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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,168 --> 00:00:04,503 All right, they got water, orange juice... 2 00:00:04,879 --> 00:00:07,256 ...and what looks like cider. 3 00:00:07,757 --> 00:00:08,799 Taste it. 4 00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:14,930 Yeah, it's fat. 5 00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:16,473 I drank fat! 6 00:00:18,226 --> 00:00:20,269 I know, I did that two minutes ago. 7 00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:23,939 Hey. 8 00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:25,607 Hey, Mr. Tux. 9 00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:28,444 - Why aren't you dressed? - We have a half-hour. 10 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:31,822 That was four minutes ago. We have to be out the door at 20 to 8. 11 00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:35,576 Relax, we'll be ready. It takes us two minutes to get dressed. 12 00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,995 I'd feel better if you got dressed now. 13 00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:39,913 - Okay. - Okay. 14 00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:43,709 Hey! 15 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,794 Oh, look at you, all sexy. 16 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,087 Really? 17 00:00:48,631 --> 00:00:50,007 Wow! 18 00:00:50,925 --> 00:00:52,051 - Hi. - Hi. 19 00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:57,181 - How come you didn't come over earlier? - Because I'm a stupid, stupid man. 20 00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,476 Hey, Ross, want some cider? 21 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:01,769 No. 22 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:04,897 So you're pretty close, huh? 23 00:01:05,106 --> 00:01:06,940 Makeup's on. Hair's done. 24 00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:08,567 I just have to get dressed. 25 00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:11,612 And that takes, what? Just 6 or 7 minutes? 26 00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:14,239 Yeah. Once I figure out what I'm wearing. 27 00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:18,202 Glass of fat? 28 00:01:19,996 --> 00:01:22,164 The One Where No One's Ready 29 00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:11,046 What's the matter? You nervous about your speech? 30 00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:12,673 Nope. 31 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,135 - You wanna hear it? - Am I in it? 32 00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:19,221 Uh-huh. 33 00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:23,976 After I thank everyone for donating to the museum... 34 00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:26,979 ...I sing a song about the wonder that is Joey. 35 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:29,857 - Hello. Hey. 36 00:02:30,024 --> 00:02:31,066 Whoa! 37 00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:32,693 Hello! You look great! 38 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:35,070 Thank you. I know, though. 39 00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:40,534 You see this? This is a person who is ready to go. 40 00:02:40,743 --> 00:02:41,952 Phoebe, you... 41 00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:43,579 You are my star. 42 00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:46,915 Aw. Well, you're my lucky penny. 43 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:55,007 All right, I took the quiz, and it turns out I do put career before men. 44 00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:58,802 Get up. 45 00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:00,262 What? 46 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,223 - You're in my seat. - How is this your seat? 47 00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:07,936 I was sitting there. 48 00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:09,605 But then you left. 49 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,733 Well, it's not like I went to Spain. 50 00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:15,903 I went to the bathroom. You knew I'd be back. 51 00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:17,946 What's the big deal? Sit somewhere else! 52 00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:21,700 The "big deal" is, I was sitting there last! So... 53 00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:23,243 ...it's my seat. 54 00:03:23,786 --> 00:03:27,956 Well, actually, the last place you were sitting was in there, so... 55 00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:31,001 You guys, you know what? It doesn't matter. 56 00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:35,797 You both have to go get dressed before the big vein in my head pops. 57 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,800 I just have to do one thing. It's not a big deal. 58 00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:40,219 Get up! 59 00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,055 - Hi. Hey. 60 00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:45,515 Ooh. Phoebe, you look great! 61 00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:47,976 All right already. 62 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,771 Ooh. Are you gonna do magic? 63 00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:55,067 That's funny. Change. 64 00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:57,152 - Hang on, I just got in. - I don't care. 65 00:03:57,445 --> 00:03:59,238 It starts at 8. We can't be late. 66 00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:02,324 "He could not, would not, want to wait. " 67 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,827 Our table is down in front. My boss will be there. 68 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,455 Everyone will see if we arrive after it starts. 69 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,666 Has somebody been drinking my fat? 70 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:16,004 Does this look like something a paleontologist's girlfriend would wear? 71 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,840 I don't know. You might be the first one. 72 00:04:20,134 --> 00:04:22,344 - Rach, did you check the machine? No. 73 00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:26,682 Wait. This is the outfit that makes my calves look fat. Never mind. 74 00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:33,438 Well, Joey, I wrote a little song today. 75 00:04:33,856 --> 00:04:35,190 It's called, "Get up!" 76 00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:39,111 All right. You can have the chair. 77 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:42,531 - Really? - Oh, my. Would you look at that? 78 00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:48,161 I'm coming over. 79 00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,998 What if I'm already there when you play this message? 80 00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:53,125 Is that too spooky? 81 00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:57,671 Hi, Rach, are you there? It's me. Pick up. 82 00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,881 Rachel? Rach? 83 00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:01,633 What? 84 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,177 Never mind. 85 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:09,057 Monica, it's Richard. Call me. 86 00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,229 Is that message old or new? 87 00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,357 Old or new? Old or new? 88 00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:20,402 It's definitely old. Didn't you hear the double beep? 89 00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:23,071 What if it's new? We agreed not to talk. 90 00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:26,074 It could be important. Shouldn't I call him back? 91 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,702 Honey, you did call him back. It's old. 92 00:05:28,911 --> 00:05:30,996 Yeah, see, Mon, listen. Listen. 93 00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:33,332 When Carol and I broke up... 94 00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:36,626 ...I went through the same thing. You know what I did? 95 00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:38,837 I got dressed. 96 00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:44,343 Really, really quickly, okay? Okay? 97 00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:46,595 There we go. There we go. 98 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,765 You know what? Don't get up. Just sit there. 99 00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:53,101 I just hope you don't mind my hand right here. 100 00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:57,731 Not touching. Can't get mad! Not touching. Can't get mad! 101 00:05:57,940 --> 00:06:00,108 Not touching. Can't get mad! 102 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,736 Oh! Oh, my God! 103 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,613 You rotten boys! 104 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:08,033 - Sorry, Phoebe. - What am I gonna do? 105 00:06:08,284 --> 00:06:10,118 Don't rub it! What gets out hummus? 106 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,037 What gets out hummus? 107 00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,581 Monica! What gets out hummus? 108 00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:18,960 If it is a new message, what is he calling to say? 109 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:22,047 Okay, thanks. Yeah, I'll try that. 110 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,801 Maybe he called to say you're obsessive and crazy? 111 00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,303 - So should I call him back? - No! 112 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:30,722 No! 113 00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:35,811 - Fine, we'll both sit in the chair. - Fine with me. 114 00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:42,067 I am so comfortable. 115 00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:44,319 Me too. 116 00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:48,198 In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable. 117 00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:55,914 Okay, we have 19 minutes. I want you to go and change. 118 00:06:56,165 --> 00:07:00,335 When you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. 119 00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:01,837 - Okay. - All right. 120 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,630 Fine. I'm going. 121 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:07,426 When I get back, it's Chair City. And I'm the guy... 122 00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:09,344 ...who's sitting in a chair! 123 00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:12,806 Is this a little too...? 124 00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:15,016 Pheebs? What happened? 125 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,518 I got the hummus. 126 00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:20,772 Oh, honey, we'll find you something. You wanna wear my black jacket? 127 00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,191 - It won't go with this dress. - You're right. 128 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:27,821 - Well, let's just get you out of that. - No, no, no. Not out of that. 129 00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:30,949 - Not out of clothes. - Can Phoebe borrow your green dress? 130 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,159 I called him. 131 00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:36,746 Yes. I got his machine and I left a message. 132 00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:38,457 But it's okay. It's okay... 133 00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:41,877 ...because it was, like, a casual, breezy message. 134 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,170 It was breezy. 135 00:07:44,046 --> 00:07:45,964 Oh, God, what if it wasn't breezy? 136 00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:50,552 How could it not be breezy? No, because you're in such a breezy place. 137 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:55,515 I got it. I'll play my message, and you guys tell me if it's breezy enough. 138 00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,809 But how you gonna do that? 139 00:07:58,394 --> 00:08:00,896 I know the code to his answering machine. 140 00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:03,690 Okay, Mon, I really don't think this is the... 141 00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,651 Okay, you're dialing. You are dialing. 142 00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:19,539 Hi, this is Richard. Please leave a message at the tone. 143 00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:23,585 You have two new messages. 144 00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,420 What a cool job. 145 00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:27,672 "You have two new messages. " 146 00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:31,843 Please pass the pie. 147 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,806 Hi, it's Monica. I'm just checking in. 148 00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:40,268 I got a message and didn't know if it was old or new... 149 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,521 ...so I'm just checking. 150 00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,356 So let me know. 151 00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:45,941 Or don't. Whatever. 152 00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,776 I'm breezy! 153 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:52,614 You can't say you're "breezy. " That negates the "breezy. " 154 00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:57,869 Hola. It's me. Yesterday was really fun. 155 00:08:58,579 --> 00:09:00,830 Call me about this weekend, okay? 156 00:09:04,126 --> 00:09:05,752 Now, she sounded breezy. 157 00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:13,134 He's seeing someone. I can't believe he's seeing someone. 158 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,971 - You don't know that. - Well, whose voice was that? 159 00:09:16,138 --> 00:09:19,140 Maybe it was his sister's. Maybe it was his daughter's. 160 00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:23,812 Michelle. Of course! Did it sound like Michelle? 161 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:28,483 Oh, great. It's starting to rain. That'll make it easier to get a cab. 162 00:09:29,485 --> 00:09:30,485 It was Michelle. 163 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,404 It was definitely Michelle. 164 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:36,825 Try Monica's green dress. If it doesn't fit, wear my gray silk one. 165 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:39,661 - Unless I wear it. - You don't know what you're wearing? 166 00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:42,497 I'm just trying to look nice for your big night. 167 00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:45,375 Yeah, which we have to leave for in 12 minutes. 168 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:48,378 Come on, I'll just pick something out for you. 169 00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,880 You'll notice that I'm fully dressed. 170 00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:54,509 I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. 171 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:59,556 So in the words of A.A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dill-hole. " 172 00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,393 Okay. 173 00:10:11,068 --> 00:10:13,695 - What are you doing? - You said to give you the chair. 174 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:16,031 You didn't say anything about cushions. 175 00:10:16,198 --> 00:10:17,907 They're the essence of the chair! 176 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,785 That's right! I'm taking the essence. 177 00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:23,705 Oh, he'll be back. 178 00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:26,374 Oh, there's nobody in the room. 179 00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:30,670 - I'm sorry, I thought it looked pretty. - That was a Halloween costume. 180 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:34,215 Unless you would like me to go as Little Bo Peep. 181 00:10:34,675 --> 00:10:37,385 I didn't recognize it without that inflatable sheep. 182 00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:41,431 Yeah, which, by the way, Chandler, I would like back one of these days. 183 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:46,728 Rach, good! Listen, isn't this perfect for me? 184 00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:49,272 Oh, it's perfect! But not for tonight. 185 00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:52,901 Of course not for tonight. Hi. I'm going to a benefit. 186 00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:55,236 Not for tonight? What are you doing? 187 00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:58,782 No, I'm sorry. We didn't mean it. I love you. Breathe. 188 00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:03,203 We used them as pillows when we went camping. 189 00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:04,412 What? 190 00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:06,581 The sheep. 191 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,794 Hey, what you do on your own time... 192 00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:16,925 - Where's my underwear? - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 193 00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:20,595 - Come on, you took his underwear? - He took my essence! 194 00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:25,642 Okay, hold on. Why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now? 195 00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:28,520 Because I'm not wearing any underwear now. 196 00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:32,107 Then why do you have to wear underwear tonight? 197 00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,109 It's a rented tux, okay? 198 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,654 I'm not gonna go "commando" in another man's fatigues. 199 00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:43,451 Then somebody's gonna have to give somebody back his cushions. 200 00:11:44,286 --> 00:11:48,456 Okay. You hide my clothes. I'm gonna do the exact opposite to you. 201 00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:53,878 What, are you gonna show me my clothes? 202 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,547 Hey, opposite... 203 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:57,799 ...is opposite. 204 00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:01,261 He's got nothing! 205 00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:03,680 Okay, I'm ready. 206 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:12,147 Rachel didn't have anything I liked but this ribbon. 207 00:12:12,356 --> 00:12:14,816 I thought, all right, I'll be political. 208 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:19,654 - What are you supporting? - Christmas. 209 00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:26,161 Hey, that's okay with me. Two down, and I have exactly 12 minutes... 210 00:12:26,662 --> 00:12:27,662 What? 211 00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:31,291 My watch stopped. My watch. Okay, see... 212 00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:34,335 ...the dinosaur tail isn't going around anymore. 213 00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:37,589 What time is it? It's 7:33. I have 7 minutes. 214 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,007 I have seven minutes! 215 00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:42,177 Which shoes should I wear? The black or the purple? 216 00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:44,888 - Just pick one, okay? - Oh, okay, okay. The black. 217 00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:47,390 Do you have black with little strappies? 218 00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:51,686 Yeah, but those go better with pants. Maybe I should wear pants. 219 00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:56,816 Yeah, pants! What an idea! Or better yet, go without pants. 220 00:12:57,026 --> 00:13:00,111 I don't know what you're doing but just get in there... 221 00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:02,864 ...and pick out any shoes that fit your feet. 222 00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:06,534 I don't care if they match. I don't care if they make... 223 00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:11,372 ...your ankles or your knees or your earlobes look fat. Just do it! 224 00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:14,250 Go in there, pick something out so we can go. 225 00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:19,547 - All right. - Thank you. 226 00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:24,093 I've got to call Michelle to see if that was her voice. 227 00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:26,221 It was. It was her voice. 228 00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:29,557 Monica, I think you've gone over to the bad place. 229 00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:35,396 Hola. 230 00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:38,066 Hello? Hello? 231 00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:42,487 - Okay. That was her, right? - Definitely. Yeah. 232 00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:44,572 So there you go. Whew! 233 00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:48,076 We're out of the woods. I think I'll get dressed now. 234 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,412 - I'll get it. Okay. 235 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,123 Hi, Monica and Rachel's. 236 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:57,669 Yeah, just a second. Can I ask who's calling? 237 00:13:57,962 --> 00:13:59,254 Ooh! It's Michelle! Ooh! 238 00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:05,426 She must have that "caller I.D." thing. You should get that. 239 00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:09,472 Michelle? 240 00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:13,935 Yeah, that was me. I dialed your number by mistake. 241 00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:15,311 Just try to be... 242 00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:18,773 You're so sweet. 243 00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:21,484 Yeah, we were a great couple. 244 00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,695 I know, I really miss him. 245 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,906 Well, you know how it is. It's just that... 246 00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,783 You know what's weird? 247 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,787 Donald Duck never wore pants. 248 00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:36,124 But when he gets out of the shower... 249 00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:38,960 ...he always puts a towel around his waist. 250 00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:43,923 I mean, what is that about? 251 00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:48,428 I only beeped in so I could hear my own message. 252 00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:49,971 I mean, that's allowed. 253 00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:51,472 Yeah! 254 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:57,061 I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't tell your dad about... 255 00:14:57,313 --> 00:15:00,481 What do you mean, you don't feel comfortable with this? We're friends! 256 00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:04,861 That bitch always hated me. 257 00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:08,573 - I'm calling her back. - No, no, no! Tick, tick, tick. 258 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,491 - Okay, fine. - Okay. 259 00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:15,163 - She's got a phone in there, right? - Okay, we're on it. 260 00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:26,007 Um, heh, heh... 261 00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:29,844 I know it says, "black tie optional"... 262 00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:32,764 ...but this may be pushing it a little. 263 00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:34,849 I'm not gonna go. 264 00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,227 You're not gonna go? 265 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:42,190 No, I think I'm gonna catch up on my correspondence. 266 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,527 How can you not be going? 267 00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:48,529 I'm not gonna go. 268 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:52,533 So I think that will accomplish the "not going. " 269 00:15:57,414 --> 00:15:59,749 Um, you know, just out of curiosity... 270 00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:03,503 Ever since I was humiliated and yelled at in front of my friends... 271 00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:08,132 ...I'm just, I don't know, not in a very museum benefit-y kind of mood. 272 00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:12,387 Right. Well, okay. Okay. God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I yelled. 273 00:16:12,596 --> 00:16:14,806 - That's fine. - No, but you're mad. 274 00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:17,016 I'm not mad. I'm just not going. 275 00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:18,726 - Right. - Okay. 276 00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:23,064 - You know that I have to go, right? - Mm-hm. 277 00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:27,777 So is it gonna be like I'm abandoning you while you're upset? 278 00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:28,987 - No. - No? 279 00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:33,241 - You're not upset about the yelling. - Right. And the humiliating. 280 00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:35,576 Well, of course, the humiliating. 281 00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:38,663 So we... 282 00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,415 ...we're okay? 283 00:16:40,624 --> 00:16:42,625 - We're good. - Right. 284 00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:48,256 - Honey? I love you. - Yes, Ross. 285 00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:51,467 Get away from that phone! 286 00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:56,180 She's just getting dressed now. 287 00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:02,645 Is it wrong that I was totally aroused by that? 288 00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:13,114 Okay, buddy boy, here it is. 289 00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:17,326 You hide my clothes. I'm wearing everything you own. 290 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,454 Oh, my God! 291 00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:24,792 That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear! 292 00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:26,627 Look at me! I'm Chandler. 293 00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:29,797 Could I be wearing any more clothes? 294 00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:33,676 Maybe if I wasn't going commando... 295 00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:41,100 It's hot with all this stuff on. 296 00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,895 I better not do any, I don't know, lunges. 297 00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:48,983 Okay, enough. Enough with the lunging. 298 00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,861 I'm sick of this. I've had it up to here. 299 00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:54,614 Neither of you can come to the party! 300 00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:56,616 Jeez, what a baby! 301 00:17:57,659 --> 00:18:00,328 Way to ruin it. I was just gonna go get dressed. 302 00:18:00,537 --> 00:18:02,997 The only person I cared about getting dressed... 303 00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:05,666 ...is the person who's not even gonna go. 304 00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,752 Look, Rach, I'm sorry, okay? 305 00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:12,131 Look, I was a jerk, okay? I'm sorry I yelled. I want you there. 306 00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:13,633 I need you there. 307 00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:19,222 What can I do to show you how much I want you to be there? 308 00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:22,350 You could drink the fat. 309 00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:27,522 Welcome to an adult conversation. 310 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,233 No, no, no. Now wait a minute. Wait a minute. 311 00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:34,195 - That actually sounds interesting. - What? 312 00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:36,572 I think you should drink the fat. 313 00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:38,407 Yay! 314 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:46,958 Okay, if that's what it takes to show you how much you mean to me... 315 00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:49,877 ...and how much I want you there, that's what I'll do. 316 00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:52,964 Let me get you another glass. That's been sitting out. 317 00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:55,716 I think this will be fine. 318 00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,887 Okay, vanilla milkshake. Just a vanilla milkshake... 319 00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:02,974 ...with chicken bits floating in it. 320 00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,436 Cheers. 321 00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:10,314 No, don't! Okay, okay, I'll go. I'll go. 322 00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:11,732 You will? 323 00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:14,569 You were really gonna do that? 324 00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:15,820 Well, yeah. 325 00:19:16,738 --> 00:19:18,906 You were gonna drink the fat. 326 00:19:22,452 --> 00:19:24,453 Let's see what else he'll do! 327 00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:29,125 How about you get changed? Give him his underwear. 328 00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:32,628 I'll get a cab. I want everyone downstairs in two minutes. 329 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:33,963 Monica! 330 00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:35,590 Stop it. 331 00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:36,924 Stop it! 332 00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:43,097 Ross went to get a cab so we... 333 00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:45,933 What are you doing? No, Monica, no! 334 00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:50,730 Hi, this is Richard. 335 00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:55,109 You have three new messages. 336 00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:57,737 Not anymore. 337 00:19:58,447 --> 00:19:59,947 Message erased. 338 00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:06,120 To record your message, begin speaking at the tone. 339 00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,624 Hi, Richard. It's Monica. 340 00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,835 Listen, I did something kind of crazy tonight. 341 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,963 Maybe I'm getting my period or something. I don't know. 342 00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:20,301 Anyway, I beeped into your machine and I heard this message... 343 00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:21,969 ...that freaked me out... 344 00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:25,306 ...and Michelle will tell you the rest. 345 00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:30,269 I'm sorry, okay? And I hope that we can just forget the whole thing. 346 00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:36,776 Your outgoing message has now been changed. 347 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:38,903 Outgoing? 348 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,363 Did that say outgoing? 349 00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:41,989 Not outgoing! 350 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,078 Hi, Richard, it's Monica. 351 00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:50,289 Listen, I did something kind of crazy tonight. 352 00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:53,167 Maybe I'm getting my period or something. I don't know. 353 00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:55,836 - How did you do that? - I don't know! 354 00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:58,172 Goodbye. - No! 355 00:20:59,883 --> 00:21:00,925 Okay. 356 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:05,388 Okay, I've got two cabs and no people! Go, go, go! 357 00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:08,849 Maybe we can call the phone company to change the message? 358 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:10,393 They could change his number. 359 00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:13,729 I think after this, he'll be doing that himself. 360 00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:16,732 Rachel! 361 00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:21,612 Wow! 362 00:21:22,572 --> 00:21:25,199 You... You look... 363 00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:26,867 Wow! 364 00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:30,871 And I still have about five seconds to spare. 365 00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:38,587 That was about 7 seconds. 366 00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:40,423 So we're a little late. 367 00:21:40,632 --> 00:21:42,425 Come on. 368 00:21:43,427 --> 00:21:45,261 Oh, and by the way... 369 00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:46,554 What? 370 00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:48,139 I'm going commando too. 371 00:21:59,651 --> 00:22:00,735 Dr. Geller? 372 00:22:01,028 --> 00:22:04,530 - Sherman Whitfield, London Institute. - What a pleasure. 373 00:22:04,948 --> 00:22:09,618 I was quite impressed with your paper on pre-Cretaceous fossils. 374 00:22:09,911 --> 00:22:12,121 Yes, it confirmed everything I'd written. 375 00:22:12,414 --> 00:22:13,748 Excuse me. 376 00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:15,041 Hi. 377 00:22:15,584 --> 00:22:16,625 Yes? 378 00:22:16,918 --> 00:22:18,711 You're kind of sitting in my seat. 379 00:22:20,088 --> 00:22:21,714 What do you mean, your seat? 380 00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:25,217 - I mean, I was sitting there. - But you got up. 381 00:22:25,427 --> 00:22:27,553 But I never left the room. 382 00:22:28,305 --> 00:22:30,639 But you left the chair area. 383 00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:35,019 All right, that's it. Give me your underwear. 28780

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