Original subtitles

Hello? When will that shipment of liquor be over?

Delayed? After waiting all these years?

Tomorrow repeal goes into effect.

Yes, yes, Mr. Jones. I know all that.

I'm very sorry,

but that shipment of Scotch didn't arrive.

And I'm going to be left holding the sack, huh? Listen.

I'm not doing any business in any other department.

I'm depending on that to pull me out of the red.

What?

Hello?

Hello? Hello.

Hello! Hello.

Hello! Hello.

Say, what is this?

Oh. Hello.

Hello.

Have you got everything?

Everything's all right.

We'll have it done in a jiffy.

Get busy.

Ah, remember: that door goes on the right.

Right. Right. Right.

- Left, left, left. - Right, right...

- Left, left, left. - Right, right...

- Left, left. - Right, right.

- Left, left. Halt! - Right, right.

Get the tools. What tools?

The tools we've been using for the last 10 years.

Oh, those tools.

Now, let me see: the door goes on the right.

Right. Wait a minute.

The man said the door goes on the right.

What's this? A fist.

Right or left?

Oh, ignorant, eh?

Now, listen, grapehead,

I'll explain it so even you can understand it.

Now, here. Get over here.

Now, when I say "go," we both point to the right.

Go.

Hey, porcupine. Come here.

Point to the right for this chump, will you?

See?

Get busy. Come on. Where's the map? Over there.

Get me a board. Get me a board.

Get me a--

What's keeping him?

Make it six inches.

Make it six inches. Make it six inches.

Get me a saw. A saw.

Give it to me.

What happened? Nothin'.

Shut that door.

Awww! Help! Murder!

Where is he? He's in there.

Get me outta here!

Get that door open!

I can't. It's locked. I ain't got a key.

Get a saw!

Don't lose your head, now.

I'll have you outta this in a jiffy.

Hurry up.

What are you doing down there?

Come here.

I think he wants ya. Both of ya.

Clean up this mess. Okay.

We got you out, didn't we?

Yeah. Thanks.

Hello. Hello, Mr. Jones?

Uh, Mr. Jones, I'm very sorry, but I just found out

we won't be able to deliver the bourbon either.

I'll be right down.

Boys, something terrible has happened.

Yes.

I have to leave. I won't be long.

Yes.

You boys watch the store until I come back.

Yes.

- Be sure and watch the store. - Yes.

Now, listen, J.T.-- Oh, listen nothing.

We have liquor contracts that we can't fulfill,

and it's all due to your neglect.

But--

Do you know that they'll sue us

and put our firm out of business?

And then you will be out of a job.

Now, you get over to the drugstore and pacify Jones.

He's been calling me up every five minutes.

And I'll wait here for an answer to our last cable.

All right.

Hey.

Mr. Jones in?

No, but he ought to be back any minute.

What's the matter?

Oh, boy, do I feel low.

Hey, mix me a pickup.

He wants a derrick.

Well, uh, we got raspberry, and, uh--

No, no.

Some of the prescription stuff.

Oh.

Sure, we'll have you fixed in a second.

Come on.

What'll we give him?

Now listen:

we'll all start together,

and once we get started, it's every man for himself.

Help me out now. Get busy.

Here you are. What is it?

I don't know, but it smells good.

Okay.

Try this.

No, I think we better try this.

Easy now.

Oh, this is beautiful.

Now, uh, w-wait a minute.

Try these.

Oh, nuggets.

Now, come on now.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute now, fellas.

That's funny.

Now sneak up on it slow.

I'll be right behind you. Don't be afraid.

We better shake it up. Get the shaker.

Here. Okay. Pour it in.

Go ahead.

Easy now.

Do it.

Get a strainer.

Hurry up. It's alive here.

This ought to be a strainer.

Here you are. Take it easy now, boys.

Everything's all right.

Ah. There it is.

That looks nice. Aha.

Here, test it. Wait a minute.

That last stuff had teeth in it.

Better find out what's in it.

Well, boys, I guess it's ripe.

This ought to pick him up. And lay him down too.

Outta the way.

There we are.

Toodle-oo. Over the river.

Skip the gutter.

Oh, boy.

Where'd you get this Scotch?

We made it. All of us.

Listen, boys. There's a fortune in this.

We'll make thousands of dollars. I've got an idea.

Don't move!

Maybe we better humor him.

I'll marry him if there's enough dough in it.

Oh, hello.

I ran into three Scotch distillers

who just arrived from Scotland.

They're looking for a distributor

to handle their output.

Don't let them out of your sight.

Bring them up to the house for dinner,

and if we put the deal through, you'll get a bonus.

Okay, J.T. Heh.

Boys, we're all partners.

You make the Scotch, I'll handle the output.

We'll split 50-50. Just leave everything to me.

There's millions in it!

We better take it easy. He's liable to have a gun.

Well...

Agh-gag-gag-gah!

J.T. just ran over to see his banker

to arrange for the money for the deal.

He'll be back soon.

That's fine, Mrs. Walton.

What in the world is that?

Oh, that's, heh-heh-- That's the Scotch gentlemen.

I know you'll enjoy them, Mrs. Walton.

Of course, they're-- they're a bit eccentric.

Mrs. Walton, may I present Mr. McSniff.

Mr. McSnuff.

And Mr. McSnort.

How do you do?

Hoot. Hoot. With a hooty-hoot-hoot--

Heh. An old, uh, Scotch salute.

Are you laddies by any chance from Loch Lomond?

No, we're from Lockjaw. Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk-nyuk--

Eh, Mrs. Walton, you might go ahead with your musical.

I'll make the boys comfortable.

All right.

Gentlemen, won't you be seated?

Come ahead. Low man again.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Signor Louis Balero Cantino,

the famous baritone,

will sing for us.

Recede.

A winner every time.

Ha, ha.

Hit me again. I can still hear him.

What you try to make for me, a fruit salad?

Pigs!

He can't call me that and get away with it.

More pigs!

Ow!

Oh, this is terrible. That's quite all right.

What are we going to do? Just don't excite yourself.

What about a little twist?

A what? A twirl, a dance.

Oh. Well, that would be lovely. Yes.

The gentlemen are going to do their native dance.

I ain't gonna take my clothes off for anybody.

See that? Yeah.

We would like to have you do the Highland fling.

Well, we ain't much on the Highland fling, lady,

but we sure knock 'em dead with our Lowland shim.

The Lowland shim?

Yeah, it's the same as a fan dance,

only you do it in kilts. See?

Play on, MacDuff.

Hey, play a little faster. A little slower.

A little faster. A little slower.

A little faster.

Mrs. Walton, supper is served. Supper is served.

Hey.

Are you gonna eat that?

Nah. That's for you.

Nah, it's for you.

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk--

You can't spoil my dinner.

Oh! Oh!

It bit me, but I got him. Oh.

I'll get you later.

You better take this now.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Why, you blithering idiot!

Oh, gentlemen.

I feel as though I've known you for years.

It is an extreme pleasure, and my home is yours.

Mr. Walton. Yes?

We've been waiting for you.

The gentlemen have brought a sample of their

Breath of Heather, that 106 plus.

Oh, that's fine. Gentlemen.

Bring in your Breath of Heather.

Hoot, man. Hoot, man.

Hoot. Hallelujah. Hallelujah.

Hoot. Hoot.

Hoot. MOE: Hoot!

Hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot...

Those three vandals

are wrecking our home. Listen.

If we don't sign those three vandals to a liquor contract,

we'll have no home to wreck.

Take it easy. Okay. Take it easy, now, folks.

Take it easy.

Tap it.

Are you sure that's the Breath of Heather?

Well, I'm p-p-p-pretty sure.

Go away, I'm--

Easy now.

All right, Breath.

That's the idea. Heave!