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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:01,640 Oh,come on,Melissa. 2 00:00:01,650 --> 00:00:04,380 How long are you gonna keep punishing me for this? 3 00:00:04,740 --> 00:00:10,560 Okay,okay, uh,once again, uh,I did not technically have sex with your mother. 4 00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:14,010 You want to catch me up? 5 00:00:14,020 --> 00:00:16,850 - Melissa,are you gonna let me talk? - Well,you know Alan was nailing his receptionist,right? 6 00:00:16,860 --> 00:00:17,610 Yeah. 7 00:00:17,650 --> 00:00:20,610 - Apparently,she caught him in bed with her mother. - Are you gonna let me talk? 8 00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:21,890 What do you know? 9 00:00:21,930 --> 00:00:25,300 I've been calling him that for years, and now he's up and done it. 10 00:00:26,070 --> 00:00:30,840 I was not responsible for my actions. I was stoned out of my mind. 11 00:00:31,270 --> 00:00:34,240 You know,that excuse has never once worked for me. 12 00:00:34,670 --> 00:00:37,610 Me,either. Copsorboyfriends. 13 00:00:38,010 --> 00:00:41,120 No. Hey,hey,hey, your mother put enough pot in that bana bread 14 00:00:41,130 --> 00:00:44,570 to treat every case of glaucoma in the San Fernando Valley. 15 00:00:44,990 --> 00:00:48,590 I have a recipe for macaroons. Very similar. 16 00:00:49,470 --> 00:00:52,540 I was so high, I didn't even know who she was. 17 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:54,710 We were just colors. 18 00:00:55,420 --> 00:00:57,960 I was red,she was blue. 19 00:00:57,990 --> 00:01:00,390 We were trying to make purple. 20 00:01:00,750 --> 00:01:02,520 Honey,my phone's dead. Can I borrow your cell? 21 00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:04,960 - Sure. It's on the coffee table. - Thanks. 22 00:01:04,970 --> 00:01:09,700 Okay,so-so bottom line, I was drugged and molested by your mother, andI'mthe bad guy? 23 00:01:10,610 --> 00:01:14,350 Man,how many times have I heard you make this phone call? 24 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:20,480 Yeah,who'd have thought, of the two of us,I'd be the one to end up in a healthy, stable relationship? 25 00:01:22,110 --> 00:01:25,980 Who is Rachel, and why is she sending you topless photos? 26 00:01:27,250 --> 00:01:29,870 Yeah,who'd have thought? 27 00:01:30,740 --> 00:01:38,230 - =http:/sfile. ydy. com=- proudly presents 28 00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:50,140 - =http:/sfile. ydy. com=- sync:������ 29 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:56,660 Two and a Half Men Season06 Episode19 30 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:04,410 You want to explain to me why this woman is sending you naked pictures of herself? 31 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:06,650 I'd love to explain it. 32 00:02:11,750 --> 00:02:13,030 Go ahead. 33 00:02:13,060 --> 00:02:15,560 I said I'd love to. I didn't say I could. 34 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,740 Are you sleeping with her? 35 00:02:17,770 --> 00:02:19,890 No,no,of course not. 36 00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:22,090 Then why the pictures? 37 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:27,930 Uh,well, my-my-my-my... my best guess would be that,like a lot of girls, 38 00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:32,140 she wanted to show off her new boob job. 39 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:35,540 That'syour best guess? 40 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:41,030 Well,you wouldn't understand because clearly, God has blessed you with this great bounty. 41 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:44,010 - Damn it,Charlie, I want to know... - Excuse me. I am on the phone. 42 00:02:44,780 --> 00:02:46,340 Alan's on the phone. 43 00:02:46,350 --> 00:02:49,480 Don't shush me. Who is this Rachel? 44 00:02:49,490 --> 00:02:50,800 Nobody really. 45 00:02:50,830 --> 00:02:55,650 I used to go out with her way,way before you and I met and I fell so deeply in love. 46 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:59,220 Head-over-heels in love. Puppy dog love. Woof! 47 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:04,130 Hang on,Melissa. I couldn't hear anything after "You son of a bitch. " 48 00:03:04,610 --> 00:03:06,970 Does this Rachel know you're engaged? 49 00:03:07,810 --> 00:03:11,460 Think long and hard before you start lying to me. 50 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:14,130 I was. That's why I said,"Um... " 51 00:03:14,140 --> 00:03:16,360 - Charlie... - She doesn't know. 52 00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:17,950 Why not? 53 00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:21,280 Boy,you're gonna keep this flapjack on the griddle, aren't you? 54 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:28,360 Berta,would you give us a minute? 55 00:03:28,390 --> 00:03:31,140 Oh,you're gonna need more than a minute. 56 00:03:32,940 --> 00:03:35,420 So long. I'm gonna miss you. 57 00:03:35,850 --> 00:03:38,060 What are you talking about? She's not going anywhere. 58 00:03:38,070 --> 00:03:41,150 Are you? Where-where you going? Chelsea? 59 00:03:41,490 --> 00:03:42,430 Chelsea,wait. 60 00:03:42,470 --> 00:03:43,780 Can't we just put this behind us? 61 00:03:43,820 --> 00:03:46,750 I - I swear I'll never make out with your mother again. 62 00:03:48,260 --> 00:03:51,530 Let's face it,Charlie. We both knew you were gonna blow it eventually. 63 00:03:51,540 --> 00:03:54,910 I didn't. I had my suspicions, but I wasn't sure. 64 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:57,640 I wish I could say the same. Good-bye. 65 00:03:58,550 --> 00:04:00,600 - Oh,please don't leave. - Oh,please don't hang up. 66 00:04:00,610 --> 00:04:03,200 I love you! 67 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:07,810 And I love you,too. 68 00:04:12,540 --> 00:04:13,850 Sure you don't want a drink? 69 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:17,300 No. When I'm depressed,alcohol just makes me feel worse. 70 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:21,630 Yeah,see,the trick is to drink past that. 71 00:04:23,150 --> 00:04:26,110 Not a sprint,it's a marathon. 72 00:04:27,210 --> 00:04:30,680 You ever think we're both doomed to grow old alone and unloved? 73 00:04:30,710 --> 00:04:34,450 A couple of pathetic bachelors with no one to talk to but each other? 74 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:38,200 You ought to do ads for this stuff. 75 00:04:39,470 --> 00:04:42,330 So,are you gonna tell me what happened with Chelsea? 76 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,570 I can show you. 77 00:04:45,580 --> 00:04:49,320 Chelsea found this on my phone. 78 00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:53,190 I ask you, is that worth breaking an engagement? 79 00:04:59,430 --> 00:05:02,070 It's worth breaking a spine. 80 00:05:02,430 --> 00:05:03,780 Were you sleeping with this girl? 81 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:06,820 No. No. She just sent me a few pictures. 82 00:05:06,830 --> 00:05:09,710 Well,then, why'd you keep 'em? 83 00:05:11,030 --> 00:05:13,290 All right,all right, all right. 84 00:05:13,310 --> 00:05:17,330 But you got to understand the-the message that this sends to Chelsea. 85 00:05:17,370 --> 00:05:21,670 Other than,you know, "Got milk?" 86 00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:27,300 But I'm not cheating. 87 00:05:27,340 --> 00:05:30,530 There are other forms of cheating. There's,uh... there's,uh,flirting. 88 00:05:30,540 --> 00:05:32,090 There's fantasizing about other women... 89 00:05:32,110 --> 00:05:34,660 Oh,come on. Fantasizing is not cheating. 90 00:05:34,670 --> 00:05:39,270 To women it is. They-they don't like the idea that you're mentally replacing them with someone else. 91 00:05:40,460 --> 00:05:44,160 What if I'm mentally supplementingthem with someone else? 92 00:05:44,190 --> 00:05:49,080 You know, like I'm making love to Chelsea, and in my mind, Rachel here is just helping out. 93 00:05:53,730 --> 00:05:57,030 She does look very helpful. 94 00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,890 Nevertheless,I-I can understand why Chelsea would take a dimmer view. 95 00:06:00,910 --> 00:06:03,070 Yeah,well,I think she overreacted. 96 00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:05,270 In fact,I think she owes me an apology. 97 00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:08,510 Really? So,you're just gonna sit here and wait till she comes crawling back, are you? 98 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,780 Yes,I am. 99 00:06:10,790 --> 00:06:16,110 And then,because hell will long since have frozen over, we can go ice-skating. 100 00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:19,760 It's good that you have a plan. 101 00:06:20,370 --> 00:06:24,690 Now if you will pardon me, I have to go pick up Jake at his mother's. 102 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:27,890 Oh,good. Just what we need to brighten up our weekend. 103 00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:32,310 A large,sullen teenager with gas and questionable hygiene. 104 00:06:32,670 --> 00:06:35,710 There's nothing questionable about it. 105 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:46,770 There we go. Over the hump. 106 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:53,580 She's my mother,Herb! I want her here when I have the baby! 107 00:06:53,590 --> 00:06:57,890 Yeah,well,I don't need yet another woman in this house yelling at me, calling me an idiot! 108 00:06:57,910 --> 00:06:59,930 My mother doesn't yell, you idiot! 109 00:06:59,970 --> 00:07:02,340 Okay,I'm gonna let that pass because you're pregnant! 110 00:07:02,370 --> 00:07:04,760 Don't you dare blame this on hormones! 111 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:08,730 What's my alternative, Judith? Accept the fact that I'm an idiot? 112 00:07:11,650 --> 00:07:13,240 Oh,hey,Alan. 113 00:07:13,260 --> 00:07:14,900 Is this a bad time? 114 00:07:14,910 --> 00:07:17,170 They're all bad. 115 00:07:17,820 --> 00:07:20,280 Seven-and-a-half months of bad. 116 00:07:20,300 --> 00:07:21,740 Don't you walk away from me. 117 00:07:21,770 --> 00:07:23,450 Well,I'm sorry. I was answering the door! 118 00:07:23,460 --> 00:07:26,460 That's what we idiots do when we hear a doorbell. 119 00:07:27,230 --> 00:07:29,620 Hi,Dad. Bye,Mom. Good luck,Herb. 120 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:33,150 Bye,Jake. Wish I was going with you. 121 00:07:39,900 --> 00:07:42,650 I knew it as soon as it came out of my mouth. 122 00:07:50,820 --> 00:07:53,110 I could get used to this. 123 00:07:53,590 --> 00:07:55,750 Don't. 124 00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:01,450 As far as Charlie is concerned, mi casa es mi casa. 125 00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:05,500 All right, I've ordered your pizza. I'm going home. 126 00:08:05,510 --> 00:08:07,690 Thanks,Berta. 127 00:08:08,170 --> 00:08:12,760 Ordering a pizza and going home- two of the three things you want in a woman. 128 00:08:13,470 --> 00:08:16,360 And you wonder why Chelsea dumped you. 129 00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:18,520 I'll tell you what I wonder. 130 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:21,710 I wonder how you could possibly get stoned enough to stick your tongue 131 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:25,080 in the mouth of a 60-year-old woman. 132 00:08:29,730 --> 00:08:31,670 Zing! 133 00:08:33,660 --> 00:08:38,000 Boy,I just love this male bonding. Giving each other the old business. 134 00:08:38,010 --> 00:08:39,530 The old business? 135 00:08:39,570 --> 00:08:44,060 Yeah,you know,the needle, the zetz,the razzmatazz. 136 00:08:44,910 --> 00:08:46,910 Herb,I got to ask you something. 137 00:08:46,940 --> 00:08:50,020 Are there any other guys you hang out with? 138 00:08:50,050 --> 00:08:52,800 Oh,sure,I have my peeps. 139 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:57,670 There's my,uh, water polo league, the guys down at the model train shop. 140 00:08:57,890 --> 00:09:00,120 Oh,and my,uh, barbershop quartet. 141 00:09:00,150 --> 00:09:02,250 Although I can't have them over to the house anymore. 142 00:09:02,260 --> 00:09:03,500 Why not? 143 00:09:03,540 --> 00:09:06,390 Four part harmony triggers Judith's migraines. 144 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:09,440 Plus,mustaches creep her out. 145 00:09:09,460 --> 00:09:12,070 Oh,not just mustaches. Any facial hair whatsoever. 146 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:13,340 Except eyebrows. 147 00:09:13,380 --> 00:09:16,410 - Neatly trimmed. - Right. The two finger rule. 148 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:21,090 Chelsea had a two finger rule. 149 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:23,730 Nothing to do with eyebrows,though. 150 00:09:24,460 --> 00:09:26,110 All right,I'll see you later. 151 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:27,010 Where are you going? 152 00:09:27,050 --> 00:09:28,490 Down to the pier with Celeste. 153 00:09:28,530 --> 00:09:30,880 - Who's Celeste? - My girlfriend. She lives next door. 154 00:09:30,890 --> 00:09:31,670 Is she pretty? 155 00:09:31,700 --> 00:09:34,640 She's gorgeous and smart and popular. 156 00:09:34,660 --> 00:09:37,550 - No kidding? - We don't get it,either. 157 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:41,820 Maybe she's punishing her father. 158 00:09:41,830 --> 00:09:44,050 Let's hope so. 159 00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:49,900 You know, I'm just the stepdad here, but,uh,shouldn't you tell him what time to be home? 160 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,960 I don't have to. I know her father. 161 00:09:53,610 --> 00:09:55,750 Hey,Jake. 162 00:09:57,700 --> 00:09:59,900 Hello,sir. 163 00:10:00,510 --> 00:10:04,290 Celeste,Jake's here! So how have you been? 164 00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:08,160 We're walking down to the pier, we're gonna play skeeball, we'll be back by 11:00. 165 00:10:09,570 --> 00:10:12,370 You're damn right you will. 166 00:10:18,350 --> 00:10:20,770 Come on. It's freezing out here. 167 00:10:20,780 --> 00:10:23,140 Shouldn't we put out the cigars? 168 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,220 Why? 169 00:10:25,570 --> 00:10:28,230 'cause we're not allowed to smoke in the house? 170 00:10:30,180 --> 00:10:34,650 It's my house. We can smoke cigars, we can smoke salmon, whatever we want. 171 00:10:35,990 --> 00:10:37,260 Are you sure? 172 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:40,110 Relax. No whiny broad is going to nag at you. 173 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:43,300 Uh,Herb,make sure you use an ashtray and a coaster. 174 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,380 I stand corrected. 175 00:10:49,230 --> 00:10:51,310 Zing! 176 00:10:51,650 --> 00:10:53,910 Hotcha! 177 00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,510 Oh,this is going to be a long night. 178 00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:02,810 Hi,Charlie. 179 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:05,370 Oh,God. What did the little knucklehead do? 180 00:11:05,380 --> 00:11:08,560 Nothing- Jake said you guys were hanging out, and I thought you might want some company. 181 00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:09,560 Sure,come on in. 182 00:11:09,580 --> 00:11:11,850 I baked snickerdoodles if you're hungry. 183 00:11:13,580 --> 00:11:17,400 - You baked snickerdoodles? - Yeah- why is that funny? 184 00:11:19,630 --> 00:11:21,560 It's not. 185 00:11:22,490 --> 00:11:24,780 You know Alan, and this is Herb. 186 00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:28,130 Make yourself comfortable. Can I get you something to drink? 187 00:11:28,140 --> 00:11:31,030 I wouldn't say no to an apple-tini. 188 00:11:31,660 --> 00:11:35,250 An apple-tini? My brother drinks apple-tinis. 189 00:11:35,620 --> 00:11:38,080 Why is that funny? 190 00:11:38,090 --> 00:11:40,140 It's not. 191 00:11:40,470 --> 00:11:43,070 One apple-tini coming up. 192 00:11:43,450 --> 00:11:46,110 He can get away with it; you can't. 193 00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:49,380 So,how do you know Charlie and Alan? 194 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:51,610 Oh,I'm married to Alan's ex-wife. 195 00:11:51,630 --> 00:11:53,950 No kidding. And you hang out? 196 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:55,690 - Yeah. - Sure. 197 00:11:57,280 --> 00:12:00,810 I couldn't be friends with the man who's putting it to my ex. 198 00:12:04,710 --> 00:12:08,410 Well,to be fair,there hasn't been a lot of putting lately. 199 00:12:11,030 --> 00:12:13,610 And after the baby's born, there will be even less. 200 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:16,440 How is that possible? 201 00:12:16,450 --> 00:12:21,660 Not only will she not let you touch her, she'll interrupt you while you're touching yourself. 202 00:12:31,310 --> 00:12:33,770 I had to start showering at the Y. 203 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:39,460 - Okay,one apple-tini. - Thank you. 204 00:12:39,870 --> 00:12:40,970 What are you guys talking about? 205 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:43,510 Masturbating at the YMCA. 206 00:12:48,620 --> 00:12:51,510 Really? Just talk,right? 207 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,180 Yeah,but the night is young. 208 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:56,780 So,Jerome... 209 00:12:56,810 --> 00:13:00,190 solve one of the great mysteries of life for us. 210 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:04,180 What does your daughter see in Jake? 211 00:13:04,190 --> 00:13:07,680 You know,I've been asking myself the same thing. 212 00:13:07,710 --> 00:13:10,500 Maybe she's punishing me. 213 00:13:11,780 --> 00:13:14,410 - No offense. - None taken. 214 00:13:15,210 --> 00:13:17,260 We're way ahead of you. 215 00:13:18,070 --> 00:13:20,880 You know,my wife and I are having a girl. Any advice? 216 00:13:20,890 --> 00:13:25,270 Yeah. Before your daughter starts dating, um,bulk up. 217 00:13:27,930 --> 00:13:29,610 Okay. 218 00:13:31,460 --> 00:13:34,040 Boy. Remember when we first started dating? 219 00:13:34,050 --> 00:13:37,040 Yep,eighth grade. Louise Miller. 220 00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:39,170 Oh,ninth grade. Maxine Chernakoff. 221 00:13:39,180 --> 00:13:42,160 Sixth grade,Mrs. Terapotta. 222 00:13:47,670 --> 00:13:50,240 Wasn't actually a date. 223 00:13:50,270 --> 00:13:52,930 Nowadays,she'd probably go to jail. 224 00:13:53,330 --> 00:13:55,190 So,uh,what about you,Herb? 225 00:13:55,220 --> 00:13:56,210 What about me,what? 226 00:13:56,250 --> 00:13:58,380 Uh,your first date. Uh,junior high,high school? 227 00:13:58,390 --> 00:14:02,470 College,freshman year. I was kind of a geek in high school. 228 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,570 Hard to believe. 229 00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:07,280 No,really. They called me Big Bird. 230 00:14:09,780 --> 00:14:11,620 So,what happened in college? 231 00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:14,910 I stopped wearing yellow shirts and lowered my standards. 232 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:18,400 Okay,okay. Here's one. 233 00:14:18,410 --> 00:14:22,550 First sexual experience that was not traditional intercourse. 234 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:24,380 What are we talking about here? 235 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,130 You know what I'm talking about. 236 00:14:26,150 --> 00:14:28,420 Boy Scouts? 237 00:14:39,390 --> 00:14:40,940 What? 238 00:14:42,250 --> 00:14:44,620 Zing! 239 00:14:46,250 --> 00:14:50,550 Alan. When did you first take your oral exams? 240 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:53,280 Oh,I... I-I don't think I should say. 241 00:14:53,290 --> 00:14:54,710 - Why not? - I just don't. 242 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:56,340 Come on,Alan,we're all friends. Who was it? 243 00:14:56,350 --> 00:14:58,620 Your wife. 244 00:14:59,890 --> 00:15:02,760 So,your first time doing that was with Judith? 245 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:06,640 Hey,me,too. 246 00:15:08,790 --> 00:15:10,960 Me,too. 247 00:15:14,590 --> 00:15:17,110 Just kidding- zing,zing! 248 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:23,920 What is "zing"? Is that some type of white guy slang? 249 00:15:23,930 --> 00:15:24,720 Quite possibly. 250 00:15:24,750 --> 00:15:29,120 My barbershop quartet does a killer version of "Zing! Went the Strings of My Heart". 251 00:15:29,130 --> 00:15:31,840 Real showstopper. 252 00:15:31,850 --> 00:15:34,500 Kind of like that story. 253 00:15:34,780 --> 00:15:36,570 Zing! 254 00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:39,990 Did I get that one right? 255 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:43,800 Oh,good. Finally. 256 00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:46,140 - Hookers? - Pizza. 257 00:15:46,610 --> 00:15:48,540 That's nice,too. 258 00:15:49,730 --> 00:15:51,740 - Hey,Mr. Harper. - Oh,hey,Gordon. 259 00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:54,330 - It's been a long time. - Yeah,two years. 260 00:15:54,340 --> 00:15:55,620 So,what you been up to? 261 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:58,330 Well,I,uh... I finished night school, got my business degree, 262 00:15:58,340 --> 00:16:01,720 met an amazing girl and got married, landed a great job as a stockbroker. 263 00:16:01,730 --> 00:16:04,840 The company went under, my wife left me,and,uh... 264 00:16:04,870 --> 00:16:07,450 that'll be $28.50 265 00:16:10,110 --> 00:16:13,670 Oh,man,I'm sorry. You want a drink? 266 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:15,850 Why stop now? 267 00:16:16,790 --> 00:16:19,330 Come on in. 268 00:16:22,390 --> 00:16:25,700 Hey,everybody. This is Gordon. His wife left him. 269 00:16:25,710 --> 00:16:28,650 - Hi,Gordon. - Welcome to the losers lounge. 270 00:16:28,660 --> 00:16:29,860 Glad to be here. 271 00:16:29,870 --> 00:16:33,160 The topic of discussion is first nontraditional sexual experience. 272 00:16:33,190 --> 00:16:35,180 Bible camp. 273 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:38,370 Where do you guys want me to put these? 274 00:16:38,410 --> 00:16:40,900 Oh,uh,here,let me move the snickerdoodles. 275 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:43,220 Snickerdoodles. 276 00:16:43,230 --> 00:16:44,190 You don't like them? 277 00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:48,750 No,no,I do. It's just that my wife used to call me her little snickerdoodle. 278 00:16:49,740 --> 00:16:52,510 - You're kidding. - Well,no,not all of me. 279 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:55,580 It was her little nickname for my,uh... 280 00:16:57,590 --> 00:17:00,850 Oh,that is a terrible name for a penis. 281 00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:03,640 Oh,yeah? What did your wife call yours? 282 00:17:03,650 --> 00:17:06,500 Mr. Roundtree. 283 00:17:13,130 --> 00:17:15,750 Richard Roundtree. 284 00:17:15,780 --> 00:17:18,120 The guy who played Shaft. 285 00:17:18,150 --> 00:17:19,910 Oh,yes. 286 00:17:19,940 --> 00:17:22,760 That's way better than Snickerdoodle. 287 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:26,560 Judith calls mine "that thing". 288 00:17:26,930 --> 00:17:29,760 As in,"Get that thing away from me"? 289 00:17:30,620 --> 00:17:32,320 Yeah,how did you know? 290 00:17:32,330 --> 00:17:34,790 Just a guess. 291 00:17:36,450 --> 00:17:38,730 Okay. I'm out of here. 292 00:17:38,740 --> 00:17:39,910 Where you going? 293 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:44,590 Someplace where I'm not knee-deep in pathetic, penis-naming sad sacks. 294 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:49,710 - No offense. - None taken. 295 00:17:50,810 --> 00:17:53,190 Let's go,King Snake. 296 00:18:06,860 --> 00:18:09,470 - What do you want? - Just listen. 297 00:18:10,620 --> 00:18:12,850 Rachel? Hey,it's Charlie. 298 00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:15,910 Look,about the pictures you sent me... 299 00:18:15,930 --> 00:18:18,930 No,no,no,they were very nice. 300 00:18:19,830 --> 00:18:22,270 Yeah,real artsy. 301 00:18:23,230 --> 00:18:26,830 But the thing is, I'm kind of engaged now. 302 00:18:27,780 --> 00:18:33,070 I amdefinitely engaged now, so you shouldn't send me any more. 303 00:18:33,770 --> 00:18:36,310 It doesn't matter who asked for them. 304 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:43,200 The point is, I am no longer interested in anyone's boobs other than my fianc?e's. 305 00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:46,540 No,I'm not going to send you a picture of hers. 306 00:18:48,270 --> 00:18:50,350 Right? 307 00:18:50,980 --> 00:18:55,030 No. Okay,take care. 308 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:56,980 Thank you,Charlie. 309 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,870 I just want you to know how much you mean to me. 310 00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:02,310 Did you delete the pictures? 311 00:19:03,530 --> 00:19:06,430 I guess there's a case to be made for that. 312 00:19:10,540 --> 00:19:12,130 What are you doing? Press delete. 313 00:19:12,140 --> 00:19:16,120 Hang on. I'm printing them in my memory. 314 00:19:17,250 --> 00:19:20,960 Delete,delete,delete. Look,I'm deleting! 315 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,990 Zing! Dear,when you smiled at me 316 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,020 Zing!I heard a melody 317 00:19:27,070 --> 00:19:30,720 Zing!It haunted me from the start 318 00:19:30,730 --> 00:19:32,750 Zing!Something inside of me 319 00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:34,560 Zing!Started a symphony 320 00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:37,990 Zing!Went the strings of my heart 321 00:19:38,330 --> 00:19:40,060 Zing!'Twas like a breath of spring 322 00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:41,930 Zing!I heard a robin sing 323 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:43,750 Zing!About a nest set apart 324 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:45,710 No wonder they're all alone. 325 00:19:45,740 --> 00:19:47,460 Zing! All nature seemed to me 326 00:19:47,470 --> 00:19:49,350 Zing!In perfect harmony 327 00:19:49,390 --> 00:19:52,990 Zing!Went the strings of my heart... 328 00:20:02,420 --> 00:20:06,900 Who is the man That will risk his neck for brother man? 329 00:20:06,910 --> 00:20:08,240 Shaft! 330 00:20:08,270 --> 00:20:11,290 Right on I heard this cat,Shaft, is one bad mother... 331 00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:13,690 - Shut your mouth. - Well,I'm talking about Shaft. 332 00:20:13,700 --> 00:20:14,980 Then,we can dig it. 333 00:20:15,010 --> 00:20:17,160 He's a complicated man... 334 00:20:17,170 --> 00:20:19,750 No. I can't do this. 335 00:20:20,180 --> 00:20:22,300 She has to take me back. 336 00:20:23,030 --> 00:20:28,320 - =http:/sfile. ydy. com=- sync:������ 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 26216

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