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1
00:00:01,768 --> 00:00:05,270
Last night was fantastic.
2
00:00:05,272 --> 00:00:08,607
So was this morning.
3
00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:10,376
It was like
you had four hands.
4
00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:14,713
Like you were everywhere
at the same time.
5
00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:18,450
Like some kind
of sex magician.
6
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:21,787
I abraca-did-ya.
7
00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:23,856
Well, I had a great time.
8
00:00:23,858 --> 00:00:26,258
Me, too.
9
00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:33,699
So will that be
cash or check?
10
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:40,506
You slept with a prostitute?!
11
00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:43,242
By accident.
12
00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:48,147
So, your vagina swerved
and crashed into his penis?
13
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:50,649
It was a simple
miscommunication.
14
00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:54,053
Remember, I told you I had
that blind date last night?
15
00:00:57,824 --> 00:00:59,892
Hi. Are you...
Are you...
16
00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:02,161
Katherine?
17
00:01:02,163 --> 00:01:04,029
It's kate, actually, but...
18
00:01:04,031 --> 00:01:06,331
You look like brad pitt
and smell like firewood,
19
00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:09,168
So you can call me lisa
for all I care.
20
00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:12,337
It looked like he was
waiting for a blind date.
21
00:01:12,339 --> 00:01:16,675
How was I supposed to know
he was waiting for a client?
22
00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:19,878
Why did you pay him?
23
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:23,582
I don't shoplift dong.
24
00:01:25,885 --> 00:01:27,886
You want to know the
greatest indignity?
25
00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:31,957
He left his card on my pillow
like it was a hotel mint.
26
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:33,692
Ooh.
27
00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:35,561
"handy randy."
god,
28
00:01:35,563 --> 00:01:37,062
I'm so embarrassed.
29
00:01:37,064 --> 00:01:38,097
I just want to forget this
whole thing ever happened.
30
00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:39,098
We will never,
31
00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:41,100
Ever speak of this again.
32
00:01:41,102 --> 00:01:41,934
Understood.
33
00:01:41,936 --> 00:01:43,135
Absolutely.
34
00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:45,871
But first,
can you tell us everything?
35
00:01:45,873 --> 00:01:48,207
All right, bring it in.
36
00:02:01,721 --> 00:02:03,722
Well, guys,
it's official.
37
00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:05,390
My divorce is final.
38
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:06,892
congratulations!
39
00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:09,228
To the newly liberated
dr. Will stokes.
40
00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:11,630
All the fun
with half the assets.
41
00:02:12,565 --> 00:02:14,733
You know, it's actually
less than half.
42
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:17,236
I mean, she got the house,
the car, the dog...
43
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:19,438
Let's call it half.
44
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,607
All:
To half!
45
00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:24,243
Ooh, you guys, look, it's
a shimmering essence commercial.
46
00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:25,611
I have an audition
for their new campaign.
47
00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:27,913
Babe, this is your
hair's big break.
48
00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:30,449
And to think,
I was completely bald
49
00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:32,618
For the first 18 months
of my life.
50
00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:36,855
See that? It's like a real
rags to riches story.
51
00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:42,194
what is that?
52
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,767
You've got
a rat, mate.
53
00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:52,271
a bloody
big one, too.
54
00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:55,941
I-I have a thing about rats.
55
00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:59,278
Rodents are the natural
consequence of having children.
56
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:03,282
Filthy, filthy children.
57
00:03:03,284 --> 00:03:07,352
Making you the godmother
was clearly the right choice.
58
00:03:10,623 --> 00:03:13,892
It's in the walls!
It's under the floor.
I'm leaving.
59
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,294
Oh, no.
60
00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:17,829
I forgot my coat
and it's gotten all cold out.
61
00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:19,231
Borrow mine.
62
00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:21,800
I won't need a jacket
when the rat eats my arms.
63
00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:24,303
Lovely.
64
00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:28,707
ah, it's got
that delicious will smell.
65
00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:31,143
All right, that's it.
66
00:03:31,145 --> 00:03:33,779
I'm putting all my
fruit roll-ups in a ziploc bag.
67
00:03:35,682 --> 00:03:38,016
Guys, please remember, when
you catch our little friend,
68
00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:39,351
Be humane, all right?
69
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:40,819
Release him
into the woods.
70
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:43,322
Absolutely.
In the woods.
71
00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:45,657
I'm gonna kill that thing.
He's done.
72
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:48,527
All right, I'll call
an exterminator.
73
00:03:48,529 --> 00:03:51,530
No, no, no, no. Those
guys are total scammers.
74
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:54,199
Oh, no, bobby, please don't
start with the scammers.
75
00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:56,201
It's true.
Three guys show up in a van,
76
00:03:56,203 --> 00:03:58,337
One to sell us an overpriced
monthly warranty,
77
00:03:58,339 --> 00:04:00,239
Two to case the joint
for a robbery.
78
00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:02,107
No, thanks.
I will buy some traps.
79
00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:04,176
Bing, bang, boom, it's handled.
80
00:04:04,178 --> 00:04:06,245
Like you bing-bang-boomed
the leaky faucet?
81
00:04:06,247 --> 00:04:08,180
Hey, the plumber said what I did
made it-- and I quote--
82
00:04:08,182 --> 00:04:09,848
"no worse."
83
00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:17,856
Guys, good news. Me and my hair
84
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:20,292
Got a callback for the
shimmering essence commercial.
85
00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:21,893
all right.
Yep,
86
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,362
All I have to do
is nail one line.
87
00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:24,930
Oh, that's great.
What's the line?
Mmm,
88
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:26,265
Okay, get ready.
89
00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:28,634
"it's in my hair."
90
00:04:31,237 --> 00:04:32,871
What'd you think?
91
00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:34,206
Fine.
Good.
92
00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:37,776
Okay, what'd you really think?
93
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,244
Bad.
Not good.
94
00:04:39,246 --> 00:04:42,247
All right, what was
wrong with it?
Honestly,
95
00:04:42,249 --> 00:04:43,882
It was too casual.
I disagree.
96
00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:45,384
I think
it was too stiff.
97
00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:46,918
I'm with will.
It's like you had hair,
98
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,054
But you didn't actually care
that you had hair.
99
00:04:49,056 --> 00:04:50,122
Kate:
No.
100
00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:51,423
It needs some flavor.
101
00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:52,791
What if you do it
with a british accent?
102
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:55,761
Like, "'ello, guv'nor,
it's in me 'air."
103
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:00,565
Hey!
104
00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:01,900
now you've totally
105
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:04,503
Freaked my hair out.
106
00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:07,239
Do you guys think
it's weird that lowell's
107
00:05:07,241 --> 00:05:08,974
Still wearing my jacket?
108
00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:12,077
Why? You lent it to him.
109
00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:13,478
For a night.
110
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,314
Now it's the next day
and he's still wearing it.
111
00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:17,316
It's outrageous. You go
into a situation thinking
112
00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:18,817
It's one thing and,
the next thing you know,
113
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,085
Your wallet is empty
114
00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:21,687
And you can't look
at yourself in the mirror.
115
00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:24,323
Why don't you just ask
for the jacket back?
116
00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:25,757
He shouldn't have
to, all right?
117
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,426
The lendee should return
the item to the lender
118
00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:30,095
Without being asked.
It's the social contract.
119
00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:32,264
All right, guys.
Here you go.
120
00:05:32,266 --> 00:05:34,266
Will wants
his jacket back.
121
00:05:34,268 --> 00:05:36,201
What? Bobby,
what are you...
122
00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:38,770
I don't... I... I'm not in...
123
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:39,938
I don't e...
124
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,942
Oh, I'm sorry, mate. I spent
the night at jules'. I didn't
125
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:45,777
Have a change of clothes.
Here, let me give it back.
126
00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:47,479
Lowell, lowell, don't.
Come on. It's cold.
127
00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:49,481
I'm not gonna take the clothes
off your back.
128
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:51,650
Just return it after work.
Leave it on the porch.
129
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:54,786
If-if you're in
the neighborhood.
130
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,722
Before 10:00.
131
00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:06,465
Doesn't this thing
ever sleep?
132
00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:09,701
He's, like, training
for a decathlon.
133
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:12,404
Yes!
134
00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:16,308
I got you, you
son of a bitch!
135
00:06:16,310 --> 00:06:18,577
Huh? Huh?
136
00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:21,012
Okay, okay. You said
that you'd handle it,
137
00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:22,314
And you totally delivered.
138
00:06:22,316 --> 00:06:24,049
I'm sorry that I doubted you.
139
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,384
You should be sorry
'cause I just...
140
00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:30,322
Oh, he's not dead.
141
00:06:30,324 --> 00:06:32,391
He's trying to free himself.
142
00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:35,227
Calm down, calm down.
Give it a minute.
143
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:42,501
It has been
over an hour.
144
00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:44,503
I-I can't stand
to hear him suffer.
145
00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:46,171
Please do something.
146
00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:49,007
It's in its death throes.
It's gonna be over any second.
147
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:53,578
There. It stopped. See?
148
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,914
I told you once,
I told you a thousand times...
149
00:06:57,351 --> 00:06:58,850
it escaped.
150
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:00,252
We didn't kill it.
151
00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:01,753
We just pissed it off.
152
00:07:02,855 --> 00:07:05,023
This is why normal people
call an exterminator.
153
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:06,391
Please. Call one.
154
00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:09,060
Absolutely not.
I can deal with this on my own.
155
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:11,596
Yeah, key phrase being "on your
own" because I can't stay here.
156
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:12,798
I'm taking the baby to kate's.
157
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,100
Unless you want
to use him as bait.
158
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,035
Very funny.
159
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:18,804
But that rat will be gone by
the time you get home tomorrow.
160
00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:20,005
I promise.
161
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:24,876
I will be wearing his
pelt as a trophy!
162
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:40,659
Oh. Thank you so much for
letting us have the big room.
163
00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:45,464
So this is where you did
it with the prostitute.
164
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,500
Really? In front of the kid?
165
00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:50,802
Oh, please. He's
heard much worse.
166
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,407
So, how are you holding up?
167
00:07:55,409 --> 00:07:57,909
I'm full of wine and shame.
168
00:07:57,911 --> 00:08:00,145
So you slept with a hooker
by accident.
169
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,080
I mean, we've all been there.
170
00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:05,417
I mean, not "we" but you.
171
00:08:05,419 --> 00:08:08,253
I just... I can't stop thinking
about it.
172
00:08:08,255 --> 00:08:10,755
Well, what are you gonna do?
You can't un-sleep with him.
173
00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:12,090
No.
174
00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:15,293
But I can un-pay for it.
175
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:17,295
Right? Think
about it.
176
00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:18,497
The only thing
that makes him a hooker
177
00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,198
Is the fact that I paid him.
178
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,800
But if I get my money back,
179
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:25,470
Then he's just some hot guy
I slept with on Saturday night.
180
00:08:25,472 --> 00:08:28,173
This has really taken
over your life, hasn't it?
181
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,742
I can't stop showering.
182
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,117
Aha.
183
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:43,822
I figured this might be
your base of operations.
184
00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:45,290
Kate, right?
185
00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:46,358
Mm-hmm.
Woman:
Um, I only
186
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:47,459
Have cash
for one of you.
187
00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:50,462
Does the threesome
cost extra?
188
00:08:50,464 --> 00:08:53,532
You couldn't afford me.
189
00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:55,467
I have to speak to you.
190
00:08:55,469 --> 00:08:56,801
Now's not a...
191
00:08:56,803 --> 00:08:58,637
Good time.
192
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,373
I want my money back.
193
00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:02,807
What? No way.
194
00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:05,310
The sex trade
is a no-refund business.
195
00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:06,578
Well, that's just it.
I didn't realize
196
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:08,146
This was a business arrangement.
197
00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:10,315
I thought I was on a date.
198
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:15,387
There's no way
I could ever date you.
199
00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:17,088
You are way
too high maintenance.
200
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:20,492
Excuse me?
201
00:09:20,494 --> 00:09:23,094
"rub me, watch me, flip me."
202
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:25,196
My god, it never ends.
203
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:28,199
Give me my money back
or I will call the police
204
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:29,501
And incessantly stalk you
205
00:09:29,503 --> 00:09:33,171
And tell all your clients
you have crabs!
206
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:38,343
I...
207
00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:41,546
That was my mazda payment
this month.
208
00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:44,449
All right, wait,
wait. Maybe...
209
00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:46,184
I could work it off.
210
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,385
How?
211
00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:49,921
Finger fun in the bathroom?
No!
212
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,189
Nothing sexual!
213
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:52,557
What else can you do?
214
00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:53,892
I don't know.
215
00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:56,861
So, boning.
Boning is all you do.
216
00:09:56,863 --> 00:09:58,630
Well, I used to do handiwork.
217
00:09:58,632 --> 00:10:01,032
That's how I got the name
"handy randy."
218
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:03,702
Okay, well, I have
a bunch of odd jobs
219
00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:05,236
I need done around my apartment,
220
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,405
So you can work off
what I paid you,
221
00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:09,040
And then we will call
what happened
222
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:12,711
"consensual sex between
two non-paying parties."
223
00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:14,112
Okay, fine. Deal.
224
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:17,549
Great. I will call you
with times that work for me.
225
00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:19,651
She was also my ride.
226
00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:21,653
Use your thumb.
227
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:24,022
I know you can.
228
00:10:28,828 --> 00:10:32,430
I feel like bruce willis,
crawling through the air ducts
229
00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:35,800
Trying to save everyone
at nakatomi plaza.
230
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:38,570
Bruce willis walked barefoot
through broken glass.
231
00:10:38,572 --> 00:10:40,972
You have pillows tied around
your shins.
232
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,575
It's because
I'm thinking like a rat.
233
00:10:43,577 --> 00:10:46,645
If I'm a rat,
I run straight up the pant leg
234
00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:49,581
And make a beeline
for the balls.
235
00:10:49,583 --> 00:10:51,583
What do you think
bruce willis would do
236
00:10:51,585 --> 00:10:52,851
If someone took his jacket?
237
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:56,254
Seriously?
Still, with the jacket?
238
00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:57,589
He didn't return it!
239
00:10:57,591 --> 00:10:59,591
He said he would return it,
and he did not.
240
00:10:59,593 --> 00:11:00,959
I checked the porch five times.
241
00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:02,093
Is it possible
242
00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:03,595
That you're upset
about this jacket
243
00:11:03,597 --> 00:11:05,764
Because lowell looks better
in it than you do?
244
00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:10,168
I'm gonna pretend
you didn't say that.
245
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,270
oh, my god, there he is!
246
00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:13,705
I see him! He's huge!
247
00:11:13,707 --> 00:11:14,839
All right, I'm gonna flush him
through the vent.
248
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,641
Wait, no!
I'm at the vent!
249
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:21,446
Hit him with the broom!
Hit him with the broom!
250
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:22,681
I forgot the broom!
251
00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:24,749
Repeat: I do not have the broom!
252
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:35,427
I didn't get him.
253
00:11:44,236 --> 00:11:46,404
All right, guys, I've been
working on this non-stop,
254
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:48,373
And I finally think
I got it. Ready?
255
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,041
Yeah.
Yeah.
256
00:11:53,512 --> 00:11:56,314
It's in my hair.
257
00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:59,517
I want it in my hair.
258
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,486
Me, too.
259
00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:03,521
I'll take some.
260
00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:05,390
Oh.
261
00:12:06,859 --> 00:12:08,660
Okay, wish me luck.
262
00:12:08,662 --> 00:12:10,061
Hey, good luck, babe.
263
00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:14,833
Can you believe
that guy?
264
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:17,502
Not only did he not return
my jacket. He's wearing it.
265
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:19,370
Again. I'm saying
something.
266
00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:20,605
No. Hey,
267
00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:22,707
He's a real piece of work.
268
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:25,543
You got to beat him
at his own game.
269
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:27,011
I'm listening.
270
00:12:27,013 --> 00:12:29,347
You borrow something
of his, and then,
271
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:30,715
When he asks for it back,
272
00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:32,617
Hold it ransom
until he returns the jacket.
273
00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:37,122
Wow. Plotting comes
so easily to you.
274
00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:40,492
Yeah, well, I'm too old
to play with dolls.
275
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,628
Handy randy, huh?
276
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:45,029
Yeah, he's my handyman.
277
00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:47,265
He's doing some work
around my place.
278
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,733
Hi. Randy, it's kate.
279
00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:50,368
Just calling about tomorrow.
280
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,237
I will see you at 9:00 a.M.
281
00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:55,707
Don't be late, or else.
282
00:12:55,709 --> 00:12:58,376
Wow. You ride your
handyman hard.
283
00:13:02,481 --> 00:13:04,883
You have no idea.
284
00:13:06,585 --> 00:13:08,052
Hey, coffee
on the house, guys?
285
00:13:08,054 --> 00:13:10,622
We're sampling
an exquisite new african bean
286
00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:13,458
That was harvested
from mongoose dung.
287
00:13:15,394 --> 00:13:17,395
You're serving booze now, right?
288
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:18,496
Yeah.
289
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:20,999
Then I'll always have that.
290
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,133
Hey, lowell, I like
your sunglasses.
291
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,835
Do you mind if
I try them on?
292
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:26,304
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
sure thing, mate.
293
00:13:30,242 --> 00:13:32,076
Wow.
Right?
294
00:13:32,078 --> 00:13:34,412
Will, those look great on you.
295
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:35,747
Yeah?
Yeah.
296
00:13:35,749 --> 00:13:37,615
Lowell, would you
mind if I borrow...?
297
00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:39,350
You should keep them.
298
00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:43,822
What?
299
00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:45,924
No. You know how sometimes
you buy things
300
00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:47,926
That are clearly meant
for someone else?
301
00:13:47,928 --> 00:13:51,496
No, I'm just glad they found
their rightful owner-- you.
302
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:54,933
That shifty, shifty bastard.
303
00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:58,136
He turned the social contract
on its head!
304
00:13:58,138 --> 00:13:59,704
Now you have sunglasses
you don't want
305
00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:01,172
Instead of the jacket you do.
306
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,340
Exactly.
307
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,275
And I lied.
Those look ridiculous on you.
308
00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:07,946
God, this poo
coffee's got to go.
309
00:14:08,814 --> 00:14:10,048
I've called, like,
a dozen contractors.
310
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:12,050
None of them can make it
till at least Monday.
311
00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:13,785
Andi's coming home
this afternoon.
312
00:14:13,787 --> 00:14:15,186
I can't let her
see the ceiling.
You're in luck.
313
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:17,055
Kate was just talking
about her handyman.
314
00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:19,023
You should call him,
see if he's available.
315
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:21,492
She seemed very enthusiastic
about him.
316
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:24,128
Hey, well, I have no choice
but to hire someone.
317
00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:26,564
This guy better not try
to ream me.
318
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:33,972
Handy randy?
319
00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:35,874
Bobby, right?
Yes.
320
00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:37,175
Thank you for
coming so quickly.
321
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:39,410
Really got to get
this taken care of
322
00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:41,412
Before my wife gets home.
323
00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:44,749
If I had a nickel
for every time I heard that.
324
00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:48,086
All right, so, uh, you
want to get started?
325
00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:51,222
Yeah, well, just to warn you,
it's a pretty big hole.
326
00:14:52,992 --> 00:14:55,560
I'm sure I've seen bigger.
327
00:14:56,862 --> 00:14:59,163
I got to tell you,
328
00:14:59,165 --> 00:15:02,667
I've had a hard time
getting a guy up there.
329
00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:05,603
Well, I'm your man.
330
00:15:08,707 --> 00:15:12,010
Okay, well, want
to follow me in the bedroom?
331
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:15,413
Wherever you want
a rodeo, boss.
332
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:20,084
So you think it'll
be dry up there
333
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:21,786
By the time my wife gets home?
334
00:15:21,788 --> 00:15:24,355
I guess that depends
on when we finish.
335
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:27,792
She's a bit of a neat freak so
try not to get any on the bed.
336
00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:30,595
Hmm. Challenge accepted.
337
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,630
Hey, have you guys
started yet?
338
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:34,732
Randy, this is my partner, will.
339
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:37,035
And roommate.
340
00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:38,870
And your wife's okay with this?
341
00:15:38,872 --> 00:15:41,539
She wasn't at first,
but she's coming around.
342
00:15:42,808 --> 00:15:44,108
Do you mind if I watch?
343
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:45,810
I want to learn from an expert
344
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:48,379
So next time maybe
I can help bobby out myself.
345
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:50,815
If bobby's cool with it.
346
00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:52,250
Oh, if you promise
not to hop around
347
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:53,785
And squeal like
you did last time.
348
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:55,920
Hey, last time,
you took me by surprise.
349
00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:58,957
All right, this time,
I'm ready for it.
350
00:16:00,225 --> 00:16:03,261
So, where are
your tools?
351
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,697
I only need one.
352
00:16:07,499 --> 00:16:09,701
Let's see it.
353
00:16:20,412 --> 00:16:21,946
What was that?!
354
00:16:21,948 --> 00:16:23,948
I don't know.
355
00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:26,250
Well, why did you push me
in front of you?!
356
00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:28,786
I'm sorry, but when that thing
was coming at me,
357
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:30,688
It was every man for himself.
358
00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:35,326
Hey, did you guys know
there's a giant rat up there?!
359
00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:44,035
I'll tell you one thing.
360
00:16:44,037 --> 00:16:47,038
I do not think
that guy was a handyman.
361
00:16:50,976 --> 00:16:53,111
Hey, guys,
I brought wine.
362
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:55,747
You slept with a
male prostitute.
363
00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:04,789
Well, it took a while,
but I got all of them.
364
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:05,723
Them?
365
00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:07,492
Yeah, she had babies.
366
00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:08,493
Lots of 'em.
367
00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:09,627
They're really small, too.
368
00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:10,862
I mean, they can
get in anywhere.
369
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,800
Okay, what do
I owe you?
370
00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:16,868
Well, there's the flat fee
371
00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:18,002
For the visit,
labor and materials.
372
00:17:18,004 --> 00:17:19,470
Of course, there's no guarantee
373
00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:21,072
They won't come back, so
I'd recommend purchasing our...
374
00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:24,642
Both:
Monthly warranty plan.
375
00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:25,810
We'll take it.
376
00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:27,545
Thank you.
377
00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:30,815
Go ahead and say it.
378
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:32,250
Say what?
379
00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:33,818
If I had hired a professional
in the first place,
380
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:35,019
We would have
spent less money
381
00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:36,320
And had a lot less
of a headache.
382
00:17:36,322 --> 00:17:38,056
Plus, you wouldn't
have almost had sex
383
00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:39,891
With a man-whore.
384
00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:42,827
I guess I just wanted to feel
like I can take care of things.
385
00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:44,595
Of course you can
take care of things.
386
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:48,366
You're an excellent husband
and father and doctor.
387
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,868
Even though you almost slept
with a man-whore.
388
00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:55,540
Good news. Got the shimmering
essence commercial.
389
00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:56,874
Bad news--
390
00:17:56,876 --> 00:18:00,244
Tried shimmering essence.
391
00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:04,348
I'm gonna use it to
stuff a dream pillow.
392
00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:07,685
There's plenty of it
all over my jacket.
393
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,620
Actually, it's my jacket.
394
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:10,855
I lent it to you, and
395
00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:12,290
You've decided to keep it,
396
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:14,358
Which is a total violation
of the social contract.
397
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:15,693
Hey, whoa, there, mate...
398
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:17,929
Don't "whoa, mate" me, okay?
399
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:21,265
I am tired of people thinking
they can just take my stuff.
400
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:23,801
My house, my car,
my dog, my jacket.
401
00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:25,803
You're just like my ex-wife.
402
00:18:26,905 --> 00:18:28,406
And, yes,
I realize what I just said.
403
00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:30,108
Oh, my god,
I'm having an epiphany!
404
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:32,810
No, this is good, mate.
Let out the poison.
405
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:35,213
All right, I will!
406
00:18:35,814 --> 00:18:37,748
That's it, it's out!
407
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:39,050
Looks like someone could use
408
00:18:39,052 --> 00:18:40,918
A little bit of hug therapy.
Get here.
409
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,653
Come on.
410
00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:47,125
Yeah, yeah. Still really want
my jacket back.
411
00:18:48,727 --> 00:18:50,428
What is that?
412
00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:51,996
Lowell left it
on the porch yesterday.
413
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:53,965
I must have forgotten
to mention it.
414
00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:55,433
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no.
415
00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:57,568
I liked yours so much,
I had to get one for myself.
416
00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:59,837
Did you think I've had yours
this whole time?
417
00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:05,877
I saw a strange
penis today.
418
00:19:16,421 --> 00:19:18,923
You know, I think all the
rats are probably gone.
419
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:20,658
Oh, totally,
I'm sure of it.
420
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,594
Just a few
more nights.
421
00:19:25,764 --> 00:19:28,399
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