:13:56,510 >> OH, NO. WHAT? >> GIRLY, FOR REAL? 350 00:13:56,512 --> 00:13:57,245 WHAT? >> GIRLY, FOR REAL? >> YEAH. 351 00:13:57,247 --> 00:13:59,280 >> GIRLY, FOR REAL? >> YEAH. BUT I DON'T WANT TO RUIN LUNCH. 352 00:13:59,282 --> 00:13:59,680 >> YEAH. BUT I DON'T WANT TO RUIN LUNCH. JUST EAT. 353 00:13:59,682 --> 00:14:00,681 BUT I DON'T WANT TO RUIN LUNCH. JUST EAT. >> YEAH. 354 00:14:00,683 --> 00:14:00,982 JUST EAT. >> YEAH. YEAH. 355 00:14:00,984 --> 00:14:02,450 >> YEAH. YEAH. LET'S LIKE EAT AND THEN TALK. 356 00:14:02,452 --> 00:14:03,784 YEAH. LET'S LIKE EAT AND THEN TALK. THAT FEELS RIGHT. 357 00:14:03,786 --> 00:14:06,287 LET'S LIKE EAT AND THEN TALK. THAT FEELS RIGHT. >> OF COURSE WE'RE NOT GOING TO 358 00:14:06,289 --> 00:14:06,954 THAT FEELS RIGHT. >> OF COURSE WE'RE NOT GOING TO EAT. 359 00:14:06,956 --> 00:14:07,455 >> OF COURSE WE'RE NOT GOING TO EAT. THAT IS SO SAD. 360 00:14:07,457 --> 00:14:08,222 EAT. THAT IS SO SAD. >> OH, MY GOD. 361 00:14:08,224 --> 00:14:09,290 THAT IS SO SAD. >> OH, MY GOD. I KNOW. 362 00:14:09,292 --> 00:14:09,557 >> OH, MY GOD. I KNOW. GOD. 363 00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:12,627 I KNOW. GOD. THANK YOU FOR TELLING US. 364 00:14:12,629 --> 00:14:14,395 GOD. THANK YOU FOR TELLING US. OBVIOUSLY, LET US KNOW LIKE HOW 365 00:14:14,397 --> 00:14:15,563 THANK YOU FOR TELLING US. OBVIOUSLY, LET US KNOW LIKE HOW IT WORKS OUT. 366 00:14:15,565 --> 00:14:17,465 OBVIOUSLY, LET US KNOW LIKE HOW IT WORKS OUT. >> HE SAID HE'S GOING TO TAKE 367 00:14:17,467 --> 00:14:17,832 IT WORKS OUT. >> HE SAID HE'S GOING TO TAKE THE KIDS. 368 00:14:17,834 --> 00:14:18,866 >> HE SAID HE'S GOING TO TAKE THE KIDS. >> MY GOD. 369 00:14:18,868 --> 00:14:20,401 THE KIDS. >> MY GOD. THAT MONSTER. 370 00:14:20,403 --> 00:14:22,670 >> MY GOD. THAT MONSTER. WHAT A BASTARD. 371 00:14:22,672 --> 00:14:23,404 THAT MONSTER. WHAT A BASTARD. >> GOD. 372 00:14:23,406 --> 00:14:25,706 WHAT A BASTARD. >> GOD. WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I SAY, GOOD 373 00:14:25,708 --> 00:14:27,041 >> GOD. WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I SAY, GOOD RIDDANCE, RIGHT? 374 00:14:27,043 --> 00:14:29,910 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I SAY, GOOD RIDDANCE, RIGHT? >> GOOD RIDDANCE TO HER KIDS? 375 00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:30,411 RIDDANCE, RIGHT? >> GOOD RIDDANCE TO HER KIDS? I DON'T THINK SO. 376 00:14:30,413 --> 00:14:31,545 >> GOOD RIDDANCE TO HER KIDS? I DON'T THINK SO. WE GOT TO MAKE A PLAN. 377 00:14:31,547 --> 00:14:34,315 I DON'T THINK SO. WE GOT TO MAKE A PLAN. >> I'M ALREADY TALKING TO A 378 00:14:34,317 --> 00:14:34,649 WE GOT TO MAKE A PLAN. >> I'M ALREADY TALKING TO A LAWYER. 379 00:14:34,651 --> 00:14:35,416 >> I'M ALREADY TALKING TO A LAWYER. OH, HERE HE IS NOW. 380 00:14:35,418 --> 00:14:36,284 LAWYER. OH, HERE HE IS NOW. >> OH, GOD. 381 00:14:36,286 --> 00:14:37,985 OH, HERE HE IS NOW. >> OH, GOD. YOU BETTER TAKE THAT CALL. 382 00:14:37,987 --> 00:14:39,654 >> OH, GOD. YOU BETTER TAKE THAT CALL. TAKE AS LONG AS YOU NEED. 383 00:14:39,656 --> 00:14:40,755 YOU BETTER TAKE THAT CALL. TAKE AS LONG AS YOU NEED. LIKE, GO OUTSIDE. 384 00:14:40,757 --> 00:14:41,088 TAKE AS LONG AS YOU NEED. LIKE, GO OUTSIDE. >> WHAT? 385 00:14:41,090 --> 00:14:43,891 LIKE, GO OUTSIDE. >> WHAT? NO! 386 00:14:43,893 --> 00:14:45,526 >> WHAT? NO! >> NOW WHAT? 387 00:14:45,528 --> 00:14:47,928 NO! >> NOW WHAT? >> MY LAWYER GOT DISBARRED. 388 00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:49,764 >> NOW WHAT? >> MY LAWYER GOT DISBARRED. MY LIFE IS JUST SUCH A MESS 389 00:14:49,766 --> 00:14:50,665 >> MY LAWYER GOT DISBARRED. MY LIFE IS JUST SUCH A MESS RIGHT NOW. 390 00:14:50,667 --> 00:14:52,133 MY LIFE IS JUST SUCH A MESS RIGHT NOW. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE HALF OF 391 00:14:52,135 --> 00:14:52,400 RIGHT NOW. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE HALF OF IT. 392 00:14:52,402 --> 00:14:56,404 YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE HALF OF IT. LIKE I TOLD YOU GUYS, I GOT THAT 393 00:14:56,406 --> 00:14:57,371 IT. LIKE I TOLD YOU GUYS, I GOT THAT VP OF MARKETING JOB, AND IT WAS 394 00:14:57,373 --> 00:14:58,339 LIKE I TOLD YOU GUYS, I GOT THAT VP OF MARKETING JOB, AND IT WAS TOTAL BS. 395 00:14:58,341 --> 00:15:01,042 VP OF MARKETING JOB, AND IT WAS TOTAL BS. I NEVER EVEN APPLIED FOR IT. 396 00:15:01,044 --> 00:15:04,445 TOTAL BS. I NEVER EVEN APPLIED FOR IT. THERE'S ALL THIS OTHER STUFF 397 00:15:04,447 --> 00:15:04,712 I NEVER EVEN APPLIED FOR IT. THERE'S ALL THIS OTHER STUFF TOO. 398 00:15:04,714 --> 00:15:05,479 THERE'S ALL THIS OTHER STUFF TOO. LIKE I HAVE BEEN DRINKING LIKE 399 00:15:05,481 --> 00:15:07,982 TOO. LIKE I HAVE BEEN DRINKING LIKE AS SOON AS I WAKE UP. 400 00:15:07,984 --> 00:15:11,252 LIKE I HAVE BEEN DRINKING LIKE AS SOON AS I WAKE UP. AND I STEAL MY SON'S ADDERALL, 401 00:15:11,254 --> 00:15:14,789 AS SOON AS I WAKE UP. AND I STEAL MY SON'S ADDERALL, AND HE REALLY NEEDS IT. 402 00:15:14,791 --> 00:15:17,591 AND I STEAL MY SON'S ADDERALL, AND HE REALLY NEEDS IT. ♪ HOW LONG MUST I WAIT TO EAT MY 403 00:15:17,593 --> 00:15:21,128 AND HE REALLY NEEDS IT. ♪ HOW LONG MUST I WAIT TO EAT MY SOUP WITHOUT LOOKING LIKE AN 404 00:15:21,130 --> 00:15:21,796 ♪ HOW LONG MUST I WAIT TO EAT MY SOUP WITHOUT LOOKING LIKE AN A-HOLE ♪ 405 00:15:21,798 --> 00:15:23,431 SOUP WITHOUT LOOKING LIKE AN A-HOLE ♪ ♪ NOT THAT I DON'T CARE ABOUT 406 00:15:23,433 --> 00:15:25,032 A-HOLE ♪ ♪ NOT THAT I DON'T CARE ABOUT HER, BUT I CARE ABOUT MY SOUP A 407 00:15:25,034 --> 00:15:27,735 ♪ NOT THAT I DON'T CARE ABOUT HER, BUT I CARE ABOUT MY SOUP A LITTLE MORE ♪ 408 00:15:27,737 --> 00:15:32,373 HER, BUT I CARE ABOUT MY SOUP A LITTLE MORE ♪ ♪ MY GOD, SHE'S STILL TALKING, 409 00:15:32,375 --> 00:15:34,508 LITTLE MORE ♪ ♪ MY GOD, SHE'S STILL TALKING, BUT, HEY, AT LEAST SHE'S NOT 410 00:15:34,510 --> 00:15:37,278 ♪ MY GOD, SHE'S STILL TALKING, BUT, HEY, AT LEAST SHE'S NOT CRYING ♪ 411 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:42,616 BUT, HEY, AT LEAST SHE'S NOT CRYING ♪ ♪ NEVER MIND, SHE JUST STARTED 412 00:15:42,618 --> 00:15:43,017 CRYING ♪ ♪ NEVER MIND, SHE JUST STARTED CRYING ♪ 413 00:15:43,019 --> 00:15:47,088 ♪ NEVER MIND, SHE JUST STARTED CRYING ♪ ♪ OH, BUT I HAVE A GREAT IDEA ♪ 414 00:15:47,090 --> 00:15:48,989 CRYING ♪ ♪ OH, BUT I HAVE A GREAT IDEA ♪ ♪ IF I PRETEND TO TAKE A SIP OF 415 00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:50,791 ♪ OH, BUT I HAVE A GREAT IDEA ♪ ♪ IF I PRETEND TO TAKE A SIP OF MY WATER, I CAN TAKE THE STRAW 416 00:15:50,793 --> 00:15:53,260 ♪ IF I PRETEND TO TAKE A SIP OF MY WATER, I CAN TAKE THE STRAW AND PUT IT IN MY SOUP ♪ 417 00:15:53,262 --> 00:15:55,329 MY WATER, I CAN TAKE THE STRAW AND PUT IT IN MY SOUP ♪ ♪ AND PLANT IT PERFECT. 418 00:15:55,331 --> 00:15:57,665 AND PUT IT IN MY SOUP ♪ ♪ AND PLANT IT PERFECT. THE STRAW IS HITTING BROTH ♪ 419 00:15:57,667 --> 00:15:59,467 ♪ AND PLANT IT PERFECT. THE STRAW IS HITTING BROTH ♪ ♪ AND OH, MY GOD. 420 00:15:59,469 --> 00:16:01,869 THE STRAW IS HITTING BROTH ♪ ♪ AND OH, MY GOD. SHE JUST ASKED ME A QUESTION ♪ 421 00:16:01,871 --> 00:16:03,904 ♪ AND OH, MY GOD. SHE JUST ASKED ME A QUESTION ♪ >> I MEAN, SO WHAT WOULD YOU DO? 422 00:16:03,906 --> 00:16:05,906 SHE JUST ASKED ME A QUESTION ♪ >> I MEAN, SO WHAT WOULD YOU DO? >> I THINK, YEAH, YOU SHOULD GO 423 00:16:05,908 --> 00:16:06,240 >> I MEAN, SO WHAT WOULD YOU DO? >> I THINK, YEAH, YOU SHOULD GO FOR IT. 424 00:16:06,242 --> 00:16:10,177 >> I THINK, YEAH, YOU SHOULD GO FOR IT. >> REPRESENT HERSELF IN COURT? 425 00:16:10,179 --> 00:16:12,279 FOR IT. >> REPRESENT HERSELF IN COURT? >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. 426 00:16:12,281 --> 00:16:14,715 >> REPRESENT HERSELF IN COURT? >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. WOULD YOU MIND IF I HAD A SIP OF 427 00:16:14,717 --> 00:16:15,316 >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. WOULD YOU MIND IF I HAD A SIP OF YOUR WATER? 428 00:16:15,318 --> 00:16:17,985 WOULD YOU MIND IF I HAD A SIP OF YOUR WATER? I FINISHED MINE 429 00:16:17,987 --> 00:16:20,855 YOUR WATER? I FINISHED MINE ♪ HOT DAMN, SHE'S TAKING MY 430 00:16:20,857 --> 00:16:21,255 I FINISHED MINE ♪ HOT DAMN, SHE'S TAKING MY WATER ♪ 431 00:16:21,257 --> 00:16:24,125 ♪ HOT DAMN, SHE'S TAKING MY WATER ♪ ♪ I BETTER HIDE THE STRAW IN MY 432 00:16:24,127 --> 00:16:24,492 WATER ♪ ♪ I BETTER HIDE THE STRAW IN MY SHIRT ♪ 433 00:16:24,494 --> 00:16:28,162 ♪ I BETTER HIDE THE STRAW IN MY SHIRT ♪ ♪ BUT, OH, WHAT IS THIS, SHE'S 434 00:16:28,164 --> 00:16:30,731 SHIRT ♪ ♪ BUT, OH, WHAT IS THIS, SHE'S SOBBING AT LAST ♪ 435 00:16:30,733 --> 00:16:34,735 ♪ BUT, OH, WHAT IS THIS, SHE'S SOBBING AT LAST ♪ ♪ HER HEAD'S IN HER HANDS, CAN'T 436 00:16:34,737 --> 00:16:36,704 SOBBING AT LAST ♪ ♪ HER HEAD'S IN HER HANDS, CAN'T LET THIS MOMENT PASS ♪ 437 00:16:36,706 --> 00:16:43,043 ♪ HER HEAD'S IN HER HANDS, CAN'T LET THIS MOMENT PASS ♪ ♪ GOT TO EAT THIS SOUP ♪ 438 00:16:43,045 --> 00:16:44,779 LET THIS MOMENT PASS ♪ ♪ GOT TO EAT THIS SOUP ♪ >> I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER. 439 00:16:44,781 --> 00:16:46,680 ♪ GOT TO EAT THIS SOUP ♪ >> I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER. THANK YOU GIRLS FOR LETTING ME 440 00:16:46,682 --> 00:16:46,981 >> I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER. THANK YOU GIRLS FOR LETTING ME VENT. 441 00:16:46,983 --> 00:16:49,183 THANK YOU GIRLS FOR LETTING ME VENT. >> OH, MY GOD. 442 00:16:49,185 --> 00:16:51,819 VENT. >> OH, MY GOD. ANY TIME, YOU JUST DO YOU, GIRL. 443 00:16:51,821 --> 00:16:52,119 >> OH, MY GOD. ANY TIME, YOU JUST DO YOU, GIRL. OKAY? 444 00:16:52,121 --> 00:16:53,954 ANY TIME, YOU JUST DO YOU, GIRL. OKAY? >> HOW'S YOUR SOUP? 445 00:16:53,956 --> 00:16:56,023 OKAY? >> HOW'S YOUR SOUP? >> IT IS HOTTER THAN I THOUGHT, 446 00:16:56,025 --> 00:17:01,295 >> HOW'S YOUR SOUP? >> IT IS HOTTER THAN I THOUGHT, BUT I'M GOOD. 447 00:17:01,297 --> 00:17:01,695 >> IT IS HOTTER THAN I THOUGHT, BUT I'M GOOD. [ MUMBLING ] 448 00:17:01,697 --> 00:17:06,667 BUT I'M GOOD. [ MUMBLING ] ♪ GOT TO EAT THIS SOUP ♪ 449 00:17:06,669 --> 00:17:14,975 [ MUMBLING ] ♪ GOT TO EAT THIS SOUP ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 450 00:17:14,977 --> 00:17:17,244 ♪ GOT TO EAT THIS SOUP ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> ARE YOU FEELING TIRED AND 451 00:17:17,246 --> 00:17:18,345 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> ARE YOU FEELING TIRED AND WORN DOWN? 452 00:17:18,347 --> 00:17:20,948 >>> ARE YOU FEELING TIRED AND WORN DOWN? SICK OF THE ENDLESS GRIND AT 453 00:17:20,950 --> 00:17:21,348 WORN DOWN? SICK OF THE ENDLESS GRIND AT WORK? 454 00:17:21,350 --> 00:17:23,150 SICK OF THE ENDLESS GRIND AT WORK? EXHAUSTED BY YOUR FAMILY, 455 00:17:23,152 --> 00:17:25,186 WORK? EXHAUSTED BY YOUR FAMILY, DESPERATE FOR SOME PEACE AND 456 00:17:25,188 --> 00:17:25,519 EXHAUSTED BY YOUR FAMILY, DESPERATE FOR SOME PEACE AND QUIET. 457 00:17:25,521 --> 00:17:27,888 DESPERATE FOR SOME PEACE AND QUIET. >> DANIEL, YOUR KIDS WANT YOU! 458 00:17:27,890 --> 00:17:32,026 QUIET. >> DANIEL, YOUR KIDS WANT YOU! >> THEN ASK YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT 459 00:17:32,028 --> 00:17:32,326 >> DANIEL, YOUR KIDS WANT YOU! >> THEN ASK YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT COVID. 460 00:17:32,328 --> 00:17:33,961 >> THEN ASK YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT COVID. AS SOON AS GETTING COVID, YOU'RE 461 00:17:33,963 --> 00:17:39,900 COVID. AS SOON AS GETTING COVID, YOU'RE GUARANTEED A FIVE AND SOMETIMES 462 00:17:39,902 --> 00:17:40,634 AS SOON AS GETTING COVID, YOU'RE GUARANTEED A FIVE AND SOMETIMES EVEN TEN-DAY VACATION FROM ALL 463 00:17:40,636 --> 00:17:41,168 GUARANTEED A FIVE AND SOMETIMES EVEN TEN-DAY VACATION FROM ALL OF LIFE'S PROBLEMS. 464 00:17:41,170 --> 00:17:42,903 EVEN TEN-DAY VACATION FROM ALL OF LIFE'S PROBLEMS. >> I NEEDED A BREAK, SO MY 465 00:17:42,905 --> 00:17:44,805 OF LIFE'S PROBLEMS. >> I NEEDED A BREAK, SO MY DOCTOR SUGGESTED I GET COVID, 466 00:17:44,807 --> 00:17:46,507 >> I NEEDED A BREAK, SO MY DOCTOR SUGGESTED I GET COVID, AND IT WAS THE GREATEST WEEK OF 467 00:17:46,509 --> 00:17:47,074 DOCTOR SUGGESTED I GET COVID, AND IT WAS THE GREATEST WEEK OF MY LIFE. 468 00:17:47,076 --> 00:17:50,077 AND IT WAS THE GREATEST WEEK OF MY LIFE. ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS WATCH THE 469 00:17:50,079 --> 00:17:52,179 MY LIFE. ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS WATCH THE NETFLIX I WANTED TO WATCH, AND I 470 00:17:52,181 --> 00:17:54,682 ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS WATCH THE NETFLIX I WANTED TO WATCH, AND I WAS FINALLY ABLE TO THANKS TO 471 00:17:54,684 --> 00:17:55,015 NETFLIX I WANTED TO WATCH, AND I WAS FINALLY ABLE TO THANKS TO COVID. 472 00:17:55,017 --> 00:17:57,718 WAS FINALLY ABLE TO THANKS TO COVID. >> AT FIRST I WAS WORRIED ABOUT 473 00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:00,754 COVID. >> AT FIRST I WAS WORRIED ABOUT GETTING COVID, BUT MY DOCTOR 474 00:18:00,756 --> 00:18:01,422 >> AT FIRST I WAS WORRIED ABOUT GETTING COVID, BUT MY DOCTOR ENSURED ME IT WAS OKAY. 475 00:18:01,424 --> 00:18:03,757 GETTING COVID, BUT MY DOCTOR ENSURED ME IT WAS OKAY. >> SIDE EFFECTS OF COVID INCLUDE 476 00:18:03,759 --> 00:18:04,992 ENSURED ME IT WAS OKAY. >> SIDE EFFECTS OF COVID INCLUDE HAVING COVID, WHICH IS STILL 477 00:18:04,994 --> 00:18:08,496 >> SIDE EFFECTS OF COVID INCLUDE HAVING COVID, WHICH IS STILL KIND OF BAD, BUT DOESN'T IT FEEL 478 00:18:08,498 --> 00:18:08,929 HAVING COVID, WHICH IS STILL KIND OF BAD, BUT DOESN'T IT FEEL DIFFERENT NOW? 479 00:18:08,931 --> 00:18:10,764 KIND OF BAD, BUT DOESN'T IT FEEL DIFFERENT NOW? >> I DEFINITELY GOT SICK. 480 00:18:10,766 --> 00:18:13,434 DIFFERENT NOW? >> I DEFINITELY GOT SICK. I ALSO GOT PAID FOR TEN DAYS TO 481 00:18:13,436 --> 00:18:14,969 >> I DEFINITELY GOT SICK. I ALSO GOT PAID FOR TEN DAYS TO NEVER LEAVE THE BLANKET. 482 00:18:14,971 --> 00:18:17,137 I ALSO GOT PAID FOR TEN DAYS TO NEVER LEAVE THE BLANKET. PLUS I GOT TO TELL PEOPLE ABOUT 483 00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:17,938 NEVER LEAVE THE BLANKET. PLUS I GOT TO TELL PEOPLE ABOUT IT AT WORK. 484 00:18:17,940 --> 00:18:20,207 PLUS I GOT TO TELL PEOPLE ABOUT IT AT WORK. IT WAS LIKE I HAD A BAD COLD FOR 485 00:18:20,209 --> 00:18:20,774 IT AT WORK. IT WAS LIKE I HAD A BAD COLD FOR THREE DAYS. 486 00:18:20,776 --> 00:18:22,576 IT WAS LIKE I HAD A BAD COLD FOR THREE DAYS. >> OF COURSE I HAD TO ISOLATE 487 00:18:22,578 --> 00:18:24,278 THREE DAYS. >> OF COURSE I HAD TO ISOLATE FROM MY KIDS BECAUSE I DIDN'T 488 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:25,546 >> OF COURSE I HAD TO ISOLATE FROM MY KIDS BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO GET THEM SICK. 489 00:18:25,548 --> 00:18:26,614 FROM MY KIDS BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO GET THEM SICK. >> WHAT DO THEY EAT? 490 00:18:26,616 --> 00:18:29,350 WANT TO GET THEM SICK. >> WHAT DO THEY EAT? >> I GAVE IT 14 DAYS TO BE EXTRA 491 00:18:29,352 --> 00:18:29,650 >> WHAT DO THEY EAT? >> I GAVE IT 14 DAYS TO BE EXTRA SAFE. 492 00:18:29,652 --> 00:18:33,120 >> I GAVE IT 14 DAYS TO BE EXTRA SAFE. >> FOR AN EXTRA FEE, WE'LL KNOCK 493 00:18:33,122 --> 00:18:34,622 SAFE. >> FOR AN EXTRA FEE, WE'LL KNOCK OUT THE WI-FI NEAR YOUR HOUSE SO 494 00:18:34,624 --> 00:18:35,723 >> FOR AN EXTRA FEE, WE'LL KNOCK OUT THE WI-FI NEAR YOUR HOUSE SO YOU CAN'T DO ANY ZOOM. 495 00:18:35,725 --> 00:18:38,425 OUT THE WI-FI NEAR YOUR HOUSE SO YOU CAN'T DO ANY ZOOM. >> OH, WELL, TOO BAD. 496 00:18:38,427 --> 00:18:41,095 YOU CAN'T DO ANY ZOOM. >> OH, WELL, TOO BAD. >> COVID IS THE PERFECT WAY TO 497 00:18:41,097 --> 00:18:44,932 >> OH, WELL, TOO BAD. >> COVID IS THE PERFECT WAY TO GET OUT OF JURY DUTY, NEIGHBOR'S 498 00:18:44,934 --> 00:18:47,034 >> COVID IS THE PERFECT WAY TO GET OUT OF JURY DUTY, NEIGHBOR'S ADULT BAPTISM, AND HUSBAND'S 499 00:18:47,036 --> 00:18:48,302 GET OUT OF JURY DUTY, NEIGHBOR'S ADULT BAPTISM, AND HUSBAND'S MURDER TRIAL. 500 00:18:48,304 --> 00:18:49,703 ADULT BAPTISM, AND HUSBAND'S MURDER TRIAL. AT THIS POINT, COVID IS A 501 00:18:49,705 --> 00:18:50,871 MURDER TRIAL. AT THIS POINT, COVID IS A TEN-DAY CRUISE, WHICH IS ALSO A 502 00:18:50,873 --> 00:18:52,473 AT THIS POINT, COVID IS A TEN-DAY CRUISE, WHICH IS ALSO A GREAT WAY TO GET IT. 503 00:18:52,475 --> 00:18:54,942 TEN-DAY CRUISE, WHICH IS ALSO A GREAT WAY TO GET IT. >> COVID ISN'T FOR ANYONE. 504 00:18:54,944 --> 00:18:58,779 GREAT WAY TO GET IT. >> COVID ISN'T FOR ANYONE. THAT'S WHY THERE'S THE NEW 505 00:18:58,781 --> 00:19:01,148 >> COVID ISN'T FOR ANYONE. THAT'S WHY THERE'S THE NEW ALWAYS POSITIVE COVID TEST THAT 506 00:19:01,150 --> 00:19:03,384 THAT'S WHY THERE'S THE NEW ALWAYS POSITIVE COVID TEST THAT COME WITH TWO PINK LINES ALREADY 507 00:19:03,386 --> 00:19:03,717 ALWAYS POSITIVE COVID TEST THAT COME WITH TWO PINK LINES ALREADY DRAWN. 508 00:19:03,719 --> 00:19:04,084 COME WITH TWO PINK LINES ALREADY DRAWN. >> AGAIN? 509 00:19:04,086 --> 00:19:06,253 DRAWN. >> AGAIN? >> YOU JUST HAD IT A WEEK AGO. 510 00:19:06,255 --> 00:19:07,888 >> AGAIN? >> YOU JUST HAD IT A WEEK AGO. PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME. 511 00:19:07,890 --> 00:19:09,023 >> YOU JUST HAD IT A WEEK AGO. PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME. >> BECAUSE SOMETIMES THE ONLY 512 00:19:09,025 --> 00:19:11,559 PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME. >> BECAUSE SOMETIMES THE ONLY WAY TO GET MENTALLY HEALTHY IS 513 00:19:11,561 --> 00:19:12,860 >> BECAUSE SOMETIMES THE ONLY WAY TO GET MENTALLY HEALTHY IS TO GET PHYSICALLY SICK. 514 00:19:12,862 --> 00:19:13,994 WAY TO GET MENTALLY HEALTHY IS TO GET PHYSICALLY SICK. >> SURE. 515 00:19:13,996 --> 00:19:16,897 TO GET PHYSICALLY SICK. >> SURE. THERE MIGHT BE LONG-TERM MEMORY 516 00:19:16,899 --> 00:19:19,233 >> SURE. THERE MIGHT BE LONG-TERM MEMORY PROBLEMS, BUT THAT MIGHT BE 517 00:19:19,235 --> 00:19:20,434 THERE MIGHT BE LONG-TERM MEMORY PROBLEMS, BUT THAT MIGHT BE AMAZING BECAUSE THERE'S SO MUCH 518 00:19:20,436 --> 00:19:21,435 PROBLEMS, BUT THAT MIGHT BE AMAZING BECAUSE THERE'S SO MUCH I WANT TO FORGET. 519 00:19:21,437 --> 00:19:23,270 AMAZING BECAUSE THERE'S SO MUCH I WANT TO FORGET. >> MY BRAIN IS ALREADY REALLY 520 00:19:23,272 --> 00:19:23,637 I WANT TO FORGET. >> MY BRAIN IS ALREADY REALLY BAD. 521 00:19:23,639 --> 00:19:25,239 >> MY BRAIN IS ALREADY REALLY BAD. BUT IF I DON'T HAVE TO TALK TO 522 00:19:25,241 --> 00:19:28,375 BAD. BUT IF I DON'T HAVE TO TALK TO PEOPLE IN A WEEK, I'LL TAKE THAT 523 00:19:28,377 --> 00:19:30,144 BUT IF I DON'T HAVE TO TALK TO PEOPLE IN A WEEK, I'LL TAKE THAT DEAL IN A HORSE BEAT. 524 00:19:30,146 --> 00:19:31,579 PEOPLE IN A WEEK, I'LL TAKE THAT DEAL IN A HORSE BEAT. >> YOU MEAN HEART BEAT. 525 00:19:31,581 --> 00:19:33,647 DEAL IN A HORSE BEAT. >> YOU MEAN HEART BEAT. >> EITHER WAY, THANKS COVID. 526 00:19:33,649 --> 00:19:35,482 >> YOU MEAN HEART BEAT. >> EITHER WAY, THANKS COVID. >> THANKS, COVID. 527 00:19:35,484 --> 00:19:37,718 >> EITHER WAY, THANKS COVID. >> THANKS, COVID. >> I THINK I'LL GET COVID AGAIN. 528 00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:38,052 >> THANKS, COVID. >> I THINK I'LL GET COVID AGAIN. TODAY. 529 00:19:38,054 --> 00:19:38,619 >> I THINK I'LL GET COVID AGAIN. TODAY. >> COVID, GO AHEAD. 530 00:19:38,621 --> 00:19:40,054 TODAY. >> COVID, GO AHEAD. YOU DESERVE A BREAK. 531 00:19:40,056 --> 00:19:44,792 >> COVID, GO AHEAD. YOU DESERVE A BREAK. [ APPLAUSE ] 532 00:19:44,794 --> 00:19:46,994 YOU DESERVE A BREAK. [ APPLAUSE ] >>> SO WITH THAT SAID, 533 00:19:46,996 --> 00:19:48,629 [ APPLAUSE ] >>> SO WITH THAT SAID, MR. HUBBARD COULD NOT HAVE BEEN 534 00:19:48,631 --> 00:19:50,397 >>> SO WITH THAT SAID, MR. HUBBARD COULD NOT HAVE BEEN AT THE SCENE OF THE CRIME. 535 00:19:50,399 --> 00:19:51,365 MR. HUBBARD COULD NOT HAVE BEEN AT THE SCENE OF THE CRIME. YOUR WITNESS. 536 00:19:51,367 --> 00:19:53,734 AT THE SCENE OF THE CRIME. YOUR WITNESS. >> THANK YOU, COUNSEL. 537 00:19:53,736 --> 00:19:58,639 YOUR WITNESS. >> THANK YOU, COUNSEL. MOVING ON TO CROSS-EXAMINATION. 538 00:19:58,641 --> 00:20:00,441 >> THANK YOU, COUNSEL. MOVING ON TO CROSS-EXAMINATION. >> SO ON THE NIGHT OF YOUR 539 00:20:00,443 --> 00:20:01,976 MOVING ON TO CROSS-EXAMINATION. >> SO ON THE NIGHT OF YOUR WIFE'S DISAPPEARANCE, WHAT DID 540 00:20:01,978 --> 00:20:02,676 >> SO ON THE NIGHT OF YOUR WIFE'S DISAPPEARANCE, WHAT DID YOU DO? 541 00:20:02,678 --> 00:20:04,511 WIFE'S DISAPPEARANCE, WHAT DID YOU DO? >> I CALLED THE POLICE. 542 00:20:04,513 --> 00:20:05,212 YOU DO? >> I CALLED THE POLICE. >> REALLY? 543 00:20:05,214 --> 00:20:07,748 >> I CALLED THE POLICE. >> REALLY? BECAUSE RECORDS SHOW THAT YOU 544 00:20:07,750 --> 00:20:08,515 >> REALLY? BECAUSE RECORDS SHOW THAT YOU DID NOT. 545 00:20:08,517 --> 00:20:10,851 BECAUSE RECORDS SHOW THAT YOU DID NOT. AND IN FACT, THE POLICE DIDN'T 546 00:20:10,853 --> 00:20:13,354 DID NOT. AND IN FACT, THE POLICE DIDN'T SHOW UP UNTIL YOUR NEIGHBORS 547 00:20:13,356 --> 00:20:13,687 AND IN FACT, THE POLICE DIDN'T SHOW UP UNTIL YOUR NEIGHBORS CALLED. 548 00:20:13,689 --> 00:20:14,688 SHOW UP UNTIL YOUR NEIGHBORS CALLED. >> OH! 549 00:20:14,690 --> 00:20:15,089 CALLED. >> OH! >> UH-HUH. 550 00:20:15,091 --> 00:20:17,825 >> OH! >> UH-HUH. >> AND WHEN THE FORENSIC TEAM 551 00:20:17,827 --> 00:20:19,460 >> UH-HUH. >> AND WHEN THE FORENSIC TEAM EXAMINED YOUR CLOTHING, THEY 552 00:20:19,462 --> 00:20:23,464 >> AND WHEN THE FORENSIC TEAM EXAMINED YOUR CLOTHING, THEY FOUND TRACES OF BLOOD. 553 00:20:23,466 --> 00:20:24,832 EXAMINED YOUR CLOTHING, THEY FOUND TRACES OF BLOOD. >> ORDER IN THE COURT. 554 00:20:24,834 --> 00:20:27,368 FOUND TRACES OF BLOOD. >> ORDER IN THE COURT. WE DON'T NEED ANY VOCAL 555 00:20:27,370 --> 00:20:28,002 >> ORDER IN THE COURT. WE DON'T NEED ANY VOCAL REACTIONS FROM THE JURY. 556 00:20:28,004 --> 00:20:29,603 WE DON'T NEED ANY VOCAL REACTIONS FROM THE JURY. >> FROM US? 557 00:20:29,605 --> 00:20:30,704 REACTIONS FROM THE JURY. >> FROM US? >> SORRY. 558 00:20:30,706 --> 00:20:32,740 >> FROM US? >> SORRY. WE JUST DID NOT EXPECT TRACES OF 559 00:20:32,742 --> 00:20:33,073 >> SORRY. WE JUST DID NOT EXPECT TRACES OF BLOOD. 560 00:20:33,075 --> 00:20:34,708 WE JUST DID NOT EXPECT TRACES OF BLOOD. >> PROSECUTION, THE FLOOR IS 561 00:20:34,710 --> 00:20:35,042 BLOOD. >> PROSECUTION, THE FLOOR IS YOURS. 562 00:20:35,044 --> 00:20:36,477 >> PROSECUTION, THE FLOOR IS YOURS. >> PER THE FORENSIC 563 00:20:36,479 --> 00:20:38,579 YOURS. >> PER THE FORENSIC INVESTIGATION, THE VICTIM WAS 564 00:20:38,581 --> 00:20:40,648 >> PER THE FORENSIC INVESTIGATION, THE VICTIM WAS FOUND WITH MULTIPLE LACERATIONS 565 00:20:40,650 --> 00:20:42,483 INVESTIGATION, THE VICTIM WAS FOUND WITH MULTIPLE LACERATIONS TO HER ABDOMEN. 566 00:20:42,485 --> 00:20:44,451 FOUND WITH MULTIPLE LACERATIONS TO HER ABDOMEN. >> OH, MY GOD! 567 00:20:44,453 --> 00:20:46,420 TO HER ABDOMEN. >> OH, MY GOD! >> DO WE NEED TO TAKE A RECESS. 568 00:20:46,422 --> 00:20:47,921 >> OH, MY GOD! >> DO WE NEED TO TAKE A RECESS. >> IT WAS JUST GETTING GOOD. 569 00:20:47,923 --> 00:20:50,090 >> DO WE NEED TO TAKE A RECESS. >> IT WAS JUST GETTING GOOD. >> I'M SERIOUSLY AT THE EDGE OF 570 00:20:50,092 --> 00:20:51,392 >> IT WAS JUST GETTING GOOD. >> I'M SERIOUSLY AT THE EDGE OF MY SHEET. 571 00:20:51,394 --> 00:20:51,825 >> I'M SERIOUSLY AT THE EDGE OF MY SHEET. I'M SHAKING. 572 00:20:51,827 --> 00:20:54,094 MY SHEET. I'M SHAKING. >> MY HEART IS BEATING SO FAST 573 00:20:54,096 --> 00:20:56,263 I'M SHAKING. >> MY HEART IS BEATING SO FAST MY APPLE WATCH THINKS I'M 574 00:20:56,265 --> 00:20:56,730 >> MY HEART IS BEATING SO FAST MY APPLE WATCH THINKS I'M GETTING STEPS. 575 00:20:56,732 --> 00:20:58,432 MY APPLE WATCH THINKS I'M GETTING STEPS. >> ORDER IN THE COURT, OR I WILL 576 00:20:58,434 --> 00:20:59,700 GETTING STEPS. >> ORDER IN THE COURT, OR I WILL HOLD YOU IN CONTEMPT. 577 00:20:59,702 --> 00:21:00,968 >> ORDER IN THE COURT, OR I WILL HOLD YOU IN CONTEMPT. >> WE HEAR THAT. 578 00:21:00,970 --> 00:21:03,604 HOLD YOU IN CONTEMPT. >> WE HEAR THAT. >> GUYS, GUYS. 579 00:21:03,606 --> 00:21:04,705 >> WE HEAR THAT. >> GUYS, GUYS. >> KEEP IT DOWN. 580 00:21:04,707 --> 00:21:11,078 >> GUYS, GUYS. >> KEEP IT DOWN. >> PROSECUTION, PLEASE, ON TO 581 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:11,812 >> KEEP IT DOWN. >> PROSECUTION, PLEASE, ON TO YOUR NEXT LINE OF QUESTIONING. 582 00:21:11,814 --> 00:21:12,546 >> PROSECUTION, PLEASE, ON TO YOUR NEXT LINE OF QUESTIONING. >> MR. HUBBARD, YOU CLAIM YOU 583 00:21:12,548 --> 00:21:15,749 YOUR NEXT LINE OF QUESTIONING. >> MR. HUBBARD, YOU CLAIM YOU WERE AT THE OFFICE ON THE 14th, 584 00:21:15,751 --> 00:21:18,419 >> MR. HUBBARD, YOU CLAIM YOU WERE AT THE OFFICE ON THE 14th, BUT AS THE DEFENSE WAS SAYING -- 585 00:21:18,421 --> 00:21:21,055 WERE AT THE OFFICE ON THE 14th, BUT AS THE DEFENSE WAS SAYING -- I'M SORRY, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS 586 00:21:21,057 --> 00:21:21,755 BUT AS THE DEFENSE WAS SAYING -- I'M SORRY, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING NOW? 587 00:21:21,757 --> 00:21:25,726 I'M SORRY, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING NOW? >> POSING FOR THE SKETCH ARTIST. 588 00:21:25,728 --> 00:21:28,429 DOING NOW? >> POSING FOR THE SKETCH ARTIST. >> HOW MUCH FOR THE DEATH 589 00:21:28,431 --> 00:21:28,762 >> POSING FOR THE SKETCH ARTIST. >> HOW MUCH FOR THE DEATH PENALTY? 590 00:21:28,764 --> 00:21:31,065 >> HOW MUCH FOR THE DEATH PENALTY? >> NOW THE MURDER IS YELLING AT 591 00:21:31,067 --> 00:21:31,331 PENALTY? >> NOW THE MURDER IS YELLING AT US. 592 00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:33,967 >> NOW THE MURDER IS YELLING AT US. >> I'M LIKE CRAZY TRIGGERED. 593 00:21:33,969 --> 00:21:35,769 US. >> I'M LIKE CRAZY TRIGGERED. CAN I LIE DOWN AND LOOK AT MY 594 00:21:35,771 --> 00:21:36,570 >> I'M LIKE CRAZY TRIGGERED. CAN I LIE DOWN AND LOOK AT MY PHONE FOR A WHILE. 595 00:21:36,572 --> 00:21:38,872 CAN I LIE DOWN AND LOOK AT MY PHONE FOR A WHILE. >> JURORS, THIS IS YOUR FINAL 596 00:21:38,874 --> 00:21:39,239 PHONE FOR A WHILE. >> JURORS, THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING. 597 00:21:39,241 --> 00:21:39,573 >> JURORS, THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING. >> OKAY. 598 00:21:39,575 --> 00:21:41,341 WARNING. >> OKAY. NOW THE JUDGE IS TRYING TO 599 00:21:41,343 --> 00:21:42,376 >> OKAY. NOW THE JUDGE IS TRYING TO SILENCE THREE WOMEN OF COLOR. 600 00:21:42,378 --> 00:21:43,444 NOW THE JUDGE IS TRYING TO SILENCE THREE WOMEN OF COLOR. >> OKAY. 601 00:21:43,446 --> 00:21:44,845 SILENCE THREE WOMEN OF COLOR. >> OKAY. CAN WE PLEASE MOVE ON? 602 00:21:44,847 --> 00:21:46,113 >> OKAY. CAN WE PLEASE MOVE ON? AS I WAS SAYING -- 603 00:21:46,115 --> 00:21:48,015 CAN WE PLEASE MOVE ON? AS I WAS SAYING -- >> OH, MY GOD. 604 00:21:48,017 --> 00:21:48,315 AS I WAS SAYING -- >> OH, MY GOD. WAIT. 605 00:21:48,317 --> 00:21:49,917 >> OH, MY GOD. WAIT. I'M LITERALLY SO BORED. 606 00:21:49,919 --> 00:21:51,685 WAIT. I'M LITERALLY SO BORED. >> CAN WE JUST LIKE PUT ON MUSIC 607 00:21:51,687 --> 00:21:54,755 I'M LITERALLY SO BORED. >> CAN WE JUST LIKE PUT ON MUSIC OR SOMETHING? 608 00:21:54,757 --> 00:21:55,589 >> CAN WE JUST LIKE PUT ON MUSIC OR SOMETHING? >> MIDNIGHT! 609 00:21:55,591 --> 00:22:00,060 OR SOMETHING? >> MIDNIGHT! ♪ MIDNIGHT, I STAY UP, I'M 610 00:22:00,062 --> 00:22:00,961 >> MIDNIGHT! ♪ MIDNIGHT, I STAY UP, I'M TAYLOR SWIFT ♪ 611 00:22:00,963 --> 00:22:03,964 ♪ MIDNIGHT, I STAY UP, I'M TAYLOR SWIFT ♪ >> THAT IS NOT A SONG FROM 612 00:22:03,966 --> 00:22:04,331 TAYLOR SWIFT ♪ >> THAT IS NOT A SONG FROM MIDNIGHT. 613 00:22:04,333 --> 00:22:07,134 >> THAT IS NOT A SONG FROM MIDNIGHT. >> I JUST NEED TO FINISH MY 614 00:22:07,136 --> 00:22:09,069 MIDNIGHT. >> I JUST NEED TO FINISH MY CROSS EXAM. 615 00:22:09,071 --> 00:22:11,772 >> I JUST NEED TO FINISH MY CROSS EXAM. MR. HUBBARD, HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN 616 00:22:11,774 --> 00:22:13,774 CROSS EXAM. MR. HUBBARD, HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THE STEAK KNIFE THAT WAS MISSING 617 00:22:13,776 --> 00:22:14,608 MR. HUBBARD, HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THE STEAK KNIFE THAT WAS MISSING FROM YOUR SET. 618 00:22:14,610 --> 00:22:16,410 THE STEAK KNIFE THAT WAS MISSING FROM YOUR SET. >> IT HAD BEEN MISSING SINCE WE 619 00:22:16,412 --> 00:22:17,111 FROM YOUR SET. >> IT HAD BEEN MISSING SINCE WE MOVED IN. 620 00:22:17,113 --> 00:22:17,578 >> IT HAD BEEN MISSING SINCE WE MOVED IN. >> REALLY? 621 00:22:17,580 --> 00:22:21,248 MOVED IN. >> REALLY? BECAUSE IN A STORM DRAIN NEARBY, 622 00:22:21,250 --> 00:22:23,150 >> REALLY? BECAUSE IN A STORM DRAIN NEARBY, DETECTIVES FOUND THIS SUPPOSEDLY 623 00:22:23,152 --> 00:22:24,318 BECAUSE IN A STORM DRAIN NEARBY, DETECTIVES FOUND THIS SUPPOSEDLY MISSING KNIFE. 624 00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:26,286 DETECTIVES FOUND THIS SUPPOSEDLY MISSING KNIFE. BAILIFF, SHOW THE COURT EXHIBIT 625 00:22:26,288 --> 00:22:26,553 MISSING KNIFE. BAILIFF, SHOW THE COURT EXHIBIT B. 626 00:22:26,555 --> 00:22:27,721 BAILIFF, SHOW THE COURT EXHIBIT B. >> IT'S NOT IN HERE. 627 00:22:27,723 --> 00:22:29,256 B. >> IT'S NOT IN HERE. >> OH, MY GOD. 628 00:22:29,258 --> 00:22:30,624 >> IT'S NOT IN HERE. >> OH, MY GOD. DID YOU NEED THIS? 629 00:22:30,626 --> 00:22:32,059 >> OH, MY GOD. DID YOU NEED THIS? I'M SORRY. 630 00:22:32,061 --> 00:22:33,227 DID YOU NEED THIS? I'M SORRY. THIS CHICKEN IS TOUGH. 631 00:22:33,229 --> 00:22:33,660 I'M SORRY. THIS CHICKEN IS TOUGH. >> ALL RIGHT. 632 00:22:33,662 --> 00:22:36,163 THIS CHICKEN IS TOUGH. >> ALL RIGHT. THAT IS IT. 633 00:22:36,165 --> 00:22:38,799 >> ALL RIGHT. THAT IS IT. YOU THREE ARE IN CONTEMPT OF 634 00:22:38,801 --> 00:22:40,501 THAT IS IT. YOU THREE ARE IN CONTEMPT OF COURT FOR DISORDERLY CONDUCT. 635 00:22:40,503 --> 00:22:42,836 YOU THREE ARE IN CONTEMPT OF COURT FOR DISORDERLY CONDUCT. >> WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 636 00:22:42,838 --> 00:22:43,137 COURT FOR DISORDERLY CONDUCT. >> WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. SORRY. 637 00:22:43,139 --> 00:22:45,672 >> WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. SORRY. BUT REAL QUICK, WHO AM I? 638 00:22:45,674 --> 00:22:46,640 SORRY. BUT REAL QUICK, WHO AM I? >> YOU'RE HIM! 639 00:22:46,642 --> 00:22:49,009 BUT REAL QUICK, WHO AM I? >> YOU'RE HIM! >> THE MURDER! 640 00:22:49,011 --> 00:22:50,544 >> YOU'RE HIM! >> THE MURDER! >> OKAY, OKAY. 641 00:22:50,546 --> 00:22:51,779 >> THE MURDER! >> OKAY, OKAY. AND WHO AM I? 642 00:22:51,781 --> 00:22:52,946 >> OKAY, OKAY. AND WHO AM I? WHO AM I? 643 00:22:52,948 --> 00:22:57,351 AND WHO AM I? WHO AM I? >> OH, YOU THE DEAD WIFE. 644 00:22:57,353 --> 00:23:01,021 WHO AM I? >> OH, YOU THE DEAD WIFE. >> YES. 645 00:23:01,023 --> 00:23:03,757 >> OH, YOU THE DEAD WIFE. >> YES. >> YOUR HONOR, SHE'S USING THE 646 00:23:03,759 --> 00:23:06,426 >> YES. >> YOUR HONOR, SHE'S USING THE MURDER KNIFE TO CUT UP THE 647 00:23:06,428 --> 00:23:06,794 >> YOUR HONOR, SHE'S USING THE MURDER KNIFE TO CUT UP THE CHICKEN. 648 00:23:06,796 --> 00:23:07,361 MURDER KNIFE TO CUT UP THE CHICKEN. >> RELAX. 649 00:23:07,363 --> 00:23:09,163 CHICKEN. >> RELAX. I CAN'T EVEN CUT THE CHICKEN 650 00:23:09,165 --> 00:23:09,830 >> RELAX. I CAN'T EVEN CUT THE CHICKEN ANYWAY. 651 00:23:09,832 --> 00:23:10,397 I CAN'T EVEN CUT THE CHICKEN ANYWAY. WAIT A MINUTE. 652 00:23:10,399 --> 00:23:12,566 ANYWAY. WAIT A MINUTE. >> THE LAWYER LADY IS SAYING HE 653 00:23:12,568 --> 00:23:13,967 WAIT A MINUTE. >> THE LAWYER LADY IS SAYING HE KILLED HER WITH THAT KNIFE. 654 00:23:13,969 --> 00:23:16,870 >> THE LAWYER LADY IS SAYING HE KILLED HER WITH THAT KNIFE. >> BUT THE KNIFE ISN'T EVEN 655 00:23:16,872 --> 00:23:17,371 KILLED HER WITH THAT KNIFE. >> BUT THE KNIFE ISN'T EVEN SHARP ENOUGH -- 656 00:23:17,373 --> 00:23:19,072 >> BUT THE KNIFE ISN'T EVEN SHARP ENOUGH -- >> TO CUT THROUGH HER CHICKEN. 657 00:23:19,074 --> 00:23:22,442 SHARP ENOUGH -- >> TO CUT THROUGH HER CHICKEN. >> WHICH MEANS -- 658 00:23:22,444 --> 00:23:23,977 >> TO CUT THROUGH HER CHICKEN. >> WHICH MEANS -- >> HE'S INNOCENT! 659 00:23:23,979 --> 00:23:26,713 >> WHICH MEANS -- >> HE'S INNOCENT! >> THAT'S WHAT I HAVE BEEN 660 00:23:26,715 --> 00:23:27,047 >> HE'S INNOCENT! >> THAT'S WHAT I HAVE BEEN SAYING! 661 00:23:27,049 --> 00:23:34,888 >> THAT'S WHAT I HAVE BEEN SAYING! >> YEA! 662 00:23:34,890 --> 00:23:35,289 SAYING! >> YEA! [ APPLAUSE ] 663 00:23:35,291 --> 00:23:38,025 >> YEA! [ APPLAUSE ] >>> NEXT WEEK, DAVE 664 00:24:00,615 --> 00:24:06,954 >>> ON OCTOBER 27, ELON MUSK COMPLETED HIS $44 BILLION PURCHASE OF TWITTER. 665 00:24:06,956 --> 00:24:10,524 COMPLETED HIS $44 BILLION PURCHASE OF TWITTER. ON OCTOBER 28, MUSK PUBLICLY 666 00:24:10,526 --> 00:24:14,428 PURCHASE OF TWITTER. ON OCTOBER 28, MUSK PUBLICLY ANNOUNCED A CONTENT MODERATOR TO 667 00:24:14,430 --> 00:24:19,333 ON OCTOBER 28, MUSK PUBLICLY ANNOUNCED A CONTENT MODERATOR TO REVIEW PREVIOUSLY DISRUPTED 668 00:24:19,335 --> 00:24:19,700 ANNOUNCED A CONTENT MODERATOR TO REVIEW PREVIOUSLY DISRUPTED ACCOUNTS. 669 00:24:19,702 --> 00:24:21,034 REVIEW PREVIOUSLY DISRUPTED ACCOUNTS. WE NOW GO LIVE. 670 00:24:21,036 --> 00:24:22,803 ACCOUNTS. WE NOW GO LIVE. >> GOOD MORNING, EVEN. 671 00:24:22,805 --> 00:24:24,771 WE NOW GO LIVE. >> GOOD MORNING, EVEN. TODAY WE WILL DECIDE IF 672 00:24:24,773 --> 00:24:26,874 >> GOOD MORNING, EVEN. TODAY WE WILL DECIDE IF SUSPENDED ACCOUNTS WILL BE LET 673 00:24:26,876 --> 00:24:27,975 TODAY WE WILL DECIDE IF SUSPENDED ACCOUNTS WILL BE LET BACK ON TWITTER. 674 00:24:27,977 --> 00:24:30,310 SUSPENDED ACCOUNTS WILL BE LET BACK ON TWITTER. >> WHO BETTER TO DO IT THAN US, 675 00:24:30,312 --> 00:24:32,512 BACK ON TWITTER. >> WHO BETTER TO DO IT THAN US, THE ONLY TWO TWITTER EMPLOYEES 676 00:24:32,514 --> 00:24:34,081 >> WHO BETTER TO DO IT THAN US, THE ONLY TWO TWITTER EMPLOYEES WHO HAVEN'T BEEN LAID OFF. 677 00:24:34,083 --> 00:24:34,882 THE ONLY TWO TWITTER EMPLOYEES WHO HAVEN'T BEEN LAID OFF. >> YET. 678 00:24:34,884 --> 00:24:38,352 WHO HAVEN'T BEEN LAID OFF. >> YET. >> LET'S BEGIN OUR FIRST FAN 679 00:24:38,354 --> 00:24:38,685 >> YET. >> LET'S BEGIN OUR FIRST FAN ACCOUNT. 680 00:24:38,687 --> 00:24:39,152 >> LET'S BEGIN OUR FIRST FAN ACCOUNT. SAY YOUR NAME. 681 00:24:39,154 --> 00:24:39,553 ACCOUNT. SAY YOUR NAME. >> YOU WISH. 682 00:24:39,555 --> 00:24:42,456 SAY YOUR NAME. >> YOU WISH. BUT HERE'S WHAT I WILL TELL YOU. 683 00:24:42,458 --> 00:24:45,092 >> YOU WISH. BUT HERE'S WHAT I WILL TELL YOU. THE COVID PANDEMIC WAS CREATED 684 00:24:45,094 --> 00:24:47,494 BUT HERE'S WHAT I WILL TELL YOU. THE COVID PANDEMIC WAS CREATED BY BIG PHARMA TO SILENCE ME. 685 00:24:47,496 --> 00:24:49,630 THE COVID PANDEMIC WAS CREATED BY BIG PHARMA TO SILENCE ME. EVERYBODY TRIES TO SILENCE ME. 686 00:24:49,632 --> 00:24:51,832 BY BIG PHARMA TO SILENCE ME. EVERYBODY TRIES TO SILENCE ME. MA'AM, PLEASE SPEAK AT A LOWER 687 00:24:51,834 --> 00:24:52,165 EVERYBODY TRIES TO SILENCE ME. MA'AM, PLEASE SPEAK AT A LOWER VOLUME. 688 00:24:52,167 --> 00:24:53,066 MA'AM, PLEASE SPEAK AT A LOWER VOLUME. I'M SORRY. 689 00:24:53,068 --> 00:24:58,238 VOLUME. I'M SORRY. AM I TOO LOUD FOR YOUR PRECIOUS 690 00:24:58,240 --> 00:24:58,805 I'M SORRY. AM I TOO LOUD FOR YOUR PRECIOUS INTENSIVE CARE UNITS. 691 00:24:58,807 --> 00:25:02,109 AM I TOO LOUD FOR YOUR PRECIOUS INTENSIVE CARE UNITS. YOU AREN'T EVEN SICK. 692 00:25:02,111 --> 00:25:06,546 INTENSIVE CARE UNITS. YOU AREN'T EVEN SICK. >> WHY WERE YOU BANNED? 693 00:25:06,548 --> 00:25:06,847 YOU AREN'T EVEN SICK. >> WHY WERE YOU BANNED? FINE. 694 00:25:06,849 --> 00:25:09,049 >> WHY WERE YOU BANNED? FINE. WE HAVE BANNED TWITTER USER 695 00:25:09,051 --> 00:25:09,950 FINE. WE HAVE BANNED TWITTER USER ALPHA DOG OF WAR. 696 00:25:09,952 --> 00:25:10,784 WE HAVE BANNED TWITTER USER ALPHA DOG OF WAR. >> A VETERAN. 697 00:25:10,786 --> 00:25:13,053 ALPHA DOG OF WAR. >> A VETERAN. >> IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING, YES, 698 00:25:13,055 --> 00:25:16,456 >> A VETERAN. >> IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING, YES, I SERVED HONORABLY IN CALL OF 699 00:25:16,458 --> 00:25:18,091 >> IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING, YES, I SERVED HONORABLY IN CALL OF DUTY, MODERN WARFARE TWO. 700 00:25:18,093 --> 00:25:20,527 I SERVED HONORABLY IN CALL OF DUTY, MODERN WARFARE TWO. >> AND WHY WERE YOU BANNED? 701 00:25:20,529 --> 00:25:24,264 DUTY, MODERN WARFARE TWO. >> AND WHY WERE YOU BANNED? >> ONE OF MY OWN SQUAD MATES 702 00:25:24,266 --> 00:25:25,933 >> AND WHY WERE YOU BANNED? >> ONE OF MY OWN SQUAD MATES KILLED ME AND LAUGHED ABOUT IT. 703 00:25:25,935 --> 00:25:29,269 >> ONE OF MY OWN SQUAD MATES KILLED ME AND LAUGHED ABOUT IT. I POSTED HIS REAL NAME, HOME 704 00:25:29,271 --> 00:25:31,438 KILLED ME AND LAUGHED ABOUT IT. I POSTED HIS REAL NAME, HOME ADDRESS, AND MIDDLE SCHOOL 705 00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:33,674 I POSTED HIS REAL NAME, HOME ADDRESS, AND MIDDLE SCHOOL SCHEDULE AND SAID, TWITTER, DO 706 00:25:33,676 --> 00:25:34,107 ADDRESS, AND MIDDLE SCHOOL SCHEDULE AND SAID, TWITTER, DO YOUR THING. 707 00:25:34,109 --> 00:25:37,177 SCHEDULE AND SAID, TWITTER, DO YOUR THING. >> I MEAN, SOUNDS HARMLESS, 708 00:25:37,179 --> 00:25:37,477 YOUR THING. >> I MEAN, SOUNDS HARMLESS, RIGHT? 709 00:25:37,479 --> 00:25:37,778 >> I MEAN, SOUNDS HARMLESS, RIGHT? NEXT. 710 00:25:37,780 --> 00:25:38,278 RIGHT? NEXT. >> HI. 711 00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:39,246 NEXT. >> HI. OH, MY GOD. 712 00:25:39,248 --> 00:25:41,048 >> HI. OH, MY GOD. YOUR PROFILE IS SO FUNNY. 713 00:25:41,050 --> 00:25:44,885 OH, MY GOD. YOUR PROFILE IS SO FUNNY. I LOVE FUNNY GUYS. 714 00:25:44,887 --> 00:25:45,719 YOUR PROFILE IS SO FUNNY. I LOVE FUNNY GUYS. >> WELL. 715 00:25:45,721 --> 00:25:46,653 I LOVE FUNNY GUYS. >> WELL. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 716 00:25:46,655 --> 00:25:48,789 >> WELL. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. BUT WHY WERE YOU BANNED? 717 00:25:48,791 --> 00:25:50,657 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. BUT WHY WERE YOU BANNED? >> THEY SAID I WAS A BAT, WHICH 718 00:25:50,659 --> 00:25:51,692 BUT WHY WERE YOU BANNED? >> THEY SAID I WAS A BAT, WHICH IS CRAZY. 719 00:25:51,694 --> 00:25:53,994 >> THEY SAID I WAS A BAT, WHICH IS CRAZY. I'M ALL WOMAN, AND I LOVE FUNNY 720 00:25:53,996 --> 00:25:56,930 IS CRAZY. I'M ALL WOMAN, AND I LOVE FUNNY GUYS LIKE YOU. 721 00:25:56,932 --> 00:25:59,132 I'M ALL WOMAN, AND I LOVE FUNNY GUYS LIKE YOU. IN FACT, YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT 722 00:25:59,134 --> 00:26:01,268 GUYS LIKE YOU. IN FACT, YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT THIS WEBSITE WHERE ME AND SOME 723 00:26:01,270 --> 00:26:03,103 IN FACT, YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT THIS WEBSITE WHERE ME AND SOME OTHER GIRLS HANG OUT AND MEET 724 00:26:03,105 --> 00:26:11,812 THIS WEBSITE WHERE ME AND SOME OTHER GIRLS HANG OUT AND MEET CUTE GUYS. 725 00:26:11,814 --> 00:26:12,779 OTHER GIRLS HANG OUT AND MEET CUTE GUYS. WWW.SEX PALACE.BIT SCAMS.IRAQ. 726 00:26:12,781 --> 00:26:14,448 CUTE GUYS. WWW.SEX PALACE.BIT SCAMS.IRAQ. >> SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. 727 00:26:14,450 --> 00:26:15,682 WWW.SEX PALACE.BIT SCAMS.IRAQ. >> SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. >> OH, MY GOD. 728 00:26:15,684 --> 00:26:16,717 >> SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. >> OH, MY GOD. YOU'RE SO FUNNY. 729 00:26:16,719 --> 00:26:19,920 >> OH, MY GOD. YOU'RE SO FUNNY. I BET YOU HAVE AN AWESOME SOCIAL 730 00:26:19,922 --> 00:26:20,420 YOU'RE SO FUNNY. I BET YOU HAVE AN AWESOME SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER. 731 00:26:20,422 --> 00:26:21,355 I BET YOU HAVE AN AWESOME SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER. >> NAH. 732 00:26:21,357 --> 00:26:23,223 SECURITY NUMBER. >> NAH. IT'S NOTHING CRAZY. 733 00:26:23,225 --> 00:26:26,626 >> NAH. IT'S NOTHING CRAZY. IT'S JUST 043 -- 734 00:26:26,628 --> 00:26:26,994 IT'S NOTHING CRAZY. IT'S JUST 043 -- >> NO, NO. 735 00:26:26,996 --> 00:26:27,761 IT'S JUST 043 -- >> NO, NO. DON'T TELL HER. 736 00:26:27,763 --> 00:26:29,162 >> NO, NO. DON'T TELL HER. >> WHY NOT? 737 00:26:29,164 --> 00:26:29,596 DON'T TELL HER. >> WHY NOT? WE VIBING. 738 00:26:29,598 --> 00:26:30,831 >> WHY NOT? WE VIBING. >> WHO'S NEXT? 739 00:26:30,833 --> 00:26:31,898 WE VIBING. >> WHO'S NEXT? >> WHAT'S GOOD? 740 00:26:31,900 --> 00:26:38,805 >> WHO'S NEXT? >> WHAT'S GOOD? I'M HERE ON BEHALF OF BLACK 741 00:26:38,807 --> 00:26:39,539 >> WHAT'S GOOD? I'M HERE ON BEHALF OF BLACK TWITTER, AND WE HEARD MUSK WAS 742 00:26:39,541 --> 00:26:41,975 I'M HERE ON BEHALF OF BLACK TWITTER, AND WE HEARD MUSK WAS GOING TO CHARGE US $8 TO USE 743 00:26:41,977 --> 00:26:44,945 TWITTER, AND WE HEARD MUSK WAS GOING TO CHARGE US $8 TO USE TWITTER, AND WE SAY, NAH DOG. 744 00:26:44,947 --> 00:26:47,614 GOING TO CHARGE US $8 TO USE TWITTER, AND WE SAY, NAH DOG. WE GOING TO RUN OUR AS OVER TO 745 00:26:47,616 --> 00:26:50,384 TWITTER, AND WE SAY, NAH DOG. WE GOING TO RUN OUR AS OVER TO MY SPACE AND GET THAT POPPING 746 00:26:50,386 --> 00:26:50,717 WE GOING TO RUN OUR AS OVER TO MY SPACE AND GET THAT POPPING AGAIN. 747 00:26:50,719 --> 00:26:51,251 MY SPACE AND GET THAT POPPING AGAIN. >> NOTED. 748 00:26:51,253 --> 00:26:52,586 AGAIN. >> NOTED. I WILL SEE YOU THERE. 749 00:26:52,588 --> 00:26:53,854 >> NOTED. I WILL SEE YOU THERE. NEXT ACCOUNT. 750 00:26:53,856 --> 00:26:55,055 I WILL SEE YOU THERE. NEXT ACCOUNT. OH, MY GOD. 751 00:26:55,057 --> 00:26:55,389 NEXT ACCOUNT. OH, MY GOD. HELLO. 752 00:26:55,391 --> 00:26:55,989 OH, MY GOD. HELLO. >> THAT'S RIGHT. 753 00:26:55,991 --> 00:26:57,724 HELLO. >> THAT'S RIGHT. IT'S ME DONALD TRUMP. 754 00:26:57,726 --> 00:26:59,393 >> THAT'S RIGHT. IT'S ME DONALD TRUMP. JUST JOHN, NOT JONATHAN. 755 00:26:59,395 --> 00:27:02,329 IT'S ME DONALD TRUMP. JUST JOHN, NOT JONATHAN. BUT I KNOW MANY JONATHANS, AND I 756 00:27:02,331 --> 00:27:04,064 JUST JOHN, NOT JONATHAN. BUT I KNOW MANY JONATHANS, AND I REPRESENT ALL OF THEM. 757 00:27:04,066 --> 00:27:07,167 BUT I KNOW MANY JONATHANS, AND I REPRESENT ALL OF THEM. NO MORE THAN JTT HIMSELF, 758 00:27:07,169 --> 00:27:08,935 REPRESENT ALL OF THEM. NO MORE THAN JTT HIMSELF, JONATHAN TAYLOR THOMAS WHO IS A 759 00:27:08,937 --> 00:27:10,203 NO MORE THAN JTT HIMSELF, JONATHAN TAYLOR THOMAS WHO IS A PERSONAL FRIEND OF MINE. 760 00:27:10,205 --> 00:27:12,606 JONATHAN TAYLOR THOMAS WHO IS A PERSONAL FRIEND OF MINE. I SAW HIM ON HOME IMPROVEMENT, 761 00:27:12,608 --> 00:27:15,609 PERSONAL FRIEND OF MINE. I SAW HIM ON HOME IMPROVEMENT, AND I SAID THAT KID IS GOING TO 762 00:27:15,611 --> 00:27:17,244 I SAW HIM ON HOME IMPROVEMENT, AND I SAID THAT KID IS GOING TO BE A STAR, AND HE WAS FOR A VERY 763 00:27:17,246 --> 00:27:18,345 AND I SAID THAT KID IS GOING TO BE A STAR, AND HE WAS FOR A VERY BRIEF TIME. 764 00:27:18,347 --> 00:27:22,916 BE A STAR, AND HE WAS FOR A VERY BRIEF TIME. BUT JTT WASN'T VERY NICE TO 765 00:27:22,918 --> 00:27:24,651 BRIEF TIME. BUT JTT WASN'T VERY NICE TO CHEVY CHASE IN MAN OF THE HOUSE, 766 00:27:24,653 --> 00:27:25,352 BUT JTT WASN'T VERY NICE TO CHEVY CHASE IN MAN OF THE HOUSE, WAS HE? 767 00:27:25,354 --> 00:27:27,454 CHEVY CHASE IN MAN OF THE HOUSE, WAS HE? WON'T BE BACK FOR A REBOOT. 768 00:27:27,456 --> 00:27:28,121 WAS HE? WON'T BE BACK FOR A REBOOT. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? 769 00:27:28,123 --> 00:27:29,089 WON'T BE BACK FOR A REBOOT. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? >> SURE. 770 00:27:29,091 --> 00:27:32,459 CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? >> SURE. WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE BACK ON 771 00:27:32,461 --> 00:27:32,793 >> SURE. WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE BACK ON TWITTER? 772 00:27:32,795 --> 00:27:33,927 WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE BACK ON TWITTER? DIDN'T YOU START YOUR OWN SOCIAL 773 00:27:33,929 --> 00:27:35,062 TWITTER? DIDN'T YOU START YOUR OWN SOCIAL MEDIA WEBSITE? 774 00:27:35,064 --> 00:27:35,929 DIDN'T YOU START YOUR OWN SOCIAL MEDIA WEBSITE? >> EXCUSE ME. 775 00:27:35,931 --> 00:27:36,530 MEDIA WEBSITE? >> EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. 776 00:27:36,532 --> 00:27:37,864 >> EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. 777 00:27:37,866 --> 00:27:39,533 EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. YES, WE'VE ALL MOVED TO TRUE 778 00:27:39,535 --> 00:27:41,401 EXCUSE ME. YES, WE'VE ALL MOVED TO TRUE SOCIAL, AND WE LOVE TRUE SOCIAL. 779 00:27:41,403 --> 00:27:43,637 YES, WE'VE ALL MOVED TO TRUE SOCIAL, AND WE LOVE TRUE SOCIAL. IT'S VERY GREAT, AND IN MANY 780 00:27:43,639 --> 00:27:44,604 SOCIAL, AND WE LOVE TRUE SOCIAL. IT'S VERY GREAT, AND IN MANY WAYS ALSO TERRIBLE. 781 00:27:44,606 --> 00:27:45,839 IT'S VERY GREAT, AND IN MANY WAYS ALSO TERRIBLE. IT'S VERY BAD. 782 00:27:45,841 --> 00:27:47,374 WAYS ALSO TERRIBLE. IT'S VERY BAD. VERY, VERY BAD. 783 00:27:47,376 --> 00:27:50,310 IT'S VERY BAD. VERY, VERY BAD. IT'S A LITTLE BUGGY IN TERMS OF 784 00:27:50,312 --> 00:27:53,113 VERY, VERY BAD. IT'S A LITTLE BUGGY IN TERMS OF MAKING THE PHONE SCREENS CRACK 785 00:27:53,115 --> 00:27:54,848 IT'S A LITTLE BUGGY IN TERMS OF MAKING THE PHONE SCREENS CRACK AND THE AUTOMATICALLY DRAINING 786 00:27:54,850 --> 00:27:55,882 MAKING THE PHONE SCREENS CRACK AND THE AUTOMATICALLY DRAINING OF THE VENMO. 787 00:27:55,884 --> 00:27:58,118 AND THE AUTOMATICALLY DRAINING OF THE VENMO. LET ME BACK ON TWITTER, I WON'T 788 00:27:58,120 --> 00:28:01,888 OF THE VENMO. LET ME BACK ON TWITTER, I WON'T DO ANYTHING BAD EXCEPT MAYBE 789 00:28:01,890 --> 00:28:02,189 LET ME BACK ON TWITTER, I WON'T DO ANYTHING BAD EXCEPT MAYBE COUP. 790 00:28:02,191 --> 00:28:02,989 DO ANYTHING BAD EXCEPT MAYBE COUP. >> ALL RIGHT. 791 00:28:02,991 --> 00:28:05,125 COUP. >> ALL RIGHT. MIGHT AS WELL ROLL THE DICE, 792 00:28:05,127 --> 00:28:08,028 >> ALL RIGHT. MIGHT AS WELL ROLL THE DICE, RIGHT? 793 00:28:08,030 --> 00:28:09,996 MIGHT AS WELL ROLL THE DICE, RIGHT? >> OH, ELON JUST TWEETED, AND 794 00:28:09,998 --> 00:28:12,365 RIGHT? >> OH, ELON JUST TWEETED, AND WE'RE LAID OFF TOO. 795 00:28:12,367 --> 00:28:12,699 >> OH, ELON JUST TWEETED, AND WE'RE LAID OFF TOO. >> YEA! 796 00:28:12,701 --> 00:28:21,641 WE'RE LAID OFF TOO. >> YEA! WE'RE FINALLY FREE. 797 00:28:21,643 --> 00:28:23,343 >> YEA! WE'RE FINALLY FREE. >>> DAVID, FOR THE LAST TIME, 798 00:28:23,345 --> 00:28:25,045 WE'RE FINALLY FREE. >>> DAVID, FOR THE LAST TIME, YOU HAVE TO UNPACK YOUR CLOTHES. 799 00:28:25,047 --> 00:28:27,714 >>> DAVID, FOR THE LAST TIME, YOU HAVE TO UNPACK YOUR CLOTHES. WE MOVED IN A MONTH AGO, HONEY. 800 00:28:27,716 --> 00:28:29,249 YOU HAVE TO UNPACK YOUR CLOTHES. WE MOVED IN A MONTH AGO, HONEY. >> I WILL, MOM. 801 00:28:29,251 --> 00:28:30,951 WE MOVED IN A MONTH AGO, HONEY. >> I WILL, MOM. I HAVE JUST BEEN BUSY. 802 00:28:30,953 --> 00:28:33,787 >> I WILL, MOM. I HAVE JUST BEEN BUSY. >> BUSY FLIRTING WITH EVERY GIRL 803 00:28:33,789 --> 00:28:34,588 I HAVE JUST BEEN BUSY. >> BUSY FLIRTING WITH EVERY GIRL IN SCHOOL. 804 00:28:34,590 --> 00:28:34,988 >> BUSY FLIRTING WITH EVERY GIRL IN SCHOOL. >> SHUT UP. 805 00:28:34,990 --> 00:28:36,556 IN SCHOOL. >> SHUT UP. >> HONEY, IS EVERYTHING OKAY? 806 00:28:36,558 --> 00:28:38,425 >> SHUT UP. >> HONEY, IS EVERYTHING OKAY? >> I JUST FOUND THIS LETTER 807 00:28:38,427 --> 00:28:39,693 >> HONEY, IS EVERYTHING OKAY? >> I JUST FOUND THIS LETTER SLIPPED UNDER OUR DOOR. 808 00:28:39,695 --> 00:28:40,760 >> I JUST FOUND THIS LETTER SLIPPED UNDER OUR DOOR. I DON'T KNOW. 809 00:28:40,762 --> 00:28:41,495 SLIPPED UNDER OUR DOOR. I DON'T KNOW. IT'S STRANGE. 810 00:28:41,497 --> 00:28:43,230 I DON'T KNOW. IT'S STRANGE. >> WHAT DOES IT SAY? 811 00:28:43,232 --> 00:28:45,932 IT'S STRANGE. >> WHAT DOES IT SAY? >> DEAREST NEW NEIGHBORS AT 322 812 00:28:45,934 --> 00:28:48,902 >> WHAT DOES IT SAY? >> DEAREST NEW NEIGHBORS AT 322 OAK RIDGE BOULEVARD, ALLOW ME TO 813 00:28:48,904 --> 00:28:49,636 >> DEAREST NEW NEIGHBORS AT 322 OAK RIDGE BOULEVARD, ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF. 814 00:28:49,638 --> 00:28:50,937 OAK RIDGE BOULEVARD, ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF. I AM THE LOOKER, AND I SEE 815 00:28:50,939 --> 00:28:54,274 INTRODUCE MYSELF. I AM THE LOOKER, AND I SEE EVERYTHING YOU DO. 816 00:28:54,276 --> 00:28:56,943 I AM THE LOOKER, AND I SEE EVERYTHING YOU DO. >> IS THIS SOME KIND OF SICK 817 00:28:56,945 --> 00:28:57,244 EVERYTHING YOU DO. >> IS THIS SOME KIND OF SICK PRANK? 818 00:28:57,246 --> 00:28:58,078 >> IS THIS SOME KIND OF SICK PRANK? >> I DON'T KNOW, CAROL. 819 00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:00,881 PRANK? >> I DON'T KNOW, CAROL. >> I SEE YOU'RE SETTLING IN 820 00:29:00,883 --> 00:29:01,214 >> I DON'T KNOW, CAROL. >> I SEE YOU'RE SETTLING IN NICELY. 821 00:29:01,216 --> 00:29:02,883 >> I SEE YOU'RE SETTLING IN NICELY. YOUR DAUGHTER LIKES TO WRITE IN 822 00:29:02,885 --> 00:29:04,951 NICELY. YOUR DAUGHTER LIKES TO WRITE IN HER DIARY ABOUT THE BOY WHO MOES 823 00:29:04,953 --> 00:29:07,387 YOUR DAUGHTER LIKES TO WRITE IN HER DIARY ABOUT THE BOY WHO MOES THE LAWN, AND YOUR SON HAS BEEN 824 00:29:07,389 --> 00:29:09,656 HER DIARY ABOUT THE BOY WHO MOES THE LAWN, AND YOUR SON HAS BEEN HARD AT WORK PRACTICING HIS 825 00:29:09,658 --> 00:29:09,990 THE LAWN, AND YOUR SON HAS BEEN HARD AT WORK PRACTICING HIS GUITAR. 826 00:29:09,992 --> 00:29:11,158 HARD AT WORK PRACTICING HIS GUITAR. >> THIS IS CREEPING ME OUT. 827 00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:14,060 GUITAR. >> THIS IS CREEPING ME OUT. >> AND YOUR WIFE, AFTER 828 00:29:14,062 --> 00:29:15,762 >> THIS IS CREEPING ME OUT. >> AND YOUR WIFE, AFTER EVERYONE'S ASLEEP, SHE GOES TO 829 00:29:15,764 --> 00:29:18,698 >> AND YOUR WIFE, AFTER EVERYONE'S ASLEEP, SHE GOES TO THE KITCHEN AND EATS AN ENTIRE 830 00:29:18,700 --> 00:29:19,599 EVERYONE'S ASLEEP, SHE GOES TO THE KITCHEN AND EATS AN ENTIRE SECOND DINNER. 831 00:29:19,601 --> 00:29:21,134 THE KITCHEN AND EATS AN ENTIRE SECOND DINNER. >> THAT'S LIKE -- WHAT? 832 00:29:21,136 --> 00:29:25,605 SECOND DINNER. >> THAT'S LIKE -- WHAT? >> SHE EATS IT LIKE A GREEDY 833 00:29:25,607 --> 00:29:26,239 >> THAT'S LIKE -- WHAT? >> SHE EATS IT LIKE A GREEDY RACCOON AFRAID OF GETTING 834 00:29:26,241 --> 00:29:28,808 >> SHE EATS IT LIKE A GREEDY RACCOON AFRAID OF GETTING CAUGHT. 835 00:29:28,810 --> 00:29:31,511 RACCOON AFRAID OF GETTING CAUGHT. >> OKAY. 836 00:29:31,513 --> 00:29:34,314 CAUGHT. >> OKAY. >> AS FOR YOU, DADDY DEAREST. 837 00:29:34,316 --> 00:29:37,317 >> OKAY. >> AS FOR YOU, DADDY DEAREST. I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR MORNING 838 00:29:37,319 --> 00:29:38,985 >> AS FOR YOU, DADDY DEAREST. I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR MORNING JOGS AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD. 839 00:29:38,987 --> 00:29:40,220 I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR MORNING JOGS AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD. I KNOW YOUR WIFE DOES. 840 00:29:40,222 --> 00:29:42,355 JOGS AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD. I KNOW YOUR WIFE DOES. AFTER YOU LEAVE, SHE GETS A 841 00:29:42,357 --> 00:29:43,256 I KNOW YOUR WIFE DOES. AFTER YOU LEAVE, SHE GETS A SNACK, TURNS ON THE TV, AND 842 00:29:43,258 --> 00:29:46,159 AFTER YOU LEAVE, SHE GETS A SNACK, TURNS ON THE TV, AND PLEASURES HERSELF. 843 00:29:46,161 --> 00:29:50,864 SNACK, TURNS ON THE TV, AND PLEASURES HERSELF. TO THE PROPERTY BROTHERS. 844 00:29:50,866 --> 00:29:51,498 PLEASURES HERSELF. TO THE PROPERTY BROTHERS. >> OKAY. 845 00:29:51,500 --> 00:29:52,966 TO THE PROPERTY BROTHERS. >> OKAY. THAT'S NOT RINGING A BELL. 846 00:29:52,968 --> 00:29:56,069 >> OKAY. THAT'S NOT RINGING A BELL. >> BUT HE KNOWS ABOUT MY JOGS, 847 00:29:56,071 --> 00:29:56,403 THAT'S NOT RINGING A BELL. >> BUT HE KNOWS ABOUT MY JOGS, CAROL. 848 00:29:56,405 --> 00:29:58,138 >> BUT HE KNOWS ABOUT MY JOGS, CAROL. >> AND MY DIARY AND DAVID'S 849 00:29:58,140 --> 00:29:58,471 CAROL. >> AND MY DIARY AND DAVID'S GUITAR. 850 00:29:58,473 --> 00:29:59,439 >> AND MY DIARY AND DAVID'S GUITAR. >> I KNOW. 851 00:29:59,441 --> 00:30:01,741 GUITAR. >> I KNOW. THAT'S WHY IT'S SO WEIRD THAT 852 00:30:01,743 --> 00:30:03,710 >> I KNOW. THAT'S WHY IT'S SO WEIRD THAT ALL MY STUFF IS CLEARLY MADE UP. 853 00:30:03,712 --> 00:30:05,478 THAT'S WHY IT'S SO WEIRD THAT ALL MY STUFF IS CLEARLY MADE UP. >> YOUR LIFE MAY SEEM PERFECT, 854 00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:07,581 ALL MY STUFF IS CLEARLY MADE UP. >> YOUR LIFE MAY SEEM PERFECT, BUT THE LOOKER KNOWS IT'S NOT, 855 00:30:07,583 --> 00:30:09,449 >> YOUR LIFE MAY SEEM PERFECT, BUT THE LOOKER KNOWS IT'S NOT, AND YOUR POOR WIFE SEEMS TO BE 856 00:30:09,451 --> 00:30:11,952 BUT THE LOOKER KNOWS IT'S NOT, AND YOUR POOR WIFE SEEMS TO BE HAVING TROUBLE IN THE BATHROOM. 857 00:30:11,954 --> 00:30:14,955 AND YOUR POOR WIFE SEEMS TO BE HAVING TROUBLE IN THE BATHROOM. SLOWLY ROCKING BACK AND FORTH, 858 00:30:14,957 --> 00:30:18,792 HAVING TROUBLE IN THE BATHROOM. SLOWLY ROCKING BACK AND FORTH, TRYING TO MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN. 859 00:30:18,794 --> 00:30:19,960 SLOWLY ROCKING BACK AND FORTH, TRYING TO MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN. GIVING HERSELF PEP TALKS. 860 00:30:19,962 --> 00:30:22,195 TRYING TO MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN. GIVING HERSELF PEP TALKS. >> COME ON, COME ON. 861 00:30:22,197 --> 00:30:25,765 GIVING HERSELF PEP TALKS. >> COME ON, COME ON. >> SHE GETS SO FRUSTRATED SHE'LL 862 00:30:25,767 --> 00:30:29,069 >> COME ON, COME ON. >> SHE GETS SO FRUSTRATED SHE'LL GO DOWNSTAIRS AND BLOW OFF MORE 863 00:30:29,071 --> 00:30:30,704 >> SHE GETS SO FRUSTRATED SHE'LL GO DOWNSTAIRS AND BLOW OFF MORE STEAM WITH PROPERTY BROTHERS. 864 00:30:30,706 --> 00:30:33,740 GO DOWNSTAIRS AND BLOW OFF MORE STEAM WITH PROPERTY BROTHERS. WHY IS SHE SO AROUSED BY THAT 865 00:30:33,742 --> 00:30:34,040 STEAM WITH PROPERTY BROTHERS. WHY IS SHE SO AROUSED BY THAT SHOW? 866 00:30:34,042 --> 00:30:36,476 WHY IS SHE SO AROUSED BY THAT SHOW? IS IT THE BROTHERS OR THE 867 00:30:36,478 --> 00:30:36,843 SHOW? IS IT THE BROTHERS OR THE PROPERTY? 868 00:30:36,845 --> 00:30:38,678 IS IT THE BROTHERS OR THE PROPERTY? >> SOMEONE DOWNLOADED EVERY 869 00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:39,813 PROPERTY? >> SOMEONE DOWNLOADED EVERY EPISODE OF PROPERTY BROTHERS. 870 00:30:39,815 --> 00:30:42,349 >> SOMEONE DOWNLOADED EVERY EPISODE OF PROPERTY BROTHERS. >> AND WATCHED FIVE MINUTES OF 871 00:30:42,351 --> 00:30:43,016 EPISODE OF PROPERTY BROTHERS. >> AND WATCHED FIVE MINUTES OF EACH ONE. 872 00:30:43,018 --> 00:30:46,486 >> AND WATCHED FIVE MINUTES OF EACH ONE. >> SO THIS WEIRDO SNUCK INTO OUR 873 00:30:46,488 --> 00:30:49,456 EACH ONE. >> SO THIS WEIRDO SNUCK INTO OUR HOUSE AND MESSED WITH THE TV? 874 00:30:49,458 --> 00:30:55,495 >> SO THIS WEIRDO SNUCK INTO OUR HOUSE AND MESSED WITH THE TV? NOW I'M WEIRDED OUT OFFICIALLY. 875 00:30:55,497 --> 00:30:56,396 HOUSE AND MESSED WITH THE TV? NOW I'M WEIRDED OUT OFFICIALLY. >> THEN SHE SAYS, TIKTOK DANCES, 876 00:30:56,398 --> 00:30:59,432 NOW I'M WEIRDED OUT OFFICIALLY. >> THEN SHE SAYS, TIKTOK DANCES, YOUR MOM WAS ON HER EXERCISE 877 00:30:59,434 --> 00:30:59,733 >> THEN SHE SAYS, TIKTOK DANCES, YOUR MOM WAS ON HER EXERCISE BIKE. 878 00:30:59,735 --> 00:31:05,939 YOUR MOM WAS ON HER EXERCISE BIKE. >> THAT ONE'S REAL! 879 00:31:05,941 --> 00:31:06,906 BIKE. >> THAT ONE'S REAL! >> SHE DOESN'T EVEN PEDAL. 880 00:31:06,908 --> 00:31:09,209 >> THAT ONE'S REAL! >> SHE DOESN'T EVEN PEDAL. JUST SITS ON THE BIKE AND LOOKS 881 00:31:09,211 --> 00:31:10,543 >> SHE DOESN'T EVEN PEDAL. JUST SITS ON THE BIKE AND LOOKS AT HER PHONE. 882 00:31:10,545 --> 00:31:12,946 JUST SITS ON THE BIKE AND LOOKS AT HER PHONE. THEN GOES BACK TO THE BATHROOM 883 00:31:12,948 --> 00:31:13,413 AT HER PHONE. THEN GOES BACK TO THE BATHROOM TO TRY AGAIN. 884 00:31:13,415 --> 00:31:14,714 THEN GOES BACK TO THE BATHROOM TO TRY AGAIN. >> WHY CAN'T I GO! 885 00:31:14,716 --> 00:31:17,050 TO TRY AGAIN. >> WHY CAN'T I GO! >> WE NEED TO GO TO THE POLICE 886 00:31:17,052 --> 00:31:18,485 >> WHY CAN'T I GO! >> WE NEED TO GO TO THE POLICE AND TELL THEM THIS GUY IS MAKING 887 00:31:18,487 --> 00:31:19,986 >> WE NEED TO GO TO THE POLICE AND TELL THEM THIS GUY IS MAKING UP LIES ABOUT JUST ME. 888 00:31:19,988 --> 00:31:20,987 AND TELL THEM THIS GUY IS MAKING UP LIES ABOUT JUST ME. >> WE WILL. 889 00:31:20,989 --> 00:31:23,857 UP LIES ABOUT JUST ME. >> WE WILL. I THINK IT WILL BE SAFEST IF WE 890 00:31:23,859 --> 00:31:25,725 >> WE WILL. I THINK IT WILL BE SAFEST IF WE STAY IN THE HOTEL TONIGHT. 891 00:31:25,727 --> 00:31:27,894 I THINK IT WILL BE SAFEST IF WE STAY IN THE HOTEL TONIGHT. >> ONE OF US SHOULD STAY. 892 00:31:27,896 --> 00:31:29,796 STAY IN THE HOTEL TONIGHT. >> ONE OF US SHOULD STAY. I GUESS I'LL DO IT SINCE THIS 893 00:31:29,798 --> 00:31:35,268 >> ONE OF US SHOULD STAY. I GUESS I'LL DO IT SINCE THIS GUY'S GOT NOTHING ON ME. 894 00:31:35,270 --> 00:31:37,137 I GUESS I'LL DO IT SINCE THIS GUY'S GOT NOTHING ON ME. >> IT'S DEMO DAY. 895 00:31:37,139 --> 00:31:39,005 GUY'S GOT NOTHING ON ME. >> IT'S DEMO DAY. >> IF YOU'RE WATCHING, IT'S THE 896 00:31:39,007 --> 00:31:39,506 >> IT'S DEMO DAY. >> IF YOU'RE WATCHING, IT'S THE PROPERTY I'M INTO. 897 00:31:39,508 --> 00:31:48,882 >> IF YOU'RE WATCHING, IT'S THE PROPERTY I'M INTO. NOT THE BROTHERS. 898 00:32:12,656 --> 00:32:24,000 >>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, STEVE LACY. ♪ 899 00:32:24,002 --> 00:32:24,534 LACY. ♪ ♪ I WISH I KNEW 900 00:32:24,536 --> 00:32:25,068 ♪ ♪ I WISH I KNEW YOU WANTED ME 901 00:32:25,070 --> 00:32:25,735 ♪ I WISH I KNEW YOU WANTED ME I WISH I KNEW I WISH I KNEW 902 00:32:25,737 --> 00:32:26,236 YOU WANTED ME I WISH I KNEW I WISH I KNEW YOU WANTED ME ♪ 903 00:32:26,238 --> 00:32:26,736 I WISH I KNEW I WISH I KNEW YOU WANTED ME ♪ ♪ I WISH I KNEW 904 00:32:26,738 --> 00:32:27,404 YOU WANTED ME ♪ ♪ I WISH I KNEW I WISH I KNEW YOU WANTED ME 905 00:32:27,406 --> 00:32:27,904 ♪ I WISH I KNEW I WISH I KNEW YOU WANTED ME WHAT YOU, OOH, UH 906 00:32:27,906 --> 00:32:28,371 I WISH I KNEW YOU WANTED ME WHAT YOU, OOH, UH WHAT YOU DO ♪ 907 00:32:28,373 --> 00:32:29,406 WHAT YOU, OOH, UH WHAT YOU DO ♪ ♪ MADE A MOVE 908 00:32:29,408 --> 00:32:31,007 WHAT YOU DO ♪ ♪ MADE A MOVE COULDA MADE A MOVE 909 00:32:31,009 --> 00:32:34,244 ♪ MADE A MOVE COULDA MADE A MOVE IF I KNEW I'D BE WITH YOU 910 00:32:34,246 --> 00:32:39,049 COULDA MADE A MOVE IF I KNEW I'D BE WITH YOU IS IT TOO LATE TO PURSUE ♪ 911 00:32:39,051 --> 00:32:40,650 IF I KNEW I'D BE WITH YOU IS IT TOO LATE TO PURSUE ♪ ♪ I BITE MY TONGUE 912 00:32:40,652 --> 00:32:44,988 IS IT TOO LATE TO PURSUE ♪ ♪ I BITE MY TONGUE IT'S A BAD HABIT 913 00:32:44,990 --> 00:32:46,056 ♪ I BITE MY TONGUE IT'S A BAD HABIT KINDA MAD THAT I DIDN'T 914 00:32:46,058 --> 00:32:48,191 IT'S A BAD HABIT KINDA MAD THAT I DIDN'T TAKE A STAB AT IT ♪ 915 00:32:48,193 --> 00:32:49,259 KINDA MAD THAT I DIDN'T TAKE A STAB AT IT ♪ ♪ THOUGHT YOU WERE TOO GOOD 916 00:32:49,261 --> 00:32:50,894 TAKE A STAB AT IT ♪ ♪ THOUGHT YOU WERE TOO GOOD FOR ME, MY DEAR 917 00:32:50,896 --> 00:32:51,528 ♪ THOUGHT YOU WERE TOO GOOD FOR ME, MY DEAR NEVER GAVE ME TIME OF DAY 918 00:32:51,530 --> 00:32:54,164 FOR ME, MY DEAR NEVER GAVE ME TIME OF DAY MY DEAR ♪ 919 00:32:54,166 --> 00:32:56,833 NEVER GAVE ME TIME OF DAY MY DEAR ♪ ♪ IT'S OKAY, THINGS HAPPEN 920 00:32:56,835 --> 00:32:58,968 MY DEAR ♪ ♪ IT'S OKAY, THINGS HAPPEN FOR REASONS THAT I THINK 921 00:32:58,970 --> 00:33:00,036 ♪ IT'S OKAY, THINGS HAPPEN FOR REASONS THAT I THINK ARE SURE, YEAH 922 00:33:00,038 --> 00:33:02,772 FOR REASONS THAT I THINK ARE SURE, YEAH I WISH I KNEW ♪ 923 00:33:02,774 --> 00:33:04,441 ARE SURE, YEAH I WISH I KNEW ♪ ♪ I WISH I KNEW 924 00:33:04,443 --> 00:33:06,576 I WISH I KNEW ♪ ♪ I WISH I KNEW YOU WANTED ME 925 00:33:06,578 --> 00:33:08,711 ♪ I WISH I KNEW YOU WANTED ME I WISH I KNEW I WISH I KNEW 926 00:33:08,713 --> 00:33:10,346 YOU WANTED ME I WISH I KNEW I WISH I KNEW YOU WANTED ME ♪ 927 00:33:10,348 --> 00:33:12,482 I WISH I KNEW I WISH I KNEW YOU WANTED ME ♪ ♪ I WISH I KNEW 928 00:33:12,484 --> 00:33:18,888 YOU WANTED ME ♪ ♪ I WISH I KNEW I WISH I KNEW YOU WANTED ME 929 00:33:18,890 --> 00:33:19,956 ♪ I WISH I KNEW I WISH I KNEW YOU WANTED ME I WISH I KNEW I WISH I KNEW 930 00:33:19,958 --> 00:33:24,360 I WISH I KNEW YOU WANTED ME I WISH I KNEW I WISH I KNEW YOU WANTED ME ♪ 931 00:33:24,362 --> 00:33:27,063 I WISH I KNEW I WISH I KNEW YOU WANTED ME ♪ ♪ SAY TO ME 932 00:33:27,065 --> 00:33:29,799 YOU WANTED ME ♪ ♪ SAY TO ME PLEASE JUST SAY TO ME 933 00:33:29,801 --> 00:33:35,205 ♪ SAY TO ME PLEASE JUST SAY TO ME IF THIS COULD WIND UP 934 00:33:35,207 --> 00:33:36,339 PLEASE JUST SAY TO ME IF THIS COULD WIND UP I WISH YOU WOULDN'T ♪ 935 00:33:36,341 --> 00:33:39,008 IF THIS COULD WIND UP I WISH YOU WOULDN'T ♪ ♪ PLAY WITH ME 936 00:33:39,010 --> 00:33:47,584 I WISH YOU WOULDN'T ♪ ♪ PLAY WITH ME I WANNA KNOW 937 00:33:47,586 --> 00:33:48,651 ♪ PLAY WITH ME I WANNA KNOW UH, CAN I BITE YOUR TONGUE 938 00:33:48,653 --> 00:33:52,989 I WANNA KNOW UH, CAN I BITE YOUR TONGUE LIKE MY BAD HABIT ♪ 939 00:33:52,991 --> 00:33:54,624 UH, CAN I BITE YOUR TONGUE LIKE MY BAD HABIT ♪ ♪ WOULD YOU MIND IF 940 00:33:54,626 --> 00:33:56,759 LIKE MY BAD HABIT ♪ ♪ WOULD YOU MIND IF I TRIED TO MAKE A PASS AT IT 941 00:33:56,761 --> 00:33:58,394 ♪ WOULD YOU MIND IF I TRIED TO MAKE A PASS AT IT WERE YOU NOT TOO GOOD 942 00:33:58,396 --> 00:33:59,462 I TRIED TO MAKE A PASS AT IT WERE YOU NOT TOO GOOD FOR ME, MY DEAR ♪ 943 00:33:59,464 --> 00:34:00,063 WERE YOU NOT TOO GOOD FOR ME, MY DEAR ♪ ♪ FUNNY YOU COME BACK 944 00:34:00,065 --> 00:34:02,098 FOR ME, MY DEAR ♪ ♪ FUNNY YOU COME BACK TO ME, MY DEAR 945 00:34:02,100 --> 00:34:03,700 ♪ FUNNY YOU COME BACK TO ME, MY DEAR IT'S OKAY 946 00:34:03,702 --> 00:34:05,301 TO ME, MY DEAR IT'S OKAY THINGS HAPPEN FOR REASONS ♪ 947 00:34:05,303 --> 00:34:08,004 IT'S OKAY THINGS HAPPEN FOR REASONS ♪ ♪ THAT I CAN'T IGNORE 948 00:34:08,006 --> 00:34:10,140 THINGS HAPPEN FOR REASONS ♪ ♪ THAT I CAN'T IGNORE I WISH I KNEW 949 00:34:10,142 --> 00:34:12,876 ♪ THAT I CAN'T IGNORE I WISH I KNEW I WISH I KNEW YOU WANTED ME 950 00:34:12,878 --> 00:34:16,613 I WISH I KNEW I WISH I KNEW YOU WANTED ME I WISH I KNEW ♪ 951 00:34:16,615 --> 00:34:18,214 I WISH I KNEW YOU WANTED ME I WISH I KNEW ♪ ♪ WISH I KNEW 952 00:34:18,216 --> 00:34:19,849 I WISH I KNEW ♪ ♪ WISH I KNEW I WISH I KNEW YOU WANTED ME 953 00:34:19,851 --> 00:34:21,417 ♪ WISH I KNEW I WISH I KNEW YOU WANTED ME YOU CAN'T SURPRISE A GEMINI 954 00:34:21,419 --> 00:34:24,087 I WISH I KNEW YOU WANTED ME YOU CAN'T SURPRISE A GEMINI I'M EVERYWHERE ♪ 955 00:34:24,089 --> 00:34:25,722 YOU CAN'T SURPRISE A GEMINI I'M EVERYWHERE ♪ ♪ I'M CROSS-EYED, AND 956 00:34:25,724 --> 00:34:26,789 I'M EVERYWHERE ♪ ♪ I'M CROSS-EYED, AND NOW THAT YOU'RE BACK 957 00:34:26,791 --> 00:34:27,357 ♪ I'M CROSS-EYED, AND NOW THAT YOU'RE BACK I CAN'T DECIDE 958 00:34:27,359 --> 00:34:29,492 NOW THAT YOU'RE BACK I CAN'T DECIDE IF I DECIDE ♪ 959 00:34:29,494 --> 00:34:30,593 I CAN'T DECIDE IF I DECIDE ♪ ♪ IF YOU'RE INVITED 960 00:34:30,595 --> 00:34:32,228 IF I DECIDE ♪ ♪ IF YOU'RE INVITED YOU ALWAYS KNEW 961 00:34:32,230 --> 00:34:36,499 ♪ IF YOU'RE INVITED YOU ALWAYS KNEW THE WAY TO WOW ME 962 00:34:36,501 --> 00:34:37,567 YOU ALWAYS KNEW THE WAY TO WOW ME AROUND GET TONGUE-TIED ♪ 963 00:34:37,569 --> 00:34:38,134 THE WAY TO WOW ME AROUND GET TONGUE-TIED ♪ ♪ AND I TURN IT ON 964 00:34:38,136 --> 00:34:39,169 AROUND GET TONGUE-TIED ♪ ♪ AND I TURN IT ON I MAKE IT ROWDY 965 00:34:39,171 --> 00:34:40,770 ♪ AND I TURN IT ON I MAKE IT ROWDY THEN CARRY ON 966 00:34:40,772 --> 00:34:42,939 I MAKE IT ROWDY THEN CARRY ON BUT I'M NOT HIDIN' ♪ 967 00:34:42,941 --> 00:34:44,574 THEN CARRY ON BUT I'M NOT HIDIN' ♪ ♪ YOU GRABBIN' ME HARD 968 00:34:44,576 --> 00:34:47,243 BUT I'M NOT HIDIN' ♪ ♪ YOU GRABBIN' ME HARD 'CAUSE YOU KNOW 969 00:34:47,245 --> 00:34:48,845 ♪ YOU GRABBIN' ME HARD 'CAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU FOUND 970 00:34:48,847 --> 00:34:49,946 'CAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU FOUND IS BISCUITS ♪ 971 00:34:49,948 --> 00:35:02,825 WHAT YOU FOUND IS BISCUITS ♪ ♪ IS GRAVY, BABE, AH-AH 972 00:35:02,827 --> 00:35:18,541 IS BISCUITS ♪ ♪ IS GRAVY, BABE, AH-AH ♪ 973 00:35:18,543 --> 00:35:22,345 ♪ IS GRAVY, BABE, AH-AH ♪ YOU CAN'T SURPRISE A GEMINI 974 00:35:22,347 --> 00:35:24,480 ♪ YOU CAN'T SURPRISE A GEMINI BUT YOU KNOW IT'S BISCUITS 975 00:35:24,482 --> 00:35:30,386 YOU CAN'T SURPRISE A GEMINI BUT YOU KNOW IT'S BISCUITS IS GRAVY, BABE ♪ 976 00:35:30,388 --> 00:35:33,056 BUT YOU KNOW IT'S BISCUITS IS GRAVY, BABE ♪ ♪ I KNEW YOU'D 977 00:35:33,058 --> 00:35:34,190 IS GRAVY, BABE ♪ ♪ I KNEW YOU'D COME BACK AROUND 978 00:35:34,192 --> 00:35:35,825 ♪ I KNEW YOU'D COME BACK AROUND 'CAUSE YOU KNOW IT'S BISCUITS 979 00:35:35,827 --> 00:35:41,130 COME BACK AROUND 'CAUSE YOU KNOW IT'S BISCUITS IT'S GRAVY, BABE ♪ 980 00:35:41,132 --> 00:35:43,299 'CAUSE YOU KNOW IT'S BISCUITS IT'S GRAVY, BABE ♪ ♪ LET'S IN THE BACK 981 00:35:43,301 --> 00:35:47,036 IT'S GRAVY, BABE ♪ ♪ LET'S IN THE BACK OF THE MALL, LOSE CONTROL 982 00:35:47,038 --> 00:35:51,341 ♪ LET'S IN THE BACK OF THE MALL, LOSE CONTROL GO STUPID, GO CRAZY, BABE 983 00:35:51,343 --> 00:35:53,509 OF THE MALL, LOSE CONTROL GO STUPID, GO CRAZY, BABE I KNOW I'LL BE ♪ 984 00:35:53,511 --> 00:35:56,212 GO STUPID, GO CRAZY, BABE I KNOW I'LL BE ♪ ♪ IN YOUR HEART 'TIL THE END 985 00:35:56,214 --> 00:35:58,381 I KNOW I'LL BE ♪ ♪ IN YOUR HEART 'TIL THE END YOU'LL MISS ME 986 00:35:58,383 --> 00:36:02,885 ♪ IN YOUR HEART 'TIL THE END YOU'LL MISS ME DON'T BEG ME, BABE ♪ 987 00:36:02,887 --> 00:36:16,582 YOU'LL MISS ME DON'T BEG ME, BABE ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 988 00:36:31,015 --> 00:36:41,858 >>> IT'S WEEKEND UPDATE WITH COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE. >> THANK YOU. 989 00:36:41,860 --> 00:36:43,559 COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE. >> THANK YOU. GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. 990 00:36:43,561 --> 00:36:44,761 >> THANK YOU. GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. >> WELCOME. 991 00:36:44,763 --> 00:36:45,628 GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. >> WELCOME. I'M MICHAEL CHE. 992 00:36:45,630 --> 00:36:50,199 >> WELCOME. I'M MICHAEL CHE. >> I'M COLIN JOST. 993 00:36:50,201 --> 00:36:51,901 I'M MICHAEL CHE. >> I'M COLIN JOST. PRESIDENT BIDEN SEEN HERE 994 00:36:51,903 --> 00:36:54,170 >> I'M COLIN JOST. PRESIDENT BIDEN SEEN HERE BEGGING FOR ONE MORE YEAR BEFORE 995 00:36:54,172 --> 00:36:55,938 PRESIDENT BIDEN SEEN HERE BEGGING FOR ONE MORE YEAR BEFORE THE MIDTERMS LEARNED ABOUT 996 00:36:55,940 --> 00:36:57,674 BEGGING FOR ONE MORE YEAR BEFORE THE MIDTERMS LEARNED ABOUT REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES WHO SAY 997 00:36:57,676 --> 00:36:58,908 THE MIDTERMS LEARNED ABOUT REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES WHO SAY THEY WILL REFUSE TO ACCEPT 998 00:36:58,910 --> 00:37:00,176 REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES WHO SAY THEY WILL REFUSE TO ACCEPT ELECTION RESULTS WARNING THEY 999 00:37:00,178 --> 00:37:01,511 THEY WILL REFUSE TO ACCEPT ELECTION RESULTS WARNING THEY COULD SET THE NATION ON A PATH 1000 00:37:01,513 --> 00:37:02,679 ELECTION RESULTS WARNING THEY COULD SET THE NATION ON A PATH TO CHAOS. 1001 00:37:02,681 --> 00:37:04,514 COULD SET THE NATION ON A PATH TO CHAOS. SO, WAIT, THIS IS JUST THE PATH 1002 00:37:04,516 --> 00:37:06,549 TO CHAOS. SO, WAIT, THIS IS JUST THE PATH TO CHAOS? 1003 00:37:06,551 --> 00:37:07,317 SO, WAIT, THIS IS JUST THE PATH TO CHAOS? I THOUGHT WE HAD BEEN LIVE NOT 1004 00:37:07,319 --> 00:37:09,786 TO CHAOS? I THOUGHT WE HAD BEEN LIVE NOT GUILTY CHAOS FOR AT LEAST SIX 1005 00:37:09,788 --> 00:37:10,153 I THOUGHT WE HAD BEEN LIVE NOT GUILTY CHAOS FOR AT LEAST SIX YEARS. 1006 00:37:10,155 --> 00:37:12,388 GUILTY CHAOS FOR AT LEAST SIX YEARS. NANCY PELOSI'S HUSBAND WAS 1007 00:37:12,390 --> 00:37:13,890 YEARS. NANCY PELOSI'S HUSBAND WAS ATTACKED IN THEIR HOME BY A GUY 1008 00:37:13,892 --> 00:37:15,892 NANCY PELOSI'S HUSBAND WAS ATTACKED IN THEIR HOME BY A GUY WITH A HAMMER, AND INSTEAD OF 1009 00:37:15,894 --> 00:37:18,261 ATTACKED IN THEIR HOME BY A GUY WITH A HAMMER, AND INSTEAD OF BASIC SYMPATHY, REPUBLICANS WERE 1010 00:37:18,263 --> 00:37:20,863 WITH A HAMMER, AND INSTEAD OF BASIC SYMPATHY, REPUBLICANS WERE LIKE, WE HEARD HE GAY. 1011 00:37:20,865 --> 00:37:22,365 BASIC SYMPATHY, REPUBLICANS WERE LIKE, WE HEARD HE GAY. DONALD TRUMP JR. MOCKED THE 1012 00:37:22,367 --> 00:37:27,236 LIKE, WE HEARD HE GAY. DONALD TRUMP JR. MOCKED THE ATTACK BY POSTING AN IMAGE AND A 1013 00:37:27,238 --> 00:37:30,873 DONALD TRUMP JR. MOCKED THE ATTACK BY POSTING AN IMAGE AND A PAIR OF UNDERPANTS SAYING, I GOT 1014 00:37:30,875 --> 00:37:35,712 ATTACK BY POSTING AN IMAGE AND A PAIR OF UNDERPANTS SAYING, I GOT MY PAUL PELOSI HALLOWEEN COSTUME 1015 00:37:35,714 --> 00:37:38,514 PAIR OF UNDERPANTS SAYING, I GOT MY PAUL PELOSI HALLOWEEN COSTUME READY, AND I WOULD AGREE CON JR. 1016 00:37:38,516 --> 00:37:42,285 MY PAUL PELOSI HALLOWEEN COSTUME READY, AND I WOULD AGREE CON JR. IS PROBABLY THE THE MASTER OF 1017 00:37:42,287 --> 00:37:44,520 READY, AND I WOULD AGREE CON JR. IS PROBABLY THE THE MASTER OF GETTING HAMMERED IN HIS 1018 00:37:44,522 --> 00:37:44,887 IS PROBABLY THE THE MASTER OF GETTING HAMMERED IN HIS UNDERWEAR. 1019 00:37:44,889 --> 00:37:46,823 GETTING HAMMERED IN HIS UNDERWEAR. YOU WERE TRYING TO BURN PAUL 1020 00:37:46,825 --> 00:37:49,025 UNDERWEAR. YOU WERE TRYING TO BURN PAUL PELOSI, BUT NOW I'M WONDERING IF 1021 00:37:49,027 --> 00:37:52,261 YOU WERE TRYING TO BURN PAUL PELOSI, BUT NOW I'M WONDERING IF YOU WEAR YOUR DAD'S OLD 1022 00:37:52,263 --> 00:37:52,662 PELOSI, BUT NOW I'M WONDERING IF YOU WEAR YOUR DAD'S OLD UNDERWEAR. 1023 00:37:52,664 --> 00:37:57,767 YOU WEAR YOUR DAD'S OLD UNDERWEAR. >> KYRIE IRVING ANNOUNCED FROM 1024 00:37:57,769 --> 00:38:00,737 UNDERWEAR. >> KYRIE IRVING ANNOUNCED FROM NOW ON, HE WILL PRETEND TO NOT 1025 00:38:00,739 --> 00:38:01,704 >> KYRIE IRVING ANNOUNCED FROM NOW ON, HE WILL PRETEND TO NOT BE ANTI-SEMITIC. 1026 00:38:01,706 --> 00:38:06,509 NOW ON, HE WILL PRETEND TO NOT BE ANTI-SEMITIC. HE TWEETED A LINK WAKE UP BLACK 1027 00:38:06,511 --> 00:38:06,876 BE ANTI-SEMITIC. HE TWEETED A LINK WAKE UP BLACK AMERICA. 1028 00:38:06,878 --> 00:38:10,947 HE TWEETED A LINK WAKE UP BLACK AMERICA. IN A HEGRO TO NEGROS WAS ALSO 1029 00:38:10,949 --> 00:38:13,416 AMERICA. IN A HEGRO TO NEGROS WAS ALSO THE NAME OF MY FAVORITE GROUP IN 1030 00:38:13,418 --> 00:38:14,384 IN A HEGRO TO NEGROS WAS ALSO THE NAME OF MY FAVORITE GROUP IN THE '90s. 1031 00:38:14,386 --> 00:38:17,320 THE NAME OF MY FAVORITE GROUP IN THE '90s. >> JUST DAYS BEFORE THE MIDTERM 1032 00:38:17,322 --> 00:38:19,922 THE '90s. >> JUST DAYS BEFORE THE MIDTERM ELECTIONS, OPRAH ENDORSED JOHN 1033 00:38:19,924 --> 00:38:21,691 >> JUST DAYS BEFORE THE MIDTERM ELECTIONS, OPRAH ENDORSED JOHN FETTERMAN INSTEAD OF THE MONSTER 1034 00:38:21,693 --> 00:38:23,426 ELECTIONS, OPRAH ENDORSED JOHN FETTERMAN INSTEAD OF THE MONSTER SHE UNLEASHED UPON US. 1035 00:38:23,428 --> 00:38:26,763 FETTERMAN INSTEAD OF THE MONSTER SHE UNLEASHED UPON US. ISN'T IT CRAZY THAT OPRAH GAVE 1036 00:38:26,765 --> 00:38:29,132 SHE UNLEASHED UPON US. ISN'T IT CRAZY THAT OPRAH GAVE DR. OZ HIS CAREER AND EVEN SHE'S 1037 00:38:29,134 --> 00:38:30,500 ISN'T IT CRAZY THAT OPRAH GAVE DR. OZ HIS CAREER AND EVEN SHE'S TURNED AGAINST HIM? 1038 00:38:30,502 --> 00:38:33,636 DR. OZ HIS CAREER AND EVEN SHE'S TURNED AGAINST HIM? IT'S LIKE IF ROBIN RAN FOR MAYOR 1039 00:38:33,638 --> 00:38:37,607 TURNED AGAINST HIM? IT'S LIKE IF ROBIN RAN FOR MAYOR OF GOTHAM, AND BATMAN WAS LIKE I 1040 00:38:37,609 --> 00:38:39,108 IT'S LIKE IF ROBIN RAN FOR MAYOR OF GOTHAM, AND BATMAN WAS LIKE I ENDORSE PENGUINS. 1041 00:38:39,110 --> 00:38:43,179 OF GOTHAM, AND BATMAN WAS LIKE I ENDORSE PENGUINS. >> HERSCHEL WALKER CRITICIZED 1042 00:38:43,181 --> 00:38:46,048 ENDORSE PENGUINS. >> HERSCHEL WALKER CRITICIZED BARACK OBAMA SAYING, PUT MY 1043 00:38:46,050 --> 00:38:47,083 >> HERSCHEL WALKER CRITICIZED BARACK OBAMA SAYING, PUT MY RESUME AGAINST HIS. 1044 00:38:47,085 --> 00:38:47,383 BARACK OBAMA SAYING, PUT MY RESUME AGAINST HIS. FINE. 1045 00:38:47,385 --> 00:38:50,653 RESUME AGAINST HIS. FINE. SO HERE'S OBAMA'S RESUME, AND 1046 00:38:50,655 --> 00:38:51,954 FINE. SO HERE'S OBAMA'S RESUME, AND HERE'S HERSCHEL WALKER. 1047 00:38:51,956 --> 00:38:54,157 SO HERE'S OBAMA'S RESUME, AND HERE'S HERSCHEL WALKER. BETTER THAN I THOUGHT. 1048 00:38:54,159 --> 00:38:55,024 HERE'S HERSCHEL WALKER. BETTER THAN I THOUGHT. >> COUPLE OF TYPOS. 1049 00:38:55,026 --> 00:38:57,427 BETTER THAN I THOUGHT. >> COUPLE OF TYPOS. THE LATEST JOB REPORTS SHOWS 1050 00:38:57,429 --> 00:38:59,662 >> COUPLE OF TYPOS. THE LATEST JOB REPORTS SHOWS THAT LAST MONTH THE U.S. ECONOMY 1051 00:38:59,664 --> 00:39:01,497 THE LATEST JOB REPORTS SHOWS THAT LAST MONTH THE U.S. ECONOMY ADDED OVER 200,000 JOBS. 1052 00:39:01,499 --> 00:39:02,265 THAT LAST MONTH THE U.S. ECONOMY ADDED OVER 200,000 JOBS. WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT, SAID ELON 1053 00:39:02,267 --> 00:39:07,870 ADDED OVER 200,000 JOBS. WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT, SAID ELON MUSK. 1054 00:39:07,872 --> 00:39:09,806 WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT, SAID ELON MUSK. SINCE ELON MUSK TOOK OVER 1055 00:39:09,808 --> 00:39:12,008 MUSK. SINCE ELON MUSK TOOK OVER TWITTER, USE OF THE N WORD ON 1056 00:39:12,010 --> 00:39:14,677 SINCE ELON MUSK TOOK OVER TWITTER, USE OF THE N WORD ON THE SITE HAS REPORTEDLY JUMPED 1057 00:39:14,679 --> 00:39:14,977 TWITTER, USE OF THE N WORD ON THE SITE HAS REPORTEDLY JUMPED 500%. 1058 00:39:14,979 --> 00:39:16,746 THE SITE HAS REPORTEDLY JUMPED 500%. IT'S THE BIGGEST INCREASE IN THE 1059 00:39:16,748 --> 00:39:19,482 500%. IT'S THE BIGGEST INCREASE IN THE USE OF THE N WORD SINCE THE LAST 1060 00:39:19,484 --> 00:39:24,487 IT'S THE BIGGEST INCREASE IN THE USE OF THE N WORD SINCE THE LAST TIME I STUBBED MY TOE. 1061 00:39:24,489 --> 00:39:28,090 USE OF THE N WORD SINCE THE LAST TIME I STUBBED MY TOE. >> KANYE WEST WAS SUSPENDED FROM 1062 00:39:28,092 --> 00:39:30,059 TIME I STUBBED MY TOE. >> KANYE WEST WAS SUSPENDED FROM INSTAGRAM AGAIN FOR POSTING A 1063 00:39:30,061 --> 00:39:31,761 >> KANYE WEST WAS SUSPENDED FROM INSTAGRAM AGAIN FOR POSTING A DESPAIRING MESSAGE ABOUT JEWISH 1064 00:39:31,763 --> 00:39:32,094 INSTAGRAM AGAIN FOR POSTING A DESPAIRING MESSAGE ABOUT JEWISH PEOPLE. 1065 00:39:32,096 --> 00:39:33,362 DESPAIRING MESSAGE ABOUT JEWISH PEOPLE. SEEMS LIKE HE'S DOING THE SAME 1066 00:39:33,364 --> 00:39:36,032 PEOPLE. SEEMS LIKE HE'S DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND 1067 00:39:36,034 --> 00:39:40,403 SEEMS LIKE HE'S DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS, 1068 00:39:40,405 --> 00:39:41,037 THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS, WHICH I'VE HEARD IS THE 1069 00:39:41,039 --> 00:39:42,171 EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS, WHICH I'VE HEARD IS THE DEFINITION OF SOMETHING. 1070 00:39:42,173 --> 00:39:44,640 WHICH I'VE HEARD IS THE DEFINITION OF SOMETHING. HIS BUSINESS DEALS WENT BAD, AND 1071 00:39:44,642 --> 00:39:48,211 DEFINITION OF SOMETHING. HIS BUSINESS DEALS WENT BAD, AND HE JUST STARTED CALLING IT A 1072 00:39:48,213 --> 00:39:50,913 HIS BUSINESS DEALS WENT BAD, AND HE JUST STARTED CALLING IT A JEWISH CONSPIRACY LIKE WHEN HIS 1073 00:39:50,915 --> 00:39:52,849 HE JUST STARTED CALLING IT A JEWISH CONSPIRACY LIKE WHEN HIS ALBUMS WENT BAD AND HE STARTED 1074 00:39:52,851 --> 00:39:53,916 JEWISH CONSPIRACY LIKE WHEN HIS ALBUMS WENT BAD AND HE STARTED CALLING IT GOSPEL. 1075 00:39:53,918 --> 00:39:56,486 ALBUMS WENT BAD AND HE STARTED CALLING IT GOSPEL. >> TOMORROW IS THE NEW YORK CITY 1076 00:39:56,488 --> 00:39:58,921 CALLING IT GOSPEL. >> TOMORROW IS THE NEW YORK CITY MARATHON, OR AS FOX NEWS WILL 1077 00:39:58,923 --> 00:40:01,157 >> TOMORROW IS THE NEW YORK CITY MARATHON, OR AS FOX NEWS WILL REPORT IT, UNDOCUMENTED AFRICANS 1078 00:40:01,159 --> 00:40:05,628 MARATHON, OR AS FOX NEWS WILL REPORT IT, UNDOCUMENTED AFRICANS RUN WILD IN STREETS OF NEW YORK. 1079 00:40:05,630 --> 00:40:09,732 REPORT IT, UNDOCUMENTED AFRICANS RUN WILD IN STREETS OF NEW YORK. >> CHINA HAS LAUNCHED THE THIRD 1080 00:40:09,734 --> 00:40:11,968 RUN WILD IN STREETS OF NEW YORK. >> CHINA HAS LAUNCHED THE THIRD AND FINAL MODULE FOR ITS 1081 00:40:11,970 --> 00:40:13,169 >> CHINA HAS LAUNCHED THE THIRD AND FINAL MODULE FOR ITS PERMANENT SPACE STATION. 1082 00:40:13,171 --> 00:40:14,770 AND FINAL MODULE FOR ITS PERMANENT SPACE STATION. NOW ALL THEY HAVE TO DO IS 1083 00:40:14,772 --> 00:40:15,505 PERMANENT SPACE STATION. NOW ALL THEY HAVE TO DO IS LAUNCH SOME CHILDREN TO ASSEMBLE 1084 00:40:15,507 --> 00:40:19,675 NOW ALL THEY HAVE TO DO IS LAUNCH SOME CHILDREN TO ASSEMBLE IT. 1085 00:40:19,677 --> 00:40:21,711 LAUNCH SOME CHILDREN TO ASSEMBLE IT. NEW YORK CITY IS NOW REQUIRING 1086 00:40:21,713 --> 00:40:23,613 IT. NEW YORK CITY IS NOW REQUIRING EMPLOYERS TO DISCLOSE SALARY 1087 00:40:23,615 --> 00:40:25,882 NEW YORK CITY IS NOW REQUIRING EMPLOYERS TO DISCLOSE SALARY RANGES IN ALL JOB LISTINGS. 1088 00:40:25,884 --> 00:40:27,116 EMPLOYERS TO DISCLOSE SALARY RANGES IN ALL JOB LISTINGS. EMPLOYERS MUST LIST EVERYTHING 1089 00:40:27,118 --> 00:40:28,417 RANGES IN ALL JOB LISTINGS. EMPLOYERS MUST LIST EVERYTHING RANGING FROM THE TOP SALARY ALL 1090 00:40:28,419 --> 00:40:29,085 EMPLOYERS MUST LIST EVERYTHING RANGING FROM THE TOP SALARY ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE FEMALE 1091 00:40:29,087 --> 00:40:35,491 RANGING FROM THE TOP SALARY ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE FEMALE SALARY. 1092 00:40:35,493 --> 00:40:38,094 THE WAY DOWN TO THE FEMALE SALARY. >> CNN HAS ANNOUNCED THAT DUE TO 1093 00:40:38,096 --> 00:40:40,363 SALARY. >> CNN HAS ANNOUNCED THAT DUE TO BUDGET CUTS THEY ARE SCALING 1094 00:40:40,365 --> 00:40:43,799 >> CNN HAS ANNOUNCED THAT DUE TO BUDGET CUTS THEY ARE SCALING BACK ON ORIGINAL SERIES AND 1095 00:40:43,801 --> 00:40:44,233 BUDGET CUTS THEY ARE SCALING BACK ON ORIGINAL SERIES AND DOCUMENTARIES. 1096 00:40:44,235 --> 00:40:45,601 BACK ON ORIGINAL SERIES AND DOCUMENTARIES. APPARENTLY THERE WAS A FLAW WITH 1097 00:40:45,603 --> 00:40:47,904 DOCUMENTARIES. APPARENTLY THERE WAS A FLAW WITH THE BUSINESS MODEL OF GIVING 1098 00:40:47,906 --> 00:40:50,873 APPARENTLY THERE WAS A FLAW WITH THE BUSINESS MODEL OF GIVING STANLEY TUCCI MILLIONS OF 1099 00:40:50,875 --> 00:40:53,142 THE BUSINESS MODEL OF GIVING STANLEY TUCCI MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO EAT GILATO. 1100 00:40:53,144 --> 00:40:56,312 STANLEY TUCCI MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO EAT GILATO. A ZOO IN ATLANTA WILL ALLOW 1101 00:40:56,314 --> 00:40:57,880 DOLLARS TO EAT GILATO. A ZOO IN ATLANTA WILL ALLOW VISITORS TO CARRY FIREARMS. 1102 00:40:57,882 --> 00:40:59,181 A ZOO IN ATLANTA WILL ALLOW VISITORS TO CARRY FIREARMS. YOU WANT TO TRY LAUGHING AT ME 1103 00:40:59,183 --> 00:41:01,884 VISITORS TO CARRY FIREARMS. YOU WANT TO TRY LAUGHING AT ME AGAIN, MONKEYS? 1104 00:41:01,886 --> 00:41:05,721 YOU WANT TO TRY LAUGHING AT ME AGAIN, MONKEYS? >> WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, MAN? 1105 00:41:05,723 --> 00:41:07,423 AGAIN, MONKEYS? >> WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, MAN? TENSIONS ARE ON THE RISE AFTER 1106 00:41:07,425 --> 00:41:09,825 >> WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, MAN? TENSIONS ARE ON THE RISE AFTER NORTH KOREA LAUNCHED MORE THAN 1107 00:41:09,827 --> 00:41:11,894 TENSIONS ARE ON THE RISE AFTER NORTH KOREA LAUNCHED MORE THAN 20 MISSILES INTO THE OCEAN AND 1108 00:41:11,896 --> 00:41:12,628 NORTH KOREA LAUNCHED MORE THAN 20 MISSILES INTO THE OCEAN AND ALL BECAUSE THE LITTLE MERMAID 1109 00:41:12,630 --> 00:41:14,430 20 MISSILES INTO THE OCEAN AND ALL BECAUSE THE LITTLE MERMAID IS BLACK. 1110 00:41:14,432 --> 00:41:18,100 ALL BECAUSE THE LITTLE MERMAID IS BLACK. NOT REAL. 1111 00:41:18,102 --> 00:41:21,203 IS BLACK. NOT REAL. >> A LINGUISTICS EXPERT HAS 1112 00:41:21,205 --> 00:41:22,838 NOT REAL. >> A LINGUISTICS EXPERT HAS RELEASED A LIST OF THE MOST 1113 00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:24,874 >> A LINGUISTICS EXPERT HAS RELEASED A LIST OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SOUNDING BABY NAMES 1114 00:41:24,876 --> 00:41:27,276 RELEASED A LIST OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SOUNDING BABY NAMES WITH THE TOP SPOTS GOING TO 1115 00:41:27,278 --> 00:41:29,612 BEAUTIFUL SOUNDING BABY NAMES WITH THE TOP SPOTS GOING TO MATTHEW AND SOFIA WHILE THE 1116 00:41:29,614 --> 00:41:32,782 WITH THE TOP SPOTS GOING TO MATTHEW AND SOFIA WHILE THE WORST SOUNDING NAMES ARE MOIST 1117 00:41:32,784 --> 00:41:33,716 MATTHEW AND SOFIA WHILE THE WORST SOUNDING NAMES ARE MOIST AND SLURP. 1118 00:41:33,718 --> 00:41:36,652 WORST SOUNDING NAMES ARE MOIST AND SLURP. IN EASTERN OREGON ARE WARNING 1119 00:41:36,654 --> 00:41:38,387 AND SLURP. IN EASTERN OREGON ARE WARNING RESIDENTS ABOUT SEVERAL HAND 1120 00:41:38,389 --> 00:41:39,789 IN EASTERN OREGON ARE WARNING RESIDENTS ABOUT SEVERAL HAND GRENADES THAT HAVE WASHED ASHORE 1121 00:41:39,791 --> 00:41:42,491 RESIDENTS ABOUT SEVERAL HAND GRENADES THAT HAVE WASHED ASHORE ON A BEACH WHEN ONE BEACH GOER 1122 00:41:42,493 --> 00:41:46,529 GRENADES THAT HAVE WASHED ASHORE ON A BEACH WHEN ONE BEACH GOER SAID, MOMMY, LOOK AT THIS SHELL 1123 00:41:46,531 --> 00:41:48,731 ON A BEACH WHEN ONE BEACH GOER SAID, MOMMY, LOOK AT THIS SHELL I FO -- 1124 00:41:48,733 --> 00:41:54,870 SAID, MOMMY, LOOK AT THIS SHELL I FO -- >> NASA HAS RELEASED AN IMAGE OF 1125 00:41:54,872 --> 00:41:55,605 I FO -- >> NASA HAS RELEASED AN IMAGE OF THE SUN IN WHICH IT APPEARS TO 1126 00:41:55,607 --> 00:41:56,072 >> NASA HAS RELEASED AN IMAGE OF THE SUN IN WHICH IT APPEARS TO BE SMILING. 1127 00:41:56,074 --> 00:41:58,441 THE SUN IN WHICH IT APPEARS TO BE SMILING. SO IF THE SUN CAN SMILE, WOULD 1128 00:41:58,443 --> 00:42:04,947 BE SMILING. SO IF THE SUN CAN SMILE, WOULD IT KILL YOU LADIES TO TRY IT? 1129 00:42:04,949 --> 00:42:06,983 SO IF THE SUN CAN SMILE, WOULD IT KILL YOU LADIES TO TRY IT? >> AN ARIZONA WOMAN WAS ARRESTED 1130 00:42:06,985 --> 00:42:09,518 IT KILL YOU LADIES TO TRY IT? >> AN ARIZONA WOMAN WAS ARRESTED AFTER SHE ALLEGEDLY WENT DAY 1131 00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:11,854 >> AN ARIZONA WOMAN WAS ARRESTED AFTER SHE ALLEGEDLY WENT DAY DRINKING WHILE HER 5 MONTH-OLD 1132 00:42:11,856 --> 00:42:12,688 AFTER SHE ALLEGEDLY WENT DAY DRINKING WHILE HER 5 MONTH-OLD CHILD WAS SITTING HOME ALONE 1133 00:42:12,690 --> 00:42:20,496 DRINKING WHILE HER 5 MONTH-OLD CHILD WAS SITTING HOME ALONE LIKE A LOSER. 1134 00:42:20,498 --> 00:42:23,099 CHILD WAS SITTING HOME ALONE LIKE A LOSER. WOULD SOMEBODY -- CALLING THE 1135 00:42:23,101 --> 00:42:24,033 LIKE A LOSER. WOULD SOMEBODY -- CALLING THE BABY A LOSER. 1136 00:42:24,035 --> 00:42:27,003 WOULD SOMEBODY -- CALLING THE BABY A LOSER. WITH SO MANY MIDTERM RACES 1137 00:42:27,005 --> 00:42:29,372 BABY A LOSER. WITH SO MANY MIDTERM RACES TIGHTENING, IT'S HARD TO PREDICT 1138 00:42:29,374 --> 00:42:31,507 WITH SO MANY MIDTERM RACES TIGHTENING, IT'S HARD TO PREDICT WHAT WILL DRIVE MORE TO THE 1139 00:42:31,509 --> 00:42:31,807 TIGHTENING, IT'S HARD TO PREDICT WHAT WILL DRIVE MORE TO THE POLLS. 1140 00:42:31,809 --> 00:42:35,011 WHAT WILL DRIVE MORE TO THE POLLS. HERE TO COMMENT IS TAMMY THE 1141 00:42:35,013 --> 00:42:36,646 POLLS. HERE TO COMMENT IS TAMMY THE TRUCKER WHO PROMISES SHE'S HERE 1142 00:42:36,648 --> 00:42:39,715 HERE TO COMMENT IS TAMMY THE TRUCKER WHO PROMISES SHE'S HERE TO TALK ABOUT GAS PRICES AND 1143 00:42:39,717 --> 00:42:41,250 TRUCKER WHO PROMISES SHE'S HERE TO TALK ABOUT GAS PRICES AND DEFINITELY NOT ABORTION. 1144 00:42:41,252 --> 00:42:41,550 TO TALK ABOUT GAS PRICES AND DEFINITELY NOT ABORTION. WHAT? 1145 00:42:41,552 --> 00:42:43,019 DEFINITELY NOT ABORTION. WHAT? >> HEY, THERE. 1146 00:42:43,021 --> 00:42:43,786 WHAT? >> HEY, THERE. IT'S ME. 1147 00:42:43,788 --> 00:42:45,287 >> HEY, THERE. IT'S ME. TAMMY THE TRUCKER. 1148 00:42:45,289 --> 00:42:47,556 IT'S ME. TAMMY THE TRUCKER. BREAKER, BREAKER, OVER. 1149 00:42:47,558 --> 00:42:50,059 TAMMY THE TRUCKER. BREAKER, BREAKER, OVER. >> WOW, TAMMY. 1150 00:42:50,061 --> 00:42:51,627 BREAKER, BREAKER, OVER. >> WOW, TAMMY. SO YOU ARE A TRUCKER WHO WAS 1151 00:42:51,629 --> 00:42:56,432 >> WOW, TAMMY. SO YOU ARE A TRUCKER WHO WAS VERY AFFECTED BY GAS PRICES. 1152 00:42:56,434 --> 00:42:58,000 SO YOU ARE A TRUCKER WHO WAS VERY AFFECTED BY GAS PRICES. THAT MAKES SENSE TO ME. 1153 00:42:58,002 --> 00:42:58,701 VERY AFFECTED BY GAS PRICES. THAT MAKES SENSE TO ME. >> I THOUGHT IT WOULD, COLIN 1154 00:42:58,703 --> 00:42:59,001 THAT MAKES SENSE TO ME. >> I THOUGHT IT WOULD, COLIN JOST. 1155 00:42:59,003 --> 00:42:59,568 >> I THOUGHT IT WOULD, COLIN JOST. THAT'S WHY I'M HERE. 1156 00:42:59,570 --> 00:43:00,336 JOST. THAT'S WHY I'M HERE. >> WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT NOT 1157 00:43:00,338 --> 00:43:01,704 THAT'S WHY I'M HERE. >> WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT NOT TALKING ABOUT ABORTIONS? 1158 00:43:01,706 --> 00:43:04,073 >> WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT NOT TALKING ABOUT ABORTIONS? >> NO, NO, NO. 1159 00:43:04,075 --> 00:43:06,308 TALKING ABOUT ABORTIONS? >> NO, NO, NO. BREAKER, BREAKER, I GOT A BIG 1160 00:43:06,310 --> 00:43:07,810 >> NO, NO, NO. BREAKER, BREAKER, I GOT A BIG DADDY ON MY TAIL. 1161 00:43:07,812 --> 00:43:09,445 BREAKER, BREAKER, I GOT A BIG DADDY ON MY TAIL. ALL I'M HERE TO TALK ABOUT IS 1162 00:43:09,447 --> 00:43:11,914 DADDY ON MY TAIL. ALL I'M HERE TO TALK ABOUT IS GAS EVEN THOUGH THE SUPREME 1163 00:43:11,916 --> 00:43:13,783 ALL I'M HERE TO TALK ABOUT IS GAS EVEN THOUGH THE SUPREME COURT SENT ROE V WADE TO THAT 1164 00:43:13,785 --> 00:43:17,019 GAS EVEN THOUGH THE SUPREME COURT SENT ROE V WADE TO THAT BIG PIT STOP IN THE SKY. 1165 00:43:17,021 --> 00:43:17,620 COURT SENT ROE V WADE TO THAT BIG PIT STOP IN THE SKY. 50 YEARS OF PRECEDENT. 1166 00:43:17,622 --> 00:43:21,857 BIG PIT STOP IN THE SKY. 50 YEARS OF PRECEDENT. BEEP, BEEP. 1167 00:43:21,859 --> 00:43:22,825 50 YEARS OF PRECEDENT. BEEP, BEEP. >> ARE YOU OKAY? 1168 00:43:22,827 --> 00:43:24,660 BEEP, BEEP. >> ARE YOU OKAY? IT SEEMS LIKE MAYBE YOU DO WANT 1169 00:43:24,662 --> 00:43:26,829 >> ARE YOU OKAY? IT SEEMS LIKE MAYBE YOU DO WANT TO TALK ABOUT ABORTION. 1170 00:43:26,831 --> 00:43:29,331 IT SEEMS LIKE MAYBE YOU DO WANT TO TALK ABOUT ABORTION. >> CALM YOUR COOTER DOWN. 1171 00:43:29,333 --> 00:43:31,233 TO TALK ABOUT ABORTION. >> CALM YOUR COOTER DOWN. I'M TINA THE TRUCKER, WHATEVER 1172 00:43:31,235 --> 00:43:32,301 >> CALM YOUR COOTER DOWN. I'M TINA THE TRUCKER, WHATEVER NAME I GAVE YOU. 1173 00:43:32,303 --> 00:43:38,908 I'M TINA THE TRUCKER, WHATEVER NAME I GAVE YOU. I GOT TO BE IN RANCHO KUNKARUMBA 1174 00:43:38,910 --> 00:43:39,375 NAME I GAVE YOU. I GOT TO BE IN RANCHO KUNKARUMBA BY NIGHT FALL. 1175 00:43:39,377 --> 00:43:40,376 I GOT TO BE IN RANCHO KUNKARUMBA BY NIGHT FALL. >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1176 00:43:40,378 --> 00:43:41,811 BY NIGHT FALL. >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING? >> I'M JUST TRYING TO GET 1177 00:43:41,813 --> 00:43:43,746 >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING? >> I'M JUST TRYING TO GET THROUGH THIS MOMENT, SNOK GAS 1178 00:43:43,748 --> 00:43:46,348 >> I'M JUST TRYING TO GET THROUGH THIS MOMENT, SNOK GAS PRICES ARE UP, AND FAMILIES ARE 1179 00:43:46,350 --> 00:43:48,084 THROUGH THIS MOMENT, SNOK GAS PRICES ARE UP, AND FAMILIES ARE HURTING, BUT THAT'S NOT GOING TO 1180 00:43:48,086 --> 00:43:49,752 PRICES ARE UP, AND FAMILIES ARE HURTING, BUT THAT'S NOT GOING TO MAGICALLY DISAPPEAR NO MATTER 1181 00:43:49,754 --> 00:43:51,320 HURTING, BUT THAT'S NOT GOING TO MAGICALLY DISAPPEAR NO MATTER WHO YOU VOTE FOR. 1182 00:43:51,322 --> 00:43:53,022 MAGICALLY DISAPPEAR NO MATTER WHO YOU VOTE FOR. WE'RE IN A GLOBAL RECESSION 1183 00:43:53,024 --> 00:43:56,058 WHO YOU VOTE FOR. WE'RE IN A GLOBAL RECESSION FUELED BY CORPORATE GREED AND 1184 00:43:56,060 --> 00:43:56,325 WE'RE IN A GLOBAL RECESSION FUELED BY CORPORATE GREED AND WAR. 1185 00:43:56,327 --> 00:43:57,493 FUELED BY CORPORATE GREED AND WAR. HONK, HONK. 1186 00:43:57,495 --> 00:43:59,762 WAR. HONK, HONK. BUT WHAT WILL KEEP DISAPPEARING 1187 00:43:59,764 --> 00:44:01,831 HONK, HONK. BUT WHAT WILL KEEP DISAPPEARING IS SAFE ACCESS TO ABORTION. 1188 00:44:01,833 --> 00:44:03,566 BUT WHAT WILL KEEP DISAPPEARING IS SAFE ACCESS TO ABORTION. IT'S NOT REALLY MAGIC BECAUSE 1189 00:44:03,568 --> 00:44:05,901 IS SAFE ACCESS TO ABORTION. IT'S NOT REALLY MAGIC BECAUSE THEY TOLD US THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE 1190 00:44:05,903 --> 00:44:07,603 IT'S NOT REALLY MAGIC BECAUSE THEY TOLD US THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE GOING TO DO, AND THEY HAVE BEEN 1191 00:44:07,605 --> 00:44:08,771 THEY TOLD US THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE GOING TO DO, AND THEY HAVE BEEN DOING IT. 1192 00:44:08,773 --> 00:44:11,173 GOING TO DO, AND THEY HAVE BEEN DOING IT. BREAKER, BREAKER. 1193 00:44:11,175 --> 00:44:11,941 DOING IT. BREAKER, BREAKER. I GOT A DOUBLE NICKEL ON THE 1194 00:44:11,943 --> 00:44:12,241 BREAKER, BREAKER. I GOT A DOUBLE NICKEL ON THE FLAB. 1195 00:44:12,243 --> 00:44:14,543 I GOT A DOUBLE NICKEL ON THE FLAB. >> DID YOU JUST GOOGLE TRUCKER 1196 00:44:14,545 --> 00:44:14,877 FLAB. >> DID YOU JUST GOOGLE TRUCKER TERMS? 1197 00:44:14,879 --> 00:44:16,212 >> DID YOU JUST GOOGLE TRUCKER TERMS? >> LIKE RESEARCH? 1198 00:44:16,214 --> 00:44:17,580 TERMS? >> LIKE RESEARCH? YEAH. 1199 00:44:17,582 --> 00:44:18,180 >> LIKE RESEARCH? YEAH. HOLD THAT. 1200 00:44:18,182 --> 00:44:19,782 YEAH. HOLD THAT. I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT 1201 00:44:19,784 --> 00:44:22,184 HOLD THAT. I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT ABORTION ON LIVE TV OR PEACOCK, 1202 00:44:22,186 --> 00:44:23,753 I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT ABORTION ON LIVE TV OR PEACOCK, WHATEVER THAT COUNTS AS. 1203 00:44:23,755 --> 00:44:26,589 ABORTION ON LIVE TV OR PEACOCK, WHATEVER THAT COUNTS AS. BUT THESE ARE SCARY TIMES, OKAY? 1204 00:44:26,591 --> 00:44:27,857 WHATEVER THAT COUNTS AS. BUT THESE ARE SCARY TIMES, OKAY? BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT TO JUST 1205 00:44:27,859 --> 00:44:30,059 BUT THESE ARE SCARY TIMES, OKAY? BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT TO JUST TAKE AWAY ACCESS TO HEALTHCARE. 1206 00:44:30,061 --> 00:44:34,330 BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT TO JUST TAKE AWAY ACCESS TO HEALTHCARE. THEY WANT TO CRIMINALIZE IT TOO. 1207 00:44:34,332 --> 00:44:36,132 TAKE AWAY ACCESS TO HEALTHCARE. THEY WANT TO CRIMINALIZE IT TOO. IT'S SO BAD, US TRUCK DRIVERS 1208 00:44:36,134 --> 00:44:38,234 THEY WANT TO CRIMINALIZE IT TOO. IT'S SO BAD, US TRUCK DRIVERS ARE WARNING EACH OTHER TO DELETE 1209 00:44:38,236 --> 00:44:39,635 IT'S SO BAD, US TRUCK DRIVERS ARE WARNING EACH OTHER TO DELETE OUR PERIOD TRACKING APPS. 1210 00:44:39,637 --> 00:44:42,538 ARE WARNING EACH OTHER TO DELETE OUR PERIOD TRACKING APPS. I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT WEEK TO 1211 00:44:42,540 --> 00:44:44,640 OUR PERIOD TRACKING APPS. I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT WEEK TO WEAR MY BAD UNDERWEAR. 1212 00:44:44,642 --> 00:44:46,742 I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT WEEK TO WEAR MY BAD UNDERWEAR. BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE SOME DICK 1213 00:44:46,744 --> 00:44:48,611 WEAR MY BAD UNDERWEAR. BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE SOME DICK HEAD IN ARIZONA THINKS IT'S 1214 00:44:48,613 --> 00:44:51,680 BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE SOME DICK HEAD IN ARIZONA THINKS IT'S EVIDENCE OF A CRIME. 1215 00:44:51,682 --> 00:44:55,718 HEAD IN ARIZONA THINKS IT'S EVIDENCE OF A CRIME. 1216 00:44:55,720 --> 00:44:56,185 EVIDENCE OF A CRIME. ARUBA! 1217 00:44:56,187 --> 00:44:59,321 ARUBA! >> I THINK IT'S AROOGA! 1218 00:44:59,323 --> 00:45:01,624 ARUBA! >> I THINK IT'S AROOGA! >> WHY ARE YOU ON MY ASS? 1219 00:45:01,626 --> 00:45:04,160 >> I THINK IT'S AROOGA! >> WHY ARE YOU ON MY ASS? THE POINT IS, YOU SHOULD BE ABLE 1220 00:45:04,162 --> 00:45:06,328 >> WHY ARE YOU ON MY ASS? THE POINT IS, YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO SEE A DOCTOR ABOUT YOUR 1221 00:45:06,330 --> 00:45:07,630 THE POINT IS, YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO SEE A DOCTOR ABOUT YOUR ANATOMY WITHOUT THEM HAVING TO 1222 00:45:07,632 --> 00:45:08,264 TO SEE A DOCTOR ABOUT YOUR ANATOMY WITHOUT THEM HAVING TO CALL THEIR LAWYER FIRST. 1223 00:45:08,266 --> 00:45:13,769 ANATOMY WITHOUT THEM HAVING TO CALL THEIR LAWYER FIRST. BEEP, BEEP. 1224 00:45:13,771 --> 00:45:14,737 CALL THEIR LAWYER FIRST. BEEP, BEEP. CHECK MY REAR. 1225 00:45:14,739 --> 00:45:16,272 BEEP, BEEP. CHECK MY REAR. AM I CLEAR? 1226 00:45:16,274 --> 00:45:17,940 CHECK MY REAR. AM I CLEAR? IS MY REAR CLEAR? 1227 00:45:17,942 --> 00:45:18,240 AM I CLEAR? IS MY REAR CLEAR? BEEP. 1228 00:45:18,242 --> 00:45:20,743 IS MY REAR CLEAR? BEEP. I'M BACKING UP ABOUT 50 YEARS 1229 00:45:20,745 --> 00:45:21,644 BEEP. I'M BACKING UP ABOUT 50 YEARS INTO THE PAST. 1230 00:45:21,646 --> 00:45:23,112 I'M BACKING UP ABOUT 50 YEARS INTO THE PAST. >> I GOT YOU. 1231 00:45:23,114 --> 00:45:23,512 INTO THE PAST. >> I GOT YOU. I GOT YOU. 1232 00:45:23,514 --> 00:45:25,614 >> I GOT YOU. I GOT YOU. >> I KNOW THIS WASN'T FUN FOR 1233 00:45:25,616 --> 00:45:25,881 I GOT YOU. >> I KNOW THIS WASN'T FUN FOR YOU. 1234 00:45:25,883 --> 00:45:27,383 >> I KNOW THIS WASN'T FUN FOR YOU. LET ME GIVE YOU SOME LITTLE 1235 00:45:27,385 --> 00:45:29,185 YOU. LET ME GIVE YOU SOME LITTLE TRUCKER TOYS. 1236 00:45:29,187 --> 00:45:38,160 LET ME GIVE YOU SOME LITTLE TRUCKER TOYS. HERE'S A NUDEY MAG, AND HERE'S 1237 00:45:38,162 --> 00:45:38,460 TRUCKER TOYS. HERE'S A NUDEY MAG, AND HERE'S THIS. 1238 00:45:38,462 --> 00:45:39,028 HERE'S A NUDEY MAG, AND HERE'S THIS. >> IS THIS GATORADE? 1239 00:45:39,030 --> 00:45:40,930 THIS. >> IS THIS GATORADE? >> IT WAS AT ONE POINT. 1240 00:45:40,932 --> 00:45:42,898 >> IS THIS GATORADE? >> IT WAS AT ONE POINT. TRUTH IS, I HAVE FELT PRETTY 1241 00:45:42,900 --> 00:45:44,700 >> IT WAS AT ONE POINT. TRUTH IS, I HAVE FELT PRETTY HELPLESS OVER THE PAST YEAR, AND 1242 00:45:44,702 --> 00:45:46,702 TRUTH IS, I HAVE FELT PRETTY HELPLESS OVER THE PAST YEAR, AND IT'S HARD TO KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO 1243 00:45:46,704 --> 00:45:48,404 HELPLESS OVER THE PAST YEAR, AND IT'S HARD TO KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO MAKE OTHER TRUCKERS FEEL BETTER. 1244 00:45:48,406 --> 00:45:51,207 IT'S HARD TO KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO MAKE OTHER TRUCKERS FEEL BETTER. SO HERE'S THE THING I CAN SAY. 1245 00:45:51,209 --> 00:45:51,941 MAKE OTHER TRUCKERS FEEL BETTER. SO HERE'S THE THING I CAN SAY. THERE'S ONE MOTHER TRUCKING 1246 00:45:51,943 --> 00:45:53,475 SO HERE'S THE THING I CAN SAY. THERE'S ONE MOTHER TRUCKING THING WE CAN DO TO FIGHT FOR 1247 00:45:53,477 --> 00:45:55,511 THERE'S ONE MOTHER TRUCKING THING WE CAN DO TO FIGHT FOR MOTHER TRUCKING FREEDOM TO MAKE 1248 00:45:55,513 --> 00:45:57,279 THING WE CAN DO TO FIGHT FOR MOTHER TRUCKING FREEDOM TO MAKE OUR OWN HEALTHCARE DECISIONS, 1249 00:45:57,281 --> 00:45:58,080 MOTHER TRUCKING FREEDOM TO MAKE OUR OWN HEALTHCARE DECISIONS, AND THAT'S VOTE. 1250 00:45:58,082 --> 00:45:58,981 OUR OWN HEALTHCARE DECISIONS, AND THAT'S VOTE. AND I HOPE TO HELL EVERYONE 1251 00:45:58,983 --> 00:46:02,885 AND THAT'S VOTE. AND I HOPE TO HELL EVERYONE VOTES. 1252 00:46:02,887 --> 00:46:04,720 AND I HOPE TO HELL EVERYONE VOTES. BECAUSE REMEMBER, WE ALL LOVE 1253 00:46:04,722 --> 00:46:06,388 VOTES. BECAUSE REMEMBER, WE ALL LOVE SOMEONE WHO'S HAD AN ABORTION -- 1254 00:46:06,390 --> 00:46:09,692 BECAUSE REMEMBER, WE ALL LOVE SOMEONE WHO'S HAD AN ABORTION -- I MEAN, DRIVES A TRUCK. 1255 00:46:09,694 --> 00:46:15,364 SOMEONE WHO'S HAD AN ABORTION -- I MEAN, DRIVES A TRUCK. BEEP, BEEP, AROOGA! 1256 00:46:15,366 --> 00:46:18,033 I MEAN, DRIVES A TRUCK. BEEP, BEEP, AROOGA! >> FROM WEEKEND UPDATE, I'M 1257 00:46:18,035 --> 00:46:18,434 BEEP, BEEP, AROOGA! >> FROM WEEKEND UPDATE, I'M COLIN JOST. 1258 00:46:18,436 --> 00:46:22,037 >> FROM WEEKEND UPDATE, I'M COLIN JOST. >> I'M MICHAEL CHE, GOOD NIGHT! 1259 00:46:49,082 --> 00:46:53,419 >>> KIDS, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE RUNNING. THIS IS SO FUN. 1260 00:46:53,421 --> 00:46:55,087 RUNNING. THIS IS SO FUN. I'M SO GLAD WE WERE ABLE TO GET 1261 00:46:55,089 --> 00:46:55,554 THIS IS SO FUN. I'M SO GLAD WE WERE ABLE TO GET THIS TOGETHER. 1262 00:46:55,556 --> 00:46:57,756 I'M SO GLAD WE WERE ABLE TO GET THIS TOGETHER. >> IT IS A GREAT DAY FOR A GAME. 1263 00:46:57,758 --> 00:46:59,792 THIS TOGETHER. >> IT IS A GREAT DAY FOR A GAME. >> COULDN'T ASK FOR BETTER 1264 00:46:59,794 --> 00:47:02,328 >> IT IS A GREAT DAY FOR A GAME. >> COULDN'T ASK FOR BETTER TAILGATING WEATHER. 1265 00:47:02,330 --> 00:47:02,995 >> COULDN'T ASK FOR BETTER TAILGATING WEATHER. IT SHOULD BE A GREAT GAME. 1266 00:47:02,997 --> 00:47:05,531 TAILGATING WEATHER. IT SHOULD BE A GREAT GAME. >> BILLS ARE TOP OF THEIR 1267 00:47:05,533 --> 00:47:05,898 IT SHOULD BE A GREAT GAME. >> BILLS ARE TOP OF THEIR DIVISION. 1268 00:47:05,900 --> 00:47:06,465 >> BILLS ARE TOP OF THEIR DIVISION. THEY'RE PRETTY GOOD. 1269 00:47:06,467 --> 00:47:09,401 DIVISION. THEY'RE PRETTY GOOD. >> SO IS THIS MACARONI SALAD. 1270 00:47:09,403 --> 00:47:10,936 THEY'RE PRETTY GOOD. >> SO IS THIS MACARONI SALAD. >> WHEN DID YOU HAVE TIME TO 1271 00:47:10,938 --> 00:47:11,337 >> SO IS THIS MACARONI SALAD. >> WHEN DID YOU HAVE TIME TO MAKE THIS. 1272 00:47:11,339 --> 00:47:13,172 >> WHEN DID YOU HAVE TIME TO MAKE THIS. >> I THREW IT TOGETHER LAST 1273 00:47:13,174 --> 00:47:13,472 MAKE THIS. >> I THREW IT TOGETHER LAST NIGHT. 1274 00:47:13,474 --> 00:47:13,939 >> I THREW IT TOGETHER LAST NIGHT. IT'S NOTHING. 1275 00:47:13,941 --> 00:47:16,775 NIGHT. IT'S NOTHING. >> WELL, GIVE ME MORE NOTHINGS. 1276 00:47:16,777 --> 00:47:20,446 IT'S NOTHING. >> WELL, GIVE ME MORE NOTHINGS. UH-OH, BILLS FAN COMING. 1277 00:47:20,448 --> 00:47:20,713 >> WELL, GIVE ME MORE NOTHINGS. UH-OH, BILLS FAN COMING. HEY! 1278 00:47:20,715 --> 00:47:21,213 UH-OH, BILLS FAN COMING. HEY! HEY! 1279 00:47:21,215 --> 00:47:22,114 HEY! HEY! BILLS JERSEY! 1280 00:47:22,116 --> 00:47:24,783 HEY! BILLS JERSEY! YOU'RE WEARING THE FREAKING 1281 00:47:24,785 --> 00:47:26,685 BILLS JERSEY! YOU'RE WEARING THE FREAKING WRONG SHIRT YOU A-HOLE! 1282 00:47:26,687 --> 00:47:29,755 YOU'RE WEARING THE FREAKING WRONG SHIRT YOU A-HOLE! >> YOU LOOK LIKE A FREAKING 1283 00:47:29,757 --> 00:47:30,422 WRONG SHIRT YOU A-HOLE! >> YOU LOOK LIKE A FREAKING MORON! 1284 00:47:30,424 --> 00:47:33,425 >> YOU LOOK LIKE A FREAKING MORON! KEEP WALKING, MORON! 1285 00:47:33,427 --> 00:47:36,261 MORON! KEEP WALKING, MORON! >> FREAKING DEAD TODAY, MORON! 1286 00:47:36,263 --> 00:47:38,697 KEEP WALKING, MORON! >> FREAKING DEAD TODAY, MORON! >> BY THE WAY, DID I TELL YOU, 1287 00:47:38,699 --> 00:47:40,899 >> FREAKING DEAD TODAY, MORON! >> BY THE WAY, DID I TELL YOU, HENRY IS HAVING A TOUGH TIME AT 1288 00:47:40,901 --> 00:47:41,233 >> BY THE WAY, DID I TELL YOU, HENRY IS HAVING A TOUGH TIME AT SCHOOL. 1289 00:47:41,235 --> 00:47:43,002 HENRY IS HAVING A TOUGH TIME AT SCHOOL. >> REVOLVE, OH, NO. 1290 00:47:43,004 --> 00:47:43,802 SCHOOL. >> REVOLVE, OH, NO. WHAT HAPPENED? 1291 00:47:43,804 --> 00:47:45,838 >> REVOLVE, OH, NO. WHAT HAPPENED? >> I GUESS HE'S GETTING BULLIED. 1292 00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:46,572 WHAT HAPPENED? >> I GUESS HE'S GETTING BULLIED. >> NO. 1293 00:47:46,574 --> 00:47:48,674 >> I GUESS HE'S GETTING BULLIED. >> NO. >> FOR HIS HAIR CUT. 1294 00:47:48,676 --> 00:47:49,174 >> NO. >> FOR HIS HAIR CUT. >> THAT'S AWFUL. 1295 00:47:49,176 --> 00:47:51,243 >> FOR HIS HAIR CUT. >> THAT'S AWFUL. >> WHERE DO KIDS EVEN LEARN 1296 00:47:51,245 --> 00:47:51,543 >> THAT'S AWFUL. >> WHERE DO KIDS EVEN LEARN THIS? 1297 00:47:51,545 --> 00:47:54,747 >> WHERE DO KIDS EVEN LEARN THIS? >> FROM THE INTERNET, I GUESS. 1298 00:47:54,749 --> 00:47:56,949 THIS? >> FROM THE INTERNET, I GUESS. UH-OH, BAD ASS BILLS FAN ALERT. 1299 00:47:56,951 --> 00:48:02,321 >> FROM THE INTERNET, I GUESS. UH-OH, BAD ASS BILLS FAN ALERT. >> MAYBE YOU DO A FEW JUMPING 1300 00:48:02,323 --> 00:48:02,621 UH-OH, BAD ASS BILLS FAN ALERT. >> MAYBE YOU DO A FEW JUMPING JACKS! 1301 00:48:02,623 --> 00:48:05,057 >> MAYBE YOU DO A FEW JUMPING JACKS! >> MAYBE EAT A VEGETABLE NEXT 1302 00:48:05,059 --> 00:48:07,693 JACKS! >> MAYBE EAT A VEGETABLE NEXT TIME, YOU FREAKING WHALE! 1303 00:48:07,695 --> 00:48:09,161 >> MAYBE EAT A VEGETABLE NEXT TIME, YOU FREAKING WHALE! >> I'M PREGNANT. 1304 00:48:09,163 --> 00:48:12,297 TIME, YOU FREAKING WHALE! >> I'M PREGNANT. >> YOU WANT A MEDAL? 1305 00:48:12,299 --> 00:48:15,167 >> I'M PREGNANT. >> YOU WANT A MEDAL? HAVE A DRINK, SLUT! 1306 00:48:15,169 --> 00:48:16,168 >> YOU WANT A MEDAL? HAVE A DRINK, SLUT! >> MONKEY! 1307 00:48:16,170 --> 00:48:17,102 HAVE A DRINK, SLUT! >> MONKEY! >> MONKEY! 1308 00:48:17,104 --> 00:48:18,170 >> MONKEY! >> MONKEY! >> OH, MY GOD. 1309 00:48:18,172 --> 00:48:20,973 >> MONKEY! >> OH, MY GOD. >> BY THE WAY, I WAS IN CVS 1310 00:48:20,975 --> 00:48:22,975 >> OH, MY GOD. >> BY THE WAY, I WAS IN CVS YESTERDAY, THEY ALREADY HAVE THE 1311 00:48:22,977 --> 00:48:23,542 >> BY THE WAY, I WAS IN CVS YESTERDAY, THEY ALREADY HAVE THE CHRISTMAS STUFF OUT. 1312 00:48:23,544 --> 00:48:24,243 YESTERDAY, THEY ALREADY HAVE THE CHRISTMAS STUFF OUT. >> I KNOW. 1313 00:48:24,245 --> 00:48:26,245 CHRISTMAS STUFF OUT. >> I KNOW. THEY TAKE DOWN THE HALLOWEEN 1314 00:48:26,247 --> 00:48:28,280 >> I KNOW. THEY TAKE DOWN THE HALLOWEEN STUFF, AND POOF, IT'S CHRISTMAS. 1315 00:48:28,282 --> 00:48:29,982 THEY TAKE DOWN THE HALLOWEEN STUFF, AND POOF, IT'S CHRISTMAS. >> HEY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU 1316 00:48:29,984 --> 00:48:30,749 STUFF, AND POOF, IT'S CHRISTMAS. >> HEY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING? 1317 00:48:30,751 --> 00:48:32,885 >> HEY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING? >> IS THERE A PROBLEM, OFFICER? 1318 00:48:32,887 --> 00:48:34,386 GUYS DOING? >> IS THERE A PROBLEM, OFFICER? >> THERE WILL BE IF YOU DON'T 1319 00:48:34,388 --> 00:48:37,623 >> IS THERE A PROBLEM, OFFICER? >> THERE WILL BE IF YOU DON'T PUT THAT CHARCOAL OUT BEFORE YOU 1320 00:48:37,625 --> 00:48:38,157 >> THERE WILL BE IF YOU DON'T PUT THAT CHARCOAL OUT BEFORE YOU HEAD INTO THE GAME. 1321 00:48:38,159 --> 00:48:39,324 PUT THAT CHARCOAL OUT BEFORE YOU HEAD INTO THE GAME. >> OF COURSE WE'LL PUT IT OUT. 1322 00:48:39,326 --> 00:48:41,326 HEAD INTO THE GAME. >> OF COURSE WE'LL PUT IT OUT. >> I WOULD HOPE SO BECAUSE EVERY 1323 00:48:41,328 --> 00:48:43,395 >> OF COURSE WE'LL PUT IT OUT. >> I WOULD HOPE SO BECAUSE EVERY WEEK -- HEY! 1324 00:48:43,397 --> 00:48:51,236 >> I WOULD HOPE SO BECAUSE EVERY WEEK -- HEY! HEY, BILLS MAFIA! 1325 00:48:51,238 --> 00:48:53,639 WEEK -- HEY! HEY, BILLS MAFIA! YOU'RE IN THE WRONG STADIUM, YOU 1326 00:48:53,641 --> 00:48:54,573 HEY, BILLS MAFIA! YOU'RE IN THE WRONG STADIUM, YOU FREAKING A-HOLE! 1327 00:48:54,575 --> 00:48:56,875 YOU'RE IN THE WRONG STADIUM, YOU FREAKING A-HOLE! >> YOU WANT TO CRY TO YOUR 1328 00:48:56,877 --> 00:48:57,576 FREAKING A-HOLE! >> YOU WANT TO CRY TO YOUR MOMMY? 1329 00:48:57,578 --> 00:49:00,379 >> YOU WANT TO CRY TO YOUR MOMMY? KEEP WALKING YOU DOUCHE BAG! 1330 00:49:00,381 --> 00:49:03,482 MOMMY? KEEP WALKING YOU DOUCHE BAG! >> I'LL BRING THE BARBECUE RIGHT 1331 00:49:03,484 --> 00:49:04,049 KEEP WALKING YOU DOUCHE BAG! >> I'LL BRING THE BARBECUE RIGHT TO YOU! 1332 00:49:04,051 --> 00:49:06,285 >> I'LL BRING THE BARBECUE RIGHT TO YOU! >> YEAH, RUN RIGHT INTO TRAFFIC, 1333 00:49:06,287 --> 00:49:08,787 TO YOU! >> YEAH, RUN RIGHT INTO TRAFFIC, YOU FREAKING DOUCHE BAG! 1334 00:49:08,789 --> 00:49:11,223 >> YEAH, RUN RIGHT INTO TRAFFIC, YOU FREAKING DOUCHE BAG! >> YOU FOLKS ENJOY THE GAME. 1335 00:49:11,225 --> 00:49:12,324 YOU FREAKING DOUCHE BAG! >> YOU FOLKS ENJOY THE GAME. >> THANKS OFFICER. 1336 00:49:12,326 --> 00:49:13,092 >> YOU FOLKS ENJOY THE GAME. >> THANKS OFFICER. OH, MY GOD. 1337 00:49:13,094 --> 00:49:14,693 >> THANKS OFFICER. OH, MY GOD. I FORGOT TO TELL YOU. 1338 00:49:14,695 --> 00:49:16,462 OH, MY GOD. I FORGOT TO TELL YOU. MY SECOND GRADE CLASS IS SO 1339 00:49:16,464 --> 00:49:17,996 I FORGOT TO TELL YOU. MY SECOND GRADE CLASS IS SO ADORABLE THIS YEAR, AND THEY'RE 1340 00:49:17,998 --> 00:49:23,769 MY SECOND GRADE CLASS IS SO ADORABLE THIS YEAR, AND THEY'RE SO EXCITED TO LEARN. 1341 00:49:23,771 --> 00:49:24,069 ADORABLE THIS YEAR, AND THEY'RE SO EXCITED TO LEARN. YEAH. 1342 00:49:24,071 --> 00:49:24,336 SO EXCITED TO LEARN. YEAH. HEY! 1343 00:49:24,338 --> 00:49:25,838 YEAH. HEY! BILLS, GET MY WHOLE THING! 1344 00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:28,340 HEY! BILLS, GET MY WHOLE THING! >> SUCK MY SLEEVE, BUDDY! 1345 00:49:28,342 --> 00:49:29,475 BILLS, GET MY WHOLE THING! >> SUCK MY SLEEVE, BUDDY! SUCK IT FRONT TO BACK. 1346 00:49:29,477 --> 00:49:31,810 >> SUCK MY SLEEVE, BUDDY! SUCK IT FRONT TO BACK. >> OH, YOU'RE GOING TO GO BY ALL 1347 00:49:31,812 --> 00:49:34,046 SUCK IT FRONT TO BACK. >> OH, YOU'RE GOING TO GO BY ALL SLOW, HUH? 1348 00:49:34,048 --> 00:49:34,680 >> OH, YOU'RE GOING TO GO BY ALL SLOW, HUH? YOU THINK THAT SCARES ME? 1349 00:49:34,682 --> 00:49:36,749 SLOW, HUH? YOU THINK THAT SCARES ME? I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU YOU PANSY. 1350 00:49:36,751 --> 00:49:39,485 YOU THINK THAT SCARES ME? I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU YOU PANSY. >> YEAH, I PUT MY WHOLE FIST 1351 00:49:39,487 --> 00:49:42,121 I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU YOU PANSY. >> YEAH, I PUT MY WHOLE FIST THROUGH YOUR FACE, YOU FREAKING 1352 00:49:42,123 --> 00:49:42,454 >> YEAH, I PUT MY WHOLE FIST THROUGH YOUR FACE, YOU FREAKING A-HOLE! 1353 00:49:42,456 --> 00:49:45,224 THROUGH YOUR FACE, YOU FREAKING A-HOLE! >> KEEP MOVING YOU HUMP FREAKING 1354 00:49:45,226 --> 00:49:45,524 A-HOLE! >> KEEP MOVING YOU HUMP FREAKING HUMP. 1355 00:49:45,526 --> 00:49:48,160 >> KEEP MOVING YOU HUMP FREAKING HUMP. >> I AM REALLY FEELING THIS 1356 00:49:48,162 --> 00:49:48,660 HUMP. >> I AM REALLY FEELING THIS WHITE CLAW. 1357 00:49:48,662 --> 00:49:49,328 >> I AM REALLY FEELING THIS WHITE CLAW. >> EXCUSE ME FOR A SECOND. 1358 00:49:49,330 --> 00:49:51,897 WHITE CLAW. >> EXCUSE ME FOR A SECOND. HEY! 1359 00:49:51,899 --> 00:49:53,999 >> EXCUSE ME FOR A SECOND. HEY! >> WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? 1360 00:49:54,001 --> 00:49:58,570 HEY! >> WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? >> SO SHOULD WE START HEADING IN 1361 00:49:58,572 --> 00:49:58,871 >> WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? >> SO SHOULD WE START HEADING IN SOON? 1362 00:49:58,873 --> 00:49:59,371 >> SO SHOULD WE START HEADING IN SOON? >> YOU KNOW WHAT? 1363 00:49:59,373 --> 00:50:00,439 SOON? >> YOU KNOW WHAT? THERE'S ONLY FIVE MINUTES LEFT 1364 00:50:00,441 --> 00:50:00,873 >> YOU KNOW WHAT? THERE'S ONLY FIVE MINUTES LEFT IN THE GAME. 1365 00:50:00,875 --> 00:50:02,207 THERE'S ONLY FIVE MINUTES LEFT IN THE GAME. >> OH, MY GOSH. 1366 00:50:02,209 --> 00:50:05,377 IN THE GAME. >> OH, MY GOSH. DID WE MISS THE WHOLE GAME 1367 00:50:05,379 --> 00:50:05,677 >> OH, MY GOSH. DID WE MISS THE WHOLE GAME AGAIN? 1368 00:50:05,679 --> 00:50:05,978 DID WE MISS THE WHOLE GAME AGAIN? YEAH. 1369 00:50:05,980 --> 00:50:07,613 AGAIN? YEAH. >> SO SHOULD WE JUST STAY OUT 1370 00:50:07,615 --> 00:50:08,046 YEAH. >> SO SHOULD WE JUST STAY OUT HERE? 1371 00:50:08,048 --> 00:50:11,316 >> SO SHOULD WE JUST STAY OUT HERE? >> I'M HAVING FUN. 1372 00:50:11,318 --> 00:50:11,683 HERE? >> I'M HAVING FUN. HEY! 1373 00:50:11,685 --> 00:50:12,785 >> I'M HAVING FUN. HEY! >> HEY! 1374 00:50:12,787 --> 00:50:15,521 HEY! >> HEY! SUCK MY SLEEVE, YOU DUMB COW! 1375 00:50:15,523 --> 00:50:20,659 >> HEY! SUCK MY SLEEVE, YOU DUMB COW! >> SUCK MY WHOLE SLEEVE! 1376 00:50:20,661 --> 00:50:25,497 SUCK MY SLEEVE, YOU DUMB COW! >> SUCK MY WHOLE SLEEVE! >> J-E-T-S, JETS! 1377 00:50:25,499 --> 00:50:27,366 >> SUCK MY WHOLE SLEEVE! >> J-E-T-S, JETS! >> FIRST DATES, AM I RIGHT? 1378 00:50:27,368 --> 00:50:28,734 >> J-E-T-S, JETS! >> FIRST DATES, AM I RIGHT? I WAS ACTUALLY EXCITED ABOUT 1379 00:50:28,736 --> 00:50:30,803 >> FIRST DATES, AM I RIGHT? I WAS ACTUALLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS ONE, BUT OF COURSE I GOT MY 1380 00:50:30,805 --> 00:50:33,005 I WAS ACTUALLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS ONE, BUT OF COURSE I GOT MY PERIOD TODAY ZBLI WANT A PERIOD 1381 00:50:33,007 --> 00:50:35,040 THIS ONE, BUT OF COURSE I GOT MY PERIOD TODAY ZBLI WANT A PERIOD OPTION THAT'S CONVENIENT AND 1382 00:50:35,042 --> 00:50:36,208 PERIOD TODAY ZBLI WANT A PERIOD OPTION THAT'S CONVENIENT AND DISCRETE SO I DON'T HAVE TO 1383 00:50:36,210 --> 00:50:38,377 OPTION THAT'S CONVENIENT AND DISCRETE SO I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT LEAKS, ODORS OR 1384 00:50:38,379 --> 00:50:38,744 DISCRETE SO I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT LEAKS, ODORS OR ANYTHING. 1385 00:50:38,746 --> 00:50:40,045 WORRY ABOUT LEAKS, ODORS OR ANYTHING. >> WHAT I'M AT WORK, I DON'T 1386 00:50:40,047 --> 00:50:41,613 ANYTHING. >> WHAT I'M AT WORK, I DON'T HAVE TIME TO RUN BACK AND FORTH 1387 00:50:41,615 --> 00:50:42,414 >> WHAT I'M AT WORK, I DON'T HAVE TIME TO RUN BACK AND FORTH TO THE BATHROOM. 1388 00:50:42,416 --> 00:50:45,217 HAVE TIME TO RUN BACK AND FORTH TO THE BATHROOM. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO FORGET ALL 1389 00:50:45,219 --> 00:50:45,584 TO THE BATHROOM. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO FORGET ALL ABOUT IT. 1390 00:50:45,586 --> 00:50:49,788 I WANT TO BE ABLE TO FORGET ALL ABOUT IT. >> NOW YOU CAN WITH PINX 1391 00:50:49,790 --> 00:50:50,155 ABOUT IT. >> NOW YOU CAN WITH PINX UNDERWEAR. 1392 00:50:50,157 --> 00:50:52,257 >> NOW YOU CAN WITH PINX UNDERWEAR. YOU'LL BE COVERED ALL DAY LONG 1393 00:50:52,259 --> 00:50:53,659 UNDERWEAR. YOU'LL BE COVERED ALL DAY LONG NO MATTER WHAT. 1394 00:50:53,661 --> 00:50:55,327 YOU'LL BE COVERED ALL DAY LONG NO MATTER WHAT. AND THE ONLY PERSON WHO HAS TO 1395 00:50:55,329 --> 00:50:57,029 NO MATTER WHAT. AND THE ONLY PERSON WHO HAS TO KNOW YOU'RE ON YOUR PERIOD IS 1396 00:50:57,031 --> 00:50:57,329 AND THE ONLY PERSON WHO HAS TO KNOW YOU'RE ON YOUR PERIOD IS YOU. 1397 00:50:57,331 --> 00:50:59,598 KNOW YOU'RE ON YOUR PERIOD IS YOU. >> NOW MY PERIOD IS MY LITTLE 1398 00:50:59,600 --> 00:51:00,966 YOU. >> NOW MY PERIOD IS MY LITTLE SECRET. 1399 00:51:00,968 --> 00:51:01,867 >> NOW MY PERIOD IS MY LITTLE SECRET. OH, A DOG. 1400 00:51:01,869 --> 00:51:04,903 SECRET. OH, A DOG. >> FINALLY, AN UNDERWEAR THAT'S 1401 00:51:04,905 --> 00:51:06,405 OH, A DOG. >> FINALLY, AN UNDERWEAR THAT'S AS NATURAL AS YOU. 1402 00:51:06,407 --> 00:51:08,740 >> FINALLY, AN UNDERWEAR THAT'S AS NATURAL AS YOU. IT'S MADE OF ALL ORGANIC 1403 00:51:08,742 --> 00:51:09,141 AS NATURAL AS YOU. IT'S MADE OF ALL ORGANIC MATERIALS. 1404 00:51:09,143 --> 00:51:10,509 IT'S MADE OF ALL ORGANIC MATERIALS. >> I LOVE NOT HAVING TO BRING A 1405 00:51:10,511 --> 00:51:12,211 MATERIALS. >> I LOVE NOT HAVING TO BRING A BAG OF SUPPLIES WHEREVER I GO. 1406 00:51:12,213 --> 00:51:14,947 >> I LOVE NOT HAVING TO BRING A BAG OF SUPPLIES WHEREVER I GO. >> I LOVE NOT HAVING TO THINK 1407 00:51:14,949 --> 00:51:15,314 BAG OF SUPPLIES WHEREVER I GO. >> I LOVE NOT HAVING TO THINK ABOUT IT. 1408 00:51:15,316 --> 00:51:18,050 >> I LOVE NOT HAVING TO THINK ABOUT IT. >> NOW I GET TO DO ME, AND PINX 1409 00:51:18,052 --> 00:51:18,517 ABOUT IT. >> NOW I GET TO DO ME, AND PINX DOES THE REST. 1410 00:51:18,519 --> 00:51:19,918 >> NOW I GET TO DO ME, AND PINX DOES THE REST. >> WOW, DOGS REALLY LOVE YOU. 1411 00:51:19,920 --> 00:51:20,819 DOES THE REST. >> WOW, DOGS REALLY LOVE YOU. >> YEAH. 1412 00:51:20,821 --> 00:51:22,788 >> WOW, DOGS REALLY LOVE YOU. >> YEAH. I HAVE A CHEESE BURGER IN MY 1413 00:51:22,790 --> 00:51:23,121 >> YEAH. I HAVE A CHEESE BURGER IN MY POCKET. 1414 00:51:23,123 --> 00:51:23,488 I HAVE A CHEESE BURGER IN MY POCKET. >> WHAT? 1415 00:51:23,490 --> 00:51:27,526 POCKET. >> WHAT? >> EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. 1416 00:51:27,528 --> 00:51:36,335 >> WHAT? >> EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. PINX HAS OPTIONS FOR EVERY LEVEL 1417 00:51:36,337 --> 00:51:37,703 >> EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. PINX HAS OPTIONS FOR EVERY LEVEL 1418 00:51:37,705 --> 00:51:37,936 PINX HAS OPTIONS FOR EVERY LEVEL . 1419 00:51:37,938 --> 00:51:40,272 . >> I LOVE STINKS -- SORRY, PINX. 1420 00:51:40,274 --> 00:51:42,741 . >> I LOVE STINKS -- SORRY, PINX. >> NO MORE HIDING, PLASTIC, AND 1421 00:51:42,743 --> 00:51:44,176 >> I LOVE STINKS -- SORRY, PINX. >> NO MORE HIDING, PLASTIC, AND NO MORE STRESS. 1422 00:51:44,178 --> 00:51:48,180 >> NO MORE HIDING, PLASTIC, AND NO MORE STRESS. YOU SHOULD FEEL BEAUTIFUL. 1423 00:51:48,182 --> 00:51:49,748 NO MORE STRESS. YOU SHOULD FEEL BEAUTIFUL. HUMAN, ATTRACTIVE. 1424 00:51:49,750 --> 00:51:54,553 YOU SHOULD FEEL BEAUTIFUL. HUMAN, ATTRACTIVE. NOW, YOU CAN WALK PROUD. 1425 00:51:54,555 --> 00:51:57,522 HUMAN, ATTRACTIVE. NOW, YOU CAN WALK PROUD. HAVE YOUR PERIOD THE WAY NATURE 1426 00:51:57,524 --> 00:52:00,425 NOW, YOU CAN WALK PROUD. HAVE YOUR PERIOD THE WAY NATURE INTENDED WITH PINX. 1427 00:52:00,427 --> 00:52:01,493 HAVE YOUR PERIOD THE WAY NATURE INTENDED WITH PINX. >> WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO FOR 1428 00:52:01,495 --> 00:52:01,827 INTENDED WITH PINX. >> WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO FOR DINNER? 1429 00:52:01,829 --> 00:52:02,628 >> WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO FOR DINNER? >> I CAN'T HEAR YOU. 1430 00:52:02,630 --> 00:52:04,463 DINNER? >> I CAN'T HEAR YOU. >> DO YOU WANT TO GET DINNER 1431 00:52:04,465 --> 00:52:04,796 >> I CAN'T HEAR YOU. >> DO YOU WANT TO GET DINNER OR -- 1432 00:52:04,798 --> 00:52:05,764 >> DO YOU WANT TO GET DINNER OR -- >> I CANNOT HEAR YOU. 1433 00:52:05,766 --> 00:52:06,431 OR -- >> I CANNOT HEAR YOU. >> OH, MY GOD! 1434 00:52:06,433 --> 00:52:09,067 >> I CANNOT HEAR YOU. >> OH, MY GOD! RUN! 1435 00:52:09,069 --> 00:52:11,603 >> OH, MY GOD! RUN! >> PINX UNDERWEAR. 1436 00:52:11,605 --> 00:52:14,923 RUN! >> PINX UNDERWEAR. THIS IS THE BEST IDEA WE GOT. 1437 00:52:24,367 --> 00:52:35,243 >>> GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO WKTVN NEWS. >> LATER TONIGHT, BAKLAVA OR 1438 00:52:35,245 --> 00:52:35,544 WKTVN NEWS. >> LATER TONIGHT, BAKLAVA OR BALA? 1439 00:52:35,546 --> 00:52:37,479 >> LATER TONIGHT, BAKLAVA OR BALA? THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE 1440 00:52:37,481 --> 00:52:38,046 BALA? THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO DELICIOUS TREATS. 1441 00:52:38,048 --> 00:52:40,215 THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO DELICIOUS TREATS. >> I LOVE STUDIES LIKE THAT. 1442 00:52:40,217 --> 00:52:42,451 TWO DELICIOUS TREATS. >> I LOVE STUDIES LIKE THAT. FIRST WE GO WHERE A FIRE HAS 1443 00:52:42,453 --> 00:52:43,785 >> I LOVE STUDIES LIKE THAT. FIRST WE GO WHERE A FIRE HAS SPREAD FORCING SEVERAL FAMILIES 1444 00:52:43,787 --> 00:52:45,520 FIRST WE GO WHERE A FIRE HAS SPREAD FORCING SEVERAL FAMILIES OUT OF THEIR HOMES. 1445 00:52:45,522 --> 00:52:47,956 SPREAD FORCING SEVERAL FAMILIES OUT OF THEIR HOMES. LET'S CHECK IN WITH OUR BRAND 1446 00:52:47,958 --> 00:52:52,027 OUT OF THEIR HOMES. LET'S CHECK IN WITH OUR BRAND NEW REPORTER, CHANCE HARMSTRONG. 1447 00:52:52,029 --> 00:52:53,061 LET'S CHECK IN WITH OUR BRAND NEW REPORTER, CHANCE HARMSTRONG. >> THANKS. 1448 00:52:53,063 --> 00:52:56,698 NEW REPORTER, CHANCE HARMSTRONG. >> THANKS. I'M SO THRILLED TO BE JOINING 1449 00:52:56,700 --> 00:52:57,366 >> THANKS. I'M SO THRILLED TO BE JOINING THE TEAM. 1450 00:52:57,368 --> 00:52:59,835 I'M SO THRILLED TO BE JOINING THE TEAM. RIGHT NOW I'M WITH A LOCAL 1451 00:52:59,837 --> 00:53:00,202 THE TEAM. RIGHT NOW I'M WITH A LOCAL RESIDENT. 1452 00:53:00,204 --> 00:53:01,169 RIGHT NOW I'M WITH A LOCAL RESIDENT. MA'AM, TELL US WHAT HAPPENED. 1453 00:53:01,171 --> 00:53:05,641 RESIDENT. MA'AM, TELL US WHAT HAPPENED. >> SIR, I WAS HAVING MY NORMAL 1454 00:53:05,643 --> 00:53:07,976 MA'AM, TELL US WHAT HAPPENED. >> SIR, I WAS HAVING MY NORMAL CIGARETTE IN BED, AND I WAS 1455 00:53:07,978 --> 00:53:11,279 >> SIR, I WAS HAVING MY NORMAL CIGARETTE IN BED, AND I WAS WOKEN UP BY A MAN WHO SAID, 1456 00:53:11,281 --> 00:53:14,349 CIGARETTE IN BED, AND I WAS WOKEN UP BY A MAN WHO SAID, BANG, BANG, BANG, AND I PUT TWO 1457 00:53:14,351 --> 00:53:15,817 WOKEN UP BY A MAN WHO SAID, BANG, BANG, BANG, AND I PUT TWO AND TEN TOGETHER, AND I SAID 1458 00:53:15,819 --> 00:53:16,118 BANG, BANG, BANG, AND I PUT TWO AND TEN TOGETHER, AND I SAID FIRE. 1459 00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:17,319 AND TEN TOGETHER, AND I SAID FIRE. >> DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW THIS 1460 00:53:17,321 --> 00:53:18,420 FIRE. >> DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW THIS FIRE COULD HAVE STARTED? 1461 00:53:18,422 --> 00:53:20,789 >> DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW THIS FIRE COULD HAVE STARTED? >> I'M NOT SURE HOW, BUT I KNOW 1462 00:53:20,791 --> 00:53:21,456 FIRE COULD HAVE STARTED? >> I'M NOT SURE HOW, BUT I KNOW 100% WHY. 1463 00:53:21,458 --> 00:53:23,959 >> I'M NOT SURE HOW, BUT I KNOW 100% WHY. I DO NOT WANT TO SAY NAMES, BUT 1464 00:53:23,961 --> 00:53:25,060 100% WHY. I DO NOT WANT TO SAY NAMES, BUT IT WAS MY COUSIN. 1465 00:53:25,062 --> 00:53:26,695 I DO NOT WANT TO SAY NAMES, BUT IT WAS MY COUSIN. >> IT WAS YOUR COUSIN? 1466 00:53:26,697 --> 00:53:28,997 IT WAS MY COUSIN. >> IT WAS YOUR COUSIN? >> YES, AND SHE IS LOOKING RIGHT 1467 00:53:28,999 --> 00:53:31,033 >> IT WAS YOUR COUSIN? >> YES, AND SHE IS LOOKING RIGHT AT YOU NOW, SIR. 1468 00:53:31,035 --> 00:53:31,900 >> YES, AND SHE IS LOOKING RIGHT AT YOU NOW, SIR. >> WHAT? 1469 00:53:31,902 --> 00:53:34,369 AT YOU NOW, SIR. >> WHAT? OH, YOU TAKING A PICTURE OF ME? 1470 00:53:34,371 --> 00:53:39,474 >> WHAT? OH, YOU TAKING A PICTURE OF ME? NO, YOU'RE NOT. 1471 00:53:39,476 --> 00:53:41,109 OH, YOU TAKING A PICTURE OF ME? NO, YOU'RE NOT. NOT FOR FREE, YOU'RE NOT. 1472 00:53:41,111 --> 00:53:43,345 NO, YOU'RE NOT. NOT FOR FREE, YOU'RE NOT. >> SHE'S MAD BECAUSE SHE WANTS 1473 00:53:43,347 --> 00:53:45,247 NOT FOR FREE, YOU'RE NOT. >> SHE'S MAD BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO GET WITH MY HUSBAND BECAUSE 1474 00:53:45,249 --> 00:53:45,947 >> SHE'S MAD BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO GET WITH MY HUSBAND BECAUSE LOOK AT HIM. 1475 00:53:45,949 --> 00:53:47,082 TO GET WITH MY HUSBAND BECAUSE LOOK AT HIM. >> THIS FOR TV? 1476 00:53:47,084 --> 00:53:48,283 LOOK AT HIM. >> THIS FOR TV? >> YES. 1477 00:53:48,285 --> 00:53:48,784 >> THIS FOR TV? >> YES. THIS IS THE NEWS. 1478 00:53:48,786 --> 00:53:49,685 >> YES. THIS IS THE NEWS. >> OH, SNAP. 1479 00:53:49,687 --> 00:53:51,787 THIS IS THE NEWS. >> OH, SNAP. >> BACK TO THE FIRE. 1480 00:53:51,789 --> 00:53:53,388 >> OH, SNAP. >> BACK TO THE FIRE. >> IT'S A LONG STORY BUT SHE'S 1481 00:53:53,390 --> 00:53:55,123 >> BACK TO THE FIRE. >> IT'S A LONG STORY BUT SHE'S MAD BECAUSE SHE CAN'T GET WITH 1482 00:53:55,125 --> 00:53:58,627 >> IT'S A LONG STORY BUT SHE'S MAD BECAUSE SHE CAN'T GET WITH HIM BECAUSE HE CLOSE ME AND HE'S 1483 00:53:58,629 --> 00:53:59,027 MAD BECAUSE SHE CAN'T GET WITH HIM BECAUSE HE CLOSE ME AND HE'S MY COUSIN. 1484 00:53:59,029 --> 00:54:01,329 HIM BECAUSE HE CLOSE ME AND HE'S MY COUSIN. >> KEEP SAYING STUFF LIKE THAT, 1485 00:54:01,331 --> 00:54:03,932 MY COUSIN. >> KEEP SAYING STUFF LIKE THAT, I WILL SET YOUR HOUSE UPON FIRE 1486 00:54:03,934 --> 00:54:04,266 >> KEEP SAYING STUFF LIKE THAT, I WILL SET YOUR HOUSE UPON FIRE AGAIN. 1487 00:54:04,268 --> 00:54:05,967 I WILL SET YOUR HOUSE UPON FIRE AGAIN. >> SET MY HOUSE ON FIRE. 1488 00:54:05,969 --> 00:54:07,135 AGAIN. >> SET MY HOUSE ON FIRE. I'M SCARED. 1489 00:54:07,137 --> 00:54:08,070 >> SET MY HOUSE ON FIRE. I'M SCARED. >> ALL RIGHT. 1490 00:54:08,072 --> 00:54:10,172 I'M SCARED. >> ALL RIGHT. THIS WAS NOT AS INFORMATIVE AS I 1491 00:54:10,174 --> 00:54:10,806 >> ALL RIGHT. THIS WAS NOT AS INFORMATIVE AS I HOPED. 1492 00:54:10,808 --> 00:54:11,239 THIS WAS NOT AS INFORMATIVE AS I HOPED. BACK TO YOU. 1493 00:54:11,241 --> 00:54:12,040 HOPED. BACK TO YOU. >> HEY, HEY. 1494 00:54:12,042 --> 00:54:13,909 BACK TO YOU. >> HEY, HEY. COME BACK TO ME. 1495 00:54:13,911 --> 00:54:15,343 >> HEY, HEY. COME BACK TO ME. TAKE MY PICTURE. 1496 00:54:15,345 --> 00:54:16,945 COME BACK TO ME. TAKE MY PICTURE. LOOK WHAT I CAN DO. 1497 00:54:16,947 --> 00:54:19,347 TAKE MY PICTURE. LOOK WHAT I CAN DO. ONE HAND, ONE HAND. 1498 00:54:19,349 --> 00:54:21,550 LOOK WHAT I CAN DO. ONE HAND, ONE HAND. >> HE'S SHOWING OFF FOR ME. 1499 00:54:21,552 --> 00:54:25,954 ONE HAND, ONE HAND. >> HE'S SHOWING OFF FOR ME. I WANT TO LAY WITH YOU. 1500 00:54:25,956 --> 00:54:26,455 >> HE'S SHOWING OFF FOR ME. I WANT TO LAY WITH YOU. >> I SAID I CAN'T. 1501 00:54:26,457 --> 00:54:28,256 I WANT TO LAY WITH YOU. >> I SAID I CAN'T. >> WELL, THERE YOU HAVE IT, AND 1502 00:54:28,258 --> 00:54:30,392 >> I SAID I CAN'T. >> WELL, THERE YOU HAVE IT, AND I THINK WE'RE ALL DONE HERE. 1503 00:54:30,394 --> 00:54:32,160 >> WELL, THERE YOU HAVE IT, AND I THINK WE'RE ALL DONE HERE. VICKIE AND ALICIA. 1504 00:54:32,162 --> 00:54:35,630 I THINK WE'RE ALL DONE HERE. VICKIE AND ALICIA. >> SIR, IF I MAY JUST INCLUDE, 1505 00:54:35,632 --> 00:54:37,666 VICKIE AND ALICIA. >> SIR, IF I MAY JUST INCLUDE, THE TWO OF THEM ARE COUSINS. 1506 00:54:37,668 --> 00:54:39,000 >> SIR, IF I MAY JUST INCLUDE, THE TWO OF THEM ARE COUSINS. >> YES, I KNOW THAT. 1507 00:54:39,002 --> 00:54:40,669 THE TWO OF THEM ARE COUSINS. >> YES, I KNOW THAT. DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE 1508 00:54:40,671 --> 00:54:40,969 >> YES, I KNOW THAT. DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE FIRE. 1509 00:54:40,971 --> 00:54:42,304 DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE FIRE. >> NO, I DO NOT. 1510 00:54:42,306 --> 00:54:44,673 FIRE. >> NO, I DO NOT. BUT SINCE HE GOT TO DO A TRICK, 1511 00:54:44,675 --> 00:54:47,943 >> NO, I DO NOT. BUT SINCE HE GOT TO DO A TRICK, LOOK WHAT I CAN DO. 1512 00:54:47,945 --> 00:54:48,543 BUT SINCE HE GOT TO DO A TRICK, LOOK WHAT I CAN DO. >> OKAY. 1513 00:54:48,545 --> 00:54:50,278 LOOK WHAT I CAN DO. >> OKAY. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS. 1514 00:54:50,280 --> 00:54:51,046 >> OKAY. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS. AND I'M NOT REALLY HERE TO LOOK 1515 00:54:51,048 --> 00:54:53,248 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS. AND I'M NOT REALLY HERE TO LOOK AT TRICKS. 1516 00:54:53,250 --> 00:54:54,382 AND I'M NOT REALLY HERE TO LOOK AT TRICKS. >> HEY. 1517 00:54:54,384 --> 00:54:56,384 AT TRICKS. >> HEY. HE AIN'T EVEN MY COUSIN. 1518 00:54:56,386 --> 00:54:59,020 >> HEY. HE AIN'T EVEN MY COUSIN. HE'S ONLY MY COUSIN BECAUSE HE 1519 00:54:59,022 --> 00:55:05,694 HE AIN'T EVEN MY COUSIN. HE'S ONLY MY COUSIN BECAUSE HE MARRIED MY COUSIN. 1520 00:55:05,696 --> 00:55:08,263 HE'S ONLY MY COUSIN BECAUSE HE MARRIED MY COUSIN. SO, HEY, I CAN STILL GET WITH 1521 00:55:08,265 --> 00:55:09,898 MARRIED MY COUSIN. SO, HEY, I CAN STILL GET WITH YOU BECAUSE I WANT TO LAY WITH 1522 00:55:09,900 --> 00:55:10,198 SO, HEY, I CAN STILL GET WITH YOU BECAUSE I WANT TO LAY WITH YOU. 1523 00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:11,600 YOU BECAUSE I WANT TO LAY WITH YOU. >> NO ONE WANTS TO LAY WITH YOU. 1524 00:55:11,602 --> 00:55:13,235 YOU. >> NO ONE WANTS TO LAY WITH YOU. >> I BET YOU SOMEONE WILL. 1525 00:55:13,237 --> 00:55:14,803 >> NO ONE WANTS TO LAY WITH YOU. >> I BET YOU SOMEONE WILL. >> NO, THEY WON'T. 1526 00:55:14,805 --> 00:55:18,039 >> I BET YOU SOMEONE WILL. >> NO, THEY WON'T. BECAUSE YOU AIN'T GOT IT LIKE 1527 00:55:18,041 --> 00:55:18,340 >> NO, THEY WON'T. BECAUSE YOU AIN'T GOT IT LIKE THIS. 1528 00:55:18,342 --> 00:55:19,374 BECAUSE YOU AIN'T GOT IT LIKE THIS. >> LIKE HELL I DON'T. 1529 00:55:19,376 --> 00:55:20,876 THIS. >> LIKE HELL I DON'T. >> OKAY. 1530 00:55:20,878 --> 00:55:21,143 >> LIKE HELL I DON'T. >> OKAY. NO. 1531 00:55:21,145 --> 00:55:22,611 >> OKAY. NO. THIS CANNOT HAPPEN. 1532 00:55:22,613 --> 00:55:24,412 NO. THIS CANNOT HAPPEN. IT'S LITERALLY MY FIRST DAY. 1533 00:55:24,414 --> 00:55:26,414 THIS CANNOT HAPPEN. IT'S LITERALLY MY FIRST DAY. >> OH, SIR, IF I MAY. 1534 00:55:26,416 --> 00:55:30,919 IT'S LITERALLY MY FIRST DAY. >> OH, SIR, IF I MAY. I CAN CLEAR THIS UP 100%. 1535 00:55:30,921 --> 00:55:31,286 >> OH, SIR, IF I MAY. I CAN CLEAR THIS UP 100%. JUST -- 1536 00:55:31,288 --> 00:55:32,988 I CAN CLEAR THIS UP 100%. JUST -- >> JUST DON'T SAY THEY'RE 1537 00:55:32,990 --> 00:55:33,355 JUST -- >> JUST DON'T SAY THEY'RE COUSINS. 1538 00:55:33,357 --> 00:55:33,889 >> JUST DON'T SAY THEY'RE COUSINS. >> EXACTLY. 1539 00:55:33,891 --> 00:55:35,056 COUSINS. >> EXACTLY. THEY ARE COUSINS. 1540 00:55:35,058 --> 00:55:38,927 >> EXACTLY. THEY ARE COUSINS. ALSO, LOOK WHAT I CAN DO. 1541 00:55:38,929 --> 00:55:40,128 THEY ARE COUSINS. ALSO, LOOK WHAT I CAN DO. >> OKAY. 1542 00:55:40,130 --> 00:55:40,428 ALSO, LOOK WHAT I CAN DO. >> OKAY. YEAH. 1543 00:55:40,430 --> 00:55:41,997 >> OKAY. YEAH. NOW I'M UNFORTUNATELY SEEING A 1544 00:55:41,999 --> 00:55:44,666 YEAH. NOW I'M UNFORTUNATELY SEEING A LOT OF PEOPLE LINED UP, AND I'M 1545 00:55:44,668 --> 00:55:47,936 NOW I'M UNFORTUNATELY SEEING A LOT OF PEOPLE LINED UP, AND I'M ASSUMING NO ONE WANTS TO TALK 1546 00:55:47,938 --> 00:55:48,503 LOT OF PEOPLE LINED UP, AND I'M ASSUMING NO ONE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT THE FIRE. 1547 00:55:48,505 --> 00:55:49,638 ASSUMING NO ONE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT THE FIRE. >> I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT 1548 00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:50,038 ABOUT THE FIRE. >> I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT, SIR. 1549 00:55:50,040 --> 00:55:53,708 >> I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT, SIR. BUT LOOK WHAT I CAN DO. 1550 00:55:53,710 --> 00:55:54,876 THAT, SIR. BUT LOOK WHAT I CAN DO. >> THAT'S GREAT. 1551 00:55:54,878 --> 00:55:56,111 BUT LOOK WHAT I CAN DO. >> THAT'S GREAT. YOU'RE VERY TALENTED. 1552 00:55:56,113 --> 00:55:56,912 >> THAT'S GREAT. YOU'RE VERY TALENTED. >> LISTEN. 1553 00:55:56,914 --> 00:55:59,314 YOU'RE VERY TALENTED. >> LISTEN. THE REAL REASON I AM MAD AT HER, 1554 00:55:59,316 --> 00:56:02,250 >> LISTEN. THE REAL REASON I AM MAD AT HER, THE REAL REASON I AM MAD AT YOU 1555 00:56:02,252 --> 00:56:05,620 THE REAL REASON I AM MAD AT HER, THE REAL REASON I AM MAD AT YOU AND SET FIRE TO UPON YOUR HOUSE 1556 00:56:05,622 --> 00:56:09,024 THE REAL REASON I AM MAD AT YOU AND SET FIRE TO UPON YOUR HOUSE AND YOUR TRAMPOLINE UPON FIRE IS 1557 00:56:09,026 --> 00:56:11,326 AND SET FIRE TO UPON YOUR HOUSE AND YOUR TRAMPOLINE UPON FIRE IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT HAD SAID 1558 00:56:11,328 --> 00:56:13,261 AND YOUR TRAMPOLINE UPON FIRE IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT HAD SAID ONE NICE THING TO ME MY WHOLE 1559 00:56:13,263 --> 00:56:13,562 BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT HAD SAID ONE NICE THING TO ME MY WHOLE LIFE. 1560 00:56:13,564 --> 00:56:14,095 ONE NICE THING TO ME MY WHOLE LIFE. >> WHAT? 1561 00:56:14,097 --> 00:56:14,729 LIFE. >> WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS? 1562 00:56:14,731 --> 00:56:15,664 >> WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS? I LIKE YOU. 1563 00:56:15,666 --> 00:56:18,166 ARE YOU SERIOUS? I LIKE YOU. I LIKE YOUR SMILE. 1564 00:56:18,168 --> 00:56:20,202 I LIKE YOU. I LIKE YOUR SMILE. YOUR HOME EMBRACE IS WORTH. 1565 00:56:20,204 --> 00:56:21,937 I LIKE YOUR SMILE. YOUR HOME EMBRACE IS WORTH. YOU MAKE GOOD FRENCH BREAD 1566 00:56:21,939 --> 00:56:24,039 YOUR HOME EMBRACE IS WORTH. YOU MAKE GOOD FRENCH BREAD PIZZA, AND I'M SORRY THAT THE 1567 00:56:24,041 --> 00:56:26,074 YOU MAKE GOOD FRENCH BREAD PIZZA, AND I'M SORRY THAT THE YEARS HAVE TORN US APART IN TERM 1568 00:56:26,076 --> 00:56:27,175 PIZZA, AND I'M SORRY THAT THE YEARS HAVE TORN US APART IN TERM OF BEING COUSINS. 1569 00:56:27,177 --> 00:56:28,777 YEARS HAVE TORN US APART IN TERM OF BEING COUSINS. >> SO NOW WHAT? 1570 00:56:28,779 --> 00:56:31,246 OF BEING COUSINS. >> SO NOW WHAT? >> I GUESS MAKE UP? 1571 00:56:31,248 --> 00:56:31,613 >> SO NOW WHAT? >> I GUESS MAKE UP? >> YEAH. 1572 00:56:31,615 --> 00:56:33,481 >> I GUESS MAKE UP? >> YEAH. >> NO. 1573 00:56:33,483 --> 00:56:33,748 >> YEAH. >> NO. NO. 1574 00:56:33,750 --> 00:56:35,217 >> NO. NO. DO NOT FILM THESE THREE COUSINS 1575 00:56:35,219 --> 00:56:38,453 NO. DO NOT FILM THESE THREE COUSINS KISSING. 1576 00:56:38,455 --> 00:56:40,922 DO NOT FILM THESE THREE COUSINS KISSING. WELL, IT WAS MY FIRST DAY, AND 1577 00:56:40,924 --> 00:56:43,658 KISSING. WELL, IT WAS MY FIRST DAY, AND I'M ASSUMING IT'S MY LAST. 1578 00:56:43,660 --> 00:56:45,393 WELL, IT WAS MY FIRST DAY, AND I'M ASSUMING IT'S MY LAST. SO IN THAT CASE, WHAT THE HELL. 1579 00:56:45,395 --> 00:57:02,060 I'M ASSUMING IT'S MY LAST. SO IN THAT CASE, WHAT THE HELL. LOOK WHAT I CAN DO. 1580 00:57:16,542 --> 00:57:24,082 >>> SORRY, ROBIN, BUT DRAW FOUR. >> OH, MAN. >> HAHAHA. 1581 00:57:24,084 --> 00:57:24,583 >> OH, MAN. >> HAHAHA. SUCKS TO BE YOU. 1582 00:57:24,585 --> 00:57:25,717 >> HAHAHA. SUCKS TO BE YOU. >> SAVE YOUR GLOATING. 1583 00:57:25,719 --> 00:57:26,918 SUCKS TO BE YOU. >> SAVE YOUR GLOATING. >> YOU'RE RIGHT. 1584 00:57:26,920 --> 00:57:29,621 >> SAVE YOUR GLOATING. >> YOU'RE RIGHT. SORRY TO GET SO COMPETITIVE, 1585 00:57:29,623 --> 00:57:29,921 >> YOU'RE RIGHT. SORRY TO GET SO COMPETITIVE, GUYS. 1586 00:57:29,923 --> 00:57:31,022 SORRY TO GET SO COMPETITIVE, GUYS. >> IT'S FINE, GLENN. 1587 00:57:31,024 --> 00:57:32,824 GUYS. >> IT'S FINE, GLENN. >> NO, IT'S NOT FINE. 1588 00:57:32,826 --> 00:57:33,825 >> IT'S FINE, GLENN. >> NO, IT'S NOT FINE. IT'S SOMETHING I HAVE BEEN 1589 00:57:33,827 --> 00:57:34,826 >> NO, IT'S NOT FINE. IT'S SOMETHING I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON IN THERAPY. 1590 00:57:34,828 --> 00:57:37,128 IT'S SOMETHING I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON IN THERAPY. >> YOU GO TO THERAPY? 1591 00:57:37,130 --> 00:57:38,430 WORKING ON IN THERAPY. >> YOU GO TO THERAPY? THAT'S LIKE REALLY SURPRISING. 1592 00:57:38,432 --> 00:57:41,232 >> YOU GO TO THERAPY? THAT'S LIKE REALLY SURPRISING. >> SERIOUSLY, TALK ABOUT A 1593 00:57:41,234 --> 00:57:41,700 THAT'S LIKE REALLY SURPRISING. >> SERIOUSLY, TALK ABOUT A COMPLETE 180. 1594 00:57:41,702 --> 00:57:44,502 >> SERIOUSLY, TALK ABOUT A COMPLETE 180. >> I KNOW, REMEMBER HOW CRANKY 1595 00:57:44,504 --> 00:57:45,704 COMPLETE 180. >> I KNOW, REMEMBER HOW CRANKY HE USED TO BE? 1596 00:57:45,706 --> 00:57:47,305 >> I KNOW, REMEMBER HOW CRANKY HE USED TO BE? >> THAT'S ONE WAY TO PUT IT. 1597 00:57:47,307 --> 00:57:49,341 HE USED TO BE? >> THAT'S ONE WAY TO PUT IT. >> I WOULD HAVE SAID TOXIC AS A 1598 00:57:49,343 --> 00:57:49,641 >> THAT'S ONE WAY TO PUT IT. >> I WOULD HAVE SAID TOXIC AS A MUG. 1599 00:57:49,643 --> 00:57:50,575 >> I WOULD HAVE SAID TOXIC AS A MUG. >> OKAY. 1600 00:57:50,577 --> 00:57:50,976 MUG. >> OKAY. YOU GOT ME. 1601 00:57:50,978 --> 00:57:53,044 >> OKAY. YOU GOT ME. >> HONESTLY, EVER SINCE I 1602 00:57:53,046 --> 00:57:54,779 YOU GOT ME. >> HONESTLY, EVER SINCE I FINALLY CONVINCED HIM TO GO TO 1603 00:57:54,781 --> 00:57:58,350 >> HONESTLY, EVER SINCE I FINALLY CONVINCED HIM TO GO TO BIG PENIS THERAPY, HE'S BEEN SO 1604 00:57:58,352 --> 00:57:58,783 FINALLY CONVINCED HIM TO GO TO BIG PENIS THERAPY, HE'S BEEN SO MUCH HAPPIER. 1605 00:57:58,785 --> 00:58:00,185 BIG PENIS THERAPY, HE'S BEEN SO MUCH HAPPIER. HE'S LIKE A NEW PERSON. 1606 00:58:00,187 --> 00:58:01,252 MUCH HAPPIER. HE'S LIKE A NEW PERSON. >> ONE MORE TIME. 1607 00:58:01,254 --> 00:58:04,556 HE'S LIKE A NEW PERSON. >> ONE MORE TIME. >> DID YOU SAY BIG PENIS 1608 00:58:04,558 --> 00:58:04,889 >> ONE MORE TIME. >> DID YOU SAY BIG PENIS THERAPY? 1609 00:58:04,891 --> 00:58:05,290 >> DID YOU SAY BIG PENIS THERAPY? >> YEAH. 1610 00:58:05,292 --> 00:58:07,759 THERAPY? >> YEAH. IT'S A PLACE WHERE I CAN FINALLY 1611 00:58:07,761 --> 00:58:09,761 >> YEAH. IT'S A PLACE WHERE I CAN FINALLY OPEN UP ABOUT MY PROBLEMS WITH 1612 00:58:09,763 --> 00:58:12,964 IT'S A PLACE WHERE I CAN FINALLY OPEN UP ABOUT MY PROBLEMS WITH MY DAD, MY INSECURITIES, MY RAGE 1613 00:58:12,966 --> 00:58:13,298 OPEN UP ABOUT MY PROBLEMS WITH MY DAD, MY INSECURITIES, MY RAGE ISSUES. 1614 00:58:13,300 --> 00:58:15,567 MY DAD, MY INSECURITIES, MY RAGE ISSUES. >> THAT SOUNDS LIKE REGULAR 1615 00:58:15,569 --> 00:58:15,900 ISSUES. >> THAT SOUNDS LIKE REGULAR THERAPY? 1616 00:58:15,902 --> 00:58:17,869 >> THAT SOUNDS LIKE REGULAR THERAPY? LET'S GO BACK TO THE GAME. 1617 00:58:17,871 --> 00:58:20,205 THERAPY? LET'S GO BACK TO THE GAME. WHO'S TURN IS IT? 1618 00:58:20,207 --> 00:58:21,906 LET'S GO BACK TO THE GAME. WHO'S TURN IS IT? >> SHE HAS BEEN TRYING TO GET ME 1619 00:58:21,908 --> 00:58:24,442 WHO'S TURN IS IT? >> SHE HAS BEEN TRYING TO GET ME TO GO TO THERAPY EVER SINCE I 1620 00:58:24,444 --> 00:58:25,410 >> SHE HAS BEEN TRYING TO GET ME TO GO TO THERAPY EVER SINCE I CHEATED ON HER. 1621 00:58:25,412 --> 00:58:26,845 TO GO TO THERAPY EVER SINCE I CHEATED ON HER. YOU REMEMBER THAT, BABE? 1622 00:58:26,847 --> 00:58:28,380 CHEATED ON HER. YOU REMEMBER THAT, BABE? >> I SURE DO. 1623 00:58:28,382 --> 00:58:30,949 YOU REMEMBER THAT, BABE? >> I SURE DO. >> THERAPY ALWAYS SEEMED TO 1624 00:58:30,951 --> 00:58:33,184 >> I SURE DO. >> THERAPY ALWAYS SEEMED TO FRUITY, BUT THEN I HEARD ABOUT 1625 00:58:33,186 --> 00:58:36,521 >> THERAPY ALWAYS SEEMED TO FRUITY, BUT THEN I HEARD ABOUT BIG PENIS THERAPY FOR MEN WITH 1626 00:58:36,523 --> 00:58:38,990 FRUITY, BUT THEN I HEARD ABOUT BIG PENIS THERAPY FOR MEN WITH BIG OLD PENISES LIKE MINE. 1627 00:58:38,992 --> 00:58:43,194 BIG PENIS THERAPY FOR MEN WITH BIG OLD PENISES LIKE MINE. >> BIG PENIS THERAPY HELPS 1628 00:58:43,196 --> 00:58:44,629 BIG OLD PENISES LIKE MINE. >> BIG PENIS THERAPY HELPS DESTIGMATIZE MEN FOR WORKING ON 1629 00:58:44,631 --> 00:58:46,131 >> BIG PENIS THERAPY HELPS DESTIGMATIZE MEN FOR WORKING ON THEIR MENTAL HEALTH. 1630 00:58:46,133 --> 00:58:49,901 DESTIGMATIZE MEN FOR WORKING ON THEIR MENTAL HEALTH. >> THE GUYS RAISED ME, BUT THEN 1631 00:58:49,903 --> 00:58:52,370 THEIR MENTAL HEALTH. >> THE GUYS RAISED ME, BUT THEN I SHOWED THEM MY SWEET DAMAGE 1632 00:58:52,372 --> 00:58:54,706 >> THE GUYS RAISED ME, BUT THEN I SHOWED THEM MY SWEET DAMAGE FOR COMPLETING SIX MONTHS, AND 1633 00:58:54,708 --> 00:58:57,575 I SHOWED THEM MY SWEET DAMAGE FOR COMPLETING SIX MONTHS, AND NOW THEY WANT THERAPY TOO. 1634 00:58:57,577 --> 00:59:06,918 FOR COMPLETING SIX MONTHS, AND NOW THEY WANT THERAPY TOO. >> GOD FORGIVE MY PAINES? 1635 00:59:06,920 --> 00:59:07,652 NOW THEY WANT THERAPY TOO. >> GOD FORGIVE MY PAINES? WHAT'S THAT? 1636 00:59:07,654 --> 00:59:09,954 >> GOD FORGIVE MY PAINES? WHAT'S THAT? >> MAYBE I SHOULD TELL MY JAKE 1637 00:59:09,956 --> 00:59:10,655 WHAT'S THAT? >> MAYBE I SHOULD TELL MY JAKE ABOUT THIS. 1638 00:59:10,657 --> 00:59:13,892 >> MAYBE I SHOULD TELL MY JAKE ABOUT THIS. >> ARE YOU SURE JAKE QUALIFIES? 1639 00:59:13,894 --> 00:59:15,060 ABOUT THIS. >> ARE YOU SURE JAKE QUALIFIES? >> ACTUALLY, HE'S PRETTY OKAY. 1640 00:59:15,062 --> 00:59:17,996 >> ARE YOU SURE JAKE QUALIFIES? >> ACTUALLY, HE'S PRETTY OKAY. >> WELL, UNFORTUNATELY, IT'S NOT 1641 00:59:17,998 --> 00:59:20,298 >> ACTUALLY, HE'S PRETTY OKAY. >> WELL, UNFORTUNATELY, IT'S NOT PRETTY OKAY SIZED THERAPY. 1642 00:59:20,300 --> 00:59:22,167 >> WELL, UNFORTUNATELY, IT'S NOT PRETTY OKAY SIZED THERAPY. IT'S THERAPY FOR GUYS WITH GREAT 1643 00:59:22,169 --> 00:59:25,670 PRETTY OKAY SIZED THERAPY. IT'S THERAPY FOR GUYS WITH GREAT BIG ONES LIKE MINE, OR SHAQ'S OR 1644 00:59:25,672 --> 00:59:27,505 IT'S THERAPY FOR GUYS WITH GREAT BIG ONES LIKE MINE, OR SHAQ'S OR GUYS FROM LONG NATURALS 1645 00:59:27,507 --> 00:59:27,872 BIG ONES LIKE MINE, OR SHAQ'S OR GUYS FROM LONG NATURALS MAGAZINE. 1646 00:59:27,874 --> 00:59:29,407 GUYS FROM LONG NATURALS MAGAZINE. >> SIZE ISN'T REALLY IMPORTANT. 1647 00:59:29,409 --> 00:59:30,408 MAGAZINE. >> SIZE ISN'T REALLY IMPORTANT. >> PLEASE DON'T SAY THAT. 1648 00:59:30,410 --> 00:59:32,444 >> SIZE ISN'T REALLY IMPORTANT. >> PLEASE DON'T SAY THAT. >> IT'S OKAY, HONEY. 1649 00:59:32,446 --> 00:59:34,879 >> PLEASE DON'T SAY THAT. >> IT'S OKAY, HONEY. IT ACTUALLY IS IMPORTANT, AND 1650 00:59:34,881 --> 00:59:36,881 >> IT'S OKAY, HONEY. IT ACTUALLY IS IMPORTANT, AND BEFORE THERAPY, I WOULD HAVE 1651 00:59:36,883 --> 00:59:38,717 IT ACTUALLY IS IMPORTANT, AND BEFORE THERAPY, I WOULD HAVE CALLED YOU A STUCK UP BITCH FOR 1652 00:59:38,719 --> 00:59:40,518 BEFORE THERAPY, I WOULD HAVE CALLED YOU A STUCK UP BITCH FOR SAYING THAT, BUT NOW I WON'T. 1653 00:59:40,520 --> 00:59:42,754 CALLED YOU A STUCK UP BITCH FOR SAYING THAT, BUT NOW I WON'T. >> DID THEY MEASURE YOUR PENIS 1654 00:59:42,756 --> 00:59:44,456 SAYING THAT, BUT NOW I WON'T. >> DID THEY MEASURE YOUR PENIS FIRST TO MAKE SURE YOU QUALIFY? 1655 00:59:44,458 --> 00:59:46,691 >> DID THEY MEASURE YOUR PENIS FIRST TO MAKE SURE YOU QUALIFY? >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 1656 00:59:46,693 --> 00:59:49,060 FIRST TO MAKE SURE YOU QUALIFY? >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN? >> I'M JUST SAYING, HOW DO THEY 1657 00:59:49,062 --> 00:59:50,462 >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN? >> I'M JUST SAYING, HOW DO THEY KNOW IF YOU HAVE A BIG -- 1658 00:59:50,464 --> 00:59:52,597 >> I'M JUST SAYING, HOW DO THEY KNOW IF YOU HAVE A BIG -- >> THEY DON'T HAVE TO MEASURE. 1659 00:59:52,599 --> 00:59:54,566 KNOW IF YOU HAVE A BIG -- >> THEY DON'T HAVE TO MEASURE. >> HONEY, RELAX. 1660 00:59:54,568 --> 00:59:55,533 >> THEY DON'T HAVE TO MEASURE. >> HONEY, RELAX. IT'S A GOOD QUESTION. 1661 00:59:55,535 --> 00:59:58,269 >> HONEY, RELAX. IT'S A GOOD QUESTION. THE DOCTORS CAN TELL FROM YOUR 1662 00:59:58,271 --> 00:59:59,938 IT'S A GOOD QUESTION. THE DOCTORS CAN TELL FROM YOUR OVERALL VIBE IF YOU HAVE A BABY 1663 00:59:59,940 --> 01:00:01,339 THE DOCTORS CAN TELL FROM YOUR OVERALL VIBE IF YOU HAVE A BABY LEG LIKE I DO. 1664 01:00:01,341 --> 01:00:02,974 OVERALL VIBE IF YOU HAVE A BABY LEG LIKE I DO. >> WELL, WHATEVER THEY'RE DOING, 1665 01:00:02,976 --> 01:00:05,143 LEG LIKE I DO. >> WELL, WHATEVER THEY'RE DOING, IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING FOR YOU. 1666 01:00:05,145 --> 01:00:06,244 >> WELL, WHATEVER THEY'RE DOING, IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING FOR YOU. >> THAT'S TRUE. 1667 01:00:06,246 --> 01:00:08,513 IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING FOR YOU. >> THAT'S TRUE. YOU SEEMED TO HAVE EVEN LOST 1668 01:00:08,515 --> 01:00:08,847 >> THAT'S TRUE. YOU SEEMED TO HAVE EVEN LOST WEIGHT. 1669 01:00:08,849 --> 01:00:12,817 YOU SEEMED TO HAVE EVEN LOST WEIGHT. >> THAT'S ALL THANKS TO MY FAT 1670 01:00:12,819 --> 01:00:14,719 WEIGHT. >> THAT'S ALL THANKS TO MY FAT ROD VEGAN PLANT. 1671 01:00:14,721 --> 01:00:18,289 >> THAT'S ALL THANKS TO MY FAT ROD VEGAN PLANT. >> HE'S ALSO DRINKING 1672 01:00:18,291 --> 01:00:18,857 ROD VEGAN PLANT. >> HE'S ALSO DRINKING NONALCOHOLIC BEERS. 1673 01:00:18,859 --> 01:00:21,960 >> HE'S ALSO DRINKING NONALCOHOLIC BEERS. >> AND I ALSO JOINED AN ACTIVIST 1674 01:00:21,962 --> 01:00:29,000 NONALCOHOLIC BEERS. >> AND I ALSO JOINED AN ACTIVIST GROUP CALLED THREE EYED MONSTER 1675 01:00:29,002 --> 01:00:29,334 >> AND I ALSO JOINED AN ACTIVIST GROUP CALLED THREE EYED MONSTER PECKERS. 1676 01:00:29,336 --> 01:00:30,535 GROUP CALLED THREE EYED MONSTER PECKERS. >> WELL, GOOD. 1677 01:00:30,537 --> 01:00:32,537 PECKERS. >> WELL, GOOD. BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO 1678 01:00:32,539 --> 01:00:32,937 >> WELL, GOOD. BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DRAW FOUR. 1679 01:00:32,939 --> 01:00:34,939 BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DRAW FOUR. >> AND BABE, YOU ONLY HAD ONE 1680 01:00:34,941 --> 01:00:35,707 DRAW FOUR. >> AND BABE, YOU ONLY HAD ONE LEFT. 1681 01:00:35,709 --> 01:00:36,207 >> AND BABE, YOU ONLY HAD ONE LEFT. YOU ALMOST WON. 1682 01:00:36,209 --> 01:00:39,010 LEFT. YOU ALMOST WON. >> STOP MAKING FUN OF ME! 1683 01:00:39,012 --> 01:00:41,379 YOU ALMOST WON. >> STOP MAKING FUN OF ME! >> BIG PENIS THERAPY, IT'S 1684 01:00:41,381 --> 01:00:42,413 >> STOP MAKING FUN OF ME! >> BIG PENIS THERAPY, IT'S THERAPY. 1685 01:00:53,092 --> 01:01:00,598 >>> ONCE AGAIN, STEVE LACY. ♪ OH-OH, I'D BEEN CONSUMED I'M NOT FOR SALE MAN 1686 01:01:00,600 --> 01:01:02,233 ♪ OH-OH, I'D BEEN CONSUMED I'M NOT FOR SALE MAN WHAT THE HELL 1687 01:01:02,235 --> 01:01:04,936 I'M NOT FOR SALE MAN WHAT THE HELL I BEEN WITH YOU ♪ 1688 01:01:04,938 --> 01:01:07,172 WHAT THE HELL I BEEN WITH YOU ♪ ♪ AND THIS AIN'T 1689 01:01:07,174 --> 01:01:14,679 I BEEN WITH YOU ♪ ♪ AND THIS AIN'T GON' LAST ME FOREVER 1690 01:01:14,681 --> 01:01:16,247 ♪ AND THIS AIN'T GON' LAST ME FOREVER ALL THAT I CAN BE 1691 01:01:16,249 --> 01:01:17,882 GON' LAST ME FOREVER ALL THAT I CAN BE IS ME AND ALL ME ♪ 1692 01:01:17,884 --> 01:01:19,484 ALL THAT I CAN BE IS ME AND ALL ME ♪ ♪ TIME TO GET OUT 1693 01:01:19,486 --> 01:01:22,187 IS ME AND ALL ME ♪ ♪ TIME TO GET OUT I DON'T WANT YOU AROUND 1694 01:01:22,189 --> 01:01:24,889 ♪ TIME TO GET OUT I DON'T WANT YOU AROUND ALL THAT I CAN SEE 1695 01:01:24,891 --> 01:01:27,592 I DON'T WANT YOU AROUND ALL THAT I CAN SEE IS YOU WITHOUT ME ♪ 1696 01:01:27,594 --> 01:01:29,227 ALL THAT I CAN SEE IS YOU WITHOUT ME ♪ ♪ NO, I CAN'T SCOLD YOU 1697 01:01:29,229 --> 01:01:34,065 IS YOU WITHOUT ME ♪ ♪ NO, I CAN'T SCOLD YOU HOWEVER 1698 01:01:34,067 --> 01:01:36,201 ♪ NO, I CAN'T SCOLD YOU HOWEVER I TRIED TO PLAY PRETEND 1699 01:01:36,203 --> 01:01:38,870 HOWEVER I TRIED TO PLAY PRETEND TRY NOT TO SEE THE END ♪ 1700 01:01:38,872 --> 01:01:40,505 I TRIED TO PLAY PRETEND TRY NOT TO SEE THE END ♪ ♪ BUT I COULDN'T SEE YOU 1701 01:01:40,507 --> 01:01:41,573 TRY NOT TO SEE THE END ♪ ♪ BUT I COULDN'T SEE YOU THE WAY YOU SAW ME 1702 01:01:41,575 --> 01:01:42,640 ♪ BUT I COULDN'T SEE YOU THE WAY YOU SAW ME NOW I CAN FEEL 1703 01:01:42,642 --> 01:01:44,242 THE WAY YOU SAW ME NOW I CAN FEEL THE WASTE ON ME ♪ 1704 01:01:44,244 --> 01:01:46,377 NOW I CAN FEEL THE WASTE ON ME ♪ ♪ I TRIED MY BEST 1705 01:01:46,379 --> 01:01:49,581 THE WASTE ON ME ♪ ♪ I TRIED MY BEST TO BE WORTH ALL YOUR WHILE 1706 01:01:49,583 --> 01:01:51,749 ♪ I TRIED MY BEST TO BE WORTH ALL YOUR WHILE YOU JUST GOTTA LET ME GO 1707 01:01:51,751 --> 01:02:01,926 TO BE WORTH ALL YOUR WHILE YOU JUST GOTTA LET ME GO AS I'M TRYNA LET GO OF YOU ♪ 1708 01:02:01,928 --> 01:02:06,197 YOU JUST GOTTA LET ME GO AS I'M TRYNA LET GO OF YOU ♪ ♪ SHO-DOO, DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO 1709 01:02:06,199 --> 01:02:14,272 AS I'M TRYNA LET GO OF YOU ♪ ♪ SHO-DOO, DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO DOO-DOO-DOO, DOO-DOO-DOO 1710 01:02:14,274 --> 01:02:16,407 ♪ SHO-DOO, DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO DOO-DOO-DOO, DOO-DOO-DOO OOH-OOH, I'LL BE THERE SOON 1711 01:02:16,409 --> 01:02:19,143 DOO-DOO-DOO, DOO-DOO-DOO OOH-OOH, I'LL BE THERE SOON I'M KINDA SAD ♪ 1712 01:02:19,145 --> 01:02:22,347 OOH-OOH, I'LL BE THERE SOON I'M KINDA SAD ♪ ♪ WHAT SHOULD I DO 1713 01:02:22,349 --> 01:02:22,881 I'M KINDA SAD ♪ ♪ WHAT SHOULD I DO WHAT SHOULD I DO 1714 01:02:22,883 --> 01:02:24,449 ♪ WHAT SHOULD I DO WHAT SHOULD I DO GUESS I'LL MOVE ON 1715 01:02:24,451 --> 01:02:27,652 WHAT SHOULD I DO GUESS I'LL MOVE ON LOVE WON'T HARASS ME ♪ 1716 01:02:27,654 --> 01:02:31,422 GUESS I'LL MOVE ON LOVE WON'T HARASS ME ♪ ♪ FOREVER 1717 01:02:31,424 --> 01:02:34,125 LOVE WON'T HARASS ME ♪ ♪ FOREVER ALL THAT I COULD BE 1718 01:02:34,127 --> 01:02:37,328 ♪ FOREVER ALL THAT I COULD BE IS ME AND ALL ME 1719 01:02:37,330 --> 01:02:39,998 ALL THAT I COULD BE IS ME AND ALL ME ALL THAT NOSTALGIA ♪ 1720 01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:42,166 IS ME AND ALL ME ALL THAT NOSTALGIA ♪ ♪ BEEN UP ON A DOWNER 1721 01:02:42,168 --> 01:02:44,302 ALL THAT NOSTALGIA ♪ ♪ BEEN UP ON A DOWNER I CAN'T MAKE YOUR EYES SEE 1722 01:02:44,304 --> 01:02:46,437 ♪ BEEN UP ON A DOWNER I CAN'T MAKE YOUR EYES SEE GON' BE WHAT IT'S GON' BE 1723 01:02:46,439 --> 01:02:49,173 I CAN'T MAKE YOUR EYES SEE GON' BE WHAT IT'S GON' BE DON'T COME BACK AROUND ME ♪ 1724 01:02:49,175 --> 01:02:52,911 GON' BE WHAT IT'S GON' BE DON'T COME BACK AROUND ME ♪ ♪ NO, NEVER 1725 01:02:52,913 --> 01:02:56,147 DON'T COME BACK AROUND ME ♪ ♪ NO, NEVER YOU WERE SO AUTOMATIC 1726 01:02:56,149 --> 01:02:58,283 ♪ NO, NEVER YOU WERE SO AUTOMATIC SO YOU KNOW I HAD TO HAVE IT 1727 01:02:58,285 --> 01:03:00,985 YOU WERE SO AUTOMATIC SO YOU KNOW I HAD TO HAVE IT BUT LOVIN YOU WAS A HAZARD ♪ 1728 01:03:00,987 --> 01:03:07,458 SO YOU KNOW I HAD TO HAVE IT BUT LOVIN YOU WAS A HAZARD ♪ ♪ SO I GOT MY HEART A HELMET 1729 01:03:07,460 --> 01:03:09,027 BUT LOVIN YOU WAS A HAZARD ♪ ♪ SO I GOT MY HEART A HELMET I TRIED MY BEST 1730 01:03:09,029 --> 01:03:09,661 ♪ SO I GOT MY HEART A HELMET I TRIED MY BEST TO BE WORTH ALL YOUR WHILE 1731 01:03:09,663 --> 01:03:10,662 I TRIED MY BEST TO BE WORTH ALL YOUR WHILE YOU JUST GOTTA LET ME GO ♪ 1732 01:03:10,664 --> 01:03:19,370 TO BE WORTH ALL YOUR WHILE YOU JUST GOTTA LET ME GO ♪ ♪ AS I'M TRYNA LET GO OF YOU 1733 01:03:19,372 --> 01:03:19,637 YOU JUST GOTTA LET ME GO ♪ ♪ AS I'M TRYNA LET GO OF YOU ♪ 1734 01:03:19,639 --> 01:03:21,506 ♪ AS I'M TRYNA LET GO OF YOU ♪ LET ME LET ME 1735 01:03:21,508 --> 01:03:29,013 ♪ LET ME LET ME ALLOW ME TO LET GO OF YOU 1736 01:03:29,015 --> 01:03:34,419 LET ME LET ME ALLOW ME TO LET GO OF YOU OH-OH, LET ME, LET ME GO ♪ 1737 01:03:34,421 --> 01:03:37,588 ALLOW ME TO LET GO OF YOU OH-OH, LET ME, LET ME GO ♪ ♪ OH, NO-OH, OH-OH, OH 1738 01:03:37,590 --> 01:03:49,400 OH-OH, LET ME, LET ME GO ♪ ♪ OH, NO-OH, OH-OH, OH YEAH ♪ 1739 01:03:49,402 --> 01:04:00,712 ♪ OH, NO-OH, OH-OH, OH YEAH ♪ ♪ 1740 01:04:00,714 --> 01:04:14,792 YEAH ♪ ♪ ♪ 1741 01:04:14,794 --> 01:04:31,926 ♪ ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1742 01:04:31,928 --> 01:04:34,028 ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> FALL. 1743 01:04:34,030 --> 01:04:37,265 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> FALL. >> BEAUTY. 1744 01:04:37,267 --> 01:04:38,433 >>> FALL. >> BEAUTY. >> WOMEN. 1745 01:04:38,435 --> 01:04:40,101 >> BEAUTY. >> WOMEN. >> HEY, GIRLY. 1746 01:04:40,103 --> 01:04:41,269 >> WOMEN. >> HEY, GIRLY. >> ARE YOU LIKE US? 1747 01:04:41,271 --> 01:04:43,504 >> HEY, GIRLY. >> ARE YOU LIKE US? A WELL-OFF WOMAN WITH PERFECT 1748 01:04:43,506 --> 01:04:45,606 >> ARE YOU LIKE US? A WELL-OFF WOMAN WITH PERFECT MAKEUP AND LONG, STRAIGHT HAIR? 1749 01:04:45,608 --> 01:04:48,810 A WELL-OFF WOMAN WITH PERFECT MAKEUP AND LONG, STRAIGHT HAIR? >> ARE YOU BETWEEN 20 AND 45 AND 1750 01:04:48,812 --> 01:04:49,911 MAKEUP AND LONG, STRAIGHT HAIR? >> ARE YOU BETWEEN 20 AND 45 AND IT'S FALL OUTSIDE? 1751 01:04:49,913 --> 01:04:53,514 >> ARE YOU BETWEEN 20 AND 45 AND IT'S FALL OUTSIDE? >> DO YOU WANT A PERSONALITY YOU 1752 01:04:53,516 --> 01:04:55,083 IT'S FALL OUTSIDE? >> DO YOU WANT A PERSONALITY YOU CAN WEAR ON YOUR HEAD? 1753 01:04:55,085 --> 01:04:57,952 >> DO YOU WANT A PERSONALITY YOU CAN WEAR ON YOUR HEAD? >> THEN YOU NEED, BIG DUMB HATS. 1754 01:04:57,954 --> 01:04:59,187 CAN WEAR ON YOUR HEAD? >> THEN YOU NEED, BIG DUMB HATS. >> THIS IS THE HAT THAT MAKES 1755 01:04:59,189 --> 01:05:02,457 >> THEN YOU NEED, BIG DUMB HATS. >> THIS IS THE HAT THAT MAKES EVERYONE SAY, OH, HER. 1756 01:05:02,459 --> 01:05:04,692 >> THIS IS THE HAT THAT MAKES EVERYONE SAY, OH, HER. >> THE HAT THAT MAKES PEOPLE 1757 01:05:04,694 --> 01:05:07,028 EVERYONE SAY, OH, HER. >> THE HAT THAT MAKES PEOPLE THINK, OH, SHE WENT HAT. 1758 01:05:07,030 --> 01:05:09,063 >> THE HAT THAT MAKES PEOPLE THINK, OH, SHE WENT HAT. >> THE HAT THAT SAYS, WHEN I WAS 1759 01:05:09,065 --> 01:05:09,797 THINK, OH, SHE WENT HAT. >> THE HAT THAT SAYS, WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, I WASN'T MEAN OR 1760 01:05:09,799 --> 01:05:14,602 >> THE HAT THAT SAYS, WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, I WASN'T MEAN OR NICE. 1761 01:05:14,604 --> 01:05:14,936 IN HIGH SCHOOL, I WASN'T MEAN OR NICE. >> BIG. 1762 01:05:14,938 --> 01:05:15,303 NICE. >> BIG. >> DUMB. 1763 01:05:15,305 --> 01:05:16,003 >> BIG. >> DUMB. >> HATS. 1764 01:05:16,005 --> 01:05:20,541 >> DUMB. >> HATS. >> BIG DUMB HAT COMES IN COLORS, 1765 01:05:20,543 --> 01:05:22,510 >> HATS. >> BIG DUMB HAT COMES IN COLORS, LIKE TAN OR THAT'S IT. 1766 01:05:22,512 --> 01:05:24,879 >> BIG DUMB HAT COMES IN COLORS, LIKE TAN OR THAT'S IT. >> AND THE RIM IS PERFECT TO 1767 01:05:24,881 --> 01:05:27,048 LIKE TAN OR THAT'S IT. >> AND THE RIM IS PERFECT TO TOUCH SO PEOPLE SEE YOUR BIG 1768 01:05:27,050 --> 01:05:29,083 >> AND THE RIM IS PERFECT TO TOUCH SO PEOPLE SEE YOUR BIG DUMB ENGAGEMENT RING. 1769 01:05:29,085 --> 01:05:31,252 TOUCH SO PEOPLE SEE YOUR BIG DUMB ENGAGEMENT RING. OH, THIS? 1770 01:05:31,254 --> 01:05:34,055 DUMB ENGAGEMENT RING. OH, THIS? YEAH, IT A BIGGY. 1771 01:05:34,057 --> 01:05:40,495 OH, THIS? YEAH, IT A BIGGY. >> AM I A COWGIRL IN NO, GIRL. 1772 01:05:40,497 --> 01:05:44,399 YEAH, IT A BIGGY. >> AM I A COWGIRL IN NO, GIRL. >> I'M PLANT BASED, EXCEPT FOR 1773 01:05:44,401 --> 01:05:44,832 >> AM I A COWGIRL IN NO, GIRL. >> I'M PLANT BASED, EXCEPT FOR MY COY BASE. 1774 01:05:44,834 --> 01:05:47,135 >> I'M PLANT BASED, EXCEPT FOR MY COY BASE. >> IF YOU SEE ME WEARING AT THE 1775 01:05:47,137 --> 01:05:49,070 MY COY BASE. >> IF YOU SEE ME WEARING AT THE AIRPORT, YOU KNOW I'M GOING TO 1776 01:05:49,072 --> 01:05:51,239 >> IF YOU SEE ME WEARING AT THE AIRPORT, YOU KNOW I'M GOING TO PUSH MY WAY ON BEFORE MY 1777 01:05:51,241 --> 01:05:51,739 AIRPORT, YOU KNOW I'M GOING TO PUSH MY WAY ON BEFORE MY BOARDING GROUP. 1778 01:05:51,741 --> 01:05:52,440 PUSH MY WAY ON BEFORE MY BOARDING GROUP. >> WOW. 1779 01:05:52,442 --> 01:05:54,842 BOARDING GROUP. >> WOW. IS YOUR HAT EVEN BIGGER THAN 1780 01:05:54,844 --> 01:05:55,176 >> WOW. IS YOUR HAT EVEN BIGGER THAN BEFORE? 1781 01:05:55,178 --> 01:05:56,878 IS YOUR HAT EVEN BIGGER THAN BEFORE? >> YOU TELL ME. 1782 01:05:56,880 --> 01:05:58,946 BEFORE? >> YOU TELL ME. >> YOU CAN WEAR BIG DUMB HAT 1783 01:05:58,948 --> 01:06:00,248 >> YOU TELL ME. >> YOU CAN WEAR BIG DUMB HAT ANYWHERE. 1784 01:06:00,250 --> 01:06:00,882 >> YOU CAN WEAR BIG DUMB HAT ANYWHERE. THE BEACH. 1785 01:06:00,884 --> 01:06:02,550 ANYWHERE. THE BEACH. >> OR A SOCCER GAME. 1786 01:06:02,552 --> 01:06:05,119 THE BEACH. >> OR A SOCCER GAME. >> IF YOU SEE THIS HAT IN 1787 01:06:05,121 --> 01:06:06,621 >> OR A SOCCER GAME. >> IF YOU SEE THIS HAT IN STARBUCKS, YOU KNOW IT'S GOING 1788 01:06:06,623 --> 01:06:11,125 >> IF YOU SEE THIS HAT IN STARBUCKS, YOU KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE OAT MILK. 1789 01:06:11,127 --> 01:06:14,529 STARBUCKS, YOU KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE OAT MILK. >> BIG DUMB HATS. 1790 01:06:14,531 --> 01:06:16,264 TO BE OAT MILK. >> BIG DUMB HATS. >> WANT TO HEAR A SECRET? 1791 01:06:16,266 --> 01:06:19,467 >> BIG DUMB HATS. >> WANT TO HEAR A SECRET? I MADE A BABY IN THIS HAT. 1792 01:06:19,469 --> 01:06:23,771 >> WANT TO HEAR A SECRET? I MADE A BABY IN THIS HAT. >> I NAMED MY KID, POET, STORY, 1793 01:06:23,773 --> 01:06:38,719 I MADE A BABY IN THIS HAT. >> I NAMED MY KID, POET, STORY, 1794 01:06:38,721 --> 01:06:39,220 >> I NAMED MY KID, POET, STORY, LIRIC AND ARCADE. 1795 01:06:39,222 --> 01:06:39,854 LIRIC AND ARCADE. >> I POST A PICTURE OF MY 1796 01:06:39,856 --> 01:06:40,521 LIRIC AND ARCADE. >> I POST A PICTURE OF MY WEDDING EVERY SINGLE DAY. 1797 01:06:40,523 --> 01:06:41,222 >> I POST A PICTURE OF MY WEDDING EVERY SINGLE DAY. >> CAN YOU DANCE IN THE HAT? 1798 01:06:41,224 --> 01:06:42,690 WEDDING EVERY SINGLE DAY. >> CAN YOU DANCE IN THE HAT? WELL, YOU'LL WISH WE DIDN'T. 1799 01:06:42,692 --> 01:06:44,525 >> CAN YOU DANCE IN THE HAT? WELL, YOU'LL WISH WE DIDN'T. ♪ TAKE ME TO CHURCH ♪ 1800 01:06:44,527 --> 01:06:47,895 WELL, YOU'LL WISH WE DIDN'T. ♪ TAKE ME TO CHURCH ♪ >> DON'T YOU HATE HOW WE DANCE? 1801 01:06:47,897 --> 01:06:48,262 ♪ TAKE ME TO CHURCH ♪ >> DON'T YOU HATE HOW WE DANCE? >> HATS. 1802 01:06:48,264 --> 01:06:48,629 >> DON'T YOU HATE HOW WE DANCE? >> HATS. >> DUMB. 1803 01:06:48,631 --> 01:06:50,531 >> HATS. >> DUMB. >> BIG. 1804 01:06:50,533 --> 01:06:53,201 >> DUMB. >> BIG. >> BIG DUMB HAT THE HAT THAT 1805 01:06:53,203 --> 01:06:54,836 >> BIG. >> BIG DUMB HAT THE HAT THAT MACKS YOUR BOYFRIEND SAY, IT'S 1806 01:06:54,838 --> 01:06:56,103 >> BIG DUMB HAT THE HAT THAT MACKS YOUR BOYFRIEND SAY, IT'S ME OR THE HAT. 1807 01:06:56,105 --> 01:06:57,839 MACKS YOUR BOYFRIEND SAY, IT'S ME OR THE HAT. >> IT'S THE HAT THAT SCREAMS, 1808 01:06:57,841 --> 01:06:58,139 ME OR THE HAT. >> IT'S THE HAT THAT SCREAMS, WAIT. 1809 01:06:58,141 --> 01:06:59,640 >> IT'S THE HAT THAT SCREAMS, WAIT. I THINK I FORGOT TO VOTE. 1810 01:06:59,642 --> 01:07:00,875 WAIT. I THINK I FORGOT TO VOTE. DID I MISS IT? 1811 01:07:00,877 --> 01:07:01,609 I THINK I FORGOT TO VOTE. DID I MISS IT? CAN I STILL GET A STICKER? 1812 01:07:01,611 --> 01:07:04,812 DID I MISS IT? CAN I STILL GET A STICKER? >> HAT. 1813 01:07:04,814 --> 01:07:08,583 CAN I STILL GET A STICKER? >> HAT. >> PAIR IT WITH TINY LITTLE 1814 01:07:08,585 --> 01:07:10,585 >> HAT. >> PAIR IT WITH TINY LITTLE CURSIVE TATTOO, COMPLICATED 1815 01:07:10,587 --> 01:07:15,690 >> PAIR IT WITH TINY LITTLE CURSIVE TATTOO, COMPLICATED MORNING ROUTINE AND FAKE GLUTEN 1816 01:07:15,692 --> 01:07:16,057 CURSIVE TATTOO, COMPLICATED MORNING ROUTINE AND FAKE GLUTEN ATOR JI. 1817 01:07:16,059 --> 01:07:17,492 MORNING ROUTINE AND FAKE GLUTEN ATOR JI. >> YELLOW STONE WATCH PARTY AND 1818 01:07:17,494 --> 01:07:21,195 ATOR JI. >> YELLOW STONE WATCH PARTY AND A WOOD FIRED PIZZA OVEN. 1819 01:07:21,197 --> 01:07:22,463 >> YELLOW STONE WATCH PARTY AND A WOOD FIRED PIZZA OVEN. OOH, LOOK AT THAT CHAR. 1820 01:07:22,465 --> 01:07:24,966 A WOOD FIRED PIZZA OVEN. OOH, LOOK AT THAT CHAR. >> AND AT THE END OF THE DAY, 1821 01:07:24,968 --> 01:07:27,502 OOH, LOOK AT THAT CHAR. >> AND AT THE END OF THE DAY, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A BIG OLD 1822 01:07:27,504 --> 01:07:30,705 >> AND AT THE END OF THE DAY, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A BIG OLD CREASE ON YOUR FOREHEAD FROM THE 1823 01:07:30,707 --> 01:07:31,005 YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A BIG OLD CREASE ON YOUR FOREHEAD FROM THE HAT. 1824 01:07:31,007 --> 01:07:33,541 CREASE ON YOUR FOREHEAD FROM THE HAT. >> CAN A MAN WEAR A BIG DUMB 1825 01:07:33,543 --> 01:07:33,808 HAT. >> CAN A MAN WEAR A BIG DUMB HAT? 1826 01:07:33,810 --> 01:07:35,943 >> CAN A MAN WEAR A BIG DUMB HAT? >> I THINK SO, BUT LET'S FIND 1827 01:07:35,945 --> 01:07:36,244 HAT? >> I THINK SO, BUT LET'S FIND OUT. 1828 01:07:36,246 --> 01:07:38,846 >> I THINK SO, BUT LET'S FIND OUT. >> HELLO, LADIES. 1829 01:07:38,848 --> 01:07:41,482 OUT. >> HELLO, LADIES. LET'S GET VULNERABLE. 1830 01:07:41,484 --> 01:07:42,717 >> HELLO, LADIES. LET'S GET VULNERABLE. >> NO, NO. 1831 01:07:42,719 --> 01:07:43,651 LET'S GET VULNERABLE. >> NO, NO. >> NO. 1832 01:07:43,653 --> 01:07:48,222 >> NO, NO. >> NO. >> SO GET YOUR BIG DUMB HAT 1833 01:07:48,224 --> 01:07:48,523 >> NO. >> SO GET YOUR BIG DUMB HAT TODAY. 1834 01:07:48,525 --> 01:07:48,823 >> SO GET YOUR BIG DUMB HAT TODAY. WAIT. 1835 01:07:48,825 --> 01:07:49,457 TODAY. WAIT. IS YOUR HAT EVEN BIGGER? 1836 01:07:49,459 --> 01:07:53,628 WAIT. IS YOUR HAT EVEN BIGGER? >> MAYBE. 1837 01:07:53,630 --> 01:07:56,163 IS YOUR HAT EVEN BIGGER? >> MAYBE. >> BIG DUMB HATS. 1838 01:07:56,165 --> 01:07:56,931 >> MAYBE. >> BIG DUMB HATS. >> FROM THE MAKER OF DUMB LITTLE 1839 01:07:56,933 --> 01:08:06,140 >> BIG DUMB HATS. >> FROM THE MAKER OF DUMB LITTLE DOG. 1840 01:08:16,485 --> 01:08:21,455 >>> THANKS TO STEVE LACY, THE ENTIRE CAST AND CREW AND AUDIENCE. 1841 01:08:21,457 --> 01:08:25,359 ENTIRE CAST AND CREW AND AUDIENCE. AND PLEASE VOTE, AND I LOVE YOU 1842 01:08:25,361 --> 01:08:27,628 AUDIENCE. AND PLEASE VOTE, AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, I CAN'T WAIT TO GET 1843 01:08:27,630 --> 01:08:32,633 AND PLEASE VOTE, AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, I CAN'T WAIT TO GET HOME AND SEE YOU GUYS. 200444