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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:05,713 - She totally winked at me! - She did not wink at you. 2 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:08,882 You always think somebody's winking at you. 3 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,390 Huh. 4 00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:14,448 I say "Tupelo Honey" by Van Morrison. 5 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:15,991 No way! 6 00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:18,994 The most romantic song ever was "The Way We Were. " 7 00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:24,333 Ah, I think the one that Elton John wrote for, um, that guy on Who's the Boss? 8 00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:28,295 - What song was that? - Um. 9 00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:31,673 Hold me close, young Tony Danza 10 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:37,846 Hi, Monica. Hi, Mon. 11 00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:39,681 Hey, Mon. 12 00:01:41,559 --> 00:01:42,976 Oh, my God! 13 00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:44,978 - Has she slept at all? Nope. 14 00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:47,064 It's been three nights in a row. 15 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:49,066 She finally stopped crying yesterday. 16 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:52,361 But then she found one of Richard's cigar butts on the terrace... 17 00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:56,949 Oh. Okay, that explains it. I got a call at 2 in the morning... 18 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,368 ...and all I could hear was this squeaky sound. 19 00:01:59,577 --> 00:02:02,204 So I thought, "Oh, it's a mouse or a possum. " 20 00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:07,209 Then I realized, like, okay... 21 00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:11,421 ...where would a mouse or a possum get the money to make the phone call? 22 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,635 Morning. - Morning. Hey. 23 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,637 You made pancakes? 24 00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:22,307 Yeah, like there's any way I could ever do that. 25 00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:26,019 Monica and Rachel had syrup 26 00:02:26,187 --> 00:02:29,439 Uh, uh Now I can get my man to cheer up 27 00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:33,443 Good morning, Joey. 28 00:02:33,611 --> 00:02:34,903 Good morning. 29 00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,030 Here's a thought. 30 00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:40,075 Why don't you stay home from work and just hang out with me? 31 00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:41,326 Oh, I wish. 32 00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:44,705 You have that report to finish, and I've got to see my lawyer. 33 00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:48,041 I can't believe I date a girl who's getting divorced. 34 00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:50,669 - I'm such a grownup. - Ha-ha-ha. 35 00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:52,546 I gotta go, I gotta go. 36 00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:54,089 Not without a kiss. 37 00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:56,383 Maybe I won't kiss you so you'll stay. 38 00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:58,760 Kiss her. Kiss her! 39 00:03:00,638 --> 00:03:03,223 I'll see you later, sweetie. Bye, Joey. 40 00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:05,434 Bye-bye, Janice. 41 00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:09,146 So when are you dumping her? 42 00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:10,397 Nope. 43 00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:11,648 Not this time. 44 00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:14,318 Heh. Come on, quit yanking me. 45 00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:19,448 I'm not yanking you. 46 00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:23,035 - This is Janice. - Yeah, I know. 47 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,786 She makes me happy. 48 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,081 Okay. All right. 49 00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:31,752 You look me in the eye and tell me, without blinking... 50 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,755 ...that you're not breaking up with her. No blinking. 51 00:03:37,675 --> 00:03:39,384 I'm not breaking up with her! 52 00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:46,558 Ah! 53 00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:47,851 What's that? 54 00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:50,520 God, look what I found in the drain! 55 00:03:50,688 --> 00:03:52,147 What? 56 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,525 It's some of Richard's hair! 57 00:03:55,693 --> 00:03:57,236 What do I do with this? 58 00:03:57,403 --> 00:04:00,405 Getting it away from me would be job one. 59 00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:04,660 It's weird, but I don't want to throw this away. 60 00:04:04,827 --> 00:04:06,870 This is all I have left of him. 61 00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:08,622 Gross... 62 00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:10,624 ...drain hair. 63 00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,292 Ew! 64 00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:22,261 Cool! Oh, it looks like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. 65 00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:27,808 - God, what is wrong with me? - You need to get some sleep. 66 00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,309 I need to get some Richard. 67 00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:35,065 You broke up with him for a reason. 68 00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:39,236 I know. I know. I'm just so tired of missing him. 69 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:42,531 Tired of wondering why he hasn't called. Why hasn't he? 70 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,825 Maybe because you told him not to? 71 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,911 What are you, the Memory Woman? 72 00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,915 They're not breaking up! Chandler and Janice? 73 00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:54,584 They're not breaking up! He didn't blink! 74 00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:58,505 I'm not surprised. Have you seen them together? 75 00:04:58,673 --> 00:04:59,965 They're really cute. 76 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:03,093 "Cute"? This is Janice! 77 00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:04,594 You remember Janice? 78 00:05:04,762 --> 00:05:07,264 Yes, I remember. She's annoying. But you know what? 79 00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:10,183 She's his girlfriend now. I mean, what can we do? 80 00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:14,021 There you go! That's the spirit I'm looking for! "What can we do?" 81 00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:15,856 Huh? 82 00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:18,567 All right, who's first, huh? Ross? 83 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:21,403 Chandler's our friend, and Janice makes him happy. 84 00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:24,364 So I say we be adult about it and accept her. 85 00:05:24,532 --> 00:05:26,366 We'll call that Plan B. 86 00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:49,931 Honey... 87 00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:52,434 ...I was wondering... - Mm. 88 00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:56,438 ...do you still have that, um, Navy uniform? 89 00:05:57,857 --> 00:06:00,609 No, I had to return it to the costume place. 90 00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:01,860 Oh. 91 00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:04,196 I think I have an old band uniform from high school. 92 00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:07,324 You remember not having sex in high school, right? 93 00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:09,368 Yeah. 94 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,623 Well, honey, what about you? 95 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:15,874 - What? - I mean... 96 00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:22,297 Do you have any fun, you know, fantasy-type things? 97 00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:24,883 No. 98 00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:28,178 Come on. You gotta have one. 99 00:06:29,138 --> 00:06:30,180 Nope. 100 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,849 - Ross, you know what? - What? 101 00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:36,728 If you tell me, I might do it. 102 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,154 Okay. 103 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,073 - Ahem. - Um. 104 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:52,160 Did you ever see, um, Return of the Jedi? 105 00:06:58,167 --> 00:06:59,876 Yeah. 106 00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:03,839 Do you remember the scene... 107 00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,676 ...with, um, Jabba the Hutt? 108 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:13,515 Jabba had as his prisoner... 109 00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:14,891 ...Princess Leia. 110 00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:18,687 Oh. 111 00:07:19,188 --> 00:07:20,856 Princess Leia was wearing... 112 00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:25,694 ...this, um, gold bikini thing. 113 00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:30,031 It was pretty cool. 114 00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:36,705 Yeah, Princess Leia and the gold bikini? Oh, every guy our age loved that. 115 00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:40,333 - Really? - Mm-hm. Mm. 116 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:44,421 It's huge! That's the moment when she stopped being a princess... 117 00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:47,424 ...and she became, like, you know, a woman. 118 00:07:49,218 --> 00:07:52,220 Did you ever do the Leia thing? 119 00:07:52,388 --> 00:07:53,972 Oh, yeah. Mm-hm. 120 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,270 Really? That great, huh? 121 00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:03,773 No, it's just that I got this new pager, and I have it on "vibrate. " 122 00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,489 See you. 123 00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:11,740 Hey. 124 00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:12,991 Hi, you guys! 125 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,744 Look who I found standing outside the Szechuan Dragon... 126 00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:18,622 ...staring at a parking meter. 127 00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:23,084 - Ahem. Mon. Hi. - Hi. 128 00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:26,463 - Why aren't you at work? - Oh, they sent me home. 129 00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:28,131 Why? 130 00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:31,176 Because I don't work at the Szechuan Dragon. 131 00:08:31,385 --> 00:08:33,512 You really need to get some sleep. 132 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:34,846 I know I do. 133 00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:36,473 - Hi. - Hi. 134 00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:38,517 Guess what? They published my paper. 135 00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:41,853 - Oh! Really? Let me see, let me see. - Uh-huh. 136 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,230 Rach, look! 137 00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:44,564 No. - Ooh. 138 00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:46,316 Hi. Ha, ha. 139 00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:49,236 Ha, ha! Oh. 140 00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:52,030 Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me? 141 00:08:58,454 --> 00:08:59,579 There he is! 142 00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:05,585 - Hey. - Wheel! 143 00:09:05,753 --> 00:09:08,088 - Of! - Fortune! 144 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:10,590 This guy's so stupid. 145 00:09:10,758 --> 00:09:12,259 It's Count Rushmore! 146 00:09:16,472 --> 00:09:18,473 You should really go on this show. 147 00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:24,020 I got three tickets to the Rangers tonight. What do you say? 148 00:09:24,188 --> 00:09:26,231 I say I am there! 149 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:28,108 Cool! Oh. 150 00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:29,359 Is Ross going too? 151 00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:30,902 No. Janice. 152 00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:33,113 Janice? 153 00:09:33,864 --> 00:09:37,242 Because I just feel bad for Ross, you know? 154 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:42,163 We always go together. We're like The Three Hockey-teers, you know? 155 00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:47,210 I may be way out on a limb here, but do you have a problem with Janice? 156 00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:49,004 No! 157 00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:50,880 Yes... 158 00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:54,175 Oh, God, how do I say this? Uh... 159 00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:57,095 Oh! Ah! 160 00:09:57,555 --> 00:10:00,140 You know that girl from the restaurant with the hair? 161 00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:03,351 Ooh! That girl that I hate? Ugh! She drives me crazy. Ew. 162 00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:05,312 Oh. 163 00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:09,774 Look, I don't hate Janice. She's just a lot to take, you know? 164 00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:14,738 - Well, there you go. - Oh. 165 00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:16,698 Don't look at me like that. 166 00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,326 She drove you nuts before too, remember? 167 00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:22,621 I'm crazy about her now. This could be the real thing. 168 00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:24,873 Capital R, capital T! 169 00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:29,711 Don't worry, those are the right letters. 170 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:33,632 Look, what do you want me to say? 171 00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:36,217 I want you to say that you like her! 172 00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:39,346 I can't. It's like this chemical thing, you know? 173 00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:42,474 Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna... 174 00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:48,396 ...pull my arm off so I have something to throw at her. 175 00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:51,775 Thanks for trying. 176 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:57,489 Oh, and by the way, there is no Count Rushmore! 177 00:10:57,990 --> 00:11:00,909 Then who's the guy that painted the faces on the mountain? 178 00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:08,416 - Ugh. - How could you tell her? 179 00:11:08,584 --> 00:11:11,461 I didn't think it would be that big a deal! 180 00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:13,505 Oh. She didn't think it would be a big deal! 181 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,965 Who are you talking to when you do that? 182 00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:21,596 Look, that was supposed to be a private, personal thing between us. 183 00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:26,017 Phoebe is my girlfriend, okay? We tell each other everything. 184 00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:28,019 Guys do the same thing. 185 00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:31,106 I mean, what about all that locker-room stuff? 186 00:11:31,273 --> 00:11:34,150 That's different. That's like, uh, who dated a stripper? 187 00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:37,821 Or who did it on the back of the Staten Island ferry? 188 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:39,781 - Both of those Joey? - Yeah. 189 00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:44,536 But you don't talk about your girlfriend... 190 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,914 ...and the intimate stuff you do with her. 191 00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:50,792 - Not even with your best friend? - No. 192 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,043 That is so sad. 193 00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:56,131 You're missing out on so much. 194 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:59,050 I mean, the bonding and the sharing... 195 00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:02,971 ...and knowing they're going through the same thing you are. 196 00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:07,642 Oh. So, what, you tell each other everything? 197 00:12:08,477 --> 00:12:09,561 Pretty much. 198 00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:16,025 Did you talk about the Night of Five Times? 199 00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:22,157 Do you tell people about the Night of Five Times? 200 00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:24,659 Uh, honey, that was with Carol. 201 00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:28,079 I know, but it's still worth mentioning, I think. 202 00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:33,209 Relax every muscle in your body. 203 00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:39,174 Listen to the plinky-plunky music. 204 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:42,844 Okay, now close your eyes... 205 00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:46,014 ...and think of a happy place. 206 00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:48,057 Tell me your happy place. 207 00:12:48,225 --> 00:12:50,685 Richard's living room, drinking wine. 208 00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:56,065 No, no, no. Not a Richard thing. Just put down the glass and get out. 209 00:12:56,692 --> 00:12:59,194 I'm sorry, but that's my happy place. 210 00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:04,199 Okay, fine. Use my happy place. Just don't move anything in there. 211 00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:06,618 I'll try not to. 212 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:10,872 Okay. All right, so, you're in a meadow... 213 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,917 ...millions of stars in the sky... 214 00:13:14,084 --> 00:13:16,127 You think breaking up was a mistake? 215 00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:18,713 There are no questions in the happy place. 216 00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:26,387 Just the warm breeze and the moonlight flowing through the trees. 217 00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:28,890 I'll bet he's over me. I'll bet he's fine. 218 00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:32,769 Betting and wagering of any kind are not permitted in the happy place. 219 00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:34,229 Okay? 220 00:13:34,396 --> 00:13:37,899 There's just, you know, the lovely waterfalls... 221 00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:40,610 ...and the trickling fountains... 222 00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:45,740 ...and the calming sounds of the babbling brook. 223 00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,742 - Okay, this isn't working. - Oh. 224 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,452 I'm still awake, and now I have to pee. 225 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,079 Oh. 226 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,122 So I hear... 227 00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:54,707 ...you hate me! 228 00:13:55,918 --> 00:14:00,421 I, uh, never said hate. I was very careful about that. 229 00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:05,844 A little birdie told me you wanting to rip your arm off and throw it at me. 230 00:14:07,304 --> 00:14:11,558 And you got "hate" from that? You're taking a big leap there, I, uh... 231 00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:13,601 All right, fine, fine, fine! 232 00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:17,605 We have got to do something about our little situation here. 233 00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:19,399 So this is my idea. 234 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:23,486 You and me spending some quality time together. 235 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:26,030 But what does that...? 236 00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:27,615 For Chandler! 237 00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:30,577 Okay. I'm in. 238 00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:36,749 Okay! This is what we'll call it: Joey and Janice's Day of Fun! 239 00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:39,002 Does it have to be a day? 240 00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:43,631 Yes, because that's how long it takes to love me. 241 00:14:44,174 --> 00:14:48,303 Yeah, I know. Ha. I sleep in the next room. 242 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,559 I went down to the post office... 243 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:57,645 ...and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered... 244 00:14:57,813 --> 00:15:00,815 ...for Richard about the Civil War. 245 00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:03,109 He loved the Civil War. 246 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:07,739 Do you want us to take you home? 247 00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:09,073 Uh-huh. 248 00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:13,995 Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away. 249 00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:25,173 Women tell each other everything. Did you know that? 250 00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:27,508 Ha, ha. Yeah. 251 00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:30,511 No, Chandler, everything. 252 00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:34,265 Like stuff you like. Stuff she likes. 253 00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:37,852 Technique. Stamina. Girth. 254 00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:40,730 Girth? 255 00:15:41,565 --> 00:15:43,191 Why? Why? Why? 256 00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:45,401 Why would they do this? 257 00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:49,906 Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly... 258 00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:52,575 ...we ought to be doing it. 259 00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,954 Uh, do you want to? 260 00:15:57,581 --> 00:16:00,041 - We're not gonna talk about girth? - No. 261 00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:02,418 - Yeah. Okay. Yeah. - Yeah? 262 00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:04,712 All right, you go first. 263 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:07,632 - Okay. Okay, I'll go first. - Okay. 264 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,884 So, uh, the other night... 265 00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:13,638 ...Rachel and I are in bed talking about fantasies... 266 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:17,809 ...and I happened to describe a particular... 267 00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:19,894 ...Star Wars thing... 268 00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:22,271 - Princess Leia and the gold bikini. - Yes. 269 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,524 - I know! - Yes. 270 00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:27,694 Whoa. Wow. 271 00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:29,404 - Well, that was easy. Ha, ha. - Ha, ha. 272 00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:30,655 Okay, you go. 273 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:31,906 - Okay. - Okay. 274 00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:35,451 Okay, you know when you're in bed with a woman... 275 00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:36,703 Uh. 276 00:16:36,912 --> 00:16:40,248 ...and, uh, ahem, you know, you're fooling around... 277 00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:43,209 ...and you get all these mental images in your brain? 278 00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:46,671 Like Elle MacPherson or the girl at the Xerox place? 279 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:49,549 - With the bellybutton ring? Oh. - Oh! I know. 280 00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:52,301 And then all of a sudden, your mom pops into your head. 281 00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:57,724 And you're, like, "Mom, get out of here!" 282 00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:00,601 But after that, you can't think of anything else. 283 00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:06,065 And you can't stop what you're doing. So it's kind of like you're... 284 00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:08,860 ...you know, you know... 285 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,029 You don't know! 286 00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:14,449 Your mom? 287 00:17:14,658 --> 00:17:18,202 You're telling me about your mom? What's the matter with you? 288 00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:22,123 - You said... - I said "share," not "scare"! 289 00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:24,375 Go sit over there! 290 00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:32,216 - We're back! Hey. 291 00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,178 What are you guys doing together? 292 00:17:35,345 --> 00:17:38,306 Joey and Janice's Day of Fun! 293 00:17:41,101 --> 00:17:42,518 - Really? Yeah, yeah. 294 00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:45,021 We went to a Mets game. We got Chinese food. 295 00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:48,232 And, uh, you know, I love this woman. Ha-ha-ha. 296 00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:51,277 You have got competition, buddy. 297 00:17:52,696 --> 00:17:56,199 Well, I just came by to give you a kiss. 298 00:17:56,366 --> 00:17:57,617 Mwah. 299 00:17:57,826 --> 00:18:02,997 I have to go pick up the baby. So I'll see you later, sweetheart. 300 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:04,373 You too, Chandler. 301 00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:18,429 - You still can't stand her, can you? - I'm sorry, man. I tried! I really did! 302 00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:22,600 I appreciate you giving it a shot. 303 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:25,103 But you know, the good thing... 304 00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:28,731 ...is that we spent the whole day together and I survived. 305 00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:32,151 And what's even more amazing, so did she. Ha, ha. 306 00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:34,278 It was Bat Day at Shea Stadium. 307 00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:37,657 I guess that's something. 308 00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,659 Oh, man, that's huge! 309 00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:43,246 Now I know I can stand to be around her. Which means... 310 00:18:43,413 --> 00:18:45,123 ...I get to hang out with you. 311 00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:48,167 Which is kind of the whole point anyway. Ha, ha. 312 00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:50,878 Okay. 313 00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:57,552 Oh, hey! We, uh, stopped by the coffee shop and, uh, ran into Ross. 314 00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:04,350 Oh, God. 315 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,103 If it makes you feel any better, I do it too. 316 00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:09,814 Oh. 317 00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,899 - Really? - Oh, yeah! 318 00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:14,569 I always picture your mom when I'm having sex. 319 00:19:19,616 --> 00:19:22,076 April 12, 1861. 320 00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:28,875 The United States garrison at Fort Sumter was fired upon. 321 00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:32,253 It is now under bombardment by... 322 00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:45,391 Dad, what are you doing here? 323 00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:49,687 It's your mother's bridge night, so I came into the city for a Moni-cuddle. 324 00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:51,689 Oh. 325 00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:56,360 Since when did you start smoking cigars? 326 00:19:57,321 --> 00:20:01,282 I don't. I just like the smell of them. 327 00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:04,827 So, uh, what are you really doing here? 328 00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:07,205 I just wanted to make sure you're okay. 329 00:20:08,832 --> 00:20:10,625 Why wouldn't I be okay? 330 00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:12,210 I saw Richard. 331 00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:15,171 Oh? 332 00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:17,215 So how you doing? 333 00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:18,799 I'm fine. 334 00:20:18,967 --> 00:20:22,094 I'm just a little tired, but I'm okay. 335 00:20:22,262 --> 00:20:25,097 - Ahem. How's Richard doing? - You don't want to know. 336 00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:28,017 No, I really, really do. 337 00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:30,811 Well, he's doing terrible! 338 00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:34,565 Really? 339 00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:37,485 Worse than when he broke up with Barbara. 340 00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:43,199 - You're not just saying that, are you? - No, the man is a mess! 341 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:46,661 - Was he crying? - No. 342 00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:50,539 Do you think he was waiting till after you left, so he could cry? 343 00:20:50,707 --> 00:20:52,416 Maybe. 344 00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:55,544 I think so. 345 00:20:55,712 --> 00:20:58,923 Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your mom and me. 346 00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:02,927 You know, after we graduated from college, we broke up for a while. 347 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,638 It seems her father, your grandfather... 348 00:21:05,806 --> 00:21:08,432 ...wanted her to travel around Europe like he did. 349 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,352 Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel... 350 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:15,773 ...because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. 351 00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:17,024 However... 352 00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:00,609 Okay, here we go. 353 00:22:00,777 --> 00:22:03,946 I am Jabba's prisoner. And you... 354 00:22:04,614 --> 00:22:07,116 ...have a really weird look on your face. 355 00:22:07,284 --> 00:22:08,743 What? Honey, what is it? 356 00:22:08,910 --> 00:22:10,411 Did I get the hair wrong? 357 00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:13,039 Or what? Did you just picture it differently? What? 358 00:22:13,248 --> 00:22:17,043 No, no. It's, um... It's not you. It's, um... 359 00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:26,052 What is it? Come on, sweetie. You're, like, freaking me out here. 360 00:22:28,513 --> 00:22:31,307 I hate Chandler. The bastard ruined my life! 26509

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