Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:07,080
HE WHISTLES
2
00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:10,440
See you, baby.
3
00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:11,960
So, Erano,
4
00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:14,080
you have my merchandise?
5
00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:16,440
Yes, my friend,
I have the merchandise.
6
00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:18,480
HE CLICKS FINGERS
7
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,600
Arturo, that's a lot of avocados.
8
00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:27,000
Green gold, my friend.
9
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:28,560
Green gold.
10
00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:31,560
But, you know,
we're going to have to test it.
11
00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:32,760
Of course.
12
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,640
HE WHOOPS
Thomas?
13
00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:44,840
It's very good, actually, yeah.
14
00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:47,560
It seems my hipster,
he, er,
15
00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,000
he like it very much.
16
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:52,440
It is the best.
But it's so expensive.
17
00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:55,760
Hey, gentrification is everywhere,
my friend.
18
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:58,320
You know, cafe owners come to me
from everywhere -
19
00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:00,120
Shoreditch, Brixton, Peckham.
20
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:02,800
Even people in Stratford
want avocados these days.
21
00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:05,520
As in, white people.
22
00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:08,040
Listen to me, puta,
23
00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:10,600
I have a business to run.
24
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:14,240
I going to need to put something
on my sourdough toast.
25
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:18,840
Therefore, I going to have
to TAKE the avocados, cabron.
26
00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:21,360
GUNS CLICK
27
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:27,560
HE LAUGHS
28
00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:28,960
I LOVE this guy.
29
00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:30,520
Ha-ha!
30
00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:32,840
You want my avocados?
31
00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:35,520
Everybody wants my avocados.
32
00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:37,040
Here it is.
33
00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:42,640
Take it.
34
00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:50,360
AVOCADO SQUELCHES
35
00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,960
HE YELPS
36
00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:57,080
Blackie!
37
00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:59,120
HE WAILS
38
00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:01,600
Arturo!
39
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,720
SHE SCREAMS
40
00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:18,680
GUNSHOT
41
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,000
There we go.
42
00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:25,600
ARTURO MOANS WEAKLY
43
00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:25,600
You know,
44
00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:28,240
in all my years,
45
00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:30,600
I never even tasted an avocado.
46
00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:38,040
Yuck.
47
00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:39,800
White people be crazy.
48
00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:41,160
Si.
49
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,200
THEY GROAN
50
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:12,200
Jason, we're so happy
to have you home from university.
51
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:15,360
Jason, you were always
our favourite nephew. Isn't he?
52
00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:17,760
Mm. And, Patrick, you are welcome.
53
00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:20,960
Jason tells us much about you,
his best friend.
54
00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:22,960
Always talking, talking,
isn't it? Mm.
55
00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:29,960
Um, listen, Aunties,
about my friend...Patrick...
56
00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:32,920
BOTH: Yes?
57
00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:35,600
Well, he's not just...my friend.
58
00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:38,200
BOTH: Yes?
59
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:40,920
I'm gay.
60
00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:43,280
OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS
61
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:44,760
Gay?
62
00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:49,240
Gay?
63
00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:51,880
You mean to tell me
64
00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:55,920
this boy you brought here
as your friend to my table
65
00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:58,480
is actually your lover?
66
00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:05,560
Well...
67
00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:08,920
MUSIC STOPS
68
00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:08,920
Hey, you have found love!
69
00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:08,920
Oh, we thank God. Oh-oh!
70
00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:11,960
And with such a handsome man
like Patrick, hey?
71
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,720
Look at his eyebrows.
Yes, on fleek. Yes.
72
00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:19,080
You're not angry?
73
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:21,200
What for? You are happy,
we are happy. Yes.
74
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,480
GENTLE MUSIC PLAYS
75
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,480
Love knows no boundaries.
76
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,120
Yeah, love wins. Yes.
77
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,360
Wow.
78
00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:30,040
Thank you, Aunties.
79
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,000
Don't worry, yeah? Come on,
eat, eat.
80
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,200
Let's eat the assorted meat stew.
Yes, come.
81
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:35,720
Oh, sorry, Aunties, um,
82
00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,040
me and Patrick are vegan now.
83
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:39,120
MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY
84
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:41,680
Get out! You bastard!
85
00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:44,080
Out of my house! Huh?
86
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:45,480
Bastard!
87
00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:48,080
SOBBING: Oh, the devil
has taken his soul
88
00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:50,440
and turned him into a vegan.
89
00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:52,640
THEY WAIL
90
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:56,200
What am I supposed to do with
all of that assorted meat, huh?
91
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:59,120
Can you imagine?
Not even dairy products.
92
00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,400
Not even a boiled egg. Yeah.
93
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,200
No assorted meat.
94
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:04,840
No shaki. No shaki.
95
00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:07,200
No banku.
He can have the banku, you know.
96
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:09,960
Can he? Yes, it's just
corn and cassava.
97
00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:12,440
Oh, I didn't know.
We thank God. Yes, we thank God.
98
00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:14,560
THEY WAIL
99
00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:16,640
SCREAMING: Vegan!
100
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:18,120
He's vegan!
101
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,960
OK, so, we need to talk about
department budget overview.
102
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:23,000
KNOCK ON DOOR
103
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:23,000
Sorry to interrupt.
104
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:26,080
Charlene, there is
a...drillagram for you.
105
00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:27,320
Drillagram?
106
00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:29,000
What on Earth's a drillagram?
107
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,040
Mind out, mind out, mind out,
mind out.
108
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:37,640
DRILL MUSIC PLAYS
109
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:37,640
Oi, you lot don't know this,
110
00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:39,840
but it's your girl
Charlene's birthday,
111
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,560
and her boyfriend Phil
got us to do this message.
112
00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:46,040
It's going to be a bit
of a sticky one, still.
113
00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:47,560
You get me, Charlene?
114
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,560
Blow out your candles,
stand at that cake
115
00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:52,360
Get dipped, stand up,
take some pics
116
00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:53,760
Post on Instagram, Snapchat
117
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,760
Crack that bottle of champers
and take some sips
118
00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:57,480
In France they say
bon anniversaire
119
00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,280
Shout out
all the mandem that's here
120
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:01,200
Like Lynn from accounts,
Tim from HR
121
00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:02,760
And your line manager, Claire
122
00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:04,840
Oi, let's not forget your
boyfriend, Phil
123
00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:06,200
He's a good boyfriend still
124
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,440
Could've gave you a bog-standard
birthday card
125
00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,000
But your boy went drill
126
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,720
And he's taking you out
for a slap-up meal
127
00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:13,360
At a fancy bar and grill
128
00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:15,600
And word on the road is
he got you a hot-air balloon
129
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:17,240
Flying over a hill...
130
00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,800
ALL: Who's the birthday girl?
You're the birthday girl
131
00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:21,280
You're the birthday girl
132
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:23,600
Who's the birthday girl?
You're the birthday girl
133
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:24,720
Whoop, whoop, whoop
134
00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:27,040
Who's the birthday girl?
You're the birthday girl
135
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:28,400
You're the birthday girl
136
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,880
Who's the birthday girl?
You're the birthday girl
137
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,240
Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop!
138
00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:37,240
Cuz. All right.
139
00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:38,680
Man coming with, though.
140
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,720
Some gluten-free ting, still.
141
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:49,240
So, Marie, as you were
saying, about...
142
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,880
HE BANGS DOOR
143
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,880
Your man going to validate
144
00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:53,440
this parking ting, or...?
145
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:02,480
SHE LAUGHS
146
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:02,480
That's great. Welcome back.
147
00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:05,400
You're watching Cooking With
Sue And Tim, with me, Sue...
148
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:08,840
And me, Oluwafemi. Because Tim's got
the flu at the moment.
149
00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:11,040
Get well soon, Tim.
Now, before the break,
150
00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,280
we cooked some lovely,
traditional jerk chicken.
151
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:17,480
But now it's time
for a special treat
152
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:20,160
as we learn how to prepare
white people chicken.
153
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:22,920
Mm, white people chicken.
So underrated.
154
00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,440
So, we have our chicken here,
155
00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:27,960
and the first thing we're going
to do is take our herbs and spices
156
00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:30,000
and put them in the cupboard.
157
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,640
Yeah, we won't be needing those.
158
00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:34,400
And then we take our chicken
and we put it in the oven.
159
00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:38,040
So, to recap, to cook your
white people chicken,
160
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:39,360
put the chicken in the oven.
161
00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:44,280
And there we have it.
162
00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:47,920
Isn't it glorious?
It is, Sue. So beige.
163
00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:50,000
Exactly. Lovely and beige.
164
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,360
The beiger, the better.
165
00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:54,320
Shall we tuck in? Yes, please.
166
00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:54,320
SHE CHUCKLES
167
00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:59,520
Mm. Mm. Indeed.
168
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,640
You know what's really great?
169
00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:03,720
I can just really taste the chicken.
170
00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:07,120
Exactly. There's no pesky herbs
or spices or flavour
171
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:08,360
getting in the way.
172
00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:09,960
I hope this doesn't sound strange,
173
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:12,560
but I imagine this is what
white people taste like.
174
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,720
HE LAUGHS
175
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,720
Oh, trust me, Sue,
176
00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:15,960
it is.
177
00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:23,280
CELESTIAL MUSIC PLAYS
178
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:27,440
OK, so. 2020.
179
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,080
It's going to start off just
sort of normal,
180
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:33,360
people laying into Meghan Markle
a little.
181
00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:35,120
And then - bam!
182
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:36,720
Global pandemic!
183
00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,920
And it's going to be
so horrible and so deadly
184
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:43,160
that the whole world is going
to go into lockdown
185
00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:45,320
for months.
186
00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:47,080
So what's the last thing
you want to happen
187
00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:49,600
when everyone's locked down
and a little crazy?
188
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:52,000
Um... Yup, you guessed it!
189
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,120
The cops are going to kill
another black person.
190
00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:55,280
Of course they are.
191
00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:57,880
So then, Black Lives Matter will
start protesting
192
00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:02,080
and just, like, pulling down statues
of slave traders.
193
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:06,160
And then Donald Trump will tell
everyone to drink bleach.
194
00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:07,840
Look, Jesus, I... Bats!
195
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:08,920
Boris gets it!
196
00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:11,720
Kanye West will run for president!
197
00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:14,920
And then there are going to be
these murder hornets.
198
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:17,200
Murder hornets? Yeah, murder f...
199
00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:22,560
Yeah, OK, maybe the murder hornets
are a bit far-fetched.
200
00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:26,400
No, the murder hornets are good.
They'll come later.
201
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:30,280
Well, Jesus, we are flattered
that you would come to us first,
202
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:31,480
but we are the BBC.
203
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:34,520
A TV show like this is going
to need a big budget.
204
00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:37,120
Maybe you want to go to HBO
or Netflix?
205
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:39,880
Oh, no, this isn't a TV show.
This is going to happen.
206
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,680
This...is going to happen?
207
00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:45,720
Yeah.
208
00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:47,320
What do you think?
209
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,680
I think this is horrible.
210
00:09:49,680 --> 00:09:53,240
Isn't it? That's exactly
what I was going for!
211
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,760
Ha! Really great notes, guys.
212
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:58,120
Really, really helpful.
I've got to call my dad.
213
00:09:58,120 --> 00:09:59,920
Catch you in 2021.
214
00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:02,760
Maybe!
215
00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:02,760
CELESTIAL MUSIC PLAYS
216
00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:05,280
This one goes out to all
the interracial couples.
217
00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:07,680
MUSIC: IN THE STYLE OF YOU SEXY
THING BY HOT CHOCOLATE
218
00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:10,000
All of the interracial couples
who are used
219
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,600
for selling things in adverts.
220
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,000
Come on.
221
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,480
You can't resist the swirl.
That's right.
222
00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:20,600
You're an interracial couple
in an advert
223
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,760
Black girl and a white guy
in a T-shirt...
224
00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:25,400
Holy shit, that's Jake Gyllenhaal.
225
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:28,520
You're an interracial couple
in an advert
226
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:32,840
For the purpose of the product,
they're together...
227
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,680
Wow, that's real love.
228
00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:39,000
Tear those boxes,
break down those walls
229
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:42,320
In advertising
you've got to have balls
230
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:46,040
Come on, I said make one black,
make one white
231
00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:48,360
Put them together,
everything's right
232
00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:50,560
Years ago
they'd keep it out of sight
233
00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:53,000
But these commercials
are dynamite
234
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,240
Halifax, DFS, Ikea
235
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,480
Maccy D's, Domino's, Santander
236
00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,720
Specsavers, Sainsbury's, B&Q
237
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:02,880
Not Waitrose,
but Nike and Clear Blue
238
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:07,520
These interracial couples
selling stuff
239
00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:12,200
These interracial
couples selling stuff
240
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:16,640
These interracial couples
selling stuff
241
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:21,880
These interracial couples
selling stuff.
242
00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:25,280
And remember, buy Octavia yoghurt.
243
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:27,440
I promise, this is actually my wife.
244
00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:31,080
HE LAUGHS
Oh, darling, got a bit of yog there.
245
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:34,160
Delish.
246
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,040
One, two, three, hit it.
247
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:38,080
UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS
248
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,120
There's more where that came from!
249
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:52,960
Send.
250
00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:58,520
Yes!
251
00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,600
HE LAUGHS
252
00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:02,200
Woo! That is brilliant.
253
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:08,400
Yes! He loved it. He LOVED it!
254
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:09,960
This is going to kill.
255
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,200
Come on, come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on...
256
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,240
KNOCKING ON DOOR
257
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,960
Yo, man, everything all right?
258
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:28,320
Yeah, why?
259
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:30,840
One minute, you were...you were
replying and laughing
260
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:33,120
to all those memes and gifs
I was sending you,
261
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,440
and then you just stopped.
262
00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:36,520
To be honest man, um,
263
00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:38,280
all the texts,
264
00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:41,000
it's kind of jarring, man.
But you were laughing.
265
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:44,120
I mean, you were...you were
laughing out loud.
266
00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:46,760
I wasn't laughing.
I was being polite.
267
00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:49,120
You mean, you...you...
268
00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:50,480
You were faking it?
269
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,400
You were faking it this whole time?
270
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:56,880
HE CLEARS THROAT
271
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:56,880
Who does that?
272
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:01,440
Who says they're LOLing
when they're not actually LOLing?
273
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:04,800
A lot of people do that.
Well, when I say "LOL,"
274
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:07,480
I mean it! When I say "LOL,"
275
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:10,320
it's because I'm laughing out loud!
276
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:13,600
What about all those crying
with laughter emojis you sent?
277
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:16,320
I suppose that was all
bullcrap, too!
278
00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:19,320
You weren't crying with laughter
at all, were you, Matt?!
279
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:23,000
Mate... Emojis stand
for emotions, Matt!
280
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:27,080
And you have played with mine
for far too long with your lies!
281
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:28,320
Mate!
282
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,800
HE LAUGHS
283
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,800
Yeah, I pranked you.
284
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,880
HE LAUGHS
285
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,880
Yeah?
286
00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:38,400
Yes! Jesus! Ha-ha!
287
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,040
OK. Cool.
288
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:43,200
That was funny. All right, see you.
So, listen, I'll...
289
00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:57,400
PHONE PINGS
290
00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:06,480
HE SOBS
291
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:11,040
Yo, this is a message for
the so-called Stratford Soldiers,
292
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:12,720
from the E19 Posse.
293
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,400
Mm.
ALL: Mm, mm.
294
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,440
Listen, look at our
brand-new ride, though.
295
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,600
Yeah, fresh ting. You, man, had
better stay off these streets,
296
00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:21,440
or else. Rat-tat-ta-ta!
297
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:22,760
ALL: Rat-tat-ta-ta!
298
00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:24,680
Yo, this is the Stratford Soldiers.
299
00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:27,760
We got your message,
and we've got a message for you!
300
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:30,000
Did you know that there's more
carbon dioxide
301
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,520
in our atmosphere now
than at any other time
302
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:34,080
in the last million years?
303
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:37,640
And a huge percentage of that
is caused by road transport.
304
00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:39,920
Haven't you been listening
to Greta Thunberg?
305
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,960
You should be ashamed of yourselves.
Message over!
306
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:45,440
Boom! Listen, Stratford Soldiers.
307
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:47,760
We got your message,
given it some thought,
308
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:49,240
and you're right, still. Mm?
309
00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:50,440
ALL: Mm, mm.
310
00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:54,200
So, we sold the G Wagon
and we bought a little G-Wiz ting.
311
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:56,560
Mm! Yes, more compact.
312
00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:58,640
It won't fit all the mandem,
but it's electric,
313
00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:00,160
it's good for the environment,
314
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,320
and it's got one of them little
cute cup holders, bruv.
315
00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,480
That's great work, E19 Posse!
316
00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:06,840
We respect you
for making that change.
317
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,000
Oh, and we're not
the Stratford Soldiers any more.
318
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,120
We're the Stratford Eco Warriors.
319
00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,200
Come on, boys.
320
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,640
Let's go and get some aubergine
sausages from that new vegan cafe
321
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:18,680
on the Brecknock Road.
322
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:18,680
BIKE BELLS TINKLE
323
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:23,280
Brecknock Road?
You man are on our block again?!
324
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:25,320
Listen, Jamal,
fire up the G-Wiz ting.
325
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:26,480
The battery's still charging.
326
00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:28,120
It's going to take
about the next 16 hours.
327
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:30,080
Well, then call man
a fuckin' Uber, then!
328
00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:33,800
Furthermore, you man's bikes
were dead. Dead!
329
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,600
That weren't no BMX!
Relax, relax. Chill.
330
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,800
Where were the gears, cuz?
That weren't no Carrera! You mans...
331
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:44,560
Excuse me, please.
332
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:48,560
I'm a little torn between the
coconut oil and the macadamia oil.
333
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:50,560
Which one do you think is better?
334
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:52,280
Ah, well, well.
335
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:56,480
Both the macadamia and coconut
are both very, very good products,
336
00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:59,440
but I would personally be
recommending the macadamia
337
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:02,200
for that smooth and silky shine,
338
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:03,840
because you are worth it, madam.
339
00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:09,960
Is something the matter?
Perhaps you are not understanding
340
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:12,480
my thick Indian accent.
341
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:15,080
No, no, it's fine, it's fine.
342
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,960
I was also looking at those wigs
over there. Ah! Well, well!
343
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:21,280
These particular wigs come all
the way from China
344
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,400
and are world-class.
345
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,160
Top, top quality, madam.
346
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:26,920
Sorry, I think you've got something
on your...
347
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:28,600
I have something on my face?
My Indian face?
348
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:31,080
Yeah, if you could just...
No, no, madam, it is fine.
349
00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:32,600
I'm fine. I am Indian and it is...
350
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,320
Argh! Argh!
351
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:36,160
Are you fuck, mate!
352
00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:39,160
IN ENGLISH ACCENT: Shit.
Look, please don't tell anyone.
353
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:41,560
I'm going to report you! Do you know
how inappropriate this is?
354
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:44,280
I know, I know. I'm sorry.
It's just...
355
00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:46,320
HE SIGHS
356
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:50,880
All my life,
I've dreamed of owning
357
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:54,040
my own Afro-Caribbean hair
and hair products shop.
358
00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,440
That was never going to happen.
359
00:16:57,440 --> 00:16:59,240
Look at me.
360
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:00,960
I'm black.
361
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:02,520
We don't buy from each other.
362
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:06,560
You ask yourself,
would you have come to buy
363
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:09,520
your hair and hair products
from me if I wasn't
364
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,800
an Indian-slash-Pakistani man?
365
00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:16,840
I did what I had to do
to fulfil my dream.
366
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:19,680
Is that such a bad thing?
367
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:25,840
Hang on a minute. Yes.
Yes, it is a bad thing.
368
00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:27,040
It's terrible.
369
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:30,160
You were making your head wobble
and everything.
370
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:33,760
Dressing up and appropriating other
people's cultures is wrong.
371
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:34,800
Always!
372
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,560
I can do you two-for-one
on those Chinese wigs.
373
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:41,440
Yes, please. They are fabulous!
374
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,200
IN INDIAN ACCENT: Very, very good.
No. OK.
375
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,240
COUNTDOWN THEME PLAYS ON STEEL DRUMS
376
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:53,240
APPLAUSE
377
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:57,000
HE LAUGHS
Yes, and welcome back to Countdown,
378
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,720
the game show about spelling
an' ting.
379
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:01,120
Sean. Mm.
380
00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:04,400
Tell me girl Carol which
letters you want 'pon the board.
381
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:05,920
All right, then, Carol.
382
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:09,080
Ooh, well, Carol,
383
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:11,880
I can put two pickney in ya barrel.
384
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,720
Mm. Give me a vowel.
385
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:15,920
Mm.
386
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:16,960
And another vowel.
387
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:20,440
CHANTS: And a consonant.
388
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,080
And a vowel.
389
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,600
And another vowel,
and a consonant.
390
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:26,680
And a consonant. Gimme a vowel.
391
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:26,680
HE BEATS A RHYTHM
392
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:28,840
And another vowel, and a consonant,
and a consonant.
393
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:32,360
SHELLY SINGS RHYTHMICALLY
394
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:32,360
Now, take two vowel, and take a
395
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:32,360
boom, boom skin up...
396
00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:35,600
Put it 'pon the board, put it,
put it 'pon the board.
397
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:39,400
And a vowel, and a consonant,
and another vowel, and a consonant.
398
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,360
Another vowel. And a consonant!
399
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:43,400
THEY CHANT AND SING
400
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,240
Boy, boy, you take it too far,
401
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,320
you have enough letter 'pon
the board there.
402
00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:50,080
Right, Ebenezer,
run the rhythm, Rasta.
403
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:54,600
Good to go!
404
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:56,160
Wind your waist up
and bounce around
405
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:57,880
And then swing your teeth up
and thunderclap
406
00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:59,840
And then shake a foot
like you're at the carnival
407
00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:01,960
Then you hear the
Countdown conundrum is
408
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,440
Letters, numbers,
hell of a cock, boom!
409
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,720
Um...Sean.
410
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,840
How many letters in your word?
411
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:10,800
Me have six letters in my word.
412
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,080
And my word is BOKKLE.
413
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:16,960
Like, you know when you have
a nice BOKKLE of Guinness.
414
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,600
Shelly Ann, how many letters
in your word?
415
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:23,200
My word is PINGWINGS.
416
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:26,480
Like them something they find in
South Pole or in the flim, um...
417
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:29,760
What the flim name again?
What the flim name? Um... Appy Feet.
418
00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:32,840
Sensational. And me brother, Roy,
419
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,920
how many letters your word did have?
420
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,680
Wha'...? Wha' you say?
421
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:40,640
My brother Roy has the right idea.
That's... That's a vibe still.
422
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:43,440
Burn these letters and tings and
let's shake a foot! Come on!
423
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,480
MUSIC PLAYS
424
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,440
HIGH-PITCHED BEEP
425
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:56,120
Oh, my God, guys, so what about
that ending to Game Of Thrones?
426
00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:59,000
No, no, no, wait, wait, wait! Don't
say anything, I haven't seen it.
427
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,520
OK, anyway...
428
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:02,040
Nothing tops the Red Wedding. Ooh!
429
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:04,320
Look, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!
I haven't seen it!
430
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,440
You haven't seen the Red Wedding?
431
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:09,240
What the fuck?! Where are you up to?
432
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:11,280
Season one.
433
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:11,280
THEY GROAN
434
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:13,800
I've just started, so please,
no spoilers about anything,
435
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:15,600
especially the Red Wedding.
436
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,200
Thing is, Dave,
437
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:22,080
we really want to talk
about Game Of Thrones.
438
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:23,720
All of it.
439
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,160
Yes. Yes, we would.
440
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,360
Well, you...you can't.
441
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:30,800
It's OK. We understand.
442
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:34,640
MUSICIANS PLAY SOFTLY
443
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,400
Guys, what's happening?
444
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,360
We just...
445
00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:55,000
..don't want to spoil
anything for you, Dave.
446
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,040
BLADE UNSHEATHES
447
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:13,920
Right, now we can talk about
448
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,200
the final episode
of Game Of Thrones.
449
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,520
Ooh, actually, have you guys
been watching
450
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,640
the new series of Killing Eve?
451
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:22,120
Now, THAT we need to talk about!
452
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:24,480
GASP
453
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,200
I've seen that.
454
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:27,800
Step inna yuh face, we a gangsta
455
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:29,960
Me n'affi ask weh dem
put up dem hands for
456
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:31,640
Step inna yuh face, we a gangsta
457
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,600
Mek dem know to no bwoy
we nuh answer
458
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:35,280
Badder than cancer, the freelancer
459
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:38,000
Big up every woman
and salute every man, sah
460
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:41,040
Never impact, Major Blazer
21, watch 'ya
461
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:44,560
Rumble in di jungle, step to dis
You're sure to crumble
462
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:46,520
Try walk straight
and try nuh stumble
463
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:48,560
Try hold yuh mouth
and try be humble
464
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:50,480
Shawty, walk in, dance mashup.
465
00:21:50,530 --> 00:21:55,080
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
33387
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof