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WHIRRING
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UNINTELLIGIBLE CHATTER
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Professor Clark, launch
the translator. Yes, General.
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Visitors, we are humans
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and we offer peace.
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TRANSLATOR: We come in peace.
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We wish to know about...
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Why are you a different colour
to the other ones?
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Sorry? You are darker than
the other ones. Why?
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That's just how it is on Earth.
We have lots of different races.
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And you are all cool
with each other?
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00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:01,120
Yeah, we're cool with each other,
for the most part.
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Now more than ever.
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But there was this one thing
in the past, but... A thing?
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Did they turn you into slaves?
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Yeah, they did.
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Fuck, dude, I was joking.
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Aren't you pissed with them?
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It was a long time ago.
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So everything is fine now, right?
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Not fine, fine, but it's not as bad
as in America, you know?
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Why?
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What is the deal in America?
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Sometimes, the dark humans
get shot and killed
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by the light humans who are
supposed to be looking after them.
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Holy shit, this planet is fucked.
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Let's go back to that green planet.
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Let's give them the secret
to eternal life.
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Look, we're all friends now.
Look. I promise.
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Come on!
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Humans, sort your shit out.
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Please, we're trying!
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We're trying!
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Me n'affi ask weh dem
put up dem hands for
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Step inna yuh face, we a gangsta
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Mek dem know to no bwoy
we nuh answer
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Badder than cancer, the freelancer
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Big up every woman
and salute every man, sah
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Never impact, Major Blazer
21, watch 'ya
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Rumble in di jungle, step
to dis, you're sure to crumble
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Try walk straight
and try nuh stumble
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Try hold yuh mouth
and try be humble
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Shawty, walk in, dance mashup.
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B-B-B-B-Bitch, I'm Idris Elba
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I'm Idris Elba
I'm Idris Elba
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I'm Idris Elba
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B-B-B-B-B-B...
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Barista wanted. Right?
I'm your man.
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OK, and how much experience
do you have? None at all.
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00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:46,600
Well, what makes you think
that you can be a...?
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We're wasting time here,
Mr Coffee Shop.
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I'll tell you why I know
I'm an excellent barista.
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I'm Idris Elba.
B-B-B-B-B...
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I'm an actor, writer, director,
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DJ, influencer, producer, rapper,
comedian, kick boxer,
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so I'm pretty sure I can make
little frothy coffees, all right?
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You be the customer,
I'll be Idris Elba.
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Bitch, I'm Idris Elba
I'm Idris Elba
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I'm Idris Elba
I'm Idris Elba
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B-B-B-B-B Bitch...
Drink it.
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Drink it!
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It kind of tastes like coffee.
Exactly.
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Now fuck off. Let me make you
some banana bread.
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MOZART PLAYS HARPSICHORD
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Mozart.
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Big Mo!
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Salieri, buddy, how goes it?
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00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:53,040
Mate, I was just wondering...
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00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:56,360
..was you invited to
the ambassador's...
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MUSIC STOPS
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Sorry.
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He's overrated.
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MOZART PLAYS 21 SECONDS
BY SO SOLID CREW
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Fuck me, that's a banger!
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I got 21 seconds to go
I got 21 seconds to go
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If you like me, let me know
Check out my arpeggio
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I got 21 seconds
before I got to go
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21 seconds
Ta-ta-ta...
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HE LAUGHS
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Baby girl, what you look 'pon?
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Baby girl, what you look 'pon?
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Baby girl, what you look 'pon?
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00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:44,840
Baby girl, what you look 'pon?
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You're just like sunshine
through my window when there's cloud
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It would be an understatement
to say you make me proud
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Cos you're my number one
Two, three, four
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And my number...
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Hey!
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What you look 'pon?
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00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,760
Me said what you look 'pon, yout'?
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00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:11,320
You look 'pon my baby girl,
I think?
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00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:14,040
You want to try woo her
with that little flower?
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Give me the flower!
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Nobody wants your flower!
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Where you from? You African?
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00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,720
You look like one of them
African yout', dem.
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Come back here when you have
some money in your back pocket
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and some hair on your balls,
all right?
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00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:32,040
You have to be a hengineer
or a hastronaut
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or something like that or the other.
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Let's go.
We can't deal with this any more.
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Come. We're going to get you
a future dance hall artist.
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Girl, what you look 'pon?
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So, what, you need to start at the
beginning? That's my thinking, bruv.
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I swear that's your ex.
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What, you going to talk to her?
Brother, link me, yeah?
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Bless.
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Oh, Tom's friend.
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Erm, yeah. Hey.
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What are you saying though?
What are you saying?
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Oi!
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What the fuck, man?
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Hey, what's up, man?
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I am I, Babatunda Warrington and
this is my current accommodation.
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Come on, enter.
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Off your shoes!
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This week, international movie
film superstar Babatunda Warrington
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shows us his cribs.
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Coordination.
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All right, guys.
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You know how it goes, this is
my kitchen, the eating area,
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and this is where me and my boys,
we like to hang out, you know.
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What's up, boys? What's the matter?
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Bro! Wheeey!
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Come on. The camera is here.
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Wheeey!
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You see the boys, they have
the outstanding warrants,
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so is it OK if we can
obstruct their faces?
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Yes, Babatunda, sir.
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00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:15,760
Yeah? Yeah. All right,
the boys are OK. All right.
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Oops.
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Condom.
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Big dick.
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Erm, this is bear.
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There was a day in Ghana
where this bear was terrorising
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00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:31,520
the woman and children,
trying to take their egg,
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so I had to kill it
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and I beat it to death
with these bare hands.
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He died.
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I also kick this thing to death.
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I swear.
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This is the area where I keep all of
my condominiums and lubrications.
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You know, me myself,
I like to be lubed at all times.
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Just in case.
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Ooh.
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Nugget.
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Employee of the month.
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Two Babas for the price of one.
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All right, guys,
you've got to go, man.
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No, seriously, get away
from my fucking land.
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Give me that footage.
You cannot do me
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the way Stacey Dooley
and Martin Bashir did me.
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00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:29,360
Are you paparazzi?
You're paparazzi. Out!
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So, the marginal cost will
likely trend down initially
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00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,600
in the first few months
because as quantity increases,
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00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,040
each incremental unit
will likely benefit from...
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WHOOSHING
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Is everything all right?
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Yeah. Erm, sorry.
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So, as I was saying, coordination
costs will eventually ...
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WHOOSHING
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Something's changed.
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What?
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BEEPING
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Hello. Hi.
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You must be new. Yeah, first day.
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Cool.
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See you around. Yeah, see you.
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WHOOSHING
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BOTH: There's a new black guy
in accounts!
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Move!
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BEEPING
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All right, if you want
to go home, just relax.
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Just tell him... World star!
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All right, all right.
Move along, please. World star!
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00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:59,520
All right, calm down, please, lads.
Don't tell me to calm down, oink.
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About, bacon telling me calm down.
This is going on Instagram Live.
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00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:07,240
Oh, yeah? How many followers
you got, then? 153,000, cuz.
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00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:11,760
153,000? Well, I'll tell you what
you and your 153,000 followers
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00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:13,520
can do, sunshine.
181
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:17,240
You can all follow me
on my Instagram channel
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00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,520
because I've got better
tings on there.
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00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:22,520
It's a mixture of, like, characters
and I do, like, comedy sketches
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00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,280
and basically me being me.
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00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:27,520
I've got this one sketch and it's,
like, this African Uber driver
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00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:31,040
and he's like, "Meh, why is
everybody always asking me
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"about the aux cable? I don't
even know what the aux cable is."
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00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,680
But that's just one
of the characters.
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00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:39,520
And I've got another character
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00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:42,040
and it's basically an African
grandma sort of thing.
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00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:45,760
"Meh, why is everybody always
asking me about the Wi-Fi?
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00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:48,280
"I don't even know
what the Wi-Fi is."
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00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:51,520
Fucking...! Hey! Hey! Hey!
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00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,280
Hey! Hey!
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00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:54,760
Hey!
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00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:56,520
Aargh! My neck! My neck!
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00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:58,280
Officer down!
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00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:01,040
I didn't give you my at.
It's @funnygirl91.
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00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:02,560
Officer down!
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00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:04,320
B-B-B-B-B...
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00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:07,960
I'm Idris Elba.
I'm fucking Idris...
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00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,920
What's this all about, then?
203
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,680
Sorry, how did you get in here?
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00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:14,120
I'm Idris Elba.
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00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:15,880
I goes where I goes.
206
00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:19,960
Well, this is a cancer
research centre.
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00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:23,120
We're trying to cure cancer.
Trying? Pffft!
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00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:24,960
Move over, then.
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00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:29,040
That's fucking shit.
Sorry, are you even a doctor?
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00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:31,040
No, I'm Idris Elba.
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00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:32,880
B-B-B-B-B...
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00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:35,480
I'm a director, DJ, producer
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00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:37,280
and I'm a cat.
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00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:41,520
So I'm pretty sure I can cure
one or two deadly illnesses.
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00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:43,440
Where's the Bunsen burner?
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00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:45,200
SIRENS WAIL
217
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:51,960
Right, get that down you.
218
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:54,680
But... Drink it!
219
00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:02,760
Right, so how is that cancer
of yours doing, then?
220
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,280
But I don't have cancer.
221
00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,360
Fuck me, I'm amazing!
222
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,560
Ha!
223
00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:10,280
Big 'Dris.
224
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:12,280
Ha-ha, fucking Idris.
225
00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:15,560
Ba-da-by ba-da-bo
ba-da-cee-bo-gree,
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00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:17,160
this is black British TV history
227
00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:19,720
from a man like me, Scribbler P.
228
00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:22,880
So recently I discovered bare
TV shows have been doing blackface.
229
00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,960
I never knew!
I just thought they were tanned.
230
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:28,080
I'm glad Twitter brought it
to my attention though
231
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,640
otherwise I'd have nothing new
to be outraged about!
232
00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:31,960
Not going to lie, though,
233
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,760
Bo' Selecta! was odd.
234
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:36,160
Hey, Lee Francis, you've got
nuttin' to cry about, yeah?
235
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:38,520
But why do blackface
when there's no shortage of
236
00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:40,160
home-grown black talent
to choose from?
237
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,440
Lenny Henry,
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00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:42,920
Lenny Henry, Lenny Hen...
239
00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:45,320
Yo, no, whoa.
240
00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:47,920
Lenny, that's...yellowface, cuz,
we don't do that.
241
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:51,520
Some breakthrough roles included
appearances on...Crimewatch.
242
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,280
Rah, swear that's my Uncle Errol.
243
00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,080
But then we had news reporters,
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00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:57,440
children's TV presenters
245
00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,080
and sitcoms that offered up
246
00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:01,680
a nuanced look at life in
multicultural Britain.
247
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:05,480
Eesh, tell you what,
just run another Lenny Henry clip.
248
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:07,480
Oooo-kay!
249
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,440
Ba-da-by ba-da-bo
ba-da-cee-wo-gree,
250
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:10,840
that's black British TV history,
251
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:14,120
from a man like me, Scribbler P-P-P.
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00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:19,400
Gentlemen, you're probably
all wondering
253
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,480
why you're gathered here today.
254
00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:25,720
The thing is, the 25th of July
is my birthday.
255
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:28,760
ALL: Happy birthday, boss.
256
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:30,600
Thank you, that is so kind,
257
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:34,840
but you know what?
My birthday was three days ago!
258
00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:39,440
You want to know what I did on my
birthday? Yeah. Sure thing, boss.
259
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:47,640
Take a look at this.
260
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:52,440
Shoop-shoop-shoop
Shoop-shoop-be-do-be-doop
261
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:55,400
Shoop-shoop-shoop
Shoop-shoop-be-do-be-doop
262
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:58,440
Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm.
263
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:02,680
There I am. My own mother
had to take the pictures!
264
00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:05,760
Boss, I kind of wish you would
have told us, you know?
265
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,360
I did!
266
00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:10,600
I invited you all on Facebook.
267
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:14,600
I made a group specifically
for the occasion.
268
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:17,360
Yous clicked
that you were interested.
269
00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:24,320
Some of you, Carlo, clicked that
you would definitely be there.
270
00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:26,000
I...I...just...
271
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:30,960
I...I...I...I...I...I...I...
I...I...I...I...I...
272
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:36,120
But, boss, nobody uses
Facebook any more.
273
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:40,400
You know, Instagram, TikTok...
TikTok's fucking great.
274
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:43,120
That's what's in right now.
You know what?
275
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:45,600
That's an easy mistake to make,
you know?
276
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:50,280
You've got so many apps these days.
Just sing happy birthday to me now.
277
00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:53,760
Sing it right now and we'll be
all good, we'll be square.
278
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:56,280
Just sing it right now.
Sing happy birthday.
279
00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,320
Go ahead!
280
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,320
Erm...erm...
281
00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:05,960
ALL: Happy birthday to you
282
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:10,120
Happy birthday to you
283
00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:11,960
Happy...
284
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,120
Celebrate life with me now,
you rat bastards!
285
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:25,120
Shoop-shoop-shoop
Shoop-shoop-be-do-be-doop
286
00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:28,120
Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm.
287
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:31,840
DOG BARKS
288
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,120
CHILDREN SCREAM
289
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,840
POP MUSIC BLASTS
290
00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:47,360
Presenting the number one female
recording artist of Uganda,
291
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:49,120
Yemicheda!
292
00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:51,120
Nkechi jolof
293
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:54,560
I know you like my beans
Eh, you like my beans
294
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:57,120
I know that she give you fufu...
295
00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:59,120
People of...
296
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:00,760
Middlesbrough.
297
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,760
..people of Middlesbraya,
298
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:05,360
I, Yemicheda,
299
00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:09,920
have come to adopt one of your
impoverished children.
300
00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:12,120
No time for tumbum tumbum
301
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,160
Umakade jumbum jumbum
302
00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:17,200
Oya now tumbum tumbum
No time for tumbum
303
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,720
Se na my lovin' you want...
304
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,440
Look at this one!
305
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,800
So cute.
306
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:27,760
Come with me. There you go.
307
00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:29,680
I am your new mum, OK?
308
00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:32,080
Look at your new mum. Smile at her.
309
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:35,040
Cheeks in. Cheeks in, darling.
310
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:38,120
Say, "Mummy, I love you."
Mummy, I love you.
311
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:41,680
Oh, darling, you said that so
beautifully. Get in the car.
312
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,120
The number one recording artist.
313
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:54,240
My people, behold -
314
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,120
the devil!
315
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:58,120
Yes, that is right.
316
00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:00,360
Our brother Kevin here
317
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:03,120
has been complaining about a pain...
318
00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:06,120
..in his ankle,
319
00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:09,880
so this can only mean one thing.
320
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:14,600
He is possessed
by Lucifer himself!
321
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,800
So I say unto you, Devil...
322
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:21,480
..out!
323
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:22,960
Be gone.
324
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,120
Get out of Kevin's body, Devil!
325
00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:27,000
Be gone from Kevin, I say!
326
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,040
Be gone!
327
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:34,680
Foolish mortal!
328
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,880
I am going to fuck you all.
329
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,200
Erm...
330
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:43,120
You hear what the Devil
wants to do to us?
331
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:49,200
Devil, why don't you tell us, like,
what else you want to do to us?
332
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:53,360
I am going to gouge out your eyes
and skull-fuck you.
333
00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:56,320
Oooh.
334
00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:00,760
And then what? You shall be tied up.
335
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,120
Yes? And whipped.
336
00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:06,240
Yes? And sliced.
337
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:08,440
Yes, Devil?
338
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:11,840
And, you know, just lots more
terrible things.
339
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:15,360
Oh, yes, Devil. You're going
to do all the terrible things.
340
00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:18,160
You're going to do all
the terrible things!
341
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:20,760
Look, I'm not really into this.
342
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,120
I thought we had a thing
going on there.
343
00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:26,800
Why are you...? You're just
creeping me out. Sorry.
344
00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:30,720
What a prick tease.
345
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,120
Prick tease.
346
00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:35,600
Donations, what have you've got,
guys?
347
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:39,000
Let's get this cash out for Jesus,
all right? Fuck!
348
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,240
Oh, slap it.
349
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,120
Harder. Yes!
350
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:46,840
Come on. Just push it,
bend it and then slap it again.
351
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:50,360
This is so annoying.
This is so annoying!
352
00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:53,120
I'm sick of this crap.
353
00:18:57,240 --> 00:19:00,360
Be calm, my prince. All I want
to do is make sweet, sensuous
354
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:03,840
and ceremonial love to you,
but the royal penis is failing me.
355
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:06,360
If only there was some sort
of magical way
356
00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:09,120
to give me the stiffies
of my teenage years
357
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:11,840
so that, you know,
you could be lifted.
358
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:14,280
Lifted.
359
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:16,360
COMPUTER: You have royal mail.
360
00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:20,280
Who is this disturbing me
at this time of the night?
361
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,520
Vi-agra?
362
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:24,520
Viagira?
363
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:26,120
Viagra?
364
00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:27,840
What is Viagra?
365
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:32,320
"A pill scientifically proven
to cure erectile dysfunction.
366
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:36,400
"Buy now and enjoy
a healthy sex life once again.
367
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,680
"Available today
without prescription."
368
00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:43,840
This is a lie!
369
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:47,120
Fuck you, man!
What a load of poppy tosh!
370
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:49,000
It's obviously a scam.
371
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,360
I've never heard of this shit.
372
00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:55,120
Right, I must do it
the old-fashioned way.
373
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,480
Bring me the purse of bees!
374
00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:00,880
I am going to entice the bees
to sting the royal prick
375
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:03,120
until it is swollen up like a whale.
376
00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:04,720
Load, load, load.
377
00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:09,120
Argh! Argh! Aaargh!
378
00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:11,240
Aaargh! Aaargh!
379
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:14,640
Aaaaaaaargh!
380
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,720
Hey, mambo-jambo!
381
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,480
B-B-B-B-B...
382
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,480
Bitch, I'm Idris Elba.
383
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,120
I'm Idris Elba.
384
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:24,360
Oi, oi! Science, is it?
385
00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:27,240
I'm all fucking over it.
This is shit.
386
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:31,920
It's nice to see so much diversity
in the world of science,
387
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:35,240
but I'll take it from here.
I'm sorry, are you Idris Elba?
388
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,160
Yes. Now fuck off!
389
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,360
Now, what's going on down here?
390
00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:42,320
This is the Large Hadron Collider.
391
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:45,360
Right, this button here's
tempting me. Stop!
392
00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:49,040
You could start a nuclear reaction
or even create a black hole!
393
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:51,080
A black hole?!
394
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:53,840
Let's have it!
TANNOY: Core meltdown initiated.
395
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:56,120
Core meltdown initiated.
396
00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:57,720
B-B-B-B-B...
397
00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:01,240
Bitch, I'm Idris Elba
I'm Idris Elba
398
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:02,960
I'm Idris Elba
399
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:04,840
Motherfucking Idris Elba
400
00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:07,920
Check it out, I'm a major factor
DJ, dancer, writer, actor
401
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:11,000
I do it all - what's that?
Got a problem with your back, love?
402
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,280
I'm a registered chiropractor
Got a farm? I can drive a tractor
403
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:16,160
I can do anything I turn
my hand to
404
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:18,080
Cage fighting, hang gliding
Ironing
405
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:20,120
I've even got a cure
for surviving cancer
406
00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:21,600
B-B-B-B-B...
407
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:24,120
Barista, fashionista
Street sweeper, goalkeeper
408
00:21:24,120 --> 00:21:26,760
Primary school teacher
Stockbroker, spiritual healer
409
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:29,080
Estate agent
Want to buy a house in Ibiza?
410
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:32,720
Want a work permit? Want a visa?
You need CPR? You had a seizure?
411
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,720
Want to buy a new car?
You want a dealer?
412
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:36,600
You want cats? I'm the geezer!
413
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:39,920
Me n'affi ask weh dem
put up dem hands for
414
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:41,840
Step inna yuh face, we a gangsta
415
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,000
Mek dem know to no bwoy
we nuh answer
416
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,920
Badder than cancer, the freelancer
417
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:48,360
Big up every woman
and salute every man, sah
418
00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:51,200
Never impact, Major Blazer
21, watch 'ya
419
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:54,800
Rumble in di jungle, step to dis
You're sure to crumble
420
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:56,920
Try walk straight
and try nuh stumble
421
00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:58,960
Try hold yuh mouth
and try be humble
422
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:00,280
Shawty, walk in, dance mashup.
423
00:22:00,330 --> 00:22:04,880
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