Original subtitles

BALL BREAKERS

Rod has a two stroke lead.

A what?

All he has to do is put it in the hole

to become the master champ.

He said "master".

Let's hex him!

- Miss! - Yeah! Miss! Miss!

- Miss! Miss! - Miss! Miss!

I don't believe it!

Check it out, it's that fat dude who's always

on the cover with those cool newspapers.

Molly says: "Burt really doesn't have a wiener".

- Those newspapers are cool. - Yeah.

Hey Beavis...

I heard that, like, Robert Plant isn't really dead.

No way, Butt-Head, this guy like, like got old, fat,

and like, died on the toilet.

That's pretty cool.

- That's the way I wanna go. - Yeah.

That's like, that's like how I always go.

Except, you know, when I'm outside and stuff.

What are you talking about, Beavis?

I forgot.

This is cool.

Yeah. The sideburns. are cool too.

- That jumpsuit is pretty cool. - Yeah.

I'ma grow some sideburns like that.

You couldn't grow sideburns like that!

- You are to much of a wuss! - Shut up Butt-Head!

I can kick your ass!

Hurry up, Butt-Head, I wanna turn.

Bowling is cool.

Okay, your turn.

But close your eyes, it's better.

Yessir, me and my lucky ball here

gonna walk away with the crown this year.

In fact, I feel so good, I'm gonna grab myself a tall cold one.

Dude, I thought you gonna add another hole to that ball.

Did you break it?

I don't think so.

I meant the bowling ball!

That would be cool. I heard they got plutonium in the thinner.

Are you stupid, Beavis? That's golf balls.

Hey, I heard psychos make bowling balls.

And they hide their victims body parts in 'em

Pretty heavy bag for only having one ball.

Who in the hell grab my ball?

Heads are gonna roll if I don't get my lucky ball back right now!

One...

Two... Three...

This bowling ball isn't human, it doesn't feel pain!

It can't be reasoned with!

Hey, Butt-Head... I got these killer M-8s from Mexico.

Cool.

Dude you should start wearing a cup.

Get up, you wuss.

Let's stuff the ball with firecrackers and drop it from the roof.

We're there, dude.

I hope there is a human head inside.

Or maybe a human butt.

And what about all those people on the sidewalk?

Don't worry, dude. They'll move.

- It didn't even blow! - That sucks! Lets check it out.

Hey Butt-Head, the fuse is still lit.

- That was cool. - See?

I told you it has plutonium.

Hey, Beavis, check out the cool shrapnel.

Skateboards are cool.

Like, I was skateboarding down a hill once...

and I like, hit this rock, and it stopped my skateboard, only I kept going,

and I landed on my stomach, and I kept, like, sliding, like, for a hundred feet,

- and I scraped up my entire body... - What are you talking about, Beavis?

- You've never skateboarded in your life. - Oh yeah.

Sorry about that.

But, but like, anyways, so like, when I stood up, I had all this blood all over me,

and like, these kids were watching, and like,

that's when I knew skateboarding was cool.

- You liar. - Yeah.

- Lying is cool. - Yeah.

You know, like...

this band sucks. But it's like, they suck, like, in new ways, you know.

Like, they suck in ways we haven't, like, seen stuff suck before.

So it's, like, pretty cool.

Yeah. It's like, a lot of bands suck...

but then like, these guys, like, suck, like, in their own way.

So it's like, it's like, pretty cool because, like, stuff sucks, but it's like,

it sucks, like, in a different way.

Yeah.

For like, what I was trying to say, is like, they suck.

A bomb rocked the national legislator bowling headquarters today.

Local authorities found a piece of blue plastic shrpanel

monogrammed with the initials "T.A.", and what they

suspect was the vinyl case the bomb was carried in.

We now cut live to the house of the alleged terrorist bomber

who had to be physically removed from a local bowling alley earlier in the day.

I'm standing in the house of Mr. Tom Anderson.

The man local authorities have labelled "The bowling-bomber".

I see a couple of Tom Anderson's neighbours right now...

Perhaps we can get a few words from them.

So tell me, what kind of a man is Tom Anderson?

He has a real short fuse.

Yeah. They should give him the chair.

The chair.

Well, there you have it...

But we're left to ponder what would drive him to do such an irrational thing.

What could be inside his head?

Hey Butt-Head, isn't this chick on House Of Style?

Oh yeah!

He thinks, like, because he looks like a chick

that he has to throw punches at the camera.

He's right.

Dillweed!

Yeah... hit it! Hit it! Hit it!

They told him to break stuff so he wouldn't look like such a wuss.

It really doesn't work tho.

That sucks!

Really!

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