All language subtitles for Lobola Man (2024).en

[person 1] Hey, hey, hey,
what the hell is going on here?

- What's going on in here?
- [person 2] Dad, plea...

[person 1] Hey, hey, hey,
bloody skinny legs! Come here!

- [person 2] Dad, please.
- You see, you!

- I'm begging you.
- What are you asking for?

- You're doing this nonsense in my house?
- Dad!

- [person 1] I don't want to hear it!
- [panting]

[groans]

[pants]

Oh, my God. I'll never do it again.

- [engine sputtering]
- Please, start.

Come on, man.

- [engine backfiring]
- Pop! [laughs]

[driver] Amen. [pants]

Hey! Bloody coward! Come back here!

Hey! You coward, come back here!

You're running! Huh, you're running away?
I'm gonna catch you, you fool!

Don't ever come back here,
I'm telling you! I'll show you who I am!

[club music playing]

[no audible dialogue]

[alarm blaring]

Okay, fine. Shut up.

[sighs, inhales sharply]

[groans]

[groaning]

Lerato. Lebo?

Lindi?

Lindi...

- Look here, man.
- Lethabo.

Lethabo.

That would've been my next guess.

Listen, my boys are coming over.

There are a couple of things
we need to do.

So, I can call you an Uber. I don't mind.

You're in my apartment, asshole.

Oh, yeah.

Damn it!

So, you were going to kick me out
this early in the morning?

Yeah, but I was going to call you an Uber.

- Black.
- [clicks tongue]

Bye, Ace.

Mbuso is somebody
who regularly goes to church.

Yeah.

Thando, on the other hand...

Thando is a bit of lost lamb

with two children,
both from two different fathers.

[sighs] Those little bastards.

I don't want to offend you.

We, the Khoza family, say that Mbuso,
he will take care of Thando.

He will lift her up
and make her a good wife.

A respectable wife in a home... [inhales]

...a home that is filled
with Christ and prayer.

Hallelujah.

So, we'd like to ask you,

now that you can see it for yourselves,

to give her for a lower price.

[sighs] Oh, my God.

If I told my sister once,
I told her a thousand times

that that girl must learn
to close her legs.

- My goodness.
- So, what are you saying?

What? What? I told her.

- Hey, Auntie!
- Enough.

- Goodness.
- [sighs]

Are you going to take care
of our daughter?

Oh, yes. We will take
very good care of her.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Anyway.

Ma'am, if you'd be so kind
as to lead us in prayer.

Let's pray. If everyone could hold hands.

Father God, the all-powerful
and gracious King of kings.

I praise and thank you, my Lord.

I invite you into our home.

We ask that these lobola negotiations
may be harmonious, Lord.

Help these kids unite our families
in a beautiful way, Lord.

Oh, God, bless these kids. Amen.

Hallelujah.

[chanting, singing]

[crowd ululating]

Hey! Hey! Ace! Ace! Ace!

What's wrong with you? What did I say?

- I told you not to use real names.
- Okay, Sbu then.

But you must stay for the celebration.

- You know how these things work.
- No, no. There we go again. Huh?

First rule of negotiation
for lobola is what?

- Get in, get out.
- Yeah. "Get out before it gets messy."

- Exactly.
- Okay.

Just like my relationships, my man,
it's on, then it's over. Done.

Okay, okay. Here you go. Here. Take it.

[Ace vocalizing]

Ay, you know.

- Hey. Hey, hey. Listen, listen.
- Yes.

I offer my services
for refund negotiations.

- You get me?
- Yeah.

- You might need them.
- Refund? Wh...

Uh, it's just a hunch. That's all.

- You know? Just a hunch.
- Okay. Yes.

- And also...
- Yes?

...tell your nephew to at least
start going to church.

He should find Christ. Go to church.

- Okay, okay. I'll tell him. Travel safe.
- Thanks, thanks.

- [singing continues]
- [Ace sings]

[Ace] Lobola. A tradition as old as time
in our custom.

The groom's family pays the bride's family
to thank them for raising their daughter.

[chuckles] Crazy, right?

You know, the hype around the uncles
at the gate.

A scam, if you ask me,

but an opportunity nonetheless.

Because sometimes, you just need a guy
who knows how to talk the talk

so the price can come down.

And that's where I come in.

Being part of this family,

I can vouch for their spirit of Ubuntu.

You should consider the long-term benefits
of these two families coming together.

Gentlemen, I'm talking about land.

These people have land.

All the land.

All of it.

Out of the blue.

[chattering, cheering]

[entrepreneur] We were an angstrom
away from getting him to invest.

You see? That's the problem.

- What?
- D-boy. [chuckles]

We use programming code all day long.

- And then you're going to add "angstrom".
- [server] Sorry.

Thank you, ma'am.

Black people don't talk like that
just in general. Full stop.

I just don't get it, man, okay?
We have the track record right there.

So finding investors should be
as easy as JavaScript.

Okay, I see what you mean.

But maybe we're going about it
the wrong way.

Hmm? Think about it.
Maybe we should just simplify it.

Make it relatable,
and add a plug-in or something.

Sorry, I know you said
I need to hold off all your phone calls,

but your girlfriend called...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Fiancée, get it right.

This man that you're looking at
is former eligible bachelor,

Lehlohonolo Duke Maseko.

Wow, she proposed?

- No, why would you say that?
- I-it's a joke.

- [laughs]
- Is it? Is it really?

What are you trying to say?

Oh, just that, you know,
she can be a little bossy.

I guess congratulations are in order.

- [Duke] Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah? Okay.

- Okay, cool.
- [laughing]

And as always,

it comes down to Themba
to put together the bachelors.

You should actually put that
on your to-do list.

[scoffs] PA does not stand
for Party Arranger. No, sorry.

Oh, look at you, Party Arranger.
It's a good one.

Look at you. You're still doing it though.

So, boy, I'm thinking two. Just two.

- No strippers. If word gets out to Zandi...
- Oh, no strippers, Themba.

Really?

But we're getting ahead
of ourselves, guys.

Zandile's dad is traditional,
traditional, okay?

So, we still have to discuss
the lobola situation.

So?

So? What do you mean, "so"?
You've been to my family functions.

My uncle started burping to the tune
of "Sister Bethina" the last time.

- No.
- There's literally no family member

that I can get to negotiate
without embarrassing me. Literally.

- That's not true.
- Yes, it is.

Does, uh, your... your...

He collects cars, your uncle?
The rich one. He collects cars.

He's in prison.

Oh, he "collects" collects?

Look, just because her dad's rich,
doesn't mean that he's not reasonable.

Thing is, it's not even about money. Okay?

Status means a lot to Zandile's dad
and my family doesn't care about that.

It doesn't help that he hates my guts.

- You're being dramatic.
- I'm not being dramatic!

The first time I met him
he told me that he hates my guts.

Wait, wait.

- Wait a minute, I think I still have it.
- [Duke] What?

I think I just got the answer
to your prayers. If I can find it, man.

If it's not some AI tech to help me
replace my family then I don't care.

There it is.

I'll do you one better than tech.

A real fake family member.

"Ace Ngubeni, Lobola Negotiator."

"For the right price,
you get the right price."

- You see, he thinks it's a joke.
- Let me see.

- [Ace] You think it's funny?
- No, bro. This is super legit.

This guy conducted
my uncle's Lobola negotiations,

- before they called the whole thing off.
- They called it off

because they found out
this is a fraudulent lobola guy, right?

[scoffs] No.

His fiancée just caught him cheating
with her sister.

I know. Listen, listen.

The main thing is that
that's the man that can save you.

That's the guy you're looking for.
This guy will help you.

I've seen this man work.
[exclaims] He's butter.

Don't tell me
you're actually considering it.

- [mumbling]
- Boom!

[Themba chuckles]

[club music playing]

- My boy.
- [sighs]

You know what?

To many more successful negotiations
coming my way.

I don't like hearing you speak like this...

- Oh, yeah!
- ...'cause you lie for a living.

[groans]

[exclaims]

Boy, I'm going to leave.
I said I'm gonna be home half past eight.

Listen, listen, my boy. As my buddy,
my best friend.

My ride or die, hey?

One day, when you're dead and gone,

we'll write on your tombstone,

"Here lies Siphiwe.
He thought marriage wouldn't kill him.

Look at him now."

- Don't annoy me. Buddy.
- No, don't do that.

This is the only alone time I have, bro.

This is the only time I can...
[breathes deeply]

You see? But you won't
understand these things.

Your relationship can't even last
longer than this shot glass, man.

My boy, listen. I'm asking as my friend.

As my best friend.

Look at that girl. I need a wingman.
I'm begging you, my boy.

The only wingman you need is Jesus.
And you don't know Him.

And if I don't leave now,
I'll meet Jesus at home.

So please, dog. I'm gonna go.

Please, man. I'm begging you.

Amen.

But you...

My boy.

But, you...

You... [sighs]

I ordered a demi-sec
and you brought us a Brut.

Do we look like ladies who drink Brut?

[stammers] Um.

Do you even know the difference?

[exhales]

[sighs, grunts]

Ma'am, you don't understand.

This is my first night working here.
If my boss finds out then I could...

Apologies for the inconvenience.
May I help?

- Are you the manager here?
- Ace Ngubeni.

Thami here has brought over
the wrong champagne

- and I'm not paying for it.
- Thami, again?

- [stammers]
- Apologies for the misunderstanding.

I propose that you ladies
keep the bottle on the house.

Then you can just leave
your details with me,

and I'll be sure to give you a call

and personally
hand deliver that bottle of champagne

as a way of apologizing
for the inconvenience.

Okay, I don't think I heard you correctly,
please repeat what you just said.

- Your number, ma'am.
- Oh, my number's not for sale.

- Everyone's got a price.
- [chuckles]

You know what? Let me give you mine.

And then, when you're free you'll call me.

Uh, I don't think you heard
a word I just said.

Oh, no. I heard you.
I just don't think you're very convincing.

I said, "No."
Is that convincing enough for you?

Okay, clearly I came on too strong.

Oh, you think?

It's just that

I was sitting there
and I just couldn't get my eyes off you.

Let me make it up to you. Breakfast?
I make a mean eggs Benedict.

You're relentless.

You should see what I'm like
when I really want something.

- Friend, please, let's go.
- [friend] Okay, yeah. Let's go.

Hey, don't I know you from somewhere?

[sighs]

No, unless you hang out in heaven

'cause that's where
all the beautiful women are.

- [both laugh]
- That's cute. Cheesy, but cute.

- [groans] Let's go.
- [Thami stammers]

- Excuse me, sorry.
- Yes.

I'm lost. Who's going to pay for the bill?

Oh, he's your guy. Your forward manager
will settle the bill.

He's not my manager.

Technically, I never said I was.

I never thought you were.
You're a terrible liar.

[Ace] I wasn't lying
about how beautiful you are.

- Let me just, um...
- It's okay, I got you.

You can thank me later.

[stammers] Thank you, thank you so much.

- I really appreciate...
- That's... That's... Yeah.

Okay. [chuckles]

So...

[sighs] What's the damage, boy?

Uh-uh, you're crazy! [laughs]

[exclaims] Uh-uh.

Huh? Huh? No!

- Thabo, never!
- It's Thami, sir.

Oh, you know names now, hey?

A minute ago you couldn't tell
the difference between rosé, Brut

or anything else.
Now you know names, Thabo?

Just go get the speed point.

- I'm sor...
- Trevor, go get the speed...

Damn.

[Ace] Closing the deal?
Boy, I didn't even get her number.

[Siphiwe] No, it's a sign.

Yeah, a sign that I need
to find her and work hard.

Boy, I'm telling you,
there's something about this girl.

[Siphiwe groans] If I didn't
know any better,

I'd say you're catching feelings, boy.

[Ace chuckles] It's a good thing
you don't know any better.

It's all about the hunt for me.
About the chase.

If you keep going at this pace,
you're gonna miss love.

- It's gonna keep passing you by.
- [chuckles]

Love, huh? Love always finds me, boy.

I don't have to look for it.
It just comes.

Sometimes I find love two
or three times at a time.

Mm-mmm, that's not love.

Yeah, I know. It's called a threesome.

No, thank you, dog.

That sounds like a one-way ticket
to divorce, boy.

You do know that 20 percent
of marriages end in divorce, right?

So technically... [sucks teeth]
...marriage is a one-way ticket to divorce.

[Siphiwe] Boy, you don't know
real love, man.

Like, you're missing out
on the beauty of love, bro. Like...

[partner] Baby!
You said you'd take out the trash for me.

Baby, I'm in the bathroom! Geez.

- Hey?
- What?

Don't tell me you've been
on the toilet while chatting to me?

Ah, dude, like, you don't understand.
This is the only time I can just...

[breathes deeply] You know?

[Ace] I'm gonna hang up now.

But next time you're having alone time,
do exactly that, my guy. Be alone.

Leave me out of it.

[clears throat]

- Uh-uh, ah, uh-uh, uh-uh.
- What?

What the hell is this?
It's half the size of a samosa.

You can't expect me
to pay full price for this.

Those are standard size samosas, boss.

Sir, it's a standard size rip-off.

I've been coming to you
for two years straight.

I'm your number one customer.

Really? I've never seen you before.

See, this exactly what I'm talking about.

You know, my wife of ten years
used to say the same thing

before she filed for divorce.

It's like no one can see me.

[sighs]

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to say
I didn't recognize you.

[stammers] It's that kind of week,
you know what I'm saying? It's tough.

I'll tell you what I'll do for you.

Since you're my number one customer,
you get extra serviettes on the house.

Yeah. Thanks, Mohammed.

It's Krisen.

Krisen. [chuckles]

Thought you said you knew me!

- [customer] Can I have samosas?
- What's my name?

Mr. Ngubeni.

[grunts] What is that?
What are you wearing?

- You said I should be discreet.
- By insulting everyone here?

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
I don't know how this works.

The thing is, my PA Rachel, yeah,
she says I always try too hard.

You know what? Let's listen to Rachel.
Rachel should be listened to.

I mean, I do the disguises. Take that off.

- [shouts, grunts]
- [baby crying]

- Okay, sorry. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
- Oh, you bring all the attention to us.

Sorry.

I'm sorry. Sorry, sorry.

[sighs] Dude, first of all,
please stop apologizing. Okay?

- Okay.
- I'm not a priest. Secondly,

what do you want?

Is there somewhere a little more private
that we can talk?

It's very busy here.

How should I know?
It's my first time here.

No, I just heard you talking
to that Indian man, and...

You know what? Never mind.

- I'm getting married.
- I know. My condolences.

And I'm looking for someone
to negotiate the lobola.

What... What are you... What...

- What?
- [sighs]

This is how this works.

There's something I'm working on
called "In and Out".

It means exactly that,
I walk in and I walk out.

- Yeah.
- Okay?

I like to do all my negotiations
in one day.

Normally, I take 30 percent commission.

[sucks teeth] This month,
I'm working on a few things,

so 25 percent commission
on the negotiated price.

You see, I like this in and out idea.

Yeah, like I always tell my clients,
it's limited people, limited risk.

Okay, may I ask, is there a package

that does not require my family
being there at all? Like...

A traditional blindfold in and out?

Y-Yeah, that.

One where the groom's parents
are not there, all in one day?

Where is that one here?

Here?

Do you know why we call it the blindfold?

- Mm-mmm.
- It's mythical.

It doesn't exist. You get me?
I want to help you, man, but no.

[Duke] Mr. Ngubeni, listen.

Listen. Please, Mr. Ngubeni. 50,000 rands.

100,000 rands!

I just need you to listen. Listen, listen.

Listen, this girl, my fiancée,
her parents are wealthy.

And let's just say my family won't fit in.

You see my problem?

Do you... Do you know why I do what I do?

- Money?
- No, no.

To help people just like you
with this lobola scam.

And for the money.

And to jeopardize it all
for a blindfold? Uh-uh.

No, no. Just think about it, okay.
200,000 for the negotiation.

Negotiate whatever you want
and you keep the rest.

You said you had no money.
Where did you get money?

No, no, no. I said my family
would embarrass me. I, however...

Just... Wait.

I am...

I'm pretty loaded.

[Ace] Whoa, hold on. Wait a minute.

So you are the owner of the Mate-Date app?

- Please, okay? I need this.
- Yeah, boy.

- Sure, I'll help you.
- Okay.

Plus, I want to see the girl
that's getting married to you. [chuckles]

So you're saying...

What I'm saying is,
and I know I'm going to regret this...

Sure.

- Yes! Yes! Yes!
- No, man. Hold on a second! Why? Why? Why?

Why? Why? Why are you...

- Why? Why?
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I lost my cool.

- It's... It's... I'm sorry.
- Come on.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, cousin.

No, we're not a real family.

Yeah, yeah. Cool. Cool.

I get it. I got it.

Cool, cousin.

- In a...
- We're not a...

...a non-family kind of way.

Of course, you know.

- Is this your car?
- It says, "Ace."

[Duke] Oh, okay.

- I've never seen a...
- [Ace groans]

[Duke] So, babe. I thought I was going
to go with my lucky blue jacket or the...

Don't worry, babe. I've already put out
your favorite cardigan. It's on the bed.

[Duke] Oh. Okay.

Is something wrong?

No, nothing's wrong. I was just thinking
about how, how much you get me.

Of course I do, baby, and that is why
we are so perfect together.

[Duke] Yeah.

[singsongy] Oh,
there's my favorite cardigan.

Yay!

Oh, babe.

- Mm-hmm?
- Um, who's the cousin?

What?

The cousin that made you
cancel our lunch date yesterday.

I mean, you never cancel lunch, so I was...

Mmm. Oh, that cousin. Oh. [chuckles]

It's actually such a funny story,
if you think about it, you know, like...

So, me and him have been out of touch
for a couple of years, you know?

But we... we're still close,
we... we really are.

So yesterday, when we were catching up,
time just went... [whistles]

It just, like, went, you know.
And you're going to like him.

And get this, so my parents spoke to him

and asked him to talk to your parents
about the engagement.

Isn't that amazing?

[stutters]
Isn't that something you should be doing?

Yeah.

No.

Yeah. [inhales sharply]

I just think, right,

that they want him to lead
the lobola negotiations, you know?

Your folks would love him.

- Okay.
- [Duke] Yeah.

The... The thing is, my dad...

My dad doesn't love anyone
but me, so there's a...

Oh, well. Everyone loves Ace.

- Ace?
- Mm-hmm.

It's just I've never heard
you talk about Ace before.

Yeah, he's a distant cousin.

- I thought you guys were close.
- Close in a distant kind of way.

Oh.

Baby, you know how
black people are, right?

Like, my brother could be my cousin,
and my cousin could be my brother.

One thing's for sure,
you're gonna love him.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

So, um, what does Ace do?

- A lot.
- Mm-hmm.

But not too much, though.

- He's a consultant.
- A what now?

A consultant.

Oh, great.

I just had an idea.

- Why don't I introduce you to him.
- Oh?

Yeah, you're gonna love him.
Did I mention you're gonna love him?

- Yeah.
- [exclaims]

About, like, three times now.

About three times? [laughing]

Yeah.

- You know, it's hot in here.
- Oh.

Like, it's hot. Like, I just... [exhales]

...just started sweating, it's like,
what is going on, you know?

Is it the lotion that I'm using?
Is it... Did it say antiperspirant?

- [sighs]
- [Ace] Introducing...

...the One Eye Closed.

"The One Eye Closed."

- Yeah.
- Hmm.

The trick is to not go full blindfold.

Last thing you need are your in-laws
meeting your fake family

then never having to see them again.

Oh, I didn't think of that.

Yeah, that's why I'm the expert.

This requires a very,
very distant family member.

Negates your parents
ever having to find out,

and your in-laws never having
to see them again.

I just need to train them up.

[sucks teeth]

That might not be as easy as you think.

The rest of the delegation
will be made up of my team, the very best.

You, my good sir,
have to choose a family member wisely.

- Come here! Come here! Come here!
- [customer shrieking]

Hey!

I see you, fool!

And that's my Aunt Miriam.

Jackpot! [chuckles]

Ah, that was just as easy
as taking candy from a baby.

Meet your gambling addict uncle,
Long-John.

Long-John?

[chuckles] Long story,
let's not get into it.

- Last but not least, your uncle, Bra Biza.
- Okay.

Hey, Ace!

[in Jamaican accent]
Rude man! Are you good?

What's with the accent?

He's an actor.
Probably doing something method.

Next time you think you can call the cops
on me for my music,

call them for your man
for his lost pants and the broken zip.

- [clicks tongue]
- I like her.

We need someone to play bad cop,
drive the price down.

[shrieks] Duke, my baby!

Is that you?

Come, come, come, come.

Come give Auntie a kiss.

Come on, man.

[chuckles]

[vocalizes]

- [Miriam exclaims]
- How are you, Auntie?

Tell me, who is that with you?

Oh, this is Ace.

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Have you ever dated the elderly?

[both laugh]

Uncle, I have a job for you.

Hey, I don't live that life anymore.
I'm out of that lifestyle.

Listen, easiest payday ever!

[in Jamaican Patois] Are you good?

Bra Biza, no one believes you're Jamaican.

[in Jamaican Patois] Good?

- Do you believe you're Jamaican?
- [in Jamaican Patois] Good.

You see, Auntie. The proposition
is for us to make easy money.

- Mmm.
- [Ace] 10,000 rand.

If there's money involved, I'm in!

- Okay, good.
- Good.

Good.

All right.

Now I need details on the opposition.

Strengths, weaknesses, things like that.

You make it sound like we're going to war.

- This is real life, my boy. Okay?
- Mm-hmm. Okay.

Comfort is for the weak,
and marriage? Marriage is war.

[Duke] War. [grunts] It's war!

Yes! [grunting]

Okay. Okay,
so I've already organized lunch for Zandi.

Yeah, if Zandi can vouch for me,
that'll make things go a lot smoother.

Now to think of a name.

A name?

Yeah, I can't exactly use my own name.

That's a... That's a rookie move.

Oh. [groans]

I wish you would've told me that before.

- Before what?
- Before, uh... [chuckles]

[inhales sharply, smacks lips]

Before I told Zandi your real name.

[laughs]

Just out of curiosity,
do you want this to work?

How was I supposed to know?

I mean, you didn't give me a rule book
or anything, bro.

[sighs] It's fine, we'll adapt.

Yeah?

Yeah. [grunts]

[sighs]

[Themba] I feel like I'm watching Einstein

piece together the theory
of relativity in real time.

- This guy's a genius.
- This guy's a con man.

Duke shouldn't be associating himself
with him.

PA stands for pay attention.

It's like watching a train wreck
in slow motion, goodness.

Why is he wearing that pullover?
He hates it.

Hey, why are you spoiling the mood?

No, man.
I just don't want to see Duke hurt, okay.

A-And neither should you.

- I don't.
- Good.

[sighs]

[Ace] Can I recommend something?

Um, I'm still deciding between...

I know what you want.

Excuse me.

My sister, please would you get me
a bottle of your best champagne.

I'm thinking something bubbly, sweet,
and with personality. Demi-sec?

And then you can get me a whiskey, neat.

Something that says I'm serious
but I like the finer things in life.

What do I have to do
to never see you again?

Well for starters,
you can give me a smile.

Oh, that is reserved for people I like.

Ooh.

I have a lunch meeting so...
[inhales sharply]...you should go.

Well, it looks like both our dates
are running late,

and at that you don't honestly think
that this is a random act of coincidence.

It is a coincidence.

They say a beautiful woman
should never eat alone.

Okay, so what are you implying?

Are you trying to say
I need a man to keep me company?

- Well, that is so typical of your type.
- My type?

Yes, the patriarchal player type

who believes a woman's place
is only in the kitchen.

Oh, no. That's where
you have me all wrong.

I mean, believe the place for a woman
is in my heart.

- Yeah? Yeah? Come on.
- [chuckles]

You should go.

Okay, but before I go,
I didn't get your name the last time.

Yeah, that's because
I didn't give you my name.

In case you've forgotten mine, I'm...

Ace! Zandi!

You guys found one another?
That's awesome!

- Zandi?
- Ace?

[Duke] I mean, you guys have met, right?

- No!
- [Ace] Yes!

- No!
- [Ace] Yes!

Now. N-Now, boy.

You see, you see,

I matched the description
before you got here, my boy.

That's amazing.

I mean it saves me all the intros,
you know, so... [grunts]

Uh, excuse me.
I'm about to go drain the main vein.

Okay.

So, you're Ace?

You know, I cannot believe Duke
actually thought I was going to love you.

- Everybody loves me.
- Oh, you're incorrigible.

I don't know what that means,
but you actually lied.

Excuse me, I never lie.

You just told your fiancé
you have no idea who I am.

Oh, so how did you think
your conversation would have ended?

Like, "Oh, yes, babe.

I met your cousin the other night

- when he was trying to get into my pants."
- He's not my cousin.

Right now.

In this moment,
he doesn't feel like my cousin.

You know, you're lucky
to even be related to someone like him

because Duke is more of a man
than you'll ever be.

Okay, lady.
First of all, you don't even know me.

Secondly, you know what?
I lied. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- You're nothing like what he described.
- Well, neither are you.

He said, for one thing,
you're kind-hearted.

I am kind-hearted.

[stutters]

[groans]

Thanks.

- Thank you.
- Here you go.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- You left me with that exorbitant bill.
- You're the idiot who offered to pay.

- I was trying to be nice.
- No, you were not being nice.

You thought I could be bought.

What is it that you said again?
"Everyone has a price."

Well, I have news for you,

I'm not one of those whores you think
you can score with cheap alcohol.

- Cheap?
- Cheap, yes!

Did you hear me saying "exorbitant?"

It's a fancy word for "a lot."

And I am not for sale.

[chuckles] My sister, that man
is about to pay a small fortune

to make you his wife.

So I'm sorry to break it to you,
but ka-ching! Sale!

[exclaims]

- [glass clatters]
- [Ace coughs]

Oh, they have this lovely
lavender moisturizer in the bathroom.

I love it. It's really, uh...

[Zandi] Actually, we're leaving.

- Oh, no, no.
- Wait, I just got here.

No, no, no. If anyone's leaving, it's me.

You're not gonna hit me
with the bill trick again.

What's the bill trick?

My boy, look, yeah? I like you, man.

I like you. You're my boy.
Ever since we met at the Plaza...

You mean, when we met at the Plaza

for the first time when our parents
took us there when we were young

because they were buying us clothes
as we were toddlers, right?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

But boy, this? I can't do this.

[laughs] Well, Duke doesn't need you.

Oh, no. That's not entirely true, my love.

- Oh? Duke doesn't need me?
- I need you.

- You don't need me, boy, oh, no.
- I need... I need...

- I need you.
- You've got this. Good luck.

Ace, I need you. Ace! Ace!

- What was that about?
- Nothing.

- [chuckles] Sit down.
- Okay.

- Sit down.
- He didn't even finish his drink.

Sorry.

- Babe. Are you okay?
- Hmm? Mm-hmm. I'm fine.

Okay. Sorry, can I have
a bacon cheeseburger, please?

- Salad. Salad.
- A salad. Salad.

- He's gonna have a salad.
- I'm gonna have a salad.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

[line ringing]

[Siphiwe] Hey! Kill him!

[phone buzzing]

Ace, you're calling me
at weird times, boy.

I hope this is important.

You can't call me
like we're in the streets.

I found that girl I was
telling you about. Her name is Zandi.

- Yes!
- Yeah, but it's a bit complicated.

Ooh!

I know, I know.

Don't... Don't... Don't...
Don't give up on me, dog.

No, I'm not giving up, okay? Damn.

- Baby's getting married.
- Who?

Zandi. I told you.
Are you even listening to me?

Oh, God. Sorry, sorry, man. What's up?

[partner] Honey, can you hurry up?
I need help with these jeans.

Baby, I'm busy, man!

- You're playing PlayStation.
- Okay, so my phone call isn't important?

[partner] You're so typical.

So, my boy, tell me.

I'm busy telling you all my problems

and you're busy with a video game?

My boy, this is the only time I can...

[breathes deeply]

You know, but I don't expect
you to get it. You're still single.

Honestly, I have to tell you for a married
man you have a lot of alone time.

Okay, so you gonna roast me
or do you want help?

Zandi is the fiancée
of a potential new client.

Do you know what this sounds like?

Remember when Tau found out
that Zola was gonna marry Karabo Moroka?

Ah, boy. That's your life, bro.
A whole soapy.

Hey, my boy. Zandi, man.

Zandi is... She's beautiful, gorgeous,

stubborn, just like-like...
like a fireball.

Let me tell you this brother

do not interfere
with another man's marriage.

Not even a little bit, boy.

If it were up to me,

I'd say just scrap
the whole negotiation and move on.

Now listen here, Dr. Phil-emon,

you know I never interfere
with people's marriages.

The way I look at it, it's her loss.

But this job, I'm gonna to do this, boy.

Dog, you're the funniest in the world.

You know, like. You're against commitment.

You're anti-unions. You're against it all.

But for a living, you marry people.

Dog, you know you're like a pastor
who doesn't believe in God, dog.

Like... Like, actually,
like a pimp who hates prostitutes, dog.

Like, imagine, like...

So, your wife, the real man of the house,

why don't you go help her
with those jeans.

Listen, I've got one more, dog.

- Idiot.
- You know what you're like?

You know he... [sighs]

Thank you.

That man, he is a self-absorbed,

- obnoxious man-child.
- [laughs]

Like a mosquito buzzing around your ear.

[laughs] It sounds like
a fun first date. [laughs]

- Oh, so what's happening to me is amusing?
- No, friend.

I'm joking. Can't joke with you?

- [laughs]
- Whatever.

Friend, I'm struggling to
put my finger on it,

but I think I know this guy
from somewhere.

Also, just the nerve of him
ordering for me as if he knows me.

Yeah, you see?

A man who takes charge?
Definitely not your type, friend.

What do you mean?

[stutters] That you have to admit, friend,

- he's kind of right, though.
- What?

It's not like you told him
you were spoken for.

Okay. This is where
the problem starts, okay.

- Men feel so entitled.
- [sighs]

Why should I preach to the entire world

about my relationship status?

- Life is not Facebook, Mandy.
- Friend, what's going on?

I have literally never
seen you this worked up about a guy ever.

Okay, I'm not... [clears throat]
I'm not worked up.

Listen... [sighs]...I'm about to marry

possibly the nicest,
most focused man on earth

and I won't let his fool of a cousin

just come and mess things up for me.

Mm-hmm. And who are you telling?
Me or yourself?

Hmm?

[sighs]

Once we're done with the benefits
of a totally new app,

Themba, you speak money.

Standard, my boy.
We grab them hook, line and sinker.

Whoa.

Yeah, but who's your audience?

People spend money on all sorts of things.

In that room, your job is to appeal
to their emotional needs, you know?

Negotiation 101.

You wanna know what their habits are,
traits, what ticks them off.

That sort of thing.

Welcome back.

- [laughs]
- [Duke] So, you're in?

Because once we know what they want,

we can make them think they're getting it.

What's rule number one?

[Biza, Long-John] Get in and get out.

Good.

The Zungus
have a family trip this weekend.

Myself and Duke will be dropping off
a letter signaling Duke's intentions.

[Duke whistling]

[Ace] But we're also there for research.

[whistling]

Mr. Zungu, hello.

How is it? Such a beautiful day.

The sun is out, the birds are chirping.
It's not windy.

A beautiful day for golf.

So please, don't ruin my day, my boy.

Get your butts moving. Zandile's there.

Actually, we're here to see you,
Mr. Zungu.

- Me?
- [Duke] Yes, yes, yes.

There's actually something
that I'd like to ask you,

and, uh, my cousin here, Ace,

is more than eager
to let you know what it is.

The floor is yours.

Mr. Zungu,
I'm representing the Maseko family.

Mr. Maseko and Mrs. Maseko have given
me proxy as their eldest nephew.

Proxy? For what?

[chuckles] Well, sir,
it is with great pride and joy that I...

[clears throat]...and the Maseko family
let you know that

Lehlohonolo Duke Maseko would like to ask
for your daughter's hand in marriage.

We'd like for the families to meet
and talk about the lobola.

At your earliest convenience, of course.

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

Come on, man. What days
are we living in here? [chuckling]

You've come here
with an envelope telling me about proxies.

Huh? Where are the elders? [chuckling]

Hey, wait.

You boys are serious?

- Y-Yes.
- As a heart attack, sir.

We would like to discuss
Lehlohonolo's intentions,

and may I say,
he has the best intentions at heart.

Please tell me, Duke,

what makes you think you are worthy
enough to marry my child?

- What makes me worthy?
- Mm-hmm.

- You see, the word "worthy..."
- Mm-hmm.

Worthiness is amazing, actually,
if you think about it.

The phenomenon is such an interesting one.

Uh, where it started was just...
Back in the day, the Romans used to...

What my cousin is trying to say
is that, sir...

Zandile is the most strong-willed,

highly opinionated, authentic,
annoyingly beautiful woman.

And what Duke wants to do, sir,
is to love her.

To protect her.

He's felt this way since...

since the first day he laid eyes on her.

- Hey there, hey!
- Sir?

This is what you have to say?

Yes, that's what I wanted to say, sir.

- [laughs] The thing is...
- Yes.

...ever since we were young,
me and Duke we had this,

- telepathy.
- Telepathy.

- That we would... I would say things...
- And I'd finish it.

- And he... finish it.
- And he'd start it and he'd finish it.

- Because of the bond that we have.
- Because...

- Together.
- Yeah.

[Zandi] Dad? Come on.

Just forgive them already.

- [Mr. Zungu] Okay, sweetheart.
- [Zandi chuckles]

Fine. Listen, here.

This weekend,
me and my family are going away.

We are traveling to
one of our beach houses.

I'm sure you already knew that

because your timing is impeccable

since you are telepathic and all.

After that, who knows,

maybe we can start talking
about the dates and times.

Not that one really
entertains such a thing.

- Okay. Thank you, sir.
- Thank you, thank you.

[Mr. Zungu] Hold on a second.

- Do you fish?
- Do I fish?

Yes, of course.
The things I do... Could do with a rod.

They amaze me too sometimes, you know.

- [Ace] Mmm.
- Sometimes I dive into the ocean and go...

- [exclaims]...and then, you know...
- [sighs]

...the fish would just scatter.

And not scatter
because they're scared of me.

Because... The thing is,
they know I'm a hunter, and when I...

- Thank you, sir.
- Yes!

[Ace whistling]

- Wait. Wait, just wait.
- What now?

I'm afraid of the water and I can't swim.

- What?
- I'm afraid of the water

and I can't swim, man. We can't do this.

What about all the stuff
you told Zandi's dad

about you being able to swim
and being the fish magnet?

- You're Aquaman.
- Okay, you made me hyper, all right?

You made me have confidence.
I had to say something because

- you know that man hates me.
- He doesn't.

- He hates me.
- He doesn't.

- He does. [panting]
- He doesn't like you.

And those are two completely
different things.

[panting]

Okay, this is a bad idea.

- This is a bad idea.
- What are you doing?

- Okay, deep breath, my boy.
- [panting] Okay.

[both inhale deeply]

[sighs] Yeah, you'll be okay.
You'll be okay.

- It's making me dizzy.
- You're supposed to exhale.

Okay. [pants] Okay.
Okay, that's better. Thank you.

- [panting]
- So tell me, tell me,

you're suppose to be
some kind of genius, right?

How does this...

W-Whatever this...
How do you get a girl like Zandi?

Ouch.

What I'm saying is, you're the inventor
of the Mate-Date app.

You get me? Do you know
how much ass I got because of you?

Well, that really wasn't
the point of the app.

That's not the point of this conversation.

What I'm saying is,
you invented an app about hooking up

and you don't understand
the fundamental basics of hooking up?

Oh, I think that might be the issue
that we're having with the app upgrade.

You know, advertising revenue
is on a decline and...

Ow. Ow... Why?

Focus.

You are about to marry
the most gorgeous woman in the world.

Psychopath, granted,
but each to their own.

Okay,
you're getting to a point here, right?

What I'm saying is, you need to man up.

- Okay.
- The father is the obstacle.

If you can win over the dad,
you're a winner.

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- You get me?

- Now, let's get you on that boat.
- Mm-mmm.

- Uh-uh, man.
- [exclaims] I get sea sick.

I'll vomit, and then
when I vomit, you'll vomit,

and then everybody vomits.
And then we all die.

Dude, all you have to do
is just sit there,

play with a fishing rod.

Just throw it in the water,
it's not that hard.

Mmm. Okay.

[coughing]

[panting, vomiting]

[coughing]

Your cousin doesn't seem
to be feeling well.

No, sir, we just found out that
it's better to use real food.

It works much better than fish bait.

Dad, I think we're gonna have to go back.

No, no, no. Nonsense, Zandi.
Leave that man alone,

he has motion sickness.
Give him some pills, he'll be all right.

I'm fine. I'm fine.
I'm good, I'm good. I'm good.

- Baby, I can go fishing.
- No. You don't need to.

- Hey.
- [panting]

You don't need to.

Oh, man.

Do you hear what I'm hearing, Ace?

What's that, sir?

The peace. The quiet of the water.

That's why I love coming here.

Because you have no idea
what you're gonna get

until the line gets taut.

And there's the splattering of the water
as you reel it in.

That sense of achievement, Ace.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

Uh...

Oh, no, sir. I live a different life.
I don't know this life.

Yeah, we live different lives because
I want everyone who joins this family

to know how to maintain
the standard of living.

I mean, I'm just protecting
what I've worked so hard for.

Well, with all due respect, sir,

Zandi doesn't strike me as someone
who needs protection.

Oh. Why don't you tell me, Ace?

What's your story?

Sorry, sir?

About my daughter. What's your story?

[stammers] Uh, no, I..., no, I...

You think you can come into my home

capture us with your jokes,
with your charm and with your lies

so that I can feel pity for you and
reduce the lobola price for my daughter?

Oh. [chuckles] Is it that obvious, sir?

There's one thing
I want you to understand,

is that there's no amount of money
in this whole entire world

that can amount to Zandi.

[Zandi sighs] I gave him one pill
and he's just out like a light.

Oh, what did I tell you about this guy?

- [Zandi] Uh-uh, Dad. What's up with you?
- [Mr. Zungu laughs]

Come on, you know it's true.

Would you like something to drink, son?

- That would be great, sir.
- [Mr. Zungu] Okay. Come on, Zandi.

- [Zandi] Oh.
- Hold this.

You mustn't let him catch the first one.

You know,
it means my dad really likes you.

I mean, an entire drink offer.

[laughs] I'm telling you,
if he walks out there with a whiskey,

I'll actually throw myself overboard.

[chuckles]

You know, my dad used to bring me here,
just me and him.

Sometimes, I think he
really must have wished that I was a boy.

The son he didn't have, you know?

- [chuckles]
- I don't know.

[chuckles] I can tell you
without a shadow of a doubt,

he's proud of you.

- [laughs]
- More so proud of the man you've become.

- Oh, shut up. [laughs]
- [laughs]

- [laughs]
- [Ace] Yeah.

[sighs] I mean, my father's definition
of quality time

was taking me out to cheat on my mom.

That's terrible.

Well, it wasn't all that bad.

I'd get myself an ice cream afterwards.

[laughs]

And, um, what about your... your mom?

My mother passed.

Oh.

I'm... I'm sorry to hear that.

Oh, no. It's all right. It's all right.

At least you and Duke know what you want.

So, you... you don't?

[stammers]

You don't know what you want?

- No... Whoa!
- [line whirs]

- Oh! Okay, wait, wait, wait!
- [Ace] Fish!

- [exclaims] O... okay.
- Fish, fish! Okay, okay.

- Wait a minute.
- Okay.

- [laughs]
- Whoa. [laughs]

- Okay, okay, okay.
- Hold it here. [laughs]

Yeah, I got one! I got one!

- I got one! A fish. Reel it, reel it.
- Wait, I see it.

- [laughs]
- [laughs]

[exclaims] Okay, reel it. Reel it.

Reel it. Nice. Nice. Nice.

- [Mr. Zungu] Whiskey?
- [Ace] Whiskey.

It's my favorite, it's Japanese.
What is it? Don't you drink?

[both laughing]

- Reel it, reel it. [laughs]
- Okay, okay.

- [Ace laughs, exclaims]
- [Zandi laughs]

Come on!

Okay, okay, okay. Let me help you.

- No, no. It's fine. I...
- It's the least I can do, Zandi.

Sometimes these machines get
a little tricky and need...

- [bangs]
- ...a little TLC.

And then.

Voilà!

I... I paid for the Hopeless Love,
but it's fine.

You should try
not being so easy to please.

- I'll get you the chocolate.
- No, no, no. It's fine.

Um, I'm on a diet anyway, so...

Zandi, it's one chocolate. You won't die.

[chuckles]

You know, that's how it starts.

A bite of something I know is not good
for me and the next thing I know,

I am reassessing all my life decisions.

We're still talking
about the chocolate, right?

- [thuds]
- [Zandi sighs, exclaims]

- What's going on with you?
- Why are you still here?

- I need to know what you want.
- I'm not talking about the chips.

I'm not talking about chips either.

Okay, I'm the negotiator.
I'm the middle man.

I'm here to make sure both parties
get exactly what it is that they want.

[Duke] Hand brake.

[nurse] No, Mr. Maseko.

[laughing]

[groaning]

Mrs. Maseko.

- Ms. Zungu, actually.
- [nurse] Oh.

- Will he be all right?
- He's going to be fine.

He just had an allergic reaction
to scopolamine.

S-Sco...?

The motion sickness tablets.

Oh.

How do you suffer from motion sickness

and be allergic to the medication
that helps it?

That's what I said.

- Oh, my gosh!
- [stammers]

Look at the pretty birds.

Yeah, the doctor gave him one
mild painkiller and it's had him buzzing.

So he's got a low tolerance to everything.

Uh, here's his prescription of antibiotics
and the rash should clear up by morning.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

They're so pretty.

Yeah, you know what. I think
I'll just take him back to the hotel.

No, nonsense. It's fine.
You guys can come back home with me.

I mean there's enough room for everyone.

[sighs]

I really like the urinals here.

[Ace] Hmm?

They're on wheels.

[giggling]

- [Ace] Huh?
- [trickling]

[groans]

[groaning]

Mmm. [sighing]

Okay, boy.

You know, you're right.
I think it's a good idea.

- Let's just take him back to your place.
- Yeah.

I mean,
the hotel is a three-star in any case.

Mm-hmm.

Yep. Are you ready, boy?

- I want chips.
- Hmm.

[Duke, Ace grunting]

- Okay, okay, wait. Okay, wait. I got you.
- [Duke sighing]

- You saw me today, right?
- Mm-hmm.

- I was good.
- Yep.

- Did good.
- Yep.

[exclaims] Oh, my God. Oh, wow.

You're so strong.

Oh.

- Ace.
- Yeah.

I love you, man.

- Yeah.
- You're like a real brother to me.

It's the drugs, my boy.

- No, shush.
- It's the drugs.

- Okay.
- It's the love in my heart.

- No, it's...
- It's the love in my heart. Feel it.

[vocalizing] You hear it?

It's a regular heartbeat, boy.

- It's the drugs. It's the drugs.
- Nobody's been there for me, Ace.

You're a good man.

Yeah, boy.

No, you're a good kid. You must just...
you must stand up for yourself.

[shushing]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Duke] You deserve love, okay?

One day, you'll find it.

You'll feel the same way
that I feel for Rachel.

- What?
- [snoring]

Who, boy? What? What?

- What did you say about Rachel?
- [groaning]

I love you too.

- I love you.
- Okay.

- I love Zandi.
- Uh-huh.

I love everyone on Earth.

Okay, okay. But... but Rachel.
You said something about Rachel.

Who is this Rachel?

[snoring]

Hmm, boy?

Who is Rachel?

Rach?

[sighs]

Rachel?

[chuckling]

Wow, boy.

- [parent] Hello, hello.
- Hey, baby.

[chuckles]

Let me pour you some juice.

- [parent] Thank you, love.
- Ah, Ace. Nice of you to join us.

Please sit down.

Oh.

Thank you. [clears throat]

Even though it was a bit hard to sleep

because of the elephant in the room.

- [parent] What?
- [both] What?

Yeah. My cousin literally snores
like an elephant.

[gasps] All right.

- He does. He does.
- I do?

- [Mr. Zungu] So that was the noise.
- You do.

You see, love.
I told you there was a bear in the house.

[chuckling]

- [Duke] My bad.
- [phone buzzing]

[exclaims] Sorry.

I gotta take this. Excuse me.

So, ma'am, you made this?

Mm-hmm. Made with love.

Ah, yes. My wife is an exquisite chef.
Aren't you, love?

Baby.

That means I'll have to pay extra money
for lobola for Mom.

Hey! I'm sitting right next to you.

[all chuckling]

I'm sorry, sir.

[whispering] But you guys,
I give you five years tops.

You do know I can still hear you, right?

[all chuckling]

Besides, I have no competition.

Here we have 30 years of love,

friendship, and devotion.

- Thank you, my love.
- Oh, baby.

- [Mr. Zungu kisses]
- [sighs]

- Thank you, my darling.
- [chuckling]

- [phone buzzing]
- [Zandi] Oh.

Excuse me. I have to take this.

Okay.

You boys were raised well.

You're trustworthy
and you've got good intentions.

What I also like about you two
is the brotherhood that you have.

That is very important to us,

especially when we know what kind
of family our daughter is joining.

It's good.

[chuckles]

So,

we would be honored
to bring these two families together.

The lobola negotiations can get started
next weekend.

Oh. [chuckles]

Yeah, no. Duke will be happy to hear that.

Good.

[Duke] Oh!

[sighs] I'm afraid
I have to cut the weekend short.

Seems like we have an interested investor
for the app,

and I need to fly back to Jozi to prep,
like, today.

[stammers] So... so, boy, that means
I have to leave with you?

No, boy. The... the... the elders have
cooked for us. Let's eat.

And lunch. Think how good lunch will be.

- Ma'am, there's lunch, right?
- Mm-hmm.

- Lunch.
- Yeah, no, no.

You can stay, it's fine.
I'm just gonna change my flight.

- Listen, in the spirit of celebrating...
- What's this?

...that, my boy, is the reason
we're going to be here next week.

You'll officially become
Mr. Zandile Zungu.

[Duke squealing]

I'm playing. I'm playing.

- Thank you so much, Dad. [squeals]
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Okay, okay, okay.

Yeah, sir. He's a... He's a hugger.

Don't thank me just yet.

I... You know what?
I have a perfect way for us to celebrate.

My client has a performance tonight
in town, and, uh, you guys are invited.

Oh, I can't.
I have to get back to Jozi today.

There's an interested investor
that I need to pitch for.

Uh, who's your client?

Uh, it's Kwesta.

[laughing]

When you say Kwesta,
which Kwesta are you talking about?

Do you mean "Yabo la ngizomosha kakhulu"?

That bass-baritone?

- Are you a fan?
- A fan? A f...

[sighs] Am I wearing
clean underwear right now?

Look, the answer is yes.
But I'm... I'm a... Kwesta.

When he has his hair dyed
right here... His German cut right now...

[laughs]

Kwesta, dude!

Great. Yeah, so take Ace. He's harmless.

- Yeah. Yeah.
- [Duke] Yeah.

Yes! Okay, okay. What time?

Oh, thank you, thank you.
Rachel, thank you.

Listen, I appreciate you so much.

I appreciate you. I appreciate you.

Thanks.

Okay.

So, are you sure
you're cool with me being here?

Yeah, why not?
I mean you said it yourself,

that they need to trust you, so...

- You see? Now you're thinking.
- Yeah.

So, Rachel managed
to book me a flight in a couple of hours.

Oh. Rachel?

Yeah. I don't know
what I could do without her, actually.

My boy, tell me, Rachel is she...

Is she single? Is she seeing someone?

- Do you want Rachel?
- My boy,

you'll soon come to find

that the ladies want me
and I want the ladies.

It's in my gene code or something.

- Mm-hmm. Well...
- Yeah.

...Rachel really isn't the type, you know.

What? The type to be with men
or what's the story?

No, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm just saying that, um,

she's kind of important
to my business, you know.

- Hmm.
- What?

- You heard me, boy.
- Why?

It's just that, you know, I thought
me and you were like this.

No, no, no, no, no. We are. We're one.

- Feels like you're trying to cockblock me.
- I'm not. Okay, okay.

- Okay. Uh, don't take this the wrong way.
- Mm-hmm.

It's just that... Uh, you know,

you're kind of a heartbreaker, you know?

I'm just kidding, boy.

Oh. Okay. Whoo. [chuckles] Okay.

- I'd never do anything...
- All right. Yeah.

- ...to jeopardize your work.
- Okay.

It's just something you said. That's all.

What did I say?

Hmm? Uh, nothing, nothing.

- Listen, you've got a flight to catch.
- I do.

- You've got to go.
- Okay.

But before I leave, I just wanted to say
that I know that we're not really family,

but I have to say, um,
you're good people, you really are.

- And thank you.
- [chuckles]

- You on your meds, you still on your meds.
- I'm not.

- It's the meds.
- No, this is what I am.

- Whoa, what are you doing?
- Bring it in.

- Ah. I'm going nowhere.
- Come on.

- Come on.
- I'm good, boy.

- Are you hopping?
- [whooshing]

Don't.

- Dude, please. Come on.
- Bluetooth connection established.

Okay, cool, cool. All right.

[Duke grunts]

I thought we should celebrate.

What's the occasion?

- Are you serious?
- What?

This is the biggest milestone
of your life.

You're marrying the woman of your dreams.

- Oh.
- [Rachel chuckles]

Yeah.

Actually, you know, it's late, you know?

And I don't want him
having anything in his state, you know?

- So...
- Oh?

You're worried about him?

- Yeah.
- His Uber's on the way.

- Is that what I think it is?
- Oh, yes, it is.

- It smells like what I think it is.
- It is what you think it is.

It's a bacon cheeseburger. For my heart.

- [Rachel] You're so silly.
- [Themba] Hey! Hey!

[Rachel] Oh, hey, there.

- Wakey-wakey.
- Sorry. Did we wake you up?

- [Rachel laughing]
- Hey, piss off. It's not funny.

[Rachel] Oh, I beg to differ. Come.

You're right on time for a toast
just before your Uber arrives.

Come. Bottoms up, everyone.

- My Uber? We're here all night.
- [Rachel] Mm-hmm.

Oh, no. I'm here for an all-nighter.
You're going home.

I'll update you about
the presentation tomorrow morning.

- You sure?
- I'm sure.

Because I'm not gonna change your mind.

- That's fine.
- Fine, done.

[laughs] Okay, good. Let's toast.

To life changes.

- [Duke, Themba] Life changes.
- [glasses clink]

Oh, and kicking ass at this presentation
tomorrow.

- Yes, yes. Definitely.
- Yes.

- [Themba] Whoo! Come on.
- Ooh.

Ooh!

- Whoo! That was a big sip.
- Yeah.

Anyway, kids. Daddy's out.
Don't do anything that I would.

Who am I kidding?
What do you know about the word, "fun"?

- [Themba laughs]
- [Duke clears throat] He's crazy.

Yeah, he's a fool.

[Duke] So, where were we?

Oh, yes. Um... [speaking indistinctly]

- [music playing]
- [crowd cheering]

[Kwesta performing "Nobody"]

[whistles] Let me see your hands
in the air, like this.

- Hey, listen!
- Huh?

- Let's get shots!
- Huh?

Let's go. Let's get shots.

- Okay, okay, okay.
- Go.

[singing continues]

Get shots. Shots, shots.

[dance music playing]

You know, I don't remember the last time
I was at a party until the lights went on.

Oh, sorry.
I didn't realize you're actually boring.

- I'm boring?
- [laughs]

I'm sorry, did you not
see me do the vosho?

Did you see me do all of that?

- I just thought you had a cramp.
- Oh?

[both laughing]

You know, aren't you hungry?

Because I am.

- Mmm.
- I am starving.

But, uh, the problem is,

where are we going to find
something open this late?

Unless...

Unless what?

Zandi?

[Zandi whispering] I think they're gone.

- Okay. Let's go.
- Go, go, go.

[objects clatter]

[both exhaling, chuckling]

[Ace] Wait, wait. Here is fine.

[Zandi] Oh.

This is crazy.

- Ooh.
- [Zandi laughing]

Remind me, who's the boring one again?

- Okay. Okay.
- Hmm?

- Hmm?
- Okay, okay. Look...

Look. Yeah, you go from...
from twerking in the club

to being a kitchen burglar
with just a few shots of tequila?

Okay, tell me.

How do you know if you're still drunk?

Okay, the first clear indication is when...

Okay.

...is you looking inside the fridge

of the kitchen of the club you broke into.

Okay, it's not a break-in
if they allowed us in.

[both laugh]

So technically, it's a break-stay.

- That makes no sense!
- [Zandi laughing]

[Ace] Whoa, okay.
I've got you. I've got you.

- Food.
- [Zandi] Um...

- Tomato.
- Mm-hmm.

- To... tomato. [laughs]
- [laughs]

Let me tell you, I can make reservations
to the best restaurants.

- Yeah, yeah.
- That counts, right?

I'm sure that'll come in handy
for the next kitchen you break into.

You know, it's not like me
to just go around breaking into clubs.

Or maybe it's just like you
and you've spent all this time

pretending to be someone you're not.

You mean a woman who's determined
and trying to build a stable future?

I mean,
a woman who's afraid to take risks.

Okay, marriage is a risk,
and I'm taking it.

Did you know that over 20%
of marriages end up in divorce?

- I know, right?
- Is that why you're afraid of commitment?

- Relax, okay?
- [laughs]

I said nothing
about being afraid of commitment.

Oh, so it's fun to go around
pursuing other people's girlfriends?

[sighs]

I did not know that you were with anyone,
let alone Duke.

He's a solid guy.

Yeah.

Duke is honest

and uncomplicated.

Yeah, he's not a risk.

Listen,

Duke... Duke is a great guy.

Any woman would be lucky to be with him.
All right?

You've got yourself a good guy
on your hands.

[sighs]

[Zandi] Mmm.

- Wait.
- Hmm?

Is this really that good
or are we just drunk?

No, we're drunk.

We're drunk.

Because I can't cook to save my life.

Oh, wow. And here I was, thinking
you'd make a good house husband some day.

Oh. A gender bias joke.
You've come a long way.

- Oh, shut up. Shut up.
- Mm-hmm.

[chuckles]

Okay.

- So.
- Mm-hmm?

What would the line be?

- The line?
- Mm-hmm.

- I'm at the bar.
- Mm-hmm.

I'm chilling with my friends,
bored as hell.

You see me for the first time,
you come to my table.

What do you say?

Okay.

[Ace clears throat]

[Ace clears throat]

Young lady.

Do you by any chance
have the Wi-Fi password?

Does it look to you like I work here?

No, it's just that...

I feel a connection.

[chuckling]

- That was terrible.
- That was terrible.

That was terrible.

It was terrible, but you,

spot on, Zandi.

"How dare you!"

- "Crazy!"
- Okay.

[Ace sighs] Mmm.

You know, I don't get you.

- How so?
- I mean, a guy like you... Right?

Who is funny, smart, charming

who's got potential
to even be a chef someday.

Why is he still running after girls?

You mean, as opposed to being
bored and tied-down?

Oh, so when you think marriage,
you think about boredom?

No, it's just... Okay.

People marry who they feel safest with

not necessarily the people
they want to be with.

You and your family,

that's a life you see on TV.

I don't know it.

[sighs]

Hey, you've got...

[radio chatter]

Oh. I've been meaning to
blow out someone's brains with this gun.

Hey, my friend. There's no need
t-t-to blow anything... anything.

We were standing here, and then
we're chilling and they locked us in!

And we sat here and we got hungry.

- So we decided...
- Yeah.

...instead of starving,
we could make a sandwich.

A sandwich, my man. We were hungry.

- [Zandi] Yeah.
- Get out of here.

- [Ace] Yeah.
- Out!

- [Zandi] Sorry.
- We were just hungry, you see?

Something to eat. Okay.

You're doing a good job.

Thank you.

- You're doing a great job yourself.
- Thank you.

- You're doing a great job.
- You're doing a great job.

You're doing a great job.

[Zandi] I'm sorry.
About what almost happened.

It shouldn't have happened.

It's just, I don't remember the last time
I had so much fun.

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

I'm... I'm the one
who should be apologizing.

I mean, man, I've never felt

loose and free like this.

Yeah, me too.

[laughs] I believe that.

Okay, fine. Maybe I have been a bit rigid.

I was wrong about you, okay?
And I'm sorry.

It's just, it's so refreshing
for you to just meet someone

who knows himself,
who is self-aware, who can open up.

I swear, all the men these days,
they just lie, unprovoked.

Listen, uh...

Zandi, I'm... I'm not who you think I am.

There's a few things I want to tell you.

- I want to tell you that I...
- [phone buzzing]

Hello?

[Duke] Babe.

Are you sleeping?

No, go back to sleep
and I'll call you when you're awake.

No, no, it's fine. It's fine.

I was actually awake.

Are you drunk?

How does one know when they're drunk?

[laughs] Well, that's a sign.

I mean, I only had, like,
two cups of champagne.

[Zandi] I can believe that.

Wait. Tell me,

didn't you say you were preparing
for your meeting tomorrow?

I am.

I was just calling to say that I love you.

Yeah.

I love you too.

So we're really doing this, right?

[sighs] I-I guess we are.

You're not getting cold feet, right?

No, no, no. Of course not.

You?

O-Of course not.

Okay, cool, cool. Can't wait.

- Night.
- Good night.

[sighing]

[chime]

All right. This is Uncle Brian.

What we know about Uncle Brian thus far

is that Uncle Brian has been selected
to speak for the family, right?

What's rule number one?

Get in and get out.

We don't want people
catching feelings here.

The longer it takes, the riskier it is.

Geez, you make it sound
like a tooth extraction.

[scoffs] Okay, boy,
what am I missing here?

Unless you're getting cold feet, man?

No, me? Oh, no. Me?
I'm fine. I'm... Proceed.

[Long-John] Gosh. [clears throat]

Why don't we change the day, postpone?

So that those of us who hustle
can get a chance to work.

Get our hustle on, first.

So now all of a sudden
you have plans? Huh?

- Our money is not good enough for you.
- No, no, no, no, no.

Mm-mmm, mm-mmm. It's nothing serious.

It's just a little thing.

Let's carry on. Carry on. Carry on, yeah.

I don't know about you, but the sooner
we get this done, the better.

I want to continue with my life.

[attempts American accent]
Feel you, homie. You know what I'm saying?

[normal] What? It's a... It's a new play.

Biza.

No accent.

None. I'm actually
going to start with you.

Do me a favor, would you?
Please just stay quiet.

Be a mute. Can you do that?

Yes, I can. I mean, I... I know
how to use, uh, sign language, you see.

Yes. I was the lead and we
toured the country, the whole country.

Yeah. Uh, what's the name of
that, uh, uh, that... that silent play?

The adaptation we did?

Uh, Death of a Salesman.

Only, we called it Deaf is the Salesman.

You know what, it's cool.

I don't want to hear it,
I don't want to hear it. But,

the deaf uncle works.

The deaf uncle...

The deaf uncle works
and people like being sympathetic.

Mmm. Nothing screams sympathy
like a disabled person.

- Yeah.
- Person with a disability.

- What?
- [Duke] Person with a disability.

You could get canceled
if they hear you speaking like that.

Okay, Biza, you are mute.

Uncle Long-John. It's me and you.

We are the house
and the house always wins.

Finally. Finally I get to be the dealer.

Miriam.

- [giggles]
- Oh, my beautiful lady. Love, love!

Do you know
what I'm going to ask you to do?

You are my bad cop.

You... [sucks teeth]...I love my role.

Hey, but listen.
Now, I need to get handcuffs.

No, no, no, what are you doing
with handcuffs? You're not an actual cop.

What are you doing?
It's a figure of speech, Ma.

Uh, no, it doesn't matter.

You can see that Uncle Brian is a snack.
[clicks tongue] Yummy.

What? What are you looking at?

I know what a snack is. Geez!

Aunt Miriam, you've eaten.

There's no need for you
to eat a snack, eh?

Leave that alone. Your only job
is to lower that price. That's all.

Should I tell them
that she's not a virgin?

[both] No, no!

No. You say... You say nothing about Zandi.

Oh, she's a virgin?

Auntie, hey, okay?
That's none of your business.

There's a lot you still need
to learn from me, young man.

[Ace] Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh. Leave Duke,
leave Duke, leave Uncle Brian alone, okay?

I need us all to focus on the goal.

Because I'm telling you, if they smell
anything out of place, our money is gone!

Hey, don't play like that
when it comes to money.

- [sighs]
- [Long-John grunts]

Okay.

Let's take it from the top. Uncle Brian...

Yes, I'm mute so I didn't hear anything.

[Miriam clicks tongue]

- We're all talking though.
- Mmm.

[sighs]

[smacks lips]

[cracks]

[sniffles]

[Ace] Mr. Zungu, this is our family.

This is Aunt Miriam.

[grunts] Miriam.

Uncle Long-John.

- John.
- Nice to meet you.

This is Uncle Biza.

Ah, Biza.

Oh. Uncle Biza is... He's deaf.

David.

David.

E-E-Excuse me?

He said his name is David.

Nice to meet you.

Welcome to our home.

So... so... so... [chuckles]...you can sign?

Well, I am a judge.

I have to be fair to everyone in my court.

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

This information would've been
very helpful earlier.

I know sign language.

I am David.

He keeps signing, "I am David."

Yeah. Ooh. [laughs]

It's just that... [clears throat]

I'm sorry. Uh,

Uncle Biza doesn't like us using
his street name.

So, for first introductions,

he prefers to call himself
by his given name, David.

[Mr. Zungu] Ah, well then.

That's all right.

My brother here will tell you what to do
to continue with the program.

You just wait.

We'll call you when we're ready.

I am David.

Brother, these people?

Um...

[stammers] Mr. Zungu,
thank you, sir. Yeah.

- Yeah. Mr. Zungu...
- [Mr. Zungu] How are you, gentlemen?

But... But no... What's wrong with you?

What?

- [stammers]
- What did I do?

- [Miriam shushes]
- You called yourself...

[Biza, Ace clear throat]

- I asked you if...
- [Miriam whispers]

You said you acted in a play
and you signed the whole time.

Yes. I was a lead in a play. I was in
a silent play. He underestimates me.

I was a lead with one line.

I had to say, "I am David."

But I had to sign it.

We called it a "sign line."

- Ah.
- You know what?

From now on until we leave,
I am asking you very nicely.

I don't want to hear a single syllable.
A-E-I-O-U. Nothing.

And then... And then you two, you two?

Are there any
hidden talents that you have?

Things that I need to know right now?

- Uh, Long-John.
- Hmm?

- Problem?
- Uh-uh.

[inhales sharply]

Maybe this is the right time for me
to tell you that I came with handcuffs.

But God, I'm your son. Huh?

What have I done? Why? Why? Why, God?

And the groom, my child?
Can he take care of you?

Come on, Mom.

Hey, we want to know, my child.

You know a man's beauty
is in his livestock.

[laughs]

[chattering]

Let's go, boy.

Huh? Yeah.

♪ A man's beauty is in his livestock ♪

- I'll be dancing. I'm the mother in-law.
- Oh, I know you.

All right. We can see the down payment
is reflecting, so let's get into details.

As we're all seated here,

you know I have the right to conduct
these negotiations smoothly

so we can wrap up and eat.

I heard that Duke has started
with his video games.

[imitates video game beeps]

Sir, with all due respect,
Duke, he... he makes apps.

He's the very best.

Okay sure, apps.

Yes.

In five minutes, we need to be done
with this whole conversation.

All we need to do
is agree on a price. Huh?

Right?

20,000.

- Uh-uh.
- Yes.

[stammers] Would you like
some time to discuss this?

- No. Uh...
- No?

No, that's not right.
Uh, Zandi deserves more.

I mean, okay, fine.

She doesn't know how to cook,
but she deserves more.

We also deserve more money.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're confusing me, now.

Are you telling me the price
that we're talking about is too low?

- Or do you want to raise it?
- Sir, please give me just a few minutes.

I need to just talk to Duke
and to the parents

just to see how we can resolve this.

- [noise through headphones]
- Fix it!

- No, man, no. Hey, hey, hey, hey!
- What?

Just a moment.

Are you betting on horses right now?

Yeah. I'm winning, man.

But you're disturbing us.

- [clears throat]
- I apologize about my uncle.

He can be forward sometimes.

So I'm going to contact the parents.

- You.
- Uh...

Zandi's friend, right? From the club.

Listen, I need to speak to Duke.
I'm sorry.

Things aren't looking good right now.

How? What's going on?

- There's something I need to tell you.
- Tell me.

[Mandy] Bongani Langa!

My sister, are you talking to us?

I'm talking to the both of you two.

So who's Bongani?

Okay, Mandy has this warped theory

that they paid you to negotiate
for her brother-in-law's family.

That's exactly what it is.

- A warped theory.
- [Mandy] Hmm.

I wasn't sure in the beginning,
but I can see you now.

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

A young mustache and an Afro and you're
definitely fricking Bongani Langa.

Except you're not.

Because he conveniently died
about a month after my sister's wedding.

Okay, my sister.
There's no Bongani Langa here.

I'm Ace Ngubeni and clearly I'm alive!

- Okay, Duke, if... if all of this is true...
- Hmm?

...I'm going to need you to tell me
the truth right now. Just come clean.

She's crazy.
I mean, we're all Masekos here!

[scoffs] You are a Maseko.
He is the Lobola Man.

Hmm? The myth.

The scammer who undercuts families
on lobola negotiations.

- I am Duke's cousin.
- [Zandi] Okay, Duke.

Speak, please.

At the end of the day,
does it really matter who he is?

[exclaims]

I knew it.

- What's your problem now?
- So sorry.

Listen, I wanted to tell you...

- You were going to tell her?
- Uh...

This is the way you wanted us
to start our marriage?

- With lies?
- No, my love. It's not what it looks like.

It looks like you lied
about Ace being your cousin

and paid him to be your negotiator.

Okay, I guess it is what it looks like,
but I wasn't doing it for less money.

- [both] Really?
- Mm-hmm.

How much is he getting paid for this?

I personally think we're focusing
on the wrong thing.

Shut up! Just shut up, Ace... Bongani...
Whoever you are.

Duke,

speak. How much?

- [mumbles]
- What?

- 200,000.
- Damn!

And you, you thought you could come
and make us all fall for you

and my family would come down
to some what, some... some bargain?

Was kissing me part of the plan?

- Whoa, whoa, whoa! You kissed her?
- Ooh.

[stammers]

Technically... [stammers]...we didn't kiss.

So what, you tried to kiss her?

No, my boy. [stammers] It's just...

Okay, I think we should...

We should just take a breather
and hold on a second...

[both grunt]

[groaning] Oh. Oh, God. God, it hurts.

Oh, that hurts.

- [grunts]
- [groans]

- [mumbling]
- Ace! Ace!

- Get off me. Get off.
- [Zandi] Just stop!

- Guys, please!
- Don't do that. Don't do that.

Jesus! Just get off me! Get off me!

Hey, Duke!

It's not looking good.

Biza is causing trouble.

[Mr. Zungu] Hey, stop them! Hey, hey!

Hey, hey, stop them!

[shouting]

Wait! Wait for me!

Wait! [exclaims]

Zandi, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- Don't let them out!
- [engine starts]

Don't let them out!
Don't let them out of the yard!

- Stop them right now!
- [tires squeal]

Whoa! Whoa, stop that car right now!

You uncouth, uncivilized imposters!

You dogs!

[flies buzzing]

- Sex champion!
- [grunts]

Why?

- Yo.
- Geez. [grunts]

And you don't lock the door.
This place is safe, right?

[inhales, clears throat]

What's up? What do you want?

Don't ask me that.
I've been looking for you, dog.

And just look at this place.

You look like crap.

[groans]

I look better than how I feel, dog.

Are you this down, man?

Are you telling me
you caught all the feelings like this?

Like... Nothing, boy.

Ace, catching all the feelings?

You know what your problem is?
You don't get it.

I don't get it? Do you think
this ring is for decoration, boy?

I've got five years of
operational experience.

Don't tell I don't understand.

Ah, boy. Does she at least know, like,
how you feel?

That's my thing, dog. Hey.

I tried to send her a text
to let her know that the boy...

Hey, hey, hey! Text?

Nah. You're not in high school anymore
where you used to play with Mxit.

Can I please tell you
two things women want?

To feel like the center of the universe.

And sex, boy.

Like rounds on rounds.

In the morning, in the evening. Boy.

I'm just saying, bro.

Show her how you feel, man.
Don't just tell her. Goodness.

Just don't text.

Yo.

[Ace] I don't understand.
I've known you my whole life.

When did you start speaking to women?

You're like,
"Hey, hey. You must show her."

What?

Five years, bro.

Five.

Five years.

[phone buzzes]

[grunts] Dude, I forgot.

My wife is in the car
and here I am enjoying your leftovers.

- [chuckles]
- Yo, yo, yo.

Hey, just make sure she knows
that she's got a good one.

You, my man. You're the type
that's compassionate and loving, you know?

Listen, please tell her.

Like, I don't know if you want to
come down and tell her this thing yourself

because she doesn't believe me.

Actually, don't come down.
Stay here, and shower. You hear?

Scrub yourself!

I don't know.
It smells like armpits, like feet.

What's going on, man? Go bath!

You're a charmer boy!

Cool.

- I love you!
- Love yourself.

Goodness!

[door shuts]

[knocks on door]

Aw, baby.

You okay?

Should I call the police?

Patronella.

Meet my son, Ace.

Ace, Patronella.

So, I shouldn't call the police?

- You know what, babe?
- Mm-hmm.

Just... Just give us two seconds, okay?

Mm-hmm.

- Mm-hmm.
- Mmm.

[both chuckle]

[sighs]

Dad.

That's a Teletubby.

Hey, this girl is old enough to be
your stepmother.

[stammers] And what is this?

This is your "hello" now?
Is this your "hello"?

I want you to know that
you're a terrible person.

So why don't you just say that?

Or better yet, send a Whatsapp
and type "terrible person". Send!

Dad, I...

[sighs]

I spent my entire life...

my entire life believing that
love doesn't exist because of you.

Now why would you go
and believe rubbish like that?

Because you don't.

Of course I do!

Dad, if that's the case,
then explain Mom. Huh?

Explain why every opportunity you got,
you cheated on her?

[exclaims] Whoa, whoa!

[sighs]

I loved your mother,
but I was not in love with her.

Then if that's the case, Dad,
why did you stay? Hmm?

[inhales] Because I loved you more.

I should punch you in
the other eye, you know.

Okay, I know. I know, I know.
I'm terrible. I'm fucked up.

Okay? But, you're always my boy.

The first time...

The first time I held you in my arms,

that's when I realized

true love...

really exists.

You know us, the Ngubenis... [chuckles]

...we're not good at this feelings thing
and open heart surgery.

But the question is, you...

Are you able to make yourself
vulnerable for her?

You say for her. Who's that?

The girl, man!

The one who's making your heart bleed
and cry like the rivers of Babylon.

- The reason you punched me.
- [clicks tongue]

Look here, Ace.

Don't do what I would do.

Go and get her.

Go get her, boy. Go get her. Hmm?

Go.

- [Patronella] Gosh, baby.
- Hmm?

I've ran out of data.

Ah, don't worry, my juju, okay?

- [Patronella] Okay.
- Okay, okay. Lovely.

[whispers] Look! She keeps me young.

Uh-uh. Dad, dad, dad, dad.
Hey! I'm still your son.

[knocks on door]

Surprise! [chuckles]

Duke.

- You've been ignoring my calls.
- Yeah.

- Come in, boy.
- Sure, sure, sure.

[blows] I, uh, like the new look.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Um...

Lot of people are telling me
I look like crap, so...

- You do. I was just being nice.
- [sighing] Yeah.

Listen, man.

The reason I've been trying to reach you
is to say, um, I'm sorry.

I screwed up the single most important
thing in your life

and I don't know how
to take that moment back.

Look, Ace. You're not a bad person, man.

I mean, outside of the fact that you tried
to get with your fake cousin's fiancée.

- That's a little questionable, you know.
- [sighs]

I'm joking.

Um, it's not all on you.

I lied to her when I didn't need to.

Thing is, bro, I don't know, man.

She's the type of girl that was
always out of my league growing up.

- And when she asked me out...
- So, she asked you out?

Yes?

I'm sorry. That... That actually
does sound like her. Carry on.

[Duke] So when she asked me out,
I felt so validated, you know?

Like I didn't want to mess it up.

It's crazy that I was scared that
my family would ruin it for me,

but I ended up hiring a fake family
that ended up doing worse.

Yeah.

But I'm still getting married.

Oh.

Not to Zandi.

- Rachel!
- I mean,

Zandi and I were
never really in love, bro.

- Everybody could see it.
- [chuckles] Yeah.

Sorry.

Which brings me
to the real reason why I'm here.

I'm looking for someone to be
a part of the negotiation delegation.

Yeah, uh,
I've quit that life, man, you know.

Lobola Man doesn't exist.

Not as a fake family member.

As a friend.

No, forget that, man. Bring it in!

- Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?
- Bring it in!

- Really? Okay.
- [laughing]

Oh, advice. Shave.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.

Because you look a little like... You know?

- I get you, bro.
- Yeah, you get me.

But go, go, go.

[both stammer]

I'll see myself out.

- Cool, cool. Thanks, bro.
- Cool, cool.

- All right. Chill.
- Nice.

Zandi!

Zandi!

Zandi!

Zandi!

Zandi, I understand if...

you never want to see me again.

Zandi, you make me...

You make me never want
to use another pickup line again.

Just, please, Zandi.

[doorknob rattles]

[Mr. Zungu] She's not here.

Sir, I'm...

I'm sorry.

You know,

I liked you.

But you disrespected me,

my family,
and this family's culture, the Sengwayos.

[Ace] I know.

I'm sorry, sir.

For all that I've done to you
and your family.

Be that is it may,

Zandile isn't here.

[sighs]

I don't know what I was thinking
coming all the way here.

But I am sorry, sir.

I dropped her at the airport an hour ago.

Airport?

She's going to Paris.

But then,

if you're lucky,

you've still got an hour.

- Oh, thank you, sir.
- Hey, hey, hey. Hey.

- [stammers] Sorry.
- Watch yourself.

Contagious.

[stammers] Thank you!

[no audible dialogue]

- [intercom dings]
- [pilot] This is your captain speaking.

We have a minor delay.

We're just waiting for clearance
from traffic control

before taking to the skies.

We should be on schedule to connect you
in Johannesburg

- before heading over to the city of love.
- [intercom dings]

[intercom crackles]

Ladies and gentlemen.

I'd like you to take a look at the woman
that's sitting in 49H.

Isn't she the most gorgeous woman
you've ever laid your eyes on on earth?

She's also the most stubborn,

the most driven,
the most passionate woman,

with a heart of gold.

And I'd like everyone to know...

that I did her wrong.

I lied to her.

What are you doing?

You're not answering any of
my calls or texts.

- I had to do something.
- [chuckles]

- So you decided to hijack a plane?
- [passengers gasping]

Mo. Hey. [chuckles] Hey.

Hey, look. No, no, no. That's not
what she means. It's a joke, it's a joke!

It's not what's happening to you
right now. Okay, it's a joke.

Why would you say something
like that on a plane?

- Do you know that you're crazy?
- I know.

Okay, what are you doing?
What are you doing?

[chattering]

Zandile Zungu.

The truth is that...

ever since I laid eyes on you...

I can't stop thinking about you.

You're the first thing I think about
in the morning

and the last thing I think about
when I go to bed.

And I don't know if you feel the same way,

but I just know that

I don't want to spend
the rest of my life wondering.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry about lying.

I'm sorry about everything.

Okay.

Get up then.

Zandi, you...

You make me want to be honest.

You see me.

Oh, my goodness. What are you doing?

[stammering] Don't! Plea...

[Ace] Take a risk.

[passenger] Say yes, baby!

Choose the chocolate.

What kind of primary school proposal
is this?

[chuckles]

[passengers cheer, applaud]

By the powers vested in me,

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

You may kiss your bride.

- Okay, okay!
- [giggles]

- [Rachel] You got it?
- I got it. Come here.

[crowd cheers]

Yeah!

That's my boy!

Hey. Aren't you the Lobola Man?

- Yeah, no.
- No, listen, man.

I also just proposed.

Congratulations, buddy.

Look, man.
I'm also gonna need a lobola man.

[cheering continues]