Original subtitles

TROUBLE URINATING

Hey Butt-Head, what you want to do now?

I don't know.

- Take a whiz? - Yeah, yeah.

Cool. Drain my lizard.

- Take a wazzer. - Tap a kidney.

Urinate.

I forgot how to do it.

Don't be a buttwipe, Beavis.

You just... just...

Now I forgot.

Change it, Butt-Head! Change it! Come on! Come on!

- Come on Butt-Head, change it, change it! - Come on Beavis, just check it out.

Change it!

I think this is one of those, like, coffee commercials.

"THE BEST PART OF WAKING UP!"

"Remember that caf� in Paris?"

Yeah.

"JEAN PIERE!"

- This sucks! - Yeah, really.

- Whoa! Snakes are cool. - Yeah.

- I've got a good feeling about this video. - Yeah, yeah, me too.

This guy rules!

This guys rocks! He rocks!

"I got a wiggle stick, mama!"

I got a wiggle stick.

Well, don't wiggle it here.

This guy has, like, a really cool jacket.

And like, there's snakes, and it rocks,

and it's like, it's like, just cool.

This is cool.

Get him! Get him in the butt!

Get him! Get him! Get him in the butt!

Settle down, Beavis.

- Did I mention that this is cool? - I don't think so.

Okay. The test covers the first three chapters,

plus you'll be responsable for the sections on ratios and decimals.

Any questions?

Yeah...

Can you tell us how to urinate?

You forgot?

How do you forget something like that?

You just...

First, you...

Hey Butt-Head, he forgot too.

It doesn't hurt 'til the second day, dude.

Get me Buzzcut!

Okay, boys! I'm gonna make this easy!

On the count of one, unzip your pants.

And one! Unzip your pants!

On the count of two, take out your penises.

Two is my favorite.

And two!

On the count of three, start leaking!

Three! Let's go! Leak! Leak! Leak! Leak! Leak!

Okay, you wussies, you gonna stand right there until you get it right!

And don't come out until you're done!

Hey Beavis, we're like, in school holding our wieners.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay, it's been two weeks since you urinated.

And you just forgot how?

I don't think there's a blockage.

Hey Beavis, she's thinking about our wieners!

Yeah!

I want to try something.

Now, just relax and clear your mind of any thoughts.

What do that mean?

Close your eyes and imagine you're floating on a river.

Let the water take you wherever it wants to.

Just relax and go with the flow.

Hey Butt-Head, I can feel it!

Me too!

And the water is warm!

Okay, not here. Stop, stop, stop it! Sto, stop urinating!

- Stop urinating! - I forgot how to stop.

Just relax, go with the flow.

Sto-stop it! Stop it!

Is this "Predator"?

I think this is "Mortal Kombat".

They're gonna pull that guy's spine out!

Maybe these are, like, those Desert Storm goggles.

Yeah. That was cool.

"The mother of all wars has begun!"

Incoming scud!

You're pretty cool sometimes, Beavis.

Yeah. Thanks.

Hey Butt-Head, remember when we saw that thing on TV

about that dude in this band who, like, married that chick?

Oh yeah!

He married his son's daughter, and then it's, like, his son married his mom.

Oh yeah, yeah.

And so likem

so like, the... like like like, his son was like,

uh, a dork.

So like, his own son was, like, his stepdad.

And then like, his mom was actually,

- um, uh, a slut. - Yeah!

She's a slut!

And then, like, it turned out that that dude was only sixteen.

One...

Two...

Three.

Urinating is cool.

Hey Butt-Head, do dogs urinate?

Beavis, you dillweed! Of course they urinate.

Why do you think they lift their legs?

Rock!

- The beginning part rules! - Yeah.

They should just, like, play the first part for the whole song. Just:

Yeah, yeah! It rules, it rules!

Where the hell is this?

Why are they playing way the hell out in the middle of no where?

I think that this is like...

- "Bosnia Herzebobinia". - Really?

They need, like, a big mall.

Then it would be cool!

- What are those guys on the horses? - They're like the desert cops.

And they're kicking Slayer out of the desert.

Yeah, they were playing too loud.

- Not loud enough, dude. - Yeah, yeah, loud, loud, loud, LOUD!

LOOOOUD!!!!

Hey Beavis check it out, it's those things.

- Those big triangulids. - What?

- I dunno. - Remember like, in that movie,

that Moses dude built them?

Oh yeah. He built them like, like, a long time ago,

- like, like, like ancient. - Yeah.

- It was like, in the 50's. - Yeah, yeah.

And then he like, went and wrote the Ten Condiments.

Oh yeah. "Thou shalt not suck".

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