Original subtitles

BEWARE OF THE BUTT

Change it.

Biological processes for $800.

Part of the body responsible for the creation and organization

of the electronic impulses which,

when processed, form the basis of intelligence.

What is the butt, Alex?

Change it.

Sure I'll share my mother's scarf. But my mother's tampoon...

No way!

Change it.

The face of evil, the soul of terror,

the body of a babe. Fleshmonster!

The bone chilling story of a motorcycle riding,

eye-gouging, brain eating zombie sex kitten.

Who just happens to be insane.

Now playing at a crappy drive-in,

or second rate multiplex near you.

- Whoa! We're there dude. - Yeah.

I can't believe it, okay?

My honeymoon night, okay?

I will probably only have three or four more of these in my whole entire lifetime.

And you, you check me into that dump your brother calls a motel!

This is a big fat dude with hairy shoulders.

Yeah.

That's cool.

He's gonna buy some candy.

Can I help you?

Ooh! Breath mint.

Our lips are so close.

Not if you was the last immigrant grocer on earth, honey!

Son of a biscuit. My ancestors spit on your haircut.

Can you help me!?

My doctor said I have to take a laxative!

Not in my store you don't!

Look at all those big thingies.

I like when you can see the bottom of the thingies.

That is cool.

- Whoa. - Give me a bottle of anything...

and a glazed doughnut...

- To go. - This is boring.

- Is this the Bangles? - No, it's the Go-Go's.

- These are like, "grudge" chicks. - Yeah.

Grubby chicks are cool.

I'm gonna get a ring in my nose.

I had ringworm in my nose once.

- It was pretty cool. - Yeah, I remember.

Hey Beavis, let's pretend we're dead.

Yeah, that would be cool.

DRIVE - IN TUCKER CL ASS ACT

No, it's only three dollars if you got a car.

- Look. - What?

Look.

Look, I'm stroking my wiener.

Oh, man. Get a napkin, pud.

Gym teacher's handkerchief.

That's cool.

Nothing in here.

No.

No.

Bingo.

If this van's a-rockin' don't come a-knockin'.

Whoa, Beavis, look.

That's the biggest, fattest, hairiest, wart-coveredest butt I've ever saw.

Yeah, his is pretty ugly too.

You boys think you got a problem with my butt!?

I will kick your butts all over this drive-in.

This spawn of hell sucks.

Yeah, he is not nearly as scary as this butt.

No way, I can't believe it. All my sorority sisters are naked.

And like, decapitated.

Something's not right here.

- Duh! - Boy, she's stupid.

I hope nothing, like, bad is gonna happen to me.

- I know, I'll take a shower. - Yes!

You boys ready to die?

Buttwoman!

Help!

Help!

This sucks.

Yeah.

You're screwing it up, dumbass.

No way. You screwed it up, bunghole.

Shut up, Beavis. You want me to kick your ass again?

Hey Beavis, you know what these guys call themselves?

Helmet.

Yeah, helmet, yeah.

- That drummer looks like a regular guy. - Yeah.

If you, like, saw these guys on the street,

you wouldn't even know that they're cool.

Yeah, they look like normal guys, like us.

- Faster. - Yeah, yeah.

- Faster! - Faster! Faster! Faster! Faster!

Faster! Faster! Faster!

- Hey Beavis. - What?

- Your butt's weird looking. - Shut up.

Kinda looks like baloney.

- Shut up, dude. - With pimples on it.

Hey Butt-Head, why are you so interested in my butt?

Have you heard that new Gwar album?

These chicks look like guys.

Yeah, that one's not wearing a bra.

Hey Butt-Head, I've heard that these chicks grandpa is Ozzy Osbourne.

No way, ass wipe.

- They're Elvis' kids. - Oh yeah.

I get the one on the left.

You get the ugly one.

All right, Gwar!

Yeah, Gwar is cool.

Gwar! Gwar! Gwar!

Gwar! Gwar! Gwar!

- Gwar kicks ass. - Yeah.

Gwar!

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