Original subtitles

AT THE MOVIES

With their crudely fashioned stone tools,

keen hunting skills and incredible survival savvy,

the indigenous peoples of the South American rainforest

have survived for centuries in dignity and peace.

Virtually untouched by the hand of modern man.

Whoa! Topless tribeswomen.

Those are flat.

Yeah, but they're still cool.

Today the biggest threat to these noble people

comes from the encroachment of civilization.

And the rape of the rain forest known as clear cutting.

Cool.

Timber!

Yeah.

Black cowboys are cool.

Kool Moe Dee.

Whoa.

These guys kick ass.

- Snow is cool. - Yeah.

- Whoa, these guys twirl. - Yeah.

Is this, like, the Village People?

- "Wild wild west". - "Wild wild west".

- "Wild wild west". - "Wild wild west".

The wild wild wuss.

Whoa, she's almost naked.

That's cool.

Fire! Fire! Fire!

Check it out, it's Pussy Galore.

Is that that chick from that movie about that guy

with those numbers?

Yeah, he's got two zeros in his number,

so that he can kill people.

- That's cool. - Yeah.

James Bong.

You said "bong".

They said "bong".

Check it out, a toilet.

Yeah, yeah M-80 it.

We should have a toilet installed right in front of the TV.

That would be cool.

We could put a uriner right next to the TV.

Yeah, that sucks when you have to take a leak.

That you got to, like, leave the room.

Yeah, we could just take a leak right here.

They don't have enough toilets in videos.

Yeah.

They need more toilets in video.

- That would be cool. - Yeah.

Like, more of those uriners.

Yeah, those are cool.

Here I sit,

broken hearted, paid a dime and only farted.

That's cool.

Hey, check this out.

For a good time call Beavis's mom.

- 5-5... - Yeah, what it says here,

for a great time call Butt-Head's dad.

Gross.

- Come here, dude. - You ready?

- Aha, this is gonna be cool. - Yeah.

Okay, on three.

One-two-three.

- Yes! - Yes!

Whoa, that looks cool.

Hey Vern.

Excuse me, boys.

Y'all wouldn't know anything about a couple of kids

blowing up the men's room crapper

with a quarter stick of dynamite

then stealing half the snack bar's

candy in the commotion now, would ya?

Looks like we here at Bubba's night time discount

security are gonna have to teach you boys a thing or two

about respecting other people's property.

But let me tell you something.

This here is gonna hurt me

a whole crapload less than it's gonna hurt you.

My foot!

Cool.

Check it out, toes.

Cool.

Look.

This little piggy went to market.

This little piggy stayed home.

This little piggy had roast beef.

And this little piggy shot a big-ass hole through his foot.

You're a genius, Butt-Head.

Yes!

- This kicks ass! - Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

- "Boom Shalock Lock Boom". - "Boom Shalock Lock Boom".

"Boom Shalock Lock Boom".

"Breaker, breaker, here comes the gaper".

Hey, these guys are white.

Yeah.

Danny Bonaduce.

Yeah, that's that dude from "The Family".

No way, that's that dude in "The Kids In The Block".

- No, that was Donnie Wahlberg. - Oh yeah.

That dude is a wuss.

Yeah.

- Hey Beavis, are you Irish? - Yeah.

"Boom Shalock Lock Boom".

- These dudes are scary. - Yeah.

- That chick has a beer belly. - Yeah.

I like chubby chicks.

Hey, check it out, it's that chick from "Star Wars".

Yeah, princess Lay Me.

What's this video about?

It's about drama club chicks.

Yeah, I got a part for 'em.

Is this, like, one of those college videos?

Yeah, college sucks.

Hey Vern, lookee here. There's a sign that says so.

"Donut entry"?

I sure could go for a double jelly

glazed fudge cruller, if you know what I mean.

Help me.

Help me, please. Help me.

He's naked.

Don't forget to scrub your wiener.

- Butt, boobs. - Yeah.

I like when chicks wear shirts that are so tight you can see their boobs.

That's cool.

Check it out.

Look at those thingies.

Ooh, Baby. Come to Butt-Head.

Phil Rudd is cool.

He's better than that old fart they got now.

Shut up fartknocker, that guy they got now is cool.

Yeah, but Phil Rudd kicks ass.

AC/DC rules.

Kick ass.

Ooh, baby.

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