Original subtitles

RADIO SWEETHEARTS

Hey Butt-Head, aren't we supposed to like, do something?

I think we're supposed to like, turn something up or something.

Loud, loud!

Hey, answer today's trivia teaser and win a chance

to guest DJ on Rabid Ron in the Morning.

Okay everybody, here it goes. What history making English pop group

was known as the "The Fab Four"?

That question sucks!

Yeah. Math is my worst subject.

Hey Beavis, call anyways.

Yeah, cool.

Hey, guess nobody knows the answer, so...

the guest DJ slot goes to the next caller.

Hey Butt-Head, it's ringing, it's ringing.

Cool.

And here he is. Hey there, Mr. Guest DJ, what have you got to say for yourself?

Check out my butt!

It�s only two dollars to see Sonic Youth?

That's a good deal.

Hey, how's it goin'? What high school you go to?

I go to the same high school you go to, what are you talking about, Butt-Head?

I was talking to the chick, Beavis.

- Dumbass. - Well, you should have said:

"Hey baby" then. See? Like this: "Hey baby, how's it going?"

Beavis!

Yeah, yeah, go for it, dude! She wants you!

Yeah, yeah, go for it! Go for it!

She wants you, c'mon! Slam into her! Slame into her! C'mon!

- Go for it! C'mon, grab her! - Yeah, yeah. Go for it!

- Grab her! - Yeah.

C'mon. Go for it.

Yeah.

See? Now that dude knows how to do it.

And tell the story of the jelly rollin...

Tell the story of the choad?

This is the story of a lonely little choad. He never scored. And that's the end.

I think that's like...

your story, Beavis.

It's your story too, butthole.

You sit too close to me, Beavis.

Could you like, move a little further down the couch?

No way, Butt-Head.

You move, I'm all comfortable.

If this was a real concert,

some roadie'd be up there in about two seconds, kicking their asses off the stage.

Yeah, he'd just like,

throw 'em out into the crowd.

That dude would probably, like, break a bunch of bones and stuff,

but you know, at least he got some.

Now, dudes, a lot of guys get nervous when they go on the air,

but let me give you a tip. Pretend you're talking to one person.

- Can it be, like, a chick? - Sure!

Hey baby. Wanna like, get me on?

- Me too. - Hey headbangers,

this is Rabid Ron, bringing you

the tri-county area's hardest and hottest metal.

Helping out today are our guest DJ winners Beavis and Butt-Head.

How you doing, dudes?

No.

How about you, Beavis?

Check out my butt!

Let's give Beavis and Butt-Head time to calm down a little.

And play something from the new group, Viking Funeral. What do you say, Butt-Head?

They suck!

Hey guys, I used to do subversive radio myself in the '70s, okay?

But for this gig, we need a little more positivity, all right?

Hey Butt-Head, what's he saying?

I think he said we can't say "stuff sucks" anymore.

Yeah we can, stuff sucks! It sucks! it sucks!

- That was cool. - Hey, fellas, if you play ball,

there's a five dollars gift certificate in it for you from the Sound Silo.

Courtesy Rabid Ron in the Morning.

Hey, that was the latest from Viking Funeral.

They don't suck, Rabid Ron.

Yeah, they used to... They don't, you said we can't say that anymore.

So, how's it feel to be on the radio, boys? Pretty cool, huh?

- It doesn't suck. - Hey Rabid Ron, like, how old are you?

You look like, really old, like, more old than you sound or something.

Yeah.

You look like an old fart.

By the way, boys, I got some last night, how 'bout you, huh?

I didn't think so.

You look like, really old.

Hey, if you guys keep screwing around, I'm gonna be one pissed-off radio personality.

So try to take this a little more seriously, okay?

Hey! We're back with our guest DJs Beavis and Butt-Head.

So dudes, how 'bout some music that kicks ass?

Cool.

- You said "ass". - "Kick ass".

You wouldn't expect anything less from

the tri-county region's ass-kickingest radio station.

Ass.

- Yeah. - But before we get to the ass-kicking,

Butt-Head, why don't you tell the folks about our next head-banging contest.

TENTH CALLER GETS A FREE PAIR OF BON JOVI TICKETS

- "The... teeth... cooler..." - Tenth caller...

"...gets a free tattoo on his butt".

A great joke, Butt-Head. Of course, he means tickets

to tonight's Bon Jovi concert.

I'm afraid that's all the time we have for Beavis and Butt-Head.

But keep listening, because somebody always wins.

You guys get the hell out of here and never come back!

- You're old! - Yeah, and you suck, suck, suck, suck...

Out!

Hey, what about our five dollars birth certificates, bunghole?

Out!

No, I'm sorry, sir, we're not offering the butt tattoo promotion.

No, I'm sorry, sir, we're not offering the butt tattoo promotion.

- Radio's not that cool. - Yeah.

For a guy who's supposed to, like, have rabies, Rabid Ron's a wuss.

I'm glad you enjoy them, sir, but no,

I'm afraid they are not real radio personalities.

This is a ripoff.

It's like, when I see a Soundgarden video,

I wanna see Soundgarden, not just, like, pictures of Soundgarden.

A the video is just a bunch of pictures, Beavis.

What do you mean, Butt-Head?

Everything on TV is just, like, a bunch of pictures of something.

No, it's not. It's like, sometimes they move.

Yeah, but it's still, like, moving pictures.

No, it's not, they're moving around!

I mean, they're not moving around, but like, in other videos they're like, moving around.

Beavis...

you're gonna see a moving picture of my foot kicking your ass in about two seconds.

Now just shut up and sit still.

Ok, sorry.

All my friends are brown and red.

All his friends are brown and red? What's that supposed to mean?

It means they're, like, turds. He's telling his friends, like, that they suck.

No sir, I don't have any spare change.

Get those damn spoons out of my face.

Get those spoons out of my face before I shove 'em up your butt!

Get outta here!

Spoon-man.

FRIES

Hey Butt-Head, time to play the radio.

Oh yeah.

Coming up on the tri-county area's...

uh... like, number one radio station...

Ten in a row with songs that don't suck... and stuff.

Cool.

Cool.

This used to be a cool station until they put these dorks on.

They suck! They suck! Suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck!

Hey, who is this?

This is Greta. This time, he's gone too far.

Whoa, look at that wiener!

Yeah.

Greta's got quite a unit on him.

He probably has to wear a dress 'cause, like,

he can't fit his unit inside a normal pair of pants.

It's like, he tries to put his pants on, and it just goes:

Yeah.

You know one cool thing about having, like, a big wiener...

It's like, it's like, it protects your nads, you know?

It's like, it acts as a shield.

I guess. But getting kicked in the wiener is no picnic either, Beavis.

Yeah but it doesn't hurt as bad, Butt-Head, trust me.

Here, I'll demonstrate.

Beavis...

I'm gonna kick your ass!

I forgot. You have a small wiener.

You don't have any nad protection.

- That was cool! - Beavis...

as soon as my nads feel better...

I'm gonna beat the living crap out of you.

Buttknocker.

Butt-Head...

I'm gonna kick you in the nads again. Don't call me that.

You wussy.

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