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1
00:00:10,945 --> 00:00:12,778
Crowd:
Brock! Brock! Brock!
2
00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:17,516
Brock! Brock! Brock!
3
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,885
Jim: Hey, all right!
4
00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:21,753
All right.
That's very nice.
5
00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:25,791
My God, look at this sea
of Millennial faces. I am...
6
00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:28,193
Crowd: Yeah!
7
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:29,628
I'm terrified.
8
00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:31,197
Let's get right into it.
9
00:00:31,199 --> 00:00:34,333
I need a suggestion
for a monologue.
10
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:37,803
-The one that got away!
-The one that got at away.
11
00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:40,406
My God!
12
00:00:43,778 --> 00:00:46,878
Ooh!
13
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:50,149
Wow. You people
aren't kidding around tonight.
14
00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:52,584
So much has gotten away
from me lately.
15
00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:55,688
I mean, friends, family --
my father.
16
00:00:55,690 --> 00:00:58,491
Um, hard to narrow it down
to just one thing.
17
00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:01,961
Folks, you ever have something
18
00:01:01,963 --> 00:01:05,097
so pure, just so real...
19
00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:07,533
you almost felt like
you didn't even deserve it?
20
00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:09,501
Can you relate to that?
Crowd: Yeah.
21
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:12,505
For me,
that one thing...
22
00:01:12,507 --> 00:01:14,439
was Molly Malone.
23
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,712
Man: Yeah!
24
00:01:19,714 --> 00:01:21,713
Molly Malone
is a street name
25
00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:23,949
for the purest
MDMA in existence.
26
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:33,059
Yeah?
27
00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:36,028
Hi.
28
00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:38,263
Hi!
29
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,932
You know, I didn't
expect to see you here.
30
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,936
Or ever again,
really.
31
00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:45,671
I thought it'd be creepy
if I saw your show
32
00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:47,540
and then didn't come
say "hi" afterwards.
33
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:51,910
Right now, "creepy" doesn't
seem like such a bad thing.
34
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:53,612
No, wait, whoa! Oh.
What are you do--
35
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,147
why are you
in New Orleans?
36
00:01:55,149 --> 00:01:57,082
I have a layover.
I'm on my way to Colombia.
37
00:01:57,084 --> 00:01:59,017
I've been approached about
buying an ownership piece
38
00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:00,418
of a winter ball team
down there.
39
00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:02,420
My flight leaves at midnight.
-Midnight!
40
00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:04,489
Well, that's practically
tomorrow, isn't it?
41
00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:06,358
Come on, can --
Let's grab a drink.
42
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,160
-That's not a good idea.
-All right.
43
00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:10,495
Got other plans, huh?
-I do.
44
00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:12,764
The in-flight magazine said
that I can't leave New Orleans
45
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:15,534
without getting a beignet
from Cafe Du Monde.
Du Monde?!
46
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,836
No, that's overpriced
and overcrowded, Jules.
47
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:19,304
I know
where the locals go.
48
00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:21,473
Come on. Please.
It'll be my treat.
49
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,475
Don't you have
an after-party to go to?
50
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,777
After-party?
No, I don't.
51
00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:29,314
What, my life just seems
like one big party to you,
huh, from the outside?
52
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:32,851
I assure you, it's, uh --
it's very lonely, Jules.
53
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:34,253
So, we fucking?
54
00:02:34,255 --> 00:02:36,522
That was unfortunate timing
right there.
55
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:39,324
So, I'm gonna say goodbye.
-Fine. Let's go.
56
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:42,460
Really?
Don't give me time
to change my mind.
57
00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:44,996
-Um, hello?
-He'll fuck you tomorrow.
58
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:50,802
Jim: So, Jules, can I ask
what you're doing here?
59
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:52,104
Jules: I told you.
I have a layover.
60
00:02:52,106 --> 00:02:53,973
No, I mean
what are we doing here?
61
00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:57,876
Okay, can I tell you
why I'm here?
62
00:02:57,878 --> 00:03:00,479
Because I am desperate
to absorb any moment
63
00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:01,814
I can possibly get
with you,
64
00:03:01,816 --> 00:03:04,483
no matter how awkward
it might be.
65
00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:06,151
Kind of like the way
Johnny The Hat would wring
66
00:03:06,153 --> 00:03:08,219
the bar mat into his mouth
after last call.
67
00:03:08,221 --> 00:03:09,888
You...remember that?
68
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:13,024
The saddest part was he'd always
leave me a tip afterwards.
69
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,661
Just be honest with me.
Please.
70
00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:22,567
Okay, fine. I set up
a Google Alert for
"Jim Brockmire dead."
71
00:03:22,569 --> 00:03:24,570
Jesus Christ. Everybody I know
has one of those things.
72
00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:26,171
So, when I got the e-mail
with that headline,
73
00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:28,207
I felt terrible --
worse than when my dad died,
74
00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:29,908
'cause the last thing I said
to him was "I love you."
75
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:32,110
Last thing
I said to you...
76
00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:33,812
I don't remember exactly
what it I was, but it --
77
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:36,315
You said, "Back up," and then
you slammed the door in my face.
78
00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:38,116
Yeah.
So, for a second,
79
00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:41,220
I thought that was
our last moment together.
80
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:43,989
And I knew I had
to tell you something.
81
00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:47,458
I don't hate you.
82
00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:48,860
Boy, this is
a real roller coaster.
83
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:50,796
You're selfish,
and you did a selfish thing.
84
00:03:50,798 --> 00:03:53,332
I can hate the way you did it,
but I knew who you were.
85
00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:57,803
Okay. I mean,
that's progress, I guess.
86
00:03:57,805 --> 00:04:00,072
I mean, at least I am not
dead to you anymore.
87
00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:03,275
Life is too short to hold
that kind of grudge.
88
00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:06,011
Just ask these two.
-Oh, yeah.
89
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:10,415
You know why all the cemeteries
in New Orleans are above ground?
90
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,685
'Cause we're below
sea level here.
91
00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:14,285
If they actually
buried their dead,
92
00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:17,489
they'd find themselves
swimming in a river of corpses.
93
00:04:17,491 --> 00:04:22,494
These monuments, they all
house actual bones and --
and rotting flesh.
94
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:25,231
So, if I don't ask
for macabre New Orleans trivia,
95
00:04:25,233 --> 00:04:27,098
just assume I don't
want to hear it, okay?
96
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,367
Just trying to be
a good tour guide.
Yeah, well...
97
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,035
Seriously. No,
speaking of which,
98
00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:32,638
right down that road there
lies the bar
99
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,607
that invented
the French 75.
100
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,711
Well, I think of you
every time I go in there.
101
00:04:38,713 --> 00:04:41,446
I do, because for some
ridiculous reason, Jules,
102
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,048
that's your
favorite drink.
103
00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:45,251
Because it's like a white wine
spritzer without the shame.
104
00:04:45,253 --> 00:04:47,118
Oh, God,
there's so much shame.
105
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,923
-We have a new mascot.
-Ah.
106
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:54,126
It's an oil derrick now.
Derek the Derrick.
107
00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:56,729
Mm. Boy, you anthropomorphized
the very thing
108
00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:58,464
that will be the undoing
of the human race.
109
00:04:58,466 --> 00:05:00,466
That's --
That's a very nice touch.
110
00:05:00,468 --> 00:05:02,401
I thought so.
111
00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:05,404
And I started a
"When Harry Met Sally"
promo night --
112
00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:07,339
two-for-one drinks
if you fake an orgasm
113
00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:09,140
at the concession stand.
-Wow.
114
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:12,211
It's the "I'll have
what she's having."
115
00:05:12,213 --> 00:05:14,680
Nice, but I'm kind of glad
I missed that one.
116
00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:16,882
Not sure I could have
handled seeing Dale
117
00:05:16,884 --> 00:05:19,017
in the throes
of pleasure like that.
118
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:20,819
-Dale died.
-What?
119
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:22,821
-Yeah.
-Get out of here.
120
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:25,624
How'd he die?
He was so young.
Meth fire.
121
00:05:25,626 --> 00:05:27,359
Meth -- Yeah, well,
makes sense, doesn't it?
122
00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:29,294
You know,
I-I told him.
123
00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:31,563
I said, "You can cook meth
as a hobby
124
00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:33,165
or you can
siphon gasoline.
125
00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:35,301
You cannot do both."
-Yeah.
126
00:05:35,303 --> 00:05:37,102
-You seeing anybody?
-Nice segue.
127
00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:40,171
I know, I'm sorry.
I just -- I-I gotta know.
128
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,373
You know, it's all
I can think about
129
00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:43,375
since the moment
I saw you.
130
00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:46,044
I'm seeing a few people.
131
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:47,979
Not as many as you,
probably.
132
00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:50,115
Oh, no, no, no.
Wait a minute now.
133
00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:51,850
At first, I, uh...
134
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:54,186
dated attractive,
age-appropriate women
135
00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:56,255
as kind of a substitute
for you. I did.
136
00:05:57,925 --> 00:06:00,192
Desperately aping the magic
of our relationship
137
00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:02,327
like Woody Allen trying
to boil a lobster
138
00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:05,530
with whoever that
non-Annie-Hall-type person was.
139
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:07,532
Now, I just, uh...
140
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:10,668
I stick to the
one-night-stand groupie well.
141
00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:12,937
I mean, it's transactional,
but at least it's honest.
142
00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:14,672
You poor baby.
143
00:06:14,674 --> 00:06:16,741
So many women
jumping on your dick.
144
00:06:16,743 --> 00:06:18,676
It's not easy.
145
00:06:18,678 --> 00:06:20,678
Hey, I gotta get going.
My flight is --
146
00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,415
No, no-- Hey, no. Come on.
Don't get on that plane.
147
00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:26,384
Seriously, just...stay.
148
00:06:28,189 --> 00:06:29,921
Stay for what?
149
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,657
Jules, you haven't had
a beignet yet.
150
00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:33,892
No, you can't visit New Orleans
and not have a beignet.
151
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,694
That's like --
That's a slap in the face
152
00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:37,796
to the editors
of Delta Sky Magazine.
153
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:40,398
Okay.
Really?
154
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,633
Well, don't make me
overthink it.
155
00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:43,502
I'm pretty sure
I'm making a mistake.
156
00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:46,438
Well...
No, you're not.
157
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,974
Since I'm staying,
you can buy me another drink.
158
00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:57,449
This one's done.
159
00:06:57,451 --> 00:06:58,751
I really missed you.
160
00:07:02,288 --> 00:07:04,122
Hey, Pasquale.
Yo, how you doing?
161
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:06,457
Double for me, usual.
162
00:07:06,459 --> 00:07:08,527
Pint glass full
of White Zin for the lady.
163
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:09,727
You heard that right.
164
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:14,533
Kind of a regular here.
Don't like to brag.
165
00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:16,868
No, I know. You mentioned it
on your podcast.
166
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:18,136
This is where you like
to take a woman
167
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:19,871
when you really want
to impress her.
168
00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:22,073
-I did?
-I believe your exact words were
169
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,875
"put a napkin down
or it's gonna look like
170
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:27,146
there was a snail race
on that barstool."
171
00:07:27,148 --> 00:07:29,614
-Get out of here. I said that?
-Yeah, you did.
172
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,551
You broadcast it to anyone
who'd listen.
Oh, my goodness.
173
00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:35,020
Well, Ol' Blackout Jimmy is just
full of surprises, isn't he?
174
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:37,222
But you know, my --
Thank you, Pasquale.
175
00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:39,691
My takeaway from that story
is...
176
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:43,161
you're a regular listener
to my podcast.
177
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:46,164
I gotta have something to do
while I'm folding the laundry.
178
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:47,699
-Oh, don't we all.
-Hey, I gotta pee.
179
00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:50,035
Uh, I'm assuming you've had sex
in the ladies' room.
180
00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:51,970
-Oh, you know that I have.
-Is it gross?
181
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,638
-No, it's not bad at all.
-Oh.
182
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,240
Straight back
that way.
183
00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:57,842
-Thank you.
-Oh, sure. Enjoy.
184
00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:04,015
There you are.
I had a feeling
I'd find you here.
185
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:06,318
What are you
doing here?
Well, I came down
to let you know
186
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,454
that word's coming in
from Atlanta this weekend.
187
00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:11,455
-This weekend?
-Yeah.
188
00:08:11,457 --> 00:08:13,458
This weekend's almost over,
isn't it?
Exactly.
189
00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:16,361
And I'm pretty sure
no news is not good news.
190
00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:19,965
Right. Yeah, okay.
I'll see.
191
00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:22,668
-You gonna be okay?
-Yeah, Charles.
192
00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:25,070
You know, if Atlanta
doesn't happen, it...
193
00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:27,206
It wasn't meant to be.
-Okay.
194
00:08:27,208 --> 00:08:28,806
Okay.
195
00:08:28,808 --> 00:08:30,475
What's going on
with you?
196
00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:33,278
Nothing is going on with me.
What's going on with you?
197
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:36,347
- Hey! I missed you!
-Oh, my God!
198
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,283
-I missed you so much!
-This --
199
00:08:38,285 --> 00:08:39,750
This is great!
200
00:08:39,752 --> 00:08:41,220
It's like my parents
are getting back together.
201
00:08:41,222 --> 00:08:43,488
Except, you know, I actually
want this to happen.
202
00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:45,491
-Just relax.
-Where's your girlfriend?
203
00:08:45,493 --> 00:08:47,626
Girlfriend? This guy
doesn't have a girlfriend!
204
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:50,295
I had to bribe this guy
just to have sex with somebody.
205
00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:55,534
You know what it does have,
though, is someplace else to be.
206
00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:56,868
Right. Got it.
207
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,504
I'll leave you two
to catch up.
208
00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:02,507
It's happening!
-Nothing is happening!
209
00:09:02,509 --> 00:09:04,175
-Okay!
-Stop it.
210
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:05,577
I mean, something --
something's happening.
211
00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:07,312
I just don't want
to label it,
212
00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:09,247
because that will kill
what's happening...
whatever that is.
213
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:10,415
-Shut up.
-All right.
214
00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:12,183
Cheers.
215
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:17,122
You know what -- do you have --
you don't have saxophones?
216
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:26,397
Whoo!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
217
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:28,066
Is there, like,
another saxophone guy?
218
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,368
I will take two trumpets
if that's all you got.
219
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:31,803
Here. Cheers.
220
00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:46,417
Oh, yeah.
See, that's good.
221
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:47,886
You can taste the jazz!
222
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:55,226
Oh!
Oh, shit!
223
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:56,361
Oh, are you
all right?
224
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,496
-No!
-Oh, shit!
225
00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:00,932
God damn it! God!
226
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,034
How's that ankle doing?
Still smarting back there?
227
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:06,705
It hurts.
And my head hurts.
228
00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:09,107
Oh, are you sobering up?
No. Can't have that.
229
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,441
We gotta get you
another drink.
230
00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:13,579
I used to keep up
with you.
231
00:10:13,581 --> 00:10:16,447
What's happened?
-I...Oh!
232
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:19,384
Uh, I may not be
in the major leagues,
233
00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:22,320
but I've really upped my game
when it comes to my alcoholism.
234
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:23,855
Yeah, New Orleans
is --
235
00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:25,723
it's really the place
to go pro.
236
00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:29,127
And you know who has
an up-and-coming bar scene?
237
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,528
Morristown.
238
00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:32,663
Oh, yeah,
Morristown has its charms.
239
00:10:32,665 --> 00:10:34,733
It does.
-Mm-hmm.
240
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:37,869
Ooh, Jules, you know what night
I always think about?
Mmm, which one?
241
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:40,939
The time that
we drank Sambuca...
242
00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:43,675
...at home plate there.
-Oh, babe, me, too.
243
00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:45,543
But this time,
can we have sex in a bed,
244
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:47,145
'cause I don't want
to pick dirt
245
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,880
out of my ass crack
for two weeks.
246
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:51,149
I don't, either.
Sure thing! I'm gonna run.
247
00:10:56,390 --> 00:10:57,956
Wait a minute.
Wait, wait, wait.
248
00:10:59,226 --> 00:11:01,226
You just have this
hotel room all the time?
249
00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:03,428
Oh, yes, this is where
I take the strange
250
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:05,497
I don't want
to bring home.
251
00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:08,433
Charles can be a real judgy
little prick sometimes.
252
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:10,735
I see.
So, am I the strange?
253
00:11:10,737 --> 00:11:13,005
Oh, yes, you are. You're --
You are the strange.
254
00:11:13,007 --> 00:11:14,472
-Yes!
-Yeah, you are.
255
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,308
-Your slut.
256
00:11:16,310 --> 00:11:17,643
So...
257
00:11:17,645 --> 00:11:19,878
did you have
a-a good time tonight?
258
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,346
Are you kidding?
I'm in love.
259
00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:26,651
With New Orleans.
260
00:11:26,653 --> 00:11:28,787
-Please!
-Ugh.
261
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,321
No, well, I am, too.
262
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:33,458
God, you terrified me
there.
263
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:36,661
I mean, you know, it's nice to
finally find a home, you know,
264
00:11:36,663 --> 00:11:37,662
and...
265
00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:39,130
finally settle down.
266
00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:41,733
All it took was
the love of a good...
267
00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:43,468
city.
268
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:46,771
-I don't believe in a soul.
-Okay.
269
00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:49,140
I think it's just a delusion
that masks the fact
270
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:51,276
that we're all just
lumpy sacks of meat
271
00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:53,811
marching towards
our inevitable obsolescence.
272
00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:57,683
Can we dispense with
the graveyard play-by-play...?
Since I don't
believe in a soul,
273
00:11:57,685 --> 00:11:59,884
I can't say that I believe
in a soul mate, Jules.
274
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,219
But I'll tell you
something.
275
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,888
Uh, I do know
that the connection
276
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,925
that I feel between
the two of us --
I'm serious now --
277
00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:11,563
It's the most profound thing
I've ever known.
278
00:12:20,773 --> 00:12:23,374
I just messed it up,
didn't I?
279
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:24,910
-No.
-I did.
280
00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:28,112
No, I-I know
what you mean.
281
00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:29,847
Usually when someone
hurts me,
282
00:12:29,849 --> 00:12:33,918
I could cut them out of my life
like the tumor they are, but...
283
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,588
oh, with you, I can't.
284
00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:38,389
Okay, so to me,
you're a profound love,
285
00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:40,191
and to you, I'm a tumor?
-Yeah.
286
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:43,995
You're a tumor. Tumor I like.
Like a benign one.
287
00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:47,532
You know what?
I'll take it.
288
00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:49,934
At this point,
I'll take it.
289
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:53,337
Am I still the only
person you've ever had
sex with on home plate?
290
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:56,808
Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
291
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:59,743
Although Uribe and I did
jerk off on the pitcher's mound.
292
00:12:59,745 --> 00:13:01,579
-Now you ruined it.
293
00:13:01,581 --> 00:13:03,080
How about that beignet?
294
00:13:03,082 --> 00:13:06,217
Oh. I-I-I don't have
any clothes.
295
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:10,155
You spilled CuraƧao
all over my -- my --
my -- my shirt.
296
00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:12,490
You ripped my pants.
My bag is at the airport.
297
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:13,525
I mean--
-I got you covered.
298
00:13:13,527 --> 00:13:15,293
Why are there
so many bras?
299
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,496
Are women in that big
of a hurry to leave afterwards?
300
00:13:17,498 --> 00:13:20,699
Hey, my love life's kind of
like the airport TGI Fridays.
301
00:13:20,701 --> 00:13:22,934
It is all about
turning those tables.
302
00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:26,371
Look at this. I feel like
I'm in Filene's Basement.
303
00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:28,974
Oh, shit,
I've gotta take this.
304
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:30,708
Brockmire.
-It's Whitney.
305
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:33,478
Is this a good time?
-Well, uh, you tell me.
306
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:42,654
Hi. I was interested
in changing my flight.
307
00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:44,990
I have a flight tonight,
and I was wondering
308
00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:47,592
what your policy is
about getting reimbursed.
309
00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:49,594
I reviewed the data,
and, overwhelmingly,
310
00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:51,462
it seems like the greatest
benefit to the franchise
311
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:53,931
would be to go with Raj.
312
00:13:53,933 --> 00:13:55,600
Okay.
That's...
313
00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:58,737
pretty much what I figured.
-But I was overruled.
314
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,140
What?
315
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,544
My flight got canceled.
316
00:14:05,546 --> 00:14:07,045
My flight got canceled.
317
00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:11,149
Hey.
318
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:13,685
You're not gonna believe this,
but my flight got canceled.
319
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:14,952
Jules, I got it.
320
00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:18,490
I got the job! I am --
I'm going to Atlanta!
321
00:14:18,492 --> 00:14:21,293
Yeah!
-Wait, what?
322
00:14:23,161 --> 00:14:25,030
How is this possible?
323
00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:26,765
You never mentioned there was
a chance you were leaving.
324
00:14:26,767 --> 00:14:27,965
Jules, I didn't think
there was,
325
00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:29,367
but I gotta get to Atlanta
326
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:30,435
and press the flesh
of my benefactors.
327
00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:32,503
-When?
-Now.
328
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:35,106
You're meeting them
today?
Well, the meeting's
not till Wednesday,
329
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:36,607
but I'm taking
the next flight.
330
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,443
-Well, change it.
-Oh, Jules, I would love to.
331
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:40,645
No, I really would,
but, you know,
332
00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:42,513
I-I-I kind of like
to tool around a city
333
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:45,316
and get to know it for a couple
of days before I represent it.
334
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:47,752
I mean, you know...
kinda my process.
335
00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:49,654
Your process?
What are you, Basquiat?
336
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:50,989
You report things
that people
337
00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:52,623
can already see
with their own eyes.
338
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,492
Well, some people would say
there's kind of an art
339
00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:57,395
to what I do.
-I changed my flight for you!
340
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:58,863
You told me it was --
it was cancelled.
341
00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:00,932
I lied! Obviously!
342
00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:04,536
Jesus, just -- Yeah.
Call a taxi.
All right.
343
00:15:04,538 --> 00:15:06,337
No, no, no, no, no.
I'll -- I'll push my flight.
344
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:08,973
-Don't do me any favors.
-Ple-- I want to. I do.
345
00:15:08,975 --> 00:15:10,341
Of course,
I wanna push my flight, J--
346
00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:12,810
Hey, come on.
Please don't leave now.
347
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,017
Why not?
348
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:23,755
Well, beignets.
349
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:28,693
-What will it be?
-Two beignets,
350
00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:30,495
we know that for sure,
and...
351
00:15:30,497 --> 00:15:31,896
A chicory coffee.
352
00:15:31,898 --> 00:15:34,365
No, uh, regular.
Two regular coffees, please.
353
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:35,833
Allow me to explain.
354
00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:38,369
Um, chicory
was originally marketed
355
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:41,106
as kind of a filler
to make coffee go farther.
356
00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:43,507
It's kind of like
it's a dried up old beet root
357
00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:45,042
with absolutely
no caffeine in it.
358
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:47,712
Drinking chicory coffee
when regular coffee is available
359
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:52,116
is kind of like seeing
a bong full of fresh
Jack Herer and going,
360
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,851
"Nah, no, thanks.
I'll just, uh --
361
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:55,519
I'll take
that half-smoked spliff
362
00:15:55,521 --> 00:15:57,956
out of that ashtray
over there."
363
00:15:57,958 --> 00:16:00,724
-Do you ever shut up?
-I do not, no.
364
00:16:00,726 --> 00:16:04,262
But, hey, you knew that,
didn't you?
365
00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:06,531
-I'm such an idiot!
-No, you're not.
366
00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:08,332
You're not an idiot.
You didn't know.
367
00:16:08,334 --> 00:16:10,335
Chicory is real popular
around here.
368
00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:15,807
Jules!
369
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:21,813
What's up?
370
00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:29,554
I started thinking,
"I like it here, and...
371
00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:32,790
I like being with Jim."
372
00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:34,625
If I don't buy
into this team,
373
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:36,627
that's five months
during the off-season.
374
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:38,096
Maybe I could split
my time between --
375
00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:41,098
Well, yes. We --
Why can't we do that?
376
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:42,700
An hour ago,
it was New Orleans.
377
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,502
Now it's Atlanta. What's it
gonna be in six months?
378
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:47,438
I can't just follow you around!
-Why not?
379
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,008
Jules, I am...
I am very delightful.
380
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:53,111
I have a life in Morristown,
in case you forgot.
No, I know.
381
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:54,579
I know better than
to ask you to leave there.
382
00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:56,247
But, look, Jules --
-Then what are you saying?
383
00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:59,316
I am saying I've been
doing some thinking, too.
384
00:16:59,318 --> 00:17:02,186
Tonight was amazing.
I mean, it was just --
385
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:04,188
Right? It was unbelievable.
386
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,790
Why can't we meet up
once a month
387
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:07,458
at one of my road games?
388
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:10,127
Could be in Miami or St. Louis,
Cincinnati, wherever.
389
00:17:10,129 --> 00:17:12,129
The point is, it will be
a night just like tonight,
390
00:17:12,131 --> 00:17:14,131
we'll be two people,
we won't know anybody.
391
00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:15,734
We'll be free
to just explore a new city.
392
00:17:15,736 --> 00:17:18,469
We can just drink
and dance and just...
393
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,271
screw and...
394
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,707
We can just --
We can disappear, Jules.
395
00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:28,413
So, a bender?
396
00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:31,282
No, okay, yes -- no.
But, yes, all right.
397
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:33,050
Well, just think about it,
just for a second.
398
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,286
All highs, no lows.
Right?
399
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:38,023
We'll never have to fight over
who empties the dishwasher
400
00:17:38,025 --> 00:17:39,557
or pick up
each other's dry cleaning
401
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:42,427
or ask each other,
"How was your day, hon?"
402
00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:43,628
Jules, I'll never
have to pretend
403
00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:45,230
that I didn't
just hear you fart.
404
00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:47,298
Okay, think about that.
No, wait -- no, really!
405
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,434
We just cut out all
the mundane bullshit
406
00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:52,470
and get right to
the perfect relationship.
407
00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:58,809
The "mundane bullshit"
is a relationship.
408
00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:00,978
Yeah, but I know, but why settle
for that when we can --
409
00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:05,583
you know, we can make up
our own rules!
Because I'd
still be settling.
410
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,151
I want someone to have
a night like tonight with
411
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:09,119
who'll also be there
when I wake up in the morning.
412
00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:10,621
I want to have adventures
with someone,
413
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:13,458
but I also want someone
to pay the bills with and...
414
00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:14,926
go grocery shopping
415
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:17,528
and tell me when it's time
to wash my smelly jeans.
416
00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:20,197
And I deserve all that.
-Jules, you do.
417
00:18:20,199 --> 00:18:22,934
Dear God, you do.
418
00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:26,938
It's all I can offer you
right now, though.
419
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:30,475
You have a choice, and you're
not choosing me -- again!
420
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:33,611
Come on. That's a very harsh way
to put it.
421
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:35,947
What are you doing?
I was gonna take you
to the airport.
422
00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:39,284
I won't subject you
to that mundane shit, hon.
423
00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:44,522
Your beignets
are ready.
424
00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:29,600
Hey.
425
00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:32,336
I'll have what he's having.
-What?
426
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:34,539
It's a callback,
asshole.
427
00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:36,440
Give me
a Sazerac, neat.
428
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:45,083
Well, everybody, I want you
to enjoy yourselves!
429
00:19:45,085 --> 00:19:47,285
Soak up every last moment
of New Orleans
430
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:49,287
that you possibly can.
Why?
431
00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:52,089
Because the sea levels,
they are rising faster
432
00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:55,293
than even the most dire
predictions, and nobody,
433
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:59,297
and I mean nobody in power
seems to give a shit about that.
434
00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:01,566
Two generations. Two.
435
00:20:01,568 --> 00:20:04,101
All the above-ground cemeteries,
they're gonna be underwater.
436
00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:07,438
So, uh...yeah, we're all
just playing a fiddle
437
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,974
while Rome drowns,
aren't we?
438
00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:11,842
So salud.
439
00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:18,315
What's so funny
down there?
440
00:20:18,317 --> 00:20:20,718
Oh, nothing, Al Gore.
441
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,988
Thanks for
the climate-change lecture.
442
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:25,956
I'll be sure
to buy a Prius.
443
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:27,525
Not saying we should
try to stop it.
444
00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:30,795
I'm saying we should embrace it.
Just embrace the futility.
445
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:36,600
You sound like a junior-high kid
who just discovered Nietzsche.
446
00:20:36,602 --> 00:20:39,904
Yeah, well, it's not my first
nihilist rodeo, I assure you.
447
00:20:45,011 --> 00:20:50,648
So you really think
our actions are meaningless?
448
00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:52,883
That...
449
00:20:52,885 --> 00:20:55,019
consequences
don't matter?
450
00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:59,624
Prove it.
451
00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:01,326
And how would you
like me to do that?
452
00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:08,032
-Oh, shit!
453
00:21:12,572 --> 00:21:16,440
-What the hell are you doing?!
-Looking for my Tide Pen.
454
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,442
Jesus Christ!
455
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:21,312
When you're really ready to go
down the rabbit hole,
456
00:21:21,314 --> 00:21:23,514
call me.
457
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:25,516
All right, okay.
458
00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:26,851
Shit.
459
00:21:31,391 --> 00:21:33,924
Are you --
Are you all right?
460
00:21:33,926 --> 00:21:35,726
Mm-hmm.
35199
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