Original subtitles

YOUNG, GIFTED, & CRUDE

Shut up, or I will kill you! Do you understand?

Shut up or I will physically kill you!

It's test time, mutants.

By order of the National Skills Utilisation Attitude Testing Facility.

This sucks!

Let's copy each other.

"Scott, Mary, Hafez and Wai Lin are deciding how to share two offices

at the American Civil Liberties Union.

Hafez is a non-smoker

and Mary needs a window because she is allergic to recycled office air.

Scott can't be near Wai Lin, who eats meat...

We're done.

Of course you are boys, of course you are.

This is cool. This is cool. Cool.

Cool.

Hey Butt-Head! Butt-Head, Butt-Head!

- What, what? - Come here, quick!

This is cool.

Butt-Head, come here, quick!

- What? - Cool.

Check this out Butt-Head, this is cool.

- Is there a naked chick? - No, but check it out, this is cool.

- It is? - Yeah, yeah. Oh wait, check it out.

Beavis...

what are you talkin' about?

Well, check it out, see, see?

This guy has, like, one of those dog things on his neck. That's cool.

Then check this out, check this out...

this guy's about to stab this guy, see, he got a spear. He's chasin' him...

Yeah yeah, Get him! Get him! Get him! Yes! YES!

Damn it, Beavis!

This is so cool!

You got me out of the bathroom to see a dog collar?

It's pretty cool, huh?

What's wrong with you, Beavis?

I don't know.

Cool! This rules! It rules!

Hey Butt-Head, now check this out, see, check it out, this guy's chasin' him...

Stab him! Stab him!

Damn it, Beavis!

You're not supposed to get me out of the bathroom

unless it's like, a naked chick or something.

But even like, if this video really does suck, I bet you forgot to wipe.

Shut up, Beavis.

Beavis and Butt-Head's test scores

are in the nation's top percentile!

They're going to the gifted class!

We're gifted.

Welcome, I'm Tanya. It's exciting to have you.

You're here because you're special. We don't believe in structure here.

The only rules are respect the feelings of others

and remember, we are all creative beings.

Any questions?

Can I go whiz?

I got to drain my lizard.

Your language is so raw and vital.

Perhaps you'd like to join up the poetry group?

Beautiful, delicate flower, fluffy petals of loviness.

How tragic is your sacrifice on the altar of man's greed.

Wasn't that beautiful?

No.

These young people are writing a story

based on their game "Swords & Sorcery".

Tell Beavis and Butt-Head about your character, Helena.

I'm an elven cleric named Glendle,

I have two runed stones and a druid ring I found in an Orc stronghold,

I have twelve hit points and a charmed long staff and a cloak of invisibility...

Hey Beavis...

I got a "charmed long staff".

Martin, tell them about your project.

I doubt they'd understand, Tanya.

But if they must know, I've created a program based on an "Dr. Who" episode.

By stimulating the cortex in the posturial perisylvian sector of my brain

I will increase my intelligence by 20%.

Fascinating.

The capital of France is Jupiter. 1 plus 1 is 37.

Carry on, my wayward soooon!

Now he's gifted.

That was cool.

So, now you seein' what these gifted young people are doing.

What special project would you like to do?

Make lots of money.

Wonderful! Run a business!

What did you have in mind?

Give me ten bucks and I'll tell you.

- Scummy people. - Yeah. Scummy people are cool.

Slimy people.

Slimy people rule!

Did you hear that, Beavis?

- What, what, what? - He said "devil's johnson!".

No way Butt-Head,

- they don't let 'em say that stuff on TV. - Well, he just said it.

No way, Butt-Head, he must've said "Don Johnson".

She's smoking on the devil's johnson...

He said it again!

I heard it. He keeps saying it again.

He said it again! He keeps saying it again! And again!

Maybe he's saying "Magic Johnson".

I got a magic johnson.

Beavis' magic johnson...

- it disappears into his hand! - Shut up, Butt-Head!

We were so lonely, my dears, without you!

Please don't run from us again!

We're going to suspend humiliating these cruds

to welcome a new student.

Idiots, meet Martin.

He's just come down from the gifted class.

How does that make all of you feel?

What's all that crap on the newspaper?

I think that's like, words and stuff.

Check it out, Beavis, it's one of those Lavatory Retrievers.

Hey Butt-Head. How come, like, when you go to the dentist

sometimes they call the bathroom the laboratory?

I don't know.

Maybe it's 'cause, like, that's where the dentist goes when he inspects your nads.

Your dentist inspects your nads?

Yeah, yeah. Doesn't yours?

No. That's what the doctor does, Beavis.

My dentist always looks at my nads.

I have full coverage.

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