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1
00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:01,640
Oh,come on,Melissa.
2
00:00:01,650 --> 00:00:04,380
How long are you gonna
keep punishing me for this?
3
00:00:04,740 --> 00:00:10,560
Okay,okay, uh,once again, uh,I did not
technically have sex with your mother.
4
00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:14,010
You want to catch me up?
5
00:00:14,020 --> 00:00:16,850
- Melissa,are you gonna let me talk?
- Well,you know Alan was nailing his receptionist,right?
6
00:00:16,860 --> 00:00:17,610
Yeah.
7
00:00:17,650 --> 00:00:20,610
- Apparently,she caught him in bed with her mother.
- Are you gonna let me talk?
8
00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:21,890
What do you know?
9
00:00:21,930 --> 00:00:25,300
I've been calling him that for
years, and now he's up and done it.
10
00:00:26,070 --> 00:00:30,840
I was not responsible for my actions.
I was stoned out of my mind.
11
00:00:31,270 --> 00:00:34,240
You know,that excuse has
never once worked for me.
12
00:00:34,670 --> 00:00:37,610
Me,either. Copsorboyfriends.
13
00:00:38,010 --> 00:00:41,120
No. Hey,hey,hey, your mother put
enough pot in that bana bread
14
00:00:41,130 --> 00:00:44,570
to treat every case of glaucoma
in the San Fernando Valley.
15
00:00:44,990 --> 00:00:48,590
I have a recipe for
macaroons. Very similar.
16
00:00:49,470 --> 00:00:52,540
I was so high, I didn't
even know who she was.
17
00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:54,710
We were just colors.
18
00:00:55,420 --> 00:00:57,960
I was red,she was blue.
19
00:00:57,990 --> 00:01:00,390
We were trying to make purple.
20
00:01:00,750 --> 00:01:02,520
Honey,my phone's dead.
Can I borrow your cell?
21
00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:04,960
- Sure. It's on the coffee table.
- Thanks.
22
00:01:04,970 --> 00:01:09,700
Okay,so-so bottom line, I was drugged and
molested by your mother, andI'mthe bad guy?
23
00:01:10,610 --> 00:01:14,350
Man,how many times have I
heard you make this phone call?
24
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:20,480
Yeah,who'd have thought, of the two of us,I'd be
the one to end up in a healthy, stable relationship?
25
00:01:22,110 --> 00:01:25,980
Who is Rachel, and why is she
sending you topless photos?
26
00:01:27,250 --> 00:01:29,870
Yeah,who'd have thought?
27
00:01:30,740 --> 00:01:38,230
- =http:/sfile. ydy. com=-
proudly presents
28
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:50,140
- =http:/sfile. ydy. com=-
sync:������
29
00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:56,660
Two and a
Half Men Season06 Episode19
30
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:04,410
You want to explain to me why this woman
is sending you naked pictures of herself?
31
00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:06,650
I'd love to explain it.
32
00:02:11,750 --> 00:02:13,030
Go ahead.
33
00:02:13,060 --> 00:02:15,560
I said I'd love to.
I didn't say I could.
34
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,740
Are you sleeping with her?
35
00:02:17,770 --> 00:02:19,890
No,no,of course not.
36
00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:22,090
Then why the pictures?
37
00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:27,930
Uh,well, my-my-my-my... my best guess
would be that,like a lot of girls,
38
00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:32,140
she wanted to show off her new boob job.
39
00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:35,540
That'syour best guess?
40
00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:41,030
Well,you wouldn't understand because clearly,
God has blessed you with this great bounty.
41
00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:44,010
- Damn it,Charlie, I want to know...
- Excuse me. I am on the phone.
42
00:02:44,780 --> 00:02:46,340
Alan's on the phone.
43
00:02:46,350 --> 00:02:49,480
Don't shush me. Who is this Rachel?
44
00:02:49,490 --> 00:02:50,800
Nobody really.
45
00:02:50,830 --> 00:02:55,650
I used to go out with her way,way before
you and I met and I fell so deeply in love.
46
00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:59,220
Head-over-heels in love.
Puppy dog love. Woof!
47
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:04,130
Hang on,Melissa. I couldn't hear
anything after "You son of a bitch. "
48
00:03:04,610 --> 00:03:06,970
Does this Rachel know you're engaged?
49
00:03:07,810 --> 00:03:11,460
Think long and hard before
you start lying to me.
50
00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:14,130
I was. That's why I said,"Um... "
51
00:03:14,140 --> 00:03:16,360
- Charlie...
- She doesn't know.
52
00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:17,950
Why not?
53
00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:21,280
Boy,you're gonna keep this
flapjack on the griddle, aren't you?
54
00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:28,360
Berta,would you give us a minute?
55
00:03:28,390 --> 00:03:31,140
Oh,you're gonna need more than a minute.
56
00:03:32,940 --> 00:03:35,420
So long. I'm gonna miss you.
57
00:03:35,850 --> 00:03:38,060
What are you talking about?
She's not going anywhere.
58
00:03:38,070 --> 00:03:41,150
Are you? Where-where
you going? Chelsea?
59
00:03:41,490 --> 00:03:42,430
Chelsea,wait.
60
00:03:42,470 --> 00:03:43,780
Can't we just put this behind us?
61
00:03:43,820 --> 00:03:46,750
I
- I swear I'll never make out with your mother again.
62
00:03:48,260 --> 00:03:51,530
Let's face it,Charlie. We both knew
you were gonna blow it eventually.
63
00:03:51,540 --> 00:03:54,910
I didn't. I had my
suspicions, but I wasn't sure.
64
00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:57,640
I wish I could say the same. Good-bye.
65
00:03:58,550 --> 00:04:00,600
- Oh,please don't leave.
- Oh,please don't hang up.
66
00:04:00,610 --> 00:04:03,200
I love you!
67
00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:07,810
And I love you,too.
68
00:04:12,540 --> 00:04:13,850
Sure you don't want a drink?
69
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:17,300
No. When I'm depressed,alcohol
just makes me feel worse.
70
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:21,630
Yeah,see,the trick
is to drink past that.
71
00:04:23,150 --> 00:04:26,110
Not a sprint,it's a marathon.
72
00:04:27,210 --> 00:04:30,680
You ever think we're both doomed
to grow old alone and unloved?
73
00:04:30,710 --> 00:04:34,450
A couple of pathetic bachelors with
no one to talk to but each other?
74
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:38,200
You ought to do ads for this stuff.
75
00:04:39,470 --> 00:04:42,330
So,are you gonna tell me
what happened with Chelsea?
76
00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,570
I can show you.
77
00:04:45,580 --> 00:04:49,320
Chelsea found this on my phone.
78
00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:53,190
I ask you, is that worth
breaking an engagement?
79
00:04:59,430 --> 00:05:02,070
It's worth breaking a spine.
80
00:05:02,430 --> 00:05:03,780
Were you sleeping with this girl?
81
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:06,820
No. No. She just sent me a few pictures.
82
00:05:06,830 --> 00:05:09,710
Well,then, why'd you keep 'em?
83
00:05:11,030 --> 00:05:13,290
All right,all right, all right.
84
00:05:13,310 --> 00:05:17,330
But you got to understand the-the
message that this sends to Chelsea.
85
00:05:17,370 --> 00:05:21,670
Other than,you know, "Got milk?"
86
00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:27,300
But I'm not cheating.
87
00:05:27,340 --> 00:05:30,530
There are other forms of cheating.
There's,uh... there's,uh,flirting.
88
00:05:30,540 --> 00:05:32,090
There's fantasizing about other women...
89
00:05:32,110 --> 00:05:34,660
Oh,come on. Fantasizing is not cheating.
90
00:05:34,670 --> 00:05:39,270
To women it is. They-they don't like the idea that
you're mentally replacing them with someone else.
91
00:05:40,460 --> 00:05:44,160
What if I'm mentally
supplementingthem with someone else?
92
00:05:44,190 --> 00:05:49,080
You know, like I'm making love to Chelsea, and
in my mind, Rachel here is just helping out.
93
00:05:53,730 --> 00:05:57,030
She does look very helpful.
94
00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,890
Nevertheless,I-I can understand why
Chelsea would take a dimmer view.
95
00:06:00,910 --> 00:06:03,070
Yeah,well,I think she overreacted.
96
00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:05,270
In fact,I think she owes me an apology.
97
00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:08,510
Really? So,you're just gonna sit here and
wait till she comes crawling back, are you?
98
00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,780
Yes,I am.
99
00:06:10,790 --> 00:06:16,110
And then,because hell will long since
have frozen over, we can go ice-skating.
100
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:19,760
It's good that you have a plan.
101
00:06:20,370 --> 00:06:24,690
Now if you will pardon me, I have
to go pick up Jake at his mother's.
102
00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:27,890
Oh,good. Just what we need
to brighten up our weekend.
103
00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:32,310
A large,sullen teenager with
gas and questionable hygiene.
104
00:06:32,670 --> 00:06:35,710
There's nothing questionable about it.
105
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:46,770
There we go. Over the hump.
106
00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:53,580
She's my mother,Herb! I want
her here when I have the baby!
107
00:06:53,590 --> 00:06:57,890
Yeah,well,I don't need yet another woman in
this house yelling at me, calling me an idiot!
108
00:06:57,910 --> 00:06:59,930
My mother doesn't yell, you idiot!
109
00:06:59,970 --> 00:07:02,340
Okay,I'm gonna let that
pass because you're pregnant!
110
00:07:02,370 --> 00:07:04,760
Don't you dare blame this on hormones!
111
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:08,730
What's my alternative, Judith?
Accept the fact that I'm an idiot?
112
00:07:11,650 --> 00:07:13,240
Oh,hey,Alan.
113
00:07:13,260 --> 00:07:14,900
Is this a bad time?
114
00:07:14,910 --> 00:07:17,170
They're all bad.
115
00:07:17,820 --> 00:07:20,280
Seven-and-a-half
months of bad.
116
00:07:20,300 --> 00:07:21,740
Don't you walk away from me.
117
00:07:21,770 --> 00:07:23,450
Well,I'm sorry. I was
answering the door!
118
00:07:23,460 --> 00:07:26,460
That's what we idiots do
when we hear a doorbell.
119
00:07:27,230 --> 00:07:29,620
Hi,Dad. Bye,Mom. Good luck,Herb.
120
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:33,150
Bye,Jake. Wish I was going with you.
121
00:07:39,900 --> 00:07:42,650
I knew it as soon as
it came out of my mouth.
122
00:07:50,820 --> 00:07:53,110
I could get used to this.
123
00:07:53,590 --> 00:07:55,750
Don't.
124
00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:01,450
As far as Charlie is
concerned, mi casa es mi casa.
125
00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:05,500
All right, I've ordered
your pizza. I'm going home.
126
00:08:05,510 --> 00:08:07,690
Thanks,Berta.
127
00:08:08,170 --> 00:08:12,760
Ordering a pizza and going home- two
of the three things you want in a woman.
128
00:08:13,470 --> 00:08:16,360
And you wonder why Chelsea dumped you.
129
00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:18,520
I'll tell you what I wonder.
130
00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:21,710
I wonder how you could possibly get
stoned enough to stick your tongue
131
00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:25,080
in the mouth of a
60-year-old woman.
132
00:08:29,730 --> 00:08:31,670
Zing!
133
00:08:33,660 --> 00:08:38,000
Boy,I just love this male bonding.
Giving each other the old business.
134
00:08:38,010 --> 00:08:39,530
The old business?
135
00:08:39,570 --> 00:08:44,060
Yeah,you know,the needle,
the zetz,the razzmatazz.
136
00:08:44,910 --> 00:08:46,910
Herb,I got to ask you something.
137
00:08:46,940 --> 00:08:50,020
Are there any other
guys you hang out with?
138
00:08:50,050 --> 00:08:52,800
Oh,sure,I have my peeps.
139
00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:57,670
There's my,uh, water polo league,
the guys down at the model train shop.
140
00:08:57,890 --> 00:09:00,120
Oh,and my,uh, barbershop quartet.
141
00:09:00,150 --> 00:09:02,250
Although I can't have them
over to the house anymore.
142
00:09:02,260 --> 00:09:03,500
Why not?
143
00:09:03,540 --> 00:09:06,390
Four part harmony triggers
Judith's migraines.
144
00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:09,440
Plus,mustaches creep her out.
145
00:09:09,460 --> 00:09:12,070
Oh,not just mustaches.
Any facial hair whatsoever.
146
00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:13,340
Except eyebrows.
147
00:09:13,380 --> 00:09:16,410
- Neatly trimmed.
- Right. The two finger rule.
148
00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:21,090
Chelsea had a two finger rule.
149
00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:23,730
Nothing to do with eyebrows,though.
150
00:09:24,460 --> 00:09:26,110
All right,I'll see you later.
151
00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:27,010
Where are you going?
152
00:09:27,050 --> 00:09:28,490
Down to the pier with Celeste.
153
00:09:28,530 --> 00:09:30,880
- Who's Celeste?
- My girlfriend. She lives next door.
154
00:09:30,890 --> 00:09:31,670
Is she pretty?
155
00:09:31,700 --> 00:09:34,640
She's gorgeous and smart and popular.
156
00:09:34,660 --> 00:09:37,550
- No kidding?
- We don't get it,either.
157
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:41,820
Maybe she's punishing her father.
158
00:09:41,830 --> 00:09:44,050
Let's hope so.
159
00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:49,900
You know, I'm just the stepdad here,
but,uh,shouldn't you tell him what time to be home?
160
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,960
I don't have to. I know her father.
161
00:09:53,610 --> 00:09:55,750
Hey,Jake.
162
00:09:57,700 --> 00:09:59,900
Hello,sir.
163
00:10:00,510 --> 00:10:04,290
Celeste,Jake's here!
So how have you been?
164
00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:08,160
We're walking down to the pier, we're
gonna play skeeball, we'll be back by 11:00.
165
00:10:09,570 --> 00:10:12,370
You're damn right you will.
166
00:10:18,350 --> 00:10:20,770
Come on. It's freezing out here.
167
00:10:20,780 --> 00:10:23,140
Shouldn't we put out the cigars?
168
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,220
Why?
169
00:10:25,570 --> 00:10:28,230
'cause we're not allowed
to smoke in the house?
170
00:10:30,180 --> 00:10:34,650
It's my house. We can smoke cigars,
we can smoke salmon, whatever we want.
171
00:10:35,990 --> 00:10:37,260
Are you sure?
172
00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:40,110
Relax. No whiny broad
is going to nag at you.
173
00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:43,300
Uh,Herb,make sure you use
an ashtray and a coaster.
174
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,380
I stand corrected.
175
00:10:49,230 --> 00:10:51,310
Zing!
176
00:10:51,650 --> 00:10:53,910
Hotcha!
177
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,510
Oh,this is going to be a long night.
178
00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:02,810
Hi,Charlie.
179
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:05,370
Oh,God. What did the
little knucklehead do?
180
00:11:05,380 --> 00:11:08,560
Nothing- Jake said you guys were hanging
out, and I thought you might want some company.
181
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:09,560
Sure,come on in.
182
00:11:09,580 --> 00:11:11,850
I baked snickerdoodles if you're hungry.
183
00:11:13,580 --> 00:11:17,400
- You baked snickerdoodles?
- Yeah- why is that funny?
184
00:11:19,630 --> 00:11:21,560
It's not.
185
00:11:22,490 --> 00:11:24,780
You know Alan, and this is Herb.
186
00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:28,130
Make yourself comfortable. Can
I get you something to drink?
187
00:11:28,140 --> 00:11:31,030
I wouldn't say no to an apple-tini.
188
00:11:31,660 --> 00:11:35,250
An apple-tini? My brother
drinks apple-tinis.
189
00:11:35,620 --> 00:11:38,080
Why is that funny?
190
00:11:38,090 --> 00:11:40,140
It's not.
191
00:11:40,470 --> 00:11:43,070
One apple-tini coming up.
192
00:11:43,450 --> 00:11:46,110
He can get away with it; you can't.
193
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:49,380
So,how do you know Charlie and Alan?
194
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:51,610
Oh,I'm married to Alan's ex-wife.
195
00:11:51,630 --> 00:11:53,950
No kidding. And you hang out?
196
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:55,690
- Yeah.
- Sure.
197
00:11:57,280 --> 00:12:00,810
I couldn't be friends with the
man who's putting it to my ex.
198
00:12:04,710 --> 00:12:08,410
Well,to be fair,there hasn't
been a lot of putting lately.
199
00:12:11,030 --> 00:12:13,610
And after the baby's born,
there will be even less.
200
00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:16,440
How is that possible?
201
00:12:16,450 --> 00:12:21,660
Not only will she not let you touch her, she'll
interrupt you while you're touching yourself.
202
00:12:31,310 --> 00:12:33,770
I had to start showering at the Y.
203
00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:39,460
- Okay,one apple-tini.
- Thank you.
204
00:12:39,870 --> 00:12:40,970
What are you guys talking about?
205
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:43,510
Masturbating at the YMCA.
206
00:12:48,620 --> 00:12:51,510
Really? Just talk,right?
207
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,180
Yeah,but the night is young.
208
00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:56,780
So,Jerome...
209
00:12:56,810 --> 00:13:00,190
solve one of the great
mysteries of life for us.
210
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:04,180
What does your daughter see in Jake?
211
00:13:04,190 --> 00:13:07,680
You know,I've been asking
myself the same thing.
212
00:13:07,710 --> 00:13:10,500
Maybe she's punishing me.
213
00:13:11,780 --> 00:13:14,410
- No offense.
- None taken.
214
00:13:15,210 --> 00:13:17,260
We're way ahead of you.
215
00:13:18,070 --> 00:13:20,880
You know,my wife and I are
having a girl. Any advice?
216
00:13:20,890 --> 00:13:25,270
Yeah. Before your daughter
starts dating, um,bulk up.
217
00:13:27,930 --> 00:13:29,610
Okay.
218
00:13:31,460 --> 00:13:34,040
Boy. Remember when we
first started dating?
219
00:13:34,050 --> 00:13:37,040
Yep,eighth grade. Louise Miller.
220
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:39,170
Oh,ninth grade. Maxine Chernakoff.
221
00:13:39,180 --> 00:13:42,160
Sixth grade,Mrs. Terapotta.
222
00:13:47,670 --> 00:13:50,240
Wasn't actually a date.
223
00:13:50,270 --> 00:13:52,930
Nowadays,she'd probably go to jail.
224
00:13:53,330 --> 00:13:55,190
So,uh,what about you,Herb?
225
00:13:55,220 --> 00:13:56,210
What about me,what?
226
00:13:56,250 --> 00:13:58,380
Uh,your first date.
Uh,junior high,high school?
227
00:13:58,390 --> 00:14:02,470
College,freshman year. I was
kind of a geek in high school.
228
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,570
Hard to believe.
229
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:07,280
No,really. They called me Big Bird.
230
00:14:09,780 --> 00:14:11,620
So,what happened in college?
231
00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:14,910
I stopped wearing yellow
shirts and lowered my standards.
232
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:18,400
Okay,okay. Here's one.
233
00:14:18,410 --> 00:14:22,550
First sexual experience that
was not traditional intercourse.
234
00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:24,380
What are we talking about here?
235
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,130
You know what I'm talking about.
236
00:14:26,150 --> 00:14:28,420
Boy Scouts?
237
00:14:39,390 --> 00:14:40,940
What?
238
00:14:42,250 --> 00:14:44,620
Zing!
239
00:14:46,250 --> 00:14:50,550
Alan. When did you first
take your oral exams?
240
00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:53,280
Oh,I... I-I don't think I should say.
241
00:14:53,290 --> 00:14:54,710
- Why not?
- I just don't.
242
00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:56,340
Come on,Alan,we're all
friends. Who was it?
243
00:14:56,350 --> 00:14:58,620
Your wife.
244
00:14:59,890 --> 00:15:02,760
So,your first time doing
that was with Judith?
245
00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:06,640
Hey,me,too.
246
00:15:08,790 --> 00:15:10,960
Me,too.
247
00:15:14,590 --> 00:15:17,110
Just kidding-
zing,zing!
248
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:23,920
What is "zing"? Is that
some type of white guy slang?
249
00:15:23,930 --> 00:15:24,720
Quite possibly.
250
00:15:24,750 --> 00:15:29,120
My barbershop quartet does a killer version
of "Zing! Went the Strings of My Heart".
251
00:15:29,130 --> 00:15:31,840
Real showstopper.
252
00:15:31,850 --> 00:15:34,500
Kind of like that story.
253
00:15:34,780 --> 00:15:36,570
Zing!
254
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:39,990
Did I get that one right?
255
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:43,800
Oh,good. Finally.
256
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:46,140
- Hookers?
- Pizza.
257
00:15:46,610 --> 00:15:48,540
That's nice,too.
258
00:15:49,730 --> 00:15:51,740
- Hey,Mr. Harper.
- Oh,hey,Gordon.
259
00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:54,330
- It's been a long time.
- Yeah,two years.
260
00:15:54,340 --> 00:15:55,620
So,what you been up to?
261
00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:58,330
Well,I,uh... I finished night
school, got my business degree,
262
00:15:58,340 --> 00:16:01,720
met an amazing girl and got married,
landed a great job as a stockbroker.
263
00:16:01,730 --> 00:16:04,840
The company went under,
my wife left me,and,uh...
264
00:16:04,870 --> 00:16:07,450
that'll be $28.50
265
00:16:10,110 --> 00:16:13,670
Oh,man,I'm sorry. You want a drink?
266
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:15,850
Why stop now?
267
00:16:16,790 --> 00:16:19,330
Come on in.
268
00:16:22,390 --> 00:16:25,700
Hey,everybody. This is
Gordon. His wife left him.
269
00:16:25,710 --> 00:16:28,650
- Hi,Gordon.
- Welcome to the losers lounge.
270
00:16:28,660 --> 00:16:29,860
Glad to be here.
271
00:16:29,870 --> 00:16:33,160
The topic of discussion is first
nontraditional sexual experience.
272
00:16:33,190 --> 00:16:35,180
Bible camp.
273
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:38,370
Where do you guys want me to put these?
274
00:16:38,410 --> 00:16:40,900
Oh,uh,here,let me move
the snickerdoodles.
275
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:43,220
Snickerdoodles.
276
00:16:43,230 --> 00:16:44,190
You don't like them?
277
00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:48,750
No,no,I do. It's just that my wife used
to call me her little snickerdoodle.
278
00:16:49,740 --> 00:16:52,510
- You're kidding.
- Well,no,not all of me.
279
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:55,580
It was her little nickname for my,uh...
280
00:16:57,590 --> 00:17:00,850
Oh,that is a terrible name for a penis.
281
00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:03,640
Oh,yeah? What did your wife call yours?
282
00:17:03,650 --> 00:17:06,500
Mr. Roundtree.
283
00:17:13,130 --> 00:17:15,750
Richard Roundtree.
284
00:17:15,780 --> 00:17:18,120
The guy who played Shaft.
285
00:17:18,150 --> 00:17:19,910
Oh,yes.
286
00:17:19,940 --> 00:17:22,760
That's way better than Snickerdoodle.
287
00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:26,560
Judith calls mine "that thing".
288
00:17:26,930 --> 00:17:29,760
As in,"Get that thing away from me"?
289
00:17:30,620 --> 00:17:32,320
Yeah,how did you know?
290
00:17:32,330 --> 00:17:34,790
Just a guess.
291
00:17:36,450 --> 00:17:38,730
Okay. I'm out of here.
292
00:17:38,740 --> 00:17:39,910
Where you going?
293
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:44,590
Someplace where I'm not knee-deep
in pathetic, penis-naming sad sacks.
294
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:49,710
- No offense.
- None taken.
295
00:17:50,810 --> 00:17:53,190
Let's go,King Snake.
296
00:18:06,860 --> 00:18:09,470
- What do you want?
- Just listen.
297
00:18:10,620 --> 00:18:12,850
Rachel? Hey,it's Charlie.
298
00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:15,910
Look,about the pictures you sent me...
299
00:18:15,930 --> 00:18:18,930
No,no,no,they were very nice.
300
00:18:19,830 --> 00:18:22,270
Yeah,real artsy.
301
00:18:23,230 --> 00:18:26,830
But the thing is, I'm
kind of engaged now.
302
00:18:27,780 --> 00:18:33,070
I amdefinitely engaged now, so
you shouldn't send me any more.
303
00:18:33,770 --> 00:18:36,310
It doesn't matter who asked for them.
304
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:43,200
The point is, I am no longer interested
in anyone's boobs other than my fianc?e's.
305
00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:46,540
No,I'm not going to send
you a picture of hers.
306
00:18:48,270 --> 00:18:50,350
Right?
307
00:18:50,980 --> 00:18:55,030
No. Okay,take care.
308
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:56,980
Thank you,Charlie.
309
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,870
I just want you to know
how much you mean to me.
310
00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:02,310
Did you delete the pictures?
311
00:19:03,530 --> 00:19:06,430
I guess there's a case
to be made for that.
312
00:19:10,540 --> 00:19:12,130
What are you doing? Press delete.
313
00:19:12,140 --> 00:19:16,120
Hang on. I'm printing them in my memory.
314
00:19:17,250 --> 00:19:20,960
Delete,delete,delete. Look,I'm deleting!
315
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,990
Zing! Dear,when you smiled at me
316
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,020
Zing!I heard a melody
317
00:19:27,070 --> 00:19:30,720
Zing!It haunted me from the start
318
00:19:30,730 --> 00:19:32,750
Zing!Something inside of me
319
00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:34,560
Zing!Started a symphony
320
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:37,990
Zing!Went the strings of my heart
321
00:19:38,330 --> 00:19:40,060
Zing!'Twas like a breath of spring
322
00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:41,930
Zing!I heard a robin sing
323
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:43,750
Zing!About a nest set apart
324
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:45,710
No wonder they're all alone.
325
00:19:45,740 --> 00:19:47,460
Zing! All nature seemed to me
326
00:19:47,470 --> 00:19:49,350
Zing!In perfect harmony
327
00:19:49,390 --> 00:19:52,990
Zing!Went the strings of my heart...
328
00:20:02,420 --> 00:20:06,900
Who is the man That will
risk his neck for brother man?
329
00:20:06,910 --> 00:20:08,240
Shaft!
330
00:20:08,270 --> 00:20:11,290
Right on I heard this
cat,Shaft, is one bad mother...
331
00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:13,690
- Shut your mouth.
- Well,I'm talking about Shaft.
332
00:20:13,700 --> 00:20:14,980
Then,we can dig it.
333
00:20:15,010 --> 00:20:17,160
He's a complicated man...
334
00:20:17,170 --> 00:20:19,750
No. I can't do this.
335
00:20:20,180 --> 00:20:22,300
She has to take me back.
336
00:20:23,030 --> 00:20:28,320
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