Original subtitles

JUMP!

Hey Beavis.

You want to, like, do something?

Cool.

- Let's go bowling. - We can't, we don't have any money.

Let's get nachos. Yeah yeah, nachos.

- Beavis... - Let's get dirty magazines.

Beavis, you butt-monkey!

We can't get any of that stuff without money.

Let's get some of that, then.

Money is cool.

Wait a minute.

I have seen the way.

That way.

Teenage metal chicks are cool.

I like 'em.

Jump! Jump!

Jump!

Check it out, Beavis. Jabba the Hutt.

That was cool.

Ozzy rules.

This was his concert in Vegas.

Ozzy kicks ass in Vegas.

She's gonna turn into a monster.

That's cool.

Whoa! That was cool!

Yeah. That's cool!

Excuse me. We'd like some money.

Yeah, money.

A withdraw! Ok, how much?

A million dollars.

Me too.

Do you have an account with this bank?

You know, you need an account in order to withdraw money.

We'd like one of those too.

Tell me, how much do you know about banking?

Well, there's like, a safe where you can get stuck in it and die.

That's cool.

I don't know what they're teaching in our schools.

Sometimes a guy, like, blows up the safe.

But the institutional banking

is the foundation on which our whole economy stands!

Could you, like, shut up and give us the money?

Yeah, money.

Yeah, nachos.

Nachos.

Mr. Gluckman?

- Yes, I'm bank officer Gluckman. - We have a warrant for your arrest.

The charge is embezzlement.

Well, there's some mistake.

I've been an officer of the bank for fifteen years.

My record is impeccable. Ask anyone.

Hey, where are you going?

- Stop right now! - We got him boys.

That leads right to the roof.

The only way out is a 5-story jump to certain death.

Banking is cool.

I'll never go to jail!

Come any closer and I'll jump! I mean it!

I actually hope he jumps.

God, I'm so ashamed.

What kind of person am I, watching this?

This is gonna be cool!

Hey, down in front!

- Anything? - Nope, no family, no friends.

We need someone up there who knows this guy.

Excuse me.

- We know him. - Yeah, he like, talked to us and stuff.

Okay, you're on.

This is gonna be cool.

I think there's something wrong with this guy.

What's up with his mouth?

I don't know.

He probably doesn't know the words.

What a dumbass.

This is cool!

They should do this in every single video.

Yeah, yeah, go for it!

Yes! Go for the hair! The hair!

Yeah, yeah, the hair! The hair!

Cool!

This guy belongs in GWAR!

Look at him, look at his eyes!

Look! Look!

This is the coolest of all videos.

Of course, like, you know, if there was like some

big boobs and stuff that would be cool too.

They could tear 'em off!

No, Beavis. You wanna keep the boobs.

Oh yeah. Sorry.

All day long money, money, slips through my fingers.

10s, 20s, 50s! And they all belong to somebody else!

When will they make a bill with a Gluckman on it?

- It's so unfair! - Gluckman, we have some friends of yours here.

Just get him off the ledge, we'll do the rest.

Don't come any closer!

I'll jump!

I mean it! I'm not a criminal!

I just took a little money!

A loan to tie me over! I was gonna pay it back!

You do believe me...

Could you, like, jump out that way a little?

It's so unfair!

Why don't they go after the real criminals?

Life sucks.

And then you die.

I'm too delicate for prison.

I have to jump, and don't try to talk me out of it!

Okay.

We understand.

You do, don't you?

Maybe there are others with your kind of compassion.

Maybe they'll understand.

Maybe they won't be so hard on me!

Yes!

I want to live!

I surrender!

I want to live!

What a wuss!

Guess we don't get our million dollars now.

Bank sucks!

This dude looks like that assistant football coach.

"What are you doing?!? Drop and give me twenty, boy!"

"Now!"

"What kind of a man are youuu?"

"You look like a bunch of girls out there!"

"Why don't you just go over there and shake hands and give up right now?!"

How many fat dudes are there in this band?

Well, there are at least... two.

They need to get a big, fat drummer.

Yeah, really.

And like, just a couple big, fat dudes dancing around would be cool too.

He's having trouble defecating.

Not anymore.

He just took a dump.

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