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Previously on
Rules of Engagement
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00:00:02,550 --> 00:00:03,570
what are you saying?
3
00:00:03,810 --> 00:00:06,480
I... I'm saying
that I'll be your surrogate.
4
00:00:06,650 --> 00:00:07,810
Yeah, if you want.
5
00:00:07,990 --> 00:00:09,310
Are you serious?
6
00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:13,270
Put your baby in me.
7
00:00:13,270 --> 00:00:14,570
Excuse me.
8
00:00:14,570 --> 00:00:16,470
I'm who they're putting
it in, so.
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00:00:18,570 --> 00:00:21,640
You, saddle up, and
get this right the first time.
10
00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:29,150
Mm, I just
know you're pregnant.
11
00:00:29,150 --> 00:00:30,820
I really think
we nailed it this time.
12
00:00:30,820 --> 00:00:33,420
Could be, I'm already
feeling a little nauseous.
13
00:00:33,420 --> 00:00:35,320
Yeah, well,
listening to Jeff peeing
14
00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:36,960
is making me nauseous too.
15
00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:39,120
Hey, come on.
Brenda's gotta take the test.
16
00:00:39,130 --> 00:00:41,430
Hurry up, seabiscuit.
17
00:00:41,430 --> 00:00:42,560
Finally.
18
00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:44,730
I saved time
by not washing my hands.
19
00:00:44,730 --> 00:00:48,230
Ugh.
20
00:00:48,230 --> 00:00:49,400
Oh.
21
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:52,600
Wow, you didn't
save any time by aiming.
22
00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:55,470
All right,
let me see, let me see.
23
00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:57,910
Gross.
24
00:00:57,910 --> 00:00:59,340
Oh, something's happening.
25
00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:00,450
What...
26
00:01:00,450 --> 00:01:01,610
What's a red line?
27
00:01:01,610 --> 00:01:04,320
A red line...
Is a baby.
28
00:01:04,320 --> 00:01:07,490
Agh!
It's a baby, Jeff!
29
00:01:07,490 --> 00:01:11,490
We made a baby!
Oh, my God!
30
00:01:11,490 --> 00:01:14,560
Feel free to keep that going.
31
00:01:16,230 --> 00:01:18,100
Really?
Now?
32
00:01:18,100 --> 00:01:21,370
Is there a bad time
for girl on girl?
33
00:01:22,770 --> 00:01:24,870
Can we please not
have your creepy perversion
34
00:01:24,870 --> 00:01:27,010
be part of this?
Fine.
35
00:01:27,010 --> 00:01:28,870
Okay, now
I know we're all excited,
36
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,780
but we don't
actually know for sure.
37
00:01:30,780 --> 00:01:32,280
So let's just keep this
between ourselves
38
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:34,380
until we see the doctor.
Agreed.
39
00:01:34,380 --> 00:01:37,280
Cheers!
40
00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:42,050
Way to go, aud, you made it
a whole 28 minutes.
41
00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:43,560
Jen said
"what's up, aud?"
42
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:46,430
What was I gonna do,
lie to her face?
43
00:01:46,430 --> 00:01:48,130
Congratulations,
you're gonna be a dad.
44
00:01:49,330 --> 00:01:52,130
No sleep, no peace,
no sex, no money...
45
00:01:52,130 --> 00:01:54,300
Your life's officially over.
46
00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:57,640
Well, that might be true,
but I'm having a kid.
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00:01:57,640 --> 00:01:59,810
And you're gonna die alone.
48
00:01:59,810 --> 00:02:03,080
All right, fun's over.
49
00:02:30,740 --> 00:02:32,080
Hey, Jeff.
50
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:33,340
You wanna know
what you should order?
51
00:02:33,340 --> 00:02:35,150
- No.
- Why not?
52
00:02:35,150 --> 00:02:37,150
'Cause it'll be stupid.
53
00:02:37,150 --> 00:02:38,320
No, check it out.
54
00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,680
Okay, it's
a breakfast sandwich, right?
55
00:02:40,690 --> 00:02:42,750
But with waffles
instead of bread.
56
00:02:42,750 --> 00:02:44,590
It's for better gripping.
57
00:02:44,590 --> 00:02:47,360
See?
58
00:02:49,030 --> 00:02:51,460
Speaking of stupid,
how's the pregnancy going?
59
00:02:51,460 --> 00:02:54,000
- So far, so good.
- Oh yeah?
60
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,470
You're lucky, that stuff
can get rough.
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00:02:56,470 --> 00:02:58,030
What do you know about it?
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00:02:58,040 --> 00:02:59,370
'Cause a girl I was seeing once
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00:02:59,370 --> 00:03:00,700
thought she was pregnant.
64
00:03:00,710 --> 00:03:04,470
Ugh, the sleepless nights,
the crying, the throwing up.
65
00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:07,240
She was pretty
upset about it too.
66
00:03:07,250 --> 00:03:10,050
In my case, Audrey's
not the one who's pregnant.
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00:03:10,050 --> 00:03:12,250
Brenda is.
So my wife can still drink.
68
00:03:12,250 --> 00:03:14,420
Which helps her
make the bad decision
69
00:03:14,420 --> 00:03:16,320
to sleep with me.
70
00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:18,320
That's all a benefit
of using a surrogate.
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00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:19,320
That's why I'm doing it.
72
00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:20,720
No, I thought it was because
73
00:03:20,730 --> 00:03:22,790
you had,
like, super-slow sperm.
74
00:03:22,790 --> 00:03:25,100
Yeah, and I thought
it was so Audrey
75
00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:28,830
wouldn't get
all messed up down South.
76
00:03:28,830 --> 00:03:31,530
Looks like once again,
I beat the system.
77
00:03:31,540 --> 00:03:33,270
When did you beat it before?
78
00:03:33,270 --> 00:03:34,470
1993.
79
00:03:34,470 --> 00:03:35,610
I had a rental car for a week
80
00:03:35,610 --> 00:03:39,440
and they only charged
me five days.
81
00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:44,010
Disney world really is
the happiest place on earth.
82
00:03:44,020 --> 00:03:45,480
- Hey.
- Hey.
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00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:46,920
Oh, hey.
There she is.
84
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:48,950
I was thinking maybe later
we go over to mcsweeney's,
85
00:03:48,950 --> 00:03:50,520
catch the mets game.
86
00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:52,260
Yeah, right.
Like I'm gonna sit
87
00:03:52,260 --> 00:03:56,290
next to you sober, in a bar
that smells like armpit.
88
00:03:56,290 --> 00:03:57,630
Only to then find out
89
00:03:57,630 --> 00:04:00,960
it isn't the bar
that smells like armpit.
90
00:04:02,530 --> 00:04:03,900
Well, uh...
91
00:04:03,900 --> 00:04:06,970
Well, Jeff,
I've been barfing all morning.
92
00:04:06,970 --> 00:04:09,410
And then... because I wasn't
already miserable enough...
93
00:04:09,410 --> 00:04:13,240
My idiot neighbor set off
a bug bomb in their apartment.
94
00:04:14,710 --> 00:04:16,810
Are you crying?
95
00:04:16,810 --> 00:04:20,620
Are you a moron?
96
00:04:20,620 --> 00:04:22,020
Thanks a lot, Jeff.
97
00:04:22,020 --> 00:04:24,960
You've turned me
into a freaking girl.
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00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,720
All right.
I know what can help.
99
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:28,120
How about I buy you
some breakfast?
100
00:04:28,130 --> 00:04:30,230
Oh, yeah, that's
just what I need, jackass,
101
00:04:30,230 --> 00:04:33,100
more of your eggs in me.
102
00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:35,700
Oh, God, I think
I'm gonna be sick.
103
00:04:37,030 --> 00:04:40,270
Looks like the system's
still got some fight in it.
104
00:04:45,510 --> 00:04:47,740
And why, you ask?
105
00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:51,350
Because the waffles
provide a superior grip.
106
00:04:51,350 --> 00:04:53,720
What, have you been
dropping a lot of sandwiches?
107
00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:56,990
Well, I mean, enough to
wanna do something about it.
108
00:04:58,660 --> 00:05:00,860
Ah, Jennifer.
So nice to see you here.
109
00:05:00,860 --> 00:05:02,890
Oh, I just had to get
out of the apartment.
110
00:05:02,890 --> 00:05:04,560
I've been knee-deep
in planning the wedding.
111
00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:05,830
There is so much to do.
112
00:05:05,830 --> 00:05:07,860
Yeah, and Jen doesn't like
any of my suggestions.
113
00:05:07,870 --> 00:05:10,700
His last one was a petting zoo.
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00:05:10,700 --> 00:05:12,800
To celebrate our love.
115
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,970
Yes, because
nothing says "I love you"
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00:05:14,970 --> 00:05:17,370
like walking around
in goat pooh.
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00:05:17,380 --> 00:05:18,410
Mm.
118
00:05:18,410 --> 00:05:20,010
You know, Jennifer,
in a former life,
119
00:05:20,010 --> 00:05:21,540
I was an assistant
to an event planner.
120
00:05:21,550 --> 00:05:24,450
Oh, you remember
your past life?
121
00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:27,280
That's amazing.
122
00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:30,790
Was I there?
123
00:05:30,790 --> 00:05:33,620
No, no,
I was referring to my life
124
00:05:33,620 --> 00:05:34,790
before I met Mr. dunbar
125
00:05:34,790 --> 00:05:38,130
and began my career
as Satan's wet nurse.
126
00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:39,400
You know, there's
wedding planning software
127
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:40,560
that can be very helpful.
128
00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,170
I could help you
set it up, if you'd like.
129
00:05:42,170 --> 00:05:43,270
Oh, that would be great.
130
00:05:43,270 --> 00:05:44,630
What about tonight after work?
131
00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:47,200
Oh, I can do it right now.
132
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:48,570
It's the middle of the day,
133
00:05:48,570 --> 00:05:49,970
won't Russell know you're gone?
134
00:05:49,970 --> 00:05:53,180
No, not if I bring in
my replacement.
135
00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:01,020
You can't tell me
that actually works.
136
00:06:01,020 --> 00:06:02,790
Ah, it began
as an act of rebellion.
137
00:06:02,790 --> 00:06:06,420
I wanted to show Mr. dunbar what
it would be like without me.
138
00:06:06,420 --> 00:06:08,430
Apparently, it would be
largely the same.
139
00:06:08,430 --> 00:06:12,330
Oh, well, let's go.
Yeah, let's.
140
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:15,500
He keeps looking at me.
141
00:06:17,170 --> 00:06:19,240
Hey, Timmy, I'm gonna take
a little nappy-nap.
142
00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:22,510
No calls.
N-n-n...None.
143
00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:31,210
- Hey.
- Hey.
144
00:06:31,220 --> 00:06:32,680
I just got off
the phone with Brenda.
145
00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:36,190
Oh, the pregnant lunatic
go off on you too?
146
00:06:36,190 --> 00:06:37,750
What?
147
00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:40,920
I've never seen her
so unreasonable and cranky.
148
00:06:40,930 --> 00:06:43,890
She was being pretty wifey.
149
00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:48,230
Wifey?
150
00:06:48,230 --> 00:06:49,970
You know what I mean.
151
00:06:49,970 --> 00:06:52,100
Yes, I know what you mean.
152
00:06:52,100 --> 00:06:54,340
And you're being pretty
selfish and insensitive.
153
00:06:54,340 --> 00:06:55,870
Or should
I say "husbandy?"
154
00:06:55,870 --> 00:06:57,110
Ooh.
155
00:06:57,110 --> 00:06:59,040
That was a little uncalled for.
156
00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:00,480
Hey, why are we arguing here?
157
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:03,750
Because you walked
into the apartment and spoke.
158
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:08,050
Look, we're on
the same team here.
159
00:07:08,050 --> 00:07:10,090
All right, we get to be
on the sidelines having fun
160
00:07:10,090 --> 00:07:13,620
while our baby caddy
does all the heavy lifting.
161
00:07:13,620 --> 00:07:15,390
What is your problem?
162
00:07:15,390 --> 00:07:16,890
I don't wanna be on
the sidelines,
163
00:07:16,890 --> 00:07:19,300
I want to be involved.
And you should too.
164
00:07:19,300 --> 00:07:21,400
For once in your life,
don't be so selfish.
165
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,800
Or...
166
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,100
You be selfish with me.
167
00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:28,100
How about I take you out
for a big night on the town?
168
00:07:28,110 --> 00:07:30,310
Huh. Let's crack open
that coupon book
169
00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:32,610
that we bought
from that cub scout.
170
00:07:32,610 --> 00:07:34,680
No, I am going over
to help Brenda.
171
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,310
You wanna go out,
go by yourself.
172
00:07:36,310 --> 00:07:39,350
Ah, I'm not going without you.
173
00:07:39,350 --> 00:07:42,590
Most of these are two for one.
174
00:07:45,660 --> 00:07:48,760
Audrey's almost as bad
as Brenda now.
175
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:51,090
Oh, really?
So now you got nowhere to turn.
176
00:07:51,100 --> 00:07:52,960
It's like I'm going up
against tag team wrestlers.
177
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,130
You try to pin one,
the other sneaks up behind you
178
00:07:55,130 --> 00:07:58,470
and brains you
with a folding chair.
179
00:07:58,470 --> 00:08:00,400
Well, I'd tell you
how I'd handle your problem,
180
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,470
but I'm sure you don't
wanna hear what I have to say.
181
00:08:02,470 --> 00:08:05,580
Thanks, buddy.
I appreciate that.
182
00:08:05,580 --> 00:08:07,980
Oh, no, my sandwich
slipped out of my hands!
183
00:08:07,980 --> 00:08:11,610
- Really?
- No.
184
00:08:11,620 --> 00:08:13,550
I feel for you buddy, but...
185
00:08:13,550 --> 00:08:14,620
Just tap out?
186
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:16,590
No, I got this.
187
00:08:16,590 --> 00:08:19,120
I know exactly what to do
when Audrey gets like this.
188
00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:20,660
I'm sorry, aud,
I'm gonna be home
189
00:08:20,660 --> 00:08:22,430
a little bit later
than usual tonight.
190
00:08:22,430 --> 00:08:26,700
I got a lot of paperwork
I gotta get through.
191
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:33,000
Bingham for the win!
192
00:08:34,740 --> 00:08:38,070
Let's focus on
the ones I did make.
193
00:08:40,580 --> 00:08:43,310
Now the wedding software
does a lot of the work.
194
00:08:43,310 --> 00:08:45,110
For instance, if you input
your zip code,
195
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:46,950
it brings up links
to local florists.
196
00:08:46,950 --> 00:08:48,790
What sort of flowers
were you thinking about?
197
00:08:48,790 --> 00:08:51,960
Oh, well, I've always
liked white roses.
198
00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:54,560
White roses, hmm.
199
00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:56,130
Is something wrong?
200
00:08:56,130 --> 00:08:58,930
No, no, no, it's a
classic and elegant choice.
201
00:08:58,930 --> 00:09:00,400
What, you can tell me.
Be honest.
202
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,970
Okay. Are we
planning a wedding here,
203
00:09:02,970 --> 00:09:06,770
or some sort of
backwards junior prom?
204
00:09:06,770 --> 00:09:09,070
Wow.
Okay, what would you suggest?
205
00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:10,440
Here's a thought.
206
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,380
What if you went
with seasonal wildflowers?
207
00:09:12,380 --> 00:09:13,640
Which you could
easily integrate into both
208
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,610
your bridal bouquets
and your centerpieces?
209
00:09:15,610 --> 00:09:17,180
- Oh, I love that!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
210
00:09:17,180 --> 00:09:19,020
And after the ceremony, we
can feed them to the animals...
211
00:09:19,020 --> 00:09:20,980
There's no petting zoo.
212
00:09:20,990 --> 00:09:23,090
You put
a bulls-eye on this
213
00:09:23,090 --> 00:09:25,620
from the moment I mentioned it.
214
00:09:25,620 --> 00:09:28,860
Just remember,
this is my big day too.
215
00:09:38,070 --> 00:09:41,040
Ah.
You're home.
216
00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:43,410
Had to happen.
217
00:09:43,410 --> 00:09:45,710
What exactly were you
working on so late?
218
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:48,180
Oh, damned Anderson account.
219
00:09:48,180 --> 00:09:49,880
I thought you said
it was the Jenkins file.
220
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:53,920
The Jenkins-Anderson
merger, keep up.
221
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:55,120
How are things going?
222
00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:56,720
Brenda's feeling
worse and worse,
223
00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,120
and I'm freaking out trying
to make her comfortable.
224
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,060
- I'm so sorry.
- Yeah, well, forget about it.
225
00:10:01,060 --> 00:10:03,190
I've given up on you
being helpful.
226
00:10:03,190 --> 00:10:04,990
I appreciate that, hon.
227
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,700
Just this pregnancy
is hitting us pretty fast.
228
00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:10,000
And you know me,
229
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,300
I'm kind of
a creature of habit, and I...
230
00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:15,410
Hey, thanks for letting me
stay here for a while.
231
00:10:15,410 --> 00:10:18,610
I don't like change.
232
00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:28,360
So this is a thing?
Brenda's staying here now?
233
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:31,630
No, Jeff, I just
stopped by to model my robe.
234
00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:36,230
Can I go
stay at her place, or...?
235
00:10:38,030 --> 00:10:40,200
No, Jeff.
You stay here.
236
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,740
She had to get away from
237
00:10:41,740 --> 00:10:43,670
the bug bomb fumes
in her building.
238
00:10:43,670 --> 00:10:45,840
Plus this way, we can help
take care of her.
239
00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:47,040
Okay.
240
00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:48,840
On a completely unrelated note,
241
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:51,350
I need all of our beer.
242
00:10:51,350 --> 00:10:54,580
Oh, my God.
Jeff, your feet!
243
00:10:54,580 --> 00:10:56,150
Oh, I'm totally
gonna be sick again.
244
00:10:56,150 --> 00:10:58,690
Oh, great!
Look what you did!
245
00:10:58,690 --> 00:11:00,860
All I did was
walk into my home.
246
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:03,460
You know what your feet
are like at the end of the day.
247
00:11:03,460 --> 00:11:05,230
Seriously, I think that's why
248
00:11:05,230 --> 00:11:07,400
we don't have any cockroaches.
249
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,430
On second thought,
I need all of our scotch.
250
00:11:09,430 --> 00:11:11,700
No. Not now.
251
00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:13,070
I need you to go to the store
252
00:11:13,070 --> 00:11:14,600
and pick up some ginger ale.
253
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:17,470
Nah, I'll just
drink it straight.
254
00:11:17,470 --> 00:11:19,740
For Brenda.
And saltines too.
255
00:11:19,740 --> 00:11:21,140
It's the end of the day
256
00:11:21,140 --> 00:11:22,380
and my shoes are off,
257
00:11:22,380 --> 00:11:25,910
and my pants are
on the on-deck circle.
258
00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:28,180
Come on, Jeff.
259
00:11:28,180 --> 00:11:31,390
Can you at least
do one helpful thing?
260
00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:32,990
All right.
Just one.
261
00:11:32,990 --> 00:11:35,520
Thank you.
262
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:36,930
God, my head is killing me.
263
00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:38,430
Can you get me
something for a headache?
264
00:11:38,430 --> 00:11:40,360
- Okay.
- Ugh.
265
00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:43,500
But not aspirin.
Ibuprofen.
266
00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:46,330
And not the P.M. kind,
just the regular kind.
267
00:11:46,340 --> 00:11:47,900
Oh, and don't get the caplets,
268
00:11:47,900 --> 00:11:50,540
get the tablets
with the special coating.
269
00:11:50,540 --> 00:11:52,010
Agh.
270
00:11:57,250 --> 00:12:00,450
Touche, system.
271
00:12:03,750 --> 00:12:05,820
No, you're not listening to me.
272
00:12:05,820 --> 00:12:08,290
I just think that people
would prefer a buffet.
273
00:12:08,290 --> 00:12:10,290
People lining up with plates?
274
00:12:10,290 --> 00:12:12,430
- What is wrong with that?
- Oh, nothing at all.
275
00:12:12,430 --> 00:12:14,460
Perhaps after chow time,
we can give the guests
276
00:12:14,460 --> 00:12:16,200
ten minutes
to lift weights in the yard.
277
00:12:18,030 --> 00:12:21,300
Jeez, I should've
hired cardboard Timmy.
278
00:12:23,670 --> 00:12:26,640
Oh! And now
I've got an oompa-loompa.
279
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:29,210
You mean a hard worker
with a solid base tan
280
00:12:29,210 --> 00:12:31,450
and a talent
for improvisational song?
281
00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:33,350
Guilty!
282
00:12:33,350 --> 00:12:34,620
Ah, there you are.
283
00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:37,550
I knew that wasn't you
at your desk.
284
00:12:37,550 --> 00:12:39,550
But you weren't
completely certain
285
00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:41,060
until you saw me sitting here.
286
00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:42,820
Savvy detective work, sir.
287
00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:44,360
What are you doing here anyway?
288
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:46,430
Helping Jennifer plan
her wedding.
289
00:12:46,430 --> 00:12:48,900
That's why you left
in the middle of the day for?
290
00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:51,300
Unprofessional.
291
00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:52,670
All right, let's go.
292
00:12:52,670 --> 00:12:53,970
You gotta come
to the club with me
293
00:12:53,970 --> 00:12:57,740
and be
my weiner blocker blocker.
294
00:12:57,740 --> 00:13:00,410
As soul-enriching
as that sounds,
295
00:13:00,410 --> 00:13:02,910
I'll meet you there
once I'm done here.
296
00:13:02,910 --> 00:13:05,150
I'll just wait.
297
00:13:05,150 --> 00:13:07,420
All right... why don't
you guys just go ahead?
298
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:08,920
I got it from here, Timmy.
299
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:09,980
All due respect,
300
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:12,390
I don't think that
you do "got it."
301
00:13:12,390 --> 00:13:14,560
Just moments ago,
you suggested we hire a dj
302
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,590
who calls himself
"vinyl Richie."
303
00:13:17,660 --> 00:13:20,700
Dj p.U.
304
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:23,770
And what exactly would you know
305
00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,270
about putting on a wedding?
306
00:13:25,270 --> 00:13:27,970
Both of my parents have
been married numerous times,
307
00:13:27,970 --> 00:13:30,240
often I was invited.
308
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:33,480
What this wedding needs
is a photo booth.
309
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,040
Might that not be a bit cheesy?
310
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,080
Not cheesy, Tim.
Whimsical.
311
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,680
People like a nice memento.
312
00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:40,010
Does anyone care what I think?
313
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:41,820
Maybe you're right
about that photo booth.
314
00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:43,590
It could go right next
to the bar.
315
00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:45,350
Right, then the girls
can get all liquored up,
316
00:13:45,350 --> 00:13:47,460
then increasing
our chances of nip slips.
317
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:48,760
Now let's talk centerpieces.
318
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:51,990
- Good, I'm thinking...
- Origami!
319
00:13:53,860 --> 00:13:55,430
Forget it.
320
00:13:55,430 --> 00:13:57,070
Jen, wait.
321
00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:58,970
I heard you when you asked
if we cared what you thought.
322
00:13:58,970 --> 00:14:01,370
- You did?
- Yeah, and we don't.
323
00:14:11,950 --> 00:14:14,150
Hey, Jeff.
I thought that was you.
324
00:14:14,150 --> 00:14:15,620
- Hey, buddy.
- Hey, man.
325
00:14:15,620 --> 00:14:17,850
Um...
326
00:14:17,850 --> 00:14:20,560
I don't think you're
allowed to drink in here.
327
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,390
I know, I'm hoping
to get arrested
328
00:14:22,390 --> 00:14:25,030
so I don't have to go home.
329
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:28,500
But I'll tell you, having
your wife bring home a lesbian
330
00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:32,400
does not play out the way
cinemax would have you believe.
331
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:34,040
I don't really
wanna go home either.
332
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,170
I mean, Timmy and Jen
are planning our wedding
333
00:14:36,170 --> 00:14:38,240
and ignoring me.
334
00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:40,910
No petting zoo?
335
00:14:40,910 --> 00:14:44,380
It's not looking good.
336
00:14:44,380 --> 00:14:46,050
Anyways, Audrey wants ibuprofen
337
00:14:46,050 --> 00:14:47,050
with the special coating.
338
00:14:47,050 --> 00:14:49,280
God forbid
her majesty, the queen,
339
00:14:49,290 --> 00:14:52,290
has to choke down
a chalky tablet.
340
00:14:52,290 --> 00:14:55,060
But why don't you
buy her the wrong thing?
341
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:56,120
That's what I do.
342
00:14:56,130 --> 00:14:58,890
Why?
343
00:14:58,890 --> 00:15:01,460
Well...
344
00:15:01,460 --> 00:15:03,100
When Jen's in a bad mood
345
00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:04,800
and I bring home
the wrong thing,
346
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:07,400
she sends me back out
to get her the right thing.
347
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:11,310
Which means I get twice
as much time away from home.
348
00:15:11,310 --> 00:15:15,240
Your brain came up with that?
349
00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:16,610
Yes, I know.
350
00:15:16,610 --> 00:15:19,780
That could work.
All right.
351
00:15:19,780 --> 00:15:23,080
Adios, fancy coating.
We shall meet again.
352
00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:24,290
That's a good idea, pal.
353
00:15:24,290 --> 00:15:27,190
Smart.
Thank you.
354
00:15:27,190 --> 00:15:30,060
You know, I did it
accidentally a few times
355
00:15:30,060 --> 00:15:33,760
before I realized that
I could do it on purpose.
356
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,230
It started when Jen...
Listen,
357
00:15:35,230 --> 00:15:36,760
I said that it was a good idea.
358
00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:39,530
I don't need
all the DVD extras.
359
00:15:41,570 --> 00:15:43,710
For napkin colors,
we had a tough time choosing
360
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,840
between fuchsia kiss...
Or foxy pink.
361
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,440
- But...
- Timmy pointed out
362
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:49,510
that foxy pink will
really make the flowers
363
00:15:49,510 --> 00:15:50,950
in the table lamps pop.
364
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,450
To which,
Mr. dunbar agreed...
365
00:15:52,450 --> 00:15:53,650
After first pantomiming me
366
00:15:53,650 --> 00:15:55,420
in a spirited sexual act
with a man.
367
00:15:55,420 --> 00:15:56,990
Right.
And for dessert,
368
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:58,490
we went a little bit
outside the box
369
00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:00,320
with a cupcake tower.
Mm.
370
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,220
Just the right level of
playful festivity, we think.
371
00:16:02,220 --> 00:16:05,160
And in that same spirit,
we revisited your '80s dj idea.
372
00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:08,000
Yes, the '80s being the decade
just after the decade
373
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,730
in which Mr. dunbar's haircut
was last considered stylish.
374
00:16:10,730 --> 00:16:13,430
Mm, it's not current,
but I do get tons.
375
00:16:15,170 --> 00:16:17,970
And that's our presentation.
376
00:16:17,970 --> 00:16:19,470
Wow.
377
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,740
Uh, it's not really
what I imagined.
378
00:16:21,740 --> 00:16:24,950
But I love it!
I wouldn't change a thing.
379
00:16:24,950 --> 00:16:25,980
Well, we aim to please.
380
00:16:25,980 --> 00:16:27,620
How much is it gonna cost?
381
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:28,880
Ah.
382
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:32,020
Here's where the software
can be so helpful.
383
00:16:32,020 --> 00:16:34,660
And the grand total comes to...
384
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:37,860
$360,000.
385
00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:46,100
We'll see ourselves out.
386
00:16:49,770 --> 00:16:52,370
got your stuff.
What took you so long?
387
00:16:52,370 --> 00:16:54,280
What, are you waiting
for it to go on sale?
388
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:55,780
Or did the manager
think you were trying
389
00:16:55,780 --> 00:16:59,150
to smuggle out
a ham in your giant head?
390
00:16:59,150 --> 00:17:03,450
There's my girls.
391
00:17:03,450 --> 00:17:06,620
Can I have the ibuprofen?
392
00:17:08,890 --> 00:17:10,690
Something wrong?
393
00:17:10,690 --> 00:17:12,130
These are gel caps.
394
00:17:12,130 --> 00:17:14,560
I specifically asked
for tablets.
395
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:15,730
What?
396
00:17:15,730 --> 00:17:18,230
I'm such an idiot!
397
00:17:18,230 --> 00:17:20,870
Come on, Jeff, be better.
398
00:17:20,870 --> 00:17:23,500
See, this is why I like girls,
399
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:26,070
they actually listen.
400
00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:28,780
God, your head is upsetting.
401
00:17:28,780 --> 00:17:30,850
You okay?
402
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,820
I will be...
403
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:38,320
Once I have some nachos.
Another batch?
404
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:41,260
Okay.
I can grate some more cheese.
405
00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:43,520
Ooh, and this time,
can you just make sure all...
406
00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:46,760
Yes, I will make sure
every chip has full coverage.
407
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,130
- Here. Okay.
- Where are...?
408
00:17:50,130 --> 00:17:52,030
I'd love to stay and help,
but I gotta make this right.
409
00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:53,230
No, no, no.
That's fine.
410
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,540
I'll just take those,
it doesn't...
411
00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:56,040
No, no.
No you will not.
412
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,270
I don't care how many times
I have to go back to the store.
413
00:17:58,270 --> 00:18:01,510
No wife of mine gets caplets
when she wanted tablets.
414
00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:14,120
Oh, well...
415
00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:16,820
Hello, miss-Adam-
doesn't-have-any-good-ideas.
416
00:18:16,830 --> 00:18:20,560
Soon to be Mrs. Adam-doesn't-
have-any-good-ideas.
417
00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:23,060
Oh, yeah?
Well, for your information,
418
00:18:23,070 --> 00:18:24,630
my ideas are pretty good.
419
00:18:24,630 --> 00:18:27,140
Jeff finally listened to one
and he loved it.
420
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:28,570
Ah, what was it?
421
00:18:28,570 --> 00:18:31,070
Well, I told him how
when you're driving me crazy
422
00:18:31,070 --> 00:18:32,140
and I don't wanna go home,
423
00:18:32,140 --> 00:18:35,110
I purposely
buy you the wrong thing
424
00:18:35,110 --> 00:18:38,380
so I have to go back
and get you the right thing.
425
00:18:40,550 --> 00:18:43,750
Oh, wait.
426
00:18:57,230 --> 00:19:00,030
- I knew it.
- Listen, Jenkins,
427
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,040
you gotta work this out
with Anderson.
428
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:05,910
I gotta get home to my wife.
429
00:19:05,910 --> 00:19:09,180
This may be a while.
Put the phone down, Jeff.
430
00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:13,580
How did you find me?
431
00:19:13,580 --> 00:19:16,480
Well, it was either
here or the diner.
432
00:19:16,490 --> 00:19:20,660
You're not the man of mystery
you seem to think you are.
433
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,560
Why are you being such
a jackass?
434
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:25,760
The usual reasons.
435
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:28,330
I got you your ibuprofen.
436
00:19:28,330 --> 00:19:31,270
Gel caps?
I asked for gel tabs.
437
00:19:31,270 --> 00:19:33,470
So stupid!
438
00:19:33,470 --> 00:19:36,570
I'll be right back.
439
00:19:36,570 --> 00:19:39,510
You know, you can't avoid
going home for nine months.
440
00:19:39,510 --> 00:19:42,310
What is your problem?
441
00:19:42,310 --> 00:19:43,610
I thought having a surrogate
442
00:19:43,610 --> 00:19:44,980
was gonna
make everything easier.
443
00:19:44,980 --> 00:19:47,180
But Brenda turned
into the creature from alien,
444
00:19:47,180 --> 00:19:49,280
and you turned
into the baby alien
445
00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,050
that came out of
the big alien's mouth
446
00:19:51,050 --> 00:19:54,320
and hissed at sigourney Weaver.
447
00:19:55,990 --> 00:19:58,060
I know, it's harder
than I expected too.
448
00:19:58,060 --> 00:19:59,290
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
449
00:19:59,290 --> 00:20:00,730
But we just
have to remember that
450
00:20:00,730 --> 00:20:04,000
at the end of all this,
we get a baby.
451
00:20:05,130 --> 00:20:07,470
And then it gets easy, right?
452
00:20:07,470 --> 00:20:09,040
Yeah, of course.
453
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:10,910
Okay, let's go home.
454
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,910
And I'll help you
take care of Brenda.
455
00:20:12,910 --> 00:20:14,210
Um, yeah, actually,
456
00:20:14,210 --> 00:20:16,240
we don't have
to go home right away.
457
00:20:16,250 --> 00:20:20,350
- No?
- No.
458
00:20:20,350 --> 00:20:21,650
Yeah, part of
the reason I came here
459
00:20:21,650 --> 00:20:24,390
is I needed
a break from Brenda.
460
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:25,620
Becoming a bit much.
461
00:20:25,620 --> 00:20:28,160
Oh, which reminds me...
We have to stop by the store
462
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,160
and pick-up some more
tortilla chips and cheese.
463
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:31,590
What kind of cheese
does she want?
464
00:20:31,590 --> 00:20:33,530
- Cheddar.
- We're getting jarlsberg.
465
00:20:33,530 --> 00:20:35,800
- Why?
- You'll see.
466
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,440
Hey, Tim...
467
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:44,010
Wanna go grab some lunch?
468
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:45,370
Oh, I'm sorry.
469
00:20:45,370 --> 00:20:46,680
I didn't realize
you were on the phone.
470
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,880
I'll go ask Russell.
471
00:20:51,310 --> 00:20:52,950
Hey, Russell, you wanna...
472
00:20:52,950 --> 00:20:54,880
Oh.
473
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,820
I'm sorry, I didn't
realize you were napping.
474
00:20:57,820 --> 00:21:01,190
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
475
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:05,790
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