Original subtitles

PLATE FRISBEE

Imagine for a moment your own finger luxuriating

beneath the weight of 99 carats of the purest cubic zirconia.

Yeah.

I want to order one of those pubic zircroniums.

Guys, I invited you over to watch the Olympics. I'm changing it back.

No way, dude. You can watch the Olympics any time.

Don't mind me, boys, I just brought you some nice warm cookies to eat

while you're watching television.

Cool.

Now, l know l can trust Stewart's friends,

but just be extra careful with that China plate.

It's 17th century antique.

Um, mom!

Guys, don't! I'll let you watch home shopping.

Come on! Please?

Whoa! This is that chick with those big hooter!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Working 9 to 5

- it's my way to a make living! - Shut up, Beavis!

I know I've got some stiff competition...

"Stiff competition?"

She's talking about us.

Hey Beavis, this just goes to show you that some things never go out of style.

- You mean, like, country music? - No, dumbass, I mean big hooters!

Oh yeah.

This one's called Martin Scorsese.

- "Martin Scores Easy?" - It's hard for me to score.

Hey, this is that dude who lost his penis!

Yeah. He did that song about how he had a "touchable penis"!

He makes the best films,

If I ever meet him I'm gonna grab his neck and just shake him.

Yeah! Shake him!

This guy is pretty cool.

Then I'd twist his nose all the way around

- and the rip off one of his ears. - Like a baseball! Yeah.

- Like a like a like... a frisbee. - Yeah, yeah! Like a frisbee!

And grab his head and suck out one of his eyes...

Chew it! Spit it!

- And say thank you, thank you... - This guy needs to settle down...

I mean, really.

This must be what happens when you lose your penis.

I always try to keep my johnson in my pants so I won't lose it!

- You're pretty stupid, Beavis! - Yeah, yeah.

Catch it, dude.

- Hey, that thing flies pretty good. - Yeah.

Better than Anderson's garbage can lids.

Check it out, behind the back.

Careful, you guys! That plate's, like, kind of valuable.

Gall darn it, who keeps messing with my garbage can lids?

These things ain't frisbees, you know?

What the hell was that? Damn it!

Must have been one of them low-flying buzzard hawks or something.

- What's that? A dog? - Yeah.

You called it, dude.

Yeah. l bet he could fetch stuff for us.

Like bones and, like, money and stuff....

Hey, maybe he's, like, one of those Frisbee dogs.

- That catches frisbees. - Cool!

Get it, boy!

Whoa!

That dog is cool!

Nice doggy. Nice doggy. Cool doggy.

That's a pretty cool plate.

Whoa!

I wish I had a shirt like that.

Yeah. That would be cool if we, like, had other shirts and stuff.

Yeah.

It's like, you could wear one shirt on one day and then, like, the next day...

you wear, like, a different shirt.

- That would rule! - Yeah, yeah.

Whoa! That's cool.

It's like, this video was pretty cool, and then they show a naked chick in a tub!

Yeah. Maybe she'll get up and dry herself off.

Yeah. That would be cool.

She doesn't want to get out of the tub 'cause she has morning wood.

Beavis!

I hope you were joking.

Yeah. That was pretty funny.

These guys, like, rule and stuff.

Yeah, yeah. It's like, it's like, it rules and stuff.

Don't bogart the plate, Butt-Head.

Ok.

What the...?

UFO!

Looks like I'm going to crash.

Yep.

Whoa! I can't believe the plate didn't break!

You guys are really lucky.

Hey, isn't there, like, a word for it when something happens...

You know, like, when you don't expect it?

You mean "ironic"?

No way, peckerbutt, it's like an English word.

- "Cool"? - Yeah! That's it! It was cool!

Yeah.

Hey Butt-Head, check out the chick!

Yeah.

Shut up, Butt-Head. This is cool.

No way, assmunch.

Whoa! Look at her butt!

Yes! Yes! Take it out!

Go for it!

Please!

What I wouldn't do to her!

Yeah. You wouldn't do anything.

Yeah, I would.

Check this out.

- You touched him... wussy. - Shut up, dillhole.

Is this, like, one of those commercials for Alvin Klein?

Yeah. A new fragrance from Alvin Klein ... "Butt".

Yeah. Butt, for men.

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