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ELEGANT CLASSICAL MUSIC
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LADY DASHWOOD: "Greetings,
Lord Winchester.
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"It was our great and warm pleasure
to receive you
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00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,080
"at our grand ball this summer.
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00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,520
"And please forgive me
if my fascinations have overcome
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00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:20,280
"my better wisdoms, but I felt for
a moment I saw the briefest
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"flash of affection in your eyes as
our hands met upon our introduction.
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"I know our stations are
not equal in social stature,
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00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:31,840
"but I must know if in your heart
you too sense
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00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:33,840
"the first green shoots of love.
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00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,680
"Yours forever hopefully,
Lady Rose Dashwood."
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00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:53,680
LORD WINCHESTER READS:
"Same, send nudes."
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SHE SIGHS DEEPLY
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MUSIC: Mashup the Dance
By Major Lazer
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Me n'affi ask weh dem put up
dem hands for
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Step inna yuh face, we a gangsta
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00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:03,120
Mek dem know to no bwoy
we nuh answer
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00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:04,680
Badder than cancer, the freelancer
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00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:07,120
Big up every woman
and salute every man, sah
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Never impact, Major Blazer
21, watch ya
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Rumble in di jungle, step to dis,
you're sure to crumble
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Try walk straight
and try nuh stumble
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Try hold yuh mouth
and try be humble
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Shawty, walk in, dance mashup.
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THUMPING MUSIC PLAYS
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MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY
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Hey, Sam, look.
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She's on to you, blud.
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Bruv, go move to her, bruv.
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THEY GIGGLE
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Go on!
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MUSIC: Brown Skin Girl
By Chris Brown
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Well, mi waa send out dis one
to di man name Chris Brown
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Get all a di gal dem
from his home town to outta town
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Yeah, ha-ha!
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Seh wah, so mi waa see lighters
in di air...
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You finished with that?
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00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:04,040
What? You finished with that?
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00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:05,720
Um... You finished with that?
40
00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:07,680
That. You finished?
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00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:09,640
You finished? You finished?
42
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Am I f...? You finished?
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You done? It's over? Is it over?
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You finished? Are you all right?
Can I have some?
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Ugh.
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Got any more?
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No.
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Don't think this is going to work,
you know?
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No, because this always happens
to me. Don't touch me.
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00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:37,960
I'm going to cry, I'm going to cry.
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00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:40,360
So?
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Just wanted different things, innit?
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MUSIC: Express Yourself
By Diplo
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Spread your legs, and make it
clap, clap, clap, clap
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Spread your legs and clap!
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Bo! Oh, it was so funny.
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THEY LAUGH
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So, Jacob, how long have you been
having a relationship
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00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:01,280
with my beautiful niece?
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00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:02,640
It's been about a year now.
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00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,080
Wow. A year!
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Er, I think I can hear...
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Ding dong, the bells
are going to chime.
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Wedding bells!
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00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:12,840
Auntie, please.
We're just taking our time.
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00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:14,000
Oh, we understand. Mm.
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00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,280
Modern relationships these days
are very different.
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00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,320
Yes, you know, swipe left,
swipe right,
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00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:19,440
like it.
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00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:21,640
Bala, can you check on the jollof
for me, please?
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Yes, auntie.
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Thank you, darling.
Yes, good girl. Good girl.
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Taking your time?
Taking your time?
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00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:34,800
What's this?
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Taking your time?
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00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:40,400
With my niece? With her niece?
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Hmm?
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00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:46,160
How about I take my time cutting out
your wandering, sinful,
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00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:47,520
unmarried eyes?
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And your balls. Yes!
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And also your balls.
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00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:52,640
I... "I-I-I-I..."
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00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,000
You can't be serious?
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Show her how serious we are!
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HE GASPS
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00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:01,200
Look well. I said, look well!
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00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,000
Listen to me.
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00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:06,480
I think it's about time
you made an honest woman
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of my niece.
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You have one week.
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00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,680
Punk ass bitch nigga!
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DOOR CREAKS
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00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:18,760
Oh, Bala, listen, be careful.
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00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:22,560
Broken glass. Jacob had a little
accident with the bottle.
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00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:23,720
Such clumsiness, eh?
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00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:25,520
So clumsy. I fell.
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I fell. He fell.
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00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:29,000
You all right, babe?
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Yeah.
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00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:34,480
Er, babe, you see on Saturday,
do you want to do something?
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00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:36,480
Just the two of us?
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00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:37,760
Aw.
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So romantic.
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Young love!
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This one is a keeper.
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And I don't want the world
to see me...
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00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,680
RADIO: We interrupt
tonight's broadcast
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for some breaking news.
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There has been a zombie outbreak
in the Greater London area.
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Victims are said to turn extremely
violent and dangerous.
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00:04:56,520 --> 00:05:00,360
However, only those of African
and Caribbean descent
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00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:02,000
seem to be affected.
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Phew!
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When everything's made
to be broken...
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SHE SCREAMS
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NEW RADIO STATION: What are you
saying out there, London?
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I don't care if you're at
a wedding or home alone,
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it's time for the electric slide!
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It's like candy
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I can feel it when you walk
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Even when you talk
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It takes over me
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You're so tender...
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I want to know
can you feel it, too?
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I can't do it.
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No, seriously, I just can't do this.
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This stuff is starting now
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It's the same feeling
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00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:04,000
I always seem to get around you.
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Steve, no!
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White people should never attempt
the electric slide!
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00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,840
MUSIC: Gimme Likkle One Drop
by Tarrus Riley
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Hey, DJ, can you play that song?
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Set the mood for me
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To hold a different energy.
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00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:33,400
Hey, boy.
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Who you a look pon?
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You deaf?
139
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,160
Hey?
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00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:43,200
Ah, you won't talk to me,
so what you a look pon?
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00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:45,960
You look pon my Leslie?
142
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,680
You not have no manners, man?
That's my fiancee!
143
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:51,240
Leslie, you know this man?
144
00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:55,440
W-W-What can he do that I can't do?
I can do this.
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This is easy. Look pon it. Look!
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You see...?
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00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,400
Easy, man.
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00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:07,560
Hey?
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00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,320
I can do it, man.
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00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:11,560
Just give me one more chance,
Leslie.
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Oh, yes!
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Me baby!
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All right, come, we can put your
ring on later.
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00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:21,000
Oh!
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00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,400
Yeah, you dickhead.
156
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,840
You didn't think you can take
my woman away from me, huh?
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00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:26,160
Huh?
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00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:29,440
You nuh need the change, anyway.
159
00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:30,640
You're shit, man!
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00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:36,840
You sure?
161
00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:42,160
You finished with that?
162
00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:44,840
You finished? You finished?
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00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,560
Can I have it? Thanks.
164
00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:52,680
It's bare bitter.
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00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:54,440
I think I saw a talking snake.
166
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I'm going to go grill it.
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00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:57,520
Later.
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00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:03,600
And now, on Fantastic Egusi
Music Televisuals,
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a bonus exclusive.
170
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International movie filming
superstar,
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Babatunde Warrington,
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00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:14,720
is now an international musical
recording artist.
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Here is his new single,
H'AfterParty.
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00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:22,440
It's three in the morning
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00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:24,600
The club's closing down
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But, Babatunde's honey
watch the girls come around
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H'after the club
is the h'after party
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00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:33,720
H'after the club
is the h'after party
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00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:35,760
The girls come round
and we have to party
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00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:38,480
Babatunde Warrington's
h'after party...
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00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:40,560
Hey, Funke, where you at, girl?
182
00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:45,320
Adeola, come to this h'after party!
183
00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:48,640
Hey, Fumi, bring all your friends.
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00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:51,680
I mean, all your friends
who are girls.
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00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:53,680
We've got the rum,
we've got the food,
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00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:55,040
we've got the lube.
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H'after the club is the
h'after party
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H'after the club is the
h'after party
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The girls come round
and we have to party
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00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,920
Babatunde Warrington's
h'after party...
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00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:09,960
Hey, Funke
where the fuck you at, girl?
192
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:13,760
Adeola, I said come to my
h'after party!
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00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:17,360
Fumi, where you
and all of your girlfriends?
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00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:18,720
Shit!
195
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:24,520
Know what, Babatunde says
fuck those girls
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00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,560
We don't need that noise
197
00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:28,720
My h'after party's still lit
198
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,400
Cos I got my boys...
199
00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:34,000
It's time to wrestle!
Pull his meat!
200
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,400
Measure our dicks!
201
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:39,520
Play catch the goat!
This way, goat!
202
00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:42,560
Adeola, come to my
h'after party, man!
203
00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:44,320
Some weird shit is going down!
204
00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:48,760
It's starting to smell
really bad in here, guys.
205
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:51,200
I don't like this h'after party
any more.
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00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,720
Funke!
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00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:00,680
GOAT BLEATS
208
00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,480
GOAT BLEATS
209
00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,480
Shut up, goat.
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00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:09,880
SCREAMING
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00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,640
WHY?
212
00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:20,400
WHY?
213
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,360
WHY?
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00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:32,120
SHE SCREAMS
215
00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:37,800
Jessica, we've been through this.
216
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:39,760
DTMHB.
217
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:41,480
Don't touch my hair...
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00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:42,760
..bitch.
219
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:45,360
You're bleeding on the floor!
220
00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:47,440
I'm going to have to talk to HR
about that.
221
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,320
This is all wrong.
222
00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:56,200
I shouldn't be here.
223
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:02,440
You have stolen my dreams and my
childhood with your empty words.
224
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:06,520
I am of course talking about
the number one threat
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00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:08,040
to our ecosystem.
226
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,560
Gentrification.
227
00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:15,600
Homes are being destroyed.
228
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,560
Families are being destroyed -
229
00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:21,960
and Peckham is being filled
with wankers.
230
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,400
You got rid of my local Morley's.
231
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:29,360
You got rid of my local Morley's
232
00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:31,760
and built a board game bistro.
233
00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:37,280
We don't want your
electro-funk nights.
234
00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,880
We don't want your funny
pirate beards
235
00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:43,680
and your vintage clothes shops.
236
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,160
They smell.
237
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:50,000
We don't want your chai lattes
238
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,600
and your gluten-free cakes.
239
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:58,680
Gentrification is killing the ends.
240
00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:01,280
You should be ashamed of yourselves.
241
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:02,480
Ashamed!
242
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:06,720
Although...
243
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:09,600
..I really like
that cereal cafe in Shoreditch.
244
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,280
That place is fucking bangin'.
245
00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:13,720
Thank you.
246
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,840
Lady Dashwood,
it has been many weeks now
247
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,280
since I last received word from you.
248
00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:23,520
I fear I may have been
too forthcoming
249
00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:25,880
in my request for nudes.
250
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:28,240
I'm not like the other gentlemen
out there.
251
00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:30,320
I'm just as intrigued by your mind
252
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,080
as I am the nudes
I had previously requested.
253
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:35,640
If you do send nudes,
then that is splendid -
254
00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:37,840
but also, if I am to receive
no nudes,
255
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,680
then that is also satisfactory.
256
00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:42,360
Honestly, it is completely
out of character for me
257
00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:43,880
to request nudes from a lady.
258
00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:45,480
It's just not my thing.
259
00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:48,160
Can I have some more, please?!
260
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:50,600
Lord Winchester. What is it?
261
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,320
A letter from Lady Dashwood, sir.
262
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,000
Then bring it here, damn you.
263
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,880
TOGETHER: Oh!
264
00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:11,960
Tis peak, my Lord! Straight up
ankle in this establishment.
265
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:13,600
We must act quickly.
266
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:16,320
Draw a likeness of my dick
and balls,
267
00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:19,560
and we shall send to Lady Dashwood
post-haste.
268
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,680
And make sure you give me
ample girth.
269
00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:26,840
Ladies like ample girth.
270
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,560
It would be an honour, sir.
271
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:36,760
Hey, man.
272
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:40,360
Like, there's a phenomenon in
these movies where, like,
273
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:44,280
you get one guy who's white
and one guy who's black,
274
00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:46,200
and they just team up, man.
275
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,360
It's so rad!
276
00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:52,280
They did it in Rocky
and Die Hard
277
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:55,000
And the sequel for Die Hard
278
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,760
You know, where the hero's white,
the friend is black
279
00:13:57,760 --> 00:13:59,840
They did that shit
in Men In Black
280
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,600
They did it in Django,
did it in Predator
281
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,640
Did it in Seven
and did it in many more
282
00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:05,800
It started with The Defiant Ones
283
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:07,000
That's the blueprint
284
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,000
Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor
tried it tonnes
285
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,240
It works!
286
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:12,400
They did it in
Shawshank Redemption, Lethal Weapon
287
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,000
48 Hours, not to mention
288
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:17,840
Rush Hour franchise
is a box office landslide
289
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:21,640
Buddy movies, buddy movies
multiethnic buddy movies
290
00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:23,640
They're all getting along
291
00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,280
We're friends for real!
292
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:28,600
Buddy movies, buddy movies
Mel Gibson made buddy movies
293
00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:30,840
Then he dropped an N-bomb
294
00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:32,200
Not cool!
295
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:35,640
Buddy movies, buddy movies
multiethnic buddy movies
296
00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:38,240
There's no hidden agenda
297
00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:40,120
Just money.
298
00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:47,000
Here you go.
299
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,440
Eat.
300
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:50,360
This is all we have left.
301
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:54,440
Are you finished with that?
302
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:57,280
Are you finished with that?
303
00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:58,880
Are you finished with that?
304
00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:00,080
Are you finished?
305
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:01,360
Are you finished?
306
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:02,680
Are you finished?
307
00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:04,200
Are you done? Thanks.
308
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:12,960
This rice is bare bland.
309
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:19,440
Have you got anywhere
I can charge my phone, bruv?
310
00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:24,000
Goddamn you, man. That looks awful!
311
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,240
My phallus looks nothing like that.
312
00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:28,360
Again! Yes, my lord.
313
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:29,760
Try it from this angle.
314
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:31,840
It will look bigger from here,
over my shoulder.
315
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:33,240
Chop chop, man!
316
00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:36,280
I'm trying to warm it up.
317
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,160
How's that?
318
00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:42,560
Much improved, my lord.
319
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:45,200
Good.
320
00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:47,280
This is an insult!
321
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,000
Oh, tis useless.
322
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,800
Maybe I should just send
Lady Dashwood some flowers,
323
00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,080
or buy her some land or something?
324
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,280
My God.
325
00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:09,520
It's glorious.
326
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:11,240
Send it, immediately.
327
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:12,880
Yes, my lord.
328
00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:18,480
Oh!
329
00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:28,480
Look how it doth bend!
330
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:30,080
It doth bend!
331
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,120
Thank you so much. Thank you.
332
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,200
Tell the chef, actually.
That was so nice.
333
00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:43,280
Er, babe, I took you out here
because there's something
334
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:45,960
I want to say.
335
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,400
There's something I need to say,
actually.
336
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:51,280
OK.
337
00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:52,800
What?
338
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,240
Actually, I don't need to do this.
339
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:56,280
Sorry.
340
00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:59,080
Jacob?
341
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:00,480
Where are you going?
342
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:11,280
Yes, of course I'll marry you!
343
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:14,080
Ah, so sweet!
344
00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:16,480
Such romanticism.
345
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:28,920
Now, listen, alien scum.
346
00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:32,000
You will give me the code
to the defence shield.
347
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,840
Or die.
348
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,280
A silly fool.
349
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:38,000
You are totally defenceless
against us.
350
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:42,000
Put down your puny
and ineffectual weapon.
351
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,200
Or you shall regret it.
352
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,360
Yeah, sorry, can we cut?
353
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:50,760
Oh, come on, dude,
that was a great take
354
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:51,920
and you cut it.
355
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:53,360
What's the problem, man?
356
00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:55,440
Yeah, look, can I just check?
357
00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:58,400
What is this going to be again?
358
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,400
That's the CGI.
The CGI alien goes in there.
359
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:05,280
OK, but is it, like,
a Japanese alien,
360
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:06,480
or something?
361
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:09,000
No, he's not Japanese. He's a fish.
362
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,640
A sneaky, alien fish goes in there.
363
00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:13,640
This all seems a little
racist to me.
364
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:16,160
OK, so you want us to change
the alien?
365
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,960
Yeah, I think we should definitely
change the alien.
366
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:20,680
OK, we're changing the alien!
367
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:26,520
Now, listen, alien scum.
368
00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:28,920
You will tell me the code
to the defence shield.
369
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:30,400
Or die.
370
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:33,480
Foolish human.
371
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,000
I'm going to destroy you again,
372
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:39,320
but first I'm going to take all
of your gold!
373
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,120
Yeah, no, sorry, this isn't right.
374
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:43,360
Can we cut?
375
00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:45,320
Oh, what's the problem now?
376
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:49,320
Yeah, look, this isn't great either.
377
00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:51,000
Oh, come on, dude!
378
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:55,520
We changed the alien and made entire
rewrites of the script for you.
379
00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:58,840
Yeah, but, in the script, instead of
describing the character,
380
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:00,920
it just says "Jew" in brackets.
381
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:02,960
OK, let's change the alien.
382
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:04,120
Again.
383
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:08,000
Now, listen, alien scum.
384
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,360
You will give me the code
to the defence shield.
385
00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:11,880
Or die.
386
00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:15,680
No worry, my bredren, it's me!
Your good friend, Pom Pom!
387
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:18,880
Watch me do a little rhyme
for you now, Rasta.
388
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:20,400
Check, check, yeah.
389
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:21,680
Check, check, yeah.
390
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:24,360
Fuck this!
391
00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:26,880
Come back! Come back!
Pom Pom's for the kids, man.
392
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:28,840
And all the merchandise!
393
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:33,240
Ooh!
394
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,360
Yeah!
395
00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:39,480
Gyal me wann fi hold yuh
396
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:42,000
Put me arms right around ya
397
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:45,080
Gyal you give me the tightest
hold me eva get...
398
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,600
Hyacinth, you all right? Yes, baby!
399
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,360
Leslie!
400
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:58,120
My sweet contactless.
401
00:19:58,120 --> 00:19:59,720
Me the man you want.
402
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:03,160
Me come rescue you from this
loveless marriage.
403
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,600
Busshole, are you mad?
404
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:06,840
Come here.
405
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,160
So.
406
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:13,280
So.
407
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:16,040
Let's sekkle this.
408
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,360
DJ!
409
00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:19,680
Soundclash!
410
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:20,760
AIR HORN
411
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:25,400
Energy! Hey, we ready?
412
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,720
Done this pussy real quick.
413
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,000
Hey, boy, you're not ready
414
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,320
You're soft like a teddy
415
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,360
Coming I rip it up like confetti
416
00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:34,880
Whip out me khakis
stick it right inna she belly
417
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:37,240
Me came for one ting
and that's my girl, Leslie
418
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,080
Nah, boy, on my girl
Fi 'ave and to 'old
419
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:41,440
Me grab up her batty
and she grab up me pole
420
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,680
Leslie, me love you
like a truckload of gold
421
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:46,560
Leslie, if you leave me
that gon' mash up my soul
422
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:48,520
Mm-hm, seems like me hit a nerve
423
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,880
Leslie wants a real man
she nuh want a turd
424
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,920
She wants a strong back man
she nuh want a turd
425
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:55,160
She wants a real champion
not the absurd
426
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:57,640
Who you look pon?
What you a look pon?
427
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:00,000
Who you look pon?
What you a look pon?
428
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,240
Who you look pon?
What you a look pon?
429
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,600
What you a look pon?
What you a look pon?
430
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:06,800
One, two, three, rise me gun
so you can hear me now
431
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,000
Looks like he nuh fit the criteria
432
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,480
Nervous and shaking like him
have malaria
433
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:14,520
He's not Jamaican
that boy's Nigerian!
434
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,280
He's Nigerian!
435
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,520
He's Nigerian!
436
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,880
He's Nigerian!
437
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,120
That boy Nigerian!
438
00:21:24,120 --> 00:21:26,200
Leslie, don't try and come back.
439
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,200
Go on, you bomboclaat.
440
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:32,000
CHANTING
441
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,320
Who you look pon?
What you a look pon?
442
00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:36,840
Who you look pon?
What you a look pon?
443
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:39,040
Who you look pon?
What you a look pon?
444
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:40,680
Step inna yuh face, we a gangsta
445
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:42,520
Mek dem know to no bwoy
we nuh answer
446
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:44,160
Step inna yuh face, we a gangsta
447
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:46,400
Mek dem know to no bwoy
we nuh answer
448
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:48,120
Badder than cancer, the freelancer
449
00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:50,360
Big up every woman
and salute every man, sah
450
00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:53,840
Never impact, Major Blazer, 21,
watch 'ya
451
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:57,520
Rumble in di jungle
step to dis, you're sure to crumble
452
00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:59,480
Try walk straight
and try nuh stumble
453
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:01,440
Try hold yuh mouth
and try be humble
454
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:03,160
Shawty, walk in, dance mashup.
455
00:22:03,210 --> 00:22:07,760
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