Original subtitles

- Hi, Nicholas. - Hi, Dad.

- Nicholas, do you know what a strike is? - Uh-huh.

It's when you miss the baseball.

Yes, that's right. Uh...

That's good, Nicholas. Very good, very good.

But, uh, a strike is also, uh, trouble at work.

Serious trouble...

and, uh, well, serious trouble at work means serious trouble at home.

Uh...

We all have to start cutting corners around here...

and so I was wondering if you could do old Dad a favor.

Uh...

Could you drink water instead of milk?

I mean, water is good for you. It tastes good and it's cheap.

Did you ever try washing down a mouthful of peanut butter...

with a nice cold glass of water?

Strike three, I'm out.

Come on, Nancy, give me a break, would you?

Okay, okay.

Hey, it's a bathroom, not a library, you know.

- Some people can do two things at once. - Nance...

how'd Dad react when you dropped the bomb, huh?

I don't know why you're making such a big deal about this, Joanie.

Oh. You haven't dropped the bomb yet, huh?

I'm just asking to be a model, not a lady of questionable virtue.

I doubt he's gonna be able to make such a fine distinction.

You do?

Maybe I better wait till he has had his morning coffee.

Remember, it's no big deal.

[DOOR OPENS]

Tommy!

- I'll make it fast. - Oh, Tommy.

I was here first. Aw...

Take a number.

"Most Americans are baffled by the complex scientific... involved..."

So is this reporter. I don't know what I'm doing.

[MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY]

- Good morning. - Oh, hi.

I thought when you moved out, you took your dirty socks with you.

Well, I do it for Mom, really. She likes to feel that she's still needed.

Yes, David, your unselfishness never ceases to amaze me.

You're up early. Something wrong?

No, nothing a little journalistic inspiration wouldn't help.

My editor in chief took his wife away to Europe for a couple of weeks...

left me in charge of the paper. I have to write his editorials plus my own columns.

A real Citizen Kane.

I thought I'd get a head start before the early morning rush.

The only problem is, I have zero to editorialize about.

All this peace and quiet isn't helping.

Hi, David.

DAVID: Hi, Mar. - Dad, paper.

- Don't have time. You read it. - Save me the front page, will you, David?

- You're always... Morning. - Morning.

Wake up.

I want the front page.

- Morning, Daddy. MARY: Excuse me.

- Morning. - Hi, David.

Hi. How's it going?

- Well, I guess it's going fine. - Well, so much for peace and quiet.

Good morning, family.

Good morning, Susan.

- I'm doing the juice. - Morning, everybody.

TOMMY: Morning. - Morning, Tommy.

ELIZABETH: Milk?

Sugar.

Oops. Too much sugar isn't good for the body.

Especially a body in his condition.

I think he wants it for his coffee.

Yeah, well, I've been experimenting with several diets lately.

One which I find particularly appealing...

says that large quantities of anything including sugar is a no-no.

I'll respect your philosophical and dietary beliefs...

if you will respect mine, and please pass the no-no.

I'm a Protestant.

We don't have any philosophy.

Well, now that I know what you are, do you mind telling me who you are?

Yeah, I'm Julian. Heh.

Oh, Juli... Joan, I'll take a chance. Where did this little boy come from?

My class.

Well, what is this, a boarding house that we're running?

That doesn't make sense.

Oh!

MARY & NANCY: Oh!

Nicholas, my editorial.

That's worse now. Juli... Nicholas, what have you done?

Dad, he didn't mean it. He's just trying to be helpful.

- Didn't mean it? MARY: Well, he didn't.

Nicholas, would you go on...

and get ready to go to school before you miss the bus.

- Very difficult... - Oh, honey, it was an accident.

Boy, oh, boy, somehow noise pollution doesn't seem to matter anymore.

You know what? I think I'll do a piece on zero population growth.

JOAN: Who wants bacon?

Just finished your editorial on the offshore oil drilling.

- Not too shabby. - Oh. Well, thanks, son.

You presented a very adequate argument, even if you did take the wrong side.

Yeah. Well, it's nice to be appreciated.

Aren't you late for work?

The union got us the morning off so we could vote for our new labor negotiators.

- I didn't know that you were a party man. - Never was.

Like you told us kids, if you're gonna play the game, you follow the rules.

I know. I just didn't have any idea that anybody was listening.

Oh, we listen. We just don't usually agree.

I'll catch you tonight when I pick up my wash.

No, no, no, not unless you're very late.

The work of a columnist is never done, but the toils of an editor is sun to sun.

You're taking this Citizen Kane stuff seriously.

Yes. To tell you the truth, I like it. All that executive power.

Even if sometimes I do take the wrong side.

Listen, if your hours get really crazy, I'd be glad to help you here at the office.

Oh, son, that's very touching.

I know. I'm a wonderful human being.

I take after Mom.

[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]

Good morning, Dad.

[TOM HUMMING]

Dad, can I talk to you about my future?

- Sure. Talk. - Well... SUSAN: Excuse me.

Excuse me. Sorry, Dad.

- Tommy, can I get in here a sec? Thanks. - Yeah.

- Hey, we out of deodorant? - Joan.

- Joan. - I'm right behind you.

- Hurry up so I can comb my hair. - What is this? A conspiracy against me?

Why is everybody in our bathroom?

Elizabeth locked herself in the other one.

Mom, put deodorant on the market list, okay?

- Do you mind explaining why? - Explain the need for deodorant?

No, why Elizabeth locked herself in the other bathroom.

Oh. I called her a baby and she won't open the door till I apologize.

- In a word, apologize. - I can't.

Uh, it's the principle.

In this household, principles come second to bathroom privileges...

so would you please march?

Okay, I'll apologize to the adolescent.

And you, little fellow, you march too. No more water play.

- Ah. Thing of beauty. - Uh...

Uh, Nancy, did you want to talk to me?

Mom, Dad...

I want to become a model.

No. No daughter of mine is going to have a month named after her...

for some men's magazine so guys can sit around the barber shop and gawk at her.

Tom, you never told me your barber shop had that kind of literature.

I'm talking about fashion modeling.

You know, next year's fall line, cosmetics, clothes.

Oh. Oh?

It's real exciting work and I can travel. And I can make lots of money.

More than I can clerking or being a secretary.

Well, if it's okay with your mother, it's okay with me.

- I don't see why you shouldn't try it, Nancy. NANCY: Oh, thanks.

I knew you'd think it was a neat idea.

There's just one little thing.

Well, to get modeling work, you need an agent.

And to get an agent, you need professional photographs.

And to get professional photographs, you need $200.

Two hundred dollars? We don't have 200... Explain that.

Nancy, why don't I take your picture?

I'm not a professional, but you always said I had a pretty good eye.

- Can we do it today? JOAN: Why not?

Well, I don't have much time. I mean, I gotta wash my hair...

I gotta pick out my wardrobe.

Hey, maybe Mary will loan me that blue jersey of hers.

- How can you find time? Isn't...? NANCY: Oh.

[KISSING]

NANCY: Ew.

How can you find time to do this?

Isn't today the shopping, dry cleaning, Tommy's orthodontist day?

JOAN: It's a diversion. - Unh.

Tom?

Tell me about those magazines in the barber shop, hm?

[PRESSES WHIRRING]

- Good morning. - Oh, hi.

The janitor's outside to see you about a problem with the furnaces.

Now, you've got a stack of please-call-backs.

These must be proofed for the late edition.

Here's today's mail and here's my resignation.

I'm only kidding, Mr. Bradford.

For now.

The day has not even begun and already I'm behind.

My brain feels eligible for federal disaster funds.

Disaster funds, that might make a good editorial.

Oh, and look, Donna, now that our leaders are away on vacation...

you might as well expect a good case of chaos for the next two weeks.

- Any suggestions? - Yes, yes.

Take two aspirin, show the janitor in and please return these calls.

Right.

[WHIRRING STOPS]

Something's wrong.

Yes, but what?

Mr. Bradford...

the presses have stopped.

Oh, my gosh, you're right.

[PHONE RINGS]

Mr. Bradford's office.

Get them off the line. Tell them that we have to call the power company.

It's not the power, it's the printers.

- There's a wildcat strike, Mr. Bradford. - Strike?

I'm terribly sorry, Mr. French.

This is Mr. French from the union on the line.

He is demanding an immediate meeting with management.

Tell him that we'll get ahold of management at once.

Mr. Bradford, you are management.

Super.

Hi, Dad. I heard about the strike on the news. It's awful.

I mean, working conditions at the paper must be pretty substandard...

to force the printers to walk out.

Maybe now, at least they'll get what they deserve.

Honey, you look tired.

Mary, what about me? Why can't I get what I deserve?

- I'm a working man too, you know. - Come on, Dad. You don't work.

I mean, you're the management.

Well, I've seen the enemy and she is all mine.

Heh. Don't blame Mary, Dad, she's just basically pro-labor.

And habitually anti-father.

Boy, oh, boy, I tell you, I don't think you people see the real issue here.

You know, strikes are notorious for going on and on and on.

It could break the back of the paper.

Don't you realize that?

Why are all of these bottles empty?

Doesn't make sense.

That's not one of my children.

I know. That's Julian. You met him at breakfast.

I know I met him, but what is he still doing here?

He's eating. I guess he likes the food here.

Yes, yes, well, I tell you, I like the food here too.

That's my point. If this continues...

there's not going to be any more food for any of us to like.

NANCY: Mom? JOAN: Mm-hm?

Larry Neff said he'd develop my pictures.

What else is he gonna develop?

Doesn't anybody understand what I'm talking about?

Mom, what's Dad talking about?

TOM: My job is in jeopardy.

If the strike continues, the paper could fold and then where will we be?

That cookie and milk that Nicholas' little house guest has been polishing off...

could very well be the difference between food on the table and starvation.

Oh, come on, Dad, don't be so melodramatic.

You're being melodramatic. No one's gonna starve.

You're darn right, because as of now I'm tightening the purse strings.

Instant accounting.

You better all dig down and find your pennies...

because this family could be in deep financial trouble.

NICHOLAS: Dad?

- What? - Can I have an advance on my allowance?

Nicholas...

Didn't you understand what I just finished saying?

That's why I asked for an advance.

If we're gonna be poor, I want an allowance while you still got it.

Let's go.

[PRESSES WHIRRING]

[INAUDlBLE DIALOGUE]

In a strange way, this strike is a stimulating thing.

It's just like in the early days of journalism when one man wrote the story...

ran the presses and then went out on the street and sold the papers.

Mr. Bradford?

In the days when the cry of "stop the presses" meant a new story was breaking.

- In the days when... - Mr. Bradford.

We're printing classified ads on the front page.

Sunsini! Stop the presses!

Press room, please.

- Oh, my goodness. - Mom, I got a knot.

- You got a what, honey? - Knot.

Well, come on up here and we'll fix it.

Is this it? Oh, that's not a knot.

We'll fix it anyway, okay?

- There. - Mom, can you do my hem?

I don't think I'll have the time.

Nancy's photographs are ready.

I promised I'd go over to the agent with her. There you go.

Please. It won't take long.

[SIGHS]

- Okay, climb up. - Here.

Well, my lady, what length this year?

- Three inches below the knee. - Three inches below the knee.

Here.

It's terrible what the strike's doing to Dad.

Well, he sure has a lot on his mind.

This business with the unions and the strikes is so out of his field.

So why is he bothering with it?

I mean, it's not like he owns the paper or anything.

He has an obligation.

The editor left him in charge, and until he can find that editor...

who happens to be in Europe somewhere, he has to run things.

Mom, has Dad ever been out of a job before?

Hm? Oh, he was once.

Once when you were a little baby.

He was editor of a small magazine, and it went bankrupt...

and I think it took him about three months before he found another job.

Well, weren't you scared?

Oh, not so much scared as sort of helpless.

I was pregnant then with Susan.

Very pregnant, as a matter of fact...

and there's not too much that a woman with a 42-inch waist can do...

- to go out and earn money. - So, what did you do?

Well, we cut back as best we could and your grandparents lent us some money...

and your father was so happy when he could pay them back.

There. Voil�, finished.

Mom, I have some money in my savings.

Oh, honey, that's just where it's gonna stay.

Your father still has his job and everything's gonna be okay.

Yeah.

Sure it will.

Thanks for the hem.

[SIGHS]

MAN: Interesting.

I don't have any modeling experience, but I'm willing to learn.

I ride horses and I play tennis.

And I'm taking a drama class at school...

and I'm willing to cut my hair.

It's no problem.

- Very natural. - Thank you.

This angle is particularly flattering.

Thank you.

I'd say my age range is 16 to 25.

Well, with the right clothes.

McELWAYNE: Who took these?

Oh, I did, Mr. McElwayne.

I'm sorry if they're not appropriate, but my experience is really family picnics.

Don't apologize, Ms. Bradford. These are very impressive.

They're dynamic even. You have the eye of a natural craftsman.

- Craftsperson. JOAN: Thank you. Heh.

McELWAYNE: You're a pretty girl, Nancy. - Thank you.

At the moment, however, I have more pretty girls than I can keep working.

Types are changing. Today, off-the-wall sells better than cute.

I'm sorry.

I'll just have to keep you in mind.

However, all is not lost.

What I desperately do need now, today, is a qualified photographer.

Mrs. Bradford, I have a complete darkroom and plenty of work.

What do you say?

[CHUCKLES]

Uh... Well, how much does it pay?

TOM: Unh. JOANIE: Whoa.

Hey, I don't have to ask how you are.

It's written all over your tie.

Yes, tomorrow's headline.

Hi, Dad.

- Where's your mother? - Upstairs.

- Bye-bye. - See you later.

JOAN: Come on, Nancy. Open the door.

You know by not eating, you're only hurting yourself.

Tom, you look terrible.

Why should I put on a phony front?

What's the matter with Nancy?

She's feeling sorry for herself.

Anyway, it's hard not to feel sorry for her.

She had her heart set on becoming a model.

Well, I had my heart set on retiring at 30.

You don't see me locked in my room not talking to anybody.

She's only 18.

She has plenty of failure to look forward to.

JOAN: Well, there's one other thing, Tom.

You see, I was offered a job by the same man.

- As his photographer. TOM: Oh, great.

My daughter loses a big chance...

my wife gets a chance and she doesn't want it.

Life is really insane.

- I'm gonna take a shower. - Tom, I want that job.

- That's insane. - Well, we need the money...

and, well, just look at yourself.

TOM: I'm afraid to. The shock might kill me.

Susan, would you mind reading somewhere else?

Oh, yeah. Sure, Mom.

Tom, look, the strike is gonna go on.

The newspaper is not gonna last much longer.

And you yourself have not been able to secure another job.

Whoa. Hold off now. Templeton Publishing called me today.

They offered me editor of their new paper.

Really?

Tom, that's exciting. Why didn't you say anything? Where?

Anchorage, Alaska.

Tom, if I don't take this job...

I'm gonna have to go out and get another, and I'm not moving to Anchorage, Alaska.

How much will this job of yours pay anyway?

Well, not much at first. But in the end, I'll be sharing in the profits.

What about the house and the kids?

I can look after the house and the kids can manage well by themselves.

TOM: I don't know, Joan.

Tom, the welfare of this family is as much my responsibility as it is yours.

Now, I have a right to contribute.

[SIGHS]

- Fair enough. NANCY: How could things turn out this way?

Dad, how can you let her do it?

You were supposed to be looking after my interests, not yours.

My own mother.

- A traitor. - Traitress.

That's no way to talk to your mother.

- She'll get over it. TOM: Yeah, I should help her get over it.

Dad, I have something I'd like you to read.

- What is it, Mary? - My letter to the editor.

You...

You've come out in total support for the printers' union.

Yes, and totally against management's stubborn, untenable, feudalistic stance.

I can't print this letter.

Why not, Dad?

You're always talking about freedom of speech.

Well, now's your chance to do something about it.

Traitress.

JOAN: Make sure the boys make their beds...

and for heaven's sakes, don't forget to take something out for dinner tonight.

So how does it feel going out in the business community the first time?

Scary. Listen, if you need me, I left my number on the bulletin...

Okay, would you go already? We can take care of ourselves.

- Okay, bye. SUSAN: Bye-bye.

- Bye-bye. - Bye.

- See you, Mom. - She's so excited.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Okay.

I'll cook if you do the laundry.

I don't do laundry.

- I'll probably be home late again, girls. MARY: Dad?

Didn't you forget something?

Not with you around.

I'm looking forward to reading today's letters to the editor.

- Sure. MARY: Have a nice day.

Mary, would you lay off him, huh? He's just trying to do his job.

And I'm just trying to follow my conscience, Joanie.

Well, follow it to the back porch.

You're on laundry detail.

I don't know what to do. If I don't print the letter, it shows prejudice.

If I do, the union is gonna read it as a

sign that we're divided and wanna surrender.

Mr. Bradford, if it makes you feel any better...

there may be nothing to print it on.

The paper mill just announced their support of the strike.

No more newsprint deliveries until a settlement has been reached.

And Mr. French from the union called.

They've rejected your latest proposal.

- Any luck in finding our evasive editor? - None.

When he goes away, he's gone.

And our general manager is still in his boat somewhere off the coast of Baja.

Well, this strike is a disaster anyway. So print the letter.

Yeah.

Mr. Bradford, there's one more thing.

David called and canceled today's lunch.

He says he feels really weird about crossing a picket line.

It's a really rotten job, Mr. Bradford.

Well, if it wasn't, everybody would be doing it.

Mr. Coopersmith, I delivered my girls on time.

Why can't I get paid on time?

Jason, they said my legs weren't long enough.

Yeah, one second, honey.

Yeah. Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, well, I'm sorry that your computer isn't feeling well.

Maybe it hasn't been paid either.

I wore platforms but they turned me down anyway.

They didn't want a tall girl with short legs.

Would you hold on a second? Honey, go shopping or something.

Just forget about it.

Well, that won't make my legs any longer.

[SIGHS]

Yeah.

Yeah, well, I appreciate your sympathy, Mr. Coopersmith...

but I'd appreciate getting paid even more.

Yes, thank you.

I printed up this morning's work. What do you think?

[SIGHS]

Good.

- That's nice. - Yeah.

Hopefully these will inspire some business.

Keep some of those unemployed ladies off your back.

- You're learning fast. - I have the Myerson twins in an hour.

How does a series at the amusement park sound?

- I trust your judgment. - Good.

I won't get back before the end of the day. I'll call.

- Bye. - Bye.

I'm home.

We're in the living room.

Mr. French and I were just talking about you.

TOM: How nice to see my house used as a strike headquarters, Mary.

Sit down, please.

- Dad, listen... - No excuses, no explanations.

Since you seem to get some morbid intellectual pleasure...

entertaining a man who has given me great discomfort...

kindly have the decency not to do it in my own home.

Good evening, Mr. French.

To what misfortune do I owe this unexpected visit?

Mr. Bradford, I've seen the paper's latest edition.

Yes, we're managing just fine without the help of your union, thank you.

Except for a somewhat amateurish printing job, I think it read very well.

Especially the letters to the editor.

- You have a very bright daughter. - Yes.

And one who I couldn't agree with less.

I printed Mary's letter because it deserved to be printed.

Not because management was conceding to your demands.

Now, since that's what you mistakenly assumed...

- I believe our conversation has ended. - Mr. Bradford...

I pride myself as a man of few assumptions.

However, I do assume that you are a reasonable man.

Reasonable, not weak.

No one forced you to publish a letter that was directly opposed...

to your own editorial policy, and yet you did it anyway.

What I do and why I do it is no concern of yours.

- But it is. It is. - Why?

It tells me that you and I can sit down together...

and hammer out our differences.

- It does? - Yes.

Quietly, rationally...

perhaps over a drink.

- I drink Scotch. - See?

Already, we have common ground.

Dad had no right to talk to me like that.

He's always getting so bent out of shape.

I think consorting with the enemy falls into

the category of high crimes and treason.

I was not consorting, Susan. I was simply being cordial.

- He's always overreacting. - Hey.

Could you pace over there? You're causing a draft here.

Hi, anyone interested in a movie?

Not as interested as I am in passing a philosophy exam tomorrow.

- Mary? - Uh, no, thank you, Nancy.

- I'm a little short on cash. - Oh, don't sweat it.

You can owe me.

- You're awfully up tonight, Nancy. - Heh, heh.

Why shouldn't I be? Anything wrong with that?

No, Nancy, there's nothing wrong with that.

You've been pouting and feeling sorry for yourself since Mom started working.

- And I was just wondering... - I was looking for company, not insults.

Hey, hey, wait a minute, Nancy. Mary didn't mean to insult you.

Oh, no, Nancy.

I'm glad that you're not holding a grudge against Mom anymore.

Well, now, that would be pretty childish of me, wouldn't you say?

- That's what I'd say. - I mean...

I figure if Mom wants to neglect the family...

and carry on this ridiculous charade of being a working woman...

she's entitled.

- Very mature attitude, Nancy. Very mature. - Very.

Maybe not as mature as holding your breath until you turn blue...

but I'd say you're moving in the right direction.

Forget the movie.

You really ought to try it, Nancy. I think blue's your color.

Ah. Sometimes I wonder why parents have children. Heh.

- It must be the challenge. - Gotta be.

Bob, I'm real glad you dropped by.

Tom, we don't enjoy strikes any more than you do.

I'll present our proposal to the board in the morning.

- Printers should be back within the week. - Very good.

Maybe we can have dinner when the dust settles.

- I'll speak to my wife and call you. - Heh, heh. Okay.

- Night. - Good night.

It looks like the strike has been resolved.

Oh, far out. That means allowances are reinstated.

Dad, I'm proud of you.

It takes a big man to admit that he was wrong.

No, no, no. No one did anything of the sort.

We compromised.

- Is there anything to eat? - Coming up. I've already fed the kids.

Look, let me explain what I mean, Mary.

The printers gave a little and we gave a little.

They said that they wanted not to work on holidays...

so we gave them less working hours. You understand?

They said that we had to hire 20 extra men, we settled on an even dozen.

And on and on. It's all compromise.

Life is a compromise.

You'll realize that when you get out of college and join life.

What is this? Did you feed the kids this?

This is special for you.

You've been polluting your body with cholesterol.

So I took it upon myself to correct the problem.

- I like cholesterol. - It's poison.

I tell you, I can't eat this.

It's good for you.

Here, Dad. One of life's little compromises.

Thank God your mother can finally quit her job and relieve me of my miseries.

JOAN: Tom, are you ill?

I'm watching the late news.

Correction.

I'm watching where the late news should be...

if my TV set was still where it should be.

I'm afraid to ask where it went.

I'm just hoping that it will magically reappear.

No questions asked.

Well, honey, I just forgot to tell you.

Nicholas and Julian took it out in the back yard.

- They're camping out tonight. - They must be roughing it.

They left the remote control.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

JOAN: Come in.

NANCY: Mom, can I speak with you?

- Sure. - I'll go visit Lewis and Clark.

NANCY: Mom, I'm sorry.

It's really weird, you know?

I realize I made a mistake, but...

I still hurt.

Honey, whatever I do is never meant to hurt you kids.

Yeah, I know.

But I've spent 18 years competing with seven brothers and sisters...

for grades and attention, heh, and the bathroom.

But when I imagined my own mother competing with me...

- I guess I got a little crazy. - You think I'm competing with you?

Oh, no, not anymore.

Maybe it was me competing with you.

And I lost.

I don't think you lost anything, Nancy.

Maybe you learned something.

Yeah, I learned one thing for sure.

I think there's a better future in photography.

- Oh, you do? - Mm-hm.

You have any future plans in taking over my job?

No way, the competition's too stiff.

- Are we friends? - Yeah, we're friends.

JULIAN: Red Dog One, come in. What is your position?

NICHOLAS [OVER RADIO]: Red Dog Two, this is Red Dog One.

I'm bivouacked by the garage.

Red Dog One, this is your leader.

Return to base.

It is time for lights out.

Well, I hope you boys have everything you need.

I think so, Mr. Bradford, but you better leave the back door open just in case.

Hi, Dad.

It was sure neat of you and Mrs. Bradford to let us do this.

I never camped before. There's always neat things to do over here.

We have fun at your house too.

Yeah, sometimes. But your folks don't argue all the time.

Well, Julian, I'm glad you're comfortable here.

Thanks. You know what, Mr. Bradford?

- You remind me of my grandfather. - Oh, thanks.

I think.

Those kids have enough gear out there to colonize the North Pole.

JOAN: Better not let them hear you. They'll want you to drive them there.

Good news. In a few days the strike will be history.

I guess you can quit your job now.

I was thinking, when the editor comes back...

we should take a long weekend, just the two of us.

I don't wanna quit my job.

Maybe we could go to Sausalito or Carmel... What?

I wanna keep my job, Tom.

I mean, this is the first time since...

Adlai Stevenson's campaign that I have felt needed for something...

other than housewifing and motherhooding.

Adlai didn't have a husband and eight children.

My God, Joan, it's not even a real job. You're working for futures, not money.

What's wrong with working for futures?

Tom, I have needs of my own.

Working gives me an identity apart from you and the children.

I always let you have your own...

- Did you hear what you said? - What?

You have always let me.

Well, Tom, this time I have earned it on my own.

Now, you be reasonable. Why shouldn't I work?

Oh, you want reasons? I can give you reasons.

Susan is health-fooding me to death.

Nicholas stole my TV...

and somebody's pet made the mark of zorro on my bedroom rug.

Look, your place is supposed to be here looking after...

My place should be my decision, Tom.

I thought we made your decision when we had eight children.

Can somebody drive me home?

Why, Julian?

You remind me of my parents.

Always arguing.

Aw... Now, look at what you've done.

Nice little boy, come here.

Oh...

JOAN: Tommy. TOMMY: Yeah, Mom?

Get together your things.

- I'll drop you off on the way to work. - Okay.

Nicholas, do you hear me? I want that TV back in the house...

Joan, I am out of clean shirts.

You'll have to drop them at the cleaners on the way to work.

TOM: That's clear across town. I can't be late.

JOAN: Well, neither can I. I work too, you know.

TOMMY: Okay, Mom, I'm ready.

Oh, Tom, by the way, one of my tires is bald.

Oh, really? Buy a new one. You've got a job too, you know.

Can I spend the night at Julian's?

Oh...

All right, I'd like to open up this discussion

by saying that I think this situation stinks.

Me too.

SUSAN: Why don't you go outside and play or something, hm?

- I wanna hear. - There's nothing to hear.

Then why do I have to go outside?

Nicholas, because you're too young.

I'm always too young. Mom and Dad are my parents too, you know.

Yeah, we know they are, Nicholas, but look.

We promise we won't do anything without telling you first, okay?

Okay. But I won't be too young forever.

- So, what are we gonna do? - I don't think we should do anything.

Mom and Dad should work out this problem themselves.

Hey, wait a minute, weren't you the one...

who said one person's problem was everybody's problem?

- Yeah, but this is different. SUSAN: I agree with Nancy.

- I think somebody should talk to Dad. - Yeah.

- Well, why is it all Dad's fault? - Nobody said it was anybody's fault.

But Dad has been acting kind of stubborn lately.

Well, who's gonna talk to him?

Here's that. And this.

Thank you for the lunch.

Sorry it's nothing fancy.

They don't give us much time to eat.

Dad, I don't want to meddle in yours and Mom's affairs...

but I do have a vested interest.

Take my laundry, for instance. Since Mom started work...

and the girls started filling in, my laundry hasn't turned out good.

In fact, this used to be my favorite dress shirt.

- Mm. Pretty bad. - It used to have French cuffs.

David, if you want to give somebody advice...

you've gotta learn to make your points faster.

Mm. Right. Well...

the point is, regardless of the hardships to the family...

Mom should be allowed to work if she wants.

Yeah, I'm well aware that your mother should work, and can work if she wants to.

Believe it or not, I've read all the books, heard all the lectures.

Had my consciousness raised until I'm beginning to talk with a high voice.

Well, if you're so liberated, why can't you accept the fact that Mom's working?

- I don't know. - Well, maybe you're just old-fashioned.

You know, a woman's place, and all that junk.

Yeah, maybe.

I only know that with eight kids, somebody's place better be at home.

Look, David, I'm not good at self-analysis and all that.

I only know what makes me happy and what doesn't.

Dad...

so does Mom.

Yeah.

I got some great photos at the train depot.

- I'll just put them in the soup. - There's no rush.

[SIGHS]

I'm afraid I have some bad news.

Even someone as inexperienced as I am...

knows that bad news means that someone's getting fired.

And since I'm the only employee...

Well, no one's getting fired, exactly.

I've come to realize at the suggestion of my bookkeeper...

that I can no longer afford to stay in business.

Oh.

It's been a lousy fiscal year.

I've got a family, a boy starting college, and no money.

The newspaper wants me to start Monday.

Did you say the newspa...? You mean the Sacramento Register?

I haven't told the girls yet. I wanted you to know first.

Some of the girls may still want pictures.

I'm sure you can work out any arrangements.

Yeah, well, we may lose a few of the advertisers because of the delay, Bill...

but they're coming back around.

Oh, yes, I'll be right up. Bill, welcome back.

- Hi, Joan. - I don't believe it.

That you would deliberately go and hire my boss right out from underneath me.

I'm not sure I understand what you're talking about.

You couldn't get me to quit...

so you deliberately hired Jason McElwayne to spite me.

- Who is Jason McElwayne? - Oh, come on, Tom, who is Jason...?

Uh-huh. Jason McElwayne.

Here it is. Photo engraver, lots of experience.

Oh, Joan, hiring a photo engraver...

was one of the conditions in the strike settlement.

But why him? Why not anybody else? Why him?

Because things don't always work out your way.

Look, Joan, I have nothing to do with the hiring around here.

But if I did, I have a duty to this newspaper.

- Your Mr. McElwacky... - McElwayne.

- Jason McElwayne. - Jason J. McElwayne.

It's a dopey name. He happened to be the best man available.

It's not fair. I mean, you knew how important that job was to me.

Isn't it fair for him to earn a decent living...

so he can take care of his family?

Then maybe you'll have time to look after yours.

You'll have to excuse me, my boss just got back from Europe.

I have to be debriefed.

We'll talk later.

Maybe.

[CAR DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]

Oh, hi.

We should talk.

Don't tell Tommy where I am.

Come on.

[JOAN SIGHS]

Here, now. This is a little quieter.

Tom, I'm sorry for bursting into your office this afternoon.

It's just that I had this tremendous feeling of self-esteem that...

[WHISPERING] What is that?

That's T.M.

T.M.?

- Transcendental meditation. - Oh.

Tom, you should've seen me.

I actually was accomplishing something on my own.

And most importantly, I was really good at it.

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Well, have I ever told you...

you're really good at being a wife and mother too?

Oh, it's not the same.

Hi. Anybody seen Nicholas?

[TOM SIGHS]

I'm talking to your mother.

Oh, is there anything to eat?

Well...

nothing like the great outdoors for a little privacy.

You know...

maybe it was sort of stupid of me to get so upset in the first place.

I mean, I guess if you wanna keep working...

it's all right.

You should be able to drum up business on your own.

- You say you're a good photographer. - Hey, get a load of this.

JOAN: I don't think it matters. I don't have the equipment.

I don't have contacts. I don't have anything to make a go of it.

TOM: Just because your boss throws the towel in...

that doesn't mean that models suddenly don't need pictures anymore.

Maybe I could buy McElwayne's darkroom equipment.

He won't be needing it anymore.

And there's plenty of space in the laundry room to set it all up.

JOAN: Oh, I don't know, Tom. TOM: Oh, come on.

If you freelance, you'll still be available around the house.

At least when you're needed, we'd know where to find you.

You really don't mind my working?

- I can live with it. - What is going on over here?

ALL: Shh!

ELIZABETH: Quiet.

JOAN: Maybe it could work.

Why not? I mean, at least it's worth a try, right?

On one condition: that you let me pay for the darkroom equipment myself.

I mean, that way, it's really my business.

If you wanna look a repentant gift horse in the mouth...

have it your way.

[JOAN SIGHS]

Hey, gift horse...

how about extending this freelance photographer...

a small business loan? Say two years at eight percent.

What do you say?

You let me decide what form the interest will take.

[JOAN CHUCKLES]

Okay, that's it. The show is over.

Let's go. All of you, come on.

- Nancy, come on. TOMMY: It was just getting good.

MARY: It was not.

TOM: Nicholas. What are you doing here?

NICHOLAS: Shh. Don't tell Tommy where I am.

[JOAN & TOM CHUCKLE]

This is 43 inches across.

- Okay, three feet, seven inches, right? - Right.

JOAN: I think my enlarger should... ELIZABETH: Mom?

- What? - I can't find my jeans.

- Well, check the wash. - What about shelves...

- for your dryer and timer? - Up here.

- Mom, can I borrow the car? - Yeah, if you replace the gas.

The enlarger here. This would be a perfect place for...

- Yeah. - I'm not gonna be home for dinner.

- Me either. I've got a date. - I want you home early.

You have school tomorrow. No, really, come on. Um...

Oh, and do me a favor.

- Don't do anything with the cab... - Mom?

- I'm gonna go to Bill's. - Homework first, Bill second.

Don't do anything with the cabinets until I see David.

One other thing. I want the blinking light above the door.

- So that... - Mom, I'm hungry.

What you need is a padlock and a guard dog.

Ha, ha. It's all right, Mom. I'll feed him. What do you want?

A padlock for sure.

- Mom, I need a pair of nylons. - Uh-uh.

- Just one more pair. - I'm sorry, Mary. No more borrowing.

- One leg? - Goodbye. Um...

I don't want anyone to come in, so put the blinking...

NICHOLAS: I don't want bologna. JOANIE: Nicholas, what about peanut butter?

Would you please tell Susan to give me a ride?

Please?

- A guard dog for sure. - Mm.

Now, where was I?

The blinking light.

The window. How am I gonna do all this?

[English - US -SDH]

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